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1
00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:10,006
Uh. Sam, do you mind
asking Jay to move to the couch?
2
00:00:10,032 --> 00:00:11,778
Okay. Why?
3
00:00:11,843 --> 00:00:12,938
What?
4
00:00:12,962 --> 00:00:15,221
Sass just came in and
he wants you to move seats?
5
00:00:15,246 --> 00:00:17,402
Well, for about six minutes
every afternoon, that chair
6
00:00:17,469 --> 00:00:22,196
is bathed in a shaft of light
and it feels really nice.
7
00:00:22,428 --> 00:00:24,059
We don't have a lot going on, Sam.
8
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,422
He likes the shaft of light.
9
00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:28,818
Sure, buddy. Go for it.
10
00:00:28,884 --> 00:00:30,216
Yes!
11
00:00:32,045 --> 00:00:34,841
(SIGHS) Oh.
12
00:00:34,908 --> 00:00:36,972
Oh, crap...
13
00:00:37,039 --> 00:00:38,895
Too late. I got the shaft.
14
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,067
Damn it. I snooze-eth and lose-eth.
15
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:45,287
(GROANS) Sass, I'll give you
ten back rubs for the seat.
16
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:46,478
I'll make it 20.
17
00:00:46,503 --> 00:00:47,823
That's a pretty generous offer.
18
00:00:47,889 --> 00:00:50,659
100 back rubs!
19
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:52,049
You got yourself a deal.
20
00:00:52,075 --> 00:00:53,081
(SAMANTHA SCOFFS)
21
00:00:53,148 --> 00:00:55,543
I'm sorry, what is going on? Back rubs?
22
00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:56,893
You don't know about the back rubs?
23
00:00:56,917 --> 00:00:58,582
How does she not know
about the back rubs?
24
00:00:58,606 --> 00:01:00,869
Honestly, I try to shut a
lot of this ghost stuff out.
25
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,533
You don't deserve this power.
26
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,697
Back rubs are like our ghost currency.
27
00:01:04,763 --> 00:01:08,724
We can't handle money, so centuries ago
we decided on back rubs.
28
00:01:08,790 --> 00:01:10,954
The problem is, no one
can compete with Hetty.
29
00:01:11,021 --> 00:01:12,352
ISAAC: Through a combination
30
00:01:12,418 --> 00:01:14,283
of shrewd bargaining
and a general disdain
31
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:15,838
for physical touch...
32
00:01:15,864 --> 00:01:17,162
- Hmm.
- ...which leads her
33
00:01:17,186 --> 00:01:18,584
to never cash them in,
34
00:01:18,609 --> 00:01:21,504
Hetty has amassed a vast
wealth of back rubs.
35
00:01:21,572 --> 00:01:24,171
It's not fair. Hetty's
constantly outbidding me.
36
00:01:24,197 --> 00:01:26,164
I've only been dead for 20 years.
I don't have the capital.
37
00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:28,460
Well, Trevor,
that's just how the world works.
38
00:01:28,527 --> 00:01:31,090
You're new money and you always will be.
39
00:01:31,156 --> 00:01:34,783
In the meantime,
it is I who gets the shaft.
40
00:01:34,850 --> 00:01:38,716
And, let me tell you, it feels so good.
41
00:01:40,182 --> 00:01:42,414
♪ ♪
42
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:49,280
And here's your change, $1.50.
43
00:01:49,347 --> 00:01:50,813
Enjoy your blender. (HENRY CHUCKLES)
44
00:01:50,881 --> 00:01:52,515
No returns.
45
00:01:52,581 --> 00:01:55,615
Hey, man, could you go
a little lower on this lamp?
46
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:59,805
Wish we could, but we didn't
get rich by giving things away.
47
00:01:59,831 --> 00:02:02,831
No, you got rich by inheriting
all my money when I died.
48
00:02:02,899 --> 00:02:05,632
Henry, I think we have
a live one in cookware.
49
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,466
Hey, that's my Jell-O mold.
50
00:02:08,532 --> 00:02:10,932
Put that down.
That is a family heirloom!
51
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,734
Hey, Jay, do you see
that guy over there? He's dressed
52
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,268
like one of your Ren fair buddies.
53
00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:17,634
The only thing I see is a cheapskate
54
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,158
with a mustache and a fanny pack.
55
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,502
SAMANTHA: Oh, my God,
he's a Viking ghost.
56
00:02:21,526 --> 00:02:22,860
Thor's gonna have so many questions.
57
00:02:22,885 --> 00:02:24,620
I have to go talk to him.
(CLEARS THROAT)
58
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,111
Excuse me. May I use
your restroom, please?
59
00:02:27,137 --> 00:02:30,336
I'm sorry,
it's for paying customers only.
60
00:02:30,403 --> 00:02:33,271
Okay, uh, Jay, just buy the lamp.
61
00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:36,872
Thank you for undermining
my bargaining power, babe.
62
00:02:39,933 --> 00:02:41,435
Hmm.
63
00:02:41,908 --> 00:02:45,441
That's kinda cool. Sam loves fruit art.
64
00:02:45,508 --> 00:02:46,807
Why is it upside down?
65
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,609
It's because they're swingers.
66
00:02:49,675 --> 00:02:52,043
That's right. My son's a pervert.
67
00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:54,110
Oh, hey, man, uh...
68
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:56,144
This is a pretty cool
upside down pineapple.
69
00:02:56,168 --> 00:02:58,336
Oh, are you into that?
70
00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,594
Sicko!
71
00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:03,920
A little, but honestly,
Sam really loves it.
72
00:03:04,111 --> 00:03:07,879
Really? Well,
isn't she full of surprises?
73
00:03:07,947 --> 00:03:09,346
She learned about it in college.
74
00:03:09,413 --> 00:03:11,046
I'll bet. (CHUCKLES)
75
00:03:11,114 --> 00:03:12,647
Where did I go wrong?
76
00:03:12,713 --> 00:03:15,715
(CHUCKLING CONTINUES)
77
00:03:15,781 --> 00:03:17,882
TREVOR: And now the chair
is cold. Damn it.
78
00:03:17,949 --> 00:03:20,483
People don't understand
how nice a warm chair is
79
00:03:20,508 --> 00:03:21,699
when you don't have pants on.
80
00:03:21,724 --> 00:03:23,292
- You okay, buddy?
- Pete,
81
00:03:23,317 --> 00:03:25,615
it's not fair how much richer
Hetty is than the rest of us.
82
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,692
Yeah, she throws around
her back rub wealth,
83
00:03:27,716 --> 00:03:29,050
but what are you gonna do about it?
84
00:03:29,117 --> 00:03:30,985
I don't know,
but we should do something.
85
00:03:31,051 --> 00:03:33,185
She sits here lording it over us.
86
00:03:33,252 --> 00:03:35,086
She's like those two old
rich guys from Trading Places.
87
00:03:35,152 --> 00:03:38,086
Oh, great flick.
Oh! Maybe I should choose it
88
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:40,187
this week, when it's my turn
to pick TV time.
89
00:03:41,375 --> 00:03:42,442
That's it.
90
00:03:44,038 --> 00:03:45,354
TV time.
91
00:03:45,421 --> 00:03:46,454
What... What about it?
92
00:03:46,521 --> 00:03:47,989
That's how I take Hetty down.
93
00:03:48,055 --> 00:03:51,323
Yes, she's been around a long time,
but I was a Wall Street whiz kid.
94
00:03:51,389 --> 00:03:54,290
And you just gave me an idea
for a new financial instrument.
95
00:03:54,356 --> 00:03:56,090
It's simple as long as you
understand the basic principles
96
00:03:56,156 --> 00:03:59,391
of market power and the downward
sloping demand curve.
97
00:03:59,457 --> 00:04:01,391
Okay.
98
00:04:01,457 --> 00:04:04,659
Well, I'm out. But have fun.
99
00:04:06,294 --> 00:04:09,493
SAMANTHA: Hey, big fella,
it's okay. I'm a friend.
100
00:04:09,519 --> 00:04:11,376
In Odin's name, how can you see me?
101
00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:13,068
I fell down some stairs
102
00:04:13,093 --> 00:04:14,395
and was technically dead
for three minutes...
103
00:04:14,461 --> 00:04:16,596
It's a whole thing... But who are you?
104
00:04:16,663 --> 00:04:19,362
I'm Bjorn.
105
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,896
I'm from the land of Norvegr.
106
00:04:21,963 --> 00:04:24,963
I died on this property
many, many moons ago.
107
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,564
Okay. Uh, well,
this is kind of a long shot,
108
00:04:27,630 --> 00:04:31,264
but I live nearby and I know
another Viking ghost, Thorfinn.
109
00:04:31,331 --> 00:04:32,975
Big man. Beard.
110
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,108
Yes, exactly.
111
00:04:34,132 --> 00:04:35,432
Abandoned by his shipmates.
112
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,233
Yes! Do you know him?
113
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:40,100
It is he who I came looking for.
114
00:04:40,168 --> 00:04:43,435
You see, I am...
115
00:04:43,502 --> 00:04:44,659
his son.
116
00:04:48,485 --> 00:04:50,481
What is it? What must you tell Thor?
117
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,100
Okay. Well, like I said, it's big news.
118
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,502
I'm talking earth-shattering.
119
00:04:54,569 --> 00:04:56,071
Well, he might want
to sit down for this.
120
00:04:56,137 --> 00:04:57,805
- I-Is he sitting down?
- Yes, Jay.
121
00:04:57,872 --> 00:04:59,307
How do they sit on furniture?
122
00:04:59,374 --> 00:05:01,088
(SIGHS) Wouldn't
they just go through it?
123
00:05:01,113 --> 00:05:03,144
You said they just go
through walls, right?
124
00:05:03,211 --> 00:05:06,447
Whoa, this is gonna spin me
out for the whole afternoon.
125
00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:09,184
By the loins of Freya,
tell Thor the news!
126
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,452
Okay, Thor. So, I went
over to the Farnsbys'
127
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:15,524
and I met a ghost.
He was a Viking ghost.
128
00:05:15,589 --> 00:05:17,692
He was your son Bjorn.
129
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:20,161
How do you know this name?
130
00:05:20,228 --> 00:05:21,963
I just told you I met him.
131
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:24,533
(LAUGHS) Is impossible.
132
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,701
You're saying that my son,
who I haven't seen
133
00:05:26,769 --> 00:05:29,538
in a thousand years,
has been two ship lengths away
134
00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:30,841
this entire time.
135
00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:32,608
I know, it's so crazy,
136
00:05:32,675 --> 00:05:35,343
but it's true. I would
never lie about this.
137
00:05:37,779 --> 00:05:40,249
You met my baby Bjorn?
138
00:05:40,316 --> 00:05:42,485
Well, he's all grown up now.
139
00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:46,521
Last I saw him,
he was just a... (CHUCKLES)
140
00:05:46,588 --> 00:05:47,622
...little boy.
141
00:05:47,689 --> 00:05:50,125
Bjorn, when I was your age,
142
00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:54,163
my father gave me this.
143
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:02,237
And now I give it to you.
144
00:06:02,677 --> 00:06:06,175
May you spill the blood
of many Danes with it.
145
00:06:07,776 --> 00:06:12,281
Now say, "Goodbye, Father."
146
00:06:14,884 --> 00:06:17,620
Come on. You can do it.
147
00:06:17,687 --> 00:06:19,975
Say "Father."
148
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,139
He's still too young to speak,
you know this.
149
00:06:28,264 --> 00:06:30,701
Then I shall hear it upon my return.
150
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:36,505
But I never do hear him say "Father"
because I never return.
151
00:06:36,572 --> 00:06:39,042
Well, he came looking for you, Thor.
152
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:42,211
All the way from the Old World.
153
00:06:42,278 --> 00:06:44,247
What if a wall were made out of couch?
154
00:06:44,314 --> 00:06:46,048
Would I not be able to go through that?
155
00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:49,119
Thor want to know everything.
Have so many questions.
156
00:06:49,185 --> 00:06:52,154
I thought you might, which is why
I asked a lot of questions.
157
00:06:52,221 --> 00:06:56,393
Okay, so, Bjorn was married.
He had three kids.
158
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,394
You're a gramps, buddy!
159
00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,862
Who was his first kill?
160
00:06:59,930 --> 00:07:02,098
His first kill?
161
00:07:02,165 --> 00:07:03,634
I don't think we covered that.
162
00:07:03,699 --> 00:07:05,168
Okay...
163
00:07:05,235 --> 00:07:08,305
How many Danish heads did he
have lined up outside his cottage?
164
00:07:08,372 --> 00:07:11,675
Again, I didn't ask that, specifically.
165
00:07:11,742 --> 00:07:14,579
You call yourself journalist?
These are obvious questions.
166
00:07:14,646 --> 00:07:16,346
Oh, yeah, he's got you there,
Sam. Who, what, where,
167
00:07:16,413 --> 00:07:18,615
when, why, how many severed heads?
168
00:07:18,682 --> 00:07:20,084
These are the tools of your trade.
169
00:07:20,151 --> 00:07:21,918
Thor wish he could speak
to Bjorn himself.
170
00:07:21,985 --> 00:07:24,154
He's so close yet so far.
171
00:07:24,221 --> 00:07:25,889
I know. It's too bad that you don't live
172
00:07:25,956 --> 00:07:27,925
next door to your son
and then you could just, like,
173
00:07:27,992 --> 00:07:29,994
walk up to the property
line and talk to him.
174
00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:31,696
But the Farnsbys' is two doors over.
175
00:07:31,762 --> 00:07:33,231
Wait a minute.
176
00:07:33,257 --> 00:07:36,927
There may be a way
for them to speak. Follow me.
177
00:07:43,331 --> 00:07:44,776
FLOWER: Huh.
178
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,069
Need help?
179
00:07:46,093 --> 00:07:48,730
Alberta, I know
it's your turn to choose,
180
00:07:48,879 --> 00:07:52,182
but I'll pay you 50 back rubs
to watch Bodices & Barons.
181
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,033
Ugh, is that that boring
period piece drama?
182
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,127
Boring?
183
00:07:55,153 --> 00:07:57,355
Did you not see the smoldering glances
184
00:07:57,422 --> 00:07:59,590
the baron shot at the
chambermaid last week?
185
00:07:59,656 --> 00:08:01,526
Shocked they can put
that on the television.
186
00:08:01,591 --> 00:08:05,297
Well, as exciting as that sounds,
I already sold all my TV time
187
00:08:05,363 --> 00:08:06,776
for the next month to Trevor.
188
00:08:06,802 --> 00:08:09,802
Oh, you did? So did I.
189
00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:12,603
I also sold Trevor my TV time.
It was part of some
190
00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:14,605
elaborate plan of his
I didn't understand.
191
00:08:14,673 --> 00:08:17,108
The plan's actually quite simple.
192
00:08:17,175 --> 00:08:19,244
I bought everyone's TV time.
193
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,548
And now I have a monopoly
for the next month.
194
00:08:22,613 --> 00:08:25,050
And I'm gonna use it
to watch classic '90s
195
00:08:25,117 --> 00:08:28,853
figure skating rom-com
The Cutting Edge on repeat.
196
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,723
(TALKING OVER EACH OTHER)
197
00:08:30,747 --> 00:08:35,259
Relax, relax. All you have to do is
buy your TV time back from me...
198
00:08:35,326 --> 00:08:37,062
at a huge markup, of course.
199
00:08:37,129 --> 00:08:40,164
Trevor, why are you doing this?
200
00:08:40,231 --> 00:08:42,000
To level the playing field.
201
00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:44,202
After this, I'm going
to have so many back rubs,
202
00:08:44,269 --> 00:08:46,672
it's gonna be like
Burke Williams in here.
203
00:08:46,739 --> 00:08:48,673
- HETTY: What is that?
- Who's Burke Williams?
204
00:08:48,740 --> 00:08:50,241
- ALBERTA: Is that a bank?
- You may not understand that reference,
205
00:08:50,308 --> 00:08:52,277
but trust me, it is apt.
206
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,212
JAY: Hey, babe, check it out.
207
00:08:55,023 --> 00:08:57,191
See? Look. You can see the Farnsbys'
208
00:08:57,216 --> 00:08:58,584
top floor from this window.
209
00:08:58,609 --> 00:09:01,596
I noticed it recently after
Sass's tree got cut down.
210
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:04,389
- Sorry about that, Sass.
- Oh, he's not here.
211
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,458
Oh, okay, well, then, I am feeling...
212
00:09:06,518 --> 00:09:08,220
- Hetty?
- Let's not do this.
213
00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:11,096
So... how will Thor speak to Bjorn?
214
00:09:11,163 --> 00:09:14,267
Well, if you stand here, then I will
get Bjorn to stand by that window,
215
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:15,835
then you two could yell at each other.
216
00:09:15,902 --> 00:09:19,505
Yes! I can yell at my son
the way my father yell at me.
217
00:09:19,572 --> 00:09:21,240
Except it would be out of love
218
00:09:21,307 --> 00:09:24,811
and not anger that I eat
all the ram's testicles.
219
00:09:24,878 --> 00:09:26,645
Okay. Be on this spot in one hour.
220
00:09:26,712 --> 00:09:30,682
We just need to figure out some excuse
to get into the Farnsbys' house.
221
00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:33,086
I'm sorry, did you say
"ram's testicles"?
222
00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:34,846
I don't even want to know.
223
00:09:34,870 --> 00:09:36,472
Is Norse delicacy.
224
00:09:36,623 --> 00:09:39,893
I wonder if Bjorn likes...
Did you ask him this?
225
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,161
It didn't come up.
226
00:09:41,226 --> 00:09:43,629
Big surprise.
227
00:09:43,696 --> 00:09:46,298
TREVOR: 375 back rubs for Friday night.
228
00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:48,868
400! Sold to Alberta.
229
00:09:48,893 --> 00:09:50,193
Yes! Oh... (CHUCKLES)
230
00:09:50,219 --> 00:09:53,573
It's a steep price, but at least
I'll get my Jason Momoa fix.
231
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,442
And we will be watching
certain scenes in slo-mo.
232
00:09:56,509 --> 00:09:58,812
Aka slo-Momoa. (CHUCKLES)
233
00:09:58,879 --> 00:10:01,749
Not my best work, but I had
to get it out of my head.
234
00:10:01,816 --> 00:10:04,884
What if, instead of
bidding against each other
235
00:10:04,951 --> 00:10:07,888
and driving up the price,
we form a coalition?
236
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,823
Utilize the power
of collective bargaining?
237
00:10:09,849 --> 00:10:11,083
Oh, like we form a union.
238
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:13,610
I did not use the U-word.
239
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,897
I am simply suggesting,
if we band together
240
00:10:16,963 --> 00:10:19,700
and agree not to buy any
TV time, it becomes valueless.
241
00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,067
And Trevor will have nothing.
242
00:10:21,134 --> 00:10:23,470
Okay. So,
what are we supposed to do, just watch
243
00:10:23,495 --> 00:10:24,813
The Cutting Edge over and over?
244
00:10:24,838 --> 00:10:27,341
The guy loses his peripheral vision
and can't play hockey
245
00:10:27,408 --> 00:10:29,342
but he can still figure skate?
246
00:10:29,409 --> 00:10:30,577
Doesn't make any sense.
247
00:10:30,644 --> 00:10:32,913
PETE: Okay, maybe we don't watch TV
at all.
248
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:34,447
Like the good old days, you know?
249
00:10:34,556 --> 00:10:37,459
Trivia, charades, sharing secrets...
250
00:10:37,484 --> 00:10:38,852
(WHISPERS): I don't like mustard.
251
00:10:38,918 --> 00:10:41,989
You won't be able to
last without TV time.
252
00:10:42,056 --> 00:10:44,390
You'll be back. You'll all be back.
253
00:10:44,415 --> 00:10:47,161
No, Trevor. Not if we stick together.
254
00:10:47,227 --> 00:10:49,163
Because together...
255
00:10:49,965 --> 00:10:52,634
...the power belongs to the people.
256
00:10:52,701 --> 00:10:55,570
Oh, I hate myself.
I really hated saying that.
257
00:10:55,636 --> 00:10:57,205
How's Thor's hair?
258
00:10:57,272 --> 00:10:59,375
What about scar, hmm?
259
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,051
Thor, he's not gonna be able to make out
260
00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:03,410
those tiny details
from that distant window.
261
00:11:03,477 --> 00:11:06,248
But he also won't smell the wolf urine,
so it all evens out.
262
00:11:06,313 --> 00:11:08,383
Just so nervous and excited.
263
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:10,719
Is biggest moment of Thor's life.
264
00:11:10,784 --> 00:11:12,553
What are you gonna
yell about with him first?
265
00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:14,655
I don't know, just...
266
00:11:14,722 --> 00:11:17,759
So many questions, I...
know so little of him.
267
00:11:17,826 --> 00:11:21,528
Well, Samantha made some notes
from the conversation. Let's see here...
268
00:11:21,553 --> 00:11:23,386
He lived in...
269
00:11:23,412 --> 00:11:26,176
unpronounceable town
with far too many consonants
270
00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:27,802
with his wife, Alma.
271
00:11:27,869 --> 00:11:29,104
(LAUGHS)
272
00:11:29,169 --> 00:11:32,072
No, that wrong. That name Danish. It...
273
00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:33,540
must be mistake.
274
00:11:33,607 --> 00:11:35,543
Oh, no, no, no.
No, that's what it says here.
275
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:38,379
He had three children:
Magnus, Inger and Lars.
276
00:11:38,446 --> 00:11:42,918
But those also names of Danes.
277
00:11:44,052 --> 00:11:46,054
Oh, dear.
278
00:11:46,121 --> 00:11:47,889
Bjorn...
279
00:11:47,956 --> 00:11:49,258
married Dane.
280
00:11:49,325 --> 00:11:51,293
(SOFT CHUCKLING)
281
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,828
Is deepest betrayal.
282
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,066
Bjorn is...
283
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,433
traitor.
284
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,369
Well, you know, so was Benedict Arnold,
285
00:12:00,436 --> 00:12:02,605
but he was still
a delightful dinner party guest.
286
00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:04,907
Thor, who cares who he married?
287
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,241
Bjorn's your son.
288
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,177
No.
289
00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:09,879
This is where you're wrong.
290
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:14,961
Thor have no son!
291
00:12:16,037 --> 00:12:17,903
Well, this is gonna make
for an awkward reunion.
292
00:12:17,932 --> 00:12:18,587
Yeah...
293
00:12:20,504 --> 00:12:21,633
So, how long do you think
this is gonna take?
294
00:12:21,644 --> 00:12:23,282
I don't know, Jay. This is my first time
295
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:26,197
having to get a ghost Viking
to a designated scream spot,
296
00:12:26,222 --> 00:12:28,594
where he will reunite with his
father after a thousand years.
297
00:12:28,693 --> 00:12:30,966
- Ballpark?
- Five minutes?
298
00:12:31,071 --> 00:12:32,107
(KNOCKING)
299
00:12:32,173 --> 00:12:33,509
(DOOR CREAKS)
300
00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:35,004
Weird. It's open.
301
00:12:40,091 --> 00:12:41,561
Oh, my God, Henry, it's Sam and Jay.
302
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:44,466
I told you. Hello, please come in.
303
00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:46,239
Hi, uh, we came to return your lamp.
304
00:12:46,304 --> 00:12:48,043
And I know you don't take returns...
305
00:12:48,109 --> 00:12:49,645
That is so cute.
306
00:12:49,712 --> 00:12:51,450
But you didn't have to make up an excuse
307
00:12:51,475 --> 00:12:53,328
to come to our little get-together.
308
00:12:53,354 --> 00:12:54,923
Oh, you have company.
309
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,251
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
310
00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:58,562
Oh, no, no.
We're so glad you could make it.
311
00:12:58,586 --> 00:13:00,190
May I please use your bathroom?
312
00:13:00,215 --> 00:13:01,451
Yes. Yes, of course.
313
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:03,581
And don't worry,
we won't start without you.
314
00:13:03,606 --> 00:13:05,378
Thanks. (LAUGHING)
315
00:13:06,649 --> 00:13:11,626
Come with us. Our friends will
be very excited to meet you.
316
00:13:12,538 --> 00:13:15,677
Everybody, this is our neighbor Jay
and he's here for the party
317
00:13:15,702 --> 00:13:18,876
with his wife, Sam, who's a blonde.
318
00:13:18,943 --> 00:13:21,182
(LAUGHTER)
319
00:13:21,249 --> 00:13:24,187
Oh, how I hate the first
Wednesday of every month.
320
00:13:25,357 --> 00:13:28,498
Okay, so that's my house over there.
321
00:13:28,565 --> 00:13:31,471
Your father should be appearing
at that window at any moment.
322
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,389
Oh, I see someone.
323
00:13:39,456 --> 00:13:43,062
Hello! Bjorn is here!
324
00:13:43,129 --> 00:13:45,668
(DISTANTLY): It is Bjorn!
325
00:13:45,735 --> 00:13:49,009
Just a moment! Thor'll be right here!
326
00:13:49,076 --> 00:13:51,715
Tell him I'm very excited!
327
00:13:51,783 --> 00:13:53,419
He's equally excited!
328
00:13:53,486 --> 00:13:55,390
Of that, I can assure you!
329
00:13:55,456 --> 00:13:57,427
A Fin, I could live with that.
330
00:13:57,495 --> 00:14:00,268
A Swede, disgusting, but fine.
331
00:14:00,335 --> 00:14:01,904
But why Dane?
332
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,376
Why you do that to me?
333
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,783
Dude, Denmark is actually pretty cool.
334
00:14:06,849 --> 00:14:09,455
I mean, I've never been,
but I used to buy Whippets
335
00:14:09,522 --> 00:14:12,928
from a Danish guy at Dead shows
and he was really cool.
336
00:14:12,995 --> 00:14:14,966
ISAAC: Okay, Thor. It's showtime.
337
00:14:15,033 --> 00:14:16,804
Your son is waiting for you.
338
00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:19,009
I said I don't want to talk to him.
339
00:14:19,076 --> 00:14:21,548
Thor, he traveled
half the world and waited
340
00:14:21,615 --> 00:14:23,786
a thousand years just to find you.
341
00:14:23,852 --> 00:14:26,659
That's more work than I put
in to meet David Crosby.
342
00:14:26,726 --> 00:14:28,963
- Thor not care.
- ISAAC: Can you imagine
343
00:14:29,030 --> 00:14:31,436
the disappointment
he is going to feel right now
344
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:32,905
if you abandon him?
345
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:34,509
You are his father.
346
00:14:36,447 --> 00:14:38,250
- You're right.
- Oh...
347
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:43,095
He is under the impression
that I am his father,
348
00:14:43,162 --> 00:14:44,966
so I will speak to him,
349
00:14:45,033 --> 00:14:48,774
and tell him he is no longer my son!
350
00:14:48,841 --> 00:14:52,115
Okay. It feels like you're
deliberately twisting my words.
351
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,384
(SIGHS)
352
00:14:53,451 --> 00:14:55,690
I miss Whippets.
353
00:14:55,756 --> 00:14:58,028
(SIGHS)
354
00:14:58,095 --> 00:15:00,133
How are you doing, Trevor?
355
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,871
Me? I'm awesome.
356
00:15:02,938 --> 00:15:04,676
Nine and a half Cutting Edges in,
357
00:15:04,743 --> 00:15:06,245
and it just keeps getting better.
358
00:15:06,312 --> 00:15:08,951
Are you sure? You look a little glum.
359
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,182
Man just lost his peripheral vision.
360
00:15:11,206 --> 00:15:13,010
Of course I'm a little glum.
361
00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:14,773
But exclusively about that.
362
00:15:14,798 --> 00:15:18,740
Tell me, when you were alive...
363
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:22,448
...why did you want to make money?
364
00:15:22,515 --> 00:15:23,551
Excuse me?
365
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:24,855
Let's say you had not died
366
00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:26,859
tragically young and without pants
367
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,636
and you had made
all the money you'd ever wanted.
368
00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,232
What would your life have looked like?
369
00:15:30,298 --> 00:15:31,970
Paint me a picture.
370
00:15:32,036 --> 00:15:34,609
Okay. Um...
371
00:15:34,674 --> 00:15:35,879
I'm in a glass-bottom pool
372
00:15:35,945 --> 00:15:37,982
on top of a skyscraper that I own,
373
00:15:38,048 --> 00:15:40,288
and Kid Rock is there
and he's deejaying,
374
00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:41,424
but not because I'm paying him,
375
00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:43,461
because he's just there
376
00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:45,298
and it happens spontaneously.
377
00:15:45,365 --> 00:15:47,102
And we have an epic party.
378
00:15:47,169 --> 00:15:50,677
And afterwards, I make love
to my wife, Tara Reid,
379
00:15:50,745 --> 00:15:54,787
and post-coitus, together,
we watch The Cutting Edge.
380
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,155
Duh.
381
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,128
It seems like money
382
00:15:58,195 --> 00:16:00,365
wasn't just about money, then.
383
00:16:00,432 --> 00:16:01,836
It was about friends.
384
00:16:01,902 --> 00:16:05,076
About having someone to share it with.
385
00:16:05,143 --> 00:16:06,379
I guess so.
386
00:16:06,446 --> 00:16:09,284
But now, your pursuit of wealth
387
00:16:09,351 --> 00:16:11,524
has left you all alone.
388
00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:14,865
Take it from someone
who actually was rich.
389
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:17,903
It's lonely at the top.
390
00:16:19,139 --> 00:16:20,943
The question you have
to ask yourself is...
391
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,482
...is it worth it?
392
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,365
JAY: Hold up.
393
00:16:30,432 --> 00:16:31,868
You have a toy room, too?
394
00:16:31,934 --> 00:16:33,840
I love how excited you are about this.
395
00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:36,211
Sam thinks I'm a freak for having one.
396
00:16:36,278 --> 00:16:38,549
You know, I wasn't
into it at first, either.
397
00:16:38,615 --> 00:16:39,952
You just gotta play around a little bit
398
00:16:40,019 --> 00:16:41,423
till you find the ones you like.
399
00:16:41,490 --> 00:16:44,629
(CHUCKLES) Can we trade wives?
400
00:16:44,697 --> 00:16:47,302
Uh, and on that note,
ladies and gentlemen,
401
00:16:47,369 --> 00:16:48,806
the time has come.
402
00:16:48,873 --> 00:16:50,943
Is this because I didn't breastfeed you?
403
00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:52,746
(RINGING)
404
00:16:54,619 --> 00:16:56,690
What you doin', Margaret?
405
00:16:57,658 --> 00:16:59,028
Oh, um...
406
00:16:59,095 --> 00:17:00,298
(GIGGLES)
407
00:17:01,232 --> 00:17:03,136
Ah.
408
00:17:03,714 --> 00:17:07,622
After some careful
consideration, I have decided
409
00:17:07,646 --> 00:17:09,183
to give everyone their TV time back.
410
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:10,420
What's the catch?
411
00:17:10,444 --> 00:17:12,015
No catch.
412
00:17:12,039 --> 00:17:15,464
It's just, someone made me realize that
while money is important,
413
00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:17,301
it's not as important
414
00:17:17,368 --> 00:17:19,574
- as friendship.
- Aw.
415
00:17:19,641 --> 00:17:21,009
I had all the TV time in the world,
416
00:17:21,076 --> 00:17:23,248
I just didn't have anyone
to share it with.
417
00:17:23,315 --> 00:17:25,653
Alberta...
418
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,858
I believe tonight's pick is yours.
419
00:17:27,924 --> 00:17:31,968
Aquaman. Then, if there's time,
select scenes from Game of Thrones.
420
00:17:31,992 --> 00:17:34,029
And you know the ones I'm talkin' about.
421
00:17:34,055 --> 00:17:35,959
Have a seat.
422
00:17:36,026 --> 00:17:38,565
Proud of you for learning the
right lesson, buddy. (SIGHS)
423
00:17:38,632 --> 00:17:41,270
Alberta, I'll give you 200 back
rubs to watch Bodices & Barons.
424
00:17:41,337 --> 00:17:43,075
- Wait, what?
- Sold.
425
00:17:43,141 --> 00:17:45,138
Hetty, you didn't mean any
of that stuff you said to me?
426
00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:47,034
You just tricked me into
giving up my monopoly?
427
00:17:47,058 --> 00:17:48,111
That's right.
428
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,195
And what about your speech?
429
00:17:49,404 --> 00:17:51,667
You said that friendship
was more important than wealth.
430
00:17:51,692 --> 00:17:54,333
No, I said you need
to ask yourself that.
431
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,971
I have and I know the answer.
It's wealth.
432
00:17:57,038 --> 00:17:58,742
(CHUCKLES) Oh, it's wealth.
433
00:17:58,808 --> 00:18:00,246
That's why she's the top dog.
434
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:02,049
There's no low she won't stoop to.
435
00:18:02,116 --> 00:18:05,723
It's time to watch the baron
glance at his mistress.
436
00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:09,132
The glancing, oh,
how I love the glancing.
437
00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:12,773
ISAAC: Thor, wait...
438
00:18:12,798 --> 00:18:14,636
Bjorn! Are you there?
439
00:18:14,743 --> 00:18:16,915
Yes, I'm here!
440
00:18:16,982 --> 00:18:20,123
Thor, please don't say
something you can't take back.
441
00:18:20,190 --> 00:18:23,497
Bjorn! I have something to tell you!
442
00:18:23,564 --> 00:18:25,836
What is it, Father?
443
00:18:26,904 --> 00:18:28,375
(DISTANTLY): Hello?
444
00:18:28,442 --> 00:18:29,810
Father?
445
00:18:30,913 --> 00:18:34,153
Come on, you can do it.
446
00:18:34,221 --> 00:18:37,126
Say, "Father."
447
00:18:37,461 --> 00:18:39,598
BJORN: Hello?
448
00:18:39,665 --> 00:18:41,569
Father!
449
00:18:41,636 --> 00:18:43,875
Are you still there?
450
00:18:45,215 --> 00:18:47,124
I am here, son!
451
00:18:47,148 --> 00:18:49,721
BJORN: What did you want to say?
452
00:18:49,788 --> 00:18:51,859
That...
453
00:18:51,925 --> 00:18:54,029
I love you!
454
00:18:54,097 --> 00:18:56,301
Thank you for coming to find me!
455
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,905
I love you, too!
456
00:18:59,675 --> 00:19:01,113
Okay!
457
00:19:01,882 --> 00:19:03,519
Good talk!
458
00:19:03,585 --> 00:19:05,690
Yes. Yes, great talk!
459
00:19:05,714 --> 00:19:06,800
(LAUGHS MERRILY)
460
00:19:06,826 --> 00:19:09,164
That's... That's it?
461
00:19:09,765 --> 00:19:11,769
- We gotta get out of here.
- Jay,
462
00:19:11,836 --> 00:19:13,207
the sweetest thing happened.
463
00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:15,679
Yeah? Do you think we can
climb out that window,
464
00:19:15,746 --> 00:19:16,914
or should we just jump?
465
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:18,049
Can't we just go down the stairs
466
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:19,452
and walk out the front door?
467
00:19:19,519 --> 00:19:21,057
Okay.
468
00:19:21,124 --> 00:19:23,461
Take my hand, close your eyes
469
00:19:23,528 --> 00:19:26,287
and whatever you do,
don't touch anything.
470
00:19:32,517 --> 00:19:34,509
JAY: Oh. We got an
email from the Farnsbys.
471
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,076
Apparently, we've been invited
472
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:40,750
to their Christmas Toga Party this year.
473
00:19:40,817 --> 00:19:42,802
That is chilling.
474
00:19:42,869 --> 00:19:44,160
(CHUCKLES)
475
00:19:44,203 --> 00:19:45,913
Sam. Hello? (INHALES)
476
00:19:45,939 --> 00:19:47,560
Sorry, just a little distracted.
477
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,200
They steal silverware!
478
00:19:49,224 --> 00:19:51,740
- It's very important to know!
- Look, Thor.
479
00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:53,925
I think it's great you're
reconnecting with your son,
480
00:19:53,991 --> 00:19:56,705
but maybe you could do it
during daylight hours.
481
00:19:56,772 --> 00:19:58,096
Making up for lost time.
482
00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:00,844
You see, I realize
it is not Bjorn's fault
483
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,863
that he married Dane.
484
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:05,644
Children not born
with hate in their heart,
485
00:20:05,711 --> 00:20:09,352
they must be taught it and
I was not there to teach him.
486
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,800
(SIGHS)
487
00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:13,224
Night, babe.
488
00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:15,509
THORFINN: Now let's talk hygiene!
489
00:20:15,575 --> 00:20:17,395
Danes, very dirty!
490
00:20:17,461 --> 00:20:19,215
They never wash undercarriage!
491
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:24,155
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
35927
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