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♪ Here's the story ♪
2
00:00:03,854 --> 00:00:05,770
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,122
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
4
00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:09,591
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
5
00:00:09,660 --> 00:00:12,360
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
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♪ Like their mother ♪
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♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
8
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♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
9
00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:25,273
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
10
00:00:25,342 --> 00:00:29,044
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
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♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
12
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:35,868
♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
13
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:39,405
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
14
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:43,275
♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
15
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,428
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
17
00:00:48,765 --> 00:00:50,849
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
18
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:57,455
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
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00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,880
Come on, Peter!
20
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:27,219
Give somebody else a chance!
21
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,156
All I was doing was
brushing my teeth.
22
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,203
Well, how many
teeth have you got?
23
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,359
The same amount as you,
24
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,494
but my mouth isn't
as big as yours.
25
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:37,495
Oh, ho, ho.
26
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:38,830
It's all yours, Your Highness.
27
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,999
Oh, very... Cindy!
28
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,000
( chuckles)
29
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,902
Cindy!
30
00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:53,829
Marcia, wait a
minute. That's my bike.
31
00:01:53,897 --> 00:01:56,397
I know. Mine has a
flat. I won't be long.
32
00:02:02,005 --> 00:02:04,005
( music playing over TV)
33
00:02:09,179 --> 00:02:10,112
( switch clicks)
34
00:02:10,180 --> 00:02:11,113
What are you doing?
35
00:02:11,181 --> 00:02:12,447
I was watching a movie.
36
00:02:12,515 --> 00:02:15,450
Jan, we want to
watch a ball game.
37
00:02:15,518 --> 00:02:17,496
Yeah, you can watch
a movie any old time.
38
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,664
But I want to see this movie.
39
00:02:18,688 --> 00:02:20,388
Come on.
40
00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:22,335
( talking over each other)
( knob clatters on floor)
41
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:23,792
That's your fault!
42
00:02:23,861 --> 00:02:25,794
It is not! You broke
it! You made me.
43
00:02:25,863 --> 00:02:27,673
Now we're going to miss
the ball game. I did not!
44
00:02:27,697 --> 00:02:29,798
( arguing loudly)
45
00:02:29,867 --> 00:02:34,052
Okay! Okay! Everybody, please.
46
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,987
Now, what's the problem?
47
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,918
I'll tell you what
the problem is.
48
00:02:37,942 --> 00:02:40,442
You have to wait in line
for everything around here.
49
00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:42,611
Someone's always
borrowing your things.
50
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:43,946
I never have any privacy
51
00:02:44,014 --> 00:02:46,497
because I've got too
many brothers and sisters.
52
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,583
I wish I were an only child.
53
00:02:56,961 --> 00:02:59,161
I have to live with five
brothers and sisters
54
00:02:59,229 --> 00:03:01,930
all day... every day.
55
00:03:01,999 --> 00:03:02,999
Okay, honey,
56
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:05,100
but they have to
live with you, too.
57
00:03:05,169 --> 00:03:07,102
Well, I wish they didn't.
58
00:03:07,171 --> 00:03:09,271
I'm tired of getting
pushed around.
59
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:11,151
Jan, you're not
getting pushed around.
60
00:03:11,175 --> 00:03:12,885
Listen, when you
live in a large family,
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00:03:12,909 --> 00:03:15,155
you have to learn to
give and take a little bit.
62
00:03:15,179 --> 00:03:16,990
Well, my friend Donna doesn't.
63
00:03:17,014 --> 00:03:18,558
She doesn't have
any of these problems.
64
00:03:18,582 --> 00:03:21,093
Yeah, but does your friend Donna
have any brothers and sisters?
65
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,619
No, and she couldn't be happier.
66
00:03:23,687 --> 00:03:25,665
She doesn't have
to wait for the phone
67
00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:27,789
or the bathroom or anything.
68
00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:29,958
She has all the
privacy she wants.
69
00:03:30,027 --> 00:03:30,975
Now, just a minute, Jan.
70
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,577
There are two sides to that.
71
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:35,380
Donna also doesn't have anyone
to help her with her homework
72
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,849
or to play with or
to go places with.
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00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,250
Well, that sounds great.
74
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:40,780
Well, Jan, what's
good for one person
75
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,337
isn't always good for another.
76
00:03:42,405 --> 00:03:44,200
Listen, I think you
ought to consider yourself
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00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,035
a very lucky young lady.
78
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,527
Hear, hear.
79
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,395
Mom, Donna invited me
80
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,375
to spend Saturday
night at her house.
