Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,398 --> 00:00:01,401
Alright, everybody.
2
00:00:01,466 --> 00:00:04,002
We should be arriving
at Langley International
3
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,203
in just a few hours.
4
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:06,471
Thank you for booking your trip
5
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,740
with ValueVacay package vacations.
6
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,008
ValueVacay...
7
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:14,279
We don't offer refunds,
but we do offer apologies.
8
00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:17,616
I'm sorry for the smell.
9
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,552
Did you have a nice vacation, dear?
10
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,754
No!
11
00:00:21,756 --> 00:00:24,423
My cheap ass husband booked
an all-inclusive trip
12
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:28,693
with ValueVacay to some Cancun shithole!
13
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,362
The trip didn't have to be bad!
14
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,431
It's these lousy kids that ruined it!
15
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,566
Like when Steve left the
door open and all those
16
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,101
black spiny-tailed iguanas
came into the room.
17
00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:40,773
I was airing things out because
Hayley blew up the bathroom!
18
00:00:40,775 --> 00:00:41,784
I was sick!
19
00:00:41,786 --> 00:00:44,042
That monkey put its finger in my mouth!
20
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,311
You sucked on that monkey's finger!
21
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,246
Mom told me to do it!
22
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:51,115
I thought it was one of
those marketing monkeys
23
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:52,785
that promote new salsa flavors!
24
00:00:52,787 --> 00:00:55,654
Speaking of monkeys,
I don't wanna monkey around
25
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:58,323
with those black clouds in front of us.
26
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,325
Then don't do it!
27
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:03,528
It's too late, I'm sorry.
28
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:10,742
Francine...
29
00:01:10,744 --> 00:01:12,136
About our argument before...
30
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:15,740
I booked this extremely
budgeted vacation package.
31
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:16,941
It's my fault.
32
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:20,012
So I just want to say,
if we don't survive...
33
00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:23,348
you also made a lot of
mistakes before this trip,
34
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,749
and I don't forget that.
35
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,952
Are you gonna bring up the
little Matt Damon movie...
36
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,554
"Downsizing".
37
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,623
You forgot to buy me a ticket,
so I had to sit by myself.
38
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,225
You forgave me for that!
39
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,426
I did forgive you.
40
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,294
I'm just remembering it now.
41
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,696
I watched from across the theater
42
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,032
while you and the kids
laughed your asses off!
43
00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:41,366
We weren't laughing!
44
00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,768
I don't think that movie
was supposed to be funny.
45
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:44,969
It was hysterical.
46
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:46,571
Matt Damon was so small!
47
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,773
It was pretty thoughtless, Mom.
48
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,843
Oh, you're calling Mom
thoughtless, Steve?
49
00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:53,846
You let my Sims family
[BLEEP] die in a house fire!
50
00:01:53,848 --> 00:01:55,447
I was five!
51
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:58,250
They said the saddest
nonsense as they burned.
52
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,185
Let it go, Hayley.
53
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:03,922
When you were five,
you poked a hole in my diaphragm,
54
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,990
to disastrous result!
55
00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:08,193
Five? Do you mean me?
56
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:09,928
I'm a disastrous result?
57
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,463
I like you now!
58
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:15,800
Please, we're all very scared,
and you're fighting so loudly.
59
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,736
Why don't you just die, old lady!
60
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,139
The engines are out!
61
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,475
We're gonna be okay!
62
00:02:23,679 --> 00:02:26,545
We're definitely going to die!
63
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:31,550
Sweet, sweet lightning,
I knew you would save me!
64
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:34,419
I'm declaring this bird a no-fly!
65
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,755
Everyone head to the back!
66
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,690
Francine, the week we were married,
67
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,692
you ate all the Golden Grahams.
68
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,227
Excuse me?
69
00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:43,962
These are your parachutes!
70
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,697
You open them like this.
71
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:46,899
Oops!
72
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:48,901
I'm sorr...
73
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,545
Mom? Dad?
74
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,147
Hayley!
75
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:14,025
Steve!
76
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,894
Oh, thank God we're all okay.
77
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:18,697
There's a lighthouse there.
Let's see if someone's inside.
