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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:09,634 It's over that way. 2 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:14,014 Boy, this is complicated. 3 00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,016 NETFLIX PRESENTS 4 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:20,520 I thought it was that way but now it's this way? 5 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,607 I'm confused. Are you sure this is the way? 6 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,569 - I've been following you. - You have to follow the star. 7 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,404 Stop with this star thing! 8 00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:32,490 Last time, we chased a comet for two months! 9 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,285 - We ended up in Greece. - Are you complaining? 10 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:39,080 Wasn't it worth it? The beaches, Mykonos! 11 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,332 A beautiful and exciting people... 12 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:45,211 Let's go this way. I've got a good feeling. Come on. 13 00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,839 - A good feeling... - That's what scares me. 14 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:54,387 THE FIRST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST 15 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,812 Are they still living at that manger house? 16 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,731 - Yes. - I don't mean to criticize, 17 00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:06,900 but Joseph could've bought a better place by now. 18 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,735 - With what money? - Isn't he a carpenter? 19 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,945 Yeah, the worst carpenter in the whole world. 20 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,864 I asked him to make me a table once. 21 00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:16,993 It was so uneven that I used it to level my old table. 22 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,162 Seriously, after 30 years, nobody knows the way? 23 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,956 It's too far, Gaspar. It's impossible to remember. 24 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,751 That's why only animals go to their parties. 25 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:25,710 It's Thelma! 26 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,922 - Thelma! No? Is it her? - Who, Melchior? 27 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,341 - No, it's not Thelma. - Who's Thelma? 28 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,802 A Roman girl I met at a crucifixion. 29 00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,054 We made plans to go to Jesus' house together. 30 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,139 You are bringing Thelma to the Lord's house? 31 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:41,434 Why not? Isn't my name on the list? "Melchior" means "Melchior plus one." 32 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,646 You can't bring someone you just picked up to a family party, Melchior. 33 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,816 Gaspar, no one will notice Thelma in all that chaos. 34 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:50,443 What chaos? It's an intimate get-together! 35 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,153 It's a very select group. 36 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,738 - That's annoying too. - What? 37 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:56,324 They only invite us to baptisms, baby showers, bridal showers. 38 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:57,700 It's like we're a bunch of old maids. 39 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,537 You're starting to sound crazy. Come on, the star, let's go. 40 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,080 - It's tough for me. - What? 41 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:05,166 The long walk, buying gifts, it's... 42 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,961 Buying gifts? We saw you plucking those back there. 43 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:10,505 - You've just picked them. - It's the thought that counts. 44 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,508 - The guy is God's son. - What, he doesn't like flowers? 45 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:16,970 Just so you know, I'm bringing snacks to the party. 46 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,638 - Now let's go. What? - Melchior! 47 00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,348 You're a magi, not a caterer. 48 00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:23,601 My ham and cheese roll is so good you'll wanna rub your face in it. 49 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:26,354 They're Jews and you're bringing pork, dumbass? 50 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:27,897 Did I say pork? 51 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,691 I said ham! 52 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,193 Nobody has to eat it if they don't want to. 53 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,654 The Shiva worshippers will be there. 54 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:37,031 - They'll eat it. Now let's go. - Who are they? 55 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,908 - Quit arguing. - All right! 56 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,037 Guys, the place is too quiet. 57 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:46,499 I'm embarrassed I invited Thelma to such a lousy party. 58 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,376 Judging by the silence, lousy indeed. 59 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,879 - It's boring. - Well, we could... 60 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,255 - Let's get out of here. - No. 61 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,631 Let's go before someone sees us. 62 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:57,760 No, we go in but say we can't stay 'cause we have other plans. 63 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,512 - Great! Other plans. - Okay? 64 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,806 - Got it, Gaspar? - Yes, it's all good. 65 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,391 - All right, let's go. - Come on. 66 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,436 - Don't you ever knock? - It was open, man. 67 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,354 - It's not here. - It is. 68 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,981 - It's so dark in here. - Hello? 69 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:12,066 Surprise! 70 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:16,571 - Holy shit, that must have hurt! - Are you nuts? 71 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:19,157 - He scared me! - You punched me! 72 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,701 - Oh, Lord, pour your blessing... - What's this? 73 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:23,369 - No! - That ain't Jesus, Auntie! 74 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,580 You're fucking strong. Goddammit! 75 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,749 Gosh! Are you demented, Aunt? 76 00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:31,085 - Happy birthday to you... - It's not him, Auntie! 77 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,420 Enough, Auntie. 78 00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:35,757 Stop. Clean the shredded papyrus off the floor, will you? 79 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,258 - That's enough. - It was a hard job. 80 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,762 Come on in. Surprise parties can't start late. 81 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:45,099 I'm late because I was buying him these beautiful flowers. 82 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,103 - Has everyone brought flowers? - But mine has many colors. 83 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,189 - They are all colorful. - No. 84 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,524 - What's up, Three Wise Men? - Hi, Joseph. 85 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,110 - Would you like a drink? - Yeah, sure. 86 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,487 What have you got? 87 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,614 - We've got water. - Water? 88 00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:01,574 From a little waterfall next door. 89 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,661 It's small, but the water is purified by the rocks. 90 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,663 - Very tasty. - But it's water? 91 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:10,416 There's no wine because Jesus doesn't do miracles yet. 92 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,961 How will Jesus do finding out about being God's son? 93 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,712 - With all the miracles and stuff? - Yeah. 94 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:15,796 He'll be fine! 95 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,173 - He's so sweet. - You startled me. 96 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,591 He really is sweet. 97 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:19,759 I'll mention it. 98 00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,720 I wrote a speech for the moment, from my heart. 99 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,597 - You wrote it? - It's lovely. 100 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:28,309 I made some drawings too, so I think he'll get it. 101 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,144 - He's 30 years old, huh, Joseph? - Thirty! 102 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,439 - Time flies. - Is that myrrh? 103 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,858 - Did you bring myrrh again? - Darling. 104 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:36,942 Wait a minute. 105 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,404 - What's wrong with myrrh? - Someone's gotta say it. 106 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,072 First the flowers, now the myrrh. 