81
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,331
Okay?
82
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,999
Saturday night?
83
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,502
Now, Jan, you know that's
the night of the square dance.
84
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,137
We're going to be a square.
85
00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:01,084
Well, couldn't
Alice take my part?
86
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,424
Well, yes, I suppose she could,
87
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,094
but it wouldn't be the
same without you, honey.
88
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,578
We're going as a family.
89
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,430
That's what I mean!
90
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,100
Donna doesn't have
to do family things.
91
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:15,303
Sometimes I wish I didn't
have any brothers or sisters.
92
00:04:15,371 --> 00:04:18,472
Then I could do what I wanted
without anybody to bug me.
93
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:22,460
Hi, Alice.
94
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,029
Hi.
95
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:27,966
Hey, there's one left.
96
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:31,436
( grunts): Bobby,
you come back here!
97
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,951
Alice... Yeah, Bobby,
you come back here!
98
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,274
Why am I hollering
99
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:37,520
for Bobby to come back here?
100
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,110
'Cause he just took my apple.
101
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,111
Oh, well, if that's all
102
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,458
that's bothering
you, no problem.
103
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,414
Well, that was the
last apple, Alice.
104
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:45,116
Oh, no, no.
105
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,886
This is the last apple.
106
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,489
You're something
else, Alice. Thanks.
107
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,135
CAROL: Alice?
108
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,737
Mr. Brady's going to
drive me to the market
109
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,038
to pick up a few things.
110
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,272
I thought we finished all
the shopping yesterday.
111
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,190
Oh, but this is for
something special.
112
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,026
I decided to make
strawberry preserves
113
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,627
for the auction at
the charity hoedown.
114
00:05:01,651 --> 00:05:02,918
You did? Yeah.
115
00:05:02,986 --> 00:05:04,419
Something wrong?
116
00:05:04,487 --> 00:05:06,287
Oh, no, no, it's just
that I was going to make
117
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:08,456
strawberry preserves
for the auction myself.
118
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:11,470
Oh. Well, mine are from my
grandmother's secret recipe, Alice.
119
00:05:11,494 --> 00:05:13,189
Won four blue ribbons with it.
120
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,491
Must've been really
something. Yeah.
121
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:18,416
My aunt's secret
recipe won six ribbons.
122
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,279
Look, Alice, why can't
we both make preserves?
123
00:05:20,303 --> 00:05:22,314
I mean, there's no
contest between us, right?
124
00:05:22,338 --> 00:05:23,338
Right, right.
125
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,274
Okay. I-I'll go pick
up those things.
126
00:05:26,342 --> 00:05:28,777
Uh, by the way...
127
00:05:28,845 --> 00:05:31,413
what's in your
aunt's secret recipe?
128
00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:34,265
Oh, I guess most
of the same things
129
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,996
that are in your
grandmother's secret recipe.
130
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:38,637
Well, bye.
131
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:40,705
Bye.
132
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,545
There. Oh, there they are.
133
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,497
Hey, these sacks will be great
134
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,299
for the potato-sack
race at the hoedown.
135
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:58,056
Yeah. Uh... don't you think
136
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,491
we'd better clean
them out first?
137
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:03,199
Nah, we'll just jump
the dust out of them.
138
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:10,134
Hi. Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
139
00:06:11,488 --> 00:06:12,987
Hi.
140
00:06:13,056 --> 00:06:14,589
What are you doing?
141
00:06:14,658 --> 00:06:15,940
Have you got a problem?
142
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,059
No. We're just getting
143
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,605
the sacks ready for the race.
144
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:20,773
Maybe we'll win a prize. Yeah.
145
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,108
Yeah. Wait till you
see what we got
146
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,064
for the square dance. Yeah.
147
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,583
Wow. Look here.
148
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,569
Think the rain's gonna
hurt the rhubarb?
149
00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:30,539
No, but I sure
hope it kills the corn.
150
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,785
Hey, it should be a lot of
fun Saturday night, huh?
151
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,143
Yeah. You know, I hope
Jan changes her mind
152
00:06:35,211 --> 00:06:36,322
and decides to come with us.
153
00:06:36,346 --> 00:06:37,740
Well, honey, don't
worry if she doesn't.
154
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:38,884
Jan's going through a phase.
155
00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:40,915
She's thinks she
doesn't have any privacy.
156
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,144
It'll pass.
157
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,729
We all treat each
other the same.
158
00:06:43,753 --> 00:06:45,231
She has as much
privacy as the rest of us.