78
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:23,168
I hope they speak Portuguese.
I'm two days in on Duolingo.
79
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,039
Holaaaa?
80
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,110
Which is "hello?"
81
00:03:31,112 --> 00:03:33,712
Seems like no one's been
here for a long time.
82
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,180
Lots of drinking water,
83
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,983
and about a thousand
cans of pumpkin pie mix.
84
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,918
All those canned food drives
85
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,921
where I gave delicious pumpkin pie mix,
86
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,323
was that all going to...
87
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:46,325
lighthouse keepers?
88
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:47,726
Gross.
89
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,594
This radio doesn't work.
90
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,930
Somebody's bound to come look for us.
91
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,133
Maybe once this fog clears.
92
00:03:54,135 --> 00:03:55,334
Could be a long wait.
93
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:58,137
A chance to have some
quality time together!
94
00:03:58,139 --> 00:04:00,071
I can't say I liked the plane crash,
95
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,142
but at least it put a stop
to all that silly fighting.
96
00:04:03,144 --> 00:04:06,411
I, for one, am glad that we've
stopped all that silly fighting.
97
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,413
I'll tell you what isn't silly...
98
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,881
our love for each other.
99
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,617
A hundred percent. The message is clear.
100
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:14,219
And yet...
101
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:17,622
I still remember the things
you all did that made me mad.
102
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,024
I'm thinking about them right now.
103
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,226
I'm thinking only of those things.
104
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,829
Right, it's like,
I'm glad you're all alive,
105
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:27,833
I just wish my Sims family
was alive too, you know?
106
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,501
My Golden Grahams.
107
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,637
I cannot be here with you people!
108
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,773
There's not a single book or magazine
109
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:38,643
or 4,300-piece limited edition
Lego London Tower bridge?
110
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,312
We have to sit around
staring at each other?
111
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:43,782
We don't have to look
at each other at all!
112
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:47,052
There's a TV/VCR combo.
113
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,119
And a tape!
114
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,121
Yessss. Wait, what's on it?
115
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,491
Some episodes of "Murphy Brown".
116
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:57,328
Oh, this news magazine is run by idiots!
117
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,267
Whoa, Gold Top Nuts?
118
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,269
I want it to be a nice party.
119
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:05,737
It is the big game.
120
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,073
My brother is here!
121
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,475
But he roots for the opposite team!
122
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,810
My team's gonna win!
123
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,546
Hey, Mom, that's Tiffany.
124
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,947
I invited her over for the big game!
125
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:19,084
Tiffany's here?
126
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,220
Hi! I brought my boyfriend.
127
00:05:21,222 --> 00:05:22,554
Man!
128
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:25,957
Honey, your boss is here!
129
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,226
Sorry to interrupt the big game,
130
00:05:27,228 --> 00:05:29,895
but I came to tell you you're fired.
131
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,763
Oh, and give me that Gold Top.
132
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:38,369
I had a second can of Gold Top.
133
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:39,504
Gold Top nuts.
134
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:42,707
Give yourself the best.
135
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,309
That's all that's on the tape?
136
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:46,177
Aaand Murphy.
137
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,246
Cue Murphy.
138
00:05:47,248 --> 00:05:48,447
Where Murphy Brown?
139
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,716
Ughh, we gotta get off this island.
140
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,584
I'm gonna see if I can fix the radio.
141
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:53,985
That's a dumb idea.
142
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,454
I'll just fix the big light.
143
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:58,323
I'm gonna write an SOS message
on the beach with rocks.
144
00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,991
And I'll help.
145
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,745
Ugh. Don't talk to me while we do it.
146
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:04,997
You don't talk to me first!
147
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,999
_
148
00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:43,034
- Hey.
- Yeah?
149
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,636
Were you gonna say something?
150
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,371
I, uh,
151
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,573
I don't remember.
152
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,376
Was I gonna say something?
153
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,676
Who are you?
154
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,812
Who am I?
155
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:28,880
Who are we?
156
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,816
The only question, really...
157
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,885
in addition to all the others.
158
00:07:34,981 --> 00:07:37,455
So none of us knows who we are.
159
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,324
But we are.
