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1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:05,440
Sub by lifeline, no HI by santibone
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,920
Bonsoir et bienvenue a bord
ce train SNCF a destination de
3
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:21,360
Bourg-Saint-Maurice qui arrivera
a 7 heure quarante demain matin.
4
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,120
Schuldigung.
5
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,080
Ach, verdammter mist!
6
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,680
Could you close the window, please?
7
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,480
Eh? Schliessen sie
das fenster, bitte?
8
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,760
Oh, de-da-de-da-de-da...
9
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,480
Oh, it's here, look.
10
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,040
Where? Here. Number nine.
11
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,120
Oh, God, there's people
in here already. So?
12
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,080
They're asleep.
It's a sleeper train.
13
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,440
What do you expect them to be doing?
Playing ping pong?
14
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,160
Keep your voice down. Sorry.
15
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,680
Er, I'll just put these away.
Well, what about these?
16
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,720
Don't want them all
creased up for the wedding.
17
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,560
Well, hang them up. Find the ticket,
see which ones are ours.
18
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,080
Just get on with it, would you?
I'm trying to sleep.
19
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,240
Yeah, sorry.
20
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,640
Here, they've got sinks
for brushing your teeth -
21
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,400
but the water's brown.
22
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,920
I don't trust it.
23
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,120
Which one's ours? I can't see.
24
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,000
I'll put the big light on.
Les! Oh!
25
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,640
I think it's these top two,
but there's someone in that one.
26
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:50,760
Oh, you're joking...
27
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,840
Well, it's all right,
we'll just take these two.
28
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,280
No, I want to go on the top!
Les, you're not six!
29
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,200
It's the only thing
I was looking forward to.
30
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,880
What, more than
your daughter's wedding?
31
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,360
Let's just wake him up.
32
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,920
No! I've already disturbed
this gentleman.
33
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,040
We'll both go in this one, if you're
that fussed. Be an adventure.
34
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,400
It's not the Crystal Maze, you know?
35
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,840
What did she want to get
married in France for, anyway?
36
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,160
Could have had the back room
at The Cheese for free.
37
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:17,120
Because she wanted to wake up
in the French mountains, Les -
38
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,840
not in a pub garden in Bury.
39
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,400
They'd have put on a good spread.
40
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,280
And they'd have an artist
on at the night do.
41
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,680
They'll do a good spread here.
42
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,760
You're in France - cuisine capital
of the world.
43
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,920
Yeah, well,
I'm not eating frogs' legs.
44
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,560
Oh, shut up about that.
You have crab's dicks.
45
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:32,760
What?
46
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,840
You - you eat crab's dicks
in the pub.
47
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,760
That's "crab sticks", you idiot.
What's a crab's dick?
48
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,040
Well, I don't know.
I thought they were big.
49
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,480
Would you be quiet, please?
50
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,680
Sorry, love. We're just
sorting ourselves out.
51
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,120
Yeah... No...
52
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:53,560
Oh, me too, babe.
I absolutely stink.
53
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,560
Haven't had a shower since Prague.
54
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,000
Oh, fuck knows.
55
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,840
Hold on...
56
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,200
Awesome.
57
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,800
Excuse me, does anyone know
what country we're in?
58
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,960
You're in France, love.
59
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,000
Oh, my God, we're in France!
60
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,360
What happened to Austria?
61
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,680
Yeah, right...
62
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,680
Hold on, hold on...
63
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,320
I'm going to go out in the corridor.
64
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,240
Yeah, I'm in the er, couchette.
65
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,120
No, it's like a room.
66
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,320
Yeah...
67
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,920
Basically a hostel on wheels.
It's so fucked.
68
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,640
No... Could you
close the door, please?
69
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,640
Excuse me?
70
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:35,960
Excuse me!
71
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,480
Ridiculous!
72
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,920
Come on, let's get undressed.
Ah, yeah.
73
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,160
Oof!
74
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,000
Ow!
75
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,680
You...
76
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,680
What you doing? I can't...
77
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,080
I'm just trying to help!
78
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,800
Shh!
79
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,640
What are you doing?
Get your head out!
80
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,160
It's no good. We'll have to
have to wake him up.
81
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:39,600
No!
82
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:40,840
There's no room!
83
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,760
Hey, excuse me.
Ah, was ist...?
84
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,200
Er, you're in our bed.
85
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:52,720
Huh? Er...you are in my wife's bed.
86
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,760
Ja? Ja.
