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1
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,276
So, let me get this straight.
2
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,612
You told our neighbor who's been so rude,
3
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,989
that we'd take care of his big creepy dog,
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,491
just so he can jet off to Cabo.
5
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,326
I think it'll be fun having
a dog around the house.
6
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,161
Look at him. He's so sweet.
7
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,205
- Ring, ring.
- Oh, that is the call.
8
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,040
That is the call. Okay.
Ring, ring.
9
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,124
Where is my phone?
10
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,876
Uh, I think the dog's sitting on it.
11
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,794
Oh, okay. I gotta take this. Shoo-shoo.
12
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:27,837
Bye-bye.
13
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:31,031
Ring, ring.
14
00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:35,094
Oh my God. The dog swallowed my phone.
15
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,764
Don't worry, this too shall pass.
16
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,099
Laugh, laugh, laugh
with the delightful callback.
17
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,226
And that's our show.
18
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,960
Very funny. Looking good.
19
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:44,813
It's good.
20
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,439
Okay. I hate to admit it.
21
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,483
You were right about the Josie joke.
22
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,401
Cleveland is funnier than Milwaukee.
23
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,320
And yet in real life?
Milwaukee, funnier.
24
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,614
Hey Gordon, Hannah.
Really nice rewrite last night.
25
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,366
- Good, good.
- I just have a few tiny concerns
26
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,909
about a couple of spots specifically...
27
00:00:57,933 --> 00:01:00,653
Yeah, you know what? Hold that thought.
Just hold. Let me grab a pen.
28
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,330
Be right with you.
29
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,147
What the hell?
30
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,876
Yeah. So I thought it
played much better, right?
31
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,378
Not an idiot.
32
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,420
What?
33
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,381
Well, your dad, he's not grabbing a pen.
34
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,532
- No, he just said he's...
- He's not coming back.
35
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,471
How can I help?
36
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:21,057
Well, he never wants to hear
any of my thoughts or concerns.
37
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,725
I'm sorry. Maybe you should just
38
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:23,852
work out your shit with him.
39
00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:26,312
I don't think you
realize how hurtful it is
40
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,356
to have him just walk out on me like that.
41
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,191
I mean, I might have some idea.
42
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,234
Focus, Hannah, please.
43
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,177
We're, we're talking about me.
44
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,249
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
45
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,876
It's women you've never met,
46
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,711
in a house you've never been to,
47
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,045
doing who knows what?
48
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,589
Yep. The woman who leads it
49
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,674
is supposed to be amazing.
50
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:57,468
They call it a night of
female self-discovery.
51
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,470
They also call it a pyramid scheme.
52
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,555
Surprise, surprise.
53
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:03,892
The least introspective person
in the world mocks my journey.
54
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,518
No, I think it's great.
55
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,937
Paying big bucks to let
the shaman of Brent wood
56
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,731
cleanse your aura while
you drink Chardonnay
57
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,691
and burn vagina-scented candles.
58
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,776
Ha, ha.
At least I'm trying to improve myself.
59
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,777
What have you done lately?
60
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,197
Up your budget to
a higher class of hooker?
61
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:18,615
Well, actually the cost
62
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,617
of a regular hooker is way up.
63
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,035
They say it's the supply chain.
64
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,828
You're gross and whatever
you're paying those women
65
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,371
is not enough.
66
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,332
Oh really, Kelly? Well, that's it.
67
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,376
I'm not letting you rub your cock
against my arm anymore.
68
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,712
Honey, I wouldn't let my cock
touch any part of you.
69
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,780
I wear a condom just to return your texts.
70
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,593
I'll be right back.
Okay, honey.
71
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,136
Hey, if they do tarot cards,
72
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,514
can you ask my grandma
where she hid all her jewelry?
73
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:44,373
That's not how tarot works!
74
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:48,978
Did you find a pen yet?
75
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,523
Hannah, stop giving in to these people.
76
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,608
You gotta learn to give
yourself a little distance.
77
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,860
"These people." You mean
the human beings that we work with.