160
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,392
We exist.
161
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:44,196
Agreed. Our existence is unquestionable.
162
00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:48,266
Listen to the sound of my
existence upon the ground.
163
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:51,269
And I know that I am human, that we...
164
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,604
are humans.
165
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:55,673
But what does it mean to be humans?
166
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,076
I would like to posit something.
167
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,278
There is a lighthouse over there.
168
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,681
If it contains other humans,
they might know who we are.
169
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,751
Or why we are.
170
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,267
Sure.
171
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:11,089
No one is here.
172
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,958
Someone was just here.
173
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:16,161
They were eating some sort of food.
174
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:17,932
Mm.
175
00:08:17,967 --> 00:08:22,968
This is the only,
and therefore best food I've ever had.
176
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:25,237
They were building some sort of device.
177
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,838
- And look at this.
- Look at what?
178
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,907
Seems like they go like this.
179
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,308
They're making everything blurry.
180
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,310
That's how everything is to me.
181
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:35,180
Then now, I am like you.
182
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,719
Not much to see.
183
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,989
Where did all the people go?
184
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,457
Look at that!
185
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,325
"H and E."
186
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,727
Who is "he"?
187
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:52,130
What if someone was interrupted
while writing "heaven"?
188
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,600
- Ooh.
- Ahh.
189
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:55,867
Or "hell".
190
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,936
- Hmm.
- Uh-oh.
191
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,605
Or "heggo"?
192
00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:00,806
What is "heggo"?
193
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,408
A third option.
194
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,210
Ugh!
195
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,613
I don't understand what
any of this stuff is.
196
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,682
But how are we going to get
answers to our questions?
197
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:11,950
Who are we?
198
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,885
Why are we here?
199
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,754
What does it mean to be human?
200
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,690
I hunger in my despair.
201
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,627
Where is can?
202
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:22,894
...Idiots!
203
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,232
- Whoa, Gold Top nuts?
- People!
204
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,234
I want it to be a nice party.
It is the big game.
205
00:09:30,438 --> 00:09:31,903
Honey, your boss is here.
206
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,371
Sorry to interrupt the big game,
207
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,707
but I came to tell you you're fired.
208
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,109
This is humanity.
209
00:09:37,111 --> 00:09:38,576
This is culture.
210
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,911
Gold Top nuts.
211
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,513
Give yourself the best.
212
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,117
Again.
213
00:09:45,119 --> 00:09:47,185
Whoa, Gold Top nuts?
214
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:50,322
I want it to be a nice party.
It is the big game.
215
00:09:50,706 --> 00:09:51,789
My brother is here!
216
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:52,991
My team's gonna win!
217
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,592
I had a second can of Gold Top.
218
00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:56,194
My brother is here!
219
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:57,863
But he roots for the opposite team!
220
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,133
Tiffany's here?
221
00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:02,800
Hi! I brought my boyfriend.
222
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:03,935
Man!
223
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,713
Tiffany's boyfriend is something bad.
224
00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:08,740
Gold Top is something good.
225
00:10:09,194 --> 00:10:10,342
My brother is here!
226
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,410
But he roots for the opposite team!
227
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:16,014
Give yourself the best.
228
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,183
They have covered their bodies.
229
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:26,058
We look just as they now.
230
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,760
Give yourself the best.
231
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,029
Gold Top nuts.
232
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,097
The best, correct?
233
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,032
They are everything. They are all.
234
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,835
How can we carry on without them?
235
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:40,039
All we have is the pumpkin pie mix,
but...
236
00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:46,845
Gold Top!
237
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:49,981
Gold Top! Gold Top! Gold Top!
238
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:53,118
- Gold Top! Gold Top!
- Look how human we're being!
239
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,920
Tiffany is a name.
240
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,121
And what a name!
241
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,056
We need names.
242
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,991
My name is Can.
243
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,060
My name is Lighthouse.
244
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,729
My name is Lighthouse.
245
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:05,130
My name is Can.
246
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:06,398
We're doing it!
247
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,466
Gold Top! Gold Top...
248
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:09,535
Stop!
249
00:11:09,537 --> 00:11:11,203
Is it Gold Top?
