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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:16,184 In the beginning, there was some dark stuff and some light stuff. 4 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:25,159 So God, or whatever, scrapped up a bunch of the dark stuff 5 00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:29,097 and shaped a great dildo from it. 6 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,133 Wait. I'm getting ahead of myself. 7 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:37,205 So, the space nuns were running through the forest. 8 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:27,155 It is The Unquenchable Thirst for Beau Nerjoose! 9 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,300 Hello, nuns. 10 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,172 I know you're in there. 11 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,174 Give me your dear Hope 12 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,243 or I will be forced 13 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:51,179 to destroy you. 14 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,181 Destroy us? 15 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,317 You couldn't destroy your dick with both hands and a map, bud! 16 00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:58,319 What? 17 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,354 Why would I destroy my dick? 18 00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:02,190 I don't need two hands... 19 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:03,191 Oh! 20 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:04,258 Yeah! 21 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,194 Fine! 22 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,296 Have it your way. 23 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,200 Go get the one we came for, boys. 24 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,355 What's your damage you fucking psycho? 25 00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,257 Hope has done nothing to you. 26 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,327 She's more than just a puzzle piece in your sick quest! 27 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,362 Do not worry. 28 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,297 Hope will be safe with me. 29 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:48,236 I swear to you. I will rip your goddamn dick off, and I will eat it 30 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,338 I don't even want to do that, but I will do it! 31 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,341 I will eat your dick! 32 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,343 I will eat your dick. 33 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,378 I will eat your dick. 34 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,247 I will eat your dick. 35 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,249 I will eat your dick! 36 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,384 Oh, ha, ha, ha, oh 37 00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:08,256 Charming as ever, Sister Dicktwister. 38 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:12,326 However, your words mean nothing to me so 39 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,296 fuck off and die. 40 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,399 Well... just die... 41 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,269 mostly. 42 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,304 Light 'em up. 43 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,397 Ha, ha, ha! 44 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,333 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 45 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:53,467 (Dickwipe) 46 00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:58,306 Wieners, Butthole, 47 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,376 Buttholes, Wieners, 48 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:06,380 Boobies, Pussy... 49 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,449 Shut the fuck up, Ron! 50 00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:11,319 God, I'm trying to concentrate. 51 00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,322 Gaa! You just sit there, night after night, 52 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,391 doing nothing, k? absolutely nothing. 53 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:21,462 Nothing? Gee-dangit, Tracey. 54 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,398 I spend time with you. That's what lovers do. 55 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:25,433 They hang out. 56 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:26,400 No 57 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:28,436 And do stuff together, in love and stuff. 58 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:33,341 That's what losers do. I know 'cause I'm looking at one. 59 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,344 But Tracey, you know I love you. 60 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:37,378 You mean everything to me. 61 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:38,479 Do I? 62 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,349 Yeah, you totally do. 63 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:43,351 Ah, man. 64 00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:45,386 Ah, I gotta shit. 65 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,357 Well fuck you, Ron! Real romantic! 66 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:59,367 Tracey. Generic toilet paper? 67 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:01,369 My butthole is way too sensitive. 68 00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,373 Maybe if you weren't a giant fucking loser, I'd be able to buy you something 69 00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,377 other than generic toilet paper I'm sorry you don't have a fucking job! 70 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:10,478 Fuck! 71 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,383 I'm sorry. I've been busy dealing with the 20-year anniversary of my mother going crazy 72 00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:19,387 and getting sent to the looney bin. I haven't had enough time. 73 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,391 It's been 20 years already. Get the fuck over it, Ron! 74 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,393 Maybe you're right. 75 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:32,400 But that doesn't change the fact that I can't wipe with generic toilet paper. 76 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,404 My butthole is way too sensitive. 77 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:37,438 That is it! 78 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,408 God, you're always my butthole this and my butthole that. 79 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:42,543 Well, did you ever stop and think about my butthole's wants? 80 00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:45,479 OK, My butthole has needs too. 81 00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,482 Like a weekly rim job, you fucking tool! 82 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,419 Fuck you! This marriage is over! 83 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,455 But Tracey! 84 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,562 Got sensitive butt, believe me. 85 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,565 and maybe she was right to leave me home. 86 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,535 with nothing but my butt. 87 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,440 She left me sad and lonely, 88 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,476 and now it's me and only my 89 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,446 incredibly sensitive butt. 90 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:22,450 Someday I'll make the perfect poo, 91 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,585 and wish it was inside of you, 92 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:30,458 but now it's me and just my own poop alone. 93 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,593 Till then I'll wish upon a star 94 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,496 and wonder where the fuck you are 95 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,499 but will not care because you are 96 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,469 such a bitch. 97 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:46,540 Somewhere outside my butthole 98 00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:50,511 I can make it my way. 99 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:57,485 Somewhere outside my butthole 100 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:01,522 a light as bright as the day 101 00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:07,495 Someday I'll make the perfect poo. 102 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,525 Hey, Man. 103 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,661 Life ain't all about ass and titties. 104 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:44,598 Um, yeah I know that. 105 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,534 It's just... 106 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,537 sometimes... 107 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,540 life just hurts. 108 00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,543 I hear ya, brother. 109 00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:00,614 The secret to life is to smoke pot every day. Twenty-four seven, three sixty-five. 110 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,554 It'll get you in to places. 111 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,691 Say, uh, can you help out an aspiring street musci-magician? 112 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,627 I gotta take a mean poop. 113 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:18,566 Um, yeah, I have this toilet paper. 114 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:25,706 Man, I can't use this. I got a sensitive butthole. 115 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,710 Me too. 116 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:47,595 Hey man, I gotta take a poop real bad. 117 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:51,599 Yeah man. Me too. 118 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:53,701 Me too. 119 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:29,637 Hello, Ron. 120 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,772 Oh, hey Zach. 121 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,741 How's it going? 122 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,779 Not so good. I'm still pretty bummed about my mom, and Tracey just left me. 123 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:43,651 What? That bitch. 124 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:45,686 Don't let it get you down. It'll work out. 125 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,756 Just wait like 90 minutes. 126 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:50,691 Are you here to get some hand lotion? 127 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,793 Nah, I just use spit. 128 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,664 I just... I don't know what I'm doing Zach. 129 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,799 I gotta get my shit together. 130 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:00,768 Hey, are you guys hiring? 131 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,604 Yes, actually. However, there is one problem. 132 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,675 All new employees must pass a drug test. 133 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,609 Why would that be a problem? 134 00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,813 Well, for one thing you're smoking a joint right now. 135 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,615 Good point. 136 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,788 And if I'm not mistaken, aren't you scraping the mucus off an Amazonian toad for ingestion purposes, no? 137 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,702 Yeah, maybe you're right. 