All language subtitles for Reboot s01e02 New Girl.eng

♪ upbeat playful music playing ♪

BREE:
Honey, relax.

Don't worry. It's gonna be fine.

- This was a bad idea.
This was a really bad idea.

- No.
- We should've told him.

And I hate how nervous he makes me.
Do you see me?

- I do.
- Well, you're not alone.

I mean, everybody has a fucked up
relationship with their parents.

REED: Yeah.
- Not me. I love my mom.

She's, like, my best friend.
- See?

BREE:
When I was young and I didn't win a beauty pageant,

my mom would tell me it was
because my eyes were too close together.

As though her marrying her second cousin
had nothing to do with it.

- And you tell whoever's detailing it,
that if I see swirl marks on it,

I will come kill their family.

- Okay. Which car is it?

- It's the Bentley.

- Which spot is it in?

- The spot with the Bentley.

Oh! Hey! Okay.

Look at this little, uh, menagerie.
What's happening here?

- Gordon, obviously we
were all thrown yesterday

to find out that Hannah was your daughter,

but, you know,
family dynamics, they're so,

I don't know, what's the word
I'm looking for? Um--

- [inaudible] Could you find it
while I'm still young, please?

- Gordon, we want her to stay
for the good of the show.

- Hey... just yesterday,
I asked her to stay,

and she said, quote,
"I'd rather work at SeaWorld."

- And then I had to explain to him
why that's an insult.

- Who doesn't love
the Dolphin Spectacular?

- The dolphins.

- So, what is it? Now you wanna stay?
Why? What?

- I, I wanna do the script that I wrote.

- Really? 'Cause it felt like you
wanted to shove it up my ass.

- No. I--

I wanna tell the truth.

Okay? Because you based
Lawrence on yourself--

- Yes.
- and your new family,

and you left out the old family
that you abandoned.

- Didn't abandon. I sent checks.

- Fuck your money.

- Whoa.
[Gordon chuckles]

- Nice. Nice to know you
got your mom's mouth.

- This is the magic.

This is how we take
this show to the next level.

Gordon, come on.
Lawrence is complicated, now flawed.

The, The confrontation
in the last scene alone is mwah!

I mean, it's, it's revelatory,
it's profound, it rips your soul out.

- None, None of that sounds funny.

- It's my life, and it wasn't funny.

- Okay... How 'bout you guys?
You, You seem very quiet.

- I... I do like there's no kid in it.

- I like that I'm not a grandma.

That's pretty much
the last stop in Hollywood.

Grandmas,

playing a judge on Law & Order,

dead.

- All right, so, basically,
that's my choice?

I do your script
or I can go jump in a lake?

- I mean, I don't care where you jump.

- If I may--

- What's happening now?

- Seems to me,

Gordon wants one thing,
Hannah wants another.

REED:
Mm.

- So,

I'm thinking of something yellow.

- Why is he pointing?
I don't know what this means.

Okay, you know what?
All right, [indistinct].

We'll read it at the table
on Monday, okay? - Yeah!

That's what I'm talkin' about!

Come on, guys, let's bring it in.

Step Right Up on three.

- No reason to do that.

ZACK:
Come on, guys, just jump right in.

All right. One, two, three.
Step Right Up!

♪ theme music playing ♪

BREE:
I never had a grasp of the language.

I've been telling you that for

- the last 10 minutes.
REED: You just said, "Shh, don't talk to her."

- Hello, actors.
BREE: No, I didn't.

- I'm Elaine Kim.
- Hello.

- I work at Hulu.

- Oh! Oh my goodness, well--
- Oh, hi!

- welcome to our sandbox.
Let's build some castles.

- Ignore him.
My name is Bree

and I'll send you my sizes
for the Christmas gift.

Honey, I'm kidding.
- Oh, good.

This is my first time on a set.

BOTH: Oh!
- I'm new to humor.

- What do you do?
- Vice President of Comedy.

- Mm.
- Fun!

So, where'd we find a gem like you?

- Yeah, actually, it is a funny story.
- Oh, okay.

