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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:40,958 'Once upon a time, in a town not far from yours, 2 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:44,002 'there lived a real fast guy. 3 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:48,006 'His life was fast. His friends were fast. 4 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:51,301 'Even his food was fast. 5 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,555 'But he was still not satisfied. 6 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,224 'He wanted to share his fast philosophy 7 00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:00,018 'with someone else: 8 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:02,563 'A beautiful girl. 9 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:06,483 'The trouble was she was in the arms of 10 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,860 'another man.' 11 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:13,156 j“ 12 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:43,186 J“ 13 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,780 Whoops! 14 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,133 J“ 15 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,892 Good luck, honey. 16 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,255 - What are we gonna do, Janet? - It's all right, Brad. 17 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,716 Everything's gonna be all right. 18 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,414 J“ 19 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,416 J“ 20 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,718 J“ you'll find happy hearts 21 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,387 j“ and smiling faces 22 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:43,140 j“ and tolerance for 23 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,976 j“ the ethnic races 24 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,520 j“ in denton 25 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:54,151 j“ you'll find a ramblin' Rose 26 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,903 j“ and a picket fence 27 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,905 j“ tenderness 28 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:02,242 j“ and innocence 29 00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,536 j“ in denton 30 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,207 j“ you'll find conference rooms 31 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,169 j“ and a children's playground 32 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:16,256 j“ denton is a real okay town 33 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:20,093 j“ civic pride and civic duty 34 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,804 j“ and denton girls are 35 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,727 J“ full of beauty 36 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:32,063 j“ you may call us the goody-goody two shoes 37 00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:35,776 j“ we're here to cheer you with the good news 38 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,653 j“ that d-e-n-t-o-n 39 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,448 j“ gets t-e-n that's ten out of ten 40 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,493 j“ if you're looking for a life of leisure 41 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:47,245 j“ you're gonna get a whole lot to please ya 42 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,790 - j“ again and again - j“ and again and again 43 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,083 J“ and again 44 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,337 J“ denton, denton 45 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,381 j“ you've got no pretension 46 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:04,054 j“ you're where the heart is you're okay 47 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,473 j“ denton, denton 48 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,643 j“ I'd just like to mention 49 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,521 j“ you're the home of youth 50 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,232 j“ you're america's truth 51 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:20,445 j“ you're denton denton, u.S.A. 52 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,906 J“ this is the mecca of america 53 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,659 j“ the Bethlehem of the west 54 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,703 j“ this is the birthplace of the virtuous 55 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,206 j“ the home of happiness 56 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,669 j“ leisure-wise we're sure you will adapt 57 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,255 j“ enjoy your stay have a happy holiday 58 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:44,302 j“ and we'll all put denton denton on the map 59 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,304 J“ denton, denton 60 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,391 j“ you've got no pretension 61 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:54,479 j“ you're where the heart is you're okay 62 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,607 j“ denton, denton 63 00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:00,735 j“ I'd just like to mention 64 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,780 j“ you're the home of youth 65 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,700 j“ you're america's truth 66 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:11,329 j“ you're denton denton, u.S.A. 67 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,708 J“ denton, denton 68 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,794 j“ you've got no pretension 69 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:23,633 j“ you're where the heart is you're okay 70 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,094 j“ denton, denton 71 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:29,306 j“ I'd just like to mention 72 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:33,059 j“ you're the acceptable face 73 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,270 j“ of the human race 74 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:41,651 j“ you're denton denton, u.S.A. J“ 75 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,529 well, how about that? 76 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,907 Wasn't that terrific? 77 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,075 And now for, well, certainly... 78 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,828 My favourite part of the show... 79 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,332 - And I sincerely hope yours at home. - Get the whole crowd. 80 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,810 - Our regular in-depth discussion... - Dressing room. Right here. 81 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,211 With judge Oliver Wright, 82 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:05,175 denton's leading social scientist. 83 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,135 - Judge Wright? - Mm-hmm. 84 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:10,931 Did you enjoy our anthem? 85 00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,183 In a way. 86 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,936 I detect a note of reticence. 87 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,313 Are you perhaps one of those amongst us... 88 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:23,777 Who feel this emotive form of presentation is overly manipulative? 89 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,488 Well, Betty, there are many ways 90 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,616 that the spider may catch the fly. 91 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,952 There are monetary inducements. 92 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:35,580 - Hi, Brad. Hi, Janet. Come for marriage maze? - 'Extortion.' 93 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,123 seduction. 94 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:40,877 I'm exhausted working on this documentary for farley's new show. 95 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,253 - Hmm? - 'Blackmail.' 96 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,631 - farley flavours, our new sponsor. - Oh. 97 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,716 - Whoo. - 'Prejudice.' 98 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,095 I tell you, Janet, that guy's as close as we'll come 99 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,472 to a successful man in this town. 100 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:56,434 - 'And lies.' - 'Thank you, judge Oliver Wright.' 101 00:07:56,559 --> 00:08:00,438 and now for a commercial break. 102 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:07,487 Okay, kids, let's hear the five f's for today. 103 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,572 - "F" for... - Farley! 104 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,741 - "F" for... - Flavours! 105 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,660 - "F" for... - Fabulous! 106 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,412 - "F" for... - Fast! 107 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,247 - And "f" for... - Five! 108 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,754 'First and foremost, 109 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,840 'farley flavours' fabulous fast foods 110 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:31,136 'feed and fortify families for a fabulous future.' 111 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,097 'Stand by for marriage maze. Strike denton dossier.' 112 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,726 thank you so much, judge Wright, for another wonderful interview. 113 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:41,813 Judge Wright? Oh, come on, Betty. First names surely. 114 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:45,483 Oh. Oliver. You're so tolerant. 115 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,986 Time for a coffee break before you rush off? 116 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:52,574 I'd love to, that is if you don't mind being seen with an older man. 117 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,701 Why, Oliver. 118 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:59,372 Since Ralph and I separated, maturity is something I look for in a man. 119 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,918 - Hi, Ollie. - Hi, Betty. 120 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,171 - Hi, Betty. - Hello, neely. 121 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,298 You keep up that high standard of interview 122 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,426 and I'm gonna have to include you in farley's documentary. 123 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,721 You're so probing. 124 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,723 A free thinker. 125 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,017 Everything's free there. 126 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,439 - Hi, Betty. The usual? - Plus one. 127 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:27,901 There you go. Hi, Max. Hey, you gonna be watching marriage maze? 128 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:31,696 - Sure am. This could be Bert schnick's finest hour. - Yeah. 129 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,740 - Yeah? - Yeah. 130 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:38,578 - This could be a major step forward for him. - Yeah, a leap in the dark. 131 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,164 I better go check on the Bert. Otherwise... 132 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,416 - Right. - Good luck. 133 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,585 - Okay. - J“ 134 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,004 'And here to bring yourjust desserts 135 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,340 'and a recipe for a perfect marriage 136 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,675 'is that gorgeous gourmet, 137 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,011 'tossing the uproarious salad of life, 138 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,515 'marriage maze host, Bert schnick.' 139 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,558 'Three seconds.' 140 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:14,572 - Hoopla, denton! - Hoopla, Bert! 141 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,659 J“ 142 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,541 Thank you. Welcome. Thank you. 143 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:28,795 Before we start I want to say one or two words about tomorrow night's great new show... 144 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,839 The faith factory sh... 145 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:36,094 And as a matter of fact, we have in the studio audience tonight 146 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,429 the host and his lovely cohost. 147 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,724 Give a big hand, please, to Ralph hapschatt 148 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,936 and the vivacious Macy struthers. 149 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,813 Hey, Ralph! 150 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,778 Let's get a camera in there, for heaven's sake. 151 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:58,241 - Over the moon about that commercial, Macy. - Thanks, Bert. 152 00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,244 Got a good show lined up for us tomorrow night, Ralph? 153 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,496 You bet, Bert! 154 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:08,459 Good! I'm gonna be there! Ain't we all, viewers? 