138 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,671 Ron, don't give up so easily. 139 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:42,642 I know a guy. A guy who can get you things. 140 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,747 Things like 100% pure unfiltered baby urine. 141 00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:48,816 Why would you filter it? 142 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,720 Have you ever smelled a baby's dick, Ron? 143 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:55,856 It's not pleasant. 144 00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:59,860 And this stuff is so clean, you can drink it. 145 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,867 I gotta go. 146 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:08,869 I gotta take a shit. 147 00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:10,738 You go, Ron. 148 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,773 Fly, fly! 149 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,745 Oh, Ah, Oh! 150 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,748 Ah, it's crowning! 151 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,752 I can feel the shark fin forming! 152 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,756 AAAAAHHHH! 153 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:29,890 Oh boy! 154 00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,860 How'm I gonna wipe my butt? 155 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,763 Ew!! Ah!! 156 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:49,910 But, don't you need it? 157 00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:51,912 We can share. 158 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,815 No, it's ok. You can keep it. 159 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,784 Thanks, man! 160 00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,821 Bring, ring! Ring, ring! 161 00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:02,923 Sorry, I got a phone call. 162 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:10,831 Yes, he's here. 163 00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,801 Who may I say is calling? 164 00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:18,906 It's for you. 165 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,942 It's the universe. 166 00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,814 Don't get your boogers on it! 167 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,817 Don't get your boogers on it! 168 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:30,851 What? 169 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,889 Say, you wanna come back to my house, and maybe butt-chug some toilet wine with me? 170 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,827 It's like my pappy used to say, 171 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,964 "If you don't like the taste, put it in your butt." 172 00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:47,968 Uhhm. No thanks. 173 00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,838 Maybe next time? 174 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,921 My name is Beau Nerjoose, 175 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:12,993 and I'm evil as fuck! 176 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,898 My name is Beau Nerjoose, 177 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,970 and I'm evil as fuck! 178 00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:28,876 I am Beau Nerjoose. I am Beau Nerjoose. 179 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,913 He is Beau Nerjoose. He is Beau Nerjoose. 180 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,017 I am Beau Nerjoose. I am Beau Nerjoose. 181 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,889 He is Beau Nerjoose. He is Beau Nerjoose. 182 00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:46,927 I am Beau Nerjoose. I am Beau Nerjoose. 183 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:53,033 Beau! 184 00:13:56,904 --> 00:14:00,908 Nerjoose! 185 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:01,641 My name is 186 00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:06,914 Beau! 187 00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:12,920 Nerjoose! 188 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,019 Pants! 189 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,001 Ronny, is that you? 190 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,972 Hey mom. How's it going? I love you 191 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,975 I love you too, Ronny. 192 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,978 The laser avocado left a rotten 193 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:16,016 you still wanna make a jelly-bean pyramid. 194 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:21,088 Also, there's gonna be a pirate-riot in my ringer-jam boobie land. 195 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:28,996 Oh, that's good mom. Or bad. Or interesting or whatever. 196 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,132 I'm sorry I'm so goddamn crazy. 197 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,036 I blame Beau Nerjoose. 198 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:41,074 Look, mom. I know you were a prostitute, and that's ok. Lots of moms are prostitutes, 199 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:46,146 but when you use words like bonerjuice, it just puts these weird images in my head. 200 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:53,120 Sorry, but Beau Nerjoose, he messed with my titties and made me shit out my sanity! 201 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,024 That's just gross. 202 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:02,029 Ooo, Ronny. Your pants... Are you crazy too? 203 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,097 No, I just found these. 204 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,099 Where are your pants? 205 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:10,037 Well, I farted and a little poop came out. 206 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,173 You did? Ooo, describe it to me, Ronny. 207 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,176 You and your useless nose. I love it. 208 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:21,048 I'll always love the smell of your farts, Ronny. 209 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,184 At least the way you describe them to me. 210 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:30,157 And that was, "No, Fuck You Dad," by Everclear. 211 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,061 Hey Ronny, What do you want to do today? 212 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,196 I don't know. Hey Mom, Guess what. 213 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,200 Ha, ha! Hilarious! 214 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,070 Describe the smell to me, Ronny. 215 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:48,208 It smells like someone pooped puke out of an armpit. 216 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:53,146 Ha, Ha, Ha, damn Ronny. That's a good one. 217 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,082 I love you so much! 218 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,084 Love you too, mom. 219 00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:03,190 Coming up next, another shitty, fucking song by Sublime. 220 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:10,097 Yeah, those were some good times. 221 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,100 Mom. 222 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,135 Mom? 223 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,104 Mom? 224 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:20,107 Mom, why'd you fall asleep for no reason? 225 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,111 Hey doctor, it's Ron. 226 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,179 Uh, my mom's gone to sleep for no reason. 227 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,115 I think there's something wrong with her. 228 00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:29,249 Boner-time. 229 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,134 Ron. 230 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:48,268 Your mother's gone into a coma, 231 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,137 Oh God. 232 00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,140 and she has genital herpes. 233 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,142 Oh God. 234 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,144 How do you know she has genital herpes? 235 00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:00,147 Because I have genital herpes. 236 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,149 Did you have sex with my mom? 237 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:06,153 Oh yeah, I've been having sex with her for quite sometime. 238 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,155 She's crazy, you know. 239 00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:11,158 Crazy 'bout this dick! 240 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:20,167 Anyway, there's something important we need to discuss. 241 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:21,401 Not only am I your mother's doctor, 242 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,170 but I'm also her lawyer. 243 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,174 And as such, I must tell you that according to your mother's last wishes, 244 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,243 if she's in a coma longer than a week, she is to be euthanized. 245 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,179 What should I do? 246 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,181 Definitely don't have sex with her. 247 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,183 She's got a bad case of genital herpes, 248 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,185 and also, she's your mom. 249 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,220 Right. Right. You're totally right. 250 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:41,254 Here Ron. 251 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:48,295 Let me give you an invitation to her euthanasia slash funeral ceremony slash karaoke party. 252 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:54,201 Let's see here. A week from today would be next Monday. 253 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,204 I really hope you can make it. 254 00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,272 I'm sure Agnes would love to have you. 255 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,242 And take care Ron. Call me if you have any questions. 256 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:07,314 Ah, thanks. This is all just so awful. 257 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:12,352 Ron, genital herpes isn't that big of a deal. One can live a happy and healthy sexual life. 258 00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:17,224 I'm talking about my mom dying in a week. 259 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,227 Oh that. Yeah. Well. 260 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,295 C'est la vie, Ron. 261 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,231 C'est la vie. 262 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:37,310 No, it's not. 263 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:42,349 Life ain't about dicks and wieners no matter what you thought. 264 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:51,291 So fuckin' sad, mom's in a coma and she's got herpes too. 265 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:58,265 So fuckin sad, my wife is a whore... 266 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,338 Shit. 267 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,275 Poop. 268 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,213 Definetly poop. 269 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,351 Where there's poop, there's mushrooms. 270 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,362 I really don't want to eat this. 271 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:35,234 If you don't like the taste, put it in your butt. 272 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:44,444 OK, here we go. 273 00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:29,356 Oi, I'm flying' here. 274 00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:32,459 Excuse me, helicockter. 