250
00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:13,004
Are these names for people?
251
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,006
Let us turn to the tape!
252
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,942
It is the big game.
253
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:18,610
The one who puts out the Gold Top first
254
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:21,547
is always standing, like I am now.
255
00:11:21,549 --> 00:11:23,081
They are called Mom.
256
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,550
I take this name.
257
00:11:24,552 --> 00:11:27,886
The one who is fired,
Mom calls it "honey".
258
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,487
I like this sound for myself.
259
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,423
I still like Can. Call me Can.
260
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:33,359
Call me...
261
00:11:33,361 --> 00:11:35,561
Murphy Brown.
262
00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:40,632
Hi! I brought my boyfriend.
263
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:41,833
- Booo!
- Hisss!
264
00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:43,635
Ugh.
265
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:47,239
Your rude belch has entered the
room like Tiffany's boyfriend.
266
00:11:47,241 --> 00:11:49,241
- It is the big game.
- _
267
00:11:49,243 --> 00:11:51,176
Can, what is "the big game"?
268
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,779
It came to me in a dream, Mom.
269
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:56,081
Are you ready to see the big game?
270
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:03,989
Ahh!
271
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:08,460
Excellent big game, Can.
272
00:12:08,462 --> 00:12:11,329
You know what this fire reminds me of?
273
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:12,864
The fireplace that you
see in the background
274
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:15,200
when the dreaded Tiffany's
boyfriend comes in the door?
275
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,334
Yes!
276
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,736
The light in the sky,
277
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:20,005
that flashes like the
magnificent Gold Top seal,
278
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,206
has gone.
279
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,208
But the small lights...
280
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,877
I think they can only be one thing.
281
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,479
Other lighthouses.
282
00:12:27,481 --> 00:12:30,415
What about the water that
is in every direction?
283
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,550
How could we ever get
up to those lighthouses?
284
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,553
Obviously,
the world is an inverted, wet bowl,
285
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,355
dotted with lighthouses.
286
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,624
The further out you go,
287
00:12:38,626 --> 00:12:41,493
the higher you climb
up the watery walls.
288
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:44,630
To understand the
universe is to control it.
289
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,565
I have written a new story.
290
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:51,036
Once, there was a dark-haired
person whose name was Mom,
291
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:53,305
and she wanted to make a nice party,
292
00:12:53,307 --> 00:12:55,441
for it was the big game, after all...
293
00:12:55,443 --> 00:12:57,443
Another good one from Can.
294
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,648
A beautiful Gold Top day.
295
00:13:09,323 --> 00:13:11,256
Look at this!
296
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,790
Look at this!
297
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,731
Also, look at this!
298
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:23,068
The pain is a hundred
Tiffany's boyfriends!
299
00:13:24,231 --> 00:13:27,939
One thing's clear...
this rock is a very important rock.
300
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,407
Ooo, Gold Top's on!
301
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,076
Sorry to interrupt the big game...
302
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,780
- No! No!
- What is happening?
303
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:39,885
It is gone.
304
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,487
This is a sign.
305
00:13:41,489 --> 00:13:43,821
- It is time to go.
- To where?
306
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,024
To the other lighthouses.
307
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,425
Murphy Brown is right.
308
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,227
There must be other lighthouses,
309
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:50,829
and they must contain other people.
310
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:54,099
And maybe they don't have
our knowledge of Gold Top.
311
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,567
We must teach them.
312
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:57,369
We must... rule them?
313
00:13:57,371 --> 00:13:58,570
Easy, Can.
314
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,372
It likely won't come to that.
315
00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:02,141
It probably will, though.
316
00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:04,976
It's ready.
317
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:08,580
To new, identical worlds!
318
00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:11,717
The waters ahead may hold untold bosses
319
00:14:11,719 --> 00:14:14,386
who seek to put us into fire.
320
00:14:14,388 --> 00:14:16,454
But by Tiffany herself,
321
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:22,060
we will have the second can,
and it will be a nice party!
322
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,595
So long, lighthouse.
323
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:25,130
You've been good to us.
324
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:28,200
Now, we must ration cans,
for it will be a long journey...