- I was at Millipede doing
content software integration

as they pivoted to video,

when Millipede was
acquired by Deedle.

So, I migrated
to streaming-data analysis

when Fox acquired Deedle,
then Disney acquired Fox

and integrated Deedle
system architecture

into all of their streaming platforms.

[Elaine laughs]
- Mm, mm.

[Reed chuckles]

[softly] Say something.
BREE [softly]: You say something.

[actors chattering]

- Holy shit, is that your mom?

- Yeah.

- What's she doin' here?

- Uh, she loves me.

- Your mom still comes
to set with you every day?

Dude, that's creepy.
Cut the cord.

- It's not creepy.

- Oh my god.
Is that the--

That's not the actress
playing your daughter, is it?

- I wouldn't think so.
Her character description was

frazzled, unkempt, and zaftig.

HANNAH:
Yeah, no, that's definitely not her.

We hired this amazing actress
who looks like a real person,

not a TV version of what
a real person looks like. - Thank you.

Thank you.
- That sounds right.

HANNAH: So, she's--
BREE: Why is she sitting down?

- I don't know.
- Why is she so pretty?

- I don't know.
- Well, it'd be super if you could find out, Hannah.

- All right, let's, uh,
saddle up, everybody.

Let's do this!

Welcome, welcome.

You know, as Jesus once said,
"Oy, it's good to be back."

[actors chuckling]

Uh, a, uh, warm, great, big,
consensual hug and kiss to everybody,

to our original cast:
Bree, and Reed, and Clay,

and Zack, who hopefully
will not, uh, keep comin' up

and punchin' me in the schmeckle.

And, uh, how about a special welcome
to the newest member of our cast,

playing Reed's daughter, Whitney.

How 'bout a hand for Timberly Fox!

[applause]
Yeah!

Timberly, uh, made quite a splash
on a, uh, reality dating show called--

The name? I'm sorry.
What is the name, honey?

- Fuck Buddy Mountain.

GORDON:
Fuck Buddy Mountain, yes.

And to think Rob and Laura Petrie
had to sleep in twin beds.

[chuckles]
And, you know, speaking of daughters,

we would not be here without
my own very talented daughter.

Hannah, get up and say a few words.
- Oh.

Um, um--

[chuckles]
- Well, there you go. That's a few words right there.

All right! With that, we'll turn
it over to our director, Jerry.

[Jerry grumbles]
Wake up!

Take us away.

- Uh, "Act One, Scene A.
Interior, Kitchen. Day.

"Jake and Cody eat lunch
at the kitchen table.

Josie enters, exhausted."

- "Hey, Mom. How was hot yoga?"

- "I haven't gone yet.
I was just outside getting the mail.

"This is just the effects
of global warming.

[actors chuckling]

"Can I ask you something?

Have you noticed Lawrence acting strange?"

- "Now that you mention it, yes.
For the last 25 years."

- "Okay."
[all laughing]

"What do you want me to say?
I did what I did and I'm not perfect."

- "Who asked you to be perfect?

"None of my fathers--
None of my friends' fathers were perfect.

"They were dorky,
they wore socks with sandals,

"they made dumb jokes in the car
when they drove us to school,

"but they were there.

Like I wanted you to be."

- "Wh-When you say it like that,

how am I not supposed
[clears throat] to be moved?"

- "Look,

"we're not gonna be able
to wrap this in a neat little bow.

Real life doesn't work that way."

JERRY:
"Lawrence sighs, lost in a hurricane of regret.

"Music cue:
St. Vincent's 'Birth in Reverse.'

As the camera slowly pulls back,
we fade to black, and that's our show."

GORDON:
Okay, there you go. Nice job.

All right! See you all at the Emmys!
[Bree laughs]

REED: Timberly.
- Yeah?

- That was great.
- Thank you.

BREE: It made me cry.
- This is gonna be so much fun.

- Oh my gosh, are you kidding me?

Yeah, yeah.
BREE: You're really pretty.

- Thanks, you too.

- What the fuck was that?

- Maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen.

- Oh, oh, congratulations.
The pretty girl tanked.

Maybe think about the show for one second.

