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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,035 [patriotic music] 2 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,981 - I'm the deputy director of the FBI. 3 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:18,474 I'm gonna look into this rascal Deep Throat. 4 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,818 - [whispers] I think I'm gonna vomit. 5 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,482 - Elvis freaks out. 6 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,924 He's gonna regret the day he stole that jewelry, man. 7 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:28,326 He... he messed with the wrong guy. 8 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,058 - John Wilkes Booth is like, 9 00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:33,499 Lincoln? What does it all mean? 10 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,901 What is he talking about? 11 00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:39,134 Slavery. I don't even get it. 12 00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:43,268 - [inhales, exhales] Wha... 13 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,279 Where are we? 14 00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:52,617 ♪♪ 15 00:00:56,723 --> 00:01:01,093 - Um... D.C. is the greatest place to live on earth. 16 00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:05,293 Um, it's a transient city, like a stepping stone. 17 00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:07,460 So that brings a lot of new people in, 18 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,212 but it's also... Brings people who don't know 19 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,398 what the fuck's going on. 20 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,304 - There's the three branches of government, 21 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,309 all of these checks and balances. 22 00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:18,107 Judicial, executive, legislative. 23 00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:21,741 They all exist in Washington, D.C. 24 00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:24,811 - Have you been drinking? 25 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,877 - Here's the deal. I have been. 26 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,320 - Yeah. 27 00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:29,599 - Because that's the part of the thing 28 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,886 that I gotta do for this show. 29 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,756 Hello. 30 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,728 My name is Matt Gourley. 31 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,060 And tonight, we're gonna talk about Watergate. 32 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,898 Let's begin. 33 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,904 Washington, D.C. 1970... 34 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,565 1972. 35 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,075 Five Watergate burglars are arrested 36 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,668 in the Democratic National Committee headquarters. 37 00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:54,011 What are they doing there? Why are they breaking in? 38 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:57,814 The young upstart reporter, Robert Woodward, 39 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,285 goes to the hearing. 40 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,185 One of them, 41 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:04,214 when the judge is asking these five burglars, 42 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:05,725 who do you work for? 43 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,421 The CIA. 44 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,124 Excuse me, could you say that a little bit louder? 45 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:12,132 The CIA. 46 00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:17,468 Robert Woodward is onto something. 47 00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:20,099 Oh, look at this sweet little fat guy. 48 00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:26,809 Where do you gotta be right now? 49 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,009 Okay, let's go back in time. 50 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,745 The year is 1970. 51 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:35,779 A young Robert Woodward, a lieutenant in the Navy... 52 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:39,486 He's sitting next to this older, distinguished man 53 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:42,257 saying, I'm soon to be out of the Navy. 54 00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:44,127 What am I gonna do with my life? 55 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,362 Am I gonna become a lawyer like my father wants? 56 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:50,030 And this older man presents himself as a mentor, 57 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,301 saying, so listen to me. 58 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,537 You're working for truth. Stay with it. 59 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:59,012 And young Robert Woodward takes away from this thing, 60 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,378 I can depend on this man. 61 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,407 I can call on this man at some point 62 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,385 to give me information. 63 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:10,949 That man is Mark Felt, deputy director of the FBI. 64 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,960 Let's flash forward a little bit. 65 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:16,293 Robert Woodward and his partner, Carl Bernstein, 66 00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:19,265 decide to call on his old buddy, Mark Felt, 67 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:22,497 for information about Watergate. 68 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,767 Felt says, I can't talk to you on the phone about this. 69 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:29,334 I'm Mark Felt, and I did spy times in World War II, 70 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,038 and I know how this works. 71 00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:35,174 You get The New York Times every day at your door. 72 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:39,016 At page 20, I will draw a little clock 73 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,520 that says what hour I wanna meet you. 74 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,783 And here's the thing. 75 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,381 Any time you wanna meet me, 76 00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:45,858 Mark Felt says, I need something 77 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,521 that I could visually acknowledge. 