All language subtitles for The.OC.S01E13.WEBRip.x265-ION265

[narrator]
Previously on "The O.C.."

[Dr. Burke]
You say you drink a lot?

[Marissa] I guess. I mean, what's a lot?

[Dr. Burke] Have you ever had so much to drink that you blacked out?

How much is the Land Trust
offering me for Balboa Heights?

'That's it? That's your whole
dog-and-pony show?'

What are you doing Saturday?

What are you doing
Saturday night?

I have a date with Summer.

What are you doin' Friday night?

[upbeat music]

So, what's it gonna be, huh?

You want your menorah
or a candy cane, hm?

- Christmas or Hanukkah?
- Um, I'm not--

Uh-huh, don't worry
about it, buddy

'because in this house,
you don't have to choose.'

Allow me to introduce you to

a little something
that I like to call..

...Chrismukkah.

- Chrismukkah?
- 'That's right.'

'It's a new holiday, Ryan'

'and it's sweeping the nation.'

- Hey, fellas, we got the tree.
- Hey!

Or at least the living room.

- Guys, a little help?
- Yeah.

I saved a spot for you right
there. Put your muscle into it.

Excellent. To the right
a little. To the right.

To the right. Don't hurt it.
Those needles are brittle.

That's perfect,
you guys, you guys.

A plus. A plus. I love, I love
the holidays. I love them all.

We didn't really know
how to raise Seth.

Yeah! So I raised myself.

And in doing so, I created
the greatest super holiday

known to mankind,
drawing on the best

that Christianity
and Judaism have to offer.

- And you call it Chrismukkah?
- Ah.

Just hearing you say it
makes me feel all festive.

Allow me to elaborate.

You see, for my father here

a poor struggling Jew,
growing up in the Bronx..

'Well, Christmas meant
Chinese food and a movie.'

And for my mom here,
Waspy McWasp..

Well, it meant a tree, it meant
stockings and all the trimmings.

- Isn't that right?
- We're very proud.

- I'm not a wasp.
- Sure, you're not.

Other highlights include
eight days of presents

'followed by one day
of many presents.'

So, what do you think?

- Uh, sounds great for you guys.
- For you too.

Hey, dip a toe
in the Chrismukkah pool.

There's room for all of us.

'I mean,
isn't there something in the'

Atwood family tradition that

you would like to incorporate

into Seth's uber-holiday?

Yeah!

Atwood and holidays
is not a good combination.

- What did you guys do?
- No, seriously, thanks, but--

Come on, man,
there's got to be somethin'.

My holiday memories pretty
much consist of my mom drunk

and me getting my ass kicked.

Well, this year
will be entirely different.

New memories.

It'll be great.

Yeah. Well, whatever
you want me to do, I'll do.

That's the spirit. Come here.

- Oy, humbug.
- It's a big holiday for anyone.

Yeah, I'm still wrapping
my head around it.

- Just give him some time.
- Why don't we trim the tree?

You know what, you guys?

Soon Ryan will learn the magic

of Chrismukkah.

Worry not. I will convert him.

[bell jingling]

[theme music]

♪ California here we come ♪

♪ Right back
where we started from ♪

♪ California ♪♪ California ♪

♪ Here we come ♪

♪ Oh ♪♪

[instrumental music]

I was in the shower
for five minutes.

How did this place turn
into Santa's workshop?

Oh, I see someone
took down the wreath

I hung on the door.

It fell. What are you wrapping?

Two Seth Cohen starter packs.

We got Death Cab,
we got Bright Eyes

we got The Shins,
we got "Kavalier and Clay"

and we got "Goonies," it's not
just for kids, Ryan, it's not.

I don't care what they tell you.

Summer and Anna are gonna
love them both equally.

You're getting Summer
and Anna the same thing?

Yes, I am. Sometimes I'm so
crafty, I surprise myself.

No good can come of this,
you know that, right?

Uh, nope, I don't.

You're gonna have
to choose, man.

Hey! Not on Chrismukkah,
I don't. Okay?

There's no choosing
in Chrismukkah.

Well, you didn't get me
anything, right?

No.

[whistling]

Come on, man, lighten up.

Okay, fine. Stay dark.
Dark works too.

[whistling]

Oh, Ryan,
what is your shoe size?

- Why?
- No reason.

Mother, might that be
a Chrismukkah list?

- No. Why do you ask?
- Okay.

Let me just see it then,
real fast.

