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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,467 --> 00:00:06,833 L'HAL L'NAI SHALL PASS OVER, 2 00:00:06,867 --> 00:00:10,265 AND MAY SENOR L. RON HUBBARD WATCH OVER US ALL. 3 00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:11,532 AMEN. 4 00:00:11,566 --> 00:00:12,932 AMEN! 5 00:00:12,967 --> 00:00:15,065 [SNIFFS] OOH, GROSS! 6 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:17,265 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL? 7 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:18,732 [SNIFFS] 8 00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:23,766 THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS THE SWEET PUNGENT AROMA OF DOO-DOO FECES. 9 00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:31,199 HI, GUYS. WHAT'S GOING ON? 10 00:00:31,233 --> 00:00:33,865 WOOLDOOR, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU HIDING? 11 00:00:33,899 --> 00:00:35,799 UM, NOTHING. 12 00:00:35,833 --> 00:00:37,232 AHEM. 13 00:00:37,266 --> 00:00:38,665 OOH! 14 00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:40,365 LIVE ACTION POO. 15 00:00:41,934 --> 00:00:44,099 WOOLDOOR, HAVE YOU BEEN SNEAKING OFF 16 00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:46,265 TO THE LIVE ACTION FOREST AGAIN? 17 00:00:46,299 --> 00:00:48,265 I, UH, WELL, UH, BROUGHT IT HOME 18 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:50,565 'CAUSE I THOUGHT THEY'D MAKE NICE SLIPPERS. 19 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:51,632 [SQUISH] 20 00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:56,965 IT'S AN HONEST MISTAKE. 21 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:01,065 WOOLDOOR, YOU BEST STAY AWAY FROM THE LIVE ACTION FOREST. 22 00:01:01,099 --> 00:01:02,299 IT'S DANGEROUS. 23 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:05,132 NOW, CLEAN UP THIS CRAP. 24 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:07,132 [DOOR CLOSES] 25 00:01:07,166 --> 00:01:09,800 THEY ALMOST FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU. 26 00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:12,466 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO IF I LOST YOU. 27 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,766 YOU UNDERSTAND ME BETTER THAN ANYONE, 28 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,666 EVEN THE FIRE FAIRY. 29 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:19,065 BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE COOL FIRES 30 00:01:19,099 --> 00:01:21,332 WE STARTED TOGETHER, WOOLDOOR? 31 00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:40,866 OOH, YOU GOT TROUBLE. 32 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:43,866 UH, GUYS, I NEED A FAVOR. 33 00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:47,198 MY TEN-YEAR CAMP REUNION IS COMING UP. 34 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,465 WHAT KIND OF CAMP? FAT CAMP? 35 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:54,699 YES. 36 00:01:58,166 --> 00:01:59,232 IT'S NOT FUNNY. 37 00:01:59,267 --> 00:02:02,065 FAT CAMP WAS THE SADDEST, DARKEST CHAPTER 38 00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:05,365 IN THE TRAGIC COOKBOOK THAT IS MY LIFE. 39 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,065 EVEN AT FAT CAMP, I DIDN'T FIT IT. 40 00:02:09,099 --> 00:02:11,298 I WASN'T FAT ENOUGH. 41 00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:14,499 THEN ONE DAY THE COOLEST AND FATTEST GIRLS IN CAMP 42 00:02:14,533 --> 00:02:15,965 SPOKE TO ME. 43 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,231 THEY ACTUALLY SPOKE TO ME. 44 00:02:18,266 --> 00:02:19,566 YOU'RE TOOT, RIGHT? 