155 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:12,172 'Macy struthers with my husband. God, I must've been blind.' 156 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:16,509 still, the weaker the man, the dumber the blonde. 157 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:20,013 Isn't that Brad and Janet majors sitting in the audience there? 158 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,307 'What an ideal couple they are. 159 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:25,977 'You know, more than anyone else in denton, they represent the old values.' 160 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,396 ike would have been proud of them. 161 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:33,359 And now, would the first couple who seem to have made a hash of their marriage 162 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:37,655 and cooked their goose, step this way, please! 163 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:41,034 - You! - That's us, Brad. 164 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:44,829 Come on. What's cooking up there? Come on down, you guys. 165 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,248 Let's feel you. 166 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:51,461 - I'm not going, Janet. - You've got to. Everyone's watching. 167 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:56,925 J“ 168 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:07,143 Face the cameras. Face the cameras. 169 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,145 Now introduce yourselves. 170 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,315 - My name is Brad... - I'm Janet... oh. Sorry. 171 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,444 I'm Janet majors, and this is my husband Brad. 172 00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:21,199 Hey, Brad, we've been hearing some bad things about you. Haven't we, Janet? 173 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:27,497 - Haven't we, Janet? - Uh, yes, he needs help. 174 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:30,625 Help? Let's face it, Janet. 175 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,086 Brad's an emotional cripple. 176 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,343 'I know, I know.' 177 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:44,597 it looks like rest home for this stupid old marriage, eh? 178 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,481 Tell me, Janet. 'Do you watch dentonvale? 179 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:57,193 Uh, yes, I've caught it once or twice. 180 00:12:57,318 --> 00:13:00,238 That's right. Dtv's most popular hospital series 181 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:03,074 featuring those perennial favourites, nation and cosmo McKinley. 182 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,868 Neuro-specialists par excellence. 183 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,079 I recommend, if you pardon my French, Janet, 184 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:11,374 that you send Brad to them for treatment. 185 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:16,587 Oh, uh, well, I know he's a little boring, but neuro-specialists? 186 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:22,343 - That sounds a little drastic. - It's no use pussyfooting around, Janet. 187 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,721 We have to cut quick and deep. 188 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,890 J“ 189 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,519 McKinley? McKinley? 190 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,646 - Bert brought them over from Europe. - Oh? 191 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:37,317 They had a very popular series together. It's still rerun in a lot of countries. 192 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,946 - You must have seen them in dentonvale? - No, I never watch that. 193 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,867 I'm afraid there's only one solution. Isn't there, folks? 194 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,745 One, two, three. 195 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,414 Dentonvale! 196 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,751 Hoopla! Don't go away! 197 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,629 We'll be right back to see if Brad and Janet want to play or pass. 198 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,883 J“ 199 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:13,978 Congratulations. I think you've made a wise decision. 200 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,773 - But... but I... - Janet? 201 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,692 - I'm not going. - What do you mean, you're not going? 202 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,153 You'll ruin the show. Bert's made all the arrangements. 203 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,614 Butldont need treatment. 204 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,910 'But you do need glasses, eh, stupid?' 205 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,454 Doesn't he? 206 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:44,592 I am sick of being humiliated by you! Bert's right. You're going. 207 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:48,554 'It looks like Brad and Janet majors have a big decision to make. 208 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,224 'Here's some more prizes to amaze here on marriage maze.' 209 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:54,769 - j“ dear blender - you won't blend into the background... 210 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,980 J“ won't you help a first offender 211 00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:02,235 - j“ oh, toaster... - 'Pop up in the popularity ratings...' 212 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,821 j“ don't you put the burn on me 213 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:09,534 - 'just look at this.' - J“ refrigerator 214 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:13,204 j“ why are we always sooner or later 215 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:17,792 j“ bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 216 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,378 'living on a knife edge?' 217 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,297 - j“ dear knife drawer - 'stay sharp with this keen knife.' 218 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,509 j“ now won't you help me to face life more 219 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:30,555 - j“ oh, trash can - you can-can with the trash can. 220 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,475 J“ don't you put the dirt on me 221 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,603 j“ oh, percolator 222 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:41,482 - j“ why are we always sooner or later - 'no toil, no trouble.' 223 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:48,614 j“ bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 224 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,826 j“ everything used to be okay 225 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,911 j“ but I've been had 226 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,372 j“ and, Brad I'm glad to say 227 00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:00,835 j“ is on his way 228 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:04,046 j“ micro-digital awaker 229 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,842 j“ why are we always sooner or later 230 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:13,514 j“ bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 231 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:17,018 - j“ shower curtain - 'wash those blues away...' 232 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:21,189 j“ won't you help me to be certain 233 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:25,193 - j“ oh, toothpaste - 'arm yourself to the teeth...' 234 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,946 j“ don't you put the squeeze on me 235 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:32,241 j“ depilatator 236 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:35,828 j“ why are we always sooner or later 237 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:40,583 j“ bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 238 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,714 'Now it's back to marriage maze. And for those of you who are dentonvale watchers, 239 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,633 'here's our surprise guest. 240 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:52,428 - 'And here's Bert!' - Hey, folks! It's Ricky from the rest home. 241 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,514 - Hey, Bert. - Hey, Ricky. 242 00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,766 I've come for Mr. Majors. 243 00:16:56,891 --> 00:17:01,604 Brad will learn how to care in the surgical chair. 244 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:08,945 - Nothing serious, I hope? - Oh, no. Just a routine checkup. 245 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:13,115 Just a routine checkup, eh, viewers? 246 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,663 'Come in.' 247 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,415 j“ tell me, spectator 248 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:25,127 j“ why are we always sooner or later 249 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:30,508 j“ bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night j“ 250 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:38,307 'Well, Bert's done it again. 251 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,060 'Another rocky marriage is headed for intensive care.' 252 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,604 the subject is committed. 253 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,317 As are we all. 254 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,654 - J“ - 'Dentonvale. 255 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:55,408 'The arrival. Introducing Brad and Janet majors.' 256 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:59,412 ah, Mr. and Mrs. Majors. How wonderful to see you. 257 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,872 I'm doctor cosmo McKinley, 258 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,875 and this is my sister and colleague, 259 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,878 Dr. Nation McKinley. 260 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,549 We understand you've been going through a rather trying time. 261 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,634 Well, yes, we have. 262 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,220 Now listen. There's... There's nothing really wrong with me. 263 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,514 Janet and I haven't been getting along too well lately 264 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,809 and I've had a little... A little trouble... 265 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:27,607 - Oh, Brad. - Ooh. 266 00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,526 - Does he do this often? - No, he's never done this before. 267 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,737 Good. Then there's still hope. 268 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,822 Lots and lots of hope. 269 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:37,241 If anyone can help Brad, we can. 270 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:40,202 - Well, he does need help. - Nurse ansalong, you've arrived. 271 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:44,707 - Oh, that was real short notice because the other models... - Attend to Mr. Majors, nurse. 272 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:48,461 There are just one or two formalities that have to be dealt with, Mrs. Majors. 273 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,464 A contract to be signed. 274 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,674 Oh, could I do that later, please? 275 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,010 Of course you can, Mrs. Majors. 276 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,642 Sign the contract tomorrow. 277 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:06,854 Ouch! Mrs. Majors. Just one or two details. 278 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:11,150 Does Brad have any living relatives... Any blood relatives? 279 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:15,446 - No, he doesn't. Could I take care of this later? - Of course. 280 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,992 Why did you tell me not to sign now? 281 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:24,538 Well, that way you get the first day free. 282 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:34,715 'Here's Bert, that eternal showbiz wiz, 283 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:39,011 'with a family connection in the 30—second quiz.' 284 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,682 as Janet's parents, this should be really easy. 285 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,059 About Brad's family? 286 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,853 Your last clue is... 287 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,940 Mental instability. 288 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:54,026 You have 30 seconds. 289 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,321 Mental instability? 290 00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:01,367 - He was adopted, you know. - Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten. 291 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:04,912 Well, I hadn't. I was worried about inherited craziness when they married. 292 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:08,666 I said to Janet, "what do we know of his parents?" 