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00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:22,010
Candace!
Candace?
2
00:00:22,095 --> 00:00:25,501
Get down here! Now!
3
00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:29,258
Sam just left.
He is going to kill his father.
4
00:00:29,343 --> 00:00:31,268
- What did you say to him?
- He decided
5
00:00:31,353 --> 00:00:33,367
that killing his father
would make him better.
6
00:00:33,452 --> 00:00:34,469
Would it?
7
00:00:34,554 --> 00:00:36,647
Well, no, I don't think so.
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00:00:36,731 --> 00:00:38,416
He could come back here and...
9
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,020
Are you sure it won't work?
10
00:00:40,104 --> 00:00:45,330
Candace, I understand
that this man was brutal to you.
11
00:00:45,414 --> 00:00:47,768
But I'm supposed to care
what happens to him?
12
00:00:47,852 --> 00:00:51,126
Well... yes. Yes, a little.
13
00:01:06,924 --> 00:01:09,028
Can I come in?
14
00:01:21,854 --> 00:01:23,958
You hungry?
15
00:01:47,506 --> 00:01:49,892
I've been in this position
many times.
16
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:52,382
There's nothing you can do.
17
00:01:53,451 --> 00:01:57,425
I usually have a beer
and try to relax.
18
00:02:19,836 --> 00:02:21,456
Bathroom?
19
00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,811
Uh, around the corner.
20
00:03:03,390 --> 00:03:06,363
You think I'm some sort
of a monster, too.
21
00:03:08,801 --> 00:03:11,106
But I'm not.
22
00:03:11,873 --> 00:03:14,129
I'm like anybody else.
23
00:03:14,213 --> 00:03:18,870
When he's... out, like now...
24
00:03:18,954 --> 00:03:21,242
I'm so scared for him.
25
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:26,403
I'm so sad for
the life he's living.
26
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:36,156
But the families...
the people he does this to...
27
00:03:37,492 --> 00:03:40,147
I make up stories
in my head about them.
28
00:03:40,231 --> 00:03:42,751
I live it, in a way.
29
00:03:42,835 --> 00:03:46,759
I picture... them as babies,
30
00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:49,432
with their mothers holding them.
31
00:03:49,516 --> 00:03:53,056
Their fathers playing
with them on the floor.
32
00:03:55,494 --> 00:03:58,984
These poor men.
33
00:03:59,068 --> 00:04:01,523
But you won't call the police?
34
00:04:01,607 --> 00:04:07,185
Candace... you won't
save them from this?
35
00:04:09,256 --> 00:04:11,025
I can't.
36
00:04:12,762 --> 00:04:15,134
I cannot.
37
00:04:22,282 --> 00:04:23,417
God.
38
00:04:56,450 --> 00:04:59,956
Why did you used to hit me
so much when I was a kid?
39
00:05:06,002 --> 00:05:07,572
I don't know.
40
00:05:11,413 --> 00:05:16,122
How did it make you feel?
When you...?
41
00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:18,594
What?
42
00:05:20,732 --> 00:05:24,989
When you used to hit me
all the time.
43
00:05:25,073 --> 00:05:27,728
How did it make you feel?
44
00:05:27,812 --> 00:05:32,003
I don't know.
45
00:05:32,087 --> 00:05:34,726
Bad, I guess.
46
00:05:36,095 --> 00:05:38,216
You were a weird kid.
47
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:42,157
You couldn't follow rules,
you couldn't play games,
48
00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:45,080
you didn't have any friends.
49
00:05:45,848 --> 00:05:47,735
And your mother was
reading all her books,
50
00:05:47,819 --> 00:05:51,426
telling me it was all my fault
you were like that.
51
00:05:52,863 --> 00:05:55,401
Anyway, I'm sorry.
52
00:06:43,063 --> 00:06:45,801
My therapist said
not to kill you.
53
00:06:51,781 --> 00:06:53,417
And then I left.
54
00:06:54,953 --> 00:06:56,623
How do you feel?