45 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,566 YES. 46 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,065 YOU SEEM PRETTY COOL, 47 00:02:22,099 --> 00:02:24,132 AND WE THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD GET YOUR HOPES UP 48 00:02:24,166 --> 00:02:27,532 BY INVITING YOU TO OUR TABLE AND THEN GIVING YOU A DEVASTATING WEDGIE, 49 00:02:27,566 --> 00:02:29,932 EMBARRASSING YOU IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CAMP. 50 00:02:29,967 --> 00:02:31,098 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 51 00:02:31,132 --> 00:02:33,966 REALLY? ME? I'D LOVE TO. 52 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,332 Toot's voice: NO ONE COULD HAVE PREDICTED WHAT HAPPENED NEXT. 53 00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:40,033 AH! 54 00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:41,532 AHH! 55 00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:43,933 [ALL LAUGHING] 56 00:02:43,966 --> 00:02:46,165 I HAD TO BE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL, 57 00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:48,965 BUT BY THE TIME I GOT THERE, IT WAS TOO LATE. 58 00:02:48,999 --> 00:02:53,399 THERE'S NOTHING ELSE WE CAN DO. WE HAVE TO AMPUTATE. 59 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,832 OH, MY GOD! AAH! 60 00:02:55,867 --> 00:02:59,766 I WASN'T CONFUSING THIS MEMORY WITH A TOM CRUISE MOVIE. 61 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,232 I RETURNED TO CAMP DISGRACED. 62 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,566 BABY KILLER! 63 00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:07,232 I DIDN'T DIE THAT SUMMER IN FAT CAMP. 64 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:12,699 [ALL LAUGHING] 65 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:16,499 BUT SOME DAYS, I WISH I'D HAD. 66 00:03:16,534 --> 00:03:19,198 SO WHICH ONE OF YOU GUYS WILL GO TO MY REUNION WITH ME 67 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,765 AND PRETEND TO BE MY DOCTOR HUSBAND? 68 00:03:21,799 --> 00:03:24,199 UH... UH-OH. OH. 69 00:03:27,866 --> 00:03:30,865 IS THAT HOW YOU TREAT A VETERAN? 70 00:03:30,899 --> 00:03:33,833 [SOBBING] 71 00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:36,632 GODDAMN IT! 72 00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:41,799 HEY, BUDDY! 73 00:03:42,133 --> 00:03:43,532 WHEE! 74 00:03:43,566 --> 00:03:46,332 I PUT SOME PEANUT BUTTER ON MY BALLS 75 00:03:46,367 --> 00:03:49,232 SO YOU'LL HAVE MORE INCENTIVE TO CHASE AFTER THEM 76 00:03:49,266 --> 00:03:51,799 WHEN I PUT THEM ON MY ASS. [SQUISH] 77 00:03:51,834 --> 00:03:55,633 UH, BUDDY? WHERE DID YOU GO? 78 00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:56,898 [CRASHING] 79 00:03:56,933 --> 00:03:58,099 SACRE BLEU! 80 00:03:58,133 --> 00:04:00,699 UH, BUDDY, BUDDY, BUDDY, BUDDY. UH-OH. 81 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,399 WOOLDOOR, IS THIS YOUR LIVE ACTION COW? 82 00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:05,999 [MOOS] 83 00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:07,499 HE FOLLOWED ME HOME. 84 00:04:07,533 --> 00:04:09,932 AND NOW HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. 85 00:04:09,966 --> 00:04:13,466 YOU CAN'T KEEP A LIVE ACTION COW IN THE HOUSE. 86 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,132 LOOK AT THE MESS HE MADE. 87 00:04:15,166 --> 00:04:16,298 [MOOS] 88 00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:17,666 [FARTS] 89 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:21,366 AND EVERYBODY KNOW LIVE ACTION AND ANIMATION DON'T MIX. 90 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,165 JUST LOOK AT MY FEET... 91 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,032 OR MY TEETH... 92 00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:28,733 OR XANDIR'S ASS. 93 00:04:32,801 --> 00:04:37,532 BUT LIVE ACTION COW IS MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. 94 00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:39,366 AREN'T YOU, WHISKERS? 95 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,465 [FARTS] 96 00:04:40,499 --> 00:04:42,465 OH, I LOVE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT. 97 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:43,899 I'M SORRY, WOOLDOOR, 98 00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:46,965 BUT WE'S TAKING THAT LIVE ACTION COW BACK WHERE HE BELONG-- 99 00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:51,399 THE LIVE ACTION FOREST. 100 00:04:51,434 --> 00:04:53,232 NO! PLEASE. 101 00:04:53,266 --> 00:04:55,198 NOW THAT HE'S GOT MY STINK ON HIM, 102 00:04:55,232 --> 00:04:57,165 THE OTHERS WON'T TAKE HIM BACK. 103 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,900 HE'S GOT MY STINK! 104 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,832 [SOBBING] 105 00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,532 MY LIFE SUCKS. 