325
00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:30,135
Another lighthouse!
326
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:33,339
Told ya!
327
00:14:33,341 --> 00:14:35,473
We bring word of Gold Top!
328
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,410
Kneel before Gold Top, you heathens!
329
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,549
Uh, welcome to the Beacon Diner,
330
00:14:43,551 --> 00:14:47,819
home of the best seafood
on the Langley waterfront.
331
00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:49,354
Stan Smith, rewards member.
332
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,957
Need a no-reservation table for...
333
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,892
my family.
334
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,693
Oh, my God.
335
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,429
Oh. Right.
336
00:14:57,431 --> 00:14:59,665
Tiffany's boyfriend,
this is embarrassing.
337
00:15:02,124 --> 00:15:04,503
It's the fourth hour
of "Morning Mimosa,"
338
00:15:04,505 --> 00:15:06,838
and Trish has fallen
asleep in her chair,
339
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:10,041
so it's time for
"Liquid Lunch with Suze"!
340
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:13,645
They're the local Langley family
that everyone's talking about,
341
00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:15,847
surviving a harrowing plane crash
342
00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,849
and ending up on an abandoned island
343
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:20,786
where magnetic bedrock
erased their minds.
344
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:24,589
What they got up to then has
had the whole nation laughing.
345
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,659
My guests today,
for their first television interview,
346
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:32,395
the Smiths, or as they've come
to be known, the Nuts family.
347
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:33,799
One of our conditions in coming here
348
00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:35,534
was that you not use that name!
349
00:15:35,536 --> 00:15:37,468
You survived a plane crash!
350
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,937
Which is incredible.
351
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,139
Thank you.
352
00:15:40,141 --> 00:15:41,540
All the other crash survivors
353
00:15:41,542 --> 00:15:43,274
swam the short distance to shore.
354
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:47,679
Now, why on Earth did you
choose to swim to Magnet Island,
355
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:48,880
famously shut down for making
356
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:51,482
all those lighthouse keepers go insane?
357
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,952
We... We didn't know
the island was magnetic,
358
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,021
and we couldn't see
anything with all the mist!
359
00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:58,490
Yes, yes,
before the island's magnetic properties
360
00:15:58,492 --> 00:16:00,091
were discovered,
it was called Misty Island.
361
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,227
- Everyone knows that.
- They do?
362
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,563
Let's skip to the ridiculous things
363
00:16:04,565 --> 00:16:06,698
you came to believe on the island.
364
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,434
Well, we couldn't remember
what society was,
365
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:13,038
or who we were,
so we tried to figure it out.
366
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,174
By watching what?
367
00:16:15,176 --> 00:16:16,842
This is the best part.
368
00:16:16,844 --> 00:16:18,777
An old commercial for Gold Top nuts...
369
00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:22,848
An old commercial for Gold Top nuts!
370
00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:27,052
It's all we had to go on.
371
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:29,454
Let's watch the commercial now,
and then we'll get into
372
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:32,657
the frankly hilarious
things you took from it.
373
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,526
Whoa, Gold Top nuts?
374
00:16:34,528 --> 00:16:36,528
This is great. So funny.
375
00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:37,996
Let's go over your dumb slang,
376
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,531
like the Tiffany's boyfriend stuff,
377
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:40,599
and then maybe talk about thinking
378
00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:42,333
the sun is a Gold Top seal,
379
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,602
and then maybe the kids can demonstrate
380
00:16:43,604 --> 00:16:46,205
that cuckoo "big game" you made up.
381
00:16:46,207 --> 00:16:47,672
Dad, I don't want to do that.
382
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,541
Give yourself the best.
383
00:16:49,543 --> 00:16:53,212
So you guys watched this
commercial and your response
384
00:16:53,214 --> 00:16:55,414
was to start worshipping cashews?
385
00:16:55,416 --> 00:16:56,948
You're making fun of us!
386
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:59,780
How about you wear your
daughter's headband as a diaper,
387
00:16:59,815 --> 00:17:01,620
and we'll feed you some
of these for the camera.
388
00:17:01,622 --> 00:17:03,288
Have you had these yet?
389
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,023
None of that stuff matters to us now!