107 00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:43,116 - I'll bring nothing next year. - Calm down. 108 00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:45,285 - Does that work for you? - I told you. 109 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,786 - What did you say? - Baltha. 110 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:47,954 Don't "Baltha" me. 111 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,872 - Respect royalty, Mary. - You've changed. 112 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,125 Mary! He's a king! 113 00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,419 - It went to his head. - Don't do that, please! 114 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:57,505 - I told you. - I brought the food you wanted. 115 00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:58,798 See? He likes me. 116 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:01,926 - Let's see. It's not pork, right? - It's tasty. 117 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,386 - Smells good. - Is it okay? 118 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,469 Holy shit! 119 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,681 It's delicious. You can't stop eating. 120 00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:08,599 It is delicious. What's in it? 121 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,061 - That's... - Soy! It's soy. 122 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,480 - Melchior made it. - Soy, huh? 123 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,150 - Soy, yeah. - How do you make it? 124 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,321 Well, it's just like a ham roll. 125 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:24,866 You roll the dough with the soy on it, and that's that. 126 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:27,285 - Then bake it. - But how do you cook the soy? 127 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,662 Does she think I'm Palmirinha? 128 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,290 I've actually invited her. But can't you tell me? 129 00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:34,917 - Well, soy is about individual taste. - Don't be silly! 130 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,002 Tell me. 131 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:37,670 - I've never had this. It's yummy. - I... 132 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:41,007 I personally like to make it... with free-range soy. 133 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:45,261 Right? It's out in the field, getting exercise, 134 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,847 eating grass, drinking water from the creek. 135 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:52,101 And when it reaches the right age and weight, 136 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,812 you slaughter it, cut its neck with an axe. 137 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:57,690 Butcher the soy and that's it. Right? 138 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:58,858 Yeah, that's it. 139 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:01,402 Axe the neck? I'm not sure I follow. 140 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:04,364 It's Melchior's family secret! Right? 141 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,407 It's Mom's thing. You know her. 142 00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,368 Didn't your mom use to breed pigs? 143 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,496 - It was soy. - Quiet. Jesus's here. 144 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:12,663 Get down. 145 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:13,956 Turn off the lights. 146 00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:22,507 - Surprise! - Surprise! 147 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:23,633 Fuck! 148 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,760 Dammit, Leonor! 149 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:29,263 - Are you trying to kill me? - I don't think I'll survive this party. 150 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,849 - Oh, Lord, pour your blessing... - Are you an idiot, Auntie? 151 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,685 - Where's Jesus? - He was spending 40 days in the desert. 152 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,187 But he'll be here soon. 153 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,606 Forty days is too long, honey. 154 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:39,941 Why? What's wrong? 155 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,026 He's finding himself, leave him be. 156 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,196 I do. I'm just worried, I'm his father, Mary. 157 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:46,489 We all know that, stop it. 158 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,783 - I'm a father, I feel.. - That's quite an assertion... 159 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:50,576 - Hey. - Oh, my God. 160 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:54,872 You've got something here. 161 00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:00,128 Darling, did you really invite him? 162 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:03,756 Did you want me not to invite his father? 163 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,300 His father? Are you kidding me, Mary? 164 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:10,179 - He told me he wasn't coming, Joseph. - Wait. What? 165 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,640 - When did you talk to him? - Well... 166 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,892 - "Well" what, Mary? - I don't know. Yesterday. 167 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,812 Yesterday? How? I spent the entire day with you. 168 00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:20,356 - Tell me the truth. - You're so annoying. 169 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,150 - Am I? - Last night, whatever. 170 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,193 - At night. - What? At night? 171 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,987 - Yeah. - While I was asleep? 172 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,405 - Good evening. - Fuck. 173 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,532 - Good evening. How are you? - How are you? 174 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,660 I brought you both a small gift. 175 00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:36,706 - Thank you. You shouldn't have. - Really shouldn't have. 176 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,375 - For both of us. - Wow! Great, thanks. 177 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,253 Beautifully wrapped, I love the fabric. 178 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,380 Look, Joseph! 179 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,592 Didn't I say to you we needed a painting to brighten up the house? 180 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:48,676 It's our family. Look. 181 00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,970 I remember you saying that. 182 00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:55,933 - What? You remember? - It's a figure of speech. 183 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,810 He's been listening to our conversations? 184 00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:00,563 - Don't make a scene. - This is invasion of privacy. 185 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:02,273 - It's abuse of power! - We love the gift! 186 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:03,232 Yes, we do. 187 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,109 - Thank you. - I'm glad you like it. 188 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,694 - I'm really happy. - It's beautiful. 189 00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:09,155 Did you see it? I'm only half-painted! 190 00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:11,073 - That's art! - Art? 191 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:14,118 The artist didn't have time to finish painting everyone. 192 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,704 He didn't have time? Great artist. 193 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:18,706 - What's his name? - It's me. 194 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,667 Aren't you the Almighty God? 195 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,961 Isn't the Heavenly Father perfect? 196 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,756 But you barely finish a painting? 197 00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:30,551 I had a lot of things to do, Joseph. 198 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,678 He's mocking me, Mary. 199 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,722 I also brought an angel food cake. 200 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,808 But don't worry, no angels were harmed in the making of it! 201 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,062 - Come on. - "No angels were harmed." 202 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,107 - Mary, please! - Have you lost your sense of humor? 203 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,235 That joke is so old that Noah told it. 204 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,695 I'll tell this one to Jesus, so he can spread it. 205 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,240 - Make yourself at home. - Oh, it practically is. 206 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,660 - Is he kidding me? - Are you gonna ruin the party? 207 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:58,913 Okay. Hey, look! Is your stand-up show over? 208 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,248 Are you done? 209 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:03,000 Here's your applause. Now go away. 210 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:07,046 - What's going on, guys? - Son! 211 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,341 - Surprise! - Surprise! 212 00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:11,592 Oh, boy. 213 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,637 Give me a hug, honey! 214 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,181 Wow! We have a full house! 