- It's work.
- Okay. I love your work.

It fascinates me, come on.

I thought you guys
said no gifts.

Well, we did.
As in, no gifts for us.

Alright. Alright.

- Well, Chrismukkah's ruined.
- Argh!

Don't even say it, man. Come on,
Chrismukkah's unruinable.

It's got twice the resistance
of any normal holiday.

Your father just
refused our latest

settlement offer.
He wants to go to trial.

That's not what
he said yesterday

he said that if you met his--

Yeah, yeah,
well, as of this morning

Ebenezer Scrooge decides
he wants to go to court

'which means, I'm gonna
have to spend the holidays'

going through file boxes
and preparing for trial.

You know, 'cause with Rachel
out of town--

Chrismukkah is ruined.

'Sooner or later we will get
through a holiday around here.'

[Seth]
'Stop it right now, okay?'

Don't give up on the miracle

that is Chrismukkah.
What is happening to you..

You'll see. You'll see too.

You'll all see. You'll all see.

You're really
starting to scare me.

I'm okay with that.

Okeydokey, uh, here we go.

Which tie,
what are you thinkin'?

This one, alright? Or..

[whistles]

Uh, the second one, definitely.

Alright.

So you have
a job interview today?

Well, it's just a meet
and greet, who knows

what'll come of it, but, uh

we gotta dress
for success, right?

Look, I'm workin' on it, kiddo.
I'll find a job.

I know there's a lot of...
extra pressure on the holidays.

There doesn't have to be
any extra pressure

because there doesn't have
to be any holidays, really.

- What are talking about?
- We can skip Christmas.

'I mean, it's not like it's not
gonna happen again next year.'

And holidays just
make people depressed.

Are you...depressed?

I mean, you were supposed
to go to therapy

after Mexico, we never really--

- I'm great. I'm just saying.
- 'Okay. Good.'

Because we're not, we're not
skippin' Christmas. Come on.

I'm gonna find a job,
we're gonna figure out

a way to make
this whole thing work.

And we're gonna have
lots to celebrate about, okay?

Come on. Skipping Christmas.

- You sure about this tie?
- Uh, yeah, definitely.

- Alright.
- You look great.

Skipping Christmas.
What are you, the Grinch?

So, Summer and Anna
are both coming to this party?

Yeah, but neither one's my date.

- And they know that?
- Oh, yeah.

In theory, they both know that.

Come on, man, relax.
Look, it's a big party, okay?

You might be all doom
and gloom, but me? Check it out.

I'm snowflakes, okay? I'm
latkes. Chrismukkah is coming.

- And when Chrismukkah ends?
- Ah.

- I hate when Chrismukkah ends.
- Cohen!

Hi, Ryan. Um, I wanted to know
what the deal was for tonight.

- If you were driving, or--
- Hey, Seth.

So, what time
are you thinking for tonight?

Oh!

Hey, Summer.

- Hey, Anna.
- You guys.

I was thinking that we should
all probably meet there.

How about that? At whatever
time you so choose to get there.

By whatever means.

Sounds great.

Yeah. Perfect.

You better pray
for a Chrismukkah miracle.

I've got Jesus and Moses
on my side, man.

[instrumental music]

Yeah, make sure all that goes
all the way around the bottom.

Now, guys, the balls
are the key to the whole tree.

They need to breathe.

Hey, Kirsten, what do you think?

- It's really something.
- You don't like it?

It's not that,
it's just that, uh, my mom used

to put the Christmas tree
in the foyer.

It's-it's just
a tradition that we have.

Yeah, Caleb told me

but then I thought,
you know what

the holidays are hard enough.

Your father doesn't need
to be reminded of the past.

Caleb needs to enjoy
this Christmas.

Oh, and did Caleb tell you
we need to borrow your office?

We're doing the Santa thing
for the kids

and we need
a holding area for the elves.

What are you doing here?

Your father said
you were working from home.

He did?
He's just full of surprises.

I changed my mind.

If the Land Trust
can come up with $200 million

then surely they can
come up with $300 million.

I just..
I thought this was over.

You can always get a little
more blood out of the stone.

But the stone is myhusband.

Well, I was thinking
we spend the holidays working.

That sounds good. You have fun.

What are you talking about?

I'm gonna do something that

that I haven't done in...ever.

- I'm taking Christmas vacation.
- Don't be ridiculous, Kiki.

You hate
sitting around the house.