159
00:06:45,255 --> 00:06:46,565
Well, be a little
considerate of her
160
00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:48,289
till she gets over her phase.
161
00:06:48,358 --> 00:06:50,003
( with Southern
twang): Okay, we'll try
162
00:06:50,027 --> 00:06:51,337
and take kindly to the critter.
163
00:06:51,361 --> 00:06:53,161
( with Southern
twang): Yes, sir, we'll try.
164
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,480
( all laughing)
165
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,384
The reason I called, Amy,
166
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:02,387
is that groovy red hair
and mysterious green eyes
167
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:05,056
really turn me on.
168
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,891
It's Greg Brady.
169
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,105
You remember, I talked
to you in school yesterday
170
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,396
about the charity
hoedown Saturday night.
171
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,942
Yeah, well, I thought
if you were going...
172
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,399
Oh, it never fails!
173
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:15,612
One of them's
always on the phone
174
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,568
when you want to use it.
175
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,570
Do you mind? I'm trying to...
176
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:21,406
Uh, uh, Jan,
listen, if you need it,
177
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,907
I'll let you have the phone.
178
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,743
Listen, Amy, can I
call you back later?
179
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:27,312
Okay, good-bye.
180
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:31,349
Here you are,
Jan. It's all yours.
181
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:35,302
Gee, thanks.
182
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:39,774
75, 80, 90, 95.
183
00:07:39,843 --> 00:07:41,843
I've got 95 cents.
How much you got?
184
00:07:41,912 --> 00:07:43,444
I got 60 cents.
185
00:07:43,513 --> 00:07:45,780
Let's see. 95 and 60.
186
00:07:45,849 --> 00:07:47,648
That's $1.55.
187
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,362
Hey, that's more than we need.
188
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,552
What is this big
financial transaction?
189
00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:53,682
We finally got enough
money to buy a trick rope
190
00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:55,384
for the square
dance Saturday night.
191
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,608
Don't forget that 95
cents of that rope is mine.
192
00:07:57,660 --> 00:07:59,620
You only get to
use 60 cents' worth.
193
00:07:59,663 --> 00:08:02,280
Okay. I'll take 30 cents'
worth on each end.
194
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,550
Now, I don't understand that,
but it sounds mighty shrewd.
195
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:07,246
Look, Alice. Hmm?
196
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:08,747
Isn't that a pretty bracelet?
197
00:08:08,771 --> 00:08:10,891
Oh, yeah. It's absolutely free.
198
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,385
Well, you'd better
read that small print
199
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,175
and see how free that "free" is.
200
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,421
Well, you do have to subscribe
201
00:08:15,445 --> 00:08:18,046
to this new teen
magazine for $1.50,
202
00:08:18,114 --> 00:08:20,514
and as usual, I'm broke.
203
00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:27,688
Think we ought to
lend Jan the money?
204
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,524
Are you nuts?
205
00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:30,792
What for?
206
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:32,922
To be considerate,
like Mom and Dad said.
207
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,513
Look, she's done a lot
of nice things for you.
208
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,664
Like what?
209
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,032
Well, like...
210
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,579
well, like she helped
you with your homework.
211
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:42,570
Homework's one
thing. Money's another.
212
00:08:42,639 --> 00:08:45,206
Well, I'm going to
lend her my money.
213
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,252
There goes the rope trick.
214
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,688
You can put your
money back in your bank
215
00:08:48,712 --> 00:08:50,678
or you can be a nice guy.
216
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:53,280
What a rotten choice.
217
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,220
Hey, Jan, how'd you like to get
218
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,432
that money for your bracelet?
219
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,389
Would I?
220
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:02,852
But it's only a loan.
221
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,075
What's the catch?
222
00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:06,261
No catch. Just pay it
back whenever you can.
223
00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:07,729
Don't rush.
224
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,164
We're just trying to
help you, that's all.
225
00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:12,550
Gee, thanks.
226
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,682
That was a very
nice gesture, fellows.
227
00:09:16,706 --> 00:09:19,173
You deserve to have
something nice done for you.
228
00:09:19,242 --> 00:09:22,176
How about giving us $1.55?
229
00:09:22,245 --> 00:09:23,577
Come on.
230
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,700
Ow! Freckles aren't
supposed to hurt.
231
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,049
That's enough.
232
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,703
Cindy, you want to
see how you'll look
233
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,416
before you go to the
square dance, don't you?
234
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,418
Yeah, but you better
not put too many on me,
235
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:36,919
or else they won't let me in.
236
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,042
Why?
237
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,922
They'll think I
have the measles.
238
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,379
( laughs) Hi.