87
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,760
Is that OK?
88
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,880
Ja, warum nicht? Komm...
89
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,160
Oh, no, no, no, no, not with you.
You have to go down.
90
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,560
Ja, das klingt gut, ja.
91
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,160
Don't give him any ideas.
92
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,560
No, er, here...
93
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,840
Er, er... 9D.
94
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,640
9D.
95
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,440
Sie sind in der falschen
bett, sie mussen bewegen!
96
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,360
Was hat das mit ihnen zu tun, ha?
97
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,120
Sie haben die Fahrkarte!
98
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,000
Was fur einen unterschied macht es?
Ich bin schon in bett!
99
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,160
Weil ich nicht schlafen kann!
100
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,200
We've started World War Three here.
101
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,360
Das ist lacherlich...
Verdammt lacherlich...
102
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,880
Hey, watch those suits, pal.
103
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,440
The suits! Ignorant. Les!
104
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,360
Well, look at him - Baba Papa.
105
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,040
Thank you, sir.
106
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,360
We don't mean to cause a fuss,
107
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,560
but it's better to get
it sorted, isn't it?
108
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:46,120
Look, I have a very important
interview tomorrow morning.
109
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,880
We have 8 hours and 42 minutes
110
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,000
before we arrive in
Bourg-Saint-Maurice.
111
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,120
I should like to spend the
majority of that time sleeping!
112
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:56,000
Yeah, so would we. Sorry.
113
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,840
Go on, Les - shift yourself.
114
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:01,320
Oh, why do I have to go in?
It's all sweaty and horrible.
115
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,920
The gentleman's just told you
he's trying to get some sleep.
116
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,680
I'm going to hang these
suits up first, aren't I?
117
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,600
Hey, hey, hey? These are
for our daughters' wedding.
118
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,000
Verpiss dich!
119
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,280
Ah, you pig!
120
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:18,800
Oh, please!
121
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,360
I'll be quiet now. Ah!
122
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,720
Oh, it stinks!
123
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,560
Night, night.
124
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,920
Night, night.
125
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,000
Les!
126
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,160
I know, it's my travel alarm.
127
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,040
Turn it off.
128
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,120
Only lasts 30 seconds. Be over soon.
129
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,600
Not long, now.
130
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,000
Les!
131
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,160
Told you.
132
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,920
Just down here.
133
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,480
Excellent.
134
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,560
This is actually much nicer
than first class.
135
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,040
Seriously?
136
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,240
Yeah. It's a lot more real,
if you know what I mean?
137
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,440
Here.
138
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,520
This actually reminds me of a hostel
I stayed in, out in Phuket.
139
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,680
The toilets were disgusting.
140
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,280
I love all that shit.
Have you done India?
141
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,800
Oh, yeah, it was awesome.
I got hepatitis.
142
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,080
Really? A or B? Only A. Oh.
143
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,840
Still, my friend Callum
got typhoid in Mumbai.
144
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,320
His parents had to pay for an
air ambulance to get him out.
145
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,720
It was like The Killing Fields.
146
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,520
Shit! Was he OK?
147
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,440
Yeah - he lost like 3st.
He was really pleased.
148
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,920
He was a bit of a blob.
149
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:44,920
So, um...
150
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,480
What are your impressions
of Europe, so far?
151
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,680
Oh, I just love all the history
and buildings and stuff.
152
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,280
Mm, what have you seen?
153
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,760
Um, what's the one in Belgium,
of the little boy with his dick out?
154
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,400
Le Mannekin Pis.
155
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,760
Er, designed by Hieronimus
Duquesnoy in 1688, I think.
156
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,600
Yeah, I climbed over the railings
157
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,240
and got a picture of it
pissing in my mouth.
158
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,480
Wow, you're so vile - I love you.
159
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:13,040
Well, if someone lends me their
toilet paper, I'm anybody's.
160
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,680
There's plenty more
where that came from.
161
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,960
Oh, fuck. I keep forgetting
there's other people in here.
162
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,680
Shall we go to your carriage?
163
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,400
Er... No, actually,
it's better here, yeah.
164
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,920
It's a right giggle.
165
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,240
It is, now you're here.
166
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,800
Mmm, barbecue sauce.
167
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,840
So erm, how have you found
the men, from country to country?
168
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,560
Not that I'm implying you're
a slag - or maybe you are.
169
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:40,680
I don't know?
170
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:44,280
No, I am. You could say
I've covered a lot of ground.