293 00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:12,378 - Which leads us to... - 'This afternoon's surprise prize, Bert... 294 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:17,299 'Which is a delirious stay in that evergreen series happy homes, 295 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:21,095 - 'with unlimited use of a new dream kitchen.' - Infantile regression? 296 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:25,015 - You got it! - I got it! 297 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,728 - She got it! She got it! - I got it! 298 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,479 I got it! 299 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:33,149 She got it! 300 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:37,486 Congratulations. Congratulations. And it's happy homes... 301 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,906 To Harry and Emily weiss of denton. 302 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:47,371 Aha. 303 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:51,167 I got it! I got it! 304 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,878 She got it! She got it! 305 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:57,006 In one. Infantile regression. 306 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,717 Our speciality! 307 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:04,680 - Your speciality. - I can't wait to begin on him. 308 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,974 Really, Bert, I don't know what we'd do without you. 309 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,310 I must confess... 310 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:13,981 The decision to have Brad committed was not strictly my own. 311 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,983 No, of course. There's Janet. 312 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,779 But if she was so keen on getting him in here, 313 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,947 why wouldn't she sign the contract? 314 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,367 No, it wasn't Janet exacfly. 315 00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:30,289 - It was, in fact, your new sponsor. - Sponsor? 316 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:34,084 - Dentonvale has been sold. - Som? 317 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:36,212 Dear old Bert's settled everything. 318 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,964 Ja, you endorse his faith factory... 319 00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:42,843 - And he endorses your research. - He? 320 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:47,056 How dare this person take advantage of my weakness! 321 00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:51,644 I don't think he intends to go that far. 322 00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:58,651 J“ 323 00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,112 J“ if only you knew 324 00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:07,243 j“ how to win some prizes 325 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,245 j“ if only you knew 326 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:13,707 j“ how to play 327 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:17,878 j“ if you could sleep nights 328 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:20,214 j“ and stop your crying 329 00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:23,342 j“ then you might find out I still love you 330 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:27,096 j“ in my own way 331 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:31,851 j“ if that's not enough then I'm 332 00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:34,395 j“ so sorry I met you 333 00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:36,522 j“ it was almost like 334 00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:42,570 j“ leading you on 335 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:46,031 j“ but there's more to it all 336 00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:50,703 j“ than just wringing your heart out over something 337 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:56,625 j“ that keeps on going wrong 338 00:22:56,709 --> 00:23:00,212 j“ so don't tell me you love me 339 00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:07,136 j“ how am I supposed to know what that means 340 00:23:07,261 --> 00:23:09,889 j“ no, don't sell emotion 341 00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,141 j“ you can't buy devotion 342 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:17,813 j“ if you're falling apart at the seams 343 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:21,108 j“ I hope that you'll smile when you 344 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:24,653 j“ reach your conclusion 345 00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:31,660 j“ I hope that you'll know just what to say 346 00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,997 j“ but if it should mean 347 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,708 j“ that the party is over 348 00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:41,670 j“ you should know that I still love you 349 00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:44,715 j“ you should know that I still love you 350 00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:49,929 j“ you should know that I still love you 351 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:52,181 j“ in my own way 352 00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:55,851 j“ in my own way 353 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,521 j“ in my own way 354 00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:01,982 j“ in my own way j“ 355 00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:06,111 - oh, my poor baby. - Oh, mom, it's Brad. 356 00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:10,157 I know. I know, baby. He's gonna get all the help he needs. 357 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,203 - But in the meantime, look. For you. - What is it? 358 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,455 They call it a new look at an old favourite. 359 00:24:16,538 --> 00:24:18,874 I copied it from the window on the world show. 360 00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,627 - The far east meets the midwest. - Mom... 361 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:24,129 It's just what the doctor ordered, I know. 362 00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:27,549 - Come on in. My favourite show's just started. - What show? 363 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:30,469 Dentonvale. 364 00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:33,472 J“ 365 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,818 'Love starts in the home, 366 00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:50,030 'and where better to find this than in today's happy homes. 367 00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:54,159 'With guest star, Janet majors.' 368 00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:57,705 'If you're sick of having the goodness boiled away out of your coffee, 369 00:24:57,788 --> 00:25:02,167 'replace that old perk of yours with a coffeemaker of prestigious distinction. 370 00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:06,755 'And be the envy of all with a coffeemaker that says it all.' 371 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,425 'Oh, thanks.' 372 00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:14,346 'when that man of yours comes in from the big outdoors with a burning thirst 373 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,016 'that only lake Michigan could satisfy, 374 00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:22,980 'make sure there's a cold can of krautmeister light in the icebox. 375 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,190 'He'll thank you for it. 376 00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:29,028 'And he'll thank krautmeister.' 377 00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:32,865 for crying out loud, Emily. Leave her alone. She's not a kid. 378 00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:36,201 - Well, I wanted to see her in it. - It's really very nice. 379 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:39,079 The material is imported. Taiwanese. 380 00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:41,874 Damn it, Emily. She's not interested. 381 00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:44,126 What are you trying to do, Harry, start an argument? 382 00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:46,128 Don't you want your daughter to look pretty? 383 00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:48,130 Who's she got to look pretty for? 384 00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:50,549 - She's got a husband. - She's got a weirdo! 385 00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:54,803 I've never been able to afford the time to have a nervous breakdown! 386 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:58,390 - Oh, poor Brad. - Thank god he was born an orphan. 387 00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:01,351 It would have killed his parents. 388 00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:05,022 And thank goodness he hasn't ended up like that slepstrini boy. 389 00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:09,234 What are you talking about? Danny slepstrini's a chip off the old block. 390 00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,779 I played 18 holes of golf with his fatherjust last week, 391 00:26:11,862 --> 00:26:15,908 and Hank says that Danny's moved to New York to... better himself. 392 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:18,243 He moved, all right... 393 00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:22,790 When they found him at the back of Wilson's bakery... naked... 394 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:26,877 With 15 other men. 395 00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:29,338 Mexicans. 396 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:42,601 I'm gonna catch up on a fewjobs that need doing outside! 397 00:26:45,145 --> 00:26:47,689 - You shouldn't have said that. - But why? 398 00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:50,150 Your father doesn't like Mexicans. 399 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:52,361 'Your father doesn't like Mexicans.' 400 00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:59,618 J“ 401 00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:01,954 J“ a man should call the toss 402 00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:04,456 j“ wear the pants and be the boss 403 00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:06,708 j“ a man should be the Drake 404 00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:09,128 j“ for his own damned sake 405 00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,421 j“ and men should be the misters 406 00:27:11,505 --> 00:27:13,966 j“ and the masters of their sisters 407 00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:15,968 j“ a man should be the reason 408 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:18,011 j“ for a heart to break 409 00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:23,225 j“ so be moral don't quarrel 410 00:27:23,308 --> 00:27:26,520 j“ fair and square is best 411 00:27:26,603 --> 00:27:29,857 j“ let me alert you that virtue 412 00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:32,151 j“ won't hurt you or desert you 413 00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:36,738 j“ if you wear hair on your chest 414 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:41,577 J“ so always remember to follow the rules 415 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,121 - j“ box clever - j“ jocks never 416 00:27:44,246 --> 00:27:46,915 j“ hock anotherjock's tools 417 00:27:50,752 --> 00:27:54,423 j“ a man should wax a car fix a fuse and tend a bar 418 00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:58,886 j“ a man should like his brow to be wet with sweat 419 00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:01,346 j“ and should know the right occasions 420 00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:04,057 j“ to indulge in tax evasions 421 00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:08,187 j“ a man should know the settings that his spark plugs get 422 00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,149 j“ faggots are maggots 423 00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:19,198 j“ thank god I'm a man j“ 424 00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,045 What a meal! 425 00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:37,841 Scrumptious, meine liebling. I insist on the recipe. 426 00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:41,762 Coming from a gourmet, that's praise indeed. But... secrets. 427 00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:48,143 With fast-food farley at the helm, it'll probably be TV dinners from now on. 428 00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:53,649 Farley is already a TV winner as we shall see. 429 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:58,737 Dentonvale will run forever now that his interest 430 00:28:58,862 --> 00:29:01,615 has embraced mental hygiene. 431 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,742 Our field. 432 00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:07,037 I'm convinced there's some kind of conspiracy. 433 00:29:07,162 --> 00:29:09,081 - Conspiracy? - Mm-hmm. 434 00:29:09,164 --> 00:29:11,458 Well, that's a little far-fetched. 435 00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:14,544 Oh, I don't know. Remember lieutenant orpheus? 436 00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:17,214 He disappeared into that underworld series and never came back. 437 00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:19,716 Sounds like my husband. He never came back either. 