239
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,764
Hi.
240
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:45,577
I'm sorry, Jan.
241
00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:46,745
I was sitting on your bed.
242
00:09:46,769 --> 00:09:47,946
I'll straighten it out.
243
00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,315
I'll clean these
things off your desk
244
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:50,804
in case you want to use it.
245
00:09:50,873 --> 00:09:52,651
Oh, and any time you
want your bed straightened,
246
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,686
I'll be glad to do
it. Cindy, come on.
247
00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:56,610
Let's do the freckles
downstairs, okay?
248
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,280
CINDY: Have a nice privacy!
249
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:08,340
Alice, would you like to
see what's in my recipe?
250
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,525
I mean, I really
have no secrets.
251
00:10:10,594 --> 00:10:11,955
No, I know you
don't, Mrs. Brady.
252
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:15,446
I wouldn't want my recipe
to be a secret, either.
253
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:17,999
Alice, could I borrow
some of the sugar, please?
254
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,367
Oh, sure.
255
00:10:19,436 --> 00:10:20,996
Thanks. Mm-hmm.
256
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,924
Hmm, very interesting.
257
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,170
One cup of sugar
258
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,739
to three-quarters
of a cup of fruit.
259
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,029
Oh, is that what I used?
260
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:34,799
Mm.
261
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,151
Three dashes, huh?
262
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,354
Oh, well, who counts?
263
00:10:39,423 --> 00:10:41,322
I think mine's ready to boil.
264
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,024
Mine, too.
265
00:10:47,363 --> 00:10:49,030
Hey, what's cooking?
266
00:10:49,099 --> 00:10:50,198
Oh, hi, honey.
267
00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:51,777
Alice and I are making
strawberry preserves
268
00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:52,733
for the charity auction.
269
00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:54,269
Yes, Mrs. Brady and I
270
00:10:54,337 --> 00:10:55,982
are both making
preserves for the auction.
271
00:10:56,006 --> 00:10:58,273
Honey, which pot do
you think looks the best?
272
00:10:58,341 --> 00:10:59,651
What is this, a contest?
273
00:10:59,675 --> 00:11:01,153
No. Are you kidding?
Absolutely not.
274
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:02,777
Not at all. We
were just curious.
275
00:11:02,845 --> 00:11:05,046
Yeah, listen, just to
satisfy my own curiosity,
276
00:11:05,115 --> 00:11:06,658
I came in about my overalls.
277
00:11:06,682 --> 00:11:08,327
Either these things were
made for Paul Bunyan
278
00:11:08,351 --> 00:11:12,053
or two guys to wear
at the same time.
279
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,439
Ouch!
280
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,242
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
281
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,410
Well, look, look,
just stay still, okay?
282
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:21,057
Could you use
shorter pins there?
283
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,413
Well, try not to move.
284
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,026
Okay, how that's
for length, Mr. Brady?
285
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,483
Let's see... Ow!
286
00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:28,586
Mike, I told you not to move.
287
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:30,516
Well, you leave the
length to me, Mr. Brady.
288
00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:31,984
I'll make sure
they're high enough
289
00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:34,008
to show your purple
checkered socks.
290
00:11:34,076 --> 00:11:35,638
Bring a tourniquet.
I'm bleeding to death.
291
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,907
Alice, have you
seen my magazine?
292
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,097
Well, isn't that it?
293
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,446
Oh, yes, thank you.
294
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,644
Reckon I'd better go get myself
295
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,101
some more pins.
296
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,081
Okay, now just
stand still like that.
297
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,272
Oh, Jan, listen,
would you like to try on
298
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,651
your dress for the square dance?
299
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:49,941
How come you got me one?
300
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:51,376
Well, I just thought
301
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:53,056
maybe you'd change your
mind and come with us.
302
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,540
Yeah, we're going
to have a lot of fun.
303
00:11:54,564 --> 00:11:58,149
Well, I promised Donna that I'd
spend Saturday night with her.
304
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,145
Well, couldn't you spend
some other night with Donna?
305
00:12:00,169 --> 00:12:02,002
I guess.
306
00:12:02,071 --> 00:12:04,338
I'll have to think about it.
307
00:12:07,844 --> 00:12:09,277
What are you doing?
308
00:12:09,345 --> 00:12:11,813
Standing still.
309
00:12:13,616 --> 00:12:15,617
( laughs)
310
00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:21,933
Oh... you can use the stairs
311
00:12:21,957 --> 00:12:23,035
if you want to.
312
00:12:23,059 --> 00:12:24,337
I'll wait till later.