78
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,613
Who are the reason you can afford a house,
and a second family.
79
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,406
Can I tell you something about actors?
80
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,326
They are bottomless pits of need.
81
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,578
Oh, they didn't get nominated for this.
82
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,623
Oh, the designer didn't
give me a free tux for that.
83
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,792
The Rolex watch they got in the gift bag,
84
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,752
wasn't as nice as the Porsches they gave
85
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,295
to the cast of Will & Grace.
86
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,755
Wait. Seriously,
they gave them Porsches?
87
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,674
Yeah, just the shitty ones,
the Boxsters.
88
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,968
Hey, sorry to bother you guys.
89
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:24,055
But, um, I'm having
a little bit of a problem.
90
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,932
And I was hoping we could talk.
91
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,392
Of course, Zack, we can talk.
92
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,269
What's on your mind? Tell us.
93
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,229
I'm kind of in the middle
of a custody dispute
94
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,355
with my ex-girlfriend.
95
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,358
- Oh, you have a kid?
- No, a dog.
96
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,277
Ah.
97
00:03:36,301 --> 00:03:37,610
Okay, you know what, Zack buddy?
98
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:38,611
I really do wanna hear this.
99
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,053
Let me just go grab a pen.
100
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,074
Yeah. Okay.
101
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,201
We can, we can talk until he gets back.
102
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,435
It's my little Butternut.
103
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:49,414
She's the sweetest,
cutest dog you've ever seen.
104
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,875
Oh, is that why you looked
so sad after the run-through?
105
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,960
Yeah. Every dog reminds me of her.
106
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,253
Even stuffed ones.
107
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,963
Marcy and I got her when we were together.
108
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,965
But she's so mad at me
for breaking up with her,
109
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,341
she won't let me see Butternut.
110
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,926
But that is a long story.
111
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:02,845
Yeah, you don't have to...
112
00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:05,037
We met at my friend
David's bar mitzvah.
113
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:07,849
She was right behind me
in the grind train.
114
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,392
We're star-crossed lovers.
115
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,502
Just like in my movie Bromeo and Juliet.
116
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,691
So how did, how'd it go
with the Kramer vs. Kramer,
117
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:17,775
but with dogs.
118
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,736
Oh, okay.
Okay, maybe you have a point.
119
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,738
Yeah. I've been doing this a long time.
120
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,055
You know the truth is...
121
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,349
I'm a little in over my head.
122
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,994
And I need to learn what you know.
123
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:31,039
So, can I sit you down some time
and ask you some questions?
124
00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:32,957
Yeah. Of course.
125
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:36,044
I'd be happy to toss
a few pearls your way.
126
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,213
Great. Um, I don't know.
How about dinner?
127
00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:39,237
Are you free tonight?
128
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,174
I could be. Yes.
129
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,842
Yeah. Why don't we do one of those
130
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,552
old school places on Hollywood Boulevard.
131
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,679
You know, where there's
an elderly man who still has to work
132
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,140
and he makes you a Caesar salad
right at the table.
133
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,808
And half the desserts are served on fire.
134
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,102
You had me at elderly man
who still has to work.
135
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,127
Great.
136
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:01,820
- Oh, it's so refreshing.
- Delicious. Yeah.
137
00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:03,613
I think I could drink
this literally all day.
138
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,907
And I'm going to. So where...
139
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,784
Well, this can't be good.
140
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,577
Oh, it's really good.
141
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,496
- Guess what?
- What?
142
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,021
I'm on mushrooms.
143
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:14,958
Seriously?
144
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,418
Oh yeah. We took mushrooms.
Lots of 'em.
145
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,212
Wow. Check you out.
146
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,423
It's no big deal.
I'm just finding my authentic self
147
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,782
that's uniquely me.
148
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,010
Just like Gwyneth Paltrow
and her Goop show.
149
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,513
And you're calling me because?
150
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,348
Because I wanted you to know that
151
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,600
you were completely wrong about my night
152
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,352
of female self-discovery.