55
00:06:58,527 --> 00:07:04,122
I was choking him and I could
feel him disappearing,
56
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,443
and I stopped.
57
00:07:08,114 --> 00:07:10,317
It was like I didn't want to.
58
00:07:11,687 --> 00:07:13,173
Why not?
59
00:07:13,257 --> 00:07:15,411
I-I don't know.
60
00:07:15,495 --> 00:07:18,717
I mean, he said he was sorry,
but fuck him, right?
61
00:07:18,801 --> 00:07:22,525
I just, I hate him so much
62
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,564
and usually that feeling,
it makes me want to
63
00:07:25,648 --> 00:07:28,203
go ahead and...
64
00:07:28,287 --> 00:07:31,576
But I was on top of him,
and I hated him.
65
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:37,922
And this time, that feeling,
it-it made me not want to.
66
00:07:38,006 --> 00:07:40,577
I...
67
00:07:41,713 --> 00:07:43,333
Hmm.
68
00:07:43,417 --> 00:07:46,088
Do you know why I didn't do it?
69
00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:50,481
What was different,
between your father,
70
00:07:50,565 --> 00:07:52,868
and everyone else
that you've hurt?
71
00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:56,192
I don't know.
72
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:59,215
What's the obvious difference?
73
00:08:00,451 --> 00:08:02,070
He hurt me the most.
74
00:08:02,154 --> 00:08:04,608
Okay, good. What else?
75
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:08,166
What's the most
obvious difference?
76
00:08:11,673 --> 00:08:13,793
He's my father.
77
00:08:13,877 --> 00:08:16,099
Right.
78
00:08:16,183 --> 00:08:18,303
Sam, you were on top of him...
79
00:08:18,387 --> 00:08:22,377
the one who treated you
like this.
80
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:26,385
If you killed him,
you'd be doing it, too.
81
00:08:26,469 --> 00:08:27,955
Acting just like him.
82
00:08:28,039 --> 00:08:29,792
Being just like him.
83
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,062
You hate that part of him.
84
00:08:31,146 --> 00:08:33,700
You are trying to be different.
85
00:08:33,784 --> 00:08:36,706
Trying to get rid of
that ugly part of him
86
00:08:36,790 --> 00:08:38,476
that lives inside of you.
87
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:43,286
You were right to
confront your father.
88
00:08:43,370 --> 00:08:45,390
But you didn't need to kill him.
89
00:08:45,474 --> 00:08:48,914
You needed to not kill him.
90
00:08:49,883 --> 00:08:53,272
This is it, Sam.
91
00:08:53,356 --> 00:08:54,609
It is a major breakthrough,
92
00:08:54,693 --> 00:08:58,083
even if you're not quite
feeling it yet.
93
00:08:58,167 --> 00:09:02,124
Not killing your father is...
94
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,461
You wanted to change.
95
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:08,253
Look at you. You've changed.
96
00:09:09,422 --> 00:09:12,228
How does it feel?
97
00:09:13,230 --> 00:09:15,551
Okay. I guess.
98
00:09:15,635 --> 00:09:18,523
It's everything that
we have been working towards.
99
00:09:18,607 --> 00:09:22,748
You-you stopped yourself.
This is extraordinary.
100
00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:29,779
Thanks.
101
00:09:32,736 --> 00:09:34,872
Hmm.
102
00:09:41,286 --> 00:09:43,139
I'm gonna go and
get some dinner.
103
00:09:43,223 --> 00:09:45,677
Uh, is there anything
in particular that you'd...
104
00:09:45,761 --> 00:09:48,149
I'm-I'm not really hungry
right now.
105
00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:51,773
I, um... Sam...
106
00:09:54,044 --> 00:09:57,885
It's time to let me go home.
107
00:09:59,021 --> 00:10:00,892
You're ready.
108
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,398
And I need to get back
to my family.
109
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:10,827
Sometimes therapists
talk with their patients
110
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,164
about their own lives.