78 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,827 Woodward says, I do have this potted plant 79 00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,162 that I keep out on my balcony. 80 00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:53,667 I could move that. 81 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,999 And Mark Felt is like, here's the thing. 82 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,403 I wanna meet you at this underground parking garage 83 00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,770 in Virginia. 84 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,742 But any time you wanna meet, leave out the back stairs. 85 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,541 Walk a couple of blocks. Get in a cab. 86 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,275 Take that cab. Get out of the cab. 87 00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,874 Walk a couple blocks. Get in another cab. 88 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,408 Get in that cab. Get out of that cab. 89 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:15,081 Walk a couple blocks to the Virginia parking garage 90 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:17,887 that I previously talked about. 91 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,553 Woodward meets Felt. 92 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,926 And he says... 93 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:27,799 [gulping] 94 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,235 Hold on. 95 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:34,469 [whispering] I think I'm gonna vomit. 96 00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,841 [exhales] 97 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,369 [mutters and burps] 98 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:44,049 [vomiting] 99 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:48,015 Sorry, pal. 100 00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:53,850 I'm ready to tell the story. 101 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:57,854 Woodward meets with Mark Felt, 102 00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,060 and he says, could you tell me a little bit 103 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:04,128 about why these guys might be connected? 104 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:07,471 And he says, put the pieces together, you dumbass! 105 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:11,968 It's all in front of you. Do the work! 106 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,640 Just be careful. 107 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,377 Watergate is the tip of the iceberg. 108 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:19,352 And when Robert Woodward took his secret source 109 00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:20,877 to The Washington Post, he said, 110 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,583 my source is deep background. 111 00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,887 That means he cannot be identified. 112 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:28,362 Their editor at The Washington Post said, 113 00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,159 yeah, you keep calling him deep background, 114 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,632 but I'm gonna call him "Deep Throat"... 115 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:36,899 based on the pornography film that was very popular, 116 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:40,533 which dealt with natural ladies, you know? 117 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:43,476 And so Woodward and Bernstein figure out 118 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,503 that this money connected to these burglars 119 00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:50,415 goes all the way to the Watergate administration... 120 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,885 To the Nixon administration. 121 00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:56,014 Richard Nixon. Let's talk about Richard Nixon. 122 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,066 Do you wanna talk about Richard Nixon? 123 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,100 - I would Io... Yes, please. 124 00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,524 - Yeah, I thought you might. 125 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,858 Mark Felt says to Nixon, 126 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,888 I'm the deputy director of the FBI. 127 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,662 I'm gonna look into this rascal Deep Throat. 128 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,933 And further, I'm gonna set myself up 129 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,497 as head of the investigation. 130 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,510 So Nixon's top aide, Haldeman, says, 131 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,377 I think Mark Felt is Deep Throat. 132 00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:22,849 And Nixon says, now, why would he do that? 133 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,650 And when the Watergate hearings gets to a boiling point, 134 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:27,745 Nixon is like, 135 00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:30,018 I never knew of this Watergate break-in 136 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,958 to discover information about the Democrats. 137 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,485 And after that, he says, I am not a crook. 138 00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,520 Nixon knows he's fucked. 139 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,033 And he says, there's nothing I can do about it. 140 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,830 Nobody's gonna trust me at this point. 141 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,530 I gotta step down. 142 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,562 Hand me some cookies. 143 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:50,868 All I know is I'm eating cookies, and none of you are. 144 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,437 Do you guys want some cookies? 145 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,724 - No, we like watching you eat cookies. 146 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,546 - You have no ambition. 147 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,018 The interesting thing about this take 148 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,920 we're taking on it is all the stories we know of Watergate 149 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,117 is, who's Deep Throat? 