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00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:06,199
NARRATOR:
Cleveland Brownthought he had it all.
2
00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:08,256
Good morning.
Hey, chief.
3
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,828
Looking good, Mr. B.
4
00:00:09,827 --> 00:00:11,787
[♪]
5
00:00:11,795 --> 00:00:15,045
So, what's it feel like to be
named ad executive of the year?
6
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:18,119
Feels like
1.3 million bucks.
7
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,489
[ALL LAUGH]
8
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,587
NARRATOR:
Until...
9
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:27,459
Does anyone have any reason
why these two should not be wed?
10
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,211
MAN:
I got a reason.
11
00:00:29,212 --> 00:00:30,382
She's dead.
12
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:32,150
[ALL GASP]
13
00:00:32,149 --> 00:00:34,519
[♪]
14
00:00:40,390 --> 00:00:42,290
[SOBBING]
15
00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:44,913
[♪]
16
00:00:52,168 --> 00:00:53,538
NARRATOR:
Cleveland Brown.
17
00:00:58,775 --> 00:01:00,175
Ed Helms.
18
00:01:00,177 --> 00:01:03,147
And introducingJaden Smith's sister
19
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:06,077
as the Zombie Princess.
20
00:01:06,083 --> 00:01:09,123
It's past your dead time.
21
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:12,820
The Cleveland Show:
The Movie in 3-D.
22
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:18,993
See it highor else you won't enjoy it.
23
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,106
[SCREECHES]
24
00:01:21,364 --> 00:01:23,874
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
25
00:01:23,867 --> 00:01:26,177
♪ And I am proud to be
26
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:28,366
♪ Right back
In my hometown ♪
27
00:01:28,371 --> 00:01:30,941
♪ With my new family
28
00:01:30,941 --> 00:01:33,131
♪ There's old friends
And new friends ♪
29
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,437
♪ And even a bear
30
00:01:35,446 --> 00:01:37,706
♪ Through good times
And bad times ♪
31
00:01:37,715 --> 00:01:39,315
♪ It's true love we share ♪
32
00:01:39,317 --> 00:01:41,627
♪ And so I found a place
33
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,695
♪ Where everyone will know
34
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,064
♪ My happy mustache face
35
00:01:46,057 --> 00:01:48,107
♪ This is The Cleveland Show ♪
36
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,379
[LAUGHS]
37
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,677
[♪]
38
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:55,509
Well, guys, good news.
My movie, it--
39
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,175
Hey, cool jacket.
40
00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:59,954
Wait a minute,
you didn't go to Stoolbend High.
41
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,854
Yup, I just got the jacket
this morning.
42
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:05,455
Hold on, is there a half-eaten
Reggie Bar in the pocket?
43
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,029
There was.
That's my jacket.
44
00:02:08,029 --> 00:02:10,199
And that's my TRON helmet.
45
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,777
Finders keepers.
I'm the red guy.
46
00:02:12,782 --> 00:02:15,032
Those are my roller skates.
47
00:02:15,036 --> 00:02:17,096
They're mine now, turkey.
48
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,794
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING ON JUKEBOX]
49
00:02:18,789 --> 00:02:21,659
CLEVELAND:
My cones.
50
00:02:21,659 --> 00:02:22,909
What's going on?
51
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,980
Where'd you guys
get all my stuff?
52
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,059
Your dad's selling it.
53
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,763
There was a sign
in front of his garage
54
00:02:27,764 --> 00:02:30,934
that said he was having a gar...
55
00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:32,274
Some kind of sale.
56
00:02:32,269 --> 00:02:34,639
Anyway, I got all kinds
of trophies,
57
00:02:34,638 --> 00:02:37,008
baby pictures,
this old teddy bear.
58
00:02:37,008 --> 00:02:38,308
Mr. Pumpernickel.
59
00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:41,079
Mommy said you'd run home
to Hugslvania.
60
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,208
Oh, after all these years.
61
00:02:43,214 --> 00:02:44,714
May I hold him?