106 00:05:06,566 --> 00:05:09,032 NONE OF THE GUYS WILL GO TO MY REUNION WITH ME 107 00:05:09,066 --> 00:05:10,532 'CAUSE I'M TOO FAT. 108 00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:13,065 I WAS SO UPSET THAT I LOCKED MYSELF IN THE ATTIC 109 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:15,332 AND GORGED ON COTTON CANDY. 110 00:05:22,599 --> 00:05:25,332 BUT THEN I DISCOVERED SOMETHING. 111 00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:29,599 WOW! A BOOK OF CHEAT CODES. 112 00:05:29,634 --> 00:05:33,199 I CAN MAKE VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS DO ANYTHING! 113 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,833 LIKE SUPER JUMP. 114 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:39,332 UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, B, A, START. 115 00:05:39,366 --> 00:05:40,699 OH, HI, TOOT. 116 00:05:40,734 --> 00:05:44,065 WHOA. OR SUPER JUMP WITH BIG HEAD. 117 00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,065 OH, HEY, WHAT'S UP, TOOT? 118 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:50,199 OR NEWBORN XANDIR WITH SUPER JUMP AND SOFT SPOT ON HEAD. 119 00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:52,065 WAAH! 120 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:55,165 OR WHAT ABOUT...OOH! 121 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,632 ESCORT A FATTY TO HER 10-YEAR REUNION. 122 00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:00,132 WITH SUPER JUMP. 123 00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:03,499 MY LADY, I WOULD LIKE TO ESCORT YOU 124 00:06:03,533 --> 00:06:05,332 TO YOUR CAMP REUNION. 125 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,866 WHAT KIND OF CAMP? A FAT CAMP? 126 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,632 HA-HA-HA-HA! HA HA HEE HEE! 127 00:06:10,666 --> 00:06:13,299 OH. SURE. 128 00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:15,765 [SOBBING] 129 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,465 Wooldoor's voice: I TRIED TO FORGET LIVE ACTION COW, 130 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,466 BUT IT SEEMED EVERYWHERE I TURNED, 131 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,465 THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME OF HER. 132 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,599 AND NOW TO PERFORM THE CELEBRATORY TRUFFLE SHUFFLE. 133 00:06:25,633 --> 00:06:27,965 [HUMMING] 134 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,032 I REALIZED I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT LIVE ACTION COW. 135 00:06:33,066 --> 00:06:35,633 I'M COMING! 136 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,832 LIVE ACTION COW! 137 00:06:41,866 --> 00:06:44,232 LIVE ACTION COW! 138 00:06:44,266 --> 00:06:45,966 [SQUEAKING] 139 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,532 LIVE ACTION COW, IS THAT YOU? 140 00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:50,232 [SQUEAKING] OH, MY GOD! 141 00:06:50,266 --> 00:06:52,566 THE MOST FEARED OF ALL LIVE ACTION CREATURES-- 142 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,766 A LIVE ACTION SQUIRREL WITH BIG BALLS! 143 00:07:05,766 --> 00:07:07,666 WOOLDOOR, STAY STILL. 144 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:11,998 WE'S ALL IN GRAVE DANGER. DON'T MOVE. 145 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,232 [SNAPS] UH-OH. 146 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,265 LIVE ACTION SQUIRREL WITH BIG BALLS 147 00:07:15,299 --> 00:07:16,833 IS ABOUT TO ATTACK! 148 00:07:18,433 --> 00:07:20,733 AND THERE'S NO WAY TO FIGHT BACK. 149 00:07:20,767 --> 00:07:24,699 IT CLEARLY HAS NO VULNERABLE AREAS ON HIS WHOLE BODY. 150 00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:28,166 I CAN'T OUTRUN A SQUIRREL. 151 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,865 BUT IT WON'T MATTER AS LONG AS I CAN OUTRUN YOU. 152 00:07:30,899 --> 00:07:31,865 AH! 153 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,800 SAVE YOURSELVES. AAH-AAH-AAH-AAH! 154 00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:34,965 HERE IT COMES! 