111
00:10:12,248 --> 00:10:16,072
Because... well, you know,
we're all human beings.
112
00:10:16,156 --> 00:10:19,611
We all are struggling,
every last one of us.
113
00:10:19,695 --> 00:10:23,820
So... I want you to understand
a few things about me.
114
00:10:23,904 --> 00:10:26,625
You have been struggling
with your father.
115
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,630
And you just had
a big breakthrough.
116
00:10:28,714 --> 00:10:32,771
I'm in the middle of
a struggle with my son, too.
117
00:10:32,855 --> 00:10:36,863
And I need to get back to him
for our breakthrough.
118
00:10:37,632 --> 00:10:40,554
I did a lot of damage
to my son, too.
119
00:10:40,638 --> 00:10:43,493
I know it's not the same
as what your father did.
120
00:10:43,577 --> 00:10:49,839
But, Sam...
people don't deserve to die
121
00:10:49,923 --> 00:10:52,044
for falling short.
122
00:10:52,128 --> 00:10:54,214
No matter how short.
123
00:10:54,298 --> 00:10:59,342
We're all... broken vessels.
124
00:11:01,713 --> 00:11:04,519
I need to get back to my son.
125
00:11:06,223 --> 00:11:09,345
I want you to come see me in
my office for regular sessions,
126
00:11:09,429 --> 00:11:10,747
every day at first,
127
00:11:10,831 --> 00:11:14,505
but pretty soon we can
go to three days a week.
128
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,578
I have enormous faith in you.
129
00:11:19,315 --> 00:11:20,734
I also want to address
130
00:11:20,818 --> 00:11:23,039
your completely understandable
concern, I assume,
131
00:11:23,123 --> 00:11:25,744
that, if you let me go,
I will turn you in.
132
00:11:25,828 --> 00:11:30,087
As a therapist, I have a
legal and ethical obligation
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00:11:30,171 --> 00:11:32,058
to keep your confidence.
134
00:11:32,142 --> 00:11:35,030
Including any, um,
135
00:11:35,114 --> 00:11:37,401
crimes that you may have
committed in the past.
136
00:11:37,485 --> 00:11:42,344
It only gets thorny if you are
clearly going to kill somebody.
137
00:11:42,428 --> 00:11:43,980
And if, at some point
in the future,
138
00:11:44,064 --> 00:11:46,953
you have an overwhelming urge
to kill again,
139
00:11:47,037 --> 00:11:49,625
and you don't think
you'll be able to control it,
140
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,595
that will be the moment for us
141
00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,435
to find a therapeutic
institution for you.
142
00:11:54,519 --> 00:11:56,572
But I don't see that happening.
143
00:11:56,656 --> 00:12:01,315
I think that, by not
killing your father,
144
00:12:01,399 --> 00:12:04,488
you have demonstrated
great progress
145
00:12:04,572 --> 00:12:06,943
and likely permanent change.
146
00:12:08,714 --> 00:12:10,433
I'm really proud of you.
147
00:12:10,517 --> 00:12:14,141
I am proud of the progress
that you have made.
148
00:12:14,225 --> 00:12:19,034
And I think that you will
continue to make progress.
149
00:14:52,441 --> 00:14:54,545
I'll be right back.
150
00:15:38,534 --> 00:15:40,720
I get what you've been saying.
151
00:15:40,804 --> 00:15:42,624
I've been rushing you.
152
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,464
Because I want to get better.
153
00:15:45,548 --> 00:15:49,938
But therapy takes time.
154
00:15:50,022 --> 00:15:53,296
Years, you said, sometimes.
155
00:15:55,768 --> 00:15:59,825
So, I'll get a TV and...
156
00:15:59,909 --> 00:16:02,815
I can stock the fridge
with anything you want.
157
00:16:21,452 --> 00:16:23,873
It's a miracle that everyone
who was beaten like that
158
00:16:23,957 --> 00:16:26,279
doesn't become
a serial killer.
159
00:16:26,363 --> 00:16:29,151
Why wouldn't they,
after suffering like that?