171
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,240
Ah, OK. Who comes out on top?
172
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:47,720
Well, that depends -
173
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:51,000
whether we're in the marshy
wetlands or the arid desert.
174
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,160
Can't actually think
of a desert in Europe,
175
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,000
other than Tabernas in Spain.
176
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,320
No, I meant up the shitter.
177
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,640
Right, good.
178
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,040
Are you much of an explorer?
179
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:05,160
Er, well...
I can be quite adventurous.
180
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,960
Pot-holing in Derbyshire
was properly intense.
181
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,200
So you're used to going in
pretty deep, then?
182
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,720
Ah, it depends how cavernous
we're talking. Ooh!
183
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:18,320
Fasten your seat belts,
it's going to be a bumpy ride!
184
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:19,600
What's the matter?
185
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,560
Oh, my God!
186
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:23,880
What's going on?
187
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,080
He's dead!
188
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,520
Someone put big light on.
189
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,800
What's going on? Who are you?
190
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,720
I...I was just having
a night cap with...
191
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,160
Sorry, I forgot your name...
192
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,000
Shona. Shona. When, er...
this chap fell out of the sky.
193
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,960
Get out of my way. I'm a doctor.
194
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,360
Was ist passiert?
Sind wir angekommen?
195
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,200
Dieser Mann aus dem bett gefallen.
196
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,800
I thought he was very quiet.
197
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,520
Is he all right, bud?
198
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,000
He's dead.
199
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,280
Shittington.
200
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,960
He appears to have some sort
of lesion, or blister on his face.
201
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,800
Could be erysipelas...
202
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,000
Oh, God, sorry. No, that's...mine.
203
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,960
I'll just keep that,
take that for later.
204
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,560
Fingers crossed, eh?
205
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:05,880
What do we do?
206
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,600
I'll go and find a guard.
Everyone stay here.
207
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:09,920
Don't let anyone in or out.
208
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,960
Oh, ich fuhle mich schreklich.
209
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,640
What's he say? I don't know,
something about Shrek.
210
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,280
Ah, I thought he looked a bit green.
Oh, it was awful.
211
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,280
He was staring at me with
these horrible glazed eyes.
212
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,360
Sorry, it's just my sex face.
213
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,920
Do you want to come up here, love -
out of the way of it?
214
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,040
Yeah, thanks.
215
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,400
Right, well, I'd better be
heading back to first class, so...
216
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,440
Oi, oi, hang on pal. Hang on.
217
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,000
That fella said we've got to
wait here, till the guard comes.
218
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,400
Oh, I just didn't want
to get... Shirley? Shona.
219
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,280
Shona... Shona... into any trouble.
220
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,040
Late night romps, et cetera.
221
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,440
Is that what you were doing?
In a room full of people?
222
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,600
I'm sure you would have
just slept through it.
223
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,280
You know about that, Kath.
224
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,360
Hey, what's he doing? Hey, hey!
What's the idea, pal?
225
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,360
Ich suche ein reisepass.
226
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,080
Here, get your fingers out of him.
227
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,280
Er muss ein grossvater sein.
228
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,240
Oh, he had grandkids - look.
229
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,760
His poor family.
They don't even know yet.
230
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,320
Hey, it's like we're
the kids in Stand By Me.
231
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,720
Bags I'm River Phoenix.
232
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,280
Good film.
233
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,520
Couldn't find anybody.
All the carriages are closed.
234
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,840
Oh, they're never around
when you need them, are they?
235
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:36,520
There has to be someone -
it's not Runaway Train.
236
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,720
Ich hatte einen Vorschlag.
Warum benutzen wir nicht den hier?
237
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,760
Oh, vielleicht das ist
nicht geboten.
238
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,320
Wass meinst du mit geboten -
der mann ist tot!
239
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,160
What are you saying? Speak English.
240
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,560
He's proposing we use
the emergency stop.
241
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:50,640
Ya, genau.
242
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,280
Can I do that? I've always
wanted to smash one of them.
243
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,640
Oh, don't cut your hands.
244
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:55,800
No, I won't -
245
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,960
cos I'm going to use
one of your shoes.
246
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,760
Hey, I got them from Next!
247
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,920
I haven't got a ticket!
248
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,080
What? Can't stop the train -
I don't have a ticket.
249
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,880
I'm sort of a stowaway.
250
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:11,000
Was is los? Er hat kein fahrkarte.
