All language subtitles for Family Ties.S07E25_26.Alex Doesn_t Live Here Anymore.eng

♪♪

♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪

Dad, do we have to
rehearse this again?

Just one more time, Andy, to be
sure you know your lines. Okay.

"We're going to the dentist,
we'll be there in a while.

He's really not a menace,
he's there to help us smile."

"He'll clean your teeth
and make them white.

"Your mouth will look like new.

"He'll check your
gums, he'll fix your bite,

"and afterwards,
if you didn't cry,

your mom and dad
can take you to the zoo."

I'm not so sure about
this rhyme, Andy.

Who... who wrote this?

- My teacher.
- It's very good.

It's very, very good.

Hey. What are you guys reading?

Well, it's a school play
about dental hygiene.

Andy got one of the lead roles.

Ooh.

Are you playing the dentist?

I'm the permanent molar.

Oh. That's very good!

That's how Marlon
Brando got his start.

I remember I was in
a dental hygiene play

in, uh, second grade.

We did our production
of Annie Get Your Gums.

I-I played the ingenue.

I was, uh... Jamie
Lee Dental Floss.

I still remember my line.

I'm gonna get
between you two molars

if it's the last thing I do!

Mommy, help!

Jamie Lee, stop
being dental floss.

You're scaring your brother.

Alex isn't here yet, is he?

No. No, not yet.

Good, he's been
driving me crazy lately.

Jennifer, you've got to be a
little more patient with Alex.

He's really worried
about whether or not

he's gonna get this job.

O'Brien, Mathers &
Clark is one of the biggest

investment banking
firms on Wall Street.

This is the big time.

Or, as Alex so lovingly puts
it, his "ticket out of this dump."

All right, I understand
his anxiety,

but-but we live here, too.

I mean, I can't believe he
won't let us use the phone

just because he's
expecting a call

from-from O'Brien,
Mathers & Clark.

Well, he's not here now.

There's no reason
you can't use the phone.

Oh, yeah?

Mallory, put down the phone.

I repeat, Mallory,
put down the phone.

That's better.

This has been a public
service announcement.

And let me tell you,
that's not the worst part

about this whole New York thing.

He's acting like he
lives there already.

Yesterday, I went
to get in the car,

he throws open the
car door, throws me out,

and says, "Find
your own cab, pal."

Well, yeah, all right,

look, I-I'm sure once
Alex hears about this job...

And hopefully gets it...

Everything will be
fine around here.

Well, I hope so, because
if I hear one more word

about New York,
I'm gonna scream.

♪ Start spreading the news ♪

♪ I'm leaving today ♪

You've been a wonderful sister.

♪ I'm gonna be a part of it ♪

♪ Get yourself a
little something ♪

♪ New York, New York... ♪

Alex, that's wonderful.

Yes!

Why are you
congratulating him, Dad?

He didn't sing it that well.

No, Mallory, he got
the, he got the job.

You did get the job, didn't you?

Because you really
didn't sing it that well.

- I got the job!
- Oh, Alex, great, great!

Yes! Yes! Did you
hear that, Mom?

I'm gonna be the
youngest executive

in the history of
O'Brien, Mathers & Clark.

Mom, I am gonna be rich.

That's wonderful.

I'm so excited for you.

Yeah, we hate to
admit it, too, Alex,

but we're excited for you.

Thank you, thank you.

You have something
for me? Thank you.

Yeah, we're excited
for you. How rich?

Well, Mal, you know how
much money Nick is gonna make

in his entire lifetime?

I should pass him by Thursday.

Well, at least you're
staying humble.

Come on, Dad, it's
hard to be humble

when you are gonna
make $75,000 a year.

Alex, that is a lot of
money... It's very impressive...

But don't forget to
ask this question:

will it bring you fulfillment?

Dad, it'll bring it...

it'll clean it...

and it'll have it pressed
for me in the morning.

I can't believe this.

This is a culmination
of all my dreams.

I'm gonna be winging to Gotham,

I'm gonna be hobnobbing
with the bigwigs.

I mean, lunch at the plaza,

date with a different
Rockette every night.

Well, just don't get them mad,

'cause they could
kick the hell out of you.

So I guess this means
you'll be moving to New York.

Well, of course I'll be
moving to New York, Mom.

That, uh... that, uh,
Columbus-to-Manhattan commute

is really a bear.

So, so when will
you go? In the fall?

The f... Mom,
get real; the fall?

They got me.

They know what they got;
they want me next week.

I mean, would you wait
until the fall to get me?

Well, Alex, that's
not enough time.

We have to get
your plane ticket...

No, done, paid for.

We have to get
you a place to live.

Done, paid for.

Well, sheets,
towels, pillowcases.

Done. Taking yours.

Well, Alex, that's
just not right.

I mean, don't they understand,
this really isn't enough time.