160
00:16:29,235 --> 00:16:34,728
It's like an effort to
turn them into a serial killer
161
00:16:34,812 --> 00:16:37,101
that doesn't always work.
162
00:16:37,185 --> 00:16:39,538
That poor kid...
163
00:16:39,622 --> 00:16:42,076
with all of it...
164
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,452
he somehow managed
to not kill his father.
165
00:16:46,536 --> 00:16:49,491
Maybe this fucking therapy
is working after all.
166
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:54,000
We know this story.
He needs a replacement father.
167
00:16:54,084 --> 00:16:57,074
That's why he wants to keep you
here for the next ten years.
168
00:16:57,158 --> 00:17:00,713
He understands, maybe
intuitively, that he needs
169
00:17:00,797 --> 00:17:02,717
to do it again.
170
00:17:02,801 --> 00:17:06,024
To relive his life
with a different model.
171
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:10,133
Well, I'm not spending
the next ten years down here.
172
00:17:10,217 --> 00:17:13,356
No, you're not.
173
00:18:56,529 --> 00:18:59,284
A little meshuggener, maybe.
174
00:19:34,605 --> 00:19:36,609
Sam?
175
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,848
Sam, could you
come out here, please?
176
00:20:08,071 --> 00:20:13,349
Sam, I don't think...
177
00:20:18,893 --> 00:20:21,148
I don't think that
I said what really
178
00:20:21,232 --> 00:20:24,019
needed to be said yesterday.
179
00:20:24,103 --> 00:20:29,164
It has been a problem
down here for me,
180
00:20:29,248 --> 00:20:32,904
to always know exactly
how to communicate with you.
181
00:20:32,988 --> 00:20:35,861
And to know what I'm feeling.
182
00:20:36,863 --> 00:20:40,253
I have something to say
that may be difficult to hear.
183
00:20:40,337 --> 00:20:42,590
That is part of
this process, though,
184
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:44,929
honestly sharing the truth,
185
00:20:45,013 --> 00:20:47,317
even if it's hard.
186
00:20:52,728 --> 00:20:54,347
You brought me down here,
187
00:20:54,431 --> 00:20:58,272
and you asked me to treat you,
and I did.
188
00:21:00,744 --> 00:21:03,249
And I can't do it anymore.
189
00:21:04,985 --> 00:21:08,109
I have done the most I can.
190
00:21:08,193 --> 00:21:11,315
And I am telling you,
in my professional opinion,
191
00:21:11,399 --> 00:21:15,490
and I consider this
to be a near certainty,
192
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:20,599
for you to get better, you
need to be physically stopped
193
00:21:20,683 --> 00:21:22,570
from acting out your compulsion.
194
00:21:22,654 --> 00:21:26,712
Being physically prevented
from hurting anyone else
195
00:21:26,796 --> 00:21:30,986
is what will give you
the freedom to actually heal
196
00:21:31,070 --> 00:21:33,025
your heart and your mind.
197
00:21:33,109 --> 00:21:35,863
It's what will give you
the space to heal
198
00:21:35,947 --> 00:21:37,300
what your father did to you.
199
00:21:37,384 --> 00:21:40,106
As much as it can be, Sam.
200
00:21:40,190 --> 00:21:43,179
That kind of pain
never heals entirely.
201
00:21:43,263 --> 00:21:48,005
But you can do enough of it to
allow you to live a better life.
202
00:21:49,073 --> 00:21:52,764
Sam, I have so much respect
for what you're trying to do.
203
00:21:52,848 --> 00:21:54,133
It's very brave.
204
00:21:54,217 --> 00:21:57,373
In the whole history of
people who have struggled
205
00:21:57,457 --> 00:21:59,077
with what you're
struggling with,
206
00:21:59,161 --> 00:22:01,615
I bet you stand alone
207
00:22:01,699 --> 00:22:04,605
in the strength of
your efforts to change.
208
00:22:06,476 --> 00:22:09,013
And...