153
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,604
Except for the vagina candle.
We did do that.
154
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,672
Wow.
155
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,510
Oh, shit. Shit. Shit.
156
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,932
Right this way, Mr. Gilman.
157
00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:55,874
Reed.
158
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,667
I thought I was meeting Hannah.
159
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,919
Oh, me too.
160
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:03,256
Hannah sends her regrets,
along with these drinks.
161
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,866
She also wanted me to give you this pen.
162
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,869
She said you were always running out.
163
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:14,333
It's... it's delicious.
164
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,562
Mm!
165
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,129
Mmm.
166
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,143
Well, this is it.
167
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,316
I'm nervous.
168
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,628
It really means a lot
to me that you're here.
169
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:44,088
Well, I want everyone on the show
to feel like they can come to me
170
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,424
with their problems
and to think of me as a friend.
171
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:47,717
Awesome.
172
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,511
Hey, this weekend
you should come by my house.
173
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:50,803
I just put in a recording studio,
174
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,587
and I'm gonna try
rapping for the first time.
175
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,935
- Zack?
- Marcy.
176
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,520
What the hell are you doing here?
177
00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:01,898
- Well, I, um...
- Say the thing we talked about.
178
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,359
I want my frickin' dog
and I want her now.
179
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:05,236
That wasn't the thing.
180
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:07,612
Butternut wants nothing
to do with you.
181
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,113
- You A-hole.
- Okay,
182
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,949
why don't we all just take a breath...
183
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:13,034
Oh, is this your new skank girlfriend?
184
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,078
Yeah. And we do it all the time.
185
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,288
Jesus Chri... No, no.
186
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,873
Hi. I'm Hannah. I work with Zack.
187
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,524
Whatever you guys can come in.
188
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,840
Oh, wow. That's a lot of toys.
189
00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:29,259
What? They're not toys.
190
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,577
They're celebrity-themed collectibles.
191
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,931
- Where's Butternut?
- Why should I tell you that? Huh?
192
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,141
You never told me when you spent all night
193
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,894
playing Dance Dance Revolution
with Becca.
194
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:43,273
For the millionth time,
we're just dance friends.
195
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,650
No one is just dance friends with Becca.
196
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,153
I'm sorry to interrupt.
You know, I just realized I, um,
197
00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:50,196
I gotta go grab a... a pen.
198
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,782
You know what? You should both go.
199
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,201
I'm just thinking about
what's best for Butternut.
200
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,662
No you're not. You're just
using Butternut as a weapon
201
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,788
to get back at Zack for leaving.
202
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,166
Oh, suddenly the hottie
just can read my mind?
203
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,459
The point is, Zack
wants to be in Butternut's life,
204
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,068
and you should want that too.
205
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:09,299
We could share her.
206
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,758
I could take her to work with me.
207
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:13,303
So she's supposed to just
sit in your trailer all day?
208
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,930
Well, I'll put a bed in my office.
She can hang out there whenever she wants.
209
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,123
Fine.
210
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,061
Thank you so much for being here.
211
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,730
Yeah, I'm so psyched
for you to see your dog.
212
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:25,857
Oh my God. It's gonna be like
those Instagram videos
213
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,151
where doggies are,
are reunited with their owners
214
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,885
after not seeing them for a while.
215
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,765
- The fuck.
- Butternut!
216
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:38,244
Oh, she remembers me!
217
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,521
Aw
218
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,983
Oh, and she grew more hair!
219
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,781
Oh, here we go.
220
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,052
Clay!
221
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,887
- What, Bree?
- I'm lost.
222
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,764
A hummingbird invited me to her nest,
223
00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,265
but we got separated.
224
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,059
Do you see the house you were at?
225
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:03,269
Or any of the other entitled white women?
226
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:06,231
- No.
- Bree, tell me exactly what you see.
227
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,399
When my eyes are open or closed?
228
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,068
When they're open, I see a fence.
229
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,677
When they're closed, dragons.