313
00:12:24,361 --> 00:12:26,577
Cindy, what's going
on around here?
314
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,897
I was just trying
to be considerate.
315
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,431
Everybody is.
316
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,167
How come everybody's so
nice to me all of a sudden?
317
00:12:33,236 --> 00:12:34,547
Because we're supposed to be.
318
00:12:34,571 --> 00:12:36,304
What do you mean,
supposed to be?
319
00:12:36,373 --> 00:12:39,540
We're supposed to be nice to
you until you get over your problem.
320
00:12:39,608 --> 00:12:42,009
Then we can forget
about you again.
321
00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:43,912
So that's it!
322
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,975
I didn't really mean... Come on.
323
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,748
JAN: Greg, Bobby, Peter!
324
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,768
BOBBY: What does she want?
325
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:52,103
GREG: What's going on?
326
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,783
Marcia, come in here a minute.
327
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:54,884
I want to talk to you.
328
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,373
GREG: Jan, what's this about?
329
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,905
Okay, you can just cut
out the special treatment.
330
00:12:58,929 --> 00:13:00,645
Cindy told me everything.
331
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,597
Well, not everything.
332
00:13:02,666 --> 00:13:05,366
Just what I wasn't supposed to.
333
00:13:06,636 --> 00:13:07,585
You're a bunch of fakes.
334
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:08,831
That's what you are.
335
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,170
What do you mean, fakes?
336
00:13:10,239 --> 00:13:11,484
I don't need your help,
337
00:13:11,508 --> 00:13:13,452
and I don't need
your special treatment.
338
00:13:13,476 --> 00:13:14,858
Jan, take it easy.
339
00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:17,173
And I don't need you for
brothers and sisters, either.
340
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,147
See? Never lend
a relative money.
341
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,561
Who asked you to do it?
342
00:13:21,585 --> 00:13:22,861
If I were an only child,
343
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,698
I wouldn't have any
phony brothers and sisters.
344
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,321
Who needs you?
345
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,523
You mean that, Jan?
346
00:13:28,592 --> 00:13:30,224
You're right. I sure do.
347
00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:31,575
Well, if that's what you want,
348
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,744
I'm sure it could be
arranged, right, you guys?
349
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:34,745
( agreements muttered)
350
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:35,858
You just lost yourself
351
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:37,248
five brothers and sisters.
352
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,427
And you can have the whole house
353
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:39,691
to yourself. Great.
354
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:40,812
For us, too.
355
00:13:40,836 --> 00:13:42,114
As far as you're concerned,
356
00:13:42,138 --> 00:13:43,950
we don't even exist.
Yeah, we're not even here!
357
00:13:43,974 --> 00:13:45,094
GREG: Consider us invisible.
358
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,385
Come on, gang, let's disappear.
359
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,358
Yeah, let's go.
360
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,127
BOBBY: Let's disappear.
361
00:13:52,849 --> 00:13:54,932
Why are we leaving for?
362
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,335
Yeah, this is our room.
363
00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:11,516
( "Turkey in the Straw" playing)
364
00:14:35,224 --> 00:14:36,807
Isn't this great, Donna?
365
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,042
I can talk on the phone
366
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,377
whenever I want
as long as I want.
367
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:42,141
Well, I'll explain
Saturday night
368
00:14:42,165 --> 00:14:44,798
when I sleep over at your house.
369
00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:47,534
Oh, that music's just
my family practicing
370
00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:49,987
for that corny square dance.
371
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,630
( shouting and squealing)
372
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,412
I think that's
enough for tonight.
373
00:15:20,436 --> 00:15:23,754
As they say down on
the farm, Pappy's pooped.
374
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,005
( all laugh)
375
00:15:27,376 --> 00:15:30,776
MARCIA: Oh, wow, that was fun.
376
00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:35,483
Do you mind?
377
00:15:35,551 --> 00:15:37,251
I'd like to go upstairs.
378
00:15:37,319 --> 00:15:38,486
Don't mind us.
379
00:15:38,554 --> 00:15:39,987
We're invisible, remember?
380
00:15:41,758 --> 00:15:43,775
( sighs)
381
00:15:49,632 --> 00:15:51,243
Now, what was that all about?
382
00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:52,767
Oh, we agreed to
make a deal with her.
383
00:15:52,835 --> 00:15:53,945
What kind of a deal?
384
00:15:53,969 --> 00:15:55,113
Well, she's always complaining
385
00:15:55,137 --> 00:15:56,615
about wanting to
be an only child.
386
00:15:56,639 --> 00:15:58,406
So what's the deal?