155 00:07:34,999 --> 00:07:36,632 All: AAH! 156 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,599 [MOOS] 157 00:07:40,633 --> 00:07:43,131 LOOK, GUYS. IT'S LIVE ACTION COW. 158 00:07:43,166 --> 00:07:46,533 ♪ DA DA DA DA, DA DA DA-DA-DA ♪ 159 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:49,699 LIVE ACTION COW IS SPRINGING INTO ACTION. 160 00:07:51,032 --> 00:07:53,065 LOOK OUT FOR THOSE BIG BALLS! 161 00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:57,332 CAREFUL, GIRL. YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THOSE BALLS HAVE BEEN. 162 00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:02,965 I'VE NEVER SEEN 2 ANIMALS FIGHT SO FEROCIOUSLY. 163 00:08:16,899 --> 00:08:19,433 OH, NO. LIVE ACTION COW IS HURT. 164 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:24,633 BUT LIVE ACTION COW ISN'T GIVING UP. 165 00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,832 HE'S FIGHTING BACK... 166 00:08:26,866 --> 00:08:28,232 AND WINNING. 167 00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:32,898 LOOK. LIVE ACTION SQUIRREL WITH THE BIG BALLS 168 00:08:32,932 --> 00:08:34,332 IS RUNNING AWAY. 169 00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:37,098 [PATTERING] 170 00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:39,165 MORE LIKE LIVE ACTION PUSSY 171 00:08:39,199 --> 00:08:40,532 WITH BIG BALLS. 172 00:08:42,132 --> 00:08:45,232 LIVE ACTION COW HELP SAVED THE DAY. 173 00:08:45,266 --> 00:08:46,732 YIPPEE! [CHEERING] 174 00:08:46,766 --> 00:08:48,732 THANK GOD I'M IN THE OTHER STORY. 175 00:08:56,033 --> 00:08:59,332 [SIGHS] THIS SURE BRINGS BACK A LOT OF MEMORIES, 176 00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:01,566 LIKE THE TIME I WON THAT TROPHY. 177 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:12,198 WELL, WELL, WELL, IF IT ISN'T TOOT BROWN STAIN. 178 00:09:15,132 --> 00:09:16,332 OH, TOOT. 179 00:09:16,367 --> 00:09:18,199 THERE YOU ARE, HONEY. 180 00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:21,399 JELLY DOUGHNUT BABES, MEET MY HUSBAND, 181 00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:23,165 DR. XANDIR. 182 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,166 [ALL GASP] 183 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,365 YOU BAGGED YOURSELF A ONE-CHIN? 184 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,766 NO FUCKING WAY. 185 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,165 THERE YOU ARE. MY LOVING WIFE. 186 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,599 MMM. 187 00:09:32,633 --> 00:09:36,299 [GRUNTING] 188 00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:37,665 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 189 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,066 THAT TOOT IS UP TO SOMETHING, 190 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,633 AND NOTHING IS GONNA STOP ME FROM FINDING OUT WHAT THAT-- 191 00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:43,632 CRUMB! 192 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,965 [ALL SHOUTING] 193 00:09:45,999 --> 00:09:48,665 Captain Hero's voice: LIVE ACTION COW HAD SAVED ALL OUR LIVES 194 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,266 AND EVERYONE LOVED HER, 195 00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,132 ESPECIALLY ME. 196 00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:55,532 I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF MEETING A WOMAN WITH 6 PENISES. 197 00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:57,366 YOU'RE SUCH A PRETTY COW. 198 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,366 WE LOVE YOU. NICE HORSEY. 199 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,865 THERE YOU GO, GIRL. GIRL? 200 00:10:01,899 --> 00:10:05,465 GUYS, LIVE ACTION COW'S ACTING REALLY WEIRD. 201 00:10:05,499 --> 00:10:06,799 LET ME SEE. 202 00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:08,799 RED EYES, FOAMING MOUTH. 203 00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:13,198 ZIKES! LIVE ACTION COW HAS RABBIS! 204 00:10:13,233 --> 00:10:14,865 IT'S PRONOUNCED "RABIES," 205 00:10:14,899 --> 00:10:17,965 ALTHOUGH THEY'RE BOTH INCURABLE DISEASES. 206 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,799 SHE MUST HAVE GOTTEN RABIES 207 00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:22,465 FROM LIVE ACTION SQUIRREL WITH BIG BALLS. 