62
00:02:44,715 --> 00:02:47,015
What's that,
Mr. Pumpernickel?
63
00:02:47,018 --> 00:02:50,048
Oh. He don't wanna see you.
He says you snore.
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00:02:50,054 --> 00:02:51,854
He's a damn liar.
65
00:02:51,855 --> 00:02:53,355
[SOBBING]
66
00:02:53,357 --> 00:02:55,257
Hey, Cleveland,
Cleveland, relax.
67
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,288
I'm your bear now.
68
00:02:57,294 --> 00:02:59,434
[SIGHS CONTENTEDLY]
69
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,399
[SNORING]
70
00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:07,891
I'll give you 30 for it.
Fifty.
71
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,188
Thirty-five.
72
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,889
And that is the highest number
I know.
73
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,482
Fine.
74
00:03:13,477 --> 00:03:14,707
Here's your juicer.
75
00:03:14,711 --> 00:03:17,951
Is it able to make juice
from Reese's Pieces?
76
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,278
Probably.
77
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:22,433
This is a game changer.
78
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,396
[SQUEALING]
79
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:28,136
What's going on here?
80
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,511
Getting a sweet deal
on your childhood stuff.
81
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:31,781
I'm gonna make
a theme park
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00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:34,048
devoted to the greatest man
I've ever known.
83
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:36,608
I'll call it Cleve Land.
84
00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,596
Cleve Land?
That's the worst idea I've e--
85
00:03:39,603 --> 00:03:41,443
Actually...
86
00:03:41,439 --> 00:03:43,409
[♪]
87
00:03:56,786 --> 00:03:57,986
[SPITS THEN GROANS]
88
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,758
This churro is stale.
Party's over.
89
00:04:00,758 --> 00:04:03,388
Forget the whole thing.
Shut it down.
90
00:04:03,393 --> 00:04:05,363
I have a brand to protect.
91
00:04:05,362 --> 00:04:07,762
Wait a minute.
Are those my baby teeth?
92
00:04:07,765 --> 00:04:10,325
Hands off the merch, tubby.
That is not merch.
93
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:13,804
That's my childhood you're
selling. Look at these Mad Libs.
94
00:04:13,803 --> 00:04:17,023
"The farty man walked fartily
down Fart Street."
95
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,194
[CHUCKLES]
96
00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:20,992
Hard to believe I was only 17.
97
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:22,205
I got a Mad Lib for you.
98
00:04:22,212 --> 00:04:24,682
My son blank is a blank hole.
99
00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,382
That is hurtful, Father.
100
00:04:26,383 --> 00:04:28,653
No, this is hurtful.
101
00:04:28,652 --> 00:04:31,422
Ha!
That's two for flinching.
102
00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:32,851
Ow! Dad.
103
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,616
FREIGHT TRAIN:
And one for bitching.
104
00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:37,605
Well, you can't sell my stuff
if you don't have my stuff.
105
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,911
Your junk's been in my house
for the last 25 years.
106
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:44,124
So I'm getting rid of it.
My house, my rules.
107
00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:46,418
But those are my memories.
108
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,300
You're right, Cleveland.
109
00:04:48,305 --> 00:04:50,835
Guess I didn't realize how much
this stuff meant to you.
110
00:04:50,841 --> 00:04:53,611
You can have it all
for 90 bucks.
111
00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:55,860
[GROANS]
112
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,433
Nice doing business
with you.
113
00:04:57,431 --> 00:05:00,231
Anyone ever told you your face
looks like a butt-crack?
114
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,273
Yes, if you must know,
115
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:05,299
a Six Flags caricature artist
once said that.
116
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,105
I refused
to look at the drawing
117
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,337
and I refused payment.
I bought it.