She just ruined my big emotional scene.

- Wow, watching you
and Timberly together

is like watching two
world class ice dancers,

trying to act for the first time.
[Bree laughs]

- This, This, This cannot be happening.

- Oh, calm down.
There's no way they're not firing her.

- I don't know.
The Hulu execs seem to like her.

Maybe it's 'cause her eyes
are so far apart.

- They're not that far apart.

[camera clicking]

- Hey! What the hell happened?

- Hulu didn't approve your girl.
They wanted this one.

- My girl is an actual trained
Broadway actress.

She's not some contestant
on Fuck Buddy Mountain.

- I understand.

My hands are tied.

You know, stunt casting,
it's an age-old tradition in Hollywood.

When I did Benson,
I was writing on Benson,

they made us cast
Mary Lou Retton as a U.S. Senator.

What's that?
- Okay, but you could've at least

told me this was happening.

- I did. I wrote you an email.
I sent you and you never responded.

- No, you never sent me an email.
- I never sent you-- Really?

Okay, Smarty Pants, what does that say?

- I'm a professional writer.

You really think this is
still my email address?

- It's not?

- HannahBananaSparklePony87?

- It could be.
- @aol.com?

- What's wrong with AOL?
- Just take this.

- So, what do we do?
What do we do now?

- So, now we get to work.

- Get to-- Ah, I see.

So, the pretty girl
fucks up the table read,

and this is your excuse
for hacking into my script.

- I--
- Yeah.

- It wasn't great.
- No, she wasn't great!

- All right, so, we'll help her out.

We'll, We'll lighten the tone,
give her some physical business.

Like... Like, not--
Obviously, not this, but, bad example,

a bunch of popcorn flies out of the dryer.

Like that. Something.

- How did I come from you?
- Relax! We'll fix it.

We don't shoot 'til Friday.
It's only Monday!

- So, there we were in Gordon's office,

determining the fate of the show,

and everyone looked to me.

- Wow, that sounds intense.

- It actually reminded me of the ending
of my film Pint Sized Pilot.

I'll set it up.
So, the plane's going down,

and my co-pilot's missing
'cause someone threw

a tennis ball down the aisle.

Wait, did I mention he was
a German Shepherd?

- Honey, you've had enough sweets.
- Mom!

- I don't have chicken
and dumplings in the crockpot

just so you can bounce
off the walls all night.

Have some carrots.

- I'll see you.
- Definitely.

Good luck handing out those call sheets.

- Woo-hoo. Getting cock-blocked
by Mommy, that's rough.

- Dude, stop. She's been coming
to set with me my whole life.

- When you were a kid.
How old are you?

- Twenty-four and three-quarters.

- Just say 24 and act like it.
Tell her to go knit somewhere else.

- It's complicated.

Ever since her and my dad split,
I'm all she's got.

I can't hurt her feelings.

Could you say something to my mom?

- Me?
- Yeah, tell her it's weird for you guys,

so that it doesn't come from me.

- Wait, so I'm the one who
has to hurt her feelings?

Yeah, what the fuck.

♪

- Ooh, Hannah!
Quick question about the new H scene.

- Uh, sure.
Wait, what new H scene?

- "Josie opens the dryer.
Instead of clothes,

an avalanche of hot popcorn spills out."

[chuckles] Very funny.
- No, it's not.

- Yeah, I agree.

- Wait, how did this happen?

- I think Jake and Cody stashed
some microwave popcorn in there?

- That's not-- Okay.
So, yeah, this bit is cut.

- We have run-through in a half hour.
Uh, maybe I should talk to Gordon.

- Nope, no need
'cause this is also my show,

so the popcorn bit is cut.

[crew member groans]
- Thank you.

- "Wow... So, I guess
this is your happy family.

You guys are really
into cargo shorts, huh? "

LAWRENCE:
"We like big pockets."

- "Got a lotta baggage to carry around?

Whitney exits."

JERRY:
And we're out.

- Ah, okay.
[Gordon clears throat]

Timberly, sweetheart?
TIMBERLY: Yeah?

- You're

still reading the stage directions.