275 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:34,494 Oh, you're a right cunt, ain't ya. 276 00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:09,462 I'm tripping on mushrooms. 277 00:22:14,401 --> 00:22:19,406 To mend my broken heart before it splits 278 00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:24,411 in two and spills blood all over the floor. 279 00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:34,487 I'm tripping on you. 280 00:22:38,425 --> 00:22:41,494 I'm tripping on everything. 281 00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:46,566 There's a bear jerking off over there. 282 00:22:47,434 --> 00:22:50,470 And he's looking at me. 283 00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:53,540 He's looking at me. 284 00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:57,544 He's looking at me. 285 00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:02,582 He's looking at me. 286 00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:08,455 I'm tripping on mushrooms. 287 00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:16,563 To mend my broken heart before it splits 288 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:22,502 in two and pours blood all over the floor. 289 00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:53,566 Weird. 290 00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:57,537 Hey Ron. 291 00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:02,509 Hello? 292 00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:05,578 C'mon stupid. I'm in your butthole. 293 00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:08,515 Yeah right. My butthole. 294 00:24:09,348 --> 00:24:11,518 No. Seriously, let's talk. 295 00:24:13,653 --> 00:24:15,555 Alright. 296 00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:24,531 I don't see anything. 297 00:24:25,932 --> 00:24:27,567 Move your dick and balls out of the way, you fucking idiot. 298 00:24:29,536 --> 00:24:32,539 Oh hey little buddy. How'd you get in there? 299 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,541 I was in the mushroom you shoved up your ass! 300 00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:37,544 Oh, sorry. Oopsie doopsie. 301 00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:42,549 It's ok. I'm a bootyworm. I like being in buttholes. 302 00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:43,215 So what's up? 303 00:24:43,950 --> 00:24:44,684 You're in danger, Ron. 304 00:24:45,685 --> 00:24:46,653 How do you know my name? 305 00:24:47,554 --> 00:24:49,556 Because you're the chosen one. 306 00:24:51,591 --> 00:24:54,561 This has been a weird day. 307 00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:56,696 My wife, Tracey left me. 308 00:24:57,564 --> 00:24:58,598 I crapped my pants. 309 00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:00,567 My mom's crazy. 310 00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:02,569 Your mom, Ron! She's very important! 311 00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:03,870 What are you talking about, little guy? 312 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:05,705 There's no time for this, Ron. Listen closely. 313 00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:08,675 There's an evil man intent on controlling the universe. 314 00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:11,744 I've come here from the planet Urectum to get your help. 315 00:25:12,912 --> 00:25:14,614 We've come in search of the great fleshlight. 316 00:25:15,715 --> 00:25:17,584 I've been upside down for a long time. 317 00:25:18,718 --> 00:25:19,619 Ron, stay with me! We don't have much time! 318 00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:22,689 You have to save your mother! Your mother's anus! 319 00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:24,724 Gross. 320 00:25:25,592 --> 00:25:27,594 Ron! Ron! 321 00:25:28,327 --> 00:25:30,597 That's cool, man. 322 00:25:31,130 --> 00:25:33,600 Shrooming! 323 00:25:35,668 --> 00:25:38,638 Shrooms sure make me horny. 324 00:25:40,607 --> 00:25:43,610 I'm walking all alone. 325 00:25:45,612 --> 00:25:48,648 And these shrooms gave me a bone. 326 00:25:50,617 --> 00:25:53,620 And Tracey now I know. 327 00:25:55,622 --> 00:25:58,625 You'll never touch my bone. 328 00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:04,764 It's raining teardrops on my boner. 329 00:26:05,832 --> 00:26:09,769 I'm crying teardrops on my boner. 330 00:26:10,803 --> 00:26:14,774 It's raining teardrops on my boner. 331 00:26:15,842 --> 00:26:19,712 I'm crying teardrops on my boner. 332 00:26:20,813 --> 00:26:24,751 Bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone! 333 00:26:25,852 --> 00:26:29,789 Bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone! 334 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:38,731 Talkin' 'bout teardrops! 335 00:26:39,331 --> 00:26:43,736 On my boner! 336 00:26:44,470 --> 00:26:48,741 Talkin' 'bout teardrops! 337 00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:53,780 On my boner! 338 00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:58,818 Oooo hooo wooo! 339 00:26:59,686 --> 00:27:03,823 Oooo hooo wooo! 340 00:27:04,691 --> 00:27:05,692 Oooo... 341 00:27:54,741 --> 00:27:59,746 Sometimes the world, it'll get you down. 342 00:28:01,748 --> 00:28:06,753 It will break you up, it will chew you out. 343 00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:12,859 When you've been pushed and beaten down. 344 00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:19,832 You feel like crawling into the ground. 345 00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:26,806 Let evil be, let evil be. 346 00:28:28,775 --> 00:28:33,780 Oh sad and powerless me. 347 00:28:48,795 --> 00:28:50,797 Is it him? 348 00:28:51,497 --> 00:28:53,800 I don't know, dickhead. 349 00:28:54,801 --> 00:28:55,902 Wake up, my son. 350 00:28:58,805 --> 00:28:59,839 Wake up! 351 00:29:05,812 --> 00:29:06,813 What the fuck happened? 352 00:29:08,214 --> 00:29:09,916 Well, we found you here in the middle of the woods, young boy. 353 00:29:11,050 --> 00:29:12,885 Looks like you hit your head pretty hard, 354 00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:16,856 but this should here your cerebral pains. 355 00:29:22,829 --> 00:29:24,831 This taste like hot shit. 356 00:29:25,664 --> 00:29:27,867 That's because it is hot shit. 357 00:29:29,435 --> 00:29:31,838 We have no coffee out here. We're in the middle of the woods. 358 00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:32,839 C'mon. 359 00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:33,840 Right, right. 360 00:29:34,306 --> 00:29:34,841 Hello. 361 00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:38,878 I am Sister Buttfister. 362 00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:43,916 This is Sister Fuckface and Sister Dicktwister. 363 00:29:44,650 --> 00:29:44,984 What's your name, boy? 364 00:29:45,852 --> 00:29:46,919 Ron. Ron. I'm Ron. 365 00:29:47,386 --> 00:29:48,855 Oh. 366 00:29:49,856 --> 00:29:50,890 God, I had the weirdest day yesterday. 367 00:29:51,357 --> 00:29:51,924 Really? 368 00:29:52,859 --> 00:29:53,860 Yeah, my wife, Tracey left me. 369 00:29:54,927 --> 00:29:55,061 She said I'm not good enough for her, 370 00:29:55,928 --> 00:29:56,929 and then blah, blah, blah. 371 00:29:57,864 --> 00:29:58,865 Do you think he's the one? 372 00:30:00,867 --> 00:30:03,903 I doubt it. The prophecy said nothing of the chosen one being covered in bear semen. 373 00:30:05,838 --> 00:30:08,908 Bear semen? Why do you think it's bear semen? 374 00:30:10,042 --> 00:30:12,811 Let's just say I wasn't always a nun. 375 00:30:14,713 --> 00:30:17,950 And then I hit my head on that tree, and it knocked my out right here. 376 00:30:19,118 --> 00:30:22,821 Oh my. Now that is quite the tale. 377 00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:24,924 Now tell me Ron. At any point in your journey, 378 00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:27,894 did you come across a nun just like us? 379 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:29,929 Younger? Slightly sexier? 380 00:30:30,796 --> 00:30:32,899 Her name was Sister Hope. 381 00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:37,036 Not unless Sister Hope is fully erect claymation bear. 382 00:30:38,270 --> 00:30:40,940 No, I see no reason why she'd have an erection. 383 00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:45,912 Hope has been captured by the evil Dr. Nerjoose. 384 00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,950 There's worm in my butthole that was talking about an evil doctor. 385 00:30:52,651 --> 00:30:54,853 Ron, we're nuns of an ancient religion that speaks of a prophecy. 386 00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,991 This prophecy speaks of a man and woman that will end all suffering on Earth. 387 00:31:00,426 --> 00:31:02,962 We believe Hope may be this woman. And you may be this man. 388 00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,064 Yeah right. Sure. 389 00:31:06,999 --> 00:31:10,937 Ron, the prophecy speaks of a booty worm much like your own booty worm. 390 00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:16,008 Let me guess. Does Hope have one of these talking worms in her asshole? 391 00:31:17,944 --> 00:31:18,945 No! 392 00:31:20,079 --> 00:31:23,049 Hope's butthole is as pure as the driven snow! 393 00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:25,952 I'm sorries. 394 00:31:26,818 --> 00:31:27,954 Sister Hope is very dear to us. 395 00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:31,090 We've cherished her since the day she came to our convent 396 00:31:31,958 --> 00:31:34,961 nineteen years ago! 397 00:31:36,328 --> 00:31:39,031 Me and the girls were outside sunbathing the titties, 398 00:31:40,166 --> 00:31:43,002 and Hope just appeared on our door step. 399 00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:46,072 I remember it like it was yesterday, 400 00:31:46,973 --> 00:31:49,976 yesterday, yesterday, yesterday, 401 00:31:50,876 --> 00:31:53,980 yesterday, yesterday, yesterday, 402 00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:54,981 yesterday... 403 00:32:00,119 --> 00:32:01,120 Holy shit! 404 00:32:02,588 --> 00:32:04,991 Someone left a baby on the steps of our convent. 405 00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:06,125 Oh Fuck that. 406 00:32:06,993 --> 00:32:09,028 Oh she's adorable. That's it! 407 00:32:10,196 --> 00:32:11,998 We're keeping her, and we'll name her Hope. 408 00:32:12,864 --> 00:32:14,000 Oh look! She has a bottle. 409 00:32:15,101 --> 00:32:17,069 What the fuck is in there? 410 00:32:18,537 --> 00:32:20,139 I don't know, but it fucking stinks like fucking maggots. 411 00:32:27,013 --> 00:32:28,014 What is this? 412 00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:29,081 It sure looks shitty. 413 00:32:30,516 --> 00:32:32,051 We got some mother fucking maggots on our titties! 414 00:32:32,651 --> 00:32:33,119 I don't like it. 415 00:32:34,020 --> 00:32:35,021 This is the pits. 416 00:32:36,322 --> 00:32:37,156 We got some mother fucking maggots on our tits! 417 00:32:38,024 --> 00:32:40,059 Fuck! We got tittie maggots! 418 00:32:40,926 --> 00:32:43,029 Fuck! Talkin' tittie maggots! 419 00:32:43,862 --> 00:32:45,164 Fuck! We got tittie maggots! 420 00:32:46,032 --> 00:32:47,066 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 421 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:48,067 Fuckin' tittie maggots! 422 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,135 This fuckin' blows. 423 00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:51,037 This fuckin' sucks. 424 00:32:52,371 --> 00:32:53,139 I got some mother fucking maggots on my jugs! 425 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:54,173 This is fucked. 426 00:32:55,041 --> 00:32:56,042 It's totally whack! 427 00:32:57,409 --> 00:32:59,045 I've got some mother fucking maggots on my rack! 428 00:32:59,911 --> 00:33:01,180 Fuck! We got tittie maggots! 429 00:33:02,148 --> 00:33:04,083 Fuck! Talkin' tittie maggots! 430 00:33:04,950 --> 00:33:07,053 Fuck! We got tittie maggots! 431 00:33:07,853 --> 00:33:08,154 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 432 00:33:09,055 --> 00:33:09,188 Fuckin' tittie maggots! 433 00:33:10,056 --> 00:33:12,091 Fuck! We got tittie maggots 434 00:33:12,958 --> 00:33:15,061 Fuck! Talkin' tittie maggots 435 00:33:15,861 --> 00:33:17,163 Fuck! We got tittie maggots. 