Oh, wait, Mom, Mom,

if-if they want him
there in a week,

I'm sure we can get
him out of here in a week.

That's right, Mom.

Alex, I'll be happy
to help you pack.

You want to start now?

Girl, girls, girls, girls.

Now, you're being
very cavalier about this,

but, uh, let's face it,

I mean, someday,
you're gonna miss me.

We know that.

We already miss him.

We're just simply saying that

if you want to
start packing now,

then you want what we want.

Look, look, look.

Let's not, uh,
let's not rush this.

This is a moment to be relished.

Alex, we're all
very proud of you.

Thanks, Dad.

Kind of like to savor
this moment myself.

I can't believe it.

Alex is finally
leaving the nest, huh?

Sprouting wings, flying
out on your own, huh?

Journeying beyond the
borders of Keaton Land...

to the uncharted
regions of the unknown.

Flying against the wind.

Fighting the odds.

Uh, Dad, Dad, we could've
had him out of here by now.

Alex, you okay up there?

You need any
help with your stuff?

No, it's okay,
Dad, I can manage.

Come on, Jen,
let's go. Chop-chop.

Haven't got all day.

Alex, I can't do this.

Alex, she can't
carry all that stuff.

That's right, your sister is
not a Grand Canyon mule.

Thanks for noticing, Dad.

Look, Jen, come
on, one more trip.

All you got left is the dresser.

Alex, I can't
physically do this.

"I can't physically do this."

Come on, do you want me to
live here for the rest of my life?

I'll get that dresser.

Maybe things will
smooth out if I supervise.

Yeah, go on up there, Mom.

There's a load up
there for you, too.

Ow.

Alex.

Dad.

- Come here, come here.
- What?

Anything... you want to
ask me about, uh, life?

As a young man on
his own for the first time.

Not really, Dad, no.

Well, it's just
been... there's been

a fine tradition of father-son
farewell discussions

in the Keaton family.

You may remember
what my father said to me

as I left to venture
out into the world.

"Get out and take
your brother with you"?

Well, I don't remember
the exact words.

But... the important
thing is the sentiment.

Passing of advice from one...

generation to the
other, and, uh, well...

I'd like to do the same
thing for you, my son.

Thanks, Dad.

Uh, all right, well, what
advice did your father give you?

Neither a borrower...

nor a lender be.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

If you swallow an apple seed...

an apple tree will
grow in your stomach.

A bird in the hand...

makes blowing
your nose difficult.

Your mother and I
have done our job well.

Now, Alex...

Alex, when you
get to the big city,

you're gonna be
walking down the street

and some woman may...

sashay up to you...

dressed in some
sort of provocative

and scanty garb.

You mean Aunt Miriam
still lives in New York?

No, Alex, these woman are
even friendlier than Aunt Miriam.

Dad, uh... thanks
for your advice.

Try and keep it in mind.

You know, Alex, you and
I have disagreed on, well...

almost everything, uh...

but one thing I've
always admired about you

is your passion for
what you believe in.

Now, look, when you get
into the business world,

there's gonna be a
lot of pressure on you

to compromise your beliefs.

But, Alex...

don't lose your passion.

More importantly...

don't lose your keys.

I'm gonna miss you, Dad.

Gonna miss you, too.

Listen, hey, uh, one more thing.

Uh-huh?

- Uh, this is for you. No, no.
- Aw, Dad, Dad...

Listen, this is, this is...

Come on, come on, you
take that, you take that.

Look, now, this is...
It's just a little something

to get you started in life.

Your mother and I
want you to have it.

Dad...

$200, Dad.

I-I know.

Now you only owe me $74.50.

- Alex?
- Yeah?

I found this in one of the
boxes in your bedroom.

Were you just gonna take it?

Uh, yeah, well...

I'm sorry, I was, I was
gonna ask you can I have it.

It's, um... it's got a lot of
sentimental value for me.

It's my favorite picture
of you, me and Dad.

Well, fine, sure.

Take it, it's okay.

Well, hey, if you're
gonna be that way about it,

I don't want it.

You take it.

No, no, I've got
a million pictures.

Uh, I don't need
it, you take it.

Mom, believe me, it's no
big deal, one way or the other.

You want it or not?

Hey, look, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you keep
it, get a copy made,

you bring it to New York
when you come visit me.

Well, Alex, um, we're
not just gonna be flying

all over the country
for you, you know.

What's the matter with Mom?

Oh, you know her.

She hates to fly.

Hi, Jen.

What the hell are you doing?

Me?

Well, um...

Well, you know, you, um...

S-Since you're leaving soon,
I just wanted to see your room

the way you like to
keep it once more.

Ah.

It's very nice.

How do you explain
the tape measure?

The tape measure?

Mm.

Well, um...

I'm taking wood shop in school.

Uh-huh.