215 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,892 That's nobody. Go away. He's nobody, guys. 216 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:23,187 - Jay said everyone would be sleeping. - Do I sing again? 217 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,815 - No, Auntie. - She's so cute. I love your outfit. 218 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,817 - Whose birthday is it? - No one. Me. 219 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:31,904 You monster, you didn't tell me! I didn't buy you a gift! 220 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,991 - Your hair's all messed up. - He's something else. 221 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,909 Who is he? Introduce your friend. 222 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,411 - Who's who? - It's me! 223 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:40,246 - I'm Orlando. - How are you? 224 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,581 How's it going? 225 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,874 Introductions are not needed, he's leaving. 226 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,209 Where is he from? 227 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,128 From the desert, Dad. You don't know him. 228 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,839 - What do you mean? - From the desert, I... 229 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,257 Auntie Lupita! 230 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,633 Is he a queer? 231 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,511 - 'Cause the other one here is a black. - No! 232 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,221 - Don't mind her... - Let her be. 233 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,305 Eat this. 234 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,558 Take her away. Now! 235 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:03,185 My aunt says the same thing about lepers and lefties. 236 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,604 Come back later. 237 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,024 Mom, you have to tell me about these things. 238 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:11,611 How was I supposed to know you were spending 40 days out there? 239 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,654 You didn't tell me! Imagine how I felt. 240 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:18,159 You're right, I'm sorry. I love the party you threw me. 241 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,410 I'm so sorry, Mom. 242 00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:22,455 How did you know I was coming back today? 243 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:24,040 - Your uncle... - Hey. 244 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,000 - Uncle Vittorio! I've missed you. - Hey, champ. 245 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:29,420 - How are you? - I'm fine. 246 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,505 - What about that beard? - Do you like it? 247 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,633 - Yeah, I love it. - It's the desert. 248 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,010 - We let ourselves go a little bit. - You grew it out. 249 00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:39,930 - But why did you shave your chest? - It's... Well, it's for swimming. 250 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,182 - Swimming? - Jesus! 251 00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:43,976 My dear son, my big boy. 252 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,980 The son I have cared for and loved for 30 years now. 253 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,608 I've got you a gift, kiddo. 254 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,610 Dad made you something beautiful. 255 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:55,154 - Wow! For me? - Yeah, for you! 256 00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:57,198 - How does it work? - Listen, son. 257 00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:58,658 Check it out, just for you. 258 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,086 We get the concept already. 259 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,838 - We see it's a charming little flute. - Thanks a lot. 260 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,549 I've also made you a present. Here it is. 261 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:18,886 - Check it out. - Oh, my! 262 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,930 You can even play with just one hand. Watch. 263 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,026 Shush! 264 00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:36,779 - What a great sound. - Very good! 265 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,614 Do that on the flute, Joseph! 266 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,950 It's... it's a different beast. 267 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,243 It sure is. 268 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:43,953 I'll teach you to play the Beatles later. 269 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,246 - What's that? - Jay! 270 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,456 I'm in love with your family. 271 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,292 I was telling Auntie Lupita how we met. 272 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:51,585 I don't think she gets it. 273 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,921 - No need for that. - It's a great story! 274 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,090 - It's not interesting at all. - It sure is! 275 00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:57,425 Let the man eat. 276 00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:59,135 I was just getting to that part. 277 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,136 No! 278 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,554 Not that! Are you crazy? 279 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,222 - Why? - I was about to tell... 280 00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:06,100 - Nobody wants to know. - Let him talk, we want to know. 281 00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:08,102 - He doesn't know how to tell it. - Don't I? 282 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,479 I was bathing in an oasis. 283 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,189 - I was naked. - And then? 284 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,442 And then I asked for directions. 285 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,902 - I asked and he gave it to me. - You bet I did. 286 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,195 I sure gave it to him. 287 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,113 Aunt Lupita! 288 00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:21,574 Oh, Lord, pour your blessing... 289 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:23,951 - No, don't pour your drink! - That's not it! 290 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,369 Stop it! 291 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:29,123 Give it to me. She's naive, she doesn't understand. 292 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,500 - Give me your hand... - Jesus, let me tell you something. 293 00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:35,463 There's a sensitive talk coming up. 294 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:39,216 Relax, fill your heart with love and get ready. 295 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,470 - Look, keep an open mind. - Keep an open mind. 296 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,430 - Open mind. - All right. 297 00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:47,016 It's so annoying. Okay. What's up? 298 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,392 - Son... - Yeah. 299 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,103 Your father, Uncle Vittorio and I want to talk to you in private. 300 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,229 What is going on? 301 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,440 - It's important. - What is it? Say it. 302 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,900 It's delicate. I've found... 303 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,985 Did you find my diary? 304 00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,403 You went through my things! 305 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,071 Do I open your drawers? 306 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,866 There's nothing in my diary! 307 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,577 This is so annoying, I have no privacy in this house! 308 00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:07,745 That's why I'm leaving! 309 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,331 Am I the only one who can't have relationships? 310 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,417 - Jesus... - Is it a crime for a boy to have dreams? 311 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,796 Can't I dream about a cousin? I have blood in my veins! 312 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,007 - What diary? - You didn't find it? 313 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,218 - It's not about a diary. - There's no dairy, you guys! 314 00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,428 I don't have a diary! What? 315 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,640 I thought it would be a good time for us to talk. 316 00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,558 Oh, that's it? So let's talk right here. 317 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,520 Not here, son. Let's go to our room, please. 318 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:33,771 - Why? - It's for the best. 319 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,649 - Shall we, please? - Orlando, make yourself at home. 320 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:39,276 I get along with everyone, you know that. 321 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,320 Lupita and I are besties already. 322 00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:44,281 Plus, I'm in love with this king's bling. 323 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,199 It's gold. 324 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:47,493 No kidding! 325 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,955 I can't believe it. What rock is that? 326 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:14,103 My dear, you know we love you a lot, right? 