208 00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,265 WOOLDOOR, I'M SORRY, BABY, 209 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:27,565 BUT ONCE THEY START FOAMING AT THE MOUTH, THERE'S NO SAVING 'EM. 210 00:10:27,599 --> 00:10:30,766 THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS TAKE 'EM OUT BEHIND THE WOODSHED 211 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,699 AND PUT A BULLET THROUGH THEY SKULL. 212 00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:34,732 OH, LITTLE TIMMY. 213 00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:36,833 MOMMY MISSES YOU. 214 00:10:36,866 --> 00:10:40,598 YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO K-K-KILL LIVE ACTION COW? 215 00:10:40,633 --> 00:10:44,732 NO. YOU HAVE TO K-K-KILL LIVE ACTION COW. 216 00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:46,198 [CLICKS] 217 00:10:46,232 --> 00:10:48,966 I'D AIM BETWEEN THEM SWEET BROWN EYES AND COVER ITS MOUTH 218 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,198 SO HE CAN'T SAY, "MAMA, PLEASE, I AIN'T GOT NO RABIES. 219 00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:54,733 I WAS JUST BRUSHING MY TEETH LIKE YOU SAYS." 220 00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:57,298 UHHH! [GULPS] 221 00:10:57,333 --> 00:11:00,098 Man: HEY, HEY, HEY. 222 00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,033 DINNER IS NOW SERVED. 223 00:11:10,132 --> 00:11:11,665 OH, XANDIR. 224 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:14,633 LIKE A BOWL OF PLAIN OL' SALAD BOWL, 225 00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:17,498 YOU'VE TURNED A NIGHTMARE INTO A DREAM. 226 00:11:17,533 --> 00:11:21,066 I DON'T KNOW WHY I DECIDED TO COME HERE, 227 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:23,599 BUT I'M GLAD I DID. 228 00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:26,732 OH, YOU HAVE A LITTLE PIECE OF GOAT ON YOUR CHEEK. 229 00:11:26,766 --> 00:11:28,299 IS IT GONE? 230 00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:31,232 HERE. LET ME GET IT. 231 00:11:31,266 --> 00:11:33,032 THERE. NOW YOU'RE PERFECT. 232 00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,831 MM. MMM. 233 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,832 MMM! 234 00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:47,298 "THE LEGEND OF XANDIR CHEAT BOOK." 235 00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:48,733 OH. I KNEW IT. 236 00:12:07,299 --> 00:12:09,365 [GUNSHOT] 237 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,499 HUH? 238 00:12:10,534 --> 00:12:11,566 HMM. 239 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,199 All: AAH! 240 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,999 CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? 241 00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:20,066 IT'S TIME TO CROWN THIS YEAR'S KING AND QUEEN FATTY. 242 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,432 AND THE WINNERS ARE... 243 00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:24,232 XANDIR AND TOOT. 244 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,532 IN YOUR FACE YOU FAT FUCKERS! 245 00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:36,799 I CROWN THEE KING AND QUEEN FATTY-- 246 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,665 HUH? OH, NO! 247 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:39,899 [GASPS] 248 00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:42,298 EH, HONEY, IS SOMETHING WRONG? 249 00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:43,666 OH. AH. 250 00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:46,032 OHH! 251 00:12:49,633 --> 00:12:51,632 MY FELLOW FATTIES, 252 00:12:51,666 --> 00:12:55,099 BEFORE YOU BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW KING AND QUEEN, KNOW THIS. 253 00:12:55,133 --> 00:12:58,865 SHE'S BEEN CONTROLLING THIS SO-CALLED DOCTOR HUSBAND OF HERS 254 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,932 WITH THIS VIDEO GAME CHEAT BOOK. 255 00:13:00,966 --> 00:13:03,199 [ALL GASP] 256 00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:04,365 OBSERVE. 257 00:13:06,266 --> 00:13:09,366 Man: HOW DOES THAT HELP WITH VIDEO GAMES? 