438 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,178 Not after flavours gave him a commercial break. 439 00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:26,265 Oh, yes, farley flavours. You know, I find it remarkable 440 00:29:26,348 --> 00:29:31,186 that his faith factory is being financed by an entire nation's indigestion. 441 00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:37,776 Who do you think gave you the next episode? 442 00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:41,113 So that Janet will be free to front line 443 00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:43,198 the new faith factory show. 444 00:29:43,323 --> 00:29:46,285 - We're the experts. - Who trusts experts? 445 00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:48,412 Why Janet? 446 00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:52,457 Everyone loves the girl next door. 447 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,878 Particularly farley. 448 00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,633 So it seems. 449 00:30:11,601 --> 00:30:13,937 Come in. 450 00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:16,315 - Oh, hi. 451 00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:18,692 - Hi. - I just came to give you this. 452 00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:21,028 - Thank you. - Hi! 453 00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:26,575 We'd better get going. Tomorrow's the big one, and farley expects. 454 00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:28,452 Oh, you bet. 455 00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:32,914 - I guess we'd better leave you young things to it. - Good-bye. 456 00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:35,334 - Bye. - Bye. 457 00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:44,343 - Oh, Ralph. - Yeah? 458 00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:48,680 - Shove it! - Oh, you shove it too, Betty! 459 00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:52,476 Alimony is just another word for rape. 460 00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:59,191 Conspiracy is right. 461 00:30:59,274 --> 00:31:02,486 - The denton dossier is... - Closed. 462 00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:08,575 - J“ - 'Dentonvale. 463 00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:12,329 'Special guest star, Janet majors.' 464 00:31:12,454 --> 00:31:15,749 - Janet! - I've come to see Brad. 465 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:19,544 That's out of the question. He's sleeping like a baby. 466 00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:23,799 - It's you we're concerned about, Janet. - Yes, Janet, how are you? 467 00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:27,928 - Are you happy? - Oh, I'm happy. 468 00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:30,806 There are countless people in this world, Janet, 469 00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:33,558 who believe that they're happy. 470 00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:35,560 But they only think they're happy. 471 00:31:35,685 --> 00:31:38,855 Oh, well, that doesn't make any sense. 472 00:31:42,025 --> 00:31:45,112 This might, Janet. 473 00:31:47,531 --> 00:31:52,077 And a big denton welcome to my new delegation. 474 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:56,957 This is farley and I'm here with the score. 475 00:31:57,082 --> 00:32:00,710 We're going to package and sell some mental health to the nation, 476 00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:04,297 with my dream of the girl next door. 477 00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:10,220 J“ oh, why aren't they doing tomorrow's new dance steps 478 00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:13,723 j“ the way they used to yesterday 479 00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:17,811 j“ and who draws a perfect circle anymore 480 00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:23,108 j“ and if you're waiting for greatness to shake hands with you 481 00:32:23,191 --> 00:32:26,987 j“ you'd better daydream your life away 482 00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:32,367 j“ I've only wanted one thing and that's for sure 483 00:32:33,827 --> 00:32:36,997 j“ you're not just looking at a fast-food king 484 00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:40,250 j“ just another well-known face 485 00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:44,713 j“ you're not looking at the king of anything 486 00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:49,843 j“ I'm gonna shoot for the moon I'm gonna play high noon 487 00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:53,680 j“ I'm gonna take on the entire human race 488 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:57,767 j“ you're not looking at a king 489 00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,729 j“ you're looking at an ace 490 00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:08,153 j“ ooh, I got sight and I've seen the light 491 00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:11,615 j“ and I'm gonna see the coming day 492 00:33:11,698 --> 00:33:14,367 j“ when the sun in the sky is a spotlight 493 00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:18,038 j“ just for me 494 00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:21,833 j“ I'm gonna take my time and rock some rhyme 495 00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,711 j“ oh, it's gonna take your breath away 496 00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:27,297 j“ you'll be the front page rage of the age 497 00:33:27,380 --> 00:33:31,801 j“ just wait and see 498 00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:34,930 j“ you're not just looking at a fast-food king 499 00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:38,433 j“ just another well-known face 500 00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:44,523 j“ you're not looking at the king of anything 501 00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:47,692 j“ we're gonna shoot for the moon we're gonna play high noon 502 00:33:47,776 --> 00:33:51,947 j“ we're gonna take on the entire human race 503 00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:55,700 - j“ you're not looking at a king - j“ no, no, no, no, no 504 00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:58,870 - j“ you're looking at an ace - j“ you're looking at an ace 505 00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:01,915 - j“ you're looking at a goddamned ace - j“ you're looking at an ace 506 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,335 - j“ you're looking at an ace - j“ you're looking at an ace 507 00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:09,881 j“ you're looking at an a-a-a-ace j“ 508 00:34:10,006 --> 00:34:14,594 I just love home movies, don't you? 509 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,806 Time's tight, Janet. Do it right, Janet. 510 00:34:19,474 --> 00:34:22,477 Until tomorrow night... 511 00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:24,604 Janet 512 00:34:27,107 --> 00:34:32,153 well, farley flavours is fairly flattering. 513 00:34:34,781 --> 00:34:37,158 But I want to see Brad. 514 00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:40,203 The question is, Janet, does Brad want to see you? 515 00:34:40,287 --> 00:34:44,583 - Quite frankly, he hates you. - What do you mean? 516 00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:48,670 Brad is harbouring deep feelings of hostility towards you, Janet. 517 00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:51,548 - Towards me? - It's classical. 518 00:34:51,631 --> 00:34:55,760 Almost a textbook case. 519 00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,555 Oh, no! 520 00:34:58,638 --> 00:35:00,932 That's an extremely negative response. 521 00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:04,185 Yes, Janet. Leave the crying to Brad. 522 00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:06,688 Is it because I'm becoming too popular? 523 00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:11,651 On the contrary, Janet, he wants to see your ratings soar. 524 00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:16,072 He needs a woman of exceptional desirability. 525 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:18,533 So, you see, Janet, 526 00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:22,370 you can help us to help him. 527 00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:31,588 Maybe I can. 528 00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:34,674 J“ 529 00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:48,438 'Stand by for faith factory rehearsal.' 530 00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:52,400 I bet that Macy struthers had a hand in this. 531 00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:55,528 We'll probably be replaced by an hour of fashion tips. 532 00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:59,157 - Now, Betty, don't overreact. - Overreact? 533 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,743 You're the one with theories about conspirac... 534 00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:06,081 - Oliver? - Yes, Betty? 535 00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:10,627 Are you spoken for this evening? 536 00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:15,507 J“ 537 00:36:20,261 --> 00:36:22,931 All right, you guys. 538 00:36:23,056 --> 00:36:28,353 An early start tomorrow for Janet's debut on good morning denton. 539 00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:32,273 By the time we unveil farley's faith factory show... 540 00:36:32,357 --> 00:36:36,194 We'll have all earned our beauty sleep. 541 00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:41,074 - Could I just peep in on Brad before I go home? - Home? 542 00:36:42,325 --> 00:36:44,953 Home. 543 00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:48,998 This is the nerve centre of operations, Janet. 544 00:36:49,082 --> 00:36:52,377 You must stay here tonight. That way we can all be together 545 00:36:52,460 --> 00:36:57,090 when Mr. Sun paints us a new day with his golden brush. 546 00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:05,390 And you can "peep in" on Brad in the morning. 547 00:37:05,515 --> 00:37:07,600 Morning? 548 00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,894 Are all the beds made up? 549 00:37:09,978 --> 00:37:12,188 Oh, yes! I've plumped up all the pillows, changed... 550 00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:15,483 - Then lock up for the night. - Okay! 551 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,134 Clever of you to find this spot, Betty. 552 00:37:41,217 --> 00:37:44,220 It pays to know your way around, Oliver. 553 00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:48,057 I thought the home of happiness would give your theory a new perspective. 554 00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:50,810 A stately pleasure home indeed. 555 00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:55,607 Oh, I adore coleridge Taylor. 556 00:37:55,690 --> 00:37:57,650 As a matter of fact... 557 00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:05,533 "It is an ancient mariner... 558 00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:08,787 "And he stoppeth one of three. 559 00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:13,666 "By thy long grey beard and glittering eye... 560 00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:18,755 "Now wherefore stop'st thou me?" 561 00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:31,434 J“ 562 00:38:48,409 --> 00:38:51,162 J“ I feel the heat from your skin 563 00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:53,540 j“ and the stubble on your chin 564 00:38:53,623 --> 00:38:56,167 j“ you're no good 565 00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:58,878 j“ you're no good 566 00:38:58,962 --> 00:39:01,297 j“ you've got dirt on your hands 567 00:39:01,381 --> 00:39:03,758 j“ and everybody understands 568 00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,427 j“ you're no good 569 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,596 j“ you're no good 570 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,224 - j“ oh, what a joke - j“ what a joke 571 00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:13,768 j“ you feel like choking 572 00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:16,354 - j“ you play for broke - j“ you play for broke 573 00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:18,398 j“ he leaves you smoking 574 00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:24,112 j“ oh, romance is not a children's game 575 00:39:24,195 --> 00:39:27,073 j“ but you keep going back 576 00:39:27,156 --> 00:39:31,327 j“ it's driving you insane 577 00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:45,049 J“ drift into the treacle deep 578 00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:49,345 j“ slip into its silent depths go to sleep 579 00:39:49,429 --> 00:39:54,225 j“ with your everything akimbo 580 00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:59,731 j“ float into the sandman's limbo 581 00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:02,066 - j“ night, night - j“ night, night 582 00:40:02,150 --> 00:40:04,319 j“ it's time for bye-byes 583 00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:09,699 j“ it's been a great day thanks a heap 584 00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:11,743 j“ now it's time 585 00:40:11,826 --> 00:40:14,162 j“ for everyone 586 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:19,542 j“ to go to sleep 587 00:40:19,626 --> 00:40:21,669 J“ night, night 588 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:24,255 j“ it's time for bye-byes 589 00:40:24,339 --> 00:40:29,302 j“ it's been a great day thanks a heap 590 00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:31,679 j“ now it's time 591 00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,140 j“ for everyone 592 00:40:34,223 --> 00:40:38,227 j“ to go to sleep j“ 593 00:40:57,372 --> 00:41:01,084 "He went like one that hath been stunned, 594 00:41:01,209 --> 00:41:05,463 "and is of sense forlorn. 