436 00:33:18,064 --> 00:33:19,098 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 437 00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,100 Fuckin' tittie maggots! 438 00:33:26,072 --> 00:33:30,109 And we've had these fucking maggots on our titties ever since! 439 00:33:30,576 --> 00:33:33,079 Oh No! 440 00:33:37,216 --> 00:33:40,086 I'm at the weigh station of refusal. 441 00:33:44,090 --> 00:33:46,092 Holy shit. 442 00:33:46,658 --> 00:33:48,160 He is the one. 443 00:33:48,627 --> 00:33:51,130 Totally. 444 00:33:51,730 --> 00:33:53,165 For sure. 445 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:14,253 Hello, my dear. 446 00:34:15,121 --> 00:34:16,155 What shall it be? 447 00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:19,125 Fortune or pleasure? 448 00:34:20,259 --> 00:34:24,163 Well, everything's been so screwed up lately. 449 00:34:25,331 --> 00:34:27,199 I have no idea where I'm going in life. 450 00:34:27,933 --> 00:34:29,201 I feel so directionless. 451 00:34:30,269 --> 00:34:32,271 I could really use a hand 452 00:34:33,139 --> 00:34:34,240 job. 453 00:34:35,141 --> 00:34:38,144 Sure, honey. That'll be 25. 454 00:34:47,186 --> 00:34:49,255 Save some for next time, Ron! 455 00:34:50,156 --> 00:34:50,289 Ok. 456 00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:54,193 Let's see what the universe has in store for you. 457 00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:58,164 Oh my. I see such sorrow. 458 00:34:58,897 --> 00:35:00,166 Did you lose someone? 459 00:35:00,966 --> 00:35:02,301 Well, my wife just left me. 460 00:35:02,901 --> 00:35:04,303 That's not it. 461 00:35:05,171 --> 00:35:07,173 I see something else... 462 00:35:07,839 --> 00:35:09,175 something deeper. 463 00:35:09,641 --> 00:35:11,210 Well... 464 00:35:12,378 --> 00:35:15,181 my mom did just slip into a coma, 465 00:35:16,482 --> 00:35:18,184 but she's been looney-toons crazy for 20 years. 466 00:35:19,050 --> 00:35:21,187 20 years? Oh my God, that's it! 467 00:35:22,053 --> 00:35:23,255 Are you little Ronny Wartyhymen? 468 00:35:23,989 --> 00:35:25,191 How did you know? 469 00:35:26,525 --> 00:35:29,195 Well, Agnes Wartyhymen was the best whore we had. 470 00:35:30,329 --> 00:35:31,297 Oh, we gobbled a lot of hogs together. 471 00:35:32,198 --> 00:35:35,234 Oh, we had some crazy times. 472 00:35:36,702 --> 00:35:40,206 She was the only whore in town to do the chili dog. 473 00:35:41,006 --> 00:35:41,207 Do you know what that is? 474 00:35:41,607 --> 00:35:42,208 No. 475 00:35:44,009 --> 00:35:46,278 Oh, it's goddamn disgusting. I puked the first time I saw her do it. 476 00:35:47,713 --> 00:35:50,282 But the men, they would line up around the block to see it. 477 00:35:51,617 --> 00:35:53,319 Just stop. That's disgusting. That's gross. 478 00:35:54,220 --> 00:35:55,221 I don't wanna hear it. 479 00:35:56,255 --> 00:35:58,357 Sorry kid. I was just being nostalgic. 480 00:35:59,458 --> 00:36:01,327 You see, I haven't seen Agnes in 20 years, 481 00:36:02,761 --> 00:36:06,232 ever since she went crazy and was sent to the looney bin. 482 00:36:06,932 --> 00:36:07,366 What happened that day? 483 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:13,239 The day she went crazy and got sent to the looney bin? 484 00:36:14,373 --> 00:36:17,343 Well, it started out like any other day. 485 00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:20,246 She had a visit from one of her regulars. 486 00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:21,280 A doctor. 487 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,249 He was a real pig, 488 00:36:25,251 --> 00:36:26,352 and your mother was worried that he might be falling in love with her, 489 00:36:27,819 --> 00:36:30,289 because he just couldn't stop putting his penis inside her. 490 00:36:32,391 --> 00:36:35,361 I could hear them all the way across the whore house, so I went to make sure everything was ok. 491 00:36:38,364 --> 00:36:40,332 All I could I see was his butt. 492 00:36:41,066 --> 00:36:43,302 His sweaty, hairy butt. 493 00:36:44,503 --> 00:36:47,273 And then this white light began to glow. 494 00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:54,280 He ran out of the whore house like his balls were on fire. 495 00:36:56,282 --> 00:37:00,286 I ran into Agnes' room to find out what happened. 496 00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:05,291 Whatever happened to her that night changed her. 497 00:37:06,425 --> 00:37:08,394 Now she's just a goddamn fruitcake. 498 00:37:08,994 --> 00:37:11,330 That bastard! 499 00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:13,299 I had no idea. 500 00:37:13,832 --> 00:37:15,301 I mean... 501 00:37:16,001 --> 00:37:18,337 I still have no idea. 502 00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:19,338 What does that mean? 503 00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:22,374 Well, there's something I want to show you. 504 00:37:23,509 --> 00:37:25,444 and then maybe you'll understand. 505 00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:30,316 Soon, this will all make sense. 506 00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:32,318 The booty worms. 507 00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:33,419 The tittle maggots. 508 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,455 It's part of a great prophecy. 509 00:37:37,623 --> 00:37:39,458 A long time ago like 15 galaxies away, 510 00:37:40,859 --> 00:37:43,329 there was the peaceful, but smelly planet of Urectum 511 00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:47,333 where booty worms and tittie maggots lived happily together. 512 00:37:48,634 --> 00:37:50,469 We were the first and most powerful planet in the universe. 513 00:37:51,337 --> 00:37:53,339 That shit was to so cool. 514 00:37:54,139 --> 00:37:55,341 Because of how awesome we were, 515 00:37:56,442 --> 00:37:57,343 the big guy in the sky or whatever, 516 00:37:58,477 --> 00:37:59,378 came down from the heavens or whatever, 517 00:38:00,579 --> 00:38:02,381 and entrusted us, the keys to the universe. 518 00:38:03,582 --> 00:38:04,483 The great dildo and the great fleshlight 519 00:38:05,351 --> 00:38:07,353 kept the stars burning bright 520 00:38:08,387 --> 00:38:10,389 and breathed life throughout the galaxies. 521 00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:13,359 But then there was the great war. 522 00:38:14,860 --> 00:38:17,463 Evil space pirates crashed on Urectum and started fucking shit up. 523 00:38:18,664 --> 00:38:20,399 They were raping and murdering everybody. 524 00:38:21,533 --> 00:38:23,369 To protect the universe, it was decided that 525 00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:26,405 we would move the great dildo and the great flashlight elsewhere. 526 00:38:27,573 --> 00:38:29,408 For if evil were ever to get ahold of the two, 527 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,379 the universe would descend into darkness forever. 528 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,381 The great dildo was moved to Earth 529 00:38:37,383 --> 00:38:39,451 and entrusted to a whore who in lived in a whore house with her whore sister 530 00:38:40,185 --> 00:38:41,520 who was also a whore. 531 00:38:42,588 --> 00:38:43,522 And the great fleshlight was entrusted to 532 00:38:44,590 --> 00:38:46,392 an earthling fellowship that promised to 533 00:38:47,493 --> 00:38:49,395 protect it until the end of days was near. 534 00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:53,399 Your mother was the keeper of the great dildo, Ron. 535 00:38:54,199 --> 00:38:54,500 She kept it in her butthole. 536 00:38:55,967 --> 00:38:59,538 The man who took her sanity took it by stealing the great dildo. 537 00:39:00,406 --> 00:39:02,441 What was the name of this man? 538 00:39:03,875 --> 00:39:05,444 The man who took the great dildo from her butthole. 539 00:39:06,311 --> 00:39:07,413 His name was Dr. Nerjoose. 540 00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:09,415 Dr. Beau Nerjoose. 541 00:39:10,816 --> 00:39:14,453 He had an unquenchable thirst for Beau Nerjoose. 542 00:39:15,887 --> 00:39:18,457 Ron, you must reunite your mother with the great dildo. 543 00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:21,427 Only then, will her sanity return. 544 00:39:22,494 --> 00:39:23,562 But first you will need the great flashlight 545 00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:26,565 To get the great fleshlight, you must climb Dick Mountain. 546 00:39:28,434 --> 00:39:30,469 It's a day's hike. I would bring lots of water and some cliff bars. 547 00:39:31,336 --> 00:39:31,570 I don't even have hiking shoes. 548 00:39:32,671 --> 00:39:33,539 Stop being a fucking asshole, Ron. 549 00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:35,574 REI is a great place to get them. 550 00:39:36,742 --> 00:39:37,509 You can return them when you're done. 551 00:39:38,243 --> 00:39:39,445 But be careful, Ron. 552 00:39:40,579 --> 00:39:42,448 Dr. Beau Nerjoose is pure unadulterated evil. 553 00:39:43,181 --> 00:39:44,450 Good luck, my son. 554 00:39:45,617 --> 00:39:50,489 I'm gonna shit all over Beau Nerjoose. 555 00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:56,528 I'm gonna shit on Beau Nerjoose. 556 00:39:57,963 --> 00:40:00,566 Yeah, you know that you have got nothing to lose. 557 00:40:01,767 --> 00:40:04,536 If I snooze I lose. I've got to do what's right. 558 00:40:05,971 --> 00:40:09,475 Yeah you know you gotta get the great fleshlight. 559 00:40:10,942 --> 00:40:13,512 'cause when the clock ticks down, and I've got no time. 560 00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:18,450 You've gotta put your balls on the fucking line. 561 00:40:19,317 --> 00:40:22,454 I will do what I need to do. 562 00:40:23,655 --> 00:40:25,524 Find that man and make him eat poo. 563 00:40:26,391 --> 00:40:30,562 I'm gonna shit on Beau Nerjoose. 564 00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:38,637 Wait. 565 00:40:40,539 --> 00:40:43,441 The great tittle maggot said that my mom was a whore 566 00:40:44,342 --> 00:40:45,611 who lived in a whore house 567 00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:47,546 with her sister 568 00:40:48,313 --> 00:40:49,447 who was also a whore. 569 00:40:50,348 --> 00:40:50,549 Are you my mom's whore... 570 00:40:51,182 --> 00:40:52,450 sister? Yes. 571 00:40:53,084 --> 00:40:53,485 Your aunt. 572 00:40:54,119 --> 00:40:54,586 Your whore-aunt. 573 00:40:56,555 --> 00:40:59,625 But you gave me a hand-job. A really good one, too. 574 00:41:00,926 --> 00:41:02,728 That's disgusting. Why didn't you say something? 575 00:41:04,195 --> 00:41:07,533 Well, I didn't realize who you were until after the hand-job. 576 00:41:08,667 --> 00:41:10,536 And then I didn't want to make things weird. 577 00:41:11,336 --> 00:41:12,638 Yeah, I guess you're right. 578 00:41:13,539 --> 00:41:15,541 You want another one, Ron? 579 00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:17,543 Family discount? 580 00:41:18,376 --> 00:41:19,611 In fact, it's on the house. 581 00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:20,679 No 582 00:41:21,547 --> 00:41:22,581 question about it. 583 00:41:30,556 --> 00:41:32,558 You sure did save some! 584 00:41:33,692 --> 00:41:36,562 Fuck REI, Ron. 585 00:41:37,929 --> 00:41:39,665 All you need for your trip to dick mountain is in here. 586 00:41:41,567 --> 00:41:42,568 Thanks, Aunt Esmerelda. 587 00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:43,702 You're welcome. 588 00:41:45,103 --> 00:41:46,705 Now you have a treacherous journey ahead of you, 589 00:41:48,173 --> 00:41:50,609 and Aunt Esmerelda can't be around to jack you off, 590 00:41:51,777 --> 00:41:53,579 so here's something for your wiener. 591 00:41:56,582 --> 00:41:58,584 Thanks, Aunt Esmerelda. 592 00:41:59,217 --> 00:42:00,719 You're so sweet. 593 00:42:01,587 --> 00:42:02,721 No kissing customers. 594 00:42:03,454 --> 00:42:04,590 It's one of my rules. 595 00:42:05,423 --> 00:42:06,625 It's one of my whore-rules. 596 00:42:07,092 --> 00:42:07,593 Oh. 597 00:42:08,727 --> 00:42:10,629 I understand. 598 00:42:11,697 --> 00:42:12,631 Good-bye Ron. 599 00:42:13,498 --> 00:42:14,666 Good-bye, Aunt Esmerelda. 600 00:42:34,686 --> 00:42:36,622 Oh... 601 00:42:37,422 --> 00:42:38,690 we're going up the mountain. 602 00:42:39,157 --> 00:42:40,726 To... 603 00:42:41,627 --> 00:42:42,728 get the great big fleshlight 604 00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:44,696 with... 605 00:42:45,430 --> 00:42:47,633 my friend the booty worm 606 00:42:48,033 --> 00:42:48,734 yeah... 607 00:42:49,635 --> 00:42:52,671 together gonna save the world. 