See where it says, "Whitney exits?"
- Yeah?

GORDON: You're Whitney.
- Yeah.

GORDON: Exit.
TIMBERLY: Sorry.

GORDON: No, no, it's okay.
TIMBERLY: Yes, yes.

Thank you.
- Can we get her a special script?

- That takes us to Scene H
in the laundry room!

Um... please, let me replace her.

- Our research shows we need
a young, attractive woman

to reach the 18- to 34-year-old
male demographic.

- But she is a terrible actress.

- Our research shows that that
has no effect whatsoever.

- Well, if you need her so bad,
then what does your research say about me?

- Oh, don't worry,
you're extremely popular

with sassy seniors and coupon fanatics.

- Bree, we're ready for you.
- No.

- But, um--
- "This is unreal!

I just cannot believe
you have a daughter!"

- "Well, look on the bright side.
Cody has an older sister.

"Now we have someone
to babysit our adult son

on Saturday nights."
[crew laughing]

- "Forgive me if I don't
feel like laughing."

- What happened to my popcorn?
- Hannah said it was cut.

- No.
BREE: But I don't need to take it out while we're rehearsing.

REED:
I understand, Bree. There's no reason to get excited.

BREE:
I'm not excited.

♪

- Come in!

[Clay sighs]
Well! Look what the cat dragged in.

Zack's not here.

- Actually, I came to see you.
Here's the thing.

Zack's not a kid anymore,
and it's kinda fucked up--

- Ooh! Language.
We don't say that.

- messed up you're here, you know?
Comin' in to work with him every day?

- Oh... I see.

Well... I didn't mean to embarrass him.

I just kinda feel like
this business is scary

and a boy could use all the love
and protection he can get.

Didn't your mother do that for you?

- My mom mostly did all
the drugs she could get.

- Oh... poor thing.

Wait, you've got a... little something
on your sweet, little cheek.

Get it off... Yeah...
Oop, one more spot.

- So what, we're just cutting bits
without telling me now?

- Well, I sent you an email,
you just never responded.

- Nice callback.
- Popcorn in a dryer, really?

- That would've worked.
- No. It's... way too broad.

And you didn't even tell me about it.
I'm the co-showrunner.

- Do you remember that?
- 'Kay, when are you gonna realize,

I've been doin' this
a little longer than you.

I know what I'm talkin' about.
[Hannah scoffs]

Case in point.

That song you wanted,

that St. Margaret's,
whatever the hell it's called,

$80,000 for a song.

Here. Here's a list
of public domain songs.

Pick somethin' you like.

- "She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain."

- I actually like "Camptown Races,"
but author's choice.

[knocks on door]
REED: Hannah, we need to talk.

- Oh, fuck, okay.
GORDON: I--

- Listen, listen, that's Reed

and he's super fuckin'
pissed about Timberly,

so you deal with this.

- What, a pissed off actor?
It's easy. They're like children.

You jingle some shiny keys
and you promise 'em a cookie

and they stop crying.

- That is so condescending.

He's an artist. He has integrity.

- Yes, but he wants a cookie.

Trust me.

- Hi, hi.
- Hannah, we have gotta stop Gordon from--

Oh... Hello.
- Reed, I'm so glad they found ya.

Thanks for gettin' here so fast.

- What?
[door closes]

No one-- I came to you.

- Yeah, we sent a PA to get you
'cause we gotta talk about Timberly.

It's obvious we got a problem here.
- Oh, yeah. [laughs] Definitely.

She cannot play the material.

She is ruining your words.
- You don't have to convince me, man.

- I think it's obvious what has to happen?

- Oh, finally. [laughs]
- Yeah, you need to teach her how to act.

- I-- What?
- Listen, you can get her there.

You practically give
an acting class every day.

- Well, I mean, you know, I'm doing--

- And Jerry doesn't have your instincts.

- Well, I mean, he's pretty good
at movin' the cameras around,

but that's about it.
- Yeah, but you, you move people.

You-- Remember how green
Bree was back in the day, huh?

- I mean, she couldn't even
internalize her primary intentions.