251
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,560
Tun sie was sie woollen,
ich brauche mein bett.
252
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,520
You told me you were in first class.
253
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,600
Sorry, I lied.
254
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,880
I'm completely broke.
You bastard!
255
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:21,760
So what, you just
hang around the toilets,
256
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,480
waiting for an Australian slapper
to offer you a bed, is that it?
257
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,680
Yeah, pretty much.
258
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,360
Well, listen - I'm sorry pal,
I'm smashing it. Oh...
259
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,560
We've got a dead body, here.
260
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,120
Well, I have to declare an interest.
261
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,400
Tomorrow morning,
I have an interview
262
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,320
at the World Health Organization in
Geneva.
263
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,960
What do you want,
a round of applause?
264
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,320
Well, if we stop the train,
there will be a major delay
265
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:42,800
and I will miss my appointment -
266
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,400
an appointment that it's taken me
18 months to arrange.
267
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,640
What are you saying, here?
268
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,920
Well, this man has been dead
for at least four hours -
269
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,440
another three or four
will not make any difference.
270
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,480
What - you want to
just leave him there?
271
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,680
Well, I propose we
put him back to bed,
272
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,200
continue the journey without
delay and have the guards
273
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,560
find the poor gentleman
first thing tomorrow morning.
274
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,040
Oh, that doesn't sound right.
275
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,320
Don't they have to examine
the body, like a Quincy?
276
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,880
Exactly, yeah. They have to
find out the cause of death.
277
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,160
Apparently, when you hang yourself,
you get an erection.
278
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,840
Sorry, irrelevant.
279
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,560
There's nothing we can do for him.
It's probably a heart attack.
280
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,200
It really would mean the world to me
281
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,080
if we could just finish this journey
without interruption.
282
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,160
Sorry, am I going mad here?
283
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,240
Are you suggesting we all just
bunk up with a rotting corpse,
284
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,280
so you can make your interview
in the morning?
285
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,960
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Smash the glass, Les.
286
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,120
Right, er...
287
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,120
We have got our Leanne's
wedding tomorrow.
288
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,360
I mean, what if he's right
and we end up late?
289
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,040
Well, the day-do's not until 12,
we'll easily make that.
290
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:46,400
Will we, though? What if
they don't let anyone off?
291
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,960
He rolled out of bed dead, it's not
Murder on the Orient Express!
292
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,680
Oh, another good film.
293
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,960
I'm fairly confident that if
we do alert the authorities,
294
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,480
we both will miss our
respective engagements.
295
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,360
Exactly! Look, they'll find him
in a couple of hours, anyway.
296
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:03,160
We'll be gone and that's that.
297
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,400
I have to say I agree.
298
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,200
Good. Well, I'll just explain
the situation to our German friend,
299
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,520
so we're all on the same page.
300
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,640
Oh, come on, Kath.
We've come all this way.
301
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,720
We don't want to let our Leanne down.
302
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,560
Will you give us
a minute please, love?
303
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,000
Sure.
304
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,320
Do you want a hand?
305
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,600
Are you still here?
306
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,680
Why don't you go back
to first class?
307
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,000
Well, I thought, now that
there's a spare bunk going,
308
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,200
I might as well get my head down
for a couple of hours.
309
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,160
What?
310
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,520
Unless you want to pick up
from where we left off?
311
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,200
That's been on a dead man's face.
312
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,040
Have some respect.
313
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,320
S...sorry. Too soon.
314
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,400
I can't believe
what I'm hearing, Les.
315
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,640
I don't know who you are.
Who are you?
316
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,560
Oh, look - I'm just a man who
wants to walk his daughter
317
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,440
down the aisle on her wedding day.
318
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:02,360
Yeah, having slept with a
dead body, the night before!
319
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,400
Been doing that
for the last 25 years(!)
320
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,520
It was a joke.
321
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,400
Oh, come on, Kath. If that
Aussie bird hadn't of screamed,
322
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,920
you have slept through
and been none the wiser.
323
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,680
We don't even know who the man is -
324
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,360
makes no difference to us.
325
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,000
Imagine if that was you -
326
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,560
slung in a corner and ignored,
327
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,720
because it's more convenient
for everybody else.
328
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,720
Shame on you, Les Cook!
329
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,800
Yeah, do you not think
you're over-reacting?
330
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,600
No, I think I've just woken up.
331
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,800
Ich hoffe sie fuhlen sich besser.
Ya.
332
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,040
Is he all right?