608 00:42:54,673 --> 00:42:56,708 Save the world! 609 00:43:03,782 --> 00:43:05,684 Oh... 610 00:43:06,551 --> 00:43:07,753 we're going up the mountain. 611 00:43:08,654 --> 00:43:09,788 To... 612 00:43:10,656 --> 00:43:12,658 get the great big fleshlight 613 00:43:13,058 --> 00:43:13,759 with... 614 00:43:14,660 --> 00:43:16,662 my friend the booty worm 615 00:43:17,062 --> 00:43:18,664 yeah... 616 00:43:19,464 --> 00:43:20,799 together gonna save the world. 617 00:43:21,667 --> 00:43:21,800 Shhhhh! 618 00:43:22,668 --> 00:43:23,769 Hey, hey! 619 00:43:24,502 --> 00:43:25,804 What? What is it? 620 00:43:26,672 --> 00:43:28,707 I think we made it. 621 00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:30,809 I think we made it to the top of dick mountain. 622 00:43:31,677 --> 00:43:32,678 How do you know? 623 00:43:33,879 --> 00:43:35,681 Well because I can see a giant dick. 624 00:43:36,114 --> 00:43:37,783 Yes! 625 00:43:40,819 --> 00:43:42,688 Hey there. 626 00:43:46,692 --> 00:43:47,693 Hello, sir. 627 00:43:48,727 --> 00:43:50,696 My name's Ron. 628 00:43:51,496 --> 00:43:53,699 I'm here to save the universe. 629 00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:56,702 I'm on a quest to save my mom. 630 00:43:57,836 --> 00:43:59,705 She was the keeper of the great dildo. 631 00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:02,874 until Dr. Beau Nerjoose took it from her. 632 00:44:03,709 --> 00:44:04,743 Is this Dick Mountain? 633 00:44:06,712 --> 00:44:06,812 Ron! 634 00:44:07,278 --> 00:44:07,746 Shhh! 635 00:44:08,213 --> 00:44:08,346 Ron! 636 00:44:08,814 --> 00:44:09,715 Shhhhh! 637 00:44:11,717 --> 00:44:12,851 Hold on just one second. 638 00:44:15,854 --> 00:44:17,789 What do you want? This is really embarrassing! 639 00:44:18,724 --> 00:44:19,758 Let me doing the talking. 640 00:44:20,926 --> 00:44:22,728 I can clear this whole thing up real quick. 641 00:44:24,129 --> 00:44:25,731 No way! I'm not gonna shove my butthole into that guy's face. 642 00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:28,867 No, no, no, no. I need to talk to his booty worm. 643 00:44:29,835 --> 00:44:30,869 Fine! 644 00:44:32,971 --> 00:44:35,741 Um, do you wanna go butt-to-butt? 645 00:44:45,884 --> 00:44:47,886 Hey, this guy's the chosen one. 646 00:44:48,954 --> 00:44:50,889 Really? He kinda looks like an asshole. 647 00:44:51,757 --> 00:44:51,857 Are you sure? 648 00:44:52,457 --> 00:44:53,759 I'm pretty sure. 649 00:44:54,860 --> 00:44:55,761 His mom was the keeper of the great dildo. 650 00:44:56,862 --> 00:44:57,896 What does he have to do to get the fleshlight? 651 00:44:59,064 --> 00:45:01,767 He's got to prove his worth to the fellowship. 652 00:45:02,934 --> 00:45:03,769 In order to get the great fleshlight, 653 00:45:05,170 --> 00:45:06,805 he has to break all ten commandments in 24 hours. 654 00:45:07,939 --> 00:45:09,775 Sounds pretty stupid and convoluted. 655 00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:10,909 Yes. Yes it is, 656 00:45:11,777 --> 00:45:12,878 but once he breaks them, 657 00:45:14,012 --> 00:45:15,781 the great fleshlight will appear before him. 658 00:45:16,481 --> 00:45:16,848 One more thing Phil. 659 00:45:18,016 --> 00:45:19,785 The chosen one must do this without your help. 660 00:45:21,352 --> 00:45:22,888 You need to stay here on dick mountain in this bald guy's butthole. 661 00:45:23,621 --> 00:45:24,823 Ok, I'll tell him. 662 00:45:25,991 --> 00:45:27,793 May the dildo fuck the fleshlight! 663 00:45:29,928 --> 00:45:30,896 Hey Ron! 664 00:45:31,797 --> 00:45:31,863 Yeah buddy? 665 00:45:32,463 --> 00:45:32,931 I got the info. 666 00:45:34,099 --> 00:45:37,869 You need to break all 10 commandments 667 00:45:38,603 --> 00:45:39,938 What? Are you serious? 668 00:45:41,139 --> 00:45:42,808 And you have to do this on your own. 669 00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:45,877 Please pick me up and pop me in the old man's butthole. 670 00:45:47,045 --> 00:45:47,879 I don't know if I can do this myself. 671 00:45:49,314 --> 00:45:50,816 I've been getting use to having a worm in my butt. 672 00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:53,852 You can do this. You're the chosen one. 673 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:56,822 Ok. I'll do it... 674 00:45:57,222 --> 00:45:57,823 for mom. 675 00:46:00,959 --> 00:46:02,894 Good luck, Ron! 676 00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:05,831 I enjoyed staying in your butthole! 677 00:46:13,905 --> 00:46:15,874 Ten commandments. 678 00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:18,844 So... Are we good? 679 00:46:19,244 --> 00:46:19,945 Ok. 680 00:46:22,981 --> 00:46:24,850 This way? 681 00:46:38,930 --> 00:46:42,868 Thou shall not work on the sabbath. 682 00:46:43,935 --> 00:46:45,904 What day is the sabbath? 683 00:46:46,872 --> 00:46:47,873 Sunday? 684 00:46:48,406 --> 00:46:48,974 What's today? 685 00:46:50,942 --> 00:46:52,878 Tuesday. 686 00:46:54,012 --> 00:46:55,881 Shit, I've got some time to kill. 687 00:47:19,037 --> 00:47:23,008 Thou shalt not work on the sabbath. 688 00:47:23,741 --> 00:47:25,043 Let's start out slow. 689 00:47:26,511 --> 00:47:30,015 Thou shall not take the name of the lord thy God in vein. 690 00:47:34,019 --> 00:47:39,024 Jesus fucking Christ goddamn it Mary Joseph cock-gobbling dicks! 691 00:47:49,034 --> 00:47:51,970 Honor thy father and thy mother. 692 00:47:59,010 --> 00:48:00,045 Boner-time. 693 00:48:00,778 --> 00:48:02,013 Hey Doctor, It's Ron. 694 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:02,981 Ron. 695 00:48:04,182 --> 00:48:04,950 Hey can you hold up the phone to my mom? 696 00:48:05,483 --> 00:48:05,951 Yeah, Ron. 697 00:48:06,351 --> 00:48:06,952 Thanks. 698 00:48:07,618 --> 00:48:08,954 Hey mom. It's Ron. 699 00:48:09,955 --> 00:48:10,989 Fuck you! and you know what? 700 00:48:12,323 --> 00:48:13,992 I don't know who dad was, but fuck him too. 701 00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:15,961 He was probably a dick. 702 00:48:20,065 --> 00:48:23,068 Holy shit. What a good start! 703 00:48:49,995 --> 00:48:51,997 If you wanna win the fight, 704 00:48:53,198 --> 00:48:56,001 sometimes you gotta do things you don't like. 705 00:48:56,734 --> 00:48:59,004 There's no easy way out. 706 00:49:01,006 --> 00:49:03,174 You can't have your doubts, 707 00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:06,011 'cause only the strong survive. 708 00:49:07,378 --> 00:49:11,049 You gotta sell your soul if you wanna get out alive. 709 00:49:12,017 --> 00:49:13,018 You gotta be the best. 710 00:49:13,751 --> 00:49:14,152 You gotta be better... 711 00:49:15,020 --> 00:49:16,054 better than the rest 712 00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:17,088 to win the fight. 713 00:49:18,256 --> 00:49:20,125 You gotta be a little better than that to win 714 00:49:21,026 --> 00:49:22,027 to win the fight 715 00:49:22,727 --> 00:49:25,030 to win the fight! 716 00:49:25,696 --> 00:49:27,065 Do it for boobies! 717 00:49:28,033 --> 00:49:30,135 Boo- boobies! 718 00:49:31,036 --> 00:49:32,103 Boo- boobies! 719 00:49:32,570 --> 00:49:34,039 Boobies! 720 00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:36,041 Boobies! 721 00:49:36,774 --> 00:49:38,076 Do it for boobies! 722 00:49:39,077 --> 00:49:42,047 Boo- boobies! 723 00:49:42,580 --> 00:49:44,049 Boo- boobies! 724 00:49:44,449 --> 00:49:45,083 Boobies! 725 00:49:45,550 --> 00:49:47,185 Boobies! 726 00:49:49,054 --> 00:49:51,056 Take no prisoners. 727 00:49:51,922 --> 00:49:54,059 You gotta have a burning desire! 728 00:49:55,226 --> 00:49:58,063 You gotta beat them at their own game. 729 00:50:00,098 --> 00:50:03,000 You gotta be a believer. 730 00:50:03,734 --> 00:50:04,169 Show them what you got. 731 00:50:05,370 --> 00:50:10,007 No pain, no gain, never back down. No surrender. 732 00:50:11,076 --> 00:50:12,143 You gotta be the best. 733 00:50:12,877 --> 00:50:14,045 You gotta be better... 734 00:50:14,779 --> 00:50:15,180 better than the rest 735 00:50:15,913 --> 00:50:16,214 to win the fight. 736 00:50:17,382 --> 00:50:19,217 You gotta be a little better than that to win 737 00:50:20,051 --> 00:50:21,119 to win the fight 738 00:50:21,852 --> 00:50:24,089 to win the fight! 739 00:50:24,822 --> 00:50:26,157 Do it for boobies! 740 00:50:27,092 --> 00:50:30,027 Boo- boobies! 741 00:50:30,628 --> 00:50:32,029 Boo- boobies! 742 00:50:32,497 --> 00:50:33,131 Boobies! 743 00:50:33,598 --> 00:50:36,167 Boobies! 744 00:50:36,901 --> 00:50:38,035 You gotta be the best. 745 00:50:38,769 --> 00:50:39,137 You gotta be better... 746 00:50:39,904 --> 00:50:41,038 better than the rest 747 00:50:41,806 --> 00:50:42,073 to win the fight. 748 00:50:43,274 --> 00:50:45,110 You gotta be a little better than that to win 749 00:50:45,743 --> 00:50:46,211 to win the fight 750 00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:49,247 to win the fight! 751 00:50:50,047 --> 00:50:52,049 Do it for boobies! 752 00:50:52,817 --> 00:50:54,152 Thou shall not kill. 753 00:50:54,919 --> 00:50:56,053 Oh, I can't do that. 754 00:50:56,821 --> 00:50:57,188 and commit adultery? 755 00:50:58,356 --> 00:50:59,257 I can't even get my wife to fuck me. 756 00:51:03,261 --> 00:51:05,263 They're gonna kill my mom in two hours. 757 00:51:06,131 --> 00:51:08,166 Everything is so convoluted! 758 00:51:10,201 --> 00:51:12,137 I don't even know what to do. 759 00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:16,207 I don't even know what to hope to do. 760 00:51:18,143 --> 00:51:22,180 What is the color of my hope tonight? 761 00:51:24,149 --> 00:51:28,286 What is the color of my hope tonight? 762 00:51:31,156 --> 00:51:35,160 I just couldn't do it. 763 00:51:37,162 --> 00:51:41,166 I just couldn't kill yet. 764 00:51:42,333 --> 00:51:46,237 What is the color of my hope tonight? 765 00:51:48,173 --> 00:51:53,178 What is the color of my hope tonight? 766 00:51:55,180 --> 00:51:58,249 I just couldn't do it. 767 00:52:01,186 --> 00:52:06,191 I just couldn't kill yet. 768 00:52:07,325 --> 00:52:12,197 I just wanted the great fleshlight! 769 00:52:13,198 --> 00:52:18,203 So I could save the universe! 770 00:52:19,370 --> 00:52:24,209 I just wanted the great fleshlight! 771 00:52:25,210 --> 00:52:30,215 So I could save the universe! 772 00:52:31,349 --> 00:52:34,285 What is the color of my hope tonight? 773 00:52:37,355 --> 00:52:39,257 Ron! 774 00:52:39,724 --> 00:52:40,358 Hello? 775 00:52:41,226 --> 00:52:42,227 Ron, I need you. 776 00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:43,328 Please save me. 777 00:52:43,928 --> 00:52:44,362 Who are you? 778 00:52:45,230 --> 00:52:46,364 I'm Hope. I'm lost. 779 00:52:47,232 --> 00:52:48,333 Please find me. Save me. 780 00:52:49,234 --> 00:52:50,235 What? How? Where are you? 781 00:52:51,636 --> 00:52:53,338 Ron, do something. Dr. Beau Nerjoose has captured me. 782 00:52:54,539 --> 00:52:55,373 Although life ain't all about ass and titties, 783 00:52:56,574 --> 00:52:57,375 ass and titties are a big part of it. 784 00:52:58,276 --> 00:53:00,245 Please find my ass and titties 785 00:53:00,945 --> 00:53:02,247 for the universe. 786 00:53:07,385 --> 00:53:09,254 No! 787 00:53:21,332 --> 00:53:23,268 I can do it! 788 00:53:27,372 --> 00:53:30,275 How will I find the elusive Beau Nerjoose? 789 00:53:31,008 --> 00:53:33,411 I know. The phonebook. 790 00:53:41,286 --> 00:53:43,354 I need a fucking taxi. 791 00:53:43,954 --> 00:53:45,290 Ron's house. 792 00:53:47,325 --> 00:53:49,294 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 793 00:53:50,461 --> 00:53:51,296 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 794 00:53:52,463 --> 00:53:53,298 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 795 00:53:54,465 --> 00:53:55,366 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 796 00:53:56,534 --> 00:53:59,370 I'm gonna find you if it takes all day. 797 00:54:00,538 --> 00:54:03,374 And nothing's gonna fuckin' stand in my way. 798 00:54:04,542 --> 00:54:05,310 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 799 00:54:06,477 --> 00:54:07,345 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 800 00:54:08,513 --> 00:54:09,314 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 801 00:54:10,481 --> 00:54:11,449 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 802 00:54:12,617 --> 00:54:15,453 Beau Nerjoose, you made me drive so far south. 803 00:54:16,621 --> 00:54:19,357 Beau Nerjoose, I can taste you in my mouth. 