- But then you, ya did your magic
and you, you molded her into a star.

You saved the whole show,

so I'm askin' you,

you, you gotta do it again.

REED: Gordon.
- Uh, Reed. Hey, Reed.

You, You, You--
REED: [sighs] You know what? He's right.

I'm the only one.

[door opens]

[door closes]

- Jingle-jingle.

- Ooh, hey, uh, have you seen Timberly?
[chuckles] They need me to save the show.

- I'm sorry, what? No.
- But what-what's with you?

- Zack asked me to talk to his mom about
not coming around anymore, so I did.

- Okay, good. That's good.

G-Good for you
'cause that-that's weird, you know?

How'd she take it?
- Pretty well. She blew me.

- I'm sorry, she-she blew you?

Are you serious?
- A hundred percent.

- Oh god, that's so fucked up.
- I know!

And after I finished,
she told me I was a "good boy" and--

- What?
- gave me orange slices.

- Oh!
- It was nurturing and depraved all at the same time.

- Well, okay.
That, That can never happen again.

- I know! You're right.

Why exactly?
- 'Cause what if Zack finds out?

- Finds what out?
- Son of a--

- Uh, that I couldn't talk
to your mom yet.

- Too hard, huh?
BOTH: No.

- No, I wouldn't say that.
- Not that, uh.

She was just busy doing
something else, but I will.

- Awesome! You're the best.
Ooh! Orange slices.

- No, no, no... But don't.

[Clay groans]
[Reed clears throat]

- "They made dumb jokes in the car
when they drove us to school,

"but they were there.
[celery crunches]

Like I wanted you to be."

- That's wonderful.
TIMBERLY: Okay.

- So, deep down, you're devastated
and you're spiraling.

I feel it--
- Okay.

- but... what if you want him
to think you're in control?

Let's stand it up.
- Okay.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

[Reed clears throat]

- What do you want me to say?

I-I did what I did.

I'm not perfect.

- Who asked you to be perfect?

None of my friends' fathers were perfect.

'Cause they were dorky,
they wore socks with sandals,

they made dumb jokes in the car
when they drove us to school,

but they were there.

Like I wanted you to be.

- The duckling has become the swan.
[Timberly squeals]

Great job.
- She's really getting good.

- Can I help you with something, Kelly?

- Yeah, stop by the hair trailer
when you get a chance

and let's touch up those grays.

[indistinct chatter]

[Bree exhales]

- Hi! Hi.

You guys talkin' about Step Right Up?

- Oh, no, we were talking,
uh, Fuck Buddy Mountain.

[all laughing]

- Well, did you hear we're coming back?

- Ooh, guys, it's this awesome sitcom
that was on, like, forever ago--

- Not that long ago.
- and I'm gonna be on it.

[fans exclaim]

Oh, and Bree plays my mom.

- Stepmom.
- Yeah.

- Stepmom.
- Timberly, tell my boyfriend Craig--

TIMBERLY: Yeah.
- he's a piece of shit.

TIMBERLY: Sure.
- Oh, fun.

- Hey, Craig! You're a piece of shit!

[fans laughing]

- I love you, Timberly.
- Oh my god. Love you guys, too.

- Thank you.
TIMBERLY: Take care. Have a good tour!

- Well, she is fantastic.

Okay, so Stage A is
the Glenn Close stage-- BREE: Bye! Bye.

TOUR GUIDE:
but today, it's Glenn Closed.

[fans chattering]

- Aww.
- I love that. Love them. [chuckles]

- Hey, I'm so, so glad I caught you, um.
- Yeah.

- I just wanted to tell you that...
I know what you're going through.

With Reed.

- What do you mean?

- Oh, with all the acting notes.
Isn't it driving you crazy?

I mean, I love the guy,
but he can be a lot.

- I mean, he's been so nice to me.

- Oh, no, he is the nicest, for sure.
- Right.

- And it's just that, like,

he did this with me on my first show,

and then I went out there
and I did everything he told me to do,

like exactly.
- Right.

- And it was a disaster.

- Really?
- He's old fashioned.

- Yeah.
- It almost ended my career.