150 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:07,150 And now we can tell the story knowing who Deep Throat is. 151 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,957 And in the end, 152 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,829 you can toss aside Richard Nixon for all his cynicism, 153 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:15,029 you can toss aside Deep Throat for all his cynicism, 154 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:18,869 but you can't toss aside Robert Woodward, 155 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,874 and to a lesser extent, Carl Bernstein, 156 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:25,003 for the truth that they exposed 157 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,879 for America. 158 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,678 Well, we told the story of Watergate. 159 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,618 There's no way I could possibly misconstrue it 160 00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:37,420 as not the greatest journalistic endeavor 161 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,857 ever told. 162 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,952 Robert Woodward would be proud. 163 00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,890 - It's beautiful. They're at the Ford's Theatre. 164 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,801 Until John Wilkes Booth comes into their box 165 00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,737 and shoots Lincoln in the head. 166 00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:54,502 Uhh... fuck! 167 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,673 [mixed chatter] 168 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,309 - Abraham Lincoln is, like, the best. 169 00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:07,583 Aside from the pro... The Emancipation Proclamation, 170 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,179 freed the slaves... 171 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,919 Actually, I'm East African. It doesn't matter. 172 00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,984 But he's fucking swag. 173 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,723 Fucking great, Abraham Lincoln. 174 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:18,231 Abraham Lincoln is, like, the best... 175 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:20,256 16th best president in America. 176 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,359 - Cheers. - Cheers. 177 00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,893 - History. Yeah? 178 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,498 - When I drank, it sounded like a fart. 179 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:28,508 - [laughs] 180 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,407 - Hello. 181 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,571 Today, we're gonna talk about John Wilkes Booth 182 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:35,514 and his brother, Edwin Booth... 183 00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,074 The Booth brothers. 184 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,644 Edwin Booth and John Wilkes Booth 185 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,521 were born to a British actor 186 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:47,926 named Ju... nius Brutus Booth. 187 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,930 [laughs] 188 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:53,365 Edwin is a favorite of their dad. 189 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:57,667 Junius was so mean, he wouldn't even let John Wilkes 190 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,263 into photographs with him. 191 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,706 John Wilkes, stay back, man. 192 00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:04,939 Stay away because you're not cool. 193 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,504 Stop. You're kind of weird. 194 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,779 You're weirding everybody out. Just back away. 195 00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,184 And he became sad, 196 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:16,246 which establishes their rivalry. 197 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,623 In 1858, John Wilkes and Edwin Booth 198 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:24,097 were the most famous actors in the world. 199 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:29,398 Performance-wise, everyone loved Edwin Booth. 200 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:32,770 John Wilkes Booth... He was untrained. 201 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:38,109 He would knock sets down. He was so violent. 202 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,045 So when the Civil War broke out, 203 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,106 John Wilkes Booth is like, 204 00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:45,084 Lincoln? What does it all mean? 205 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,587 What is he talking about? 206 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,784 Slavery. I don't even get it. 207 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:54,556 That was the moment his political aspirations 208 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:59,396 overtook artistic aspirations. 209 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,333 However, Abraham Lincoln 210 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:04,428 was requesting Edwin perform Shakespeare 211 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,599 at government functions. 212 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,540 Am I fucking it up, guys? 213 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,874 What's up, guys? What... is it fucking it up? 214 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,288 - You're not fucking anything up, man. 215 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:15,339 - Okay, okay. [mumbling] 216 00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,316 Okay. Right, right, right. 217 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,875 At the Ford's Theatre 218 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:21,820 when John Wilkes Booth was gesticulating, 219 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,949 Abraham Lincoln's sister-in-law is like, 220 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,482 I think he's pointing at you, Abraham. 221 00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,994 And Abraham Lincoln is like, 222 00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:30,758 it does seem like he's pointing at me. 223 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,959 Uh... 224 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,524 this is a little weird. 225 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,867 He should, uh, you know, 226 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,499 not be pointing at me during this particular line 227 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:45,035 because it's sort of... aggressive. 