And I was gonna surprise
you with a new floor.

Well, sorry to spoil
your surprise, Jen.

Okay, I admit it, Alex.

I-I was gonna bring my
stereo in here and turn this

into a music room
after you leave.

I'm sor...

A music room, Jen?

I've calculated the
national debt in this room.

And you're gonna play
the devil's music in here?

Jen, I'm shocked.

I am shocked...
no, I'm dismayed.

No, this room is gonna
stay exactly as it is.

It's gonna be a...

It's gonna be a shrine.

It's gonna be a shrine to me.

And after I'm gone, you
put up the little velvet ropes.

You can bring on the tour
buses and charge a buck a head.

Great. In two years, we'll be
able to buy an ice cream cone.

N-No actual ice
cream, just the cone.

Huh.

No, Jen, I'm telling you,
people are gonna line up

just to see this
autographed picture of Nixon.

Oh, the picture of Nixon...
I'm sorry, I completely forgot.

We're gonna have to
get valet parking now.

You know, Jen, you
always surprise me.

How can you be
so politically naive,

being as smart as you are?

I mean, Jen, you're
almost as smart as I am.

Well, Alex, you know,
since you're leaving soon,

I can break this to you.

I'm smarter than you are.

Obviously, my imminent
departure has clouded

your excellent but
slightly inferior mind.

No, I'm smarter than you, Alex.

Try me.

Oh, come on.

Jen, I'm not gonna try you.

74.9 is the cube
root of what number?

You have five
minutes; take your time.

400,189.75.

That's close.

Exactly.

Annoying.

But interesting.

All I want to know, Jen, is...
what good is that gonna do you

as you stroll through the third
most populous city in Tanzania

purchasing its
three major exports?

Well, it would give
me pause for thought

as I strolled through
downtown Zanzibar

with an armful of
cotton, coffee and sisal.

That is such a lucky guess.

You know, Alex, to be fair,

you did teach me
everything I know.

Uh-huh.

Never do that again.

Why don't we just call it a tie?

I mean, the most
important part about it is...

you've always been there for me.

Tutoring me, pushing
me to do better,

to achieve everything that
I could possibly achieve.

And I thank you for that.

Thanks, Jen.

So, I guess the question is...

what use are you gonna
put all that knowledge to?

Well, I was thinking
of going to law school,

maybe becoming
an anti-trust attorney,

and possibly putting
you in jail in a few years.

Hang on to your dreams, Jen.

I think I'll go now.

Feel much more comfortable
measuring your room

after you move out.

You're a sensitive gal.

Hey, Mallory.

What are you doing?

Me?

Uh...

Well...

with you leaving
and everything, um...

I was feeling nostalgic, so...

You're measuring
it for a music room.

No. Sewing.

No way.

Oh, come on, Alex.

What do you want us to do?

Put up little velvet
ropes when you're gone

and keep it as a shrine?

What kind of a pompous
fool do you take me for?

Oh, forget it.

You know what, Alex?

No. What, Mal?

I guess I'm really proud of you.

I mean, I am.

I am.

I'm very proud of you.

Thanks, Mal.

That means a lot to me.

I mean...

I don't know anything
about what it is that you do.

But I know that
you do it really well.

And I think it's terrific
the way you went out

and-and got what you wanted.

Whatever that is.

And I mean that.

Well, Mal, I'm proud of you.

And I mean that.

Really?

'Cause sometimes I feel like

you don't have
respect for what I do.

Oh, Mal.

Come on, your fashion designs?

You're brilliant.

I mean, you're very talented.

Well, thank you.

Thanks for noticing.

Now that you're leaving,

I want to talk to you
about something.

What's that?

Your overcoat.

Don't get mushy on me, Mal.

You've got to promise me
that when you get to New York,

you will buy a new one...
This one's too stuffy.

Well, Mal, I-I'm going to work
for O'Brien, Mathers & Clark.

They like stuffy.

Their president's name
is Bob "Stuffy" O'Brien.

Alex, you got to listen to me.

Give this one to
Mr. Stuffy and start fresh.

And when you're on Wall Street,

and you're wearing
one of those, uh,

one of your boring, black,
three-piece pinstripe suits,

add a little splash
of color somewhere.

A red handkerchief or a rose
or-or a little button that says,

"I'm really not this dull."

I'm gonna miss you, Mal.

I know.

Well, I'll be the next
one to move out, Alex.

I hope I'm as
successful as you are.

I mean, in fashion.

Not in whatever
it is that you do.

I'll warm up New
York for you, Mal.

Oh, excuse me, Alex.

I didn't know you're in here.

Oh, get down
here, get down here.

All right. Whoa, whoa.

All right.

Hey, we got it.

We got it! We got it!

I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck!

- Who's stuck?
- Well, I don't know,

maybe it's me.

No, I-I'm fine.