327 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,066 Honey... let me do the talking. 328 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,068 I'll say it, I... 329 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,571 - Okay. - I've been preparing myself... 330 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:28,325 for 30 years for this moment, so let me say it. 331 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,453 Jesus... 332 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,166 we're here to tell you that... 333 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,169 - I'm your father. - Son of a bitch! 334 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,839 - What was that? - You fucking son of a bitch! 335 00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,717 - What? - He knew I wanted to say it, Mary. 336 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,260 He was gonna find out. 337 00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:48,762 But we agreed I would fucking tell him! 338 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:51,140 What's happening? Uncle Vittorio is my father? 339 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:54,143 - There's no Uncle Vittorio, I'm God. - He doesn't know how to say it! 340 00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,644 I invented speech, darling. 341 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,063 You're so full of yourself, You have no tact. 342 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:00,441 - Look, son. - Stepson. 343 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,067 He's my son, your stepson at best. 344 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,486 - You're an absent father! - Absent? 345 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,156 I'm omnipresent, I'm always here. 346 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,033 He jerks off, I'm right next to him. 347 00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:11,243 What? That's not right. 348 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,746 - He's so vulgar, he... - That's enough. 349 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,790 Is it over? Are we not respecting each other anymore? 350 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,711 Mom, just to be clear. Uncle Vittorio is God? 351 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:21,879 There's no Uncle Vittorio! 352 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:22,962 I'm sorry. 353 00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:26,884 We made that up so you wouldn't get confused. 354 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:29,136 I'm God and your father. That's what you need to know. 355 00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:32,389 What about Joseph? How are we related? 356 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,309 Joseph is... how can I say this? He's a surrogate father. 357 00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:38,270 He makes me so angry when he says shit like that! 358 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:41,398 - He's like a babysitter. - I'll throw an armoire at him. 359 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:44,276 Try to make a curved staircase, an open concept kitchen, bro. 360 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,986 I'll break a plank on your neck, you prick! 361 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,197 - I annihilated dinosaurs with a fart. - Fuck off! 362 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,116 So you and Mom... 363 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,660 - No. - No? 364 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:54,036 Nothing happened between us. 365 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,119 - Nothing. - Nothing. 366 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,039 Please. Not a all. 367 00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:58,915 I mean... 368 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,752 - What? - "I mean" what? 369 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,754 - Well... - "Well" what? 370 00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:07,049 - Did you forget about the... - What does he mean, Mary? 371 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,759 - What? - What was that, Mary? 372 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:11,929 - There was... penetration. - What did you say, fucker? 373 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,681 - Repeat what you just said! - Stop it! 374 00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,808 - You don't know me! - Joseph! 375 00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,101 Are you crazy? 376 00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:19,812 - Chill out, dude. - Show some respect! 377 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,648 - I can penetrate you too. - I'm friends with a Roman! 378 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,233 Mary, calm Joey down. 379 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,026 - Joey my ass, man! - Joey... 380 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,153 - I make axe handles! - Hey! 381 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,072 - Don't mess with me. - Hey! Cut it out! 382 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,117 - The boy's upset. Are you happy? - I don't understand! 383 00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:36,328 Honey, 30 years ago, 384 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:40,457 archangel Gabriel said I would give birth to God's son, and I said yes. 385 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,543 Then your father... 386 00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:45,754 I mean, your adoptive father, Joseph, 387 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:49,425 the best man I've ever met, also said yes. 388 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,844 - I'm God's son? - Exactly. 389 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:55,139 Now I need you to spread the word. 390 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,598 - What word? - Mine. 391 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,226 You say it to one person, who will say it to other two, 392 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,145 who'll say it to other three and so forth. 393 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,354 Like a pyramid scheme? 394 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:06,483 Relax, son. Life has plans for you. 395 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,610 What about my plans? Huh? 396 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,779 What about my dreams? My calling? 397 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,532 - What is it, honey? - I'm glad you asked, Mom. 398 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:16,744 I was in the desert doing exactly that, trying to find my calling. 399 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,288 What I realized, with Orlando's help, is that... 400 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,874 I want to specialize in juggling. 401 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,920 - What? - Juggling... 402 00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,424 Let's forget about juggling. 403 00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:32,551 You now have superpowers. 404 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:33,676 What do you mean? 405 00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:38,599 - Let me just... - What? What's up? 406 00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,309 Nothing, just... 407 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,643 See this? 408 00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:43,936 Done. 409 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,731 He's crazy, what the... 410 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,443 - Your arm, Joseph! - What have you done? 411 00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:52,071 Joseph, calm down. What is this? 412 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,990 What have you done to my dad? 413 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,618 Stay with me, look at me. 414 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,995 - Stay with me. - Is that my arm? 415 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,122 Look at this! -God's people... 416 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,291 Put it back, work a miracle. 417 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,127 I've never done this. Excuse me, Dad. 418 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:08,837 Calm down, man! 419 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,089 Easy. Don't... 420 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,591 I think it's in. It should be working. 421 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,510 Fucking asshole! 422 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,011 - That was easy. - It fucking hurts! 423 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,305 - Did I do that? - Never do that again! 424 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,474 If you do that again, you won't... 425 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:21,642 He did it again! 426 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,977 Why are you doing this? Joseph, stay with me. 427 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:24,978 Look at his arm. 428 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,605 Joseph? No! 429 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:27,980 Joseph. 430 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:30,275 - Put it back, it hurts! - Hold on! 431 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,778 I think I have to twist it, it's not about strength. 432 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,279 See? 433 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,158 - I'm quite liking this. - I told you. 434 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,161 You have to understand that you're God now. 435 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,874 - Okay, but... - Now you can do anything. 436 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:49,169 Can I go backpacking with Orlando? 437 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:50,712 Almost anything. 