595 00:41:05,546 --> 00:41:09,634 "A sadder and a wiser man, 596 00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:12,178 he Rose the morrow morn." 597 00:41:16,265 --> 00:41:19,936 Does this bird belong to you? 598 00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:45,378 Janet? 599 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,513 Are you decent, Janet? 600 00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:10,737 Hoopla, Bert! 601 00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:13,740 Nice to see you up and about. 602 00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:16,701 - Mac's waiting in the wardrobe, Janet. - Uh-huh. 603 00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:20,621 Care to join me in an on-set snack? 604 00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:54,113 Good morning. 605 00:42:58,451 --> 00:43:00,703 I wanna see Brad. 606 00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:06,375 Look at yourself. You're beautiful. 607 00:43:06,459 --> 00:43:10,880 The most desirable creature that ever walked. 608 00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:16,844 Oh, if only Brad could have found it within himself to say those things to me. 609 00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:21,641 He will, but it's up to you to reawaken his feelings. 610 00:43:21,724 --> 00:43:24,519 Farley's given you that chance. 611 00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,938 You can use the breakfast show... 612 00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:29,565 To knock denton dead. 613 00:43:31,150 --> 00:43:33,277 Do you really think so? 614 00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:35,363 Everybody needs you. 615 00:43:38,533 --> 00:43:42,370 - Hmm. But what'll I do? What'll I say? - Hmm? 616 00:43:42,662 --> 00:43:44,622 - What'll I wear? - Ah. 617 00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:51,921 J“ ever since I was a little boy 618 00:43:52,004 --> 00:43:56,801 j“ dressing up has always been my greatest joy 619 00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,720 j“ but when it's time to be discreet 620 00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:03,141 j“ there's one thing you just can't beat 621 00:44:03,266 --> 00:44:07,353 j“ and that's a strapless backless, classical little black dress 622 00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:10,523 j“ well, first you go HP, np, np 623 00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:12,942 j“ then you go snip, snip, snip 624 00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:15,361 j“ then you whip in a zip, zip, zip 625 00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:18,406 j“ and split it up to the hip, hip, hip 626 00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:21,659 j“ and as you strip, strip, strip 627 00:44:21,742 --> 00:44:24,745 j“ you shiver and quiver 628 00:44:24,829 --> 00:44:26,873 j“ for that soft caress 629 00:44:26,956 --> 00:44:31,460 j“ as you slip, slip, slip into that little black dress 630 00:44:32,879 --> 00:44:35,882 j“ ever since I was the ein kleiner herren 631 00:44:35,965 --> 00:44:40,261 j“ it was the cordon bleu for which I am most carin' 632 00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:44,223 j“ and the one taste treat so sweet 633 00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:47,059 j“ that really can't be beat 634 00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:51,230 j“ is what we have, ja, how you are, caviar that little black mess 635 00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:55,026 - et voila'! - But how? 636 00:44:55,151 --> 00:44:58,571 J“ well, first you go HP, np, np 637 00:44:58,654 --> 00:45:00,698 j“ then you go snip, snip, snip 638 00:45:00,823 --> 00:45:03,451 j“ then you whip in a zip, zip, zip 639 00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:06,037 j“ and split it up to the hip, hip, hip 640 00:45:06,162 --> 00:45:08,414 j“ and as you strip, strip, strip 641 00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:12,251 j“ oh, you quiver and shiver 642 00:45:12,335 --> 00:45:14,212 j“ for that soft caress 643 00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:20,051 j“ as you slip, slip, slip into that little black dress 644 00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:23,304 - j“ that minimal - J“ minimal 645 00:45:23,429 --> 00:45:25,765 - j“ criminal - j“ criminal 646 00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:29,518 j“ cynical little black dress 647 00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:34,482 J“ let's face it, Mac that basic black is coming back 648 00:45:36,692 --> 00:45:40,571 j“ let's face it, Mac that basic black is coming back 649 00:45:40,696 --> 00:45:45,243 j“ let's face it, Mac that basic black is coming back 650 00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:49,330 - j“ that minimal - j“ minimal 651 00:45:49,413 --> 00:45:52,083 - j“ criminal - j“ criminal 652 00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:55,836 - j“ cynical - J“ little black dress j“ 653 00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:59,757 Good morning, denton. Rise and shine. 654 00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:03,052 She'll be here any second now. So let's give her a great big hand. 655 00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:05,137 Come on now. 656 00:46:11,477 --> 00:46:14,438 J“ 657 00:46:21,362 --> 00:46:25,366 Oh, Janet, I can't tell you how excited I am... for you. 658 00:46:25,449 --> 00:46:28,536 We've got the band and dancers and dry ice standing by. 659 00:46:28,619 --> 00:46:32,290 Betty hapschatt is indisposed, so Macy will have to do the introductions. 660 00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:34,375 I don't need introductions. 661 00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:38,421 The fabulous, the golden... 662 00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:40,965 The very wonderful... 663 00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:42,693 - I knew it! - J“ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet 664 00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:46,262 - I knew it! - J“ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet 665 00:46:47,888 --> 00:46:51,809 j“ there's just the two of me 666 00:46:51,892 --> 00:46:56,689 j“ alone at last together 667 00:46:56,772 --> 00:47:01,402 j“ we've got the luck so far 668 00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:04,947 j“ we are my lucky star 669 00:47:05,031 --> 00:47:09,035 Star, star, star, star, star, star, star, star. 670 00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:13,039 J“ 671 00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:21,505 J“ deep in the heart of me 672 00:47:21,589 --> 00:47:25,343 j“ I love every part of me 673 00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:29,013 j“ all I can see in me 674 00:47:29,096 --> 00:47:32,600 j“ is the danger and ecstasy 675 00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:37,146 j“ yeah, one thing there couldn't be 676 00:47:37,229 --> 00:47:41,442 j“ is any more me in me 677 00:47:41,525 --> 00:47:44,987 j“ this is the me of me 678 00:47:45,112 --> 00:47:48,991 j“ me, me, me 679 00:47:49,075 --> 00:47:52,870 j“ me, me 680 00:47:52,953 --> 00:47:56,874 j“ me, me, me 681 00:47:56,957 --> 00:47:59,168 j“ me, me, me 682 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:06,550 J“ I am my destiny 683 00:48:06,634 --> 00:48:08,969 j“ 684 00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:14,058 J“ I'd never lie to me 685 00:48:14,141 --> 00:48:18,187 j“ I'd be willing to die pour moi 686 00:48:18,270 --> 00:48:21,399 j“ I'll pray every day to me 687 00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:25,736 j“ and here's what I'd say to me 688 00:48:25,861 --> 00:48:29,907 j“ this is the me of me 689 00:48:29,990 --> 00:48:34,328 j“ me, me, me< 690 00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:37,665 j“ me, me 691 00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:41,460 j“ me, me, me 692 00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:44,547 j“ me, me, me 693 00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:47,591 - J“ me, me, me - aah! 694 00:48:47,716 --> 00:48:51,053 J“ ooh, me, me - 695 00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:53,764 - J“ me, me, me - yeah! 696 00:48:53,889 --> 00:48:57,768 J“ whoa, me, me - 697 00:48:57,893 --> 00:49:01,647 J“ look at me 698 00:49:01,730 --> 00:49:03,607 j“ moi, moi j“ 699 00:49:07,194 --> 00:49:09,321 ah! 700 00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:12,408 Janet! Janet! 701 00:49:12,491 --> 00:49:14,952 Janefl 702 00:49:23,043 --> 00:49:26,213 And you can see and hear Janet tonight 703 00:49:26,297 --> 00:49:30,301 on faith factory, brought to you by farley flavours. 704 00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:32,928 All right, Janet. 705 00:49:33,012 --> 00:49:36,182 - You were far out. - Terrific. 706 00:49:38,851 --> 00:49:41,270 Out of self came selflessness! 707 00:49:41,353 --> 00:49:44,523 You revealed yourself, the real you, the secret you. 708 00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:47,610 - And you liked what you saw, didn't you, Janet? - Well, I must say... 709 00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:51,864 - How's Brad? - Well, if he caught my act, he'll be iookin' good. 710 00:49:54,909 --> 00:49:58,829 It seems I'm his medicine, so we're off to give him another spoonful. 711 00:49:58,913 --> 00:50:02,249 Check you later, Betty. I gotta freshen up. 712 00:50:08,464 --> 00:50:12,051 Hey, how about that? Janet was a knockout! 713 00:50:12,134 --> 00:50:14,303 - Thank you. - Yeah, she was terrific. 714 00:50:14,386 --> 00:50:17,056 - Sexy! - What? 715 00:50:18,390 --> 00:50:20,851 At the same time fresh, untouched, you know. 716 00:50:20,935 --> 00:50:24,146 - Hey, how's Brad? - He's fine. 717 00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,899 Lucky dog, with a pretty girl like that for a wife. 718 00:50:26,982 --> 00:50:31,695 Yeah, he sure is. No sugar. Thanks, kirk. 719 00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:35,032 Well, I'll sugar his daughter's... 720 00:50:35,115 --> 00:50:38,160 Coffee, kirk. I'm dying for it. 721 00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:41,872 R.i.p., Betty. You're off the air. 722 00:50:43,415 --> 00:50:47,002 What's happening here? Janet's on the breakfast show... 723 00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:51,257 Brad's committed to a nowhere series, and we've been... 724 00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:53,551 Written out? 725 00:50:53,676 --> 00:50:56,929 - J“ - 'Dentonvale. 726 00:50:58,973 --> 00:51:02,351 'The mission of mercy. 727 00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:06,188 'Starring the increasingly popular Janet majors.' 728 00:51:06,272 --> 00:51:08,482 hi, mommy. Hi, daddy. 729 00:51:08,607 --> 00:51:13,529 Hi, Brad. I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 730 00:51:13,654 --> 00:51:17,157 Janet, where's that lovely dress I made you? 731 00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:20,536 Oh, macjust whipped up this little crowd-pleaser. 732 00:51:20,619 --> 00:51:22,871 Well, you're practically naked! 733 00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:26,250 I can't wear anything under it, daddy. It would spoil the line. 734 00:51:28,711 --> 00:51:33,549 My god, Janet. How can you say such things? Look at Brad. Look what they've done to him. 735 00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:37,177 - Ah. Janet's parents? - Are you the doctor? 736 00:51:37,261 --> 00:51:39,555 - Yes. - There's gonna have to be an investigation. 737 00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:43,267 - There are regulations about this sort of thing. - It's for his own good. 738 00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:48,731 - Hoopla, Janet! - Bert! Sweetheart! Oh, it's fabulous! 739 00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:53,360 - What's going on here? - You're wearing your black. 740 00:51:53,485 --> 00:51:57,364 - Yes, of course. - I adore that colour. 741 00:51:57,489 --> 00:52:01,327 Patient was in great danger of doing himself a mischief. 742 00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:05,122 We only want what's best for him. As parents, you must understand. 743 00:52:05,247 --> 00:52:07,416 No. No, I don't! 744 00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:11,754 Brad doesn't need to be trussed up like a Turkey. There are drugs to keep him quiet. 745 00:52:11,837 --> 00:52:15,007 - We used them. All of them. - And none of them worked? 746 00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:17,259 - No. - Then double the strength. 747 00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,428 - We did. - We know our job. 748 00:52:19,553 --> 00:52:24,433 We also know how you feel. We're not strangers to confusion. 749 00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:30,397 - 'We're not confused.' - 'Well, I am, goddamn it!' 750 00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:33,651 you trust Brad with this crowd-pleaser? 