Well, not as much as I hate
fighting with you

so you spend the two weeks
buried in legal documents.

I'm gonna be wrapping gifts.

[indistinct chattering]

- I hate Christmas.
- Yeah.

Well, Chrismukkah's
not much better.

You don't wanna know.

Yeah, holidays make
what's bad even worse.

I just wish my dad
would drop the act.

I don't need it.
And I don't need Christmas.

Who do you have
to spend it with?

Christmas Eve with my dad,
Christmas Day with my mom.

Plus, she's making me
go to the stupid

Newport Group holiday
party tonight.

The Cohens are going too, so..

So, at least,
we'll be miserable together.

- Deal?
- Deal.

So am I seeing you after school?

I got some stuff to do, some
shopping. South Coast Plaza.

You're going
to South Coast Plaza, alone?

I don't think
you're ready for that.

No. I think you need a seasoned
expert to protect you.

Well, you know someone?

[instrumental music]

♪ Maybe this Christmas ♪

♪ Will mean something more ♪

♪ Maybe this year ♪

♪ Love will appear ♪

♪ Deeper than ever ♪

♪ Before ♪

♪ And maybe forgiveness ♪

♪ Will ask us to call ♪

♪ Someone we love ♪

♪ Someone we've lost ♪

♪ For reasons
we can't quite recall ♪

♪ Hm ♪

♪ Maybe this Christmas ♪♪

So no luck, huh?

There's a 99 cent store
down the street.

I guess I can't really
afford this place anymore.

Why did we come?

I know it sounds stupid,
but I like it here.

Everything is so perfect.

You walk around feeling
like all your problems

can be solved
by the right nail polish

or a new pair of shoes.

[laughing]

Miss, I'm gonna have
to ask to see your purse.

Hey, what are you doin?

'I can't let you leave
the premises.'

If you don't hand over
your purse right now

you'll give me no choice
but to call the police.

Look, man, why don't you
just back off, alright?

- Ryan, it's okay.
- No, it's not.

Your purse. Now.

What are you doin'?

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Hi! What are you doing,
working from home?

- I'm on vacation.
- Uh, yes. Clearly.

I find reviewing end of year
accounts to be very relaxing.

Okay, I hope
that's a recessive gene.

You should be so lucky.

Look, I haven't taken
a vacation in a while

and I'm...easing...into it.

Hey, yeah, I don't judge, okay?
I only mock.

That you get from your father.

Oh, my God, they're comin' in?

Oh, that's, the..
I got you. What are those?

They came for Ryan,
from his mom and his brother.

You know what he said
about the holidays?

When he talks like that, I have,
I have no idea what to say.

Me neither.
You just have to be yourself.

Yeah, 'cause that
always works so well.

No. Being a family is hard
under any circumstance.

Creating a new one?

That's, that's gotta feel
weird sometimes.

Hm, feeling weird
is right in my wheelhouse.

What, what is it, is grandpa

going crazy with
the company credit card again?

'What is it this time, hookers?
A little blow, perhaps?'

Grandpa likes to dance
with ye white lady?

- What are you talking about?
- I don't know. What is it?

It's, it's..
Hopefully, it's nothing.

You should go get ready
'cause we have to be there soon.

I'll go put on my face.

Hi. This is Kirsten Cohen
from the Newport Group.

My father ordered a survey
of the Balboa Heights

and I've lost my copy. And I
really need to see the document.

So I'm wondering if it's,
uh, possible for you

to fax it over to me?

[indistinct chattering]

I cannot believe this.

- 'Marissa?'
- Julie!

Look, I have to host
the most important event

of my professional career
tonight.

Well, at least,
your priorities are in order.

You know, it's amazing
how all these calamities

keep happenin'
under your watch, Jimmy.

Oh, so I'm, I'm to blame
for this one too?

Where do you think
she learned to steal?

Okay! Stop it.

I'm the one who stole, remember?

I'm the one to blame, not dad.

Look, we're lucky the store
is not pressing charges.

'Okay, now, Marissa and I
were just trying to decide'

what an appropriate
punishment--

Oh, really?

Well, way to rule
with the iron fist, Stalin

but it's not up to her.

No car, no allowance,
no weekends.

- So I can stay home tonight?
- Starting tomorrow.

I won't have my party ruined
by your little sticky fingers.

Look, sweetie,
I know that this time of year

makes everything bad seem worse.

But why did you do this?

I thought it would be..

Look, I wasn't..

It was stupid.