804 00:54:20,525 --> 00:54:21,326 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 805 00:54:22,493 --> 00:54:23,328 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 806 00:54:24,495 --> 00:54:25,363 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 807 00:54:26,531 --> 00:54:27,465 Hot on the trail of Beau Nerjoose. 808 00:54:29,334 --> 00:54:29,434 Keep the change. 809 00:54:30,335 --> 00:54:30,435 Thank you. 810 00:54:31,436 --> 00:54:33,338 No. 811 00:54:34,038 --> 00:54:35,373 I don't kiss my clients. 812 00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:37,375 It's one of my rules. 813 00:54:38,509 --> 00:54:40,345 It's one of my taxi-driver-rules. 814 00:54:40,878 --> 00:54:41,379 I understand. 815 00:54:43,381 --> 00:54:44,382 Have a good night. 816 00:55:21,386 --> 00:55:23,421 Time to shit or get off the pot. 817 00:55:33,431 --> 00:55:34,532 A pass code. 818 00:55:37,535 --> 00:55:40,471 One, two, three, four, five. 819 00:55:42,540 --> 00:55:45,510 Sixty-nine, sixty-nine. 820 00:55:46,511 --> 00:55:48,446 C'mon Ron, think! 821 00:55:50,448 --> 00:55:53,551 The secret to life is to smoke pot every day. 822 00:55:54,752 --> 00:55:58,523 Twenty-four seven, three sixty-five. 823 00:55:59,424 --> 00:56:00,525 It'll get you into places. 824 00:56:03,461 --> 00:56:06,431 Four-twenty, 825 00:56:07,097 --> 00:56:09,434 twenty-four seven, 826 00:56:10,167 --> 00:56:11,469 three sixty-five! 827 00:56:29,454 --> 00:56:30,521 For the last time, Hope 828 00:56:30,988 --> 00:56:31,456 Hope. 829 00:56:32,289 --> 00:56:34,525 Where is the great fleshlight? 830 00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:36,561 For the last time Dr. Beau Nerjoose, 831 00:56:37,161 --> 00:56:38,463 I don't know. 832 00:56:38,996 --> 00:56:39,530 Beau Nerjoose. 833 00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:40,598 Fine! 834 00:56:42,032 --> 00:56:44,502 If you won't tell me where the great fleshlight is, 835 00:56:45,369 --> 00:56:48,573 then I will have to destroy you. 836 00:56:51,476 --> 00:56:53,478 No you don't, Beau Nerjoose! 837 00:57:02,487 --> 00:57:03,621 How did you get in here? 838 00:57:04,789 --> 00:57:06,557 That's for me to know and you to find out. 839 00:57:07,658 --> 00:57:09,627 Yeah. I know. That's why I asked. 840 00:57:10,495 --> 00:57:12,497 I never understood that phrase. 841 00:57:13,297 --> 00:57:13,564 What's with the candy bar? 842 00:57:14,298 --> 00:57:16,567 Who the fuck are you? 843 00:57:17,502 --> 00:57:18,636 I'm your worst nightmare. 844 00:57:20,638 --> 00:57:24,509 You mean, you mean the one where I'm jacking off in my car at the drive-in 845 00:57:25,576 --> 00:57:27,512 and I start shitting all over myself, 846 00:57:28,779 --> 00:57:30,515 and the shit keeps getting higher and higher, 847 00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:33,551 and I have to eat the shit to keep my head above it, 848 00:57:34,985 --> 00:57:36,521 but there's just so much shit that I start choking 849 00:57:37,688 --> 00:57:38,656 on the shit, just when I'm jizzing! 850 00:57:39,524 --> 00:57:40,658 That's who you are? 851 00:57:41,526 --> 00:57:42,660 No, I'm Ron. 852 00:57:43,528 --> 00:57:44,562 Ron Wartyhymen. 853 00:57:45,162 --> 00:57:46,531 Wartyhymen? 854 00:57:47,331 --> 00:57:48,533 That name rings my balls. 855 00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:49,534 Oh I know. 856 00:57:51,168 --> 00:57:54,572 I used to have sex with a woman named Wartyhymen many many many times. 857 00:57:56,607 --> 00:57:58,609 You're fucking dead, Beau Nerjoose. 858 00:57:59,544 --> 00:58:01,679 Dead? Right. Gentlemen. 859 00:58:02,547 --> 00:58:03,648 Yes sir. Right away, sir. 860 00:58:26,604 --> 00:58:27,672 How long was I out? 861 00:58:28,405 --> 00:58:29,640 Just a few minutes. 862 00:58:31,576 --> 00:58:33,578 Oh Ron, I'm so glad you're here. I was hoping you'd come and save me. 863 00:58:37,715 --> 00:58:41,619 I don't think I'm gonna be able to save you. We're pretty much fucked. 864 00:58:42,987 --> 00:58:45,656 No, Ron. Now that you're here, we're not fucked at all. 865 00:58:47,658 --> 00:58:49,694 For you're the chosen one. You're gonna deliver the light into the darkness. 866 00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:52,597 I don't think so. 867 00:58:53,998 --> 00:58:55,633 Didn't you see me just try and fight that guy with a candy bar? 868 00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:58,636 Yeah. It was cute. 869 00:58:59,737 --> 00:59:02,607 Really? You thought that was cute? 870 00:59:03,007 --> 00:59:03,140 Yeah. 871 00:59:05,175 --> 00:59:09,614 Sister Fuckface always said the chosen ones use the least chosen methods. 872 00:59:11,015 --> 00:59:13,684 Sister Fuckface. I met her and the other space nuns. 873 00:59:14,885 --> 00:59:16,754 They said that Dr. Beau Nerjoose kidnapped you. 874 00:59:17,622 --> 00:59:18,656 How long have you been here? 875 00:59:19,857 --> 00:59:21,759 A week. I think, but it feels like an eternity. 876 00:59:23,193 --> 00:59:24,729 Dr. Beau Nerjoose is looking for the great fleshlight. 877 00:59:25,630 --> 00:59:26,697 I know. 878 00:59:28,132 --> 00:59:29,667 I too have been looking for the great fleshlight. 879 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:31,702 Do you know where it is? 880 00:59:32,169 --> 00:59:33,638 No. 881 00:59:34,438 --> 00:59:35,740 I'm afraid all is lost hope. 882 00:59:37,174 --> 00:59:38,643 I tried to find the great fleshlight. I really tried. 883 00:59:39,777 --> 00:59:40,645 It's as if it's right there in front on me. 884 00:59:41,779 --> 00:59:43,648 I just can't reach out and grab it. 885 00:59:47,652 --> 00:59:48,786 Fuck it. I'm giving up. 886 00:59:50,220 --> 00:59:54,659 Ron. Listen to me. You can't give up. You can do this. 887 00:59:55,826 --> 00:59:59,664 No I can't. I totally failed. I'm a failure. 888 01:00:01,065 --> 01:00:01,766 Without failure, we'd never know what it is to succeed. 889 01:00:02,833 --> 01:00:04,635 The only real failure is to give up. 890 01:00:06,070 --> 01:00:08,806 Did Jesus give up when he was on the cross, dying for our sins? 891 01:00:10,808 --> 01:00:13,644 Yeah, kinda. 892 01:00:14,511 --> 01:00:17,815 Oh. Ok, that was a bad example. 893 01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:19,684 Yeah. 894 01:00:21,686 --> 01:00:25,622 Did the kids from Footloose give up when their parents told them they couldn't dance anymore? 895 01:00:26,090 --> 01:00:26,691 No. 896 01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:28,659 No, fuck no! 897 01:00:29,827 --> 01:00:30,761 They danced their goddamn hearts out. 898 01:00:31,929 --> 01:00:32,763 Yeah they did. And they didn't give up. 899 01:00:33,497 --> 01:00:34,765 And neither should you. 900 01:00:35,365 --> 01:00:35,833 You're right. 901 01:00:37,034 --> 01:00:39,670 But in order to make the great fleshlight appear, 902 01:00:41,271 --> 01:00:43,741 I have to break a couple more commandments, and they're tough ones. 903 01:00:44,641 --> 01:00:45,642 I won't be able to do it alone. 904 01:00:46,410 --> 01:00:46,811 Well, can I help? 905 01:00:48,012 --> 01:00:49,780 I mean, the universe is at stake, Ron. 906 01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:51,816 Well... 907 01:00:54,785 --> 01:00:56,754 I have to commit adultery. 908 01:00:57,387 --> 01:00:57,855 You're married? 909 01:01:00,457 --> 01:01:03,728 Technically, but now she's banging some guy with a belly button ring, so I'm pretty sure it's over. 910 01:01:04,795 --> 01:01:05,863 Oh. 911 01:01:06,731 --> 01:01:07,765 I'm sorry. 912 01:01:08,498 --> 01:01:09,734 No. It's ok. She sucks. 913 01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:14,772 But I'm a nun. I can't have sex. 914 01:01:15,639 --> 01:01:15,873 I mean, I'm a bride of christ. 915 01:01:17,274 --> 01:01:19,744 That's not just committing adultery. That's committing... 916 01:01:20,277 --> 01:01:20,811 devine adultery. 917 01:01:26,817 --> 01:01:28,753 Yeah. No, I understand. 918 01:01:30,755 --> 01:01:31,822 That's too bad. 919 01:01:32,757 --> 01:01:34,759 Yeah, I guess it's too bad. 920 01:01:36,761 --> 01:01:38,763 Too bad for the universe. 921 01:01:39,930 --> 01:01:42,767 Well I mean, if it's for the universe... 922 01:01:43,934 --> 01:01:45,803 I guess I could do it just this once. 923 01:01:46,403 --> 01:01:47,772 Just this once? 924 01:01:48,538 --> 01:01:49,774 For the universe. 925 01:01:52,810 --> 01:01:54,845 Gotta give it up. 926 01:01:56,881 --> 01:02:00,818 Just this once 927 01:02:02,787 --> 01:02:07,792 to save the universe. 928 01:02:09,927 --> 01:02:12,897 I'm a slutty, space nun. 929 01:02:14,832 --> 01:02:17,802 Yeah, I'm a harlot. 930 01:02:19,804 --> 01:02:23,808 I'm a dick-smoking skank that feeds on cock 931 01:02:24,541 --> 01:02:26,944 to mother fucking live. 932 01:02:27,812 --> 01:02:30,815 So put it in my frum frum. 933 01:02:31,816 --> 01:02:34,885 then stuff it in my bum bum. 934 01:02:36,887 --> 01:02:40,925 And I will lick your butt and stuff, 935 01:02:41,826 --> 01:02:45,830 and it's gonna be awesome. 936 01:02:46,363 --> 01:02:47,832 Dirty sanchez. 937 01:02:48,398 --> 01:02:51,936 Un tiempo 938 01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:56,974 para universo. 939 01:02:58,142 --> 01:03:01,879 One time for the universe. One time. 940 01:03:02,847 --> 01:03:04,949 One time for the universe. 941 01:03:05,850 --> 01:03:09,854 Un tiempo 942 01:03:10,387 --> 01:03:14,859 para universo. 943 01:03:15,993 --> 01:03:18,996 One time for the universe. One time. 944 01:03:19,864 --> 01:03:22,867 One time for the universe. 945 01:03:23,433 --> 01:03:26,937 Un tiempo 946 01:03:27,537 --> 01:03:31,976 para universo. 947 01:03:33,110 --> 01:03:36,914 One time for the universe. One time. 948 01:03:37,781 --> 01:03:39,984 One time for the universe. 949 01:03:40,584 --> 01:03:44,021 Un tiempo 950 01:03:44,889 --> 01:03:49,894 para universo. 951 01:03:50,995 --> 01:03:54,031 One time for the universe. One time. 952 01:03:54,899 --> 01:03:57,902 One time for the universe. 953 01:03:58,435 --> 01:04:01,972 Un tiempo. 954 01:04:04,074 --> 01:04:06,911 What's going on in here? 955 01:04:07,577 --> 01:04:09,914 A little hanky panky? 956 01:04:10,714 --> 01:04:12,016 How monastic of you, Hope! 957 01:04:12,482 --> 01:04:13,918 Here. 958 01:04:14,919 --> 01:04:16,020 Clean yourself up. 959 01:04:18,989 --> 01:04:22,026 Well I trust you enjoyed yourself, Ron. 960 01:04:22,626 --> 01:04:24,061 I wouldn't know. 961 01:04:25,262 --> 01:04:27,031 I haven't had sex in over 20 years. 962 01:04:28,498 --> 01:04:30,968 And it's all because of that whore-witch mother of yours! 963 01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:33,003 You shut the fuck up. 964 01:04:34,004 --> 01:04:35,940 My mother was a whore, 965 01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:37,942 but she's not a witch. 966 01:04:38,475 --> 01:04:38,976 I don't think. 967 01:04:39,944 --> 01:04:40,945 What did you do to her? 968 01:04:41,611 --> 01:04:41,946 What did I do to her? 969 01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:44,081 More like, what did she do to me? 970 01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:48,085 Just because I got a little rough with her... 971 01:04:48,953 --> 01:04:50,955 Once... 972 01:04:51,355 --> 01:04:51,956 Once. 973 01:04:53,958 --> 01:04:56,060 Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha. 974 01:04:56,526 --> 01:04:58,095 Groovy. 975 01:04:58,963 --> 01:05:00,097 I'm ready to get some ass on. 976 01:05:00,965 --> 01:05:01,999 Sorry Beau. 977 01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,001 I'm outta commish. 978 01:05:05,169 --> 01:05:06,971 I've got a raging yeast infection. 979 01:05:07,637 --> 01:05:08,038 Fuck that, Agnes. 980 01:05:09,439 --> 01:05:12,109 You know I don't give a shit about some yeasty puss. 981 01:05:12,977 --> 01:05:14,011 How 'bout I give you a poke, 982 01:05:15,379 --> 01:05:17,982 and then you can chow down on my pig in a blanket? 983 01:05:18,515 --> 01:05:19,049 Fuck off, Beau! 984 01:05:19,783 --> 01:05:21,018 I'm not working today. 985 01:05:21,751 --> 01:05:22,019 Come back tomorrow. 986 01:05:23,620 --> 01:05:27,057 Oh, Agnes. It's so cute that you think you have a say in the matter. 987 01:05:27,992 --> 01:05:28,993 Now give me some. 988 01:05:30,127 --> 01:05:32,997 No Beau! Get your boner away from me! 989 01:05:33,730 --> 01:05:37,001 And then, we made love. 990 01:05:37,901 --> 01:05:39,003 No you didn't. You raped her. 991 01:05:40,004 --> 01:05:41,105 Tomato, potato. 992 01:05:42,272 --> 01:05:45,009 Get the fuck out of my room, you bastard! 993 01:05:46,110 --> 01:05:49,013 Come on, Agnes! It's not gonna suck itself. 994 01:05:50,047 --> 01:05:52,049 It will from now on. 995 01:05:59,089 --> 01:06:00,124 From now on, 996 01:06:01,158 --> 01:06:03,060 your dick will constantly suck itself! 