All right, then it must be me.

Nice work, gentlemen.

Okay.

Now to the matter of money.

I believe there was a... a
fee discussed for this job.

Uh, well, gee,
Alex, all I can really

afford to give you is
a dollar and a quarter.

We'll call it even, Skip.

Hey, uh, you know, Alex...

this place ain't gonna be
the same without you here.

I mean, when I come
over to talk to you,

you ain't gonna be here.

Won't affect our
conversation any.

No, Alex, he's right.

We are really gonna miss you.

Y-You've been my best friend

ever since you moved in
across the street 18 years ago.

You're-you're like
a big brother to me.

You've taught me
everything I know...

About life, love, romance.

The fact that I still
don't have a girlfriend

and people won't even talk
to me on the 976 party line...

that doesn't change
my feelings about you.

Well, Skippy, it's been
a pleasure knowing you.

You're truly one of the most
unique people I've ever met.

Oh.

Alex, don't go.

Come on, Skippy, get a grip.

Oh, please, Alex, don't go!

This is really beautiful.

Excuse me.

Skippy. Come on.

Come on, Skippy! Come on.

Look, guys, guys, get it
together here, will you?

Look, it's not like you're
never gonna see me again.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
that's true, Alex.

I mean, I am gonna be
your brother-in-law one day.

Let's not jump
the gun here, Nick.

I mean, I mean, you
haven't even asked her yet,

so there's still a
good possibility

that we're not gonna be related.

Oh, oh, hey, hey, hey, Alex,

you know, I've been
thinking about it a lot.

I got the whole proposal
planned out, you know?

Yeah, uh, how about I show
you how I'm gonna do it?

I'd rather not see this.

No, no, no. You know, I
really want you to hear.

That way, in case I
screw anything up,

you can tell me, all right?

Uh... Skip, you be Mallory.

Okay. I can do that.

Just stop me before I
throw me out of the house.

Mallory...

I've been thinking.

We've been together
now for quite some time,

and, uh, I've really grown
quite attached to you.

I've watched you blossom
into a beautiful young woman.

My, is it getting warm in here?

This is like the nuthouse
version of Romeo and Juliet.

When I see you on
the back of my bike,

your lustrous hair
blowing in the breeze...

it just makes me realize

how very much in
love with you I am.

And it just makes me

want to sing one of
my favorite love songs.

♪ Here she comes ♪

♪ Uh, just a-walkin'
down the street ♪

♪ Singing do-wah diddy ♪

♪ Diddy-dum, diddy-do... ♪

I think the key
word here is "dumb."

What I mean is...

Skippy...

will you marry me?

Yes.

It's the best offer
I've had in months.

Oh!

Okay.

I now pronounce
you idiot and wife.

There's a champagne
reception in the kitchen.

This is the happiest
day of my life.

Oh, Nick, this is all so sudden!

This is the happiest
day in my life, too.

Hi.

- Hey, Lauren.
- Hi.

- How you doing?
- Good.

- I heard you were leaving.
- Oh, yeah.

So I stopped by a bakery to
get you a going-away cake,

but they didn't have any,

so I got you this
going-away muffin instead.

I even had them
write a message on it.

Well, that's-that's real
sweet, Lauren. Thanks.

Well, it was supposed to say,

"Good luck in the
Big Apple, Alex,"

but that's all they could fit.

Well, I think "goo"
pretty much covers it.

Mm.

Look, I can't stay long.

I just wanted to wish you
all the best in New York.

Thanks.

So I guess you're finally
gonna get your wish.

You're gonna be rich.

$75,000 a year.

Hey, you heard.

Yeah, well, skywriting is
a very effective medium.

Not to mention the radio ads.

♪ Alex Keaton, 75 grand. ♪

Everybody, can I have
your attention, please?

Appearing tomorrow only at
the Greenvale Grammar School,

I'd like to introduce to you
someone who is very important

in all of our lives...

And a very special
guy in his own right...

Everyone, let's meet and greet

Andrew, the human molar!

Hey! -STEVEN: Oh!

Oh, boy!

Don't eat sweets
or I'll turn brown.

Remember to brush
me up and down.

- Yay.
- That's terrific, honey.

- This costume...
- Let me see.

Yeah. I was so touched
by it, I wrote one for myself.

Um... we can walk on coals

and have ninjas fight us,

but be sure not to get...

gingivitis.

Hey, this is great, sweetheart.

We're gonna have a good time
coming to see you at your play.

Hey, hey, hey,
all right, come on.

Let's go upstairs,
Andy, all right?

Let's get that costume
off, get ready for dinner.

I have a good idea. Why
don't we go out for pizza, okay,

and celebrate Andy
learning his lines.

Yeah.

Also, 'cause I forgot to
get anything out for dinner.

All right, all right.

Well, are you coming?