228 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:49,675 In November 1864, Edwin Booth is like, 229 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:52,345 hey, you know, I wanna get to know you better. 230 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,853 We've had some hard times. 231 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,618 Let's do a play together again, 232 00:10:56,656 --> 00:11:00,320 for one performance only... Julius Caesar. 233 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,797 John Wilkes' favorite role was Brutus, 234 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:08,268 the man that executes a tyrant. 235 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:12,261 And Edwin Booth is like, I get to play Brutus. 236 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,968 [orchestral music] 237 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,738 For one performance only, 238 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,746 in the production of Julius Caesar, 239 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:24,410 Edwin said, "Sic semper tyrannis," 240 00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:27,386 and everyone loves it. 241 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,547 Critics said that it was 242 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:32,582 the most important show of all time. 243 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,561 So John Wilkes Booth started getting involved 244 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:38,429 with a secret Confederate society 245 00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:44,131 and had masterminded a plan to kidnap Lincoln. 246 00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:47,902 Uh... 247 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,239 Mm-mm. 248 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,086 So John Wilkes Booth went to the Ford's Theatre 249 00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,510 to pick up his mail, 250 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,571 and John Ford's brother is like, 251 00:11:54,614 --> 00:12:00,144 hey, are you gonna come see Our American Cousin tonight? 252 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,178 Our American Cousin? 253 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:05,590 You guys doing Our American Cousin tonight? 254 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,287 Yeah. 255 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,853 Abraham Lincoln's gonna be here. 256 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,421 You should come. 257 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:15,925 And John Wilkes Booth is like, uh, what? 258 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,871 Abraham Lincoln's gonna be at the theatre tonight? 259 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,931 Oh, my God. 260 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:26,538 I'm gonna change my plan from kidnapping him 261 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,775 to assassinating him. 262 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:31,046 [laughter] 263 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:38,316 So Abraham Lincoln's at the play Our American Cousin 264 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,556 with his wife, Mary Todd. 265 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,187 It's beautiful. 266 00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:46,688 Everything's going perfectly... 267 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:51,103 until John Wilkes Booth... 268 00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,902 comes into their box. 269 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,607 [background chatter] 270 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,084 - Welcome back to Drunk History. 271 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,485 - My dad is a senator. 272 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:16,988 - Wha... Where are we? 273 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:20,467 John Wilkes Booth comes into their box 274 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,026 and shoots Lincoln in the head. 275 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:26,096 After he shot Lincoln, he jumped from the balcony, 276 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,108 breaking his ankle. 277 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,111 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 278 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,204 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 279 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,714 Oh, my... I'm hurting! 280 00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,306 - Really? 281 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,749 [laughter] 282 00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,810 - Ow, ow, ow, ow. 283 00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,582 And raising his knife in the air, 284 00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:46,821 he said, "T' pluribus... unum." 285 00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:48,259 I don't remember what... 286 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:49,626 Ah, fuck. 287 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,939 I can't remember what the fuck it is. 288 00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,261 Oh, I wish I could remember. 289 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:54,665 Wa... Wait, wait! 290 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,671 Sic teramis tempest. 291 00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,400 No more tyranny, 292 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,874 you know, basically. 293 00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:04,139 That's John Wilkes Booth. 294 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:08,672 And he's saying a line from fucking Julius Caesar. 295 00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:11,344 And he's like, this is fucking perfect, 296 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:14,548 and everybody gets what I'm doing right now. 297 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,182 [melancholy piano music] 298 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:20,887 After Abraham Lincoln's assassination... 299 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:24,091 ♪♪ 300 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:28,033 Edwin Booth decides to write a letter to America 301 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:31,595 saying, I'm retiring from acting 302 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:35,130 as a penance for what my brother did. 303 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:40,112 His horrifying act. I'm done. 304 00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:44,140 Five months after Abraham Lincoln is buried, 305 00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:47,119 Edwin Booth is like, I'm back! 306 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:50,749 Everybody relax. I'm doing Our American Cousin. 