I called the therapist
on the way over here.

- Mom.
- She's right, kiddo.

Therapy was part of the deal
of you moving in here.

Okay, look, I've been doing
way better since Mexico.

4.0 first quarter.
Charity League, social chair.

I've scheduled you
an appointment tomorrow morning

with Dr. Milano,
he's supposed to be great.

Okay, I'm sorry..

...but I can handle it.

This, I..

I won't do it again, I promise.

Honey, I love you.

But I don't believe you.

You might actually
find it helpful.

Yeah. Whatever.
I need to get ready.

And, mom, you have your
big party to throw.

I'm sure you don't want
to keep Caleb waiting.

Hey. What's up, man?
You're back.

So that's pretty cool, right?

Your mom and brother
got you something.

Yeah. Except now, I have
a total of eight gifts to buy.

I only saved enough for one.

Ryan, that sort of reminds me

of the story of Hanukkah, dude.

Check it out. The lamp.
You know what?

I think you get the gist.

- How's the mall?
- Uh, weird.

Yes, you've really painted
a picture for me

I feel like I was there.

Marissa picked up a few things

without paying for them.

- What? As in..
- Shoplifting.

Yeah.

- Yeah, that's weird.
- It's the time of year.

And with everything that's
going on with her family--

Yeah, I know, I know, I'm sure
it's gotta be hard for her.

Yeah. I just wish there was
s-somethin' I could do or say.

- Um! Oh, I got you something.
- No, no, no, no.

- We had an agreement.
- Yeah! But this is different.

This is a requirement.

I know it's a bit minty,
but, uh, you know

we all have one,
so we just thought..

- No, that's cool.
- Well, good.

Maybe, it'll meet a kinder fate
than your wreath did.

But if not,
we still wanted you to have it.

- Thanks.
- 'Alright.'

I'm gonna go make magic happen.

I feel like my hair's
working for me tonight.

[instrumental music]

I'm late. I know. I know.

I'll hurry, you're not
gonna believe this..

...but your father and I
reached a settlement today.

He gouged me a little. Well,
you know, he gouged me a lot.

[scoffs]
He asked you for more money?

Uh, just $250 million.

But we closed the deal.

And he claims
that he did it because of you.

Is that what he told you?

And it seems
your little vacation today

really hit him hard.

Because he says
he wants to spend

the holidays as a family.

You know, maybe...
maybe he's changing.

Or maybe,
he is a...truly fantastic liar.

What's wrong?

I found something today.

'And I don't know
if I can give it to you.'

- 'But I don't know if I can't.'
- Okay, well..

He's gonna know
that I gave this to you.

And he's gonna have
every right to fire me.

You have got to be kidding me.

This changes everything.

And I'm gonna have
to learn how to relax

because I'm gonna have
a lot of free time.

I'm sorry, honey.

Not as sorry as he's gonna be.

'You still wanna go
to the party?'

I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

[doorbell rings]

- Anna. Hey.
- Mistletoe.

Huh? Oh, that's-that's
very festive of you. Uh..

I thought we were meeting there.
I'm going with my parents.

Well, I was thinking maybe
we could go together.

I would love to that,
you know I would

but, uh, don't you think
that would violate

our little Geneva Convention
of dating we have going on?

'Cause I told Summer that,
you know

I'd meet you both there.

Well, how is Summer
ever gonna know?

[doorbell rings]

Mistletoe.
What is she doing here?

What are you doing here?

I thought we had a deal, Cohen.

Which you clearly violated.

- As did you.
- She's got a point.

- You're on her side?
- No.

There are no sides, you guys.

There's only, um, rides

with my parents.
We'll all go together, hm?

- Fine.
- Fine.

[intense music]

So, I have a gift for you.

I'll give it to you later.

I have a present for you too.

I'll also give it to you later.

I can't wait..

...for either.

For both.

Seth, are you ready?
Come on, let's go.

Hi, Summer. Uh, Anna.

Ladies.

Well, this is gonna be
some party.

You know, maybe it's not
such a bad idea.

Uh, what does that mean?

It might be good
to have someone to talk to.

You're someone.
I can't talk to you?

- You can talk to me, it's..
- What?

I need the help
of a trained professional

because I stole a lipstick?

It's not about the lipstick.

Then I guess I don't
really see what it's about.

- You should do what you want.
- I will!

If no one's making
my parents go to therapy

then no one's making me.

You know, I'm the only
normal one in this family.