230
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:15,532
Okay. Look, I'm coming to get you.
231
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,325
Do you know how to drop a pin?
232
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,452
I don't have a fucking pin!
233
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,995
Not that kind of pin.
234
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,872
- Listen to me.
- Okay.
235
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,040
When we hang up,
236
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,960
I want you to hold up your phone and say,
237
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:29,963
"Hey Siri, send Clay my location."
238
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:31,631
Okay, okay.
239
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:32,841
Repeat that.
240
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,408
Sarah, send me on vacation!
241
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,400
You a Clippers fan by any chance?
242
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,609
Not really.
243
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,861
Lakers?
244
00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:54,195
Actually, I've been living in New York
245
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,280
for the last 15 years, so.
246
00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,614
It's Nicks.
247
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:58,724
Not a big NBA guy.
248
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,477
So what the fuck would
you bring up New York for?
249
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,665
You, you're something else, man.
250
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,000
Okay.
251
00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:09,002
What, what is your problem with me?
252
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,753
Well, for one you don't like basketball.
253
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,422
Fucking-A. I'm serious.
254
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,757
No, I know that.
You're always serious.
255
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,509
And you over think everything,
256
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,969
then you're never happy.
257
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,596
You are never happy.
258
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:22,599
I, you get a script,
and instead of thinking, gee,
259
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:25,685
what can I do to make this the funniest,
and the best it can be?
260
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,271
You decide that, no, right away it stinks.
261
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,772
The script stinks and I stink
262
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,673
and everything needs to be rewritten.
263
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,903
And what makes it especially galling,
264
00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:36,321
is that you actually have the rare gift
265
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:37,822
of being fucking funny.
266
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,532
I'm telling you, your comedic timing when
267
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:42,410
you don't get in your own way,
swear to George Burns,
268
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,620
it's impeccable.
269
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,163
It's like, like music.
270
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:48,333
You could be one of the greatest
comedic actors of all time.
271
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:49,918
You remember those hilarious movies
272
00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:52,587
that Sir Laurence Olivier
and Daniel Day-Lewis did?
273
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,088
What...? No.
274
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,633
Exactly.
'Cause they couldn't do it.
275
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,843
But you, you have the superpower, man.
276
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,387
You, you can make
millions of people laugh.
277
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,640
And to put that out into the world,
278
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:08,353
to bring people a little joy
at the end of their shit day.
279
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,396
Fuck you for not appreciating that.
280
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,481
'Cause I swear to God,
281
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,982
that is as good and honorable thing
282
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,508
as a man can do.
283
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,471
Uh...
284
00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,432
Well, Gordon, I'm speechless.
285
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:23,851
Oh.
286
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:26,538
Shit, if I knew that's all it took,
287
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:28,480
I would've complimented you years ago.
288
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,025
Bree!
289
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,571
Damn.
290
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,155
Duchess?
291
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:42,202
Got a big movie producer here
who wants to meet you.
292
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:47,058
Oh, shit.
293
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:50,335
- Die dragon!
- Whoa! Jesus.
294
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,675
You're joking.
295
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,321
Okay, here we go.
296
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,115
In the truck and I'll drive you home.
297
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:05,869
Whoa, toxic masculinity much?
298
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,662
Bree, I'm not fucking around.
299
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,247
I have some place I need to be.
300
00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,374
And these aren't the type
of people you keep waiting.
301
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:14,151
Okay, Clay.
302
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:19,674
It is too blue in here.
303
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,992
No, no!
304
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,095
But do they call me
305
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,472
MacGregor the ship builder? No.
306
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,142
You see that pier?
I built that pier me self
307
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,351
with me own hands.
308
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,812
It could withstand the...
The mightiest of storms,
309
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:36,107
but do they ever call me
MacGregor the pier builder?
310
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,150
No!
311
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:39,259
But you fuck one goat.
312
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,618
He's MacGregor the goat fucker.
313
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,828
How have you never heard that joke?
314
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,413
Oh my God.
315
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,832
You need, you need to read less.