438 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,257 Honey, you have different challenges now. 439 00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:57,302 I don't know. I liked my life before. 440 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:06,728 I'm not sure I want new challenges, Mom. 441 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,898 But being God's son is a blessing. 442 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,025 I think I'd rather be Joseph's son. 443 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,196 Suck it! 444 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,157 Joseph doesn't have money. 445 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,285 He doesn't have powers, talent, 446 00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:23,787 not even the respect of the community. 447 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:27,499 He's not even ashamed of these things, but he allows me to be who I am. 448 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,585 Thanks, champ. I love you too. 449 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,421 Did I ever have a choice in my life? 450 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:37,301 Or was everything decided by those who didn't even check with me? 451 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,346 I know it's a lot to process now, Jesus, 452 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,308 but your life has a greater purpose. 453 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:48,770 - I need to think. - Leave him alone for now. 454 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:49,854 - Okay. - Come on. 455 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,232 - Let's go. - Okay. 456 00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:56,320 Let's go. Jesus wants to think about all this. 457 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:58,405 Sure, you can go. 458 00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,949 He wants to be alone. 459 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,202 Yeah, but in my case, it doesn't make a difference. 460 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,579 - I'll "leave" then. - Let me talk to him. 461 00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:06,662 Hey. 462 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:08,832 I'm sorry, son. 463 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,542 - I spaced out for a bit. - I'm sorry. 464 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,711 Could you maybe snap your fingers like this? 465 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:15,923 Just raise your hand. Give me your hand, here. 466 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,217 Guys, the water turned into wine! 467 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,260 - Thank you, son. - Joseph. 468 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,804 - Do you hear that? What's that? - I do. 469 00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,191 God is very good 470 00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:37,069 He created the world in seven days 471 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:39,112 And sometime after that 472 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:42,157 He drowned his kids, hey! 473 00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:46,495 He created Adam and Eve Who had sex with each other 474 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:51,541 Are we only here because what happened Between a sister and brother? 475 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:56,546 Let us not dwell on the details We must have faith 476 00:20:57,005 --> 00:21:01,385 God is Almighty But he doesn't make a lot of sense 477 00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:06,390 Jesus Christ, his firstborn He is so fantastic 478 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:10,394 In the heat of the desert I saw the size of his huge... 479 00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:11,477 Power 480 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,938 - So beautiful! - Bravo! 481 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,023 Thank you! 482 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,026 I'm still working on my rhymes. It'll get better. 483 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,279 I'll sing another one later. 484 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:23,323 I wrote a very religious song about it raining men. 485 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:24,533 - You'll love it. - Sure. 486 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:26,368 - Let's eat. - Let's eat! 487 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:28,120 Let's eat! 488 00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:30,664 - Wasn't dinner served already? - Can you play this? 489 00:21:30,747 --> 00:21:34,042 This... I can use as a wedge. The keyboard is wobbling. 490 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,169 Joseph, you got this one right! 491 00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:38,255 Guys, this is Thelma. 492 00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:44,094 Hi! It was hard to find the place, but I did and here I am. 493 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,014 - Who's Thelma? - She's a friend. 494 00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:48,181 A friend of mine. 495 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,183 - Would you like a little nibble? - I charge upfront. 496 00:21:50,892 --> 00:21:52,894 Didn't I tell you to dress decently? 497 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:56,481 - And I did. This is decent. - You must be cold. 498 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,608 - Nope, I'm pretty hot. - No, that's great. 499 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:01,903 - You're great like that. - You don't feel cold in the bedroom. 500 00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:05,032 - Mary, my pleasure. - One of the Pontius' girls? 501 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:08,035 No! Mary is the birthday boy's mother. 502 00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:09,995 She's his mother, it's her house. 503 00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:12,456 MILF? Wow, congratulations. 504 00:22:12,539 --> 00:22:14,124 You could make big bucks. 505 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:15,833 What do you mean? 506 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:18,879 She's just praising how religious we are. 507 00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:21,298 - Mary is virgin, so please... - Virgin? 508 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,550 - Would she like some work? - Deal with it. 509 00:22:23,633 --> 00:22:25,969 - I'll handle it. - Come here, I gotta talk to you. 510 00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,889 My finders fee is 30%. Do you have sparkling wine? 511 00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:30,807 Yes, we have wine. 512 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,267 Leonor, here. 513 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,894 I'm Jesus' father. 514 00:22:33,977 --> 00:22:35,729 - Cool! - I make custom furniture. 515 00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:37,814 If you need anything, just holler. 516 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:40,484 Shush! Of course she's not a prostitute! 517 00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:46,865 She's just hungry. 518 00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:49,409 She's either a whore or an ostrich. Which one is it? 519 00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:52,245 She's just a person who doesn't want to be oppressed 520 00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:55,248 in a sexist system, in this society you live in. 521 00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:57,876 - Is that so? - So tell her... Oh, my! 522 00:22:57,959 --> 00:23:00,545 Tell her to abide by the rules of this society for today. 523 00:23:02,005 --> 00:23:03,340 Look, Melchior! 524 00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:05,175 You're such a bully! 525 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,052 - Oh, am I? - You are. 526 00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:09,054 You criticize all my girlfriends! 527 00:23:09,137 --> 00:23:10,764 I could punch you in the face. 528 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:14,184 - Thelma, come here... - Sparkling wine! 529 00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:15,685 - Here! - Take mine! 530 00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:17,187 Try mine, it's sweet. 531 00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:19,815 - Who put raisins in the rice? - I did! 532 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,942 I cooked this entire spread. 533 00:23:22,025 --> 00:23:24,569 - I also added cloves to the turkey. - But why, Joseph? 534 00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:28,323 Apples straight from our backyard to the potato salad. It's delicious! 535 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,659 And there's no chocolate cake this year, folks! 536 00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:33,245 Guess what? The surprise is a walnut cake 537 00:23:33,328 --> 00:23:36,665 with three layers of juicy prunes and rum... 538 00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:39,251 Joseph, tell you what, don't change anything else. 539 00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:41,753 Come on, Baltha, you must try the candied fruit. 540 00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:43,338 - I loved it! - Did you, Orlando? 541 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:46,049 I did! I only missed cilantro on these dishes. 542 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:47,968 - I forgot! I have some. - Add it now. 543 00:23:48,051 --> 00:23:49,886 Mary knows where it is. Where's Mary? 544 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:52,347 - Isn't she with Jay? - Maybe. 545 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:54,307 - What's that? - Production left it here. 546 00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:56,268 - I'll add cilantro. - There's no need! 547 00:23:56,351 --> 00:23:58,353 - Trust me. - Let's start Secret Santa! 548 00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:00,439 Good call, Mary. Let's start Secret Santa! 549 00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:01,982 Mine's Balthasar. 