We're all going
out for some pizza.

Ah, pizza. Uh, no, that
sounds great, Mom,

but I got a lot of important
stuff I got to do tonight.

What stuff?

I-I... you know,
kind of packing up

and moving to the
Big Apple kind of stuff.

I got to, uh, I got
to call my landlord

and make sure he
got my deposit check.

I got to make sure the
electricity's turned on.

I got to call Mayor Koch
about that key to the city thing.

Well, you know, it's only
gonna take us an hour to eat.

Can't you make the calls later?

Uh, Ma, I'd just feel a
little more comfortable

if I got it done tonight.

Okay, fine.

What? Is-is there
a problem with that?

No, no, that's fine. Forget it.

Mom, what's-what's
the matter with you?

I said, nothing.

Look, this is a
very big deal here.

I'm-I'm not just going
across the street.

I'm picking my whole life up,
and I'm taking it to New York.

I swear that's
all I hear lately.

"New York! New York!"

Well, maybe
you've been listening

to a little too much
Sinatra, Mom.

Wonderfully funny, Alex.

What is going on with you, Mom?

Ever since I got this job,

you're treating me like I'm
not a member of this family.

A member of this family
would be going out for pizza,

because that's what the
family is doing tonight.

I can't believe
what I'm hearing!

I have some important
things to do tonight.

Why is that so
hard to understand?

What I don't understand is
the way you've been acting

ever since this whole
job business started.

All right, Mom, fine.

Okay, why don't you just
tell me how I've been acting.

Like an ungrateful, arrogant,

selfish, insufferable little boy

who doesn't have
any time for his family

now that he's become
such a big shot.

Well, if that's the way
you feel about it, Mom,

that's your problem.

No, no, Alex, that
is your problem.

No, that's your problem.

Is there a problem?

Alex refuses to
go out for pizza.

Yeah, that's right, I do.

Call the pizza
cops, haul me away.

Well, you guys
don't have to argue.

I mean, you know, we
can go out for Chinese food.

I can't believe what
I'm hearing here.

You shouldn't
listen to this woman.

She's being
completely irrational!

Hey, hey, hey, don't
talk to me that way.

All right, hol-hold on.
Hold on there, Alex.

I mean, Alex, you're really

forgetting something
real fast, you know?

We have been there for you
financially and emotionally.

- We put a roof
over your head - Oh.

And food on your
plate for 22 years!

All right, okay, all right.
Is that what this is about?

It's about thank you?

Well, thank you,
Mom. Thank you, Dad.

But guess what.

I don't need your food anymore.

And I don't need your roof.

You know, I'm not waiting
till next week to leave.

I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna
watch Andy's play tomorrow night,

and then I'm out of
here the next morning!

Hi, honey.

Hi.

How was your day?

Well, I was kind of tired.

As you know, I didn't
get much sleep last night.

It's not my fault.

Well, I believe it was you
who kicked me out of bed

four times during
the night yelling,

"Is that any way to
treat your mother?"

I'm sorry, Steven.

I-I'm just so upset.

I mean, look, w-we're
great parents, aren't we?

You know, sensitive,
caring, gentle.

I know. I...

I'm not finished!

Uh, sorry.

You were up to, uh, "gentle."

Damn right, we're gentle!

And considerate and patient.

And he... he just
takes it all for granted.

Elyse, there are two
sides to this problem.

No, there are not.

What's the other side?

Alex has a lot of
pressure to deal with.

"Oh, Alex has a lot of
pressure to deal with."

This is his first real
experience away from home.

"This is his first real
experience away from home."

Have you ever
noticed a sarcastic echo

in this kitchen before?

Steven, Alex is going off
to start a whole new life.

He is thrilled.

He is happier than
he's ever been.

And he's only thinking
about one person.

Not you, not me.

He's thinking about him.

He is totally and
completely self-centered.

But he's always been that way.

I know, I know, but why
has he always been that way?

I mean, we're not that way.

Wh... And he has our genes.

Why...?

Why aren't our
genes in him, huh?

I mean, oh, look at you.

Y-You're a wonderful man.

You're warm, you're caring.

Thank you.

I'm not finished! Ugh!

I-I'm sorry.

And-and I am warm
and caring, too.

That goes without saying.

You don't think I'm
right about this, do you?

Elyse, forgive
me, but I don't think

there is a right or
wrong to this situation.

Well, I'm telling you, there is.

Well, I would
disagree with you, but...

But, but, but what, what, what?!

But I'm afraid to.

I don't expect you to
understand, Steven.

You're a man.

Hey, uh, yeah, you're
right about that, Elyse.

Us men... we don't, uh...

we're too dumb to
figure out nothing.

What's this we're sitting at?

Hey, a table.

Knock it off, Steven.

I'm serious.

See...

it's different for me.

I'm a woman.

Duh. What's a woman?