209
00:22:11,018 --> 00:22:14,274
...it's time to
turn yourself in.
210
00:22:14,358 --> 00:22:17,180
Call the police
and turn yourself in.
211
00:22:17,264 --> 00:22:21,155
I now know, apart from
anything having to do with me,
212
00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:24,344
this is the only way for you.
213
00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:29,588
Our therapy is over.
214
00:22:30,357 --> 00:22:32,310
You need to make a choice.
215
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,848
I'm making one,
and you have to make one, too.
216
00:22:34,932 --> 00:22:38,956
My choice is that I am not
doing therapy with you anymore.
217
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:44,034
Your choice...
You can turn yourself in,
218
00:22:44,118 --> 00:22:48,058
or you can end this
the other way.
219
00:22:51,031 --> 00:22:53,987
I don't want to do that.
220
00:22:54,071 --> 00:22:55,256
Either one.
221
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:58,429
I know. But it's time.
222
00:22:58,513 --> 00:23:02,721
And I'm not going to live
down here like a pet.
223
00:25:21,899 --> 00:25:23,869
Thank you.
224
00:25:28,313 --> 00:25:29,998
I know you want to go home...
225
00:25:30,082 --> 00:25:35,008
but... he's not ready.
226
00:25:35,092 --> 00:25:37,430
He's not.
227
00:25:39,168 --> 00:25:41,739
Candace, this needs to end now.
228
00:25:42,507 --> 00:25:46,615
No matter what happens,
we can't leave anything unsaid.
229
00:25:48,719 --> 00:25:51,608
This is going to
be hard to hear,
230
00:25:51,692 --> 00:25:53,946
and I want you to know
that I am saying it
231
00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:55,616
not just in my best interests,
232
00:25:55,700 --> 00:25:58,372
but in yours and Sam's as well.
233
00:26:00,176 --> 00:26:04,801
When he was a boy and
his father was abusing him,
234
00:26:04,885 --> 00:26:08,225
you didn't take
any steps to stop it.
235
00:26:09,060 --> 00:26:12,817
You didn't leave or get help.
236
00:26:12,901 --> 00:26:16,375
It wasn't your fault,
you didn't know what to do.
237
00:26:17,177 --> 00:26:20,383
But you did not protect him.
238
00:26:22,988 --> 00:26:26,528
You did not protect your son.
239
00:26:41,559 --> 00:26:43,479
- Ah! What are you doing?
- Sam! Sam?!
240
00:26:43,563 --> 00:26:45,482
Ow, ow! Stop.
What are you doing, Dr. Strauss?
241
00:26:45,566 --> 00:26:47,654
Sam, come downstairs
right now! Stop!
242
00:26:47,738 --> 00:26:50,193
I am sorry to be
in this position.
243
00:26:50,277 --> 00:26:52,397
I don't want to be doing this.
244
00:26:52,481 --> 00:26:54,234
I care about you, Sam,
I really do.
245
00:26:54,318 --> 00:26:56,105
But... No, no! Stop!
246
00:26:56,189 --> 00:26:58,275
But I will kill her if
you don't call the police.
247
00:26:58,359 --> 00:26:59,678
Sam, I...
248
00:26:59,762 --> 00:27:01,248
Do it, Sam,
249
00:27:01,332 --> 00:27:02,650
- or I will cut her throat.
- Sam, please.
250
00:27:02,734 --> 00:27:04,521
- Dr. Strauss, you...
- I don't want to.
251
00:27:04,605 --> 00:27:06,891
I don't want to, Sam. What I
want is for you to call 911,
252
00:27:06,975 --> 00:27:10,199
and turn yourself in,
you have to. Turn yourself in!
253
00:27:10,283 --> 00:27:11,535
- Or I will do it!
- He's just bluffing, Mom.
254
00:27:11,619 --> 00:27:13,072
All he wants to do
is get out of here.
255
00:27:13,156 --> 00:27:14,741
I am not, Sam. Call 911!