333
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,240
Yes, just a little bit
compacted, that's all.
334
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,320
Too much beer and
bratwurst, probably.
335
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:38,920
That should get him moving again.
336
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,240
Now, I really do think
we ought to put the cadaver
337
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,040
back where we found it.
338
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,440
Cadaver?
He was a human being, you know?
339
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,600
Sorry? He had a family.
340
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,800
He's not a piece of meat.
341
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,560
Ah, yes, of course... Would
anyone like to say a few words?
342
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,360
Yeah, I would.
343
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,160
This man...
344
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,720
was a husband, a father
and a grandfather.
345
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,960
He always had a smile
for everyone...
346
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,040
and he had a wicked sense of humour.
347
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,520
Well, I mean...
We don't actually know that.
348
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,000
I'm going by the picture.
349
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,200
Right.
350
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,920
He loved sitting in his green chair,
351
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,800
his family all around him.
352
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,800
Yeah, he loved to drink -
who doesn't?
353
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,120
But the main thing is...
354
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,880
..he was a man.
355
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,600
That's it.
356
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,080
Great.
357
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,200
Ah, good. Well, shall we, er...?
358
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,720
That's it.
359
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,240
Oh! Not my first time
handling a stiff.
360
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,360
Boarding school.
361
00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,440
There - and that leaves
3 hours and 52 minutes.
362
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:04,400
Good. Er, could you um get
the light please, Mrs, um...
363
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,120
Cook.
364
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,920
Thank you.
365
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,680
Well, good night.
366
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,160
Shirley, did we decide to...
367
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,600
Fuck off. OK, right.
368
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,800
Hope you don't mind
a bit of spooning, pal.
369
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,040
Night, Kath.
370
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,200
Kath?
371
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,520
You all right?
372
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,840
It's been a very moving service -
373
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,600
even the wedding cake was in tiers.
374
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:47,360
Er, yes... Leanne has known
Phil for 14 years now -
375
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:50,400
which is funny, because I don't
remember her breaking two mirrors.
376
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:51,560
Shhh!
377
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,080
Oh, soz mate, soz.
I'm, er...practising me speech.
378
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,680
Oh... Getting a bit nervous.
379
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,720
Oh, I'm sure you'll do just fine.
380
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,440
Big day for both of us, eh?
What's your interview for?
381
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,680
Pharmaceutical development.
382
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,120
Oh, right.
383
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,560
WHO are offering a sizeable grant
384
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:12,160
for research into the
degenerative effects of angina.
385
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,200
If my bid is chosen,
it could be life-changing.
386
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,480
Yeah, that's exactly
like me and my decorating.
387
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,320
When I give a quote for...
Well, back bedrooms, say,
388
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,000
I've got to think you know,
"What's the other fella coming in at
389
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,400
"and how can I undercut him
without looking like a twat?"
390
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:30,720
Do you know what I mean?
391
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,840
Yes, it's...similar.
392
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,440
Well, good luck, pal.
I hope you get it.
393
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,440
I'm optimistic.
394
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,440
My Auntie Gladys had acute angina.
395
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,840
Her tits weren't bad either(!)
396
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,120
Hey, do you remember that, Kath?
397
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,400
K...Kath? Where's she gone?
398
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,560
Ah!
399
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,080
Ah! Scheisse!
400
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,720
You OK? Has anyone seen our Kath?
She's just disappeared.
401
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,040
Get him off me!
402
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,120
Ach, ich muss scheisse...
403
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:09,520
Er, sorry love,
have you seen me wife?
404
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,760
No, what's happened?
She stopped this train!
405
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,600
She wouldn't do that.
406
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,920
What are you doing?
Ich muss scheissen!
407
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,360
Do you need the toilet?
Someone get him some paper.
408
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,520
Ah, nein!
409
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,600
Hold on! There's something
on the tracks...
410
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,840
Hey, that's our Kath's shoe box.
What is it?
411
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,920
I can't... Looks like a body.
412
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,080
What? Who?
413
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,440
If she's jumped,
we'll be here for hours.
414
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,320
God, no! It's not her, is it?
I can't see.
415
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,160
Of course it's her.
The stupid cow's cost me my job!
416
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,720
Shut up, you! This is all your fault!
417
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,160
OK, keep still. Here it comes!
418
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,480
Oh!
419
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,440
Stay away from me!
420
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,040
I can see they're bringing it out.
421
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,680
Oh! Try and aim away from
the dead man's face!