387
00:15:58,474 --> 00:15:59,790
That's the way she wants it.
388
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,475
When she's around,
we don't exist.
389
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:04,278
We're invisible.
390
00:16:04,346 --> 00:16:06,513
Uh-oh, Mike. What do you think?
391
00:16:06,583 --> 00:16:08,661
Well, I think it's
better if the kids
392
00:16:08,685 --> 00:16:10,162
sometimes work out
things for themselves.
393
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:11,997
You know, if that's the
kind of medicine Jan wants,
394
00:16:12,021 --> 00:16:13,599
I think she's about
to get a big dose of it.
395
00:16:13,623 --> 00:16:15,957
Well, here we go.
396
00:16:18,861 --> 00:16:19,861
See you later, Mom.
397
00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:20,973
Where are you going, honey?
398
00:16:20,997 --> 00:16:21,929
To the library.
399
00:16:21,998 --> 00:16:23,547
Okay, but be back by 1:00.
400
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,494
Alice doesn't run an
all-day lunch counter.
401
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,638
Hey! Just a minute, you.
402
00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:27,997
What? What do you
think you're doing?
403
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,052
That's my sweater.
404
00:16:29,105 --> 00:16:30,754
So what? I always
borrow your sweater.
405
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:31,933
Well, not anymore.
406
00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:33,535
You no longer have
a sister named Marcia,
407
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:34,636
and if there's no Marcia,
408
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,004
there's no Marcia's sweater.
409
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:38,195
But, Marcia... Okay, kids, okay.
410
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,408
Mom, we made a deal, remember?
411
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,609
Yes, I remember.
412
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:41,899
And I'm sticking to it.
413
00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:44,518
Jan, do you want to stick to it?
414
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,020
Yes.
415
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:48,166
Fine. I'll just take
my invisible sweater
416
00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:49,790
and... vanish.
417
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:52,777
That's not fair.
418
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,156
I'm afraid it is, honey.
419
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,248
You can't have it both ways.
420
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:59,049
So long.
421
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:05,368
Finished your second
hamburger already, partner?
422
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,392
Yep.
423
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,570
I mean, for a little varmint,
424
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,326
you got the fastest
mouth in the west.
425
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,763
I'm sorry I'm late, Alice.
426
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:14,231
Guess Bobby ate
the last hamburger.
427
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,600
Oh, no. Remember, honey,
428
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,201
I came from a
large family myself,
429
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:20,170
and it teaches you to be
ready for any emergency.
430
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,819
This is the last hamburger.
431
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,120
Thank you, Alice.
432
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:26,806
Now, I can't tell you
where I got 'em stashed,
433
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:29,197
but in case you need 'em,
I also have the last pear,
434
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:30,910
the last peach and
the last banana.
435
00:17:30,934 --> 00:17:34,501
Okay. Pass the
potato chips, Bobby.
436
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:36,420
I said pass the potato chips.
437
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,149
Alice, will you pass
what's-her-name
438
00:17:38,173 --> 00:17:39,707
the potato chips?
439
00:17:39,776 --> 00:17:42,343
They're right in front of you.
Your arms suddenly got short?
440
00:17:42,411 --> 00:17:43,839
Well, you see, I
can't pass them.
441
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:44,796
I'm not here.
442
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,113
You're not here?
443
00:17:46,182 --> 00:17:47,281
BOBBY: That's right.
444
00:17:47,350 --> 00:17:48,710
How about you,
Jan? Are you here?
445
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:49,684
Of course I'm here.
446
00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:50,846
You're here but he's isn't?
447
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,169
That's right.
448
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,170
Hi, Alice.
449
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,171
How about you, Greg?
450
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,639
How about me, what?
451
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:56,640
Are you here?
452
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:57,853
He isn't here, either.
453
00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,409
Yeah, that's right.
454
00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:00,823
Will somebody please tell me
455
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,691
what's not going on around here?
456
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,982
I guess we should
have filled you in, Alice.
457
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,767
Sit down and I'll explain.
458
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,348
Before I sit down,
tell me one thing.
459
00:18:09,372 --> 00:18:12,306
What? Is that chair here?
460
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,326
( both laughing)
461
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:25,927
( laughs)
462
00:18:28,057 --> 00:18:29,340
Right in the face.
463
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,052
I wonder what
kind of pie that was.
464
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:32,693
Wasn't that funny, Pete?
465
00:18:38,901 --> 00:18:41,569
( dog barks on TV)
466
00:18:41,637 --> 00:18:43,103
Isn't that terrific
467
00:18:43,172 --> 00:18:44,416
the way they can make those dogs
468
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,756
do those backflips?