[sighs]

Sorry.

Hey, you know, I think
I left my wrap upstairs.

Could you grab it for me?
I just need to grab my purse.

Sure.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

♪ Sleigh bells ringing ♪

♪ Are you listening? ♪

♪ In the lane ♪

♪ Snow is glistening ♪

♪ A beautiful sight ♪

♪ We're happy tonight ♪

Mushroom leek crescent,
crab and brie phyllo?

Come on, buddy.
Change it up a little bit.

Enjoy the party.

Come on, Seth.
I'm going this way.

Oh, well, um,
I'm going this way.

Oh, you guys are? I'm gonna go
look for Ryan. Excuse me.

Kirsten, Sandy, welcome.

- Kiki.
- Hey.

Great to see you. Did Sandman
give you our good news?

He did.

I actually need to follow up
on a few things with you, Cal.

- If you don't mind--
- Come, Sanford, it's a party.

Look back on your Berkeley days.

Maybe you can smoke the tree.

"Smoke the tree." Funny.

- I'm gonna nail him now.
- Uh-huh.

- So, what do you think?
- About?

The party. You haven't said
anything. Do you like it?

I mean, I know
how you feel about the tree

but if you can get past that..

- It's great.
- And what did Caleb think?

I mean, has he said
anything to you?

I, I haven't had a chance
to talk to him.

I just want this to be a party
that he'll never forget.

I think you have a shot.

♪ Later on we'll conspire ♪

♪ As we dream by the fire ♪

♪ To face unafraid
the plans that we've made ♪♪

- You okay?
- Yeah. Why?

I don't know.
Today's been kind of intense.

And, and I know you don't
really wanna be here.

I wanna be where you are,
and you're here, so..

Marissa. Oh, you wore
the Chanel. How pretty.

Ryan. You haven't said
hello to Caleb yet.

Yeah, that's because he was
talking to other people, mom

and I didn't
want to interrupt him.

- Well, he's ready now, so..
- I'm not.

- Marissa.
- Mom.

You are a guest at this party.

Only because you
made me come here.

You're in enough trouble
already, young lady.

Well, then, I guess,
I've got nothing to lose.

This is the way it's gonna
be with us from now on?

I don't know.
I'll ask my shrink.

You know what,
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

- I hate the holidays.
- Right there with you.

[indistinct chattering]

- Caleb. You have time to talk?
- No.

Uh, come on, make some.

What is this?

It's a geological survey

of the Heights
which you commissioned

and it somehow
mysteriously failed

to turn over to my office.

- I've no time for this.
- Oh, I think you do.

Allow me to summarize
what you know already.

The Heights
are seismologically unsound.

The whole area is uninsurable.

- It's worthless.
- As is your theory.

There's no way you would have
gotten a building permit.

- And you knew that.
- What do you want, Sandy?

I wanna buy back the Heights.

For a dollar.

You cannot be serious.

Merry Christmas.

[instrumental music]

[exhales sharply]
So...are you ready
for your present?

Yeah, alright, I'm ready.
Hand me the keys.

I'll figure how to drive
a stick eventually.

Very funny, Seth.
Always have to ruin the mood.

That's what I do.

- Ready?
- Mm-hmm.

"The Adventures of Seth Cohen
and Captain Oats.

Volume 1, Confidence."

- You made this?
- No, I bought it on eBay.

I can't believe you did this.
This is amazing.

Hey, this Seth in the story

seems really handsome
and awesome.

I guess I took some liberties.

You dumbed him down
a little bit.

- This is fantastic.
- Thanks.

- So how's Seth doin'?
- He's fine, I think.

I think it's hard to tell
with him sometimes. Why?

Does he ever do things
that sort of..

...make you question
yourself as a, as a parent?

Well, there was the model home
and Tijuana..

...and a thing
with the Range Rover.

And an IMAX movie
that I didn't quite buy.

But they're kids
I mean, they-they do stuff.

They get in trouble, right?

Well, our parents
would've had a heart attack

if they knew half the things
that we did.

Uh, come on, we were good kids.

We were. Weren't we?

- We were good kids.
- Yeah.

And we have good kids.

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

Okay, Summer,
well, hang on for a second.

What are we doing here?
Because Anna went to get drinks.

She's gonna be back in,
like, one second.

- Come here.
- Why?

- Just come here.
- Okay.

Stay there.

♪ Just slip a sable
under the tree ♪

♪ For me ♪

♪ Been an awful good week ♪

I hear you like
comic books, Cohen.