422
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,040
I can see blood!
423
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:54,160
So can I!
424
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,960
Oh, you bastard! Leave me alone!
425
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,920
We're going to need a bigger box!
426
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,520
It's... it's a deer.
427
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,240
Les, what's happening?
428
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:06,720
And what is that smell?
429
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,000
You might need to get
some new shoes.
430
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,920
Well, that was
just a 32 minute delay.
431
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,360
Not too bad at all.
432
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:26,360
Try saying that to
all the little fawns
433
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:27,760
who've just lost their mother.
434
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:31,080
I'm sorry, I don't speak deer.
I'm not Dr Doolittle.
435
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,480
Well, you are to me.
436
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,240
Is he OK?
437
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,800
Yeah, he's just hosing himself down.
438
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,640
God, that was pretty traumatic.
439
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,520
Yeah, he must be mortified.
440
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,360
No, I meant for me.
441
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:47,960
I felt like Augustus Gloop.
442
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:50,880
Thanks for lending me the T-shirt.
443
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:51,920
No worries.
444
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,640
I don't know how I'm going to
get it back to you.
445
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,240
Well...
446
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:58,640
where are you headed to next?
447
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,680
I thought I'd lost you there, Kath.
448
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:02,800
Don't be daft.
449
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:06,680
I'm not going to kill myself on the
day of me daughter's wedding, am I?
450
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,560
You're feeling better about it now?
451
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,200
We've robbed that man of
dignity in his final moments
452
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,600
and for that, I will
never forgive myself.
453
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,040
You're not going to
say anything, are you?
454
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,520
No.
455
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,440
But after the wedding,
456
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,360
I want you to find out
who that man was,
457
00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,920
where his family live and we're
going to go to their funeral.
458
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,560
That's what I want. Right.
459
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,880
Who's paying for that?
460
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:33,880
Right, well - we're off.
461
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,280
Enjoy the wedding. Oh, thanks love.
462
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,280
Hey, it's at the Pavillion Hotel
in Vallandry,
463
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:39,880
if you wanted to pop in for a drink?
464
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,960
Ah, no. I think we're going to
go exploring, aren't we?
465
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,320
Yeah.
466
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,800
Can't wait to see those valleys.
467
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,280
Is someone going to...
468
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,080
Yes, I'll inform the guard.
Nice to meet you.
469
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,920
Mesdames et Messieurs,
470
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,120
nous arrivons bientot
a Bourg-Saint-Maurice...
471
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,240
Well, er...
Good luck with your interview.
472
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,200
Oh, thank you. I hope you get it.
Yes, yes.
473
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,680
And if you ever need
any decorating doing...
474
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,200
Ah yes, I have your card.
475
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:18,800
Hello?
476
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,240
Come on, Les. Yes.
477
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,040
'This is Dr Maxwell?'
478
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,000
Yes, this is Dr Maxwell.
479
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,440
'I am your driver.
I am at the car park.'
480
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,840
Ah, yes... We're just pulling
into the station now.
481
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,520
Sorry about the delay.
482
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,760
'We're also waiting for the
other candidate, a Dr Meyer.
483
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,280
'He's on the same train.'
484
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:40,480
Really? Well, I'll keep
my eye open for him.
485
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:41,640
See you shortly.
486
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,120
I'm terribly sorry about all this,
487
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:48,440
but there really could only ever
be one candidate for this grant.
488
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,160
Goodbye, Dr Meyer.
489
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:52,240
Ja?
490
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,920
Bitte? Ich bin Dr Meyer.
491
00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:59,400
Nein, nein, er ist Dr Meyer.
492
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:00,640
Nein, das bin ich.
493
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,360
No, no, Dr Meyer was in 9B...
494
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:05,400
Neun B...
495
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:07,600
I checked.
496
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,200
Ich kann uberall schlafen.
497
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,640
Vielen dank fur die hilfe,
498
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,800
ich fuhle mich jetzt viel besser.
499
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:18,480
Ah gut, I... Ich habe heute
ein wichtiges interview.
500
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,120
Yes, so do I...
501
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,440
Ah, Dr Maxwell!
502
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:23,920
Sehr gut!
503
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,200
Unsere auto ist hier, ja?
504
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:28,320
Ja.
505
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,360
Ah, so wie sagt man auf Englisch?
506
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,160
"May the best man win"!
507
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:46,560
Sub by lifeline, no HI by santibone
www.addic7ed.com
37153
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