316
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,441
Oh, God. You are funny.
317
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:56,920
I didn't write damn the thing.
318
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,338
Who writes those things? I don't...
319
00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:00,131
Somewhere there's a genius in a basement.
320
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:04,117
No, no, Gordon.
I mean you are funny.
321
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,054
I don't say that enough.
322
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,097
- You never say it.
- Well, but I should.
323
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,099
Because it's true. Okay?
324
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,185
And you are smart.
325
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:14,044
And that's why I get so...
326
00:13:15,087 --> 00:13:16,397
Never mind. Forget it.
327
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,649
No. What, what, what?
328
00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,150
Say it, you schmuck.
329
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:20,717
What... That's why what?
330
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,614
It's why I get so frustrated.
331
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:28,409
You are smart. You are quick.
332
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:30,328
You are perceptive,
333
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:34,165
and more sensitive than
you want anyone to think.
334
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:37,377
But I don't understand why you,
335
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:39,170
why you don't go there.
336
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,380
Why you don't dig deeper.
337
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:41,714
I mean, we could have told stories
338
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,759
about things that
real families go through.
339
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:46,094
- Yeah, well.
- You know what I mean?
340
00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:49,597
And instead, you know, what did we do?
341
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:53,476
We did an entire episode
based on a Y2K pun.
342
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,686
Ugh.
343
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,147
Why too gay? Yes.
344
00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:59,607
Boy, that Brian Boitano.
He could land a triple Axel.
345
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:00,568
Couldn't land a single joke.
346
00:14:00,592 --> 00:14:02,193
See, that's what I mean.
347
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:03,736
I am trying to tell you something
348
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,113
that I've wanted to say for a long time.
349
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:06,531
- That's hard for me to say.
- Okay.
350
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,658
And you, you always
have to go for the joke.
351
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,451
I didn't hear a laugh.
Did you hear a laugh?
352
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:13,163
You could be so good if you just tried.
353
00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:15,748
No, Gordon. Why?
Why don't you try?
354
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,524
Wait, wait, you have so much potential.
355
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,253
What are you?
My fourth grade teacher now?
356
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:21,445
Gordon, I mean it.
357
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,866
You are better than
that genius in the basement.
358
00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:29,119
Very nice of you to say.
359
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,163
Thank you.
360
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,216
I think that's the guy
who invented fire.
361
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,052
'Cause he's not young.
362
00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:49,073
Who's daddy's little girl?
363
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,034
You are.
364
00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:52,267
Yes, you are. That's right!
365
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:55,747
Well, I have to admit.
366
00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:58,458
I haven't seen her this happy
in a really long time.
367
00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:01,586
Oh, do you wanna cuddle
with your Aunt Hannah?
368
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:04,631
You know, I really don't
think that's necessary.
369
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:06,883
Oh, she's got kisses to spare.
370
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,384
Just don't kiss her straight on the mouth,
371
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,094
because sometimes she spits up a little.
372
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,287
Oh, well. God, self-control initiate.
373
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,165
Ah...
374
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,523
What happened to us, Zack?
375
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:25,151
Well, you got jealous of
every woman I worked with,
376
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:26,986
and I like working with
women who aren't scared
377
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,071
of my girlfriend.
378
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,989
Yeah. I guess that wasn't cool of me.
379
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,616
I've grown up a lot since then.
380
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:32,909
Ahh!
381
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,536
Maybe we just weren't
right for each other.
382
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,038
- How can you say that?
- We're totally different.
383
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:39,666
I'm an early riser,
you stay up late at night.
384
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,334
I like watching Rick and Morty,
385
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,398
you like watching things
that aren't Rick and Morty.
386
00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:46,923
Okay. We can share custody.
387
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,341
You can take her half the week,
388
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,426
and we can trade off
on holidays and weekends.
389
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,553
I get Halloween.
390
00:15:51,577 --> 00:15:52,804
Cool.
391
00:15:52,828 --> 00:15:54,889
You can take her tonight if you want.