This is true.

♪ ...the chimney to me ♪

'Merry Christmas.'

♪ Come and trim
my Christmas tree ♪

♪ With some decorations.. ♪

Good Lord, I think
I'm gonna pass out.

- You're not going anywhere.
- Okay.

♪ Let's see
if you believe in me ♪♪

- Yes?
- 'What's this?'

Uh, uh, that's, uh, Anna's
present. She made it for me.

- She made it?
- Yeah.

It's amazing.

Yeah, I know, but, hey, your
present's amazing too, okay?

It's really amazing.

Hey, there you...are.

Hey, Anna, Summer was just
giving me her gift. It's cool.

- You're Wonder Woman?
- Yeah. So?

I mean, you look...amazing.

Is that my story?

My God, I made you a comic book.

What am I, eight?

Way to go, Wonder Whore.

Hey, Wonder Woman's
not a whore, okay?

- Stop.
- What are we doing?

I don't know,
this is ridiculous.

Hold up, you guys,
one second, please, okay?

Let's not, let's not,
let's not have one speed bump

derail the whole train, okay?

Let's not throw the baby out
with the bath water.

Let's not...let's make
some more metaphors.

Look, I'm not into talking

about like,
feelings or whatever.

But I like you, okay?
And so does she.

If we don't put
an end to this soon..

Someone's gonna get hurt.

You gotta choose, Cohen.

Did you miss me?
Come on, let's dance.

No. You know how I feel
about dancing.

You know how I don't care.
Come on, it's a party.

Yeah, an office party.

I thought
you wanted to have fun.

Don't make me make you have fun.

I'm guessing that's not eggnog.

So what? Come on.

If you don't wanna dance,
we could just get out of here.

I didn't see you
with a cocktail.

Well, maybe I brought my own.

Want some?

What's going on with you today?

What's the big deal? You drink.

- Not alone in the bathroom.
- I'm just having fun.

Right, 'cause when I met you,
you were having fun passed out

in your driveway, couple weeks
later it was an alley in Mexico.

It's like..
It's like my mom all over again.

[sighs]
Shut up.

- We're getting out of here.
- No, I am.

- Enjoy the party.
- Hey! You can't drive.

Get your hands off of me!

I have enough people in my life
telling me what to do.

See ya.

- Come on, let me drive.
- Get away from me.

Hey! Hey!

I'm fine.

[instrumental music]

[car engine revving]

God!

[Caleb]
'And so, effective immediately'

I'm transferring
the title of the Heights

to the Balboa Land Trust
for the very reasonable price

of one dollar.

And I couldn't have
done it without the help

of my son-in-law, Sandy Cohen.

[applause]

Oh! Thanks, Cal, but I can't
take credit for this.

You did this all on your own.

To Caleb Nichol, the most
generous man in Newport Beach.

Thanks.

Happy Hanukkah, Sandy.

- Great.
- What? You're driving now.

- Yeah, because you're drunk.
- I'm not..

Fine.

- Where is it?
- Come on, put it away.

- I'm trying.
- I'm still on probation.

I said, I'm trying!

[police siren blaring]

Of course this is happening.

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

[indistinct radio chattering]

Happy holidays.
License. Registration.

You got a broken tail light,
you know that?

It just happened.
I'll get it fixed.

You kids haven't been drinking?

No, sir.

Everything alright here, miss?

Yeah, fine. Thanks.

- Miss, would you please..
- 'We got a 459 at 1508'

'Cornwall Lane in West Cliff.'

'All cars in the area
please respond immediately.'

[male #1]
'Copy that.'

I've got a call
I need to get to.

I'm gonna let you go with just
a warning for that tail light.

You get that fixed.

- Drive straight home.
- Yes, sir.

[instrumental music]

[glass shatters]

Stop, okay? You're scaring me.

Good! You're scaring me.

There's drinking, crying, cops.
Well, it must be Christmas.

[breathing heavily]

[music continues]

I left this behind.

I am not doing it again.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, the ladies laid down
the law. It's over.

- What are you gonna do?
- I have no idea.

I don't know. No female's ever
really offered me a, uh, choice.

Per se I really only know how to
handle rejection and ridicule.

I have a really good handle on
ridicule. How was your night?

Marissa got drunk and
we got pulled over by the cops

with an open container of vodka.

Hey, that Marissa, she's really
making life interesting for you.