- Really?

- Between us girls--
- Yeah.

- I'll tell you what you need to know.

[Reed exhales]

- So, where do we go from here?

- I don't know.

Part of me wants to hug you,

and part of me wants to scream!

I've never done this before.

- Um, well,

I'm pullin' for the hug,
but I might not have a vote here.

- Well... I guess we'll just
have to play it by ear.

♪

- Oh, hey, you're back.

Uh, I have something for you,
but, but I'm kind of scared.

- Why?

- Well, I think it's
'cause I'm from Malibu

and nothing bad happens there.

- Oh, don't. What is it, Connor?

- Just new pages from the last scene.

- New--

Are you fucking kidding me?
We shoot in half an hour.

- Okay. Whoa.
That is exactly what Reed said.

- I can't believe this.

♪

- Hey! Come on in.

I'm just makin' some treats
in the toaster oven.

- Yeah, I was thinkin' maybe
we should talk outside.

- Oh... I see.

- You changed the last scene
without telling me.

- I couldn't find you.
- Oh, let me guess.

You tried to reach me
on my Easy Bake Oven.

- Yeah, very funny.
Where'd you disappear to?

- To my shrink, okay?

And then I went to Shake Shack

because no professional can cure
this relationship in 50 minutes.

- All right, well, listen,
you saw her at run-through,

she was yelling and with the hands.

She can't pull off the, the heavy stuff,
so I lightened it up a bit.

- A bit? A bit?

Lawrence now doesn't even
know he has a daughter.

She just shows up at the end
and everyone's thrilled.

- Yeah, trust me. It's better.
- It's better.

Oh, also, you added back in
the dryer popcorn bit?

- You weren't here. It's Friday.
I did what I had to do.

- You did what you had to do,
so you wouldn't look like an asshole.

Because if Lawrence looks like an asshole,
that means you're an asshole

and you can't be the asshole,
even though, let's be clear,

you're an asshole.

- How was therapy today?
Pretty, Pretty productive for you?

- You know you've never apologized
once for disappearing.

- I--

You know what, honey?
- Don't "honey" me.

This is my story.

Okay? This is my life.
You can't rewrite it.

- And you know what? This is my show!

And you're trying to hijack it,
so you can rip me apart.

I'm not gonna be the villain.

- Too late.

♪

WARM-UP GUY:
Yeah! Awesome, fantastic.

Oh, wow, are you two married?

This is what I call
a May-December romance.

And by that, I mean,
it may be over by December.

[audience laughing]
[comedian cracks up]

These don't write themselves, people.

[indistinct chatter]

- [exhales] Thank you.
- Hey.

- Bree got into Timberly's head
and completely messed her up.

- You think that's bad,
I just fucked Zack's mom.

- Jesus... I told you to end that.

- I know, but she smelled
like snickerdoodles.

- What the--
- Oh god. What's wrong with me?

- Well, for one, you clearly
have mother issues.

- No way.

Although, once when I was a kid,

I did call a phone sex hotline
and my mom answered.

- What?

- But that can't be it.

[Bree exhales]
- I know it was you.

You sabotaged Timberly...
and they gutted my big scene.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- She told me it was you.

- That wasn't very supportive
of her, was it?

- Why would you undermine her like that?
She's not your competition.

[audience cheering]
This isn't one of your stupid, beauty pageants.

- Oh, wake up. Hollywood is way worse.

When I was doing my first-ever guest spot
on Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,

Jane Seymour tried to crush me
by loosening the wheel to my loom.

And on my last show,
my "gal pal" co-star,

she was so jealous of me
that she fucked the showrunner

and had him turn me into a space insect!

- Well, congratulations.

'Cause now Timberly has a story about you.

WARM-UP GUY:
As Lawrence, Reed Sterling! [audience cheering]

As Josie, Bree Marie Jensen!
[exhales]

[audience cheering]
- Hi!

- Everybody give one
huge round of applause

for your Step Right Up cast!

- See why it's so hard for me
to say anything to my mom?

Look at her. She's glowing.

[Josie exhales]

Hey, Mom, how was hot yoga?