256
00:27:14,825 --> 00:27:16,512
I-I don't...
I don't believe you...
257
00:27:16,596 --> 00:27:18,149
I am not bluffing, Sam!
258
00:27:18,233 --> 00:27:19,785
I am going to kill her.
259
00:27:19,869 --> 00:27:22,256
You said we shouldn't interrupt
each other down here!
260
00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:25,546
Goddamn it, we let
each other finish!
261
00:27:30,022 --> 00:27:32,877
You... you said
I was getting better.
262
00:27:32,961 --> 00:27:35,383
You... I believed you.
263
00:27:35,467 --> 00:27:37,253
I told you last night.
You cannot get better
264
00:27:37,337 --> 00:27:40,059
unless you are stopped from
acting out your compulsions.
265
00:27:40,143 --> 00:27:42,630
That is the only way out
for you.
266
00:27:42,714 --> 00:27:45,486
This is the only way out for me.
267
00:27:49,060 --> 00:27:51,115
Make your choice.
268
00:27:51,199 --> 00:27:53,786
I don't want to.
269
00:27:53,870 --> 00:27:58,312
Then your mother's going to die.
And you'll kill me.
270
00:28:00,716 --> 00:28:03,722
I don't think you're the kind
of man that can even do it.
271
00:28:35,653 --> 00:28:36,972
Alan?
272
00:28:38,492 --> 00:28:39,610
Alan?
273
00:28:41,565 --> 00:28:42,616
Are you okay?
274
00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:45,055
Just a bad dream.
275
00:28:49,381 --> 00:28:53,489
About when you were... away?
276
00:28:54,392 --> 00:28:55,810
Not exactly.
277
00:28:55,894 --> 00:28:58,365
Then what was it?
278
00:28:59,634 --> 00:29:02,590
I'll tell you in
about ten years.
279
00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:04,760
Keep your stuff together,
here we go.
280
00:29:04,844 --> 00:29:07,784
Everyone, let's go.
It's dinnertime.
281
00:29:19,508 --> 00:29:20,859
I'm just saying, I don't know
282
00:29:20,943 --> 00:29:22,363
how Shmuel ended up
being the coach.
283
00:29:22,447 --> 00:29:23,632
Shush. Dov likes him.
284
00:29:23,716 --> 00:29:25,369
You can't shield him
from the truth.
285
00:29:25,453 --> 00:29:26,938
I'm not so sure about that.
286
00:29:27,022 --> 00:29:28,108
Coach Shmuel was captain
287
00:29:28,192 --> 00:29:29,410
of the intermural baseball team
288
00:29:29,494 --> 00:29:31,114
- at UMass.
- Yes, we know.
289
00:29:31,198 --> 00:29:32,917
We all know. That's my point.
290
00:29:36,408 --> 00:29:37,744
Thank you.
291
00:30:53,129 --> 00:30:57,487
Stop! Stop! Stop! Don't!
292
00:30:57,571 --> 00:31:00,292
Don't, Sam!
293
00:31:00,376 --> 00:31:03,198
Stop! Stop! Stop!
294
00:31:03,282 --> 00:31:07,206
No! No...
295
00:31:07,290 --> 00:31:10,629
No, no, no...
296
00:31:13,169 --> 00:31:15,906
Oh, Sam.
297
00:35:44,877 --> 00:35:47,799
"Dear children of Dr. Strauss,
298
00:35:47,883 --> 00:35:50,004
"I am writing to
let you know the bad news
299
00:35:50,088 --> 00:35:52,510
"that your dad is dead.
300
00:35:52,594 --> 00:35:54,814
"He helped me a lot.
301
00:35:54,898 --> 00:35:58,588
"I know from him it's important
for you Jews to have a body
302
00:35:58,672 --> 00:36:02,363
"when someone dies, so I
put it where you can find it.
303
00:36:02,447 --> 00:36:05,802
"It's ten yards back
in the trees
304
00:36:05,886 --> 00:36:10,078
"by the northwest entrance
to Finch Ridge Preserve.