118
00:05:10,676 --> 00:05:12,876
[SINGING TO THE TUNE OF
"THE VENGABUS IS COMING"]
119
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,480
♪ Your face looks like
A butt-crack ♪
120
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,121
♪ Your face looks like
A butt-crack ♪
121
00:05:16,117 --> 00:05:17,847
♪ Your face looks like
A butt-crack ♪
122
00:05:17,852 --> 00:05:19,452
♪ Your face looks like
A butt-crack ♪
123
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,123
♪ Your face looks like
A butt-crack ♪
124
00:05:21,122 --> 00:05:22,862
♪ Your face looks like
A butt-crack ♪
125
00:05:22,857 --> 00:05:24,517
♪ Your face looks like
A butt-crack ♪
126
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,232
[VIDEO GAME BEEPING]
127
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:30,327
Cleve, bro,
master bed's looking nice.
128
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,910
What are you guys playing?
129
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:37,304
WOMAN: I want my son.
MAN: You can't have him.
130
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:40,174
WOMAN:
But you let himfall off that jungle gym.
131
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:42,824
Boom!
You just lost custody.
132
00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:44,286
No visitation.
133
00:05:44,294 --> 00:05:45,764
[LAUGHS]
134
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,232
TIM:
Hungry Hungry Hippos?
135
00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:48,860
They should call this game, uh,
136
00:05:48,866 --> 00:05:51,866
Full of Themselves,
Full of Themselves Hippos,
137
00:05:51,869 --> 00:05:54,799
because, man,
hippos are real jerks, you know?
138
00:05:54,804 --> 00:05:57,044
But they do have
a pretty healthy appetite
139
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,810
so there is
a degree of accuracy there.
140
00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:01,539
Oh, a Mr. Microphone.
141
00:06:01,544 --> 00:06:04,154
Can I have this? If not,
I'm just gonna break it.
142
00:06:04,147 --> 00:06:05,847
You don't even know
what it's for.
143
00:06:05,849 --> 00:06:07,279
Sure I do.
144
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,154
Pretending you're a sports
announcer, local TV pitch man,
145
00:06:10,153 --> 00:06:12,653
or the annoying guy
from Police Academy.
146
00:06:12,655 --> 00:06:14,055
[MIMICS MACHINEGUN FIRE]
147
00:06:14,058 --> 00:06:17,888
[MIMICS POLICE SIREN]
148
00:06:17,894 --> 00:06:19,064
I need work.
149
00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:20,503
[BARKING]
150
00:06:20,497 --> 00:06:22,827
[MIMICS FART]
151
00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:25,202
Go with my blessing.
152
00:06:25,202 --> 00:06:29,642
No way, my old break dancing
cardboard. Can I get a beat?
153
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,910
Ugh. Aw, okay.
154
00:06:31,908 --> 00:06:33,878
[BEATBOXING]
155
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,104
[SCREAMING]
156
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,793
It's the hammy.
It's the hammy.
157
00:06:44,788 --> 00:06:47,368
Cleveland, what the hell
is going on in here?
158
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,644
Hey, lovely.
Everyone, out.
159
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,663
For someone
who's not even in our club
160
00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,232
you got some brass boobs
161
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,400
coming in here
and telling us what to do.
162
00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:56,728
Now!
CLEVELAND: Oh, man.
163
00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:58,334
This sucks ducks.
TIM: Whatever.
164
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:01,365
Don't worry, guys.
My mom's making...
165
00:07:01,372 --> 00:07:02,642
[TIM CHEERS]
166
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,440
So, what do you think
of the improvements?
167
00:07:05,442 --> 00:07:08,412
Cleveland, if I wanted to sleep
in a teenage boy's room
168
00:07:08,412 --> 00:07:10,582
I'd be teaching
middle school in Florida.
169
00:07:10,581 --> 00:07:12,251
I want
all of this out of here.
170
00:07:12,249 --> 00:07:14,149
Fine, I'll take it
to the basement.
171
00:07:14,151 --> 00:07:18,121
But I want your tampons
out of my sock drawer.
172
00:07:18,121 --> 00:07:19,821
Fine, they can stay.