- Too hot.

I haven't sweat that much since
you said you were quitting college.

[audience laughing]

Can I ask you something?

Have you noticed Lawrence acting strange?

- Now that you mention it, yeah.
For the last 25 years.

[audience laughing]

[Timberly sniffs]

BREE: Hey.
- Hi.

- You all right?
- Yeah, sorry.

I'm just really nervous.

[Bree groans]

I mean, I'm not an actor
like you guys,

so all the changes and the notes.

I just feel like I don't know
what I'm doing.

- Oh.
- And I mean,

Reed is telling me to do everything
from the inside, right?

And-- But you're saying to do
all these things on the outside?

- Timberly.
- I just feel like I am letting everyone down,

after you guys have been so nice to me.

- Do me a favor, okay?
- Yeah.

- Just forget what I said.

I was being stupid.

I was screwing you up
and you were doing so great.

I, I just... I don't know
what I'm talking about.

I haven't acted in 15 years.
I have been so terrified this week.

There is a reason why everyone who
walks past you on this lot loves you.

[Timberly laughs]
Okay, honey?

- 'Kay.

- So, listen to Reed

[audience cheering]

and you're gonna be amazing.

- Thank you. [sniffs]

- Come here.
We women have to stick together.

Jane Seymour taught me that.
- Who?

- Are you ready for the final scene?

[audience cheers]
Okay, I'm gonna need a lot of energy for the final scene.

- How are you doing?

- All I can say is you're lucky
you don't work with your dad.

- God, that's his dream.

He's a software engineer at Microsoft.

He made sure I got a Masters
in Computer Science from Stanford,

yet... here I am on the set
of Step Right Up.

[chuckling]

He thinks I'm crazy.
- Oh, he's right.

I mean, we're both crazy
for being here, truly.

[Elaine chuckles]

- Mm, when I was a kid,
my parents worked all the time

and I was usually home alone,

studying and watching
TV shows about families

that always seemed happier than mine.

Guess which one was my favorite?

- Oh, am I about to lose
all respect for you?

- I've probably seen every episode,
five times?

- What?
- [laughs] Yeah.

I had a huge crush on Cody.

I used to pause the show
and kiss him through the screen.

Forget I said that.
- Um, I, I will try to.

- Hey, Shake Shack.
New pages... for the last scene.

- What? New pages?
- Thank you.

- How can he make this any worse?

- Well, if it makes you feel any better,
Reed said the pages are pretty tight.

- Is everything all right?

- I guess I'm just upset with myself
for not looking you up sooner.

- Don't be.

If anything, be upset with me.

- For what?

- I knew about you.

I pretended I didn't, but I did.

I was young, I was scared,
and that's no excuse.

I'm the dad.

I should've been there.

I should've been a mensch.

I made all sorts of excuses for myself.

Your mom hating me,
assuming you would, too.

And if I could go back...
and change things, I would.

But I can't.

But... I'm hoping,

someday, when you're ready,

you'll give me a second chance.

[toilet flushes]

[audience laughing]

- For god's sake, you two hug.
[audience laughing]

[applause]

[audience cheering]

- Um, [clears throat] hey.

- Oh! Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey, hey, uh, you're, you're leaving already?

- Yeah, I taped
the Clippers game so I just--

I wanna get out of there before
anybody tells me who won.

- Um,

thank you for that, the scene.

- Oh yeah. I thought that
worked pretty good, right?

- Yeah.

- Sorry, you probably wanted me
to have him say a little bit more to her,

but... characters can't change
that much in one episode.

Takes a little time.

All right, see you Monday, yeah?

- Yeah. Looks like it.
- Okay.

- Oh, um, [clears throat]
I'm sorry, too.

- What are you sorry for?

You're right. It's too broad.

♪ "She'll Be Coming
Round The Mountain" playing ♪

♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ♪

♪ She'll be coming round the mountain ♪

♪ She'll be coming round the mountain ♪

♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ♪

♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ♪

♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ♪

♪ She'll be coming round the mountain ♪

♪ She'll be coming round the mountain ♪

♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ♪

[music flourish]

[fanfare]

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