258 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,098 TOOT, HOW COULD YOU MANIPULATE ME LIKE THAT? 259 00:13:12,133 --> 00:13:15,265 I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND. MY FAT FRIEND. 260 00:13:15,299 --> 00:13:18,098 XANDIR, NO. WAIT! 261 00:13:18,133 --> 00:13:20,332 [ALL LAUGHING] 262 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:26,232 I DID IT! I SHOT LIVE ACTION COW. 263 00:13:26,266 --> 00:13:28,499 AND NOW SHE'S DEAD! 264 00:13:28,533 --> 00:13:30,332 [SOBBING] DEAD! 265 00:13:30,366 --> 00:13:33,832 SO TELL ME. DID YOU... [WHISPERING] 266 00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:36,399 WHAT? NO. WHY WOULD I DO THAT? 267 00:13:36,433 --> 00:13:37,898 SHE WAS MY FRIEND. 268 00:13:37,933 --> 00:13:41,765 SO SHE'S OUT THERE DEAD IN THE WOODS, 269 00:13:41,799 --> 00:13:44,032 HER MILKY, WHITE SUPPLE UDDER 270 00:13:44,066 --> 00:13:47,165 JUST LYING IN SOME REMOTE FOREST CLEARING? 271 00:13:47,199 --> 00:13:48,166 DIBS! 272 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,900 AH! 273 00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:52,599 WE INTERRUPT THIS SCENE WITH AN IMPORTANT PLOT TWIST UPDATE. 274 00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:55,332 A RABID LIVE ACTION COW IS ON A KILLING SPREE 275 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:57,099 THROUGHOUT THE CARTOON UNIVERSE. 276 00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:59,266 WE TAKE YOU LIVE TO SPRINGFIELD, CONNECTICUT. 277 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,232 AAH! AAH-AAH! 278 00:14:01,266 --> 00:14:02,865 THANK YOU, TOM. 279 00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:06,299 OUR POLICE SKETCH ARTIST HAS COME UP WITH THIS COMPOSITE OF THE MAD COW. 280 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,199 I'M SO SORRY. I COULDN'T DO IT. 281 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:14,198 IF YOU DIDN'T DO IT, THEN WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN BLOOD? 282 00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:15,899 FUNNY STORY, ACTUALLY. 283 00:14:15,933 --> 00:14:18,899 I HAD THE SHOTGUN AT THE LIVE ACTION COW'S FACE, 284 00:14:18,934 --> 00:14:21,532 BUT I LOVED HER TOO MUCH TO PULL THE TRIGGER. 285 00:14:21,566 --> 00:14:24,199 SO I JUST SHOT OFF INTO THE WOODS. 286 00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:27,832 AND IT TURNED OUT I HIT A GUY WHO WAS DRIVING A TRUCK, 287 00:14:27,866 --> 00:14:31,031 A TRUCK FILLED WITH BIRDS. 288 00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:37,199 I TRIED TO HELP THE POOR SCHMUCK, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE. 289 00:14:37,233 --> 00:14:40,265 TELL MY WIFE AND KIDS 290 00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,765 I LOVE 'EM. 291 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:42,899 AHH! 292 00:14:42,933 --> 00:14:45,033 I COULDN'T IGNORE THE MAN'S DYING WISH, 293 00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:47,699 SO I DID WHAT ANYONE WOULD DO. 294 00:14:47,733 --> 00:14:50,732 I GUTTED THE DEAD TRUCKER AND WORE HIS BODY AS A SUIT. 295 00:14:52,834 --> 00:14:54,799 HONEY, THANK GOD YOU'RE HOME. 296 00:14:54,833 --> 00:14:56,831 WE THOUGHT SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU. 297 00:14:58,933 --> 00:15:01,799 WHERE ARE THE BIRDS? 298 00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:03,931 I LOVE YOU, HONEY. 299 00:15:03,966 --> 00:15:06,432 I LOVE YOU, KIDS. 300 00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:07,632 UH-OH. 301 00:15:07,667 --> 00:15:09,499 AAH! AAH! 302 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:12,766 ANY KINDHEARTED CHRISTIAN WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME. 303 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,165 BE THAT AS IT MAY, 304 00:15:19,199 --> 00:15:22,165 YOUR LIVE ACTION COW IS ON A RABIES-INDUCED KILLING SPREE, 305 00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:23,666 AND WE GOT TO STOP HER. 306 00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:26,265 ALL RIGHT, GANG, LET'S GO. 307 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,832 WAIT! 308 00:15:27,866 --> 00:15:30,799 ♪ BUT I LOVE HER ♪ 309 00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:33,132 [SOBBING] 310 00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:38,865 PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME. 311 00:15:38,899 --> 00:15:41,265 I HAVE NEVER FELT SO USED. 312 00:15:41,299 --> 00:15:42,699 I'M SORRY. 