173
00:07:19,823 --> 00:07:24,333
But I want them in their box.
Not just loosey-goosey.
174
00:07:24,328 --> 00:07:26,658
They best not have messed
with my cigarettes.
175
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:30,330
Oh, she's a smoker.
176
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:32,403
That has negative consequences.
177
00:07:32,402 --> 00:07:34,702
But at least
she's enjoying the smooth,
178
00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:37,435
full-bodied flavor
of Carolina Milds.
179
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,480
Carolina Milds,
they'll kill you just right.
180
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,532
Oh, hey, animators.
181
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,511
How's the episode going?
Good.
182
00:07:46,516 --> 00:07:48,646
We're at the part where you
come down to the basement
183
00:07:48,652 --> 00:07:50,392
and ask how the episode's going.
184
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,687
Great,
can I put some boxes down here?
185
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:55,459
What boxes?
Put those back.
186
00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:58,308
Okay, but there's no room
for them down here.
187
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:01,512
Fine, I'll rent a storage unit.
188
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,175
Ha, ha.
Now, knock it off.
189
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,654
Wait a minute.
We're like gods here.
190
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,123
Whatever we draw...
191
00:08:08,122 --> 00:08:10,922
Way ahead of you.
192
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,364
[♪]
193
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,660
This is my childhood
I'm leaving with you
194
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,702
so I'm gonna need
climate control,
195
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,757
a 24-hour armed guard
196
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,826
and those roaming lasers
that protect diamonds
197
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,265
like in that
Catherine Zeta-Jones movie
198
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,841
where it seemed like
she had a nice ass.
199
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,920
They're all pretty much
just cement rooms.
200
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,785
I can find you one that hasn't
been urinated in too much.
201
00:08:31,795 --> 00:08:35,355
Thanks. Must be cool to work
at a storage place, huh?
202
00:08:35,366 --> 00:08:37,166
Store all your stuff for free.
203
00:08:37,167 --> 00:08:38,647
I don't have any stuff.
204
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:39,882
I gave it all away.
205
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:44,016
I plan on killing myself
after this transaction.
206
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,734
So just a left at the elevator
and it'll be on my right?
207
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:47,887
Yeah.
208
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,002
[GUNSHOT THEN BODY DROPS]
209
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:54,628
Hey, Gus.
Oh, hey, Cleveland.
210
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,404
I didn't know
you stored things.
211
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:57,653
Yeah. Just started.
212
00:08:57,654 --> 00:08:59,294
I'm proud of you, man.
213
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,359
You're coming along
real nice.
214
00:09:01,358 --> 00:09:02,818
Thanks, Gus.
215
00:09:02,826 --> 00:09:04,836
CLEVELAND:
I wish Gus was my father.
216
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,345
[BOTH LAUGHING]
217
00:09:08,731 --> 00:09:10,721
♪ Ridey horsey
Up and down ♪
218
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,017
♪ Watch out little boy
Don't fall down ♪
219
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,350
[BOTH LAUGHING]
220
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,886
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
I love you, Cleveland.
221
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,592
I love you too, Dad.
222
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,694
[SIGHS]
223
00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:26,876
Mom, what are you doing here?
Cleveland.
224
00:09:26,883 --> 00:09:29,383
Wha--? Wha--?
Are you living here?
225
00:09:29,385 --> 00:09:31,215
Yeah, we lost the house.
226
00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:33,420
You happy?
227
00:09:33,423 --> 00:09:34,893
Dinner's almost ready.
228
00:09:34,891 --> 00:09:36,061
Oh, my God.
229
00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:38,629
So you weren't selling my stuff
because you hate me,
230
00:09:38,628 --> 00:09:41,558
but because you're broke.
231
00:09:41,564 --> 00:09:42,984
CLEVELAND:
What happened?
232
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,453
FREIGHT TRAIN:
The light's on a sensor. Move your hands.
233
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:47,722
Whee! This is fun.
234
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,591
Oh, my God, you're broke.