392
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,975
Really? Oh, sick.
393
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,185
Hannah said that she can watch her
while I'm at rehearsal.
394
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,752
I did say that. Yeah.
395
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,565
Hey, Marcy,
I just want you to know,
396
00:16:03,589 --> 00:16:05,358
that I don't regret you and me.
397
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:07,443
Because something really
good came out of us.
398
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,927
This little ray of sunshine.
399
00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:11,824
Oh.
400
00:16:11,848 --> 00:16:15,034
I think something just came out
of this little ray of sunshine.
401
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,393
Aw.
402
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:24,085
Where are we?
403
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:26,296
Look, I don't have time
to take you home first.
404
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:27,755
So just sit here,
405
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:30,633
and look at all the pretty
water bottles and shit.
406
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,594
What is this? Your whore's house?
407
00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:33,887
Your crack den?
408
00:16:33,911 --> 00:16:34,929
Oh, do you really wanna play
409
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,307
the drug card right now, duchess?
410
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,642
Now this is not a great neighborhood.
411
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,270
So just lock the doors and sit.
412
00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:43,855
Do you understand?
413
00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:46,232
You are a bad seed, Clay Barber.
414
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,758
A bad seed.
415
00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:49,926
Stay.
416
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:55,349
Oh my God.
417
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:08,403
Ugh!
418
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:37,408
Thank you for sharing with us, Janice.
419
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:38,432
Keep coming back.
420
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:42,020
So, is anyone celebrating today?
421
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:46,793
Hello. My name is Clay.
422
00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:48,169
Hi, Clay.
423
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:51,113
I'm an alcoholic and I'm
celebrating 30 days sober.
424
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,202
Hello.
425
00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:00,789
This is an AA meeting.
426
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:03,226
That's right, love.
427
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,727
Come on in, take a seat.
428
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,104
That's not necessary. She was just...
429
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,939
My name is Bree.
430
00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,149
Hi Bree.
431
00:18:09,173 --> 00:18:12,050
- Please don't.
- And I'm on mushrooms.
432
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:14,571
Okay, so...
433
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,031
What is the one thing you don't wanna hear
434
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,117
after blowing Willie Nelson?
435
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,869
What?
436
00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,186
I'm not Willie Nelson.
437
00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:26,666
- Okay. Yeah.
- Is that, is that good? Is that good?
438
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:29,002
Look at that. Look at that!
439
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,670
Chuck Lorre gets a star
440
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,463
on the Hollywood walk of fame.
441
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:33,882
How is that possible?
442
00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:35,407
Holy sh... You know,
443
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:38,178
maybe like 10 years ago.
444
00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:40,847
I finally get the nerve
to do another pilot.
445
00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:42,974
Network passes.
446
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:46,102
Why? 'Cause they had to
put three new Chuck Lorre
447
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:49,230
shows on the air to go
with his 11 other shows.
448
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:51,191
- Oh, fuck that guy.
- Right?
449
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:53,592
No, you, you should have a star.
450
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,653
- Yes.
- I mean, you know.
451
00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:58,239
Let me, let me say this to Chuck Lorre.
452
00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,365
What are you doing?
453
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,534
I'm gonna piss on Chuck Lorre's star.
454
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,329
- No, wait, Gordon, no.
- No, I need to do this.
455
00:19:04,353 --> 00:19:05,997
- You can't do this.
- I hate this guy.
456
00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,416
I hate this guy. Don't try and stop me.
457
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,793
- I'm not gonna.
- No.
458
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:11,944
Give a minute.
459
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:15,697
I can't pee.
460
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,218
Hey.
461
00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:21,078
Hey, I'll do it for you.
462
00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:23,890
Seriously?
463
00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:24,914
Yep.
464
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:26,707
What a guy.
465
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,020
Go ahead.
466
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:30,254
But do it fast.
467
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:36,051
Jesus. That's a powerful
stream you got there.
468
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:40,281
You power wash graffiti
on the weekends with that?
469
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:43,225
For, you my friend,
it is the least I can do.