550 00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:04,151 You can't say who, Auntie 551 00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:05,485 Is it charades, then? 552 00:24:06,903 --> 00:24:10,532 Geez, Aunt Lupita is on borrowed time in this world. 553 00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:14,161 I didn't bring a gift, but I can give a one-hour gift certificate. 554 00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:16,621 Like, let's say my Secret Santa is you. 555 00:24:22,335 --> 00:24:23,712 Cool party, huh? 556 00:24:24,337 --> 00:24:26,131 - It's just incense. - It's me, Mary. 557 00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,300 Those folks are cool. 558 00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:30,051 Have you seen Joseph around? 559 00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:31,636 Huh? Have you? 560 00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,931 - Are you gonna keep running from me? - Show some respect. 561 00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:36,516 - When, Mary? - Show some respect. 562 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,393 You're no secret smoker, I know you. 563 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,562 - I've been in your head. - This is my house, Vittorio. 564 00:24:40,645 --> 00:24:42,772 I love it when you call me that to tease me. 565 00:24:42,856 --> 00:24:43,773 Stop it, Vittorio. 566 00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:46,860 I love this manger and goat poo smell. 567 00:24:46,943 --> 00:24:48,737 - Stop it. - I've just created a big rock. 568 00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:50,405 - Do you feel it? - I do 569 00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:54,451 And that's how Noah put the animals in the ark. 570 00:24:54,534 --> 00:24:56,203 Cool story, God. 571 00:24:56,536 --> 00:24:57,787 We're looking for... 572 00:24:57,871 --> 00:25:00,165 We're looking for everyone. 573 00:25:00,248 --> 00:25:01,458 Aren't you Melchior's guest? 574 00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:04,169 Yes, Melchior. I wonder... 575 00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:07,255 if he's not there in the bushes. 576 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:11,218 - No one left the house. - I think I'll take a look anyway. 577 00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:12,593 What for? 578 00:25:13,094 --> 00:25:15,514 Wow, I smell tobacco. 579 00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:16,765 - There he is. - Is he? 580 00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:18,266 - Go straight. - Over there. 581 00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:20,310 I saw him there in the shadows. 582 00:25:22,395 --> 00:25:24,397 - This is crazy. - I know, right? 583 00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:27,776 - Let's leave this place. - What are you doing? 584 00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:29,694 - Let's run away together. - Stop it. 585 00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:32,906 Humanity's already compromised, it may as well explode. 586 00:25:33,156 --> 00:25:34,032 - So? - No. 587 00:25:34,115 --> 00:25:37,244 I'll build us a hotel by the beach. You'll have your own business. 588 00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:38,703 I can't. 589 00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:41,289 You can do anything. I've waited 30 years for this. 590 00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:42,666 What if Jesus doesn't accept it? 591 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:44,668 I'll find some other idiot. 592 00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:46,878 - Anyone can be in charge here. - Let me talk to him. 593 00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:49,839 - Do you want to go to another planet? - Stop it, Vittorio. 594 00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,466 - Let's go to Mars. - Stop it. 595 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:52,842 - Let's go to Jupiter. - Please... 596 00:25:52,926 --> 00:25:54,386 - Or Uranus. - You'll talk like that? 597 00:25:54,469 --> 00:25:57,013 - Uranus is far away, Uranus is hot. - Don't talk like that. 598 00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:59,808 - But I'll keep you cool with my beard. - Your voice. 599 00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:01,434 You know what it can do. 600 00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,770 You don't have to use that voice. 601 00:26:03,853 --> 00:26:05,021 - Stop it! - What's wrong? 602 00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:07,399 Stop it, Vittorio. Are you insane? 603 00:26:07,482 --> 00:26:09,651 - Mary, you're messing with my life. - You're insane! 604 00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:11,861 - You're fucking with my head. - What's going on? 605 00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:13,196 You drive me insane, Mary. 606 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:14,280 - Come here. - Stop it. 607 00:26:14,322 --> 00:26:16,241 I've just created another rock. Feel it. 608 00:26:16,324 --> 00:26:17,576 - Mary! - Oh, my! It's Joseph. 609 00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:19,411 It's Joseph. He's coming. 610 00:26:19,494 --> 00:26:21,580 Go. He'll see us. 611 00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:23,331 Mary? 612 00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:25,166 Where's this woman? 613 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,252 - Do you want me to make him blind? - Stop it. 614 00:26:27,335 --> 00:26:28,753 - It'll be quick. - Stop. 615 00:26:28,837 --> 00:26:30,672 Want me to give him a limp? It's trendy now. 616 00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:33,383 - There's two on every corner. - Well, perhaps... 617 00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:36,052 - Let's do this. - Stop it! I'm going crazy. 618 00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:40,640 - Promise you'll think about it? - I'll talk to Jesus first. 619 00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:42,601 You deserve a man who values you. 620 00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:44,811 - All right, let me go. - Go. 621 00:26:46,187 --> 00:26:47,522 For the sake of me. 622 00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:51,860 - May I help you? - Excuse me. 623 00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:54,112 - Where are you going? - I live here. 624 00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,865 - Jesus is resting. - What? 625 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,410 He was exhausted. But I'll let him know you came by. 626 00:27:00,493 --> 00:27:01,828 Okay? Later. 627 00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:03,455 - I'm his mother. - I know. 628 00:27:03,538 --> 00:27:06,416 - Would you like to leave a note? - Don't tease me, okay? 629 00:27:06,499 --> 00:27:08,793 I know where you came from. I know your type. 630 00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:10,629 I'm know people who had fathers kill their sons. 631 00:27:11,087 --> 00:27:13,632 - It's Mary, right? - Mrs. Mary for you. 632 00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:16,468 I'll call you Maricota. Maricota, Jay is exhausted. 633 00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:19,846 Those 40 days in the desert were entrancing. 634 00:27:19,929 --> 00:27:23,141 He did a lot of things he didn't even know he could. 635 00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:25,393 So shall we let him rest, Minnie? 636 00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:27,812 First of all, "Minnie" my ass. 637 00:27:28,104 --> 00:27:30,607 Okay? Yeah. This is the true Mary. 638 00:27:30,690 --> 00:27:34,194 This is the real Proud Mary, the one who steps on the serpent's head. 639 00:27:34,277 --> 00:27:36,446 And my son won't be manipulated by a desert beggar. 640 00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:39,658 - It's not begging, it's volunteering. - I'll tell you what. 641 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,159 I'll get into that room, 642 00:27:41,242 --> 00:27:44,204 or your next volunteering job will be for an NGO, 643 00:27:44,287 --> 00:27:46,247 rescuing from the bottom of the Dead Sea 644 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:47,957 your rotten, half-eaten balls. 645 00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:50,126 - Geez Louise! - Excuse me. Thank you. 646 00:27:50,418 --> 00:27:51,670 So aggressive. 647 00:27:52,545 --> 00:27:54,047 Jesus. Did you lock it? 648 00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:56,800 - He probably did. - He never locks his door. 649 00:27:56,883 --> 00:27:59,427 Let your bird fly, Minnie. 650 00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:00,511 Jesus! 651 00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:04,057 He's asleep, it must be the tea. 652 00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:06,267 - What tea? - He was feeling confused. 653 00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:09,145 He said he needed to think, to ease his mind, 654 00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:10,814 so I made him a tea. 655 00:28:10,897 --> 00:28:14,984 - What kind of tea? - I found it hidden in your kitchen. 656 00:28:15,485 --> 00:28:18,071 - Did you use Joseph's tea for glaucoma? - Is it strong? 657 00:28:18,154 --> 00:28:19,239 How much did you use? 658 00:28:19,322 --> 00:28:23,493 Jesus was thirsty, poor thing. He drank it all. 659 00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:25,953 Honey? 660 00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:28,039 This tea is good stuff. 661 00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:29,666 It's Mom, baby. 662 00:28:30,583 --> 00:28:32,502 - Honey? - Orlando? 663 00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:35,171 - Honey? - Orlando! 664 00:28:52,939 --> 00:28:56,568 - Life has other plans for you. - Your life has a greater purpose. 665 00:28:56,651 --> 00:28:57,986 CONGRATULATIONS ADULT JESUS XXX YEARS 666 00:28:58,069 --> 00:28:59,738 Keep an open mind. 667 00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:01,322 Is he a queer? 668 00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:04,159 How Jesus will do finding out about being God's son? 669 00:29:04,242 --> 00:29:07,328 You have to understand that you're God now. 670 00:29:08,037 --> 00:29:10,081 Now you can do anything. 