305
00:36:10,162 --> 00:36:14,102
I am enclosing a letter
he left for you."
306
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,862
"Dear Shoshana and Ezra,
307
00:36:18,946 --> 00:36:22,085
"I love you both so much.
308
00:36:23,589 --> 00:36:27,480
"I'm sorry this happened to you,
and I'm sorry it happened to me.
309
00:36:27,564 --> 00:36:30,986
"But here we are.
310
00:36:31,070 --> 00:36:34,360
"I want you to know
I haven't suffered.
311
00:36:34,444 --> 00:36:37,466
"And I've had a lot
of time to think.
312
00:36:37,550 --> 00:36:40,739
"You know I like to do that.
313
00:36:40,823 --> 00:36:45,148
"The two of you gave my life,
and your mother's life, meaning.
314
00:36:45,232 --> 00:36:47,253
"All parents love
their children,
315
00:36:47,337 --> 00:36:50,626
"but no one loved their kids
more than we did.
316
00:36:50,710 --> 00:36:55,235
"You are extraordinary people.
317
00:36:55,319 --> 00:36:58,074
"I want you both to go forward
without my death
318
00:36:58,158 --> 00:37:00,746
"defining your lives.
319
00:37:00,830 --> 00:37:04,821
"I also want to make sure that
some of the conflicts we had
320
00:37:04,905 --> 00:37:09,313
"don't define how you remember
our relationships either.
321
00:37:10,850 --> 00:37:15,275
"Shoshana, you and I and
your mother had our issues,
322
00:37:15,359 --> 00:37:20,585
"but mostly it has been easy
and full of caring.
323
00:37:20,669 --> 00:37:24,393
"I thank you for that gift.
324
00:37:24,477 --> 00:37:28,568
"You are the brightest,
most extraordinary young woman
325
00:37:28,652 --> 00:37:30,539
"I can imagine.
326
00:37:30,623 --> 00:37:34,446
"In these dark times,
I have thought about you
327
00:37:34,530 --> 00:37:37,086
"and your beautiful family
constantly,
328
00:37:37,170 --> 00:37:43,181
"and it has given me joy,
pride and solace.
329
00:37:45,085 --> 00:37:47,372
"Ezra, my dear son,
330
00:37:47,456 --> 00:37:51,514
"you are a bright light
in this world.
331
00:37:51,598 --> 00:37:56,424
"We both know it hasn't been
such smooth sailing between us.
332
00:37:56,508 --> 00:37:58,562
"And your mother.
333
00:37:58,646 --> 00:38:00,966
"I have spent a lot of time
thinking back on everything
334
00:38:01,050 --> 00:38:04,573
"that happened,
and I see things now
335
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:08,548
"that I was unable to grasp
when they were happening.
336
00:38:08,632 --> 00:38:12,356
"I want you to know
that I understand now
337
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,195
"everything you said to me.
338
00:38:15,279 --> 00:38:17,867
"You were right. Mostly.
339
00:38:17,951 --> 00:38:23,211
"I was judgmental, I didn't
accept you for who you were,
340
00:38:23,295 --> 00:38:26,250
"and worst of all,
I allowed your mother
341
00:38:26,334 --> 00:38:27,753
"to take the blame for this,
342
00:38:27,837 --> 00:38:32,496
"when I was as much
at fault as anyone.
343
00:38:32,580 --> 00:38:34,383
"More.
344
00:38:35,886 --> 00:38:41,664
"I want you to know that
I see this and I'm sorry.
345
00:38:43,268 --> 00:38:45,455
"Through it all,
I always loved you.
346
00:38:45,539 --> 00:38:48,261
"And I want you to know
how very much
347
00:38:48,345 --> 00:38:52,469
"I respect who you are
and the choices you've made.
348
00:38:52,553 --> 00:38:57,346
"You've built a beautiful family
and a beautiful life.
349
00:38:57,430 --> 00:39:02,623
You are a special
and truly wonderful person."