390
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,758
You're being such a brother-in-law,
391
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,672
like you're rooting
for the opposite team.
392
00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:11,496
This interview is over!
393
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:17,302
Up next, we have a marketing
monkey from Pace Picante,
394
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:20,439
and "Tin Cup" star Rene Russo is here
395
00:17:20,441 --> 00:17:24,009
to lick their spicy,
new salsa off his finger!
396
00:17:24,912 --> 00:17:27,312
That. Was. Horrible.
397
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:30,449
We are famous for being weirdos!
398
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,453
Hey, Nuts family.
399
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:41,326
Hey, looney birds,
you like nuts so much,
400
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:43,328
how 'bout you [BLEEP] on these!
401
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,396
Do you even have nuts?
402
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,598
How dare you!
403
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:52,003
That's it. No more TV appearances.
404
00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:53,672
It's time to get back to our lives
405
00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:55,474
and put this nonsense behind us.
406
00:17:55,476 --> 00:17:57,676
But I can't stop thinking about it.
407
00:17:57,678 --> 00:17:59,745
Why did any of it, the plane crash,
408
00:17:59,747 --> 00:18:03,348
the memory wipe, the commercial,
why did any of it happen?
409
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,749
That's island talk.
410
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,752
The word "why" is now forbidden.
411
00:18:06,754 --> 00:18:08,887
Why, you ask? Ya don't!
412
00:18:08,889 --> 00:18:09,955
Stan's right.
413
00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:11,757
We have to move on with our lives.
414
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,759
Forget it ever happened.
415
00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:15,627
And no nodding uneasily!
416
00:18:56,737 --> 00:19:00,405
I know, I know. I'm making it worse.
417
00:19:18,025 --> 00:19:19,158
So.
418
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,026
None of us can stop thinking about
419
00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:23,762
what happened on the island.
420
00:19:23,764 --> 00:19:27,766
Steve you asked "why?",
and I think I know now.
421
00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:30,836
Before the island,
we were fighting so much.
422
00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:32,904
We thought we couldn't
forgive each other
423
00:19:32,906 --> 00:19:34,973
because we couldn't forget.
424
00:19:34,975 --> 00:19:37,709
But it turns out, if you forget,
425
00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:40,645
then there can be no act of forgiveness.
426
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:43,849
The answer,
as much as we've tried to deny it,
427
00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:49,188
as embarrassing and strange
as it may be, was on that tape.
428
00:19:49,190 --> 00:19:53,792
If we can't fully forgive
and we can't fully forget,
429
00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:59,464
then all we can do is offer
each other more kindness.
430
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:02,601
We have to offer each other...
431
00:20:02,603 --> 00:20:04,469
the best.
432
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:07,672
How I used to treat all of you.
433
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,875
How I will treat you from now on.
434
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:12,811
I'll put out the good nuts for you.
435
00:20:12,813 --> 00:20:15,146
I'll put out the good nuts for you.
436
00:20:15,148 --> 00:20:17,549
I'll put out the good nuts for you.
437
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,951
I'll put out the good nuts for you.
438
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:27,559
Gold Top, Gold Top...
439
00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:29,895
Gold Top, Gold...
440
00:20:29,897 --> 00:20:31,738
I'm up in my room,
thinking about ice cream,
441
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:33,765
wanting ice cream,
and then I remember we have
442
00:20:33,767 --> 00:20:36,235
that four-year-old Soy Delicious.
443
00:20:36,237 --> 00:20:37,836
Lotta frost on there.
444
00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:40,839
Hey, I'm glad you didn't die
on that island or whatever.
445
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:44,943
Mm.
446
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,245
Wow.
447
00:20:46,247 --> 00:20:48,513
These are actually incredible.
448
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,249
You should go buy some right now.
449
00:20:50,251 --> 00:20:51,917
This has been a paid
advertisement for Gold Top Nuts.
450
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:53,785
♪ Gold Top nuts ♪
451
00:20:53,787 --> 00:20:56,722
♪ You deserve the best ♪
452
00:20:58,459 --> 00:20:59,858
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
453
00:21:02,401 --> 00:21:04,204
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
31870
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