I'm telling you.

Elyse, men have feelings

about these things, too.

Duh. What's a man?

All right. All right, Elyse.

Obvious, I can't talk
to you about this now.

Steven-Steven, wait,
wait. I'm-I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm... I'm just upset
and really confused.

I know you are.

I'm feeling it, too.

But you have got to
talk these things out.

I know.

To communicate.

If not with him, then with me.

Let's-let's face it.

Before you know it,

these kids will all
be leaving home.

It'll be just you and me.

Oh, God, I'm so depressed!

Once you get to know
me, I'm a pretty nice guy.

Steven, I...

I don't mean about
you and me. I...

Oh, I... I love you so
much for putting up with me.

How can I ever thank you?

Please don't kick
me out of bed tonight.

I'll think about it.

Well, look who's here!

The permanent molar.

Please don't bite me!

I won't.

I'm not that kind of tooth, Mom.

Uh, well, uh, actually,
Andy, molars do bite.

I know, as I was once
bitten by my cousin Davey,

who, after several
seasons of semipro hockey,

only had molars.

Why'd he bite you, Nick?

Well, I bit him.

It was a, uh, phase the whole
family was going through.

- Well, why don't we go.
- Yeah.

We don't want to be late.

Alex!

Yeah. I'm ready.

I'll get my coat.

Alex, can I talk to
you for a minute?

Yeah, sure, Dad.

Uh, look, Alex, your
mother is really upset.

I think it would be nice if you
went over and talked to her.

About what?

About whatever it is
that's bothering you two.

Look, Dad, I didn't do
anything wrong, okay?

If anything, she
should be talking to me.

Look, Alex.

Alex, please.

I've found that...

in dealing with your
mother in situations like this,

doesn't matter
who's right or wrong.

I always apologize.

Works like crazy.

Fine, Dad.

Then you apologize.

Alex, why do you
have to be so stubborn?

Why does she have
to be so stubborn?

I asked her.

She answered, "Why do
you have to be so stubborn?"

What'd you say?

I just apologized.

Dad, I appreciate what
you're trying to do here.

I just don't feel like I have
anything to say to her.

Alex, this is so frustrating.

You're just like your mother.

Good evening, everyone.

Would you all please
take your seats?

Thank you.

I think there are
some over here.

Great.

The Greenvale Elementary
School would like to welcome you

this evening to
our production of

The Whole Tooth and
Nothing but the Tooth.

Watch out, teeth.

Here come the sweets.

You can get cavities
from those kind of treats.

Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,

gobble, gobble, gobble,
gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble...

Don't eat sweets
or I'll turn brown.

Remember to brush
me up and down.

We can walk on coals and
have ninjas fight us, but be sure...

Shh, Nick.

Another good checkup.

No cavities!

Yay!

Miss Van Gelder's
first grade class.

Weren't they darling?

Gosh, they grow up so fast.

And now let's welcome Mrs.
Rabino's second grade class,

who will show us a day
in the life of a baby tooth.

Hi. I'm a baby tooth.

I've been here a long time,
and I think I'm getting loose.

Soon it'll be time for me to go!

Soon it's gonna be
time for me to go.

Well, looks like it's
time for me to go.

Sure wish I could
get out of here.

I got to be on
Wall Street by 9:00.

Tooth Fairy, come and get me.

Alex, what's the hurry?

Mom, you know, I
don't think you realize

how valuable I am
in the outside world.

Under a pillow, I'm worth
as much as 25 cents.

Even more on the open market.

But, honey, there's
so much to talk about.

I got to go, Mom.

A permanent tooth is
breathing down my neck.

Besides...

I kind of get the feeling

maybe you don't want
me around anymore.

Of course I want
you around. What...

You're my little baby tooth!

Then how come you
yelled at me yesterday?

Oh, I didn't mean to.

I was angry.

I-I didn't know
what I was saying.

I got to go, Mommy.

Will you come back and visit me?

I can't be flying all
over the country for you.

Listen to me.

Alex? Alex!

Alex!

Mm.

Alex, you forgot
to pack your tie.

Well, it's not like
you don't have others.

Actually, with all your ties,

it's hard to believe
you've only got one neck.

Hi.

Hi.

Why didn't you, uh, go out
for ice cream with the others?

Just didn't feel like it.

I didn't feel like it either.

Well, I'll get out of your way.

Wait a minute, Mom.

I can't take this anymore.

What did I do to make
you so upset at me?

Nothing.

Nothing, honey.

I'm sorry. It's-it's me.

It's-it's all me.

I-I just...

Just what?

Mom, we got to talk about this.

I mean, I'm not
leaving home like this.

What's going on?

W... It's-it's not...

it's not that I don't-don't
want you to be happy.

It's... it's not that I don't
want you to-to be successful

and have everything you want.