307 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,315 I know that's the one 308 00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:56,193 that my brother assassinated Abraham Lincoln during. 309 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,789 [chuckles] But that's what I'm gonna do. 310 00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:02,233 And everyone loves it. 311 00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:04,931 And he's back, 312 00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:08,373 because he's kind of egotistical. 313 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,809 No one ever talks about Edwin Booth. 314 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:14,041 - [laughing] 315 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,776 [speaking indistinctly] 316 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:19,445 - Do you guys want me to put a pizza in the oven? 317 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,716 - And a good day to you, sir. 318 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,160 Oh, dude, I heard you have absinthe. 319 00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,255 - Yeah. - I've never had it. 320 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:33,289 Elvis! - Yeah, man? 321 00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,733 - What album do you wanna listen to right now? 322 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,794 - You pick, man, you pick. - Well, you... 323 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,931 - Any of those albums is damn good, man. 324 00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,907 Live at Madison Square Garden, man, 325 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,500 with the fucking thing, man... 326 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:47,981 with the deal of the... Of the... of a girl. 327 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,414 Hello. 328 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,145 Today, we're gonna talk about the day 329 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,621 that the King met Nixon. 330 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,824 My favorite story of all time 331 00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:02,989 is Elvis was out in L.A., and they were at a dinner. 332 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:04,725 And the people he was with were like, 333 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,357 hey, that guy over there is huge 334 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,664 in the voice-over animation world. 335 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,762 But he is a federally licensed narcotics officer. 336 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,501 It's the ultimate badge. You can do anything with it. 337 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,339 You can pull over any car, anything in the world. 338 00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,038 And Elvis becomes obsessed. 339 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:21,547 He walks up to the guy, introduces himself. 340 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:25,416 The guy shows his badge. I am the guy. 341 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,250 I can arrest everyone in here right now. 342 00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:31,917 And suddenly, Elvis is like, I have to have that badge. 343 00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,587 I need that badge. How can this guy... 344 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,220 If he has a badge... 345 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:38,458 Mr. Do The Crazy-Funny Woodcock Voice? 346 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,262 No. I can do it. 347 00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:41,299 It drove him nuts. 348 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,334 Going to Washington. 349 00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:44,200 This badge is fucking happening. 350 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:47,969 Let's go. 351 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:53,077 So Elvis had police lights, would pull people over. 352 00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:54,423 And Elvis is... The whole way, he's been like, 353 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,211 I'm gonna interrogate his ass. 354 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,310 He's gonna regret the day he stole that jewelry, man. 355 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:08,953 [glasses clink] - Cheers. 356 00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:13,126 Mmm! That's got a good taste. 357 00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:16,101 That's... that's a lot to do a shot. 358 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:19,264 - You're insane! Whoo! 359 00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,206 - Yeah, we should've just sipped that. 360 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,640 - Whoo! 361 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:25,645 - Ready? - Okay, buddy. 362 00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,546 Elvis writes a letter to Nixon while on the plane. 363 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:31,449 They land, and he drops it off at the front of the White House. 364 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,975 It was shocking. 365 00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,853 No celebrities want to hang out with Nixon. 366 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,550 So when he reached out, they're like, 367 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:38,853 Elvis wants to meet with you. 368 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,450 This can't hurt matters. 369 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,485 Don't you wanna see what Elvis has to say? 370 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:44,190 Why not? 371 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,392 He's like, yeah, arrange it. Yeah, I wanna meet him. 372 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:47,991 Let's see what's going on. 373 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:50,299 And Elvis comes in. 374 00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:52,703 And Nixon looks at him like, uh, 375 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,297 this is crazy, man. 376 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,070 You dress really crazy, man. 377 00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:57,419 He's like, hey, you have your get-up, 378 00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,071 I have mine, okay? 379 00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:01,239 Nixon's like, yeah, I'm glad you came by. 380 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,840 I wanted to meet you. Uh, good to see you. 381 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,647 And Elvis does the hard sell thing. 