235
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,730
Wait for it. Don't move.
236
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:56,697
And there it is.
237
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:00,410
[♪]
238
00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:03,116
You're living
in a storage unit?
239
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,190
Yeah. Bank foreclosed on us
so we moved in here.
240
00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:09,011
What happened to your savings?
241
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:12,138
They're gone, okay?
I got scammed.
242
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,445
Scammed? What was it?
243
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:14,947
A flimflam? Ponzi scheme?
244
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,648
Pyramid? Straw man?
Three-card monte?
245
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,380
Bait and switch?
Smash-and-grab?
246
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,315
Tickle and take? Jerk and jet?
Blow and go?
247
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,620
No, nothing like that.
It was a telemarketing scam.
248
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,524
A ring ring sting?
That's the oldest one--
249
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,786
Oh, my. You've become
a dumb old man.
250
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,156
Oh, this is delicious.
251
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:34,375
Ha, ha!
This makes me happier
252
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,354
than a butterfly
when he runs into
253
00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:38,422
his caterpillar
ex-girlfriend.
254
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,016
Karen?
255
00:10:41,024 --> 00:10:44,034
Oh, hey, Rick.
What have you been up to?
256
00:10:44,027 --> 00:10:47,927
What have I been up to?
I'm flying. I'm freaking flying.
257
00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:51,131
Have fun on the ground
with that drummer, you bitch.
258
00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:53,924
Cleveland, please.
We lost everything.
259
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,460
Mom. Oh, that's right.
You're homeless too.
260
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,787
This makes me sadder
than a butterfly
261
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,763
when he runs into his
caterpillar ex-girlfriend.
262
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:06,532
Have fun on the ground
with that drummer, you bitch.
263
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:09,633
[SOBBING]
264
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,336
Oh, Mom, I'm sorry
this had to happen to you.
265
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,409
You shouldn't be forced
to live like this
266
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,137
because you married a fool.
267
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:20,212
The two of you shall
move into Wilbermore.
268
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,313
My house.
That's what I named it.
269
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,175
[♪]
270
00:11:27,719 --> 00:11:30,449
So I hear you're gonna be
staying in our guest room,
271
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:33,616
which is where Cleveland knows
I practice my recorder.
272
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,086
Don't worry. We'll be
out of your wig soon enough.
273
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,955
In light of your plight,
I'm gonna let that one go.
274
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,965
Oh, like you
let your figure go.
275
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,367
RALLO:
Ha!
276
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,789
Women be eating.
Women be eating.
277
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,787
Am I right, fellas?
Ha, ha. For real.
278
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,060
I mean, like,
I'm dating now.
279
00:11:50,059 --> 00:11:53,129
How much sushi
can a chick eat?
280
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,929
She ordered the unagi.
281
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:58,501
I was like, "How about
you order the u-pay-ee?"
282
00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:00,721
Ha! That's you.
RALLO: Ha-ha-ha.
283
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,100
You got weird kids, tubby.
284
00:12:02,105 --> 00:12:04,705
Yeah, and as long as you're
living under my roof,
285
00:12:04,708 --> 00:12:06,108
you're one of them.
286
00:12:06,109 --> 00:12:09,809
And you've got chores to do,
Tubby Senior. Ha, ha.
287
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:12,353
And your allowance
will be $5 a day.
288
00:12:12,348 --> 00:12:14,278
We could use
some help around here.
289
00:12:14,284 --> 00:12:17,154
There are plenty of things
Cleveland has neglected to do.
290
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,743
I'm afraid I haven't
the back for heavy work.
291
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,039
I collect decorative boxes.
292
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:25,542
But you with your coarse hands
and even coarser manner
293
00:12:25,546 --> 00:12:27,476
were made for manual labor.
294
00:12:27,481 --> 00:12:30,851
So do whatever it is
one does with these things.
295
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:33,590
[MUNGO JERRY'S
"IN THE SUMMERTIME" PLAYING]
296
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:39,515
♪ In the summertimeