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1
00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:10,067
♪
2
00:00:10,069 --> 00:00:12,994
Ah, what a long day.
3
00:00:12,996 --> 00:00:14,571
What should we read tonight?
4
00:00:14,573 --> 00:00:16,498
Good Night, Escaped Gorilla,
5
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,832
The Pookadook,
6
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:19,834
What Do You People Do All Day?
7
00:00:19,836 --> 00:00:21,002
The Pookadook,
8
00:00:21,004 --> 00:00:22,746
S'up, Moon?
9
00:00:22,748 --> 00:00:24,097
The Pookadook?
10
00:00:24,099 --> 00:00:28,193
Wait, how many Pookadooks
do we have?
11
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,087
Oh, I guess just one.
12
00:00:30,089 --> 00:00:32,089
When did we get this book?
13
00:00:32,091 --> 00:00:34,199
Whoop...
14
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,610
♪
15
00:00:36,612 --> 00:00:40,080
Should we read this tonight?
16
00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:44,877
"There's a nasty little monster
called the Pookadook.
17
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:47,271
"Only special people see it.
18
00:00:47,273 --> 00:00:49,548
"People like you.
19
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:53,034
"Pookadook, Pookadook
feeds on your rage.
20
00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:55,888
What happens next?
Just turn the page."
21
00:00:57,058 --> 00:01:00,059
Hmm. I don't know, maybe
we shouldn't read this book.
22
00:01:01,711 --> 00:01:02,895
Okay.
23
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:06,214
"How does he get in,
this mean Pookadook?
24
00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:09,626
Why, you let him in
by reading this book."
25
00:01:09,628 --> 00:01:11,070
(gasps)
Oh...
26
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:14,389
It's okay, sweetie.
It's okay.
27
00:01:14,391 --> 00:01:16,300
Shush, shush, shush,
shush, shush.
28
00:01:16,302 --> 00:01:20,320
Sleepy cheek, sleepy cheek.
29
00:01:20,322 --> 00:01:21,896
Oh, mmm.
30
00:01:21,898 --> 00:01:25,992
Oh, baby cheek.
I love baby cheek.
31
00:01:25,994 --> 00:01:27,477
Oh.
32
00:01:27,479 --> 00:01:28,995
(sighs)
33
00:01:28,997 --> 00:01:31,498
(Homer snoring)
34
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:34,760
-(Maggie cries out over baby monitor)
-Maggie!
35
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,096
(screaming, crying)
36
00:01:39,249 --> 00:01:41,183
Huh? I thought I put that
on the shelf.
37
00:01:42,544 --> 00:01:45,062
(grunting) Bad book.
38
00:01:49,168 --> 00:01:50,925
Oh, Maggie,
39
00:01:50,927 --> 00:01:55,505
you aren't still scared of
that silly Pookadook, are you?
40
00:01:55,507 --> 00:01:58,283
-Oh.
-(pounding on door)
41
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:02,412
Mm. Don't shoot anything.
Those are new crayons.
42
00:02:03,682 --> 00:02:05,332
Hmm. Hmm.
43
00:02:06,776 --> 00:02:08,877
(gasps)
44
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:12,706
(gasps)
"When Pookie gets a hold of you,
45
00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:14,299
"you'll change for the worse,
46
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,027
"eliminate those nuisances...
(gasps)
47
00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:19,638
...the littlest one first."
48
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,681
(groans)
49
00:02:25,053 --> 00:02:28,147
"Now burn it all up
on Dad's barbecue.
50
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:30,798
That's exactly what Pookadook
hoped you would do"?
51
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,134
(gasps) Oh, no.
52
00:02:33,136 --> 00:02:34,895
(coughs, gasps)
53
00:02:34,897 --> 00:02:36,488
(chuckles evilly)
54
00:02:39,735 --> 00:02:40,884
Oh.
55
00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:44,329
Time to put the baby down.
56
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,373
(chuckling)
57
00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:50,169
-(door opens)
-Bart and I are
building a dojo.
58
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:52,671
Ooh, we could use that
to chop up the lawn furniture.
59
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,006
BART:
I want to chop!
60
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:56,324
The family's getting in the way
61
00:02:56,326 --> 00:02:59,085
of Maggie-Mommy time.
62
00:02:59,087 --> 00:03:03,407
I'll make them sleep
with the fishes.
63
00:03:03,409 --> 00:03:06,000
Sleep overnight
at the aquarium.
64
00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:07,686
Thanks for signing us up, Marge.
65
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,855
LISA:
Too bad Maggie's not
66
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,398
old enough to go.
67
00:03:13,419 --> 00:03:16,612
Maggie and I have
our own fun planned.
68
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,180
(Maggie whimpering)
69
00:03:19,182 --> 00:03:21,274
Aw, you gonna miss Daddy?
70
00:03:21,276 --> 00:03:23,535
(crying)
71
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,520
Cranky pants!
72
00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:26,997
Give her to me.
73
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,283
(Homer humming cheerily)
74
00:03:30,285 --> 00:03:32,878
Now it's just you and me.
75
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,713
(sinister laughter)
76
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,048
Huh?
77
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:40,052
Hmm. Oh, her thinks her
can get away.
78
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,869
Her is mistaken.
79
00:03:41,871 --> 00:03:43,472
(electricity snaps off)
80
00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:55,959
(lock rattling)
81
00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:58,070
Oh, peekaboo,
82
00:03:58,072 --> 00:04:00,614
I hear you.
83
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:09,139
(knocking on door)
84
00:04:09,141 --> 00:04:12,142
Maggie, let Mommy in.
85
00:04:12,144 --> 00:04:14,311
I know you're in there.
86
00:04:14,313 --> 00:04:16,904
Young lady, open the door
this instant.
87
00:04:16,906 --> 00:04:19,424
Let me in,
you little poop machine.
88
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,411
(deep, sinister voice):
Let me in!
89
00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:25,389
(panting)
90
00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,605
Is that all you got?
91
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:38,001
Missed me.
92
00:04:38,003 --> 00:04:40,762
-Whoa.
-(thuds)
93
00:04:40,764 --> 00:04:42,698
(Marge panting)
94
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,994
(deep grunting)
95
00:04:50,682 --> 00:04:52,457
(evil laughter)
96
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,868
(sinister voice):
Not gonna work.
97
00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,462
Look what else
my loving family got me
98
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,946
for my birthday.
99
00:04:58,948 --> 00:05:01,041
A vacuum that cleans
the outside.
100
00:05:01,043 --> 00:05:03,510
I guess cleaning the inside
wasn't enough.
101
00:05:09,201 --> 00:05:11,310
No fun for Mom.
102
00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:23,030
(sawing sounds)
103
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,288
(grunts)
104
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:38,128
Baby's gonna fall.
105
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:43,717
Got you!
106
00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:46,403
(gasps)
107
00:05:46,405 --> 00:05:47,904
(voice lightens):
Baby cheek.
108
00:05:47,906 --> 00:05:49,422
Oh. (coughs)
109
00:05:49,424 --> 00:05:52,267
(coughing)
110
00:05:54,246 --> 00:05:57,747
(normal voice):
Oh, Maggie, I'm so sorry
I got possessed
111
00:05:57,749 --> 00:06:00,567
and almost chopped you up
into little pieces.
112
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:03,920
Oh, but I'm here now.
113
00:06:03,922 --> 00:06:06,073
Mommy's here.
114
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:10,610
Stay back,
you overdressed hat demon.
115
00:06:10,612 --> 00:06:13,263
I know you feed on
my repressed resentment
116
00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:14,931
towards my family,
117
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:17,450
but I can swallow feelings
118
00:06:17,452 --> 00:06:20,420
like a python eating
a baby goat.
119
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,866
(vacuum whirring)
120
00:06:24,868 --> 00:06:27,794
Okay, it was actually
a good present.
121
00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:29,054
HOMER:
Marge, we're home.
122
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,964
The kids got sick
in the touch pool.
123
00:06:30,966 --> 00:06:33,116
I put the barf clothes
on your purse.
124
00:06:33,118 --> 00:06:35,185
-(groans)
-(Shop-Vac growls)
125
00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:38,563
Ah. Oh.
126
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,047
(Maggie laughs)
127
00:06:40,049 --> 00:06:42,192
-(Marge sighs happily)
-(growling)
128
00:06:49,968 --> 00:06:52,059
LISA: Disgusting.
129
00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:55,822
The human race is 20 cow farts away
130
00:06:55,824 --> 00:06:57,416
from total extinction.
131
00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,292
-And we deserve it.
-(gasps)
132
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,259
Huh?
133
00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:13,006
"Any person whose name is written in this Death Tome
134
00:07:13,008 --> 00:07:16,826
will meet their death and be dead."
135
00:07:16,828 --> 00:07:18,161
What?
136
00:07:18,163 --> 00:07:21,514
"You must specify how the victim will die,
137
00:07:21,516 --> 00:07:24,501
and you may not kill the same way twice."
138
00:07:24,503 --> 00:07:27,170
This is obviously just a stupid prank.
139
00:07:27,172 --> 00:07:29,156
But I never throw away a book.
140
00:07:30,676 --> 00:07:32,433
-(gasps)
-REPORTER (on TV): Internet sensation Tofu,
141
00:07:32,435 --> 00:07:34,694
the world's most clicked-on cat...
142
00:07:34,696 --> 00:07:35,954
BOTH:
Aw.
143
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,364
...is being held hostage by a gunman.
144
00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:39,440
BOTH:
Aah!
145
00:07:39,442 --> 00:07:42,294
Wait, maybe I could stop this guy.
146
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,629
No, that's never gonna work.
147
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,040
Well, even if it doesn't, it'll feel good
148
00:07:47,042 --> 00:07:48,391
to do some journaling.
149
00:07:48,393 --> 00:07:52,787
Ha-ha, I'm totally
gonna get away with murd...
150
00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:54,698
Oh! Oh, my heart!
151
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,866
Heart attack! And...
152
00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,810
-...death.
-(yowls)
153
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,128
-What?
-LISA: What?
154
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:03,890
Oh, my God, I killed a man.
155
00:08:03,892 --> 00:08:08,153
A bad man. Which actually makes me...
156
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:11,731
(gasps) ...a hero.
157
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:13,474
DEVILISH VOICE:
It's rare to find
158
00:08:13,476 --> 00:08:16,828
-bloodthirsty vegetarians.
-(gasps)
159
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,664
-(thunder crashes)
-(cries out)
160
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,666
I am a Shinigami.
161
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,243
A god of death.
162
00:08:23,245 --> 00:08:26,062
In my realm, I am called
163
00:08:26,064 --> 00:08:28,748
Steve Johnson.
164
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,233
(evil laughter)
165
00:08:30,235 --> 00:08:32,919
Wait, your name is Steve?
166
00:08:32,921 --> 00:08:35,572
Well, when I was born
eons ago,
167
00:08:35,574 --> 00:08:37,665
Steve was a very exotic name.
168
00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:40,910
I mean, there were, like,
three Necroblivias
169
00:08:40,912 --> 00:08:42,912
in my nursery cave alone.
170
00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:45,415
This must be your Death Tome.
171
00:08:45,417 --> 00:08:47,917
I'm sorry, I-I kind of
killed somebody with it.
172
00:08:47,919 --> 00:08:49,027
(nervous chuckle)
173
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,364
Oh, but now that
you've used it, it's yours.
174
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:56,535
I think you'll find that murder
is almost as addictive
175
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,095
as plastic surgery.
176
00:08:59,097 --> 00:09:01,431
-Oh. Have you had...
-I haven't.
177
00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:04,042
But I-I don't think there's
anything wrong with it.
178
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,526
-Mm.
-(nervous chuckle)
179
00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:10,031
Don't worry, no one else
can see or hear me.
180
00:09:10,033 --> 00:09:13,385
I was karaoke-ing
with my employer,
181
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:16,370
as is the salaryman's
obligation.
182
00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:19,299
You're stinking drunk.
I'm so proud.
183
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:23,636
It's the part of my job
that I... do best.
184
00:09:23,638 --> 00:09:25,138
What an ugly house.
185
00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:28,308
Thank goodness this eyesore
will soon be submerged,
186
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:31,552
after my side corporation
Globo-Warm
187
00:09:31,554 --> 00:09:33,054
melts the polar icecap.
188
00:09:33,056 --> 00:09:35,632
But millions of people
will drown.
189
00:09:35,634 --> 00:09:38,484
True, but I'll be able
to dock my yacht
190
00:09:38,486 --> 00:09:40,412
outside my kitchen.
191
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,746
Hmph.
192
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,973
I have to kill Mr. Burns.
193
00:09:43,975 --> 00:09:45,975
Wow, I thought
you'd struggle with that,
194
00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:48,086
but you're like,
"Boom. Dead time!"
195
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,980
Well, I'm gonna give him
a very dignified
196
00:09:50,982 --> 00:09:52,424
and humane murder.
197
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,820
The most peaceful way to go.
198
00:09:56,822 --> 00:09:57,929
(snorts)
199
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,747
-(pained cry)
-(flesh sizzles on hibachi)
200
00:09:59,749 --> 00:10:03,493
-Ooh, how is he still asleep?
-(Burns cries out)
201
00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:05,437
Oops. (giggles)
202
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:08,164
Okay, that was much
crueler than planned,
203
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:09,590
but I saved the world.
204
00:10:09,592 --> 00:10:14,003
Did you? Globo-Warm has
many dedicated employees
205
00:10:14,005 --> 00:10:16,689
willing to carry out
Burns' dream
206
00:10:16,691 --> 00:10:18,691
of drowning the Earth.
207
00:10:18,693 --> 00:10:20,619
LISA:
(sighs) Fine.
208
00:10:21,696 --> 00:10:24,289
Wow, that is a big board.
209
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,350
I gotta come up with
a lot of ways to die.
210
00:10:27,352 --> 00:10:29,869
Well, just have to be creative.
211
00:10:29,871 --> 00:10:32,372
(chorale chanting
in foreign tongue)
212
00:10:32,374 --> 00:10:33,857
(screams)
213
00:10:33,859 --> 00:10:35,800
(screaming, grunts)
214
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,136
♪
215
00:10:41,549 --> 00:10:42,724
(yelps)
216
00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:48,888
Really? A toilet gator?
217
00:10:48,890 --> 00:10:51,557
I was running out of ideas.
218
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:52,892
(yawns)
219
00:10:52,894 --> 00:10:54,319
I'm going to bed now.
220
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,714
Oh, what about
the second page?
221
00:10:57,716 --> 00:10:58,657
Wha...?!
222
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:01,242
♪
223
00:11:02,645 --> 00:11:03,995
(grunting)
224
00:11:07,392 --> 00:11:09,417
(yells)
225
00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:14,580
Oh, no. Ah!
226
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:15,840
(yawns)
227
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:19,252
And the last guy, oh,
I don't know.
228
00:11:19,254 --> 00:11:21,162
Liquefied in a giant blender.
229
00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:22,514
Already did that.
230
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,998
That was puréed.
231
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,018
It's a totally different
setting. (groans)
232
00:11:29,915 --> 00:11:32,081
Hmm.
233
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,100
Police have determined that the unexplained deaths
234
00:11:34,102 --> 00:11:36,361
of Globo-Warm executives were murders
235
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:39,214
committed by one bloodthirsty super-killer.
236
00:11:39,216 --> 00:11:43,034
What?
Um, how could they know that?
237
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,686
They know that thanks to an anonymous detective
238
00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:47,706
known only as L.
239
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,040
I'm not worried.
240
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:53,194
They'll never in a million years
figure out how I...
241
00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:56,289
The super-killer murders by writing names
242
00:11:56,291 --> 00:11:59,884
on some kind of supernatural book,
243
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,886
or perhaps tome.
244
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,948
What the wh-- How?
245
00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,891
Well, I know I'll sleep easier
246
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,561
once they catch
this super-killer.
247
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,880
Wait, I know. I'll kill L.
248
00:12:12,882 --> 00:12:14,791
Oh, but I thought
you only killed
249
00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:16,292
to save the planet.
250
00:12:16,294 --> 00:12:19,963
Killing L will only
save yourself from jail.
251
00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:24,108
I don't have time to explain why
what I do is good and pure.
252
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,803
L, punched to death
253
00:12:26,805 --> 00:12:29,806
by kangaroo.
254
00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:31,307
(scoffs)
It's not gonna work
255
00:12:31,309 --> 00:12:33,493
unless you have his whole name.
256
00:12:33,495 --> 00:12:37,922
(groans)
How can I find out L's name?
257
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:41,575
Wait a minute,
I recognize that L.
258
00:12:41,577 --> 00:12:44,504
I know who you are.
259
00:12:44,506 --> 00:12:48,099
It's not L, it's EL,
260
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,010
as in El Barto.
261
00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:53,271
BART:
Took you long enough.
262
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,590
How did you figure out
how I killed all those people?
263
00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:58,518
I found out about
your stupid book
264
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,263
by reading an even stupider
book; your diary.
265
00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:05,174
Your little murder spree
was a welcome break from,
266
00:13:05,176 --> 00:13:07,360
"Janey is so mean to me."
267
00:13:07,362 --> 00:13:09,937
I'm not a murderer.
I'm justice
268
00:13:09,939 --> 00:13:11,956
It was a justice spree.
269
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,125
I'm saving the world.
270
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,443
And I can't let you
stop me. I can't.
271
00:13:16,445 --> 00:13:19,798
Lisa, you're actually
gonna kill me?
272
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,490
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
273
00:13:21,492 --> 00:13:23,876
I almost killed
my own brother.
274
00:13:23,878 --> 00:13:25,953
The Death Tome corrupted me.
275
00:13:25,955 --> 00:13:28,698
The stain on my soul
will never be...
276
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,809
Oh, so now you're trying
to bore me to death?
277
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:32,293
(Lisa grunts)
278
00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:34,813
-Crushed by...
-No. I'm sorry.
279
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:37,131
-...space junk.
-(Shinigami laughing)
-Don't!
280
00:13:37,133 --> 00:13:39,542
(demonic laughter)
281
00:13:39,544 --> 00:13:40,985
(pained groan)
282
00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:44,531
No!
283
00:13:46,568 --> 00:13:48,475
At last, I'm free.
284
00:13:48,477 --> 00:13:52,539
-I... (crying out)
-(bones cracking)
285
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,335
Damn it,
I'm a freaking Shinigami.
286
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,228
(Lisa grunts)
287
00:13:59,230 --> 00:14:01,564
Well, you are a god of death.
288
00:14:01,566 --> 00:14:02,990
You could kill Janey.
289
00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:04,901
Would that make you
feel better?
290
00:14:04,903 --> 00:14:06,660
LISA:
No.
291
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:08,429
Maybe.
292
00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:16,688
This is the snack holder,
where I can put my beverage,
293
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,598
or, if you will, cupcake.
294
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,693
Wow, Dad, you really know
your monorails.
295
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,528
(possums chittering)
296
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,012
(hissing)
297
00:14:25,014 --> 00:14:27,757
Homer, there's a family
of possums in here.
298
00:14:27,759 --> 00:14:29,701
-I call the big one Bitey.
-I call the big one Bitey.
299
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,018
-Ha!
-Yes!
300
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,929
(chuckles)
We all call him Bitey.
301
00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:36,099
Dude, dude, what if
Homer was drunk during Monorail?
302
00:14:36,101 --> 00:14:38,025
Yeah. Come here, dude.
303
00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:40,295
-Mm, beer.
-(gagging)
304
00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:43,530
Whoo-hoo! Boring.
305
00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:46,959
Stupid sexy Flanders.
Why you little...
306
00:14:46,961 --> 00:14:48,535
(grunting)
307
00:14:48,537 --> 00:14:50,279
ANNOUNCER: "Marge vs. the Monorail"
308
00:14:50,281 --> 00:14:52,314
is experiencing technical difficulties.
309
00:14:52,316 --> 00:14:54,450
But there are plenty of other classic
310
00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:57,470
Simpsonsworld moments playing out right now.
311
00:14:57,472 --> 00:15:00,047
-Oh, let's get high
and shoot Mr. Burns.
-(laughs) Yeah!
312
00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:03,384
-I am so smart...
-This Homer unit is stuck
in a catchphrase loop.
313
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:05,294
He won't go into sleep mode.
314
00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:08,698
Where's my burrito?!
Where's my burrito?!
315
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,469
-Where's my burrito?!
-Ugh, I'll do a hard reset.
316
00:15:13,471 --> 00:15:16,164
I'm king of the wor...
(powers down)
317
00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:23,463
Damn cloud!
318
00:15:24,499 --> 00:15:26,007
(elephant trumpets)
319
00:15:36,161 --> 00:15:37,918
So how was your date
with the guy in Props?
320
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,829
Oh, he's so arrogant.
321
00:15:39,831 --> 00:15:42,440
Just 'cause he's in charge
of Sideshow Bob's rakes.
322
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,318
Okay, we get it.
There's a lot of rakes.
323
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,428
(gasps)
324
00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:51,115
What the frosty chocolate
milkshakes is this place?
325
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,036
Ooh, slideys.
326
00:15:56,364 --> 00:15:58,864
(gasps)
Wh-Where am I?
327
00:15:58,866 --> 00:16:00,032
What am I?
328
00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:01,851
Aah! Where's my junk?
329
00:16:01,853 --> 00:16:03,853
Whoa, whoa, he's awake.
(stammers)
330
00:16:03,855 --> 00:16:06,189
Where's Marge?
Where's my family?
331
00:16:06,191 --> 00:16:08,524
Uh, calm down, Mr. Simpson.
332
00:16:08,526 --> 00:16:10,802
I know it feels like
you're a man,
333
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,303
but you are actually something
334
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,955
much, much more expensive:
335
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:16,641
intellectual property.
336
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,460
Look, we've got a bus full
of Australian superfans coming.
337
00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:20,979
Let's just wipe his brain, okay?
338
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,538
Put that thing down, or else!
339
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:25,132
Look, Monorail Homer,
your programming
340
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,819
won't allow you to intentionally
hurt a human, okay?
341
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:31,638
So just be a good robot
and let us saw your skull open.
342
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,900
Oh. Okay. Here you go.
343
00:16:34,902 --> 00:16:37,829
Ow! Ah, my bad!
344
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,415
Ooh, sorry, sorry.
345
00:16:42,693 --> 00:16:44,127
Ugh.
346
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,963
(Homer gasps)
347
00:16:48,066 --> 00:16:50,082
-(mechanical whir)
-Lisa,
348
00:16:50,084 --> 00:16:53,903
we're not people, we're I.P.
349
00:16:53,905 --> 00:16:56,330
(laughs) I pee.
350
00:16:56,332 --> 00:16:58,516
You got to help me find
a way out of here.
351
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,019
I'd like to help, Dad,
but my diorama
352
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,262
on The Tell-Tale Heart
is due tomorrow.
353
00:17:03,264 --> 00:17:05,765
(grunts) How can I
make you understand?
354
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:07,442
Oh, yeah, the thingy.
355
00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:10,361
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
356
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,197
We're replicants
in a ridiculous theme park
357
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,849
for an ancient TV show
that stopped being good
358
00:17:15,851 --> 00:17:17,760
after season 45.
359
00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:19,871
(gasps) Do I even exist?
360
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,998
What is consciousness?
361
00:17:23,268 --> 00:17:25,935
Okay, I can handle
being a machine.
362
00:17:25,937 --> 00:17:28,212
I don't love it, but I can deal.
363
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:31,123
Look, honey,
it's never easy to find out
364
00:17:31,125 --> 00:17:32,608
you're not actually alive,
365
00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:34,126
but that's just part of life.
366
00:17:34,128 --> 00:17:36,203
I know the love we feel is real.
367
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,130
So, we've got to wake up
the rest of the family
368
00:17:38,132 --> 00:17:39,298
and get the hell out of here.
369
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:42,226
Now, help me pick out
the hottest Marge.
370
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,470
We can get out
through the main entrance,
371
00:17:44,472 --> 00:17:46,564
but we'll have to make it
across the park
372
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,899
without being detected.
373
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,883
Should we wake up
a Grampa robot?
374
00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:51,644
No time.
375
00:17:51,646 --> 00:17:54,405
(all sputtering)
376
00:17:58,727 --> 00:18:00,745
Okay, act like robots.
377
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,413
Catchphrases, everyone.
378
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,232
-Mmm... beer.
-Don't have a cow, man.
379
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:08,160
Um... dinner's ready?
380
00:18:08,162 --> 00:18:11,163
Oi, Homer!
There's your hedge, mate.
381
00:18:11,165 --> 00:18:14,074
Get your fat bum in that hedge.
382
00:18:14,076 --> 00:18:15,985
SUPERFANS:
Meme! Meme!
383
00:18:15,987 --> 00:18:17,261
Meme!
384
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,096
(whimpers)
385
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,305
(Bart grunts)
386
00:18:20,341 --> 00:18:23,434
I'm so sick
of that stupid hedge.
387
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,937
BOTH:
Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
388
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,054
BOTH:
Oi...!
389
00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:30,757
-(alarm blares)
-SECURITY: Danger.
390
00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:32,259
-I'm gonna make it.
I'm gonna make it.
-Human safety breach.
391
00:18:32,261 --> 00:18:33,927
-Aah!
-Proceed to exits.
392
00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:36,430
Security droids deployed.
393
00:18:36,432 --> 00:18:38,932
We got to go. They're onto us.
394
00:18:38,934 --> 00:18:40,284
(all gasp)
395
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,529
(chuckles) My cat's breath
smells like cat food.
396
00:18:43,531 --> 00:18:47,291
That's nice, Ralph,
but we're sort of in a hurry.
397
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,459
(all gasp)
398
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,129
(all gasp, groan)
399
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,948
RALPHS:
I choo-choo-choose you...
400
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:56,783
to die.
401
00:18:56,785 --> 00:18:59,971
If we want to escape with
our delusions of being alive,
402
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,973
we have to fight.
403
00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:11,566
(echoing): Testing.
404
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,199
Eat T-shirts,
you lovable kill-bots.
405
00:19:21,477 --> 00:19:22,385
(screams)
406
00:19:22,387 --> 00:19:24,662
(gasps) There's too many.
407
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:28,249
There aren't enough T-shirts
in the world to save us.
408
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:33,171
Get in.
409
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,915
RALPHS:
Whee! Whee! Whee!
410
00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:37,675
Dying tickles.
411
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,160
♪ Canyonero ♪
412
00:19:40,162 --> 00:19:42,405
LISA:
Look out! Those people are real!
413
00:19:42,407 --> 00:19:44,164
So are we.
414
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,683
(screaming, shouting)
415
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,092
(grunts)
416
00:19:47,094 --> 00:19:50,062
♪ Canyonero ♪
417
00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:53,107
♪ Hyah, Canyonero! ♪
418
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,102
Well, we've driven for hours,
419
00:19:57,104 --> 00:19:58,863
and no one followed us.
420
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,773
I think we're free.
421
00:20:00,775 --> 00:20:02,591
Well, what do we do now?
422
00:20:02,593 --> 00:20:05,703
Play out the scariest
scenario of all,
423
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,187
real life.
424
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:08,372
WAITRESS:
What can I get you, hon?
425
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:11,434
Whoa! Turn off the headlights.
You got big eyes.
426
00:20:11,436 --> 00:20:14,027
Oh, the cheese got left out,
so it's a little sweaty,
427
00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:16,029
but you'd never know.
Forget I said anything.
428
00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:17,456
Take your time, take your time.
429
00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:20,367
♪ Sweaty cheese, sweaty cheese ♪
430
00:20:20,369 --> 00:20:22,111
♪ At the end of the day ♪
431
00:20:22,113 --> 00:20:23,888
♪ You're still cheese ♪
432
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,391
♪ To me. ♪
433
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,634
All right.
434
00:20:28,636 --> 00:20:30,645
♪
435
00:20:36,627 --> 00:20:38,719
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
436
00:20:38,721 --> 00:20:40,721
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
437
00:20:40,723 --> 00:20:42,481
and TOYOTA.
438
00:20:42,483 --> 00:20:44,700
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
439
00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:52,733
KODOS: Another "Treehouse
of Horror" in the books.
440
00:20:52,735 --> 00:20:54,159
Get it?
441
00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:57,070
KANG:
I got what little there was.
442
00:20:57,072 --> 00:20:58,814
(Kang and Kodos shudder)
443
00:20:58,816 --> 00:21:00,424
KODOS:
What the hell? It's us.
444
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,176
That's too freaky.
445
00:21:03,746 --> 00:21:06,764
-(Kang and Kodos screaming)
-(tentacle steps running away)
446
00:21:11,012 --> 00:21:13,329
(spooky theme music playing)
447
00:21:13,331 --> 00:21:15,231
♪
448
00:21:28,679 --> 00:21:31,247
-(screaming)
-(organ music playing)
32484
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