313 00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,832 I KNOW. I'M THE WORST. I HAD TO USE A CHEAT BOOK 314 00:15:45,866 --> 00:15:48,532 JUST TO GET SOMEONE TO COME TO FAT CAMP WITH ME. 315 00:15:48,566 --> 00:15:51,232 I SUCK. 316 00:15:52,833 --> 00:15:54,532 NOBODY LOVES ME. 317 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:57,033 WELL, THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE, TOOT. 318 00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:59,899 I MEAN, JESUS PROBABLY LOVES YOU. 319 00:16:12,766 --> 00:16:15,032 WHAT ABOUT OUR KISS AT THE DANCE? 320 00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:17,699 THAT WAS BECAUSE OF THE CHEAT BOOK. 321 00:16:17,733 --> 00:16:20,299 BUT, TOOT, YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE CHEAT BOOK THEN. 322 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,965 [SNIFFLES] 323 00:16:21,999 --> 00:16:25,031 OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE RIGHT. 324 00:16:25,066 --> 00:16:28,132 SO YOU'RE ACTUALLY ATTRACTED TO ME? 325 00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:29,766 UM... 326 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,766 YEAH. I GUESS. 327 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,332 REALLY? 328 00:16:33,366 --> 00:16:36,766 SO YOU WOULD ACTUALLY STICK IT IN ME? 329 00:16:38,366 --> 00:16:39,832 UM... 330 00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:42,599 YEAH. I GUESS. 331 00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:44,799 OH, XANDIR. 332 00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:46,332 PROVE IT! 333 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:18,032 Foxxy's voice: LIVE ACTION COW WAS ON A RABIES-INDUCED KILLING SPREE, 334 00:17:18,066 --> 00:17:21,932 AND IT WAS UP TO US TO TRY AND STOP HER. 335 00:17:21,966 --> 00:17:22,799 Clara: WELL, THAT'S WHAT THEY GET 336 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,632 FOR CONSTANTLY HAVING A GAY OL' TIME. 337 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,599 OH, DAMN IT. WE HAVE TO STOP THIS CRAZY THING. 338 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:37,098 WHERE ARE WE? 339 00:17:37,132 --> 00:17:38,765 Foxxy: CHILD, THIS IS SOUTH PARK. 340 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,665 NOW, THIS PLACE IS FUNNY. 341 00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:43,632 I BET IF WE LIVED HERE, MORE PEOPLE WOULD WATCH. 342 00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:44,966 EVENTUALLY, THE TRAIL LED US 343 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,098 TO THE ONE PLACE WE NEVER EXPECTED. 344 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,866 MOO! 345 00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,232 HE CAME HOME. 346 00:17:50,266 --> 00:17:51,732 [CLICKING] 347 00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:57,931 TAKE AIM, MEN. 348 00:17:57,966 --> 00:17:59,665 WAIT. YOU MUSTN'T. 349 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,065 SHE'S MY FRIEND. 350 00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:02,466 NOW, SON, STEP ASIDE. 351 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,299 WE'RE GONNA KILL THAT COW IF WE HAVE TO SHOOT RIGHT THROUGH YOU. 352 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,132 FINE. GO AHEAD. 353 00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:07,298 FINE. WE WILL. 354 00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:08,266 THEN DO IT. 355 00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:09,365 I AM. - GO ON. 356 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:09,766 WE'RE GOING. 357 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:10,499 THEN DO IT. 358 00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:11,165 I'M DOING IT. - NO YOU'RE NOT. 359 00:18:11,199 --> 00:18:12,132 WATCH ME. - I AM WATCHING. 360 00:18:12,167 --> 00:18:12,932 OK. - I'M WAITING. 