- Yeah. We got in a fight.
- What about the cop?

Got a radio call,
let us off with a warning

for a busted tail light.

Now you see
why I hate Christmas.

Hang on a second, Ryan,
um, it seems to me

that what we have here
is a Chrismukkah miracle.

Thank you.
Think about this for a second.

The old Ryan,
now, what would've happened?

He would've got busted.
For sure.

But this time, you had
Jesus working for you, right.

And then, you also had Moses.

Working together.
The super team.

'Fighting for you,
to keep you safe'

'and give you a second chance.'

Touched by an angel.

That's nice.
It's got a good ring to it.

I believe my faith
has been restored.

Uh, I should go get ready.
Anna will be here soon.

What are you gonna tell her?

I'm sure the words will come.

Alright, I just think that..

...considering everything,
I've.. Actually, wait.

Hang on. Let me, let me
actually try another approach.

Um..

I think you're awesome
and you're hilarious

and-and you're caliente.

And I think, you know

you're extremely witty
and you're wise

and I kind of can't believe
I'm actually gonna say this..

...but, um, actually,
I think we should be friends.

And I want you to have this.

I don't wanna be your friend.

I don't wanna be your friend.

You can never have too many
copies of "The Goonies."

[doorbell rings]

It was corporate espionage.
I could've had you fired.

Even sued you for breach
of confidentiality.

Dad, you were
extorting the county

putting the company
at huge risks.

Sooner or later, this was gonna
come out and then what?

When you found that report,
you-you could've shown me.

You could've shown me
when it started.

I'm sorry, but I just
didn't see any other way.

It was dishonest,
calculating and ruthless.

Kiki..

...we just might make a real
estate mogul out of you yet.

Well, that's something
to look forward to.

Your mom's ornaments.
The tree looks nice.

There may be a gift
under there for you.

Maybe.

Hey, where you goin'?

We were thinking
about getting a movie.

Marissa's wants to go to see
her therapist this morning.

Oh, she's going through a lot.

Yeah, I thought I'd go with her.

Yeah, you could..

...or, uh...not.

Now, Marissa's gonna have
to figure this out by herself

and you gotta let her.

You're here with us now.

You don't have to be
the parent anymore.

- Movie, huh?
- Yeah, but it's my pick.

The selection of a movie
is something of an art, you..

I came here three times before

I actually walked
through that door.

I know you.
You go to Harbor, right?

Marissa Cooper. Hi!

Yeah! You're the girl at school
who organizes things.

Parties and stuff, right?

Social chair
is what that's called.

- You go to Harbor?
- No. No, I go to Pacific.

Oliver Trask.

For a social chair..

Well, I don't find you
to be very social at all.

Gonna have to talk
to somebody about a recall.

This is...
a psychiatrist's office.

It's kind of embarrassing.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

This is totally embarrassing.

So, let's suggest
the obvious and move on.

What's wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?

Well, if I knew,
I wouldn't be here.

You're not an alcoholic, yet.

You've OD'd at least once.

'Pills, I'd say.
Muscle relaxants, definitely.'

Painkillers.

You didn't really want
to hurt yourself.

Kurt Cobain, yeah,
he wanted to hurt himself.

♪ Maybe a sinner ♪

You know,
coming here wasn't my idea.

Maybe not.

But you wouldn't be here
if you didn't wanna be.

You wanna know
why you are the way you are.

[door unlocks]

That's you.
I'm waiting on the next door.

♪ My will I still.. ♪♪

See you next week.

♪ I'll have a blue ♪

♪ Christmas without you ♪

How did it go with the girls?

- Seth Cohen starter pack?
- I think I'm past that now.

- Is that what I think it is?
- Yeah! Figured I'd hang it.

Alright, man,
another Chrismukkah convert.

Nice.

I never doubted it for a second.
Check it out.

I already put the hook up
just in case.

- Hey.
- Alright, what'll it be?

"Fiddler on the Roof,"
"It's a Wonderful Life."

Or my selection, "Sylvester
Stallone's Over the Top."

Isn't that
the arm-wrestling movie?

[imitating Sylvester]
Arm-wrestling classic.

Oh, hey! Uh,
Merry Chrismukkah, you guys.

Oh! Thank you.

♪ Yeah you'll be doing ♪

♪ Alright ♪

♪ With your Christmas of white ♪

♪ But I'll have a blue ♪

♪ Blue blue blue Christmas ♪♪

[instrumental music]