350
00:39:11,056 --> 00:39:13,578
A little meshuggener, maybe.
351
00:40:01,624 --> 00:40:04,313
I think I really changed.
352
00:40:04,397 --> 00:40:07,035
The therapy worked.
353
00:40:07,804 --> 00:40:09,774
I'm not going to do it again.
354
00:40:11,778 --> 00:40:16,321
I am never going to
hurt anyone again.
355
00:40:19,127 --> 00:40:21,413
That's not true.
356
00:40:21,497 --> 00:40:24,620
You're going to do it again.
357
00:40:24,704 --> 00:40:27,309
We both know it.
358
00:40:51,591 --> 00:40:55,265
Mom! Can you come down here?!
359
00:42:44,284 --> 00:42:45,702
Did you know him?
360
00:42:45,786 --> 00:42:47,673
Not personally.
361
00:42:47,757 --> 00:42:50,412
I have colleagues who
were students of his.
362
00:42:50,496 --> 00:42:52,516
And I read his book.
363
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,338
You know, I never read it.
364
00:42:56,407 --> 00:42:59,463
I don't even have a copy.
365
00:42:59,547 --> 00:43:02,202
Although, I think
I'm about to inherit
366
00:43:02,286 --> 00:43:04,540
like three boxes of them.
367
00:43:04,624 --> 00:43:08,815
I think one of the sections
is on parenting.
368
00:43:08,899 --> 00:43:10,918
Huh.
369
00:43:11,002 --> 00:43:13,408
I guess I should read it.
370
00:43:16,515 --> 00:43:18,818
So, how are you getting along?
371
00:43:22,226 --> 00:43:25,265
What happened was...
372
00:43:32,580 --> 00:43:36,037
I'm just worried for my kids.
373
00:43:36,121 --> 00:43:39,143
And my wife.
374
00:43:39,227 --> 00:43:41,564
And my sister.
375
00:43:44,804 --> 00:43:46,607
What about you?
376
00:43:48,445 --> 00:43:51,918
It's been hard, but I'm okay.
377
00:43:57,296 --> 00:44:01,002
Do you want to tell me a little
more about yourself, Ezra?
378
00:44:02,573 --> 00:44:07,132
I'm... I'm not sure
where to start.
379
00:44:07,216 --> 00:44:09,987
Really anywhere's okay.
380
00:44:28,057 --> 00:44:30,328
I...
381
00:44:31,664 --> 00:44:34,970
"You Want It Darker"
by Leonard Cohen play...
382
00:44:47,028 --> 00:44:51,420
♪♪ If you are the dealer,
I'm out of the game ♪♪
383
00:44:51,504 --> 00:44:55,996
♪♪ If you are the healer,
it means I'm broker than lame ♪♪
384
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:01,107
♪♪ If thine is the glory,
then mine must be the shame ♪♪
385
00:45:01,191 --> 00:45:03,678
♪♪ You want it darker ♪♪
386
00:45:03,762 --> 00:45:06,801
♪♪ We kill the flame ♪♪
387
00:45:13,414 --> 00:45:16,236
♪♪ Magnified, sanctified ♪♪
388
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,274
♪♪ Be the holy name ♪♪
389
00:45:18,358 --> 00:45:20,579
♪♪ Vilified, crucified ♪♪
390
00:45:20,663 --> 00:45:22,916
♪♪ In the human frame ♪♪
391
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,586
♪♪ A million candles burning ♪♪
392
00:45:24,670 --> 00:45:27,292
♪♪ For the help that never came ♪♪
393
00:45:27,376 --> 00:45:29,914
♪♪ You want it darker ♪♪
394
00:45:35,459 --> 00:45:38,682
♪♪ Hineni, hineni ♪♪
395
00:45:38,766 --> 00:45:40,802
♪♪ I'm ready, my Lord ♪♪
396
00:45:49,453 --> 00:45:52,876
Vocalizing...
397
00:46:11,931 --> 00:46:14,102
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