I mean, I do. I-I
want you to be happy.

I... I just...

Just what?

Well, if...

if I could keep you
in this house forever,

I would.

I-I don't know what
to say to that, Mom.

Oh.

Nothing to say to that.

Why? What do you say to that?

Uh, it's a crazy thing to think.

It's a crazy thing for a
mother to think. I mean...

I mean, I know what-what
I-I should be doing.

I sh-should've washed your
clothes and packed your bags

and made you a cake, given you
a hug and send you on your way.

And damn it, that's
what I was planning to do!

Mm, I-I just, I
just couldn't do it.

See, Mom...

this isn't all about you.

I'm-I'm the one
who's going out there.

I'm the one who's rushing
into God knows what.

All my life,

I've planned for this moment.

Alex P. Keaton.

Brilliant young
financial executive.

I mean, that's who I'm
supposed to be, right?

What if I don't make it?

What if it doesn't work out?

And I'm finished, Mom.

I mean, that's it.

It was all about nothing.

And that scares
the hell out of me,

and I don't understand why-why
you can't understand that.

I understand it, Alex.

You're scared.

But you're always
scared or worried

or nervous about things, and...

But you always come out on top.

Things always work out for you.

Well, that's great, Mom.

Is-is there something
wrong with that?

I don't, I don't...

Do you resent that?

No.

No, I-I don't resent that.

What I do resent...

is the callous joy you seem to
be taking in leaving this house.

Look, I don't know
what you're talking about.

- W-Wait, I'm not finished!
- Here you go again.

'Cause, see, if it were me

leaving this family,
I wouldn't be going,

"Bye-bye! Bye-bye!
Bye-bye! Kiss, kiss, kiss.

I love you! I'm going
off to my new life!"

♪ Ah, start spreading the
news, I'm leaving today! ♪

'Cause if it were me...

if it were me, it
would break my heart!

It would tear me up!

Well, don't you know
how hard it is for me?!

I mean, don't you know
how hard it is for me

to walk out that door?

Every time I've left this
house, I've always come back,

but this is it, Mom.

And everybody else
seems to understand

how hard that is for me.

Everybody else has
been real supportive...

Dad, Jen, Mal, even
Andy... But not you!

Damn it, why can't
you be happy for me?!

You're my mother!

Yeah.

I'm your mother.

I'm Alex Keaton's mother.

That's what this is all about.

Okay, so we've established
that you're my mother.

See, you don't, you
don't seem to understand

what it's like for me.

See, I feel like I'm standing

on something real
high and looking down

at all the pieces of my
life, and I can see who I am.

And I see this...

this very big part of me
that makes me who I am...

I see that part...

breaking away.

And I know that it's right,

and I know it's supposed
to happen, but...

I don't want to let go.

You're not, you're not
gonna lose me, Mom.

I mean, there's a lot of
big changes ahead, but...

you're still my mother.

You know, I'm still Alex Keaton.

I'm still Elyse Keaton's son.

That's right.

It's not such a bad job, huh?

Are you kidding me?

I got the best mom around.

Remember when
I was a little kid,

and, uh... and you'd come and
pick me up at the playground?

Know what the other kids said?

The other kids would say,
"There goes Alex's mom.

What a knockout."

Go on.

Mom, you-you were the hippest,

coolest, classiest,

best-looking mom around.

Go on.

No, better than that...

I had a mom that'd
always listen to me.

Anything that was bothering
me, I could talk to her about.

Until this week.

Far enough.

I'm sorry.

You know what this
makes me think of?

All those times
when your father and I

would go to open house
at night at your school,

and we'd sit in your classroom.

And I'd-I'd hear these-these
mothers come in, and they'd go,

"Oh, that's Alex
Keaton's mother.

Now, he's the smart one that
the other kids won't play with."

And I'd-I'd get upset.

I'd think, I'm not just
Alex Keaton's mother.

I'm Elyse Keaton.
I'm an individual.

I'm-I'm a person
in my own right.

And then I'd-I'd just
stop, and I'd think,

I love being Alex
Keaton's mother.

It's not such a bad job, is it?

It has its moments.

Well, I should let you
get some sleep, honey.

You've got an
early flight to catch.

Hey, Mom, listen, um, you know,

it could be pretty
crazy in the morning,

so if I don't get a
chance to say this to you,

I want to say it to you now:

I'm gonna miss you so much.

Honey, I'm gonna miss you, too.

I'm glad you're Alex
Keaton's mother.

Um, who am I kidding?

I'm not gonna sleep tonight.

Uh, why don't we go
downstairs to the kitchen,

and-and you can buy
me a cup of coffee.

Well, on your salary,
you better be buying.

No, Mom.

Michele Briganti was
not my first girlfriend.

Ana Krewson was
my first girlfriend.

No, no...

Ana Krewson, um, beat you up

in the back of the
Little League field.