751 00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:36,987 - J“ - Ooh. 752 00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:43,994 J“ I'm not a locum with motive to suture myself 753 00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:47,164 j“ I've been a cynic for too many years 754 00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:50,793 j“ playing doctor and nurse it can be good for your health 755 00:52:50,918 --> 00:52:56,215 j“ I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in tangiers 756 00:52:57,716 --> 00:53:00,636 j“ but if you open your heart to a smooth operator 757 00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:04,765 j“ he'll take you for all that you've got 758 00:53:04,890 --> 00:53:09,311 j“ he'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later 759 00:53:09,436 --> 00:53:12,022 j“ it'll shake you the way he takes off 760 00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,650 j“ like a shot 761 00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:17,653 - j“ you need a bit of - J“ ooh, shock treatment 762 00:53:17,736 --> 00:53:20,739 j“ gets you jumping like a real live wire 763 00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:24,868 - j“ you need a bit of - j“ ooh, shock treatment 764 00:53:24,993 --> 00:53:28,080 j“ so look out, mister don't you blow your last resistor 765 00:53:28,163 --> 00:53:31,583 j“ for a vista that'll mystify ya 766 00:53:33,585 --> 00:53:37,297 j“ you're blinded by romance you're blinded by science 767 00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:40,718 j“ your condition is critically grave 768 00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:44,805 j“ but don't expect mercy from such an alliance 769 00:53:44,888 --> 00:53:50,352 j“ suspicion of tradition's so new wave 770 00:53:50,436 --> 00:53:53,939 - J“ you need a bit of - j“ ooh, shock treatment 771 00:53:54,064 --> 00:53:56,942 j“ gets you jumping like a real live wire 772 00:53:57,067 --> 00:54:00,821 - j“ you need a bit of - j“ ooh, shock treatment 773 00:54:00,946 --> 00:54:04,199 j“ so look out, mister don't you blow your last resistor 774 00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:08,287 j“ for a sister that'll certify ya 775 00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:12,249 - J“ you need a bit of - j“ ooh, shock treatment 776 00:54:12,374 --> 00:54:15,002 j“ gets you jumping like a real live wire 777 00:54:15,127 --> 00:54:19,298 - j“ you need a bit of - j“ ooh, shock treatment 778 00:54:19,423 --> 00:54:22,259 j“ so look out, mister don't you blow your last resistor 779 00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:28,265 j“ for a sister that'll certify ya j“ 780 00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:31,143 Aha! 781 00:54:34,146 --> 00:54:38,108 Look at that! Bert schnick's dancing! 782 00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:46,283 - Bert can see! - Macabre, isn't it? 783 00:54:46,408 --> 00:54:49,495 The blind< leading the blind. 784 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,087 - Welcome to the faith factory rehearsal. - Thank you. 785 00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:02,341 - We're all really excited about tonight. - Oh. 786 00:55:02,424 --> 00:55:07,095 - Oh, do I get one of those? - Oh, yes, yes, of course you do. 787 00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:11,141 Janet? Janet? Janet? 788 00:55:12,601 --> 00:55:17,397 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 789 00:55:17,523 --> 00:55:19,691 Oh, really? 790 00:55:19,775 --> 00:55:23,445 Macy, why don't you take Janet and help her freshen up before the rehearsal? 791 00:55:23,529 --> 00:55:26,490 Surely. 792 00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:32,913 Ralph. You promised me an introduction. 793 00:55:32,996 --> 00:55:35,040 Later, Francine. 794 00:55:35,123 --> 00:55:37,417 Frankie! 795 00:55:38,460 --> 00:55:42,673 Bert, could you spare a moment? 796 00:55:42,756 --> 00:55:45,634 Of course. 797 00:55:45,759 --> 00:55:48,303 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 798 00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:51,974 - Janet! Janet! We want Janet! - Janet, a quick word. 799 00:55:52,057 --> 00:55:56,144 Could you tell our viewers what exactly you will be representing tonight? 800 00:55:56,228 --> 00:55:59,147 - Sanity for today. - Wow! 801 00:55:59,231 --> 00:56:01,942 And that's the word from Janet majors, 802 00:56:02,025 --> 00:56:04,236 dtv's newest star. 803 00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:06,321 Okay, guys, let's move on. 804 00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:09,032 - How's Brad? - He's a wreck. 805 00:56:09,116 --> 00:56:13,453 - Check. The quacks are willing tools? - Ah, the quacks are fools. 806 00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:17,708 You know, I wouldn't mind doing Janet one or two favours. 807 00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:20,627 It's time to check with flavours. 808 00:56:23,338 --> 00:56:27,009 Shoot. 809 00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:36,351 Is there anything else you'd like, Janet? 810 00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:41,106 Yeah, a new carpet. I hate the colour. Don't you? 811 00:56:41,189 --> 00:56:44,693 It's only one night, Janet. 812 00:56:44,776 --> 00:56:47,905 - Don't forget who we're doing this for. - Who? 813 00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:50,324 Brad. 814 00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:55,579 You know, I'm getting awfully sick of hearing about that emotional cripple. 815 00:56:55,662 --> 00:57:00,542 I've got a lot going for me, you know. I'm going places. I'm gonna be someone. 816 00:57:00,626 --> 00:57:03,545 I'm gonna win my way into the lives and hearts of the people 817 00:57:03,629 --> 00:57:07,257 even if! Have to kill to do it. 818 00:57:07,341 --> 00:57:10,802 I'll make the pathetic little crumbs love me. 819 00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:16,642 I don't even know why I'm wasting my time here with you. 820 00:57:16,725 --> 00:57:18,685 I should be with my people. 821 00:57:18,810 --> 00:57:21,980 'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!' 822 00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:24,024 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 823 00:57:24,107 --> 00:57:26,318 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 824 00:57:26,401 --> 00:57:29,363 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 825 00:57:29,488 --> 00:57:31,531 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 826 00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:35,369 Hey, Janet! 827 00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:37,996 - Girl, you're great! - Oh, thanks. 828 00:57:38,121 --> 00:57:40,916 - Hi. My name's Frankie. - Francine! 829 00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:43,752 And I think you're beautiful. 830 00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:51,927 Hi, I'm Brenda. This is my brother Oscar, and this is our friend, glish davison. 831 00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:56,682 Janet, we really enjoyed doing the breakfast show with you. 832 00:57:58,892 --> 00:58:03,021 This is Janet. She's a phenomenon. 833 00:58:03,146 --> 00:58:06,149 J“ so if you're looking for a standard to which you can aspire 834 00:58:06,274 --> 00:58:08,568 j“ then, baby 835 00:58:08,694 --> 00:58:12,990 j“ look at me whoa-oh 836 00:58:14,658 --> 00:58:17,828 - j“ look at me j“ - all right! 837 00:58:22,541 --> 00:58:24,918 I think you need a little rest. 838 00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:28,046 You've got a big night ahead of you. 839 00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:32,217 Your clothes are real neat. 840 00:58:32,342 --> 00:58:34,678 'Reminder. Wardrobe check...' 841 00:58:34,803 --> 00:58:39,057 'We want Janet! Janet! Janet! We want Janet!' 842 00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:41,852 Aren't they great? 843 00:58:41,935 --> 00:58:43,895 But getting back to faith factory, 844 00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:46,982 all in all, it looks like an exciting new series for us. 845 00:58:47,065 --> 00:58:49,818 Yes, and an attractive financial prospect for denton. 846 00:58:49,901 --> 00:58:53,905 - And fashion-wise? - What did I tell you? 847 00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:57,993 Well, I can just say that faith factory will be introducing a new look 848 00:58:58,076 --> 00:59:02,497 that will show off one or two old faces in an exciting new light. 849 00:59:02,622 --> 00:59:06,251 - Really? Sounds interesting. - Did you hear that, Oliver? 850 00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:10,672 Yes, Betty. But the false promise of a new dawn 851 00:59:10,797 --> 00:59:15,302 usually leads to a most bloody sunset. 852 00:59:15,427 --> 00:59:19,681 No, I don't know what Janet's next move will be, but you can be sure of one thing. 853 00:59:19,765 --> 00:59:24,728 - It all starts right here. - Thank you. 854 00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:28,440 And that's the word from Ralph hapschatt... 855 00:59:28,523 --> 00:59:30,442 And Macy struthers. 856 00:59:30,525 --> 00:59:32,778 'Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 857 00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:35,489 'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!' 858 00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,491 - oh, Oliver! - Hmm? 859 00:59:37,574 --> 00:59:39,576 What are we going to do? 860 00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:42,704 Care to indulge? 861 00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:45,165 - Indulge? - Mm-hmm. 862 00:59:45,248 --> 00:59:48,001 - In a little, um, masquerade? - 'Final reminder.' 863 00:59:48,085 --> 00:59:50,462 - oh. - 'Wardrobe check for faith factory medical outfits. 864 00:59:50,545 --> 00:59:53,381 'Wardrobe check for faith factory medical outfits.' 865 00:59:53,507 --> 00:59:56,927 - j“ - 'Dentonvale. 866 00:59:57,052 --> 00:59:59,221 'Parental predicament.' 867 00:59:59,304 --> 01:00:01,264 oh, Harry, what are we gonna do? 868 01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:04,142 I don't know, Emily. I'm worried. 869 01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:08,438 Maybe I could wear those black leather brogues. 870 01:00:08,522 --> 01:00:12,400 Too flashy. They'll clash with the new outfits. 871 01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:17,405 It's all right, Brad, dear. 872 01:00:17,489 --> 01:00:19,449 Have another sedative. 873 01:00:22,244 --> 01:00:24,621 We'll miss you on the show tonight. 874 01:00:27,290 --> 01:00:30,669 Don't worry, Brad. I'll be back. 875 01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:36,424 - What about those Italian loafers I bought in Hawaii? - Mmm. 876 01:00:43,765 --> 01:00:47,936 I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 877 01:01:01,491 --> 01:01:05,370 Face it, Janet. Brad's an emotional cripple. 878 01:01:09,374 --> 01:01:12,794 - Quite frankly... - He hates you. 879 01:01:17,215 --> 01:01:19,801 'Time's tight, Janet. 880 01:01:19,885 --> 01:01:22,637 'Do it right, Janet. 881 01:01:22,721 --> 01:01:24,890 'Until tonight... 882 01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:28,018 'Janet' 883 01:01:31,938 --> 01:01:35,150 I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 884 01:01:35,275 --> 01:01:37,435 I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 885 01:01:42,282 --> 01:01:45,160 J“ out on a cul-de-sac 886 01:01:46,870 --> 01:01:49,789 j“ and I gotta go back 887 01:01:51,625 --> 01:01:54,586 j“ so come on, feet 888 01:01:55,712 --> 01:01:58,757 j“ we gotta hit the street 889 01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:04,888 j“ we've got it made 890 01:02:04,971 --> 01:02:07,307 j“ I'm looking for trade 891 01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:12,604 j“ I'm lookin' for love 892 01:02:13,647 --> 01:02:15,941 j“ I'm lookin' for trade 893 01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:22,572 j“ I need some young blood I need some young blood 894 01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:24,908 j“ I need it now 895 01:02:26,826 --> 01:02:31,456 j“ I need some young blood I need some young blood 896 01:02:31,539 --> 01:02:34,584 j“ and we're gonna get it somehow 897 01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:38,880 j“ I'm on a dead-end street 898 01:02:40,757 --> 01:02:43,301 j“ I'm like a dog in the heat 899 01:02:45,136 --> 01:02:49,099 j“ I'm like a kid with no toys 900 01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:53,436 j“ I wanna get those boys 901 01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:58,316 j“ oh, I can't be delayed 902 01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:01,152 j“ I'm looking for trade 903 01:03:03,196 --> 01:03:06,992 j“ I'm lookin' for love 904 01:03:07,075 --> 01:03:09,619 j“ I'm looking for trade 905 01:03:12,163 --> 01:03:16,751 J“ oh, we're all iivin' like there's no tomorrow 906 01:03:16,835 --> 01:03:20,755 j“ and the way things are going that's probably true 907 01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:24,592 j“ but without you and me, sis the world would fall to pieces 908 01:03:24,718 --> 01:03:27,345 j“ vena cava who's the raver 909 01:03:27,429 --> 01:03:29,806 j“ our raving saviour that's you 910 01:03:32,017 --> 01:03:34,644 j“ I'm on the primrose path 911 01:03:36,396 --> 01:03:39,065 j“ I'm looking for a laugh 912 01:03:40,859 --> 01:03:44,029 j“ remember, it's no fun 913 01:03:45,196 --> 01:03:48,158 j“ to be the chosen one 914 01:03:49,576 --> 01:03:52,704 j“ there are games to be played 915 01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:56,958 j“ looking for trade 916 01:03:58,793 --> 01:04:02,380 j“ I'm looking for love 917 01:04:02,505 --> 01:04:05,258 j“ I'm looking for trade 918 01:04:07,761 --> 01:04:11,806 j“ I need some young blood I need some young blood 919 01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:13,975 j“ and I need it now 920 01:04:14,059 --> 01:04:16,061 j'oh 921 01:04:16,144 --> 01:04:20,732 j“ I need some young blood I need some young blood 922 01:04:20,815 --> 01:04:23,693 j“ and I'm gonna get it somehow 923 01:04:23,777 --> 01:04:25,862 j“ I'm looking for trade j“ 924 01:04:25,945 --> 01:04:28,281 'Janet, Janet! We want Janet! 925 01:04:28,406 --> 01:04:32,952 - 'Janet, Janet! We want Janet!' - Janet? Janet? 926 01:04:33,078 --> 01:04:35,663 Wake up, Janet. 927 01:04:35,789 --> 01:04:40,794 You've got guests. You can come in now. 928 01:04:42,545 --> 01:04:45,215 - Hi, Janet. - How are you feeling? 929 01:04:45,340 --> 01:04:47,425 Who are you? 930 01:04:47,550 --> 01:04:51,429 - The band. - Do you have any friends? 931 01:04:51,554 --> 01:04:54,015 Sure. 932 01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:56,142 You won't have soon. 933 01:04:58,144 --> 01:05:00,855 What are you called, yourband? 934 01:05:00,980 --> 01:05:03,566 Oscar drill and the bits. 935 01:05:18,289 --> 01:05:23,628 Betty, it's imperative we get Janet out of farley's fast fingers 936 01:05:23,711 --> 01:05:28,633 and Brad out of that hellhole before they both disappear forever. 937 01:05:28,716 --> 01:05:31,219 I don't mind telling you, Oliver... 