997 01:06:04,028 --> 01:06:06,030 You're never gonna rape again! 998 01:06:15,039 --> 01:06:16,140 Oh, I know what you're thinking, Ron. 999 01:06:16,873 --> 01:06:19,043 Ooo, that's pretty cool! 1000 01:06:20,144 --> 01:06:21,045 Having a dick that can suck itself. 1001 01:06:21,578 --> 01:06:23,047 Well, it is... 1002 01:06:27,051 --> 01:06:28,152 for a while. 1003 01:06:30,054 --> 01:06:33,190 I was standing in your mothers whore-den for ten hours before I realized this... 1004 01:06:35,125 --> 01:06:38,062 was a curse. 1005 01:06:40,164 --> 01:06:43,200 I'm never gonna come again! 1006 01:06:44,601 --> 01:06:48,072 It turns out my dick's pretty terrible at sucking dick. 1007 01:06:49,239 --> 01:06:51,075 So I took my revenge upon your mother. 1008 01:06:52,176 --> 01:06:54,178 I stole the great dildo from her butthole 1009 01:06:54,911 --> 01:06:56,180 and along with it, 1010 01:06:56,780 --> 01:06:59,183 her sanity. 1011 01:06:59,649 --> 01:07:01,218 Oh. 1012 01:07:02,086 --> 01:07:03,120 Now I get it. 1013 01:07:04,554 --> 01:07:08,158 And my dick has been sucking itself ever since! 1014 01:07:09,093 --> 01:07:12,096 Oh my God. That's disgusting! 1015 01:07:13,263 --> 01:07:16,233 It looks like it's trying to uncirucumsize itself. 1016 01:07:19,136 --> 01:07:21,105 Is that hair? 1017 01:07:23,107 --> 01:07:24,141 It is awful. 1018 01:07:25,309 --> 01:07:28,112 But I thought once I stole the great dildo, 1019 01:07:28,912 --> 01:07:29,113 the curse would be broken, 1020 01:07:30,514 --> 01:07:32,249 but alas I needed the great fleshlight as well. 1021 01:07:33,117 --> 01:07:36,120 Once I put my penis inside it, 1022 01:07:36,986 --> 01:07:39,123 the curse will be broken! 1023 01:07:40,690 --> 01:07:43,127 I know exactly what needs to be done to get the great fleshlight, 1024 01:07:44,228 --> 01:07:46,230 and I've brought Ron here to do just that. 1025 01:07:48,031 --> 01:07:52,136 You see, I've been measuring the seismic shifts for the last 24 hours. 1026 01:07:54,003 --> 01:07:57,174 I know that Ron has one let commandment to break before the great fleshlight appears... 1027 01:07:58,208 --> 01:07:59,276 Murder. 1028 01:08:06,183 --> 01:08:08,185 Such a pity. 1029 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:10,220 Oh, this is shitty. 1030 01:08:13,157 --> 01:08:14,158 Halt. 1031 01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:17,194 Ron, 1032 01:08:18,162 --> 01:08:19,196 Are you familiar with the phrase, 1033 01:08:20,330 --> 01:08:23,300 "Shit in one hand, hope in the other, and 1034 01:08:24,168 --> 01:08:26,170 see which one fills up faster?" 1035 01:08:27,237 --> 01:08:29,173 I don't think so. 1036 01:08:30,340 --> 01:08:34,244 After tonight, you will never, ever forget it. 1037 01:08:35,312 --> 01:08:38,182 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 1038 01:08:38,848 --> 01:08:43,187 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 1039 01:08:46,190 --> 01:08:49,193 Lock him into position! 1040 01:08:55,332 --> 01:08:58,268 Now, as you may have gathered, Ron, 1041 01:08:59,203 --> 01:09:03,307 This contraption acts as a scale. 1042 01:09:07,311 --> 01:09:10,214 Lock Hope into position! 1043 01:09:12,282 --> 01:09:17,221 As you can see, Ron, this thingamabob which I have called, 1044 01:09:18,087 --> 01:09:20,257 "The scales of Joostice!" 1045 01:09:20,857 --> 01:09:22,226 or "Whack-a-ho." 1046 01:09:23,327 --> 01:09:24,228 I'm going back and forth. I can't decide. 1047 01:09:25,094 --> 01:09:27,231 It will allow you to murder. 1048 01:09:28,031 --> 01:09:31,235 In one hand, you will have hope. 1049 01:09:31,968 --> 01:09:34,371 In the other... Shit! 1050 01:09:35,539 --> 01:09:37,374 Shit. Shit. We need more shit. More shit! 1051 01:09:39,343 --> 01:09:42,312 Ha, ha, ha! 1052 01:09:43,280 --> 01:09:45,282 Oh, and Hope, 1053 01:09:47,251 --> 01:09:50,287 if you look up you'll see a Hunter-Douglas brand high-speed, oscillating fan 1054 01:09:51,421 --> 01:09:53,257 made of solid, razor-sharp steel. 1055 01:09:55,325 --> 01:09:57,261 Ron could save you, 1056 01:09:57,861 --> 01:09:58,395 hypothetically, 1057 01:10:00,397 --> 01:10:04,200 but instead I think he will murder you... 1058 01:10:04,801 --> 01:10:05,235 to death... 1059 01:10:07,304 --> 01:10:08,204 forever! 1060 01:10:10,374 --> 01:10:11,308 No! 1061 01:10:12,041 --> 01:10:13,277 No. No. wait. Hold on. 1062 01:10:14,010 --> 01:10:14,411 How is this Ron's fault? 1063 01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:16,212 This isn't murder. 1064 01:10:17,080 --> 01:10:17,281 Oh really? Is that what you? 1065 01:10:18,448 --> 01:10:19,383 Well, either way, you'll be dead. 1066 01:10:20,517 --> 01:10:24,220 So fuck off and die, Hope. Forever. 1067 01:10:24,954 --> 01:10:26,323 Ron, you can do it. 1068 01:10:27,056 --> 01:10:28,292 It's ok if you kill me, 1069 01:10:29,459 --> 01:10:31,261 but I have to tell you something first. 1070 01:10:31,861 --> 01:10:32,296 What is it? 1071 01:10:32,896 --> 01:10:35,265 I have HPV. 1072 01:10:36,700 --> 01:10:40,304 Everybody has HPV. Seriously. Everybody. But I don't care. 1073 01:10:42,272 --> 01:10:45,375 I've loved you since yesterday when I saw your tits for the first time. 1074 01:10:53,283 --> 01:10:54,451 If you're struggling now, 1075 01:10:55,685 --> 01:10:59,356 just wait till the shit hits the fan. 1076 01:11:02,459 --> 01:11:05,329 There's something else I have to tell you. 1077 01:11:05,862 --> 01:11:06,363 What is it? 1078 01:11:07,831 --> 01:11:09,399 Well, it's really not a big deal, but when I was a kid, 1079 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,336 I found this litter of puppies and they were really cute. 1080 01:11:13,403 --> 01:11:13,537 They had been abandoned by their mother, 1081 01:11:15,004 --> 01:11:18,475 and they were just this really adorable, little balls of fur. 1082 01:11:20,477 --> 01:11:25,482 I put them in a box with cotton balls and soaked them with gasoline 1083 01:11:26,683 --> 01:11:29,419 and lit 'em on fire and put them out on a lake, 1084 01:11:30,554 --> 01:11:33,357 and it was like a viking funeral for puppies. 1085 01:11:34,391 --> 01:11:36,493 That's not... That's not that bad. 1086 01:11:38,362 --> 01:11:40,497 More shit! We need more shit, you shit heads! 1087 01:11:41,365 --> 01:11:42,399 Sir, we're almost out of shit. 1088 01:11:42,999 --> 01:11:45,402 Well, make more. 1089 01:11:46,269 --> 01:11:47,371 Yes sir. Right away, sir. 1090 01:11:48,505 --> 01:11:52,376 Ron, is there anything you want to tell me? 1091 01:11:52,809 --> 01:11:55,379 Uh... 1092 01:11:55,812 --> 01:11:56,380 Nope. 1093 01:12:06,390 --> 01:12:06,523 Yes. 1094 01:12:13,397 --> 01:12:15,399 No! 1095 01:12:29,413 --> 01:12:33,417 Nuns, what are you doing here? You're ruining everything! 1096 01:12:34,518 --> 01:12:37,421 I'm about to eat your dick, Beau Nerjoose! 1097 01:12:38,422 --> 01:12:39,456 Henchmen! 1098 01:12:40,056 --> 01:12:43,493 Get them! 1099 01:12:49,433 --> 01:12:50,534 Oh shit! 1100 01:13:04,481 --> 01:13:05,482 Ron, listen to me. 1101 01:13:06,916 --> 01:13:08,452 You must find his weakness and use it against him. 1102 01:13:09,152 --> 01:13:10,520 Everyone has a weakness. 1103 01:13:15,459 --> 01:13:16,460 No, No! 1104 01:13:17,561 --> 01:13:19,463 Yeah, you're ticklish aren't you? 1105 01:13:20,630 --> 01:13:21,498 You're tickling him far too much! 1106 01:13:29,506 --> 01:13:31,475 Don't get your boogers on it. 1107 01:13:58,502 --> 01:14:00,504 Oh yeah! 1108 01:14:08,545 --> 01:14:10,547 I knew he could do it. 1109 01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:11,648 I can't believe it. 1110 01:14:12,516 --> 01:14:15,519 Now it will appear. 1111 01:14:16,419 --> 01:14:17,521 Where is it? Where is it? 1112 01:14:19,556 --> 01:14:21,525 Ron! Look. 1113 01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:23,527 There it is. 1114 01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,536 It's beautiful. 1115 01:14:33,903 --> 01:14:37,607 Give it to me you little shit. The curse must be lifted. 1116 01:14:38,341 --> 01:14:39,676 Fuck you, Beau Nerjoose. 1117 01:14:40,544 --> 01:14:42,546 I must have the fleshlight. 1118 01:14:43,212 --> 01:14:44,548 I need the dildo. 1119 01:14:44,948 --> 01:14:45,682 Well... 1120 01:14:46,816 --> 01:14:48,585 Then you see our delimma, don't you? 1121 01:14:52,556 --> 01:14:54,558 We must fight. 1122 01:14:54,958 --> 01:14:55,592 Oh shit. 1123 01:14:57,594 --> 01:15:02,566 You can do it, Ron. I believe in you. 1124 01:15:03,366 --> 01:15:05,635 I've got to. To save mom. 1125 01:15:06,369 --> 01:15:07,604 To save the universe. 1126 01:15:37,601 --> 01:15:39,603 Oh fucking shit-dicks! 1127 01:15:40,737 --> 01:15:44,608 And now, the power of the universe is mine! 1128 01:15:45,742 --> 01:15:48,612 Ah, yes! 1129 01:15:50,046 --> 01:15:53,617 Ron, you mustn't let him jam the great dildo up his butt. 1130 01:16:08,632 --> 01:16:10,667 He cut his teeth off. 1131 01:16:14,638 --> 01:16:15,639 Get out of here! 1132 01:16:16,505 --> 01:16:17,674 I'm coming right behind you! 1133 01:16:22,779 --> 01:16:23,747 You good? 1134 01:16:28,652 --> 01:16:29,653 Yeah, I'm good. 1135 01:16:30,787 --> 01:16:31,655 No! 1136 01:16:32,121 --> 01:16:32,656 No! 1137 01:16:33,690 --> 01:16:35,659 Not the dildo! 1138 01:16:38,762 --> 01:16:40,797 No! 1139 01:16:44,801 --> 01:16:49,806 Holy shit! It's crumbling before our very eyes! 1140 01:16:50,707 --> 01:16:51,808 I can't believe it! 1141 01:16:53,342 --> 01:16:56,746 It would be so expensive to recreate this in a cinematic medium. 1142 01:16:58,214 --> 01:17:01,685 I can't believe I left it in there. I've got to go back. 1143 01:17:02,385 --> 01:17:02,686 I've come all this way. 1144 01:17:03,419 --> 01:17:04,721 No Ron. Don't do that. 1145 01:17:05,588 --> 01:17:06,790 You have the great dildo now. 1146 01:17:07,691 --> 01:17:09,793 You can save your whore-mother. 1147 01:17:11,761 --> 01:17:12,729 You're right, Hope. 1148 01:17:15,732 --> 01:17:17,701 Oh, it's my friend, Zach. 1149 01:17:18,301 --> 01:17:18,768 Come on, ladies. 1150 01:17:27,711 --> 01:17:29,746 Hey buddy. 1151 01:17:30,714 --> 01:17:31,781 Who are you new friends? 1152 01:17:32,381 --> 01:17:32,816 Shut up, Zach. 1153 01:17:34,718 --> 01:17:35,752 No time to explain. 1154 01:17:37,353 --> 01:17:39,723 We've got to get to the Don't Stop Bereaving Funeral Home Karoke Bar. 1155 01:17:40,890 --> 01:17:42,759 Alright. Hold on to your tits, ladies. 1156 01:17:45,729 --> 01:17:46,830 So what was Beau Nerjoose doing back there? 1157 01:17:48,264 --> 01:17:48,865 It looks like he shoving his penis in the great fleshlight 1158 01:17:50,333 --> 01:17:51,801 and he was gonna shove this great dildo up his butthole. 1159 01:17:53,136 --> 01:17:55,739 Oh Ron, the great fleshlight and the great dildo 1160 01:17:57,073 --> 01:17:58,742 must be combined together to bring world peace, 1161 01:17:59,408 --> 01:17:59,743 but not that way. 1162 01:18:00,810 --> 01:18:01,745 Beau Nerjoose knows that if he reunites them 1163 01:18:02,746 --> 01:18:03,847 on his penis and up his butthole, 1164 01:18:05,081 --> 01:18:06,750 then he can use his taint as a conduit 1165 01:18:07,817 --> 01:18:09,886 to gain ultimate power over the universe. 1166 01:18:12,856 --> 01:18:13,890 Seriously? 1167 01:18:15,091 --> 01:18:17,761 Yes, and Ron, we can not let that happen. 1168 01:18:18,895 --> 01:18:19,829 The great dildo and the great fleshlight 1169 01:18:20,764 --> 01:18:21,898 have to be combined directly. 1170 01:18:23,066 --> 01:18:24,801 Whoa. What are you guys talking about? 1171 01:18:26,235 --> 01:18:28,905 Shut the fuck up Zach. I told you. There's no time to explain. 1172 01:18:29,773 --> 01:18:30,807 Here it is. Pull over. 1173 01:18:43,920 --> 01:18:48,925 Alright, buddy. Just give me a call later or something. 1174 01:18:51,828 --> 01:18:55,799 You ever hit me with a dildo again, I'll kill you. 1175 01:19:00,804 --> 01:19:03,940 On the end of my dick was your butt baby brother. 1176 01:19:04,808 --> 01:19:06,810 Aborted butt bro. 1177 01:19:07,911 --> 01:19:10,880 He'd been removed from the ass of your mother. 1178 01:19:11,480 --> 01:19:12,916 Where did he go? 1179 01:19:14,818 --> 01:19:17,821 I shot my wad in such a way. 1180 01:19:18,387 --> 01:19:19,823 In such a way. 1181 01:19:20,990 --> 01:19:23,960 That your brother flew covered in my 1182 01:19:24,828 --> 01:19:26,930 Mother-fucking jizz-spray. 1183 01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:30,867 I'm so glad that Agnes wanted her funeral here. 1184 01:19:32,035 --> 01:19:33,870 She always did love to party, didn't she? 1185 01:19:40,910 --> 01:19:41,911 Alright! 1186 01:19:42,846 --> 01:19:43,980 Let's get this party started! 