382 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,210 He needs the badge. 383 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,516 Well, I care, man. 384 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,232 I care about what's going on with these people. 385 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,884 And I care about the hippies 386 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,120 and everything that's being said right now, man. 387 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,458 It's terrifying. 388 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,463 People that are saying things about you 389 00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:20,466 and, uh, the people that are saying things about me. 390 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:23,298 And that's why I'm happy to be here... man. 391 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,395 But I need this badge. 392 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,463 This is so big for me. I need it. 393 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:29,168 Nixon really takes it in, kind of asks his aide. 394 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:30,676 He's like, can we do this? 395 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,421 And the aide comes back, says, I'm sorry, it's done. 396 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,108 We cannot give this badge. Sorry, Mr. Presley, we cannot... 397 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:39,278 You have no qualifications in our mind to have this badge. 398 00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:40,318 [burps] 399 00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,481 Mm. Sorry, brother. 400 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,080 I'm loving it. 401 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,285 And Nixon decides to give him this badge. 402 00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,453 So Elvis goes back to get photos taken, 403 00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:49,826 but then Elvis is 404 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:54,027 a licensed and registered federal narcotics agent. 405 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,661 So Elvis had police lights, would pull people over. 406 00:18:56,702 --> 00:19:00,298 You have any idea how fast you were going? 407 00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:04,242 Another time, he saw this crazy lunatic guy. 408 00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:05,574 The guy was allowed inside. 409 00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:07,671 And everyone's like, why is this crazy person 410 00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,272 being allowed inside? This is... 411 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,011 He's like, no, no! He's all right, man. 412 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,417 He's okay. He's part of this team. 413 00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:14,930 We're gonna work with him, man. He's funny. 414 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,616 And then Elvis liked him, loved him, 415 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,022 and then got tired of him. 416 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,355 So he said he had to go home. 417 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:22,123 So Elvis was gonna pay for his flight home. 418 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,756 Come back, some jewelry's missing. 419 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:27,460 So they figured out this guy had stolen some jewelry. 420 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,059 Elvis freaks out. 421 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,297 He's gonna regret the day he stole that jewelry, man. 422 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:34,205 He... he messed with the wrong guy. 423 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,209 The guy was about to take off, 424 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:39,770 and then he sees Elvis running next to it in a jumpsuit, 425 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,008 holding a real federal narcotics badge. 426 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:44,279 So the plane stops. 427 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:47,309 They pull the guy out. 428 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,919 Elvis pulled the plane over 429 00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:53,391 to pull this guy off and interrogate him... 430 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:57,761 of which Elvis had a couple random questions. 431 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,322 Where'd you get the jewelry, man? 432 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:03,166 And he just cried and said, I got the jewelry here. 433 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,636 I'm so sorry. 434 00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,481 You shouldn't have taken that, but you're car... 435 00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:08,064 [stammers] All right. 436 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,473 So we're good, man. 437 00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:10,999 Gives him like 200 bucks 438 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,104 and then buys him another ticket out. 439 00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:16,146 And, you know, everything's just a little bit safer 440 00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:19,414 in that part of Memphis. 441 00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,648 You feel it? 442 00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:24,521 Hey! Do you feel it? 443 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,152 Thank you. 444 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,424 - Thank you. - Thank you. 445 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:33,024 - Thank you. - Okay, bye. 446 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,830 [patriotic music] 447 00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:43,867 ♪♪ 448 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,021 He's funny. 449 00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,590 And then Elvis liked him, loved him, 450 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:08,862 and then got tired of him. 451 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:10,130 So he said he had to go home. 452 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:12,764 So Elvis was gonna pay for his flight home. 453 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:16,037 Come back, some jewelry's missing. 454 00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:18,374 - Crap. [laughter] 33059

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