470
00:19:43,976 --> 00:19:45,519
No!
471
00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:49,523
Okay. Just peed a little.
472
00:19:58,115 --> 00:19:59,115
Hey.
473
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,845
Hey!
474
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,596
How you feeling this morning?
475
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,038
Really, just...
476
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,433
chipper.
477
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,644
Thanks for coming to get me last night.
478
00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:11,479
No problem. Uh, and next time
479
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:12,730
you wanna do drugs in the woods,
480
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,649
I know some guys
who will do that for free.
481
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:16,192
I'm sure you do.
482
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:19,821
Uh, I also wanted to say
that I think it's really,
483
00:20:19,845 --> 00:20:22,699
it's great what you're
doing with the meetings.
484
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:24,993
Oh yeah. Well, we got
a second chance here.
485
00:20:25,017 --> 00:20:26,161
Just trying not to blow it.
486
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:27,453
But don't tell anyone,
487
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,164
I have a bad reputation to protect.
488
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,707
Okay.
489
00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:33,626
I'm glad you're exploring
or whatever you want to call it.
490
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:35,336
'Cause you used to be so uptight.
491
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,797
- I wasn't uptight.
- Okay.
492
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:41,301
Vain, narcissistic, prone to meltdowns,
bad at driving.
493
00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:43,011
Fake nice to waiters in a way that shows
494
00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:44,554
you think you're better than them.
495
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:45,704
Uptight is fine.
496
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:50,018
It's funny. I needed to
stop getting loaded
497
00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:52,395
and you needed to start.
498
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:55,815
Who knows? Fifteen years ago,
if I'd had seen this side of you,
499
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:58,693
maybe I'd have tried
to get in there myself.
500
00:20:58,717 --> 00:21:00,236
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
501
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,572
Well, 15 years ago, if I was on drugs,
502
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:03,972
- I might have let you.
- Heh.
503
00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:11,188
Oh.
504
00:21:12,523 --> 00:21:14,083
Hey, you.
505
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:16,753
That was quite a cute move
you pulled last night.
506
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:17,921
Sorry about that.
507
00:21:17,945 --> 00:21:20,840
And I think you're right about
getting involved in the actors' lives.
508
00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:23,051
No, it was actually really good.
509
00:21:23,075 --> 00:21:25,845
We drank and we talked and, you know,
510
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:27,805
we said some things
that needed to be said.
511
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,682
Oh, I'm glad to hear that.
512
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:31,017
Yeah, so.
513
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:33,377
Oh, also we promised
a cop a part in the show.
514
00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:36,272
- I won't ask.
- Yeah.
515
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:39,067
By the way,
I love that restaurant.
516
00:21:39,091 --> 00:21:42,362
Maybe, you and I could
go some time for real,
517
00:21:42,386 --> 00:21:43,929
and have a couple of drinks.
518
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:46,866
I don't know.
519
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,576
Getting involved in show runners' lives.
520
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,370
They're just, they're
a bottomless pit of need.
521
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:51,704
Call back, it's cute.
522
00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:53,665
All right. Everybody already in there?
523
00:21:53,689 --> 00:21:54,982
- Yeah.
- Okay. I'll be right in.
524
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:56,501
Hannah.
525
00:21:56,525 --> 00:21:58,503
- I'm Hugo. One of the grips.
- Yeah.
526
00:21:58,527 --> 00:21:59,879
Zack was telling me you're good at
527
00:21:59,903 --> 00:22:01,548
helping people with their problems.
528
00:22:01,572 --> 00:22:03,091
- Oh.
- You see,
529
00:22:03,115 --> 00:22:05,134
my wife just left me
'cause I bought a jet ski
530
00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:06,158
without telling her.
531
00:22:07,286 --> 00:22:08,513
I'm sorry to hear that.
532
00:22:08,537 --> 00:22:12,141
Um, let's talk in my office.
533
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,458
Oh, sure. Yeah.
534
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:18,881
Or some place else.
38157
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