No, see, that was
Michele Briganti.

You're wrong.

So, what, do you
want to bet, Mom?

How much do you want to bet?

Dollar.

A dollar?

Pshaw!

All right, five dollars.

No, it's too much. A dollar.

- It's a bet.
- Okay.

Hey, Dad, Dad, settle a bet.

Hey, Dad!

We... can walk on coals...

or have ninjas fight us...

but be sure not to get...

gingivitis.

Alex. Elyse.

I-I... I was having a nightmare.

I dreamt I was Nick.

How did I get here?

Well, uh, about m-midnight,

you came down to sit and
have coffee with me and Alex,

and we were having coffee,
so you went to the refrigerator

to get some cream, and you
just, you just never made it back.

Oh. Oh.

Cream, anyone?

It's yogurt now, Dad.

Oh, wow, it's 7:15.

Cab should be here any minute.

Alex, uh, look, are-are
you sure you don't want us

to drive you to the airport?

Oh, no, Dad.

This is on, uh, O'Brien, Mathers
& Clark's expense account.

Come to think of it, I may
even tip the driver this time.

Morning, Andy.

You want some breakfast?

Coffee, black, two
sugars, and step on it.

This is ridiculous.

I mean, farmers don't
even get up this early.

Come on, everybody,
let's have a little spirit.

Alex is leaving.

Let's just give him a big,
energetic Keaton send-off, okay?

Well, looks like
we're the only ones

with any stamina
around here, Mom.

These namby-pambies
have nothing on us.

Nah, you tired?

No, I'm fine, Jennifer.

Hello.

Hi.

So you're leaving today, huh?

That's right, Mal.

This is our last morning in this
kitchen together as housemates.

Mm.

Next time we see each other,

a new phase of our
lives will have begun.

I'll be able to
buy and sell you.

Drop me a line.

Oh, there's my cab.

Oh.

Oh, so, uh...

I guess this is it, huh?

The big send-off.

Uh, yeah.

Listen, uh, I-I don't
need any big send-off.

I-I really couldn't take

a big, emotional
scene right now,

so, um, why don't we just

take our leave in
a manner befitting

uh, the youngest executive

at O'Brien, Mathers & Clark.

Dad.

Well, in that spirit,
good-bye, son.

Good-bye, Dad.

Remember, you
still owe me $74.50.

Mom.

It's been fun.

A million laughs.

Pleasure working with you.

Thanks.

See ya, pal.

Hey, send me the picture
of the first guy you step on

as you climb up
the corporate ladder.

You got it.

Uh, just tell her
I've gone, and...

you don't know where I am.

Oh, hey.

Hey, the... I wanted
to give you something.

Be surprised what a
little splash of color will do.

Hey, whoever called for
the cab, the meter's running.

Uh, yeah, that's me.

You know, I like the red.

It makes you look like somebody.

Aha.

Uh... well.

Guess this is it.

Bye.

- Good-bye.
- Bye. -Bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Adios.

Bye.

See you later.

- Bye, now.
- Safe trip.

- I'll call you guys.
- We'll be talking to you.

- We'll be talking to you.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye, Alex. -Bye.

I love you guys.

- Aw.
- Aw, honey.

For the very last time,
we'll be introducing

the, uh, cast of Family Ties.

Courteney Cox!

Scott Valentine!

Marc Price!

Brian Bonsall!

Tina Yothers!

Justine Bateman!

Michael J. Fox!

Michael Gross!

- Hey.
- Hey!

Hey.

And Meredith Baxter-Birney!

Ladies and gentlemen,
Gary David Goldberg.

Thanks for...

for seven wonderful years.

- Bye.
- Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Bye-bye.

Good-bye.

We love you all.

Good-bye, Family Ties.

We sure had some good times.

Hope to see y'all again.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Good-bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye, everybody. I love you guys.

Never say good-bye.

Bye.

Good-bye, everybody.

I'm really gonna miss
you, and I love you.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Good-bye, everyone.

- Bye, guys.
- Bye-bye.

I don't want to have
to say good-bye.

- Good-bye, everyone.
- Bye, everybody.

Good-bye.

Bye, everybody.

Good-bye, Family Ties.

Be sure and write.

Good-bye and thank you.

Good-bye, everyone.

Bye.

Bye, Gary.

- Take care.
- I had a lot of fun.

Bye.

Thank you.

It is good-bye,

but I carry you here.

Good-bye, everyone.

Thank you all very much.

Good-bye.

Hasta luego.

Good-bye, Family Ties.

It was fun.

Bye, everybody at Family Ties.

- Good-bye.
- Bye.

Good-bye, dear friends.

- Bye. -Good-bye. Good-bye.
- Bye.

Good-bye. Thank you.

This has been great.

Never happen again.

Not even gonna look for it.

Bye.

Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.