938 01:05:31,302 --> 01:05:33,930 I'm not looking forward to this. 939 01:05:34,013 --> 01:05:36,224 If only I could place that name. 940 01:05:36,307 --> 01:05:40,061 - McKinley. - There was a president. 941 01:05:40,145 --> 01:05:42,397 President? 942 01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:45,400 Past presidents. 943 01:05:45,483 --> 01:05:48,611 Betty, this is beginning to add up. 944 01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:51,281 Really? 945 01:05:51,364 --> 01:05:53,408 What'll I pin this on? 946 01:05:53,491 --> 01:05:55,493 Faith, Betty. 947 01:05:57,328 --> 01:06:00,623 But make sure it's your own. 948 01:06:04,377 --> 01:06:06,379 In a hurry, Mr. Flavours? 949 01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:09,424 There's a little lady he doesn't wanna keep waiting. 950 01:06:09,507 --> 01:06:13,011 - And a date. - Who with, Mr. Flavours? 951 01:06:15,513 --> 01:06:17,515 The past. 952 01:06:19,225 --> 01:06:22,353 J“ 953 01:06:24,647 --> 01:06:27,817 J“ like a virgin with an urgin' in a surgery 954 01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:31,237 j“ I'll be swingin' I'll be bringing out the nurse in me 955 01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:34,365 j“ the art will start when I play my part 956 01:06:34,449 --> 01:06:37,577 j“ as a healer who will steal your heart 957 01:06:37,660 --> 01:06:41,831 j“ oh, look what I did to my ID 958 01:06:44,042 --> 01:06:48,213 j“ oh, look what I did to my ID 959 01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:53,468 j“ with neurosis in profusion 960 01:06:53,551 --> 01:06:56,971 j“ and psychosis in your soul 961 01:06:57,055 --> 01:07:00,141 j“ eliminate confusion 962 01:07:00,225 --> 01:07:06,147 j“ and hide inside a brand-new role 963 01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:10,235 j“ like a good-time girl I'm gonna try some new tricks 964 01:07:10,318 --> 01:07:13,112 j“ this could be the start of a whole new career 965 01:07:13,196 --> 01:07:16,366 j“ got a deep plum lipstick and some therapeutics 966 01:07:16,449 --> 01:07:19,202 j“ this could take us to a town that's nowhere near here 967 01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:23,081 j“ got the hot flush symptoms and I'm feelin' sneaky 968 01:07:23,164 --> 01:07:25,708 j“ young male intern tall and handsome 969 01:07:25,792 --> 01:07:29,212 j“ got my hem so high they'll say I'm being cheeky 970 01:07:29,295 --> 01:07:32,715 j“ with legs like mine I'm really made for dancin' 971 01:07:34,926 --> 01:07:37,095 j“ whoa-oh-oh 972 01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:40,265 j“ hey, hey, hey 973 01:07:45,186 --> 01:07:48,523 j“ when heaven's in the music 974 01:07:48,606 --> 01:07:51,734 j“ hell is in control 975 01:07:51,818 --> 01:07:54,362 j“ the angels got the voices 976 01:07:54,445 --> 01:07:59,909 j“ but the devil's got the rock and roll 977 01:08:01,578 --> 01:08:04,372 j“ we may look like we're phony medics 978 01:08:04,455 --> 01:08:07,458 j“ but we took our look from a book by fredericks 979 01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:12,839 j“ oh, look what I did to my ID, kid 980 01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:18,052 j“ look what I did to my ID j“ 981 01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:19,196 - Oh, Brad. - He's an emotional cripple, remember? 982 01:08:19,220 --> 01:08:22,390 - Oh, Brad. - He's an emotional cripple, remember? 983 01:08:22,473 --> 01:08:24,767 Even he wouldn't like to see you like this. 984 01:08:24,851 --> 01:08:28,563 Ralph, I need a final statement from her, and if I don't get it, there's gonna be trouble. 985 01:08:28,646 --> 01:08:31,399 - Later, neely, okay? - Ralph! 986 01:08:31,482 --> 01:08:34,193 How is she? 987 01:08:34,319 --> 01:08:36,696 Well, come on. Farley's expecting her any minute. 988 01:08:36,821 --> 01:08:39,240 You guys get your asses in front of those cameras, 989 01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:42,076 and try and earn yourselves a reputation, okay? 990 01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,078 Well, move! 991 01:08:44,203 --> 01:08:46,456 We just wanna ask a few questions. 992 01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,419 These are for you, Janet. 993 01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:53,546 They'll make you feel a whole lot better. 994 01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:55,548 Yeah. 995 01:08:59,552 --> 01:09:01,554 Amateurs. 996 01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:09,103 - 'Give us a "j"!' - 'J!' 997 01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:15,526 - give us a "t"!' - 'T!' 998 01:09:15,610 --> 01:09:18,613 we can't hear you! 999 01:09:18,696 --> 01:09:21,115 - Give us a "j"! - J! 1000 01:09:50,895 --> 01:09:54,565 Oh, my god. Character actors. 1001 01:09:54,691 --> 01:09:56,776 'Ladies and gentlemen... 1002 01:09:56,859 --> 01:10:00,154 'The studio band will soon< be here to entertain you 1003 01:10:00,238 --> 01:10:04,158 'in anticipation of tonight's premiere taping 1004 01:10:04,242 --> 01:10:07,495 of farley flavours' faith factory.' 1005 01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:24,262 And so if you're a follower of exotic trends in fashion, 1006 01:10:24,345 --> 01:10:27,265 you'll find plenty to keep you going here tonight. 1007 01:10:27,348 --> 01:10:29,392 And, naturally, feeling the excitement, 1008 01:10:29,475 --> 01:10:32,019 and not wishing to stick out like a sore thumb, 1009 01:10:32,103 --> 01:10:35,106 I had to get a little outfit of my own together. 1010 01:10:35,189 --> 01:10:38,025 And this... 1011 01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:40,069 Is it. 1012 01:10:57,128 --> 01:10:59,130 'Ladies and gentlemen...' 1013 01:10:59,255 --> 01:11:01,799 to help get you in the mood for faith factory... 1014 01:11:01,924 --> 01:11:06,888 Dtv proudly presents denton's own... 1015 01:11:06,971 --> 01:11:10,767 With a suburban garage sound. 1016 01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,937 Let's hear it for Oscar drill and the bits! 1017 01:11:15,062 --> 01:11:16,773 Oh, Oliver. 1018 01:11:16,898 --> 01:11:19,734 This is one time charity didn't begin at home. 1019 01:11:19,817 --> 01:11:21,097 'One, two, three, four!' 1020 01:11:21,944 --> 01:11:24,822 j“ 1021 01:11:28,159 --> 01:11:33,414 J“ I know how it feels to be coolin' my heels 1022 01:11:33,498 --> 01:11:36,751 j“ I've been down on them long enough 1023 01:11:37,877 --> 01:11:41,464 j“ but if I take to them now 1024 01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:44,550 j“ then maybe somehow 1025 01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:46,677 j“ you'll see through the bluff 1026 01:11:46,761 --> 01:11:48,846 j“ of my playin' it tough 1027 01:11:51,098 --> 01:11:53,476 J“ I've been a lifetime on deposit 1028 01:11:53,601 --> 01:11:56,395 j“ and that's a long time in the closet 1029 01:11:56,521 --> 01:11:59,106 - j“ and if you say to me - j“ how was it 1030 01:11:59,190 --> 01:12:02,443 j“ it was hard takin' that heartbreakin' 1031 01:12:02,527 --> 01:12:05,071 j“ godforsaken route but I'm... j“ 1032 01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:08,074 J“ buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh - j“ breakin' out 1033 01:12:09,450 --> 01:12:11,452 whoo! 1034 01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:15,248 J“ you may say that you choose 1035 01:12:15,373 --> 01:12:18,292 j“ to be in my shoes 1036 01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:21,921 j“ but look what it did for me 1037 01:12:23,714 --> 01:12:26,843 j“ I got buried alive 1038 01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:29,887 j“ I don't thrive on that jive 1039 01:12:30,012 --> 01:12:31,931 j“ look and you'll see 1040 01:12:32,056 --> 01:12:34,267 j“ that my spikes don't fit me 1041 01:12:35,810 --> 01:12:38,729 j“ I've been a lifetime on deposit 1042 01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:41,274 j“ and that's a long time in the closet 1043 01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:43,985 - j“ and if you say to me - j“ how was it 1044 01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:47,530 j“ it was hard takin' that heartbreakin'j'< 1045 01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:50,032 j“ godforsaken route 1046 01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:52,577 - j“ but I'm-j“ - j“ buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh 1047 01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:54,662 - j“ breakin' out - where are we goin'? 1048 01:12:54,745 --> 01:12:57,665 To a family reunion. 1049 01:12:57,790 --> 01:12:59,458 J“ breakin' out 1050 01:12:59,584 --> 01:13:02,336 - breakin' out! - J“ breakin' out 1051 01:13:02,461 --> 01:13:05,006 j“ breakin' out j“ 1052 01:13:18,352 --> 01:13:22,815 And she represents everything our customers want. 1053 01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:24,859 Innocence... 1054 01:13:24,942 --> 01:13:26,986 Decency... 1055 01:13:27,069 --> 01:13:29,030 And the illusion of a happy ending. 1056 01:13:29,113 --> 01:13:32,074 Oh, jolly good, Mr. Flavours. 1057 01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:38,456 And behind her image, take-away therapy will thrive 1058 01:13:38,539 --> 01:13:43,669 under the capable hands of two great ethical intellects 1059 01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,047 operating on the frontiers of medical science. 1060 01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:48,049 - Huh? Huh? - Mac and nation. 1061 01:13:48,132 --> 01:13:50,051 Mac and nation. Yes. Great work. 1062 01:13:50,134 --> 01:13:53,346 And under the firm guidance 1063 01:13:53,429 --> 01:13:56,682 of a great survivor 1064 01:13:56,766 --> 01:13:59,644 in the treacherous sea of diplomacy, 1065 01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:01,729 our own Bert schnick. 1066 01:14:01,812 --> 01:14:04,357 Huh? 1067 01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:07,151 - Now let's get this show on the road! - Hey! 1068 01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:14,575 Mr. Flavours, may I have a moment of your time? 1069 01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:17,578 Sure thing. 1070 01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:22,833 We've heard rumours that you're going to unveil more than just a new series tonight. 1071 01:14:22,917 --> 01:14:25,378 - Is this true? - Absolutely correct. 1072 01:14:25,461 --> 01:14:28,756 Could you tell us a little more about it? 1073 01:14:28,839 --> 01:14:31,008 Well, let just say... 1074 01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:35,763 We're planning on putting sanity back on the national menu. 1075 01:14:35,846 --> 01:14:39,308 And how does local girl Janet majors 1076 01:14:39,392 --> 01:14:42,353 fit into the scheme of things? 1077 01:14:46,273 --> 01:14:48,192 Very... 1078 01:14:48,275 --> 01:14:50,236 Nicely. 1079 01:14:55,574 --> 01:14:57,576 Brad? 1080 01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:01,497 And he's resented you all these years. 1081 01:15:01,580 --> 01:15:04,458 - And Janet? - She represents everything he was denied. 1082 01:15:06,585 --> 01:15:12,341 'By satellite, farley flavours' faith factory.' 1083 01:15:12,466 --> 01:15:14,802 ladies and gentlemen... 1084 01:15:14,885 --> 01:15:17,888 Denton's own, america's pride... 1085 01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:20,349 The world's example... 1086 01:15:20,474 --> 01:15:23,185 Janet, the sensation of the planet. 1087 01:15:23,310 --> 01:15:28,733 We bring you miss mental health. 1088 01:15:28,858 --> 01:15:33,446 J“ 1089 01:15:38,242 --> 01:15:40,786 Isn't she lovely? 1090 01:15:42,079 --> 01:15:44,623 Mommy and daddy love you, baby! 1091 01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:48,335 - She walks in beauty. - That's my little girl! 1092 01:15:48,461 --> 01:15:51,005 J“ 1093 01:15:54,925 --> 01:15:57,178 'Attagirl, Janet!' 1094 01:15:57,261 --> 01:15:59,889 'We love you, baby!' 1095 01:16:04,435 --> 01:16:06,479 'We all love Janet.' 1096 01:16:06,604 --> 01:16:09,315 - who do we love? - 'Janet!' 1097 01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:12,151 Janet! 1098 01:16:12,234 --> 01:16:16,113 The dress Janet's wearing has been given by creme de la creme modes of downtown denton, 1099 01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:20,493 and we've been asked that you take note of the individual styling and exquisite tailoring. 1100 01:16:20,618 --> 01:16:24,330 This is just one of the many gifts so freely and generously given to Janet. 1101 01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:28,918 The first of, we hope, many. Miss mental health. 1102 01:16:36,217 --> 01:16:39,428 Ladies and gentlemen, the president. 1103 01:16:39,553 --> 01:16:41,722 - J“ - The president's here! 1104 01:16:41,806 --> 01:16:43,766 Zoom in there. 1105 01:16:54,693 --> 01:17:00,241 Hi, I'm irwin lapsey, president of lapsey autos. 1106 01:17:01,659 --> 01:17:05,162 And I'm holding in my hand here some keys. 1107 01:17:05,246 --> 01:17:09,875 Keys which I would like to give to the little lady who's being so honoured here tonight. 1108 01:17:11,085 --> 01:17:13,754 And I want to tell you. If she takes these keys 1109 01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:16,215 she will find that they fit something. 1110 01:17:16,340 --> 01:17:19,093 J“ 1111 01:17:19,218 --> 01:17:23,305 And what that something is, is an almost brand-new 1112 01:17:23,430 --> 01:17:27,643 ultra-deluxe, eight-cylinder convertible, 1113 01:17:27,726 --> 01:17:32,189 complete with radio, tape deck, washable seat covers and many, many extras. 1114 01:17:32,314 --> 01:17:35,651 And it's all hers for absolutely free. 1115 01:17:49,498 --> 01:17:51,542 Well... 1116 01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:55,171 Janet's absolutely speechless, ladies and gentlemen. 1117 01:17:57,381 --> 01:17:59,550 But here's someone we do want to hear from. 1118 01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:02,636 A firm favourite of yours and mine. 1119 01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:04,972 You've revelled in his recipes. 1120 01:18:05,055 --> 01:18:07,349 You've marvelled at his marriage guidance. 1121 01:18:07,474 --> 01:18:11,812 The all-knowing, and now, all-seeing... 