671 00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:13,460 Where am I? 672 00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:16,671 You're inside your head. 673 00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:22,927 Who are you? 674 00:29:23,386 --> 00:29:25,930 We've all been through this dilemma. 675 00:29:26,014 --> 00:29:28,057 I'm Buddha, he's Shiva. 676 00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:33,062 - Who are you? - Tom Cruise will explain it one day. 677 00:29:33,146 --> 00:29:35,940 And there's Jah, but he's hard to reach. 678 00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:39,194 I could eat some beans, if you have any. 679 00:29:39,527 --> 00:29:41,780 There's Allah too. Look. 680 00:29:43,531 --> 00:29:45,617 Allah's gonna be right back, right? 681 00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:48,286 Yeah, he's very shy. 682 00:29:48,369 --> 00:29:50,538 Aren't you supposed to have four arms? 683 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,582 Fuck. Agnaldo! 684 00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:55,794 Hold on, I'm coming. Sorry! On my way. 685 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:59,047 Just a minute, sorry. I was on my lunch break. 686 00:29:59,422 --> 00:30:00,465 Hello, everyone. 687 00:30:00,548 --> 00:30:02,300 - Take your place. - Calm down. 688 00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:06,721 Jesus, being a God is super fun. 689 00:30:07,347 --> 00:30:09,390 - I had other plans. - We all did. 690 00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:11,601 Do you think I wanted to be here, all painted in blue, 691 00:30:11,684 --> 00:30:15,021 - being rubbed from behind by Agnaldo? - I'm not having fun either. 692 00:30:15,104 --> 00:30:16,104 But why me? 693 00:30:16,356 --> 00:30:17,357 Bottling up anger 694 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,527 is like holding burning coal to throw at someone. 695 00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,612 - You get burned. - Cut the shit, Buddha! 696 00:30:22,695 --> 00:30:23,571 What? 697 00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:26,157 Every time you don't know the answer to something, 698 00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:28,409 you make something up to pretend you know it all. 699 00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:29,911 And you know nothing. 700 00:30:29,994 --> 00:30:32,747 - I know more than you. - What's the meaning of life? 701 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:35,250 Well, the meaning of life... 702 00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:37,460 is a leaf floating down a river, 703 00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:39,796 with no water, no borders, just... 704 00:30:39,879 --> 00:30:43,716 These ridiculous clichés only work with your followers. 705 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,511 - It doesn't pan out here, honey. - Admit you don't know! 706 00:30:46,594 --> 00:30:48,388 I could eat some ice cream. 707 00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,223 Guys, let's focus. 708 00:30:50,306 --> 00:30:52,016 What are you afraid of, Jesus? 709 00:30:52,475 --> 00:30:56,062 I'm afraid of failing, of being misinterpreted. 710 00:30:56,145 --> 00:30:58,898 Just write everything down. No one will get it wrong. 711 00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:01,025 But am I the right person for this? 712 00:31:01,442 --> 00:31:02,694 Relax, man! 713 00:31:02,777 --> 00:31:06,406 People are gullible. They'll literally believe in anything. 714 00:31:06,489 --> 00:31:07,782 Look at me! 715 00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:10,493 Look at Shiva! Look at this guy! 716 00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:11,577 Want a drag? 717 00:31:11,744 --> 00:31:13,746 Do you think I have to accept it? 718 00:31:13,830 --> 00:31:17,166 I think this opportunity won't come knocking again, man. 719 00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:20,044 Well, thank you, you've cleared my head. 720 00:31:20,128 --> 00:31:21,296 That's it, Jesus. 721 00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:23,590 Keep on learning and... 722 00:31:23,673 --> 00:31:26,009 - What the hell! - I can't stand him! 723 00:31:26,092 --> 00:31:27,302 - Enough! - What's the matter? 724 00:31:27,385 --> 00:31:29,429 - I can't take this! - I was just saying... 725 00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:30,722 He's fucking annoying! 726 00:31:30,805 --> 00:31:33,516 Calm down, everyone. You don't need to do that. 727 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:34,684 I'm leaving. 728 00:31:34,767 --> 00:31:36,144 High five. 729 00:31:36,477 --> 00:31:38,813 - Where's the other one? - Hey, bro. 730 00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:43,151 Did you realize you'll be father and son at the same time? 731 00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:46,237 - That shit's dope, bro. - Don't mind him, he's long gone. 732 00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:47,906 I'm high as a kite. 733 00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,459 Where am I? 734 00:32:02,086 --> 00:32:03,086 Oh, shit. 735 00:32:04,505 --> 00:32:05,632 Damn it! 736 00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:15,433 I'll name this painting The Baptism of God's New Son. 737 00:32:19,145 --> 00:32:20,521 - Damn it! - No? 738 00:32:21,439 --> 00:32:23,191 - Again? - I can't believe it. 739 00:32:23,274 --> 00:32:25,151 - It'll work this time. - Are you sure? 740 00:32:25,234 --> 00:32:26,694 You tried so many times... 741 00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,363 Actually, the red looks a bit... 742 00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:30,281 You know what? It's done. 743 00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:32,075 You're all set. 744 00:32:32,158 --> 00:32:34,786 And you've been baptized. I do this and we're done. 745 00:32:34,869 --> 00:32:35,954 Thanks God! 746 00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:37,330 What's going on? 747 00:32:37,413 --> 00:32:39,624 - Jesus! - Thank you, Lord! 748 00:32:39,707 --> 00:32:41,459 He's back! 749 00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:43,211 He's back! 750 00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:45,129 I knew you'd come back. 751 00:32:45,546 --> 00:32:47,382 - I'm so glad. - Came back from where? 752 00:32:47,465 --> 00:32:49,092 You were gone for a week. 753 00:32:49,175 --> 00:32:50,885 It felt like five minutes. 754 00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:52,929 Joseph's tea is strong, I told you. 755 00:32:53,012 --> 00:32:55,515 We thought you'd given up on your mission. 756 00:32:55,598 --> 00:32:58,267 - No, I was just thinking about it. - Jay, relax. 757 00:32:58,351 --> 00:32:59,936 I told them who you really are. 758 00:33:00,019 --> 00:33:03,898 I told them you're wild. You're a naughty Capricorn, 759 00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:05,817 sometimes too naughty. 760 00:33:06,192 --> 00:33:07,610 Look, Orlando... 761 00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:11,447 The Three Wise Men helped me. 762 00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:14,951 And you're absolutely right, no one can choose your path. 763 00:33:15,034 --> 00:33:16,953 Orlando was a blessing in this household. 764 00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:19,080 - Stop it, you! - He was! 765 00:33:19,163 --> 00:33:22,542 Do the stand-up bit about me telling Abraham to kill his son again. 766 00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:23,501 I'll do it! 767 00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:27,964 On my way here, I ran across Abraham with an axe. 768 00:33:28,047 --> 00:33:29,799 - I said, "Abraham!"... - I know that one. 769 00:33:29,882 --> 00:33:33,386 He didn't write it. You're stealing someone's joke! 770 00:33:33,886 --> 00:33:35,847 - Jeez! - I'm here to say exactly... 771 00:33:35,930 --> 00:33:37,348 Jay, chill out. 772 00:33:37,432 --> 00:33:40,435 - What's up? - You're too late. I'm God's son now. 773 00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:42,270 You can go back to Joseph. 774 00:33:42,979 --> 00:33:43,979 Orlando. 775 00:33:44,355 --> 00:33:46,482 I think it's time you call me Lucifer. 776 00:33:46,941 --> 00:33:49,152 - Holy fuck. - Call me Lucifer. 777 00:33:49,485 --> 00:33:54,240 It was so easy to tempt you back in the desert, Jesus. 778 00:33:54,323 --> 00:33:55,324 What do you mean? 779 00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:57,118 I did it in the blink of an eye. 780 00:33:58,828 --> 00:34:02,040 I can't believe you were someone else this whole time. 781 00:34:03,374 --> 00:34:04,751 Were you using me, bro? 782 00:34:05,793 --> 00:34:07,253 I believed you, dude. 783 00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:10,006 I thought it was real, 784 00:34:10,089 --> 00:34:11,841 I thought I was special. 785 00:34:11,924 --> 00:34:14,844 But, no, you were just using me. 786 00:34:14,927 --> 00:34:16,637 You're toxic, you know that? 787 00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:19,223 You fuckboi! 788 00:34:23,269 --> 00:34:25,521 - Lucifer, I order you... - Out! 789 00:34:28,691 --> 00:34:29,691 My God! 790 00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:33,071 Wow, I like this power! 791 00:34:33,654 --> 00:34:35,490 You're done, grandpa! 792 00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:38,493 God's time is over. 793 00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:41,496 - His son will have to take over. - I said I'll do it if... 794 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:44,540 I took over his power, I'm his son. 795 00:34:44,624 --> 00:34:47,168 Who will be my first lady? 796 00:34:49,295 --> 00:34:50,171 Gross. 797 00:34:50,254 --> 00:34:53,007 I can't seem to find it... Hey! 798 00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:55,843 Take your hands off my wife right now... 799 00:34:57,887 --> 00:34:58,888 Goddamn! 800 00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:02,600 I'll make the world great again! 801 00:35:03,309 --> 00:35:04,811 It's time for my revenge. 802 00:35:12,068 --> 00:35:15,696 - They can be in Cinderella now! - My godfathers! 803 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:17,740 Son, I don't know what's happening to me. 804 00:35:18,241 --> 00:35:19,992 Only you can save us. 805 00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:25,288 Orlando. 806 00:35:28,459 --> 00:35:30,378 It can be the easy way or the hard way. 807 00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:32,922 Look at her! 808 00:35:43,057 --> 00:35:44,308 Seriously? Fish? 809 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,603 Sorry, I'm still learning. 