469
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,559
I wonder how they do
that. Isn't that cute, Cindy?
470
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,879
Hey, Marcia, would you...?
471
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,154
MIKE: Hi, honey, I'm home.
472
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:18,572
We're in here, Mike.
473
00:19:18,641 --> 00:19:20,057
Hey, I do believe
474
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,685
I've died and gone
to strawberry heaven.
475
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:22,660
You want a taste?
476
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,062
Sure. Okay.
477
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:28,999
Mm, fantastic!
478
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:32,002
Well, that's Grandma's
old recipe for you.
479
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,215
Try mine, Mr. Brady.
480
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:35,222
Yeah.
481
00:19:38,227 --> 00:19:40,327
Alice, that's out of this world.
482
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:42,040
Good old Aunt Millie.
483
00:19:42,064 --> 00:19:43,675
Do you think Alice's
tastes better than mine?
484
00:19:43,699 --> 00:19:45,176
Well, I didn't say that, honey.
485
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,445
You mean Mrs. Brady's
tastes better than mine?
486
00:19:46,469 --> 00:19:47,479
I didn't say that, either.
487
00:19:47,503 --> 00:19:49,203
Well, uh, what do you say?
488
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,088
Tell it like it is, Mr. Brady.
489
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:54,491
Well... Yes?
490
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,860
Let me put it this way.
491
00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:57,028
Yes?
492
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,273
I don't want to
scrub the kitchen.
493
00:19:58,297 --> 00:19:59,474
I don't want to
sleep in the den.
494
00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:00,778
I ain't saying.
495
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,200
Chicken.
496
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:07,254
On your mark, get set... go!
497
00:20:07,323 --> 00:20:08,272
Go, Cindy, come on!
498
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:09,818
Come on, Bobby! Come on, Bobby!
499
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:13,578
( shouting over each other)
500
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:33,945
Hurry, go!
501
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:41,922
PETER: Come on, Bobby!
502
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,360
Go! Go!
503
00:20:46,429 --> 00:20:48,056
Catch 'em! Catch 'em! Go!
504
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,230
MARCIA: Good! Come on back!
505
00:20:50,299 --> 00:20:52,199
GREG: Come on back!
506
00:21:00,743 --> 00:21:01,676
Hi, Dad.
507
00:21:01,744 --> 00:21:03,277
Hi, honey.
508
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:04,745
Mind if I watch?
509
00:21:04,814 --> 00:21:06,480
No.
510
00:21:06,549 --> 00:21:08,661
Not if you find
supermarkets interesting.
511
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,485
I'm crazy about supermarkets.
512
00:21:11,554 --> 00:21:12,665
Wouldn't you rather be doing
513
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,800
something more interesting?
514
00:21:14,824 --> 00:21:17,207
Uh-uh. This is very interesting.
515
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,522
I think the kids are out back
516
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:21,823
practicing the sack race.
517
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,881
I know.
518
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,899
Looks dull.
519
00:21:25,968 --> 00:21:27,284
( sniffles)
520
00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:29,453
Besides, they probably
wouldn't want me
521
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:31,504
out there anyway.
522
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:36,510
Well, you know, sweetheart,
523
00:21:36,579 --> 00:21:39,213
sometimes when you make a deal
524
00:21:39,282 --> 00:21:41,482
that turns out badly,
525
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:44,718
the best thing to
do is to get out of it.
526
00:21:44,787 --> 00:21:46,437
Did they say it was a bad deal?
527
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:50,124
No, no, no, but you never know.
528
00:21:50,193 --> 00:21:53,493
Sometimes when you
find it's turned out badly,
529
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:57,531
there's every chance that,
uh, they think it has, too, huh?
530
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,733
I don't know.
531
00:21:58,801 --> 00:22:00,534
Oh, come on, come on.
532
00:22:00,603 --> 00:22:03,521
You think about it, hmm?
533
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:05,356
Okay. Here.
534
00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:07,408
Okay?
535
00:22:07,476 --> 00:22:08,508
Yeah.
536
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:10,777
Go get 'em.
537
00:22:15,017 --> 00:22:16,216
The boys against the girls.
538
00:22:16,285 --> 00:22:18,485
Wait, wait, wait.
Cindy can't hop as far.
539
00:22:18,554 --> 00:22:20,766
Yeah, I have shorter legs.
540
00:22:20,790 --> 00:22:23,440
( all shouting and arguing)
541
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,003
Hold it, hold it, hold it!