1187 01:19:44,848 --> 01:19:46,850 By the power invested in me, 1188 01:19:48,017 --> 01:19:49,853 I hereby euthanize Agnes Wartyhymen 1189 01:19:50,686 --> 01:19:51,988 as requested in her last wishes. 1190 01:19:53,890 --> 01:19:55,859 Now normally, this would be done by a painless injection, but we rain out. 1191 01:19:56,425 --> 01:19:56,860 So instead... 1192 01:19:57,726 --> 01:19:58,895 We'll be using this brick. 1193 01:20:03,867 --> 01:20:05,902 She'll never know the difference. 1194 01:20:06,635 --> 01:20:08,804 She's in a coma, people. 1195 01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:41,905 My butthole! 1196 01:20:42,906 --> 01:20:44,007 My sanity. 1197 01:20:44,640 --> 01:20:45,841 It's returned. 1198 01:20:46,475 --> 01:20:47,843 What happened? 1199 01:20:49,045 --> 01:20:51,047 Oh my God. I think she's regaining her sanity. 1200 01:20:51,847 --> 01:20:52,048 I think... 1201 01:20:53,216 --> 01:20:54,850 I think it's from the dildo up her butt. 1202 01:20:55,351 --> 01:20:55,985 Oh. 1203 01:20:56,619 --> 01:20:58,054 That's great. 1204 01:20:59,989 --> 01:21:03,059 I'm so sorry I didn't understand what you were trying to tell me. 1205 01:21:04,427 --> 01:21:05,929 When you said Beau Nerjoose took your sanity, 1206 01:21:07,096 --> 01:21:09,999 I thought you meant boner juice, not Beau Nerjoose. 1207 01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:13,970 Like Beau's his first name and Nerjoose is his last name. 1208 01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:15,038 I thought you meant... 1209 01:21:16,472 --> 01:21:18,942 Well, I thought you meant the juice from an erection. 1210 01:21:19,542 --> 01:21:21,010 Like semen or 1211 01:21:21,610 --> 01:21:22,078 man-milk or 1212 01:21:22,946 --> 01:21:23,980 cream of meat 1213 01:21:24,447 --> 01:21:25,014 splooge 1214 01:21:25,614 --> 01:21:26,950 chode-chowder 1215 01:21:27,483 --> 01:21:27,984 protien shake or 1216 01:21:28,584 --> 01:21:29,052 man-ranch 1217 01:21:29,953 --> 01:21:30,954 maybe jism or 1218 01:21:31,654 --> 01:21:31,955 a shlong-smoothie, 1219 01:21:32,555 --> 01:21:33,022 baby-batter, 1220 01:21:33,756 --> 01:21:34,958 ball-fredo sauce. 1221 01:21:35,791 --> 01:21:35,959 You know what I'm saying. 1222 01:21:36,825 --> 01:21:38,995 It's ok, Ron. It's my fault. 1223 01:21:40,063 --> 01:21:41,097 I should have explained my self better. 1224 01:21:47,103 --> 01:21:48,972 What happened? 1225 01:21:49,505 --> 01:21:50,106 I took a shit. 1226 01:21:51,307 --> 01:21:53,977 She took a shit on the dance floor. 1227 01:21:55,144 --> 01:21:57,113 She took a shit on the dance floor, baby. 1228 01:21:58,514 --> 01:22:00,984 You know that shit, it just drives me oh so crazy. 1229 01:22:02,151 --> 01:22:04,087 She took a shit on the dance floor, baby. 1230 01:22:05,521 --> 01:22:09,125 You know that shit, it just drives me oh so crazy. 1231 01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:20,069 Because it is hot shit. 1232 01:22:21,104 --> 01:22:25,074 Both hands and a map, bud! 1233 01:22:26,142 --> 01:22:30,013 I will eat your dick! 1234 01:22:31,147 --> 01:22:32,015 Oh Ronny, it's so great to see you. 1235 01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:35,118 I feel reborn now that the great dildo is back in my butthole. 1236 01:22:36,285 --> 01:22:38,154 That's cool mom. I'm gonna go take a shit. 1237 01:23:01,177 --> 01:23:04,080 Agnes Wartyhymen! 1238 01:23:08,117 --> 01:23:10,053 Beau Nerjoose! 1239 01:23:13,122 --> 01:23:14,090 There's no time. 1240 01:23:14,957 --> 01:23:18,194 Hello. Long time no Beau... 1241 01:23:19,062 --> 01:23:20,063 Nerjoose. 1242 01:23:21,064 --> 01:23:23,066 Where's everybody going? 1243 01:23:23,899 --> 01:23:25,068 The party's just starting. 1244 01:23:26,102 --> 01:23:29,105 All I wanted was a family. 1245 01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:31,074 Is that too much to ask? 1246 01:23:32,475 --> 01:23:35,078 Oh, and maybe a dick that doesn't suck it's own dick? 1247 01:23:36,079 --> 01:23:38,147 But no, no. Dr. Beau Nerjoose, 1248 01:23:39,348 --> 01:23:41,217 he can't be happy, can he? Oh no. No. 1249 01:23:42,418 --> 01:23:45,088 but now I have fucked the great fleshlight, 1250 01:23:46,255 --> 01:23:48,191 and my dick doesn't suck its own dick anymore. 1251 01:23:48,657 --> 01:23:49,158 Look! 1252 01:23:50,093 --> 01:23:51,127 It doesn't suck itself anymore. 1253 01:23:52,095 --> 01:23:53,196 It does look a lot better. 1254 01:23:56,199 --> 01:23:57,133 It does, doesn't it? 1255 01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:00,136 Oh Agnes. You made a new friend. 1256 01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:03,172 My dear, sweet Hope. 1257 01:24:04,107 --> 01:24:05,274 I think it's time you knew. 1258 01:24:06,709 --> 01:24:09,112 It was I who left you on the steps of that convent 1259 01:24:09,778 --> 01:24:13,116 for I am your father. 1260 01:24:14,417 --> 01:24:17,153 I stole you from that looney bin you were born in 1261 01:24:18,020 --> 01:24:21,157 for Agnes is your mother. 1262 01:24:21,757 --> 01:24:23,126 Is that true? 1263 01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:27,196 But how would you know? You haven't seen her since she was a... 1264 01:24:27,796 --> 01:24:29,132 A mother knows! 1265 01:24:30,433 --> 01:24:34,137 But that means that Hope and I are brother and sister. 1266 01:24:36,139 --> 01:24:40,143 But we totally boned, and she totally liked it a lot. 1267 01:24:41,177 --> 01:24:43,246 Well, you're only half-siblings. 1268 01:24:44,447 --> 01:24:48,184 Ron, your father was a man named We Nerjoose. 1269 01:24:49,051 --> 01:24:52,155 But wait. That's my father too. 1270 01:24:52,821 --> 01:24:53,289 You're my half-brother? 1271 01:24:54,157 --> 01:24:55,191 That means I'm... 1272 01:24:56,058 --> 01:24:58,161 Hope's uncle and brother. 1273 01:24:59,162 --> 01:25:01,164 Half-uncle, half-brother. 1274 01:25:01,864 --> 01:25:03,199 This is totally fucked! 1275 01:25:04,833 --> 01:25:07,270 If it makes you feel any better, my half-brother killed my mother too. 1276 01:25:08,471 --> 01:25:10,173 How is that supposed to make me feel any better? 1277 01:25:11,274 --> 01:25:13,209 Oh. I don't know. Because of this. 1278 01:25:17,213 --> 01:25:18,181 No! 1279 01:25:18,614 --> 01:25:19,215 Mom. 1280 01:25:19,682 --> 01:25:20,283 No. 1281 01:25:27,190 --> 01:25:31,227 It smells like a old, rabid raccoon got caught in a cotton candy machine. 1282 01:25:31,827 --> 01:25:33,196 Shhh. Shhh. 1283 01:25:33,862 --> 01:25:36,232 Ronny, come closer. 1284 01:25:37,300 --> 01:25:41,204 I could smell the whole time. 1285 01:25:46,309 --> 01:25:49,345 I cannot believe this is all the Coldplay they have. 1286 01:25:50,213 --> 01:25:51,214 This place sucks. 1287 01:25:55,318 --> 01:25:57,220 Beau Nerjoose. 1288 01:26:00,223 --> 01:26:02,291 I've got a bone to pick with you. 1289 01:26:05,261 --> 01:26:07,230 Oh hey, Ron. 1290 01:26:07,796 --> 01:26:09,232 You still here? 1291 01:26:11,234 --> 01:26:12,235 Yeah, dude. 1292 01:26:13,569 --> 01:26:15,238 You just killed my mom. That seriously pisses me off. 1293 01:26:16,339 --> 01:26:17,306 Don't be a baby. Be like my old dick, 1294 01:26:17,906 --> 01:26:19,275 and suck it up. 1295 01:26:21,244 --> 01:26:22,245 Now die! 1296 01:26:48,304 --> 01:26:50,273 Yeah! 1297 01:26:55,278 --> 01:26:56,279 Uppercock! 1298 01:26:57,280 --> 01:26:58,281 Guys, I'm winning! 1299 01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:01,417 Uppercunt! 1300 01:27:03,319 --> 01:27:04,287 No! 1301 01:27:26,375 --> 01:27:28,411 Do it! Do it now! 1302 01:27:29,612 --> 01:27:31,380 No! You don't know what you're doing! 1303 01:27:33,316 --> 01:27:36,352 May the dildo fuck the fleshlight! 1304 01:27:43,326 --> 01:27:45,328 What the fuck? 1305 01:27:46,329 --> 01:27:48,331 Here's something for your wiener. 1306 01:28:16,359 --> 01:28:17,360 Fuck! 1307 01:28:17,926 --> 01:28:19,362 Beau Nerjoose. 1308 01:28:20,095 --> 01:28:22,365 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 1309 01:28:22,965 --> 01:28:23,499 Stupid idiot! 1310 01:28:33,376 --> 01:28:35,444 Now feel the wrath of my taint! 1311 01:28:41,417 --> 01:28:44,453 I have ultimate power! 1312 01:28:46,389 --> 01:28:49,425 I am master of the universe! 1313 01:28:50,158 --> 01:28:53,496 I control everything! 1314 01:28:56,399 --> 01:28:56,499 Wait. 1315 01:28:57,400 --> 01:28:58,401 Something's wrong. 1316 01:28:59,067 --> 01:29:00,403 I can't control it. 1317 01:29:01,103 --> 01:29:01,437 Something's wrong. 1318 01:29:02,037 --> 01:29:02,438 It hurts. 1319 01:29:03,038 --> 01:29:03,472 My balls. 1320 01:29:06,409 --> 01:29:07,543 My taint. 1321 01:29:33,569 --> 01:29:37,540 Beau Nerjoose is dead. 1322 01:29:38,273 --> 01:29:40,476 Beau Nerjoose is dead. 1323 01:29:41,477 --> 01:29:45,548 Beau Nerjoose is dead. 1324 01:29:46,281 --> 01:29:48,484 Beau Nerjoose is dead. 1325 01:29:49,552 --> 01:29:51,454 Beau Nerjoose is 1326 01:29:51,887 --> 01:29:56,459 dead. 1327 01:29:57,593 --> 01:29:59,462 Beau Nerjoose is 1328 01:29:59,895 --> 01:30:04,500 dead. 1329 01:30:05,601 --> 01:30:07,436 Beau Nerjoose is 1330 01:30:07,903 --> 01:30:12,508 dead. 1331 01:30:13,609 --> 01:30:15,444 Beau Nerjoose is 1332 01:30:15,911 --> 01:30:20,516 dead. 1333 01:30:28,557 --> 01:30:29,592 What is that? 1334 01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:31,594 It's what's left of Beau Nerjoose. 1335 01:30:34,530 --> 01:30:37,533 I told you I'd eat your dick. 1336 01:30:42,437 --> 01:30:45,474 I guess no one man's taint can rule the universe. 1337 01:30:46,875 --> 01:30:49,512 Yes Ron. And thank you for helping us defeat Beau Nerjoose. 1338 01:30:50,746 --> 01:30:53,516 Now we can commence with out evil plan. 1339 01:30:55,518 --> 01:30:56,519 Wait. 1340 01:30:57,019 --> 01:30:57,452 Evil? 1341 01:30:58,654 --> 01:30:59,622 Oh you didn't know? We're super evil. 1342 01:31:01,590 --> 01:31:02,591 All of you? 1343 01:31:03,225 --> 01:31:03,659 Even Hope? 1344 01:31:04,459 --> 01:31:05,661 Yeah I'm evil as fuck. 1345 01:31:06,394 --> 01:31:08,531 How would a nun get HPV? 1346 01:31:09,064 --> 01:31:09,532 I don't know. 1347 01:31:11,534 --> 01:31:12,535 A pogo-stick? 1348 01:31:13,602 --> 01:31:15,604 That is rich my friend. 1349 01:31:16,071 --> 01:31:16,672 Rich. 1350 01:31:17,540 --> 01:31:18,574 You fuckin' nuts? 1351 01:31:19,742 --> 01:31:21,577 Yeah. Booty worms. Tittie maggots. 1352 01:31:22,444 --> 01:31:23,546 It's all super-evil shit. 1353 01:31:24,680 --> 01:31:25,548 We made you break the ten commandments. 1354 01:31:26,414 --> 01:31:27,650 It's totally fucking evil. 1355 01:31:29,284 --> 01:31:33,556 Oh yes. And now that we have the great dildo and the great fleshlight, 1356 01:31:35,090 --> 01:31:38,661 we can speed up the gestation process so Hope will have her baby 1357 01:31:40,563 --> 01:31:43,566 and yours. 1358 01:31:44,299 --> 01:31:48,604 But I'm Hope's brother 1359 01:31:49,204 --> 01:31:50,573 and her uncle. 1360 01:31:52,007 --> 01:31:53,709 Oh yes. It'll probably be super-inbred-retarded. 1361 01:31:54,943 --> 01:31:55,578 Not to mention that fact that it's also 1362 01:31:57,112 --> 01:31:58,647 totally the anti-christ that will exterminate all of humanity. 1363 01:31:59,147 --> 01:31:59,615 What? 1364 01:32:00,649 --> 01:32:01,617 Do it! 1365 01:33:05,714 --> 01:33:06,715 Son? 1366 01:33:16,659 --> 01:33:18,661 Daddy! 1367 01:33:25,801 --> 01:33:30,673 And then I jacked off and I shot my dad with my laser dick. 1368 01:33:31,807 --> 01:33:32,675 I shot like loads of people with it. 1369 01:33:33,408 --> 01:33:34,677 Pretty much everybody. 1370 01:33:35,543 --> 01:33:36,812 I'm totes the anti-christ. 1371 01:33:37,680 --> 01:33:39,682 Honey, I'm making sandwiches. 1372 01:33:42,751 --> 01:33:43,752 What kind? 1373 01:33:45,721 --> 01:33:47,690 Bologna. 1374 01:33:48,356 --> 01:33:49,825 Bologna, fuck yeah! 1375 01:33:54,697 --> 01:33:59,702 He died for you, and me too, 1376 01:34:00,836 --> 01:34:04,773 and all the dead people too. 1377 01:34:05,708 --> 01:34:09,845 He died for you, and me too, 1378 01:34:11,747 --> 01:34:15,718 and all the dead people too. 1379 01:34:16,584 --> 01:34:20,789 He died for you, and me too, 1380 01:34:22,725 --> 01:34:26,729 and all the dead people too. 1381 01:34:27,529 --> 01:34:31,734 He died for you, and me too, 1382 01:34:32,868 --> 01:34:36,839 and all the dead people too. 1383 01:34:37,740 --> 01:34:41,877 He died for you, and me too, 1384 01:34:43,779 --> 01:34:47,750 and all the dead people too. 1385 01:34:48,616 --> 01:34:52,821 He died for you, and me too, 1386 01:34:54,757 --> 01:34:58,861 and all the dead people too. 1387 01:35:02,865 --> 01:35:04,767 Oh. 1388 01:35:05,801 --> 01:35:06,769 Oh. 1389 01:35:08,804 --> 01:35:10,839 Oh, it was just a dream. 1390 01:35:24,820 --> 01:35:25,854 Daddy. 90557