810 00:35:48,604 --> 00:35:50,022 Mary, go grab some bread. 811 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,442 I'll show you some real skills. 812 00:35:53,901 --> 00:35:54,901 Oh, my God. 813 00:36:05,496 --> 00:36:07,248 It's useless, Jesus. 814 00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:09,792 You're not strong enough to fight me. 815 00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:10,876 Join me. 816 00:36:11,169 --> 00:36:13,296 Let's rule the world together. 817 00:36:13,838 --> 00:36:16,924 Nobody will be able to stop us. 818 00:36:18,634 --> 00:36:19,802 I'll show you skills. 819 00:36:19,886 --> 00:36:23,639 It's no use trying. I can do whatever I want with you. 820 00:36:25,391 --> 00:36:27,685 That's it. Spin. 821 00:36:27,768 --> 00:36:30,021 Spin, spin, and stop! 822 00:36:30,104 --> 00:36:32,148 Do the Macarena now! 823 00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:35,568 Hand on your head, that's it! 824 00:36:35,651 --> 00:36:38,821 Can you twerk? Go all the way down. 825 00:36:38,905 --> 00:36:40,740 You got it, queen! 826 00:36:40,823 --> 00:36:41,991 All right. Show me. 827 00:36:42,074 --> 00:36:43,242 That's it. 828 00:36:43,659 --> 00:36:45,578 Do the limbo dance, come on. 829 00:36:45,661 --> 00:36:47,997 There you go. Let me see. 830 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,667 That's right. On one leg now. 831 00:36:53,294 --> 00:36:55,213 Run from the dragon! Where is it? 832 00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:57,006 There he is! Run! 833 00:36:57,089 --> 00:36:59,634 You're a hobbit! Get the diamond! 834 00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:01,761 Get it from the cave and run from the dragon. 835 00:37:01,844 --> 00:37:04,764 It spat fire at you! Get down! 836 00:37:05,139 --> 00:37:08,392 Get up! Grab the diamond. Go into the cave! 837 00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:11,103 And... cut! I'm tired. 838 00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:30,998 Come on, Mary. Dance! 839 00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:33,125 Dance! 840 00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:47,473 Mice! There are mice here! 841 00:37:48,683 --> 00:37:52,853 Son, he is among us. 842 00:37:57,108 --> 00:38:00,236 Orlando, you... you're right. 843 00:38:00,319 --> 00:38:01,612 I know. 844 00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:03,030 God's time is over. 845 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:04,156 That's right. 846 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:07,243 And there can only be one God's son on Earth. 847 00:38:07,326 --> 00:38:09,870 I like smart people. 848 00:38:09,954 --> 00:38:11,956 And that son... 849 00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,875 he can be anywhere. 850 00:38:17,044 --> 00:38:18,087 What do you mean? 851 00:38:19,588 --> 00:38:21,382 He is among us. 852 00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:23,384 I'm not sure I follow. 853 00:38:23,843 --> 00:38:25,970 God is everywhere. 854 00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:29,432 I see him right there with a broken hip. 855 00:38:30,057 --> 00:38:34,020 But he is also inside each one of us, 856 00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:36,814 including you. 857 00:38:38,816 --> 00:38:40,318 How's that? I'm not sure I... 858 00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:41,401 No? 859 00:38:42,361 --> 00:38:43,361 What's this? 860 00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:52,830 What? Where's Jesus? 861 00:38:54,915 --> 00:38:57,918 Forget it, he left. He's a coward. 862 00:38:58,419 --> 00:38:59,920 He knows he can't... 863 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:01,881 He knows... 864 00:39:03,424 --> 00:39:06,093 I'm feeling... He kno... 865 00:39:09,096 --> 00:39:12,391 I ate something that didn't agree with me. 866 00:39:13,392 --> 00:39:15,019 It's just heartburn. 867 00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:27,281 Fuck you! 868 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:30,493 - Joseph! - Mary! 869 00:39:30,576 --> 00:39:31,786 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 870 00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:32,869 Look at me. 871 00:39:35,331 --> 00:39:36,331 What's this? 872 00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:38,542 Oh, my God, Balthasar. 873 00:39:41,253 --> 00:39:43,130 Is this jam? 874 00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:47,760 I saw mice around here. 875 00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:49,178 Where are they? 876 00:39:49,887 --> 00:39:51,722 Do you get now why I need you, son? 877 00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:53,849 Yes, Dad. 878 00:39:54,141 --> 00:39:56,560 Evil always comes back. 879 00:39:56,644 --> 00:39:57,812 It's unbelievable. 880 00:39:58,187 --> 00:40:00,398 - Are you all right, Jesus? - I am now, Mom. 881 00:40:00,856 --> 00:40:02,233 Shoo! Go away, mice! 882 00:40:02,316 --> 00:40:05,277 I'm glad you've accepted your mission, son. 883 00:40:06,195 --> 00:40:07,655 I haven't accepted yet, Dad. 884 00:40:07,738 --> 00:40:09,532 What do you mean? 885 00:40:09,615 --> 00:40:12,868 - You just said you understand. - I do, but I haven't accepted it. 886 00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:15,371 I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of everything. 887 00:40:16,163 --> 00:40:19,291 Besides, it's not a good fit for me, you know? I... 888 00:40:19,708 --> 00:40:22,795 I'm not sure I agree with your style. 889 00:40:22,878 --> 00:40:25,256 Getting a father to kill his son just for laughs. 890 00:40:25,339 --> 00:40:28,300 Turning an entire city into stone after killing everyone. 891 00:40:28,384 --> 00:40:31,387 Holding Jonas inside a fucking whale for a whole month. 892 00:40:31,637 --> 00:40:33,139 That's wrong. 893 00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:35,891 I'm into juggling, beads, 894 00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:37,184 music, 895 00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:38,519 poetry... 896 00:40:39,228 --> 00:40:41,063 I know our styles are different. 897 00:40:41,564 --> 00:40:43,983 Sometimes my pranks go too far. 898 00:40:44,066 --> 00:40:45,192 But hear me out. 899 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,236 You just turned 30, right? 900 00:40:47,736 --> 00:40:51,532 So how about we try a three-year internship? 901 00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:53,284 - Is that possible? - Sure. 902 00:40:53,367 --> 00:40:56,412 If you don't want to do it when you turn 33, 903 00:40:56,954 --> 00:41:00,416 I'll find someone else and you go back to your poetry, 904 00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:03,461 your music and all that. 905 00:41:03,544 --> 00:41:05,588 Wait. Is this for real? 906 00:41:05,671 --> 00:41:08,215 If I change my mind three years from now, 907 00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:10,759 everything goes back to how it was? 908 00:41:10,843 --> 00:41:13,012 Absolutely. At 33, you're free to go. 909 00:41:13,679 --> 00:41:14,680 Promise? 910 00:41:15,347 --> 00:41:16,474 I'm God, I don't lie. 911 00:41:17,224 --> 00:41:20,102 Okay. But under one condition. 912 00:41:20,811 --> 00:41:22,021 What is it? 913 00:41:24,273 --> 00:41:27,109 I want to choose the twelve men who'll follow me. 914 00:41:27,776 --> 00:41:29,361 Oh, I see. 915 00:41:30,529 --> 00:41:32,781 You know it doesn't have to be men, right? 916 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,617 They could be women. 917 00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:37,536 I know, but I already have twelve guys in mind. 918 00:41:38,412 --> 00:41:41,123 - Of course you do. - Hey, what happened? 919 00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:43,042 - Son of a bitch! - What the heck! 920 00:41:43,125 --> 00:41:44,125 He's dead. 921 00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:47,046 He scared the shit out of me. He came out of nowhere. 922 00:41:47,129 --> 00:41:50,591 There's no need for that. That's what I was talking about. 923 00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:52,510 Resurrect him already. 924 00:41:52,927 --> 00:41:55,554 - What's that fire over there? - Where? 925 00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:57,223 Mary, come with me. 926 00:41:57,306 --> 00:41:58,807 - No. I can't. - Come quick. 927 00:41:59,183 --> 00:42:01,477 In this house, a fire would spread in a heartbeat. 928 00:42:01,894 --> 00:42:03,812 I want to create a girl with you. 929 00:42:03,896 --> 00:42:05,981 - Where's the fire? - Nowhere. Stop it. 930 00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:07,274 - What? - Nothing. 931 00:42:07,691 --> 00:42:09,151 It's so unnecessary. 932 00:42:09,902 --> 00:42:11,153 There you go. 933 00:42:14,323 --> 00:42:16,408 - Say goodbye to your mom. - Bye, son. 934 00:42:16,492 --> 00:42:18,661 Bye, Mom. Thanks for everything. 935 00:42:19,036 --> 00:42:20,037 We love you. 936 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:21,664 - Bye, Auntie. - May God be with you. 937 00:42:21,747 --> 00:42:24,375 Sorry about this mess. Wow! 938 00:42:24,708 --> 00:42:26,168 Are we going to Heaven? 939 00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:28,963 Oh, this? No. We're going to Galilee. 940 00:42:29,046 --> 00:42:32,383 I just like a grand, dramatic exit, with light effects and all. 941 00:42:32,466 --> 00:42:34,176 The poor love these things. 942 00:42:34,260 --> 00:42:35,594 - Lord! - What is it, Joseph? 943 00:42:35,678 --> 00:42:36,762 I wanna talk to him. 944 00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:39,515 Hear me out, God. 945 00:42:39,890 --> 00:42:41,642 I was very immature 946 00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:45,563 in this unnecessary fight 947 00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:47,815 over Mary's and Jesus' love. 948 00:42:48,190 --> 00:42:50,317 So I wanted to apologize. 949 00:42:50,651 --> 00:42:52,820 I was wondering if we could... 950 00:42:54,196 --> 00:42:55,489 if we could be friends. 951 00:42:56,365 --> 00:42:57,199 Sure. 952 00:42:57,283 --> 00:42:58,659 - Friends? - Friends. 953 00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:00,995 - Shall we? - What was that for? 954 00:43:01,078 --> 00:43:02,913 - It was just a handshake. - My arm! 955 00:43:02,997 --> 00:43:05,040 It fucking hurts! 956 00:46:06,930 --> 00:46:09,767 Subtitle translation by 66542

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