1122 01:18:11,937 --> 01:18:14,356 That's right! 1123 01:18:14,481 --> 01:18:18,527 Bert schnick! 1124 01:18:27,870 --> 01:18:31,999 There. Down there. Come on, Betty. 1125 01:18:35,252 --> 01:18:37,588 Bert, you're beautiful! 1126 01:18:38,797 --> 01:18:41,467 - Hoopla, denton! - Hoopla, Bert! 1127 01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:45,387 - Thank you. Welcome. - What's cooking, Bert? 1128 01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:49,683 I'll tell you what's cooking, buddy, and I'll tell you too, you guys. 1129 01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:54,063 She made the blind see, and it was a gift. 1130 01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:57,274 Who was the gift from? 1131 01:18:57,358 --> 01:19:01,028 - Let's hear an "f" for... - Farley! 1132 01:19:01,153 --> 01:19:05,199 - And another "f" for... - Flavours! 1133 01:19:29,056 --> 01:19:31,058 My friends! 1134 01:19:32,393 --> 01:19:36,355 And you are all my friends. 1135 01:19:36,438 --> 01:19:42,278 My friends, tonight we are taking the first step of defiance 1136 01:19:42,361 --> 01:19:47,074 and starting something that will grow so big 1137 01:19:47,157 --> 01:19:50,619 that the whole world will reverberate with its sound. 1138 01:19:50,744 --> 01:19:54,748 And wherever our slogan 1139 01:19:54,873 --> 01:19:58,335 "sanity and vanity" 1140 01:19:58,419 --> 01:20:00,754 is uttered, 1141 01:20:00,838 --> 01:20:05,050 it will be linked incontrovertibly with this night, 1142 01:20:05,134 --> 01:20:07,928 this station, 1143 01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:13,600 and this... beautiful face. 1144 01:20:17,855 --> 01:20:20,065 Huh? Come on! This way! 1145 01:20:29,908 --> 01:20:33,370 It's a crazy man! 1146 01:20:35,205 --> 01:20:38,542 - Seducer! - And who are you, sir? 1147 01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:42,504 - Your twin brother and your accuser! - Bmd 1148 01:20:42,629 --> 01:20:45,549 arrest that man! He's committed to our care. 1149 01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:49,136 I never signed your contract. 1150 01:20:49,261 --> 01:20:52,306 He's not going anywhere. 1151 01:20:52,431 --> 01:20:55,267 To revenge your twin, you tried to abuse her. 1152 01:20:55,392 --> 01:20:57,394 A ridiculous accusation! 1153 01:20:57,478 --> 01:20:59,938 You force me to refuse her. 1154 01:21:02,483 --> 01:21:07,738 - Then why did you choose her? - Because of you, sir. 1155 01:21:07,863 --> 01:21:10,741 J“ you're a loser 1156 01:21:10,824 --> 01:21:16,413 j“ an abomination in the eyes of any sensitive man 1157 01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:20,209 j“ and you're a blind-alley cruiser 1158 01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:23,420 j“ always headin' down a iosin' straight 1159 01:21:23,504 --> 01:21:26,048 j“ dreamin' that you're screamin' at fate 1160 01:21:26,131 --> 01:21:29,301 j“ you're a dead-end deadbeat nowhere mister 1161 01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:32,346 j“ with a kisser like a Mississippi alligator sister 1162 01:21:32,429 --> 01:21:37,184 j“ I've took as much of you as any man can 1163 01:21:37,267 --> 01:21:40,479 - j“ you've lost your heart - j“ you've lost your cause 1164 01:21:40,604 --> 01:21:43,357 j“ you lost your baby when you lost your balls 1165 01:21:43,482 --> 01:21:46,026 j“ you've lost your mind you've lost your grip 1166 01:21:46,151 --> 01:21:49,238 j“ so say bye-bye 1167 01:21:49,363 --> 01:21:52,282 j“ we lost our mom we lost our dad 1168 01:21:52,366 --> 01:21:56,078 j“ and if I'm iosin' you well, that's too bad 1169 01:21:56,203 --> 01:21:59,081 j“ well, the best thing you could ever do 1170 01:21:59,164 --> 01:22:01,250 j“ is die 1171 01:22:01,375 --> 01:22:04,128 j“ you're a failure 1172 01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:07,381 j“ a malformation in the guise of many 1173 01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:09,925 j“ an also-ran 1174 01:22:10,050 --> 01:22:13,595 j“ and you're a weeper and a wailer 1175 01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:15,931 j“ always treadin' on the toes of the great 1176 01:22:17,307 --> 01:22:19,810 j“ generally spreading your weight 1177 01:22:19,935 --> 01:22:22,813 j“ you're a spiteful, hateful asinine creature 1178 01:22:22,938 --> 01:22:25,732 j“ a pupil with no scruples who knew better than the teacher 1179 01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:30,946 j“ I've took as much of you as any man can 1180 01:22:31,071 --> 01:22:34,199 - j“ you've lost your heart - j“ you've lost your cause 1181 01:22:34,324 --> 01:22:37,369 j“ you lost your baby when you lost your balls 1182 01:22:37,494 --> 01:22:40,414 j“ you lost your mind when you lost your grip 1183 01:22:40,497 --> 01:22:42,708 j“ so say bye-bye 1184 01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:46,003 j“ we lost our home our family 1185 01:22:46,128 --> 01:22:49,631 j“ you've lost compassion now you're iosin' me 1186 01:22:49,756 --> 01:22:52,843 j“ well, the best thing you could ever do 1187 01:22:52,968 --> 01:22:55,554 j“ is die 1188 01:22:55,679 --> 01:23:00,893 j“ well, the best thing you could ever do is die 1189 01:23:01,018 --> 01:23:06,064 J“ well, the best thing you could ever do is die j“ 1190 01:23:06,190 --> 01:23:08,984 take no notice of him. He's mad. 1191 01:23:11,403 --> 01:23:14,198 I'm as sane as you are. 1192 01:23:14,323 --> 01:23:17,451 - Saner! - And he was only with us for one day. 1193 01:23:21,413 --> 01:23:24,875 They should be sent to the danube at dawn. 1194 01:23:24,958 --> 01:23:26,877 What? 1195 01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,962 Just memories. 1196 01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:36,803 We'll edit the tapes. It'll never see airplay. 1197 01:23:36,887 --> 01:23:38,889 Um, I hope Mr. Flavours will accept apologies 1198 01:23:38,972 --> 01:23:41,850 on behalf of all of denton for this unfortunate incident. 1199 01:23:41,934 --> 01:23:44,228 It seems everyone wants to be related to the great. 1200 01:23:44,353 --> 01:23:47,356 Damn right! 1201 01:23:47,481 --> 01:23:49,358 No offence. No offence. 1202 01:23:49,441 --> 01:23:53,195 On the contrary, this is a perfect example of what we're here to combat. 1203 01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:12,214 Out! Out! Out! Out! 1204 01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:15,300 Out! Out! Out' 1205 01:24:15,425 --> 01:24:17,886 Out! Out! Out! 1206 01:24:18,011 --> 01:24:20,806 Out! Out! Out! 1207 01:24:20,931 --> 01:24:24,685 Out! Out! Out! 1208 01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:27,938 Out! Out! Out! 1209 01:24:28,021 --> 01:24:33,151 Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! 1210 01:24:33,277 --> 01:24:35,779 Out! Out! Out! 1211 01:24:35,904 --> 01:24:39,783 Do you see? You see, the way we got rid of that dirty little dish 1212 01:24:39,866 --> 01:24:43,412 is the way we're going to put the rest of our house in order, 1213 01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:45,664 including the upstairs! 1214 01:24:51,044 --> 01:24:53,547 Ah, yes, yes. Miss. You, yes. 1215 01:24:53,672 --> 01:24:55,632 Would you come up and help us to inaugurate... 1216 01:24:55,757 --> 01:24:59,803 Farley flavours' faith factory, transmitting from coast to coast and continent to continent? 1217 01:24:59,886 --> 01:25:02,973 - You are miss... miss... - Macy. Macy struthers. 1218 01:25:03,056 --> 01:25:06,685 Macy struthers! 1219 01:25:06,810 --> 01:25:09,104 J“ 1220 01:25:10,856 --> 01:25:12,816 Who loves you, baby? 1221 01:25:16,069 --> 01:25:18,655 She let me down. 1222 01:25:22,034 --> 01:25:24,161 She let us all down! 1223 01:25:24,244 --> 01:25:27,831 Shut up, Emily, and listen to a success story. 1224 01:25:33,754 --> 01:25:36,173 This could be worse than the old series. 1225 01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:39,051 In the old series, we never had a convertible. 1226 01:25:42,220 --> 01:25:45,015 And remember, sanity today 1227 01:25:46,475 --> 01:25:50,520 is a springboard to the hygienic tomorrow. 1228 01:26:00,864 --> 01:26:04,451 Now will you follow me 1229 01:26:04,534 --> 01:26:08,038 down the dtv trail to dentonvale? 1230 01:26:13,001 --> 01:26:16,463 Thanks, honey. They bought it. Now out of the way. That's right! 1231 01:26:16,588 --> 01:26:18,382 I can't stand it. 1232 01:26:18,465 --> 01:26:21,093 Everything good always happens to other people. 1233 01:26:38,944 --> 01:26:43,782 And fast-food giant, farley flavours has just given miss mental health 1234 01:26:43,865 --> 01:26:47,828 what can only be described as an official kiss of approval. 1235 01:26:47,911 --> 01:26:49,955 And the crowd are loving it 1236 01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:52,999 as they follow her down the dentonvale trail. 1237 01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:55,127 Hey, look! They're havin' a party. 1238 01:27:02,592 --> 01:27:05,595 Come on, you guys. We're gonna miss out on the action. 1239 01:27:05,721 --> 01:27:08,306 'Hurry! Get in there!' 1240 01:27:16,815 --> 01:27:19,526 J“ some people do it for compassion 1241 01:27:20,902 --> 01:27:25,031 j“ some people do it for the fashion 1242 01:27:25,115 --> 01:27:29,119 j“ some people do it to be funny 1243 01:27:29,202 --> 01:27:33,123 j“ some people do it for the money 1244 01:27:33,206 --> 01:27:36,960 j“ some people do it for enslavement 1245 01:27:37,043 --> 01:27:41,506 - j“ some people do it on the pavement - j“ but 1246 01:27:41,631 --> 01:27:44,342 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1247 01:27:44,426 --> 01:27:47,471 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1248 01:27:47,554 --> 01:27:52,768 j“ we're gonna do it no matter how the wind is blowing 1249 01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:55,562 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1250 01:27:55,645 --> 01:27:58,440 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1251 01:27:58,523 --> 01:28:02,694 j“ we're gonna do it we just gotta keep going 1252 01:28:02,778 --> 01:28:05,489 j“ some people do it for each other 1253 01:28:05,572 --> 01:28:08,450 j“ some people do it for their lover 1254 01:28:08,575 --> 01:28:10,994 j“ some people do it for improvement 1255 01:28:11,119 --> 01:28:13,538 j“ some people do it for the movement 1256 01:28:13,663 --> 01:28:16,875 j“ some people do it for enjoyment 1257 01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:18,960 j“ some people do it for employment 1258 01:28:19,085 --> 01:28:20,921 j“ but 1259 01:28:21,004 --> 01:28:23,673 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1260 01:28:23,757 --> 01:28:26,468 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1261 01:28:26,551 --> 01:28:32,057 j“ we're gonna do it no matter how the wind is blowing 1262 01:28:32,140 --> 01:28:34,893 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1263 01:28:34,976 --> 01:28:38,021 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1264 01:28:38,104 --> 01:28:42,859 j“ we're gonna do it we just gotta keep going 1265 01:28:44,986 --> 01:28:47,614 J“ denton, denton you've got 1266 01:28:47,739 --> 01:28:50,075 j“ no pretension 1267 01:28:50,158 --> 01:28:55,664 j“ you're where the heart is you're okay 1268 01:28:55,747 --> 01:28:58,542 j“ denton, denton you've got 1269 01:28:58,667 --> 01:29:01,002 j“ no pretension 1270 01:29:01,086 --> 01:29:04,339 j“ you're the acceptable face 1271 01:29:04,422 --> 01:29:06,591 j“ of the human race 1272 01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:11,221 j“ you're denton denton, u.S.A. 1273 01:29:12,472 --> 01:29:15,141 J“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1274 01:29:15,225 --> 01:29:18,228 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1275 01:29:18,311 --> 01:29:22,899 j“ we're gonna do it no matter how the wind is blowing 1276 01:29:22,983 --> 01:29:26,278 J“ we're gonna do it anyhow, anyhow 1277 01:29:26,361 --> 01:29:29,364 j“ we're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1278 01:29:29,447 --> 01:29:33,702 j“ we're gonna do it we just gotta keep going 1279 01:29:33,785 --> 01:29:36,371 j“ we just gotta keep going 1280 01:29:36,454 --> 01:29:39,749 j“ we just gotta keep going 1281 01:29:44,921 --> 01:29:48,550 'The sun never sets on those who ride into it. 1282 01:29:48,633 --> 01:29:51,219 J“ we just gotta keep going j“ 1283 01:29:52,888 --> 01:29:55,765 j“ 1284 01:32:20,535 --> 01:32:24,247 J“ I'm not a locum with motive to suture myself 1285 01:32:24,372 --> 01:32:27,625 j“ I've been a cynic for too many years 1286 01:32:27,709 --> 01:32:31,546 j“ playin' doctor and nurse it can be good for your health 1287 01:32:31,671 --> 01:32:37,135 j“ I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in tangiers 1288 01:32:38,595 --> 01:32:43,266 j“ but if you open your heart to a smooth operator 1289 01:32:43,391 --> 01:32:46,144 j“ he'll take you for all that you've got 1290 01:32:46,227 --> 01:32:50,023 j“ he'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later 1291 01:32:50,106 --> 01:32:55,862 j“ it'll shake you the way he takes off like a shot 1292 01:32:55,945 --> 01:32:59,908 j“ you need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1293 01:32:59,991 --> 01:33:02,786 j“ get you jumpin' like a real live wire 1294 01:33:02,869 --> 01:33:06,998 j“ you need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1295 01:33:07,082 --> 01:33:10,085 j“ so look out, mister don't you blow your last resistor 1296 01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:13,463 j“ for a vista that'll mystify ya 1297 01:33:15,465 --> 01:33:19,427 j“ you're blinded by romance you're blinded by science 1298 01:33:19,511 --> 01:33:22,680 j“ your condition is critically grave 1299 01:33:22,764 --> 01:33:26,976 j“ but don't expect mercy from such an alliance 1300 01:33:27,060 --> 01:33:32,774 j“ suspicion of tradition's so new wave 1301 01:33:32,857 --> 01:33:36,653 j“ you need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1302 01:33:36,736 --> 01:33:39,572 j“ gets you jumping like a real live wire 1303 01:33:39,656 --> 01:33:43,743 j“ you need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1304 01:33:43,827 --> 01:33:46,913 j“ so look out, mister don't you blow your last resistor 1305 01:33:46,996 --> 01:33:49,499 j“ for a sister that'll certify you j“ 95361

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