542
00:22:25,027 --> 00:22:26,137
Come on, Cindy, we'll team up
543
00:22:26,161 --> 00:22:27,505
and we'll beat them.
I'll be the lineman.
544
00:22:27,529 --> 00:22:29,063
Bobby, come on.
545
00:22:29,131 --> 00:22:30,965
GREG: Hurry up.
546
00:22:31,033 --> 00:22:32,110
I'm going to start right away.
547
00:22:32,134 --> 00:22:35,652
On your marks, get set... go!
548
00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:37,104
( all shouting)
549
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:39,524
Look out!
550
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:40,875
No! Come on!
551
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:42,276
Move it, Jan!
552
00:22:42,345 --> 00:22:43,894
I won't! No! Move it.
553
00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:46,480
No! Run along, Miss Only Child.
554
00:22:46,549 --> 00:22:49,850
Well, if I'm an only
child, this is my backyard.
555
00:22:49,919 --> 00:22:51,952
( all talking and shouting)
556
00:22:52,021 --> 00:22:53,336
All right!
557
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:56,056
I'll get out of your way
on a couple of conditions.
558
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,190
What?
559
00:22:57,259 --> 00:22:58,708
That you let me in the race.
560
00:22:58,777 --> 00:22:59,777
Yeah?
561
00:22:59,845 --> 00:23:01,345
And that you promise to be
562
00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:03,192
my brothers and sisters again.
563
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:05,966
Are you sure that's
what you want, Jan?
564
00:23:06,035 --> 00:23:07,184
Positive.
565
00:23:07,252 --> 00:23:08,786
Once you've been pushed around
566
00:23:08,854 --> 00:23:10,398
by brothers and
sisters like you,
567
00:23:10,422 --> 00:23:12,022
you sure do miss it.
568
00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:13,368
Nice to have you back.
569
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:14,859
GREG: Hey, Jan, grab a sack.
570
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,310
I'll be your partner!
571
00:23:16,379 --> 00:23:17,506
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
572
00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:19,779
I forgot something.
I'll be right back.
573
00:23:21,417 --> 00:23:22,594
Hey, where are you going, honey?
574
00:23:22,618 --> 00:23:24,229
To call Donna to tell
her I can't stay over
575
00:23:24,253 --> 00:23:25,497
because I'm going
to the hoedown.
576
00:23:25,521 --> 00:23:26,832
Oh, that's terrific! Hey!
577
00:23:26,856 --> 00:23:28,789
Hey, I've got an idea.
578
00:23:28,858 --> 00:23:29,978
Is it okay if I invite Donna
579
00:23:30,026 --> 00:23:30,958
to come with us?
580
00:23:31,027 --> 00:23:32,237
Sure. That's a good idea.
581
00:23:32,261 --> 00:23:35,495
Good. Then she won't
be an only child, either.
582
00:23:35,564 --> 00:23:37,097
GREG: Hey, Alice.
583
00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,210
Why don't you fill in for Jan?
584
00:23:38,234 --> 00:23:40,651
I need a partner.
585
00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:42,286
Oh, no. No thanks.
586
00:23:42,355 --> 00:23:43,832
Oh, go on, Alice. Oh, come on.
587
00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:45,300
You can do it. Chicken,
chicken, chicken, chicken.
588
00:23:45,324 --> 00:23:47,164
All right, I'll give it a try.
589
00:23:49,061 --> 00:23:51,506
Hey, what are we
standing here for?
590
00:23:51,530 --> 00:23:52,608
That looks like fun.
591
00:23:52,632 --> 00:23:53,997
Well, I'm game if you are.
592
00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:55,499
Come on.
593
00:23:55,568 --> 00:23:59,386
On your mark, get set, go!
594
00:24:16,939 --> 00:24:20,758
( all talking excitedly)
595
00:24:20,827 --> 00:24:23,972
I know why they only have
this hoedown once a year.
596
00:24:23,996 --> 00:24:25,373
Why? Whew! Takes that long
597
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:27,008
for your feet to recover.
598
00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:28,732
Okay, everybody,
it's been a big night.
599
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:30,133
Let's hit the sack.
600
00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:31,647
PETER: Okay, Dad,
we'll be up in a minute.
601
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,737
( all talking)
602
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:34,738
( Alice whistles)
603
00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:36,106
Hold it, gang, hold it!
604
00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:38,053
Now, look, I've had
a long, hard day,
605
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:40,055
and I am pooped, so please,
until tomorrow morning,
606
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:42,479
it's my turn to be invisible.
41851
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