361 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:13,799 HERE IT IS. 362 00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:14,665 MORE LIKE HERE IT ISN'T. THAT WAS LAME. 363 00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:15,132 YOU'RE LAME. 364 00:18:15,166 --> 00:18:16,265 FIRE! UH-OH. 365 00:18:18,999 --> 00:18:20,298 GUYS, LOOK. 366 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:23,998 LIVE ACTION COW IS JUMPING IN FRONT OF WOOLDOOR IN SLOW MOTION. 367 00:18:24,033 --> 00:18:27,465 [SLOWLY] AAHHHHHH! 368 00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:31,332 LIVE ACTION COW! 369 00:18:33,099 --> 00:18:34,898 OH! [SNIFFLES] 370 00:18:34,932 --> 00:18:36,799 I LOVE YOU. 371 00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:38,832 I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU 372 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:41,699 AND ALL THE THINGS YOU GAVE ME-- 373 00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:45,132 LIVE ACTION MILK, LIVE ACTION CHEESE, 374 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:48,566 AND LIVE ACTION LOVE. 375 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,599 GOOD-BYE--OH, AND LIVE ACTION YOGURT. 376 00:18:51,633 --> 00:18:52,998 GOOD-BYE. 377 00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,699 ♪ DO YOU LIKE HOW ♪ 378 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:57,732 ♪ I SING A LOVE SONG? 379 00:18:57,766 --> 00:19:01,065 ♪ DO YOU LIKE VINCENT VAN GOGH? ♪ 380 00:19:03,133 --> 00:19:05,466 ♪ I LIKE TO WALK ♪ 381 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:08,432 ♪ THE STREETS AT MIDNIGHT ♪ 382 00:19:08,466 --> 00:19:10,733 ♪ I WANTED YOU ♪ 383 00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:12,165 ♪ TO KNOW ♪ 384 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,332 ♪ THAT I'M REALLY NOT LIKE THIS ♪ 385 00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:19,098 ♪ SO LOST AND IN QUESTION ♪ 386 00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:24,132 ♪ SO MUCH IS THEN LEFT UNSAID ♪ 387 00:19:28,199 --> 00:19:30,898 OH, WOOLDOOR, I'M SO SORRY. 388 00:19:30,933 --> 00:19:33,565 BUT I HOPE YOU LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON. 389 00:19:33,599 --> 00:19:34,833 I SURE HAVE. 390 00:19:34,867 --> 00:19:38,033 LOVING SOMEONE SOMETIMES MEANS SAYING GOOD-BYE 391 00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:41,132 AND THAT HELPING FAT COWS ONLY BRINGS MISERY. 392 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:45,866 AHHHHH. 393 00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:49,132 YOU FELT ALMOST AS GOOD INSIDE ME 394 00:19:49,166 --> 00:19:51,866 AS I DID INSIDE YOU. 395 00:19:51,901 --> 00:19:54,499 PLEASE DON'T TALK RIGHT NOW. 396 00:19:54,533 --> 00:19:58,098 SO DOES THIS MEAN WE'RE A COUPLE? 397 00:19:58,133 --> 00:19:59,931 NO. HELLO. I'M GAY. 398 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,799 BUT IF YOU WEREN'T? 399 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,232 OH, TOOT, OF COURSE NOT. 400 00:20:04,266 --> 00:20:06,932 BUT I'M YOUR FRIEND AND I CARE ABOUT YOU, 401 00:20:06,966 --> 00:20:09,031 SO I TOSSED YOU A MERCY FUCK. 402 00:20:09,066 --> 00:20:10,632 I'LL TAKE THAT. 403 00:20:10,666 --> 00:20:14,632 [GRUNTING] 404 00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:18,265 HEY HEY HEY GUYS, TOOT'S GETTIN' LAID. 405 00:20:18,299 --> 00:20:21,599 TOOT FOUND A THIN MINT WHO WILL BANG DOUBLE STUFFS? 406 00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:23,732 CHARGE!! 407 00:20:23,766 --> 00:20:27,433 AAHHH! 408 00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:31,832 ♪ SOME PEOPLE WAIT A LIFETIME ♪ 409 00:20:31,866 --> 00:20:34,399 ♪ FOR A MOMENT LIKE THIS ♪ 410 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,732 ♪ SOME PEOPLE WAIT FOREVER ♪ 411 00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:38,998 ♪ FOR ONE SPECIAL KISS ♪ 412 00:20:39,032 --> 00:20:41,332 DON'T PUT THAT IN THERE! 413 00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:43,965 JUST ONE FINGER! JUST ONE! 414 00:20:43,999 --> 00:20:46,632 OUCH! OW! OH! 415 00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:48,932 I'M DIRTY! 416 00:20:48,966 --> 00:20:52,966 DIRTY! NEVER TO BE CLEAN AGAIN! 417 00:20:54,099 --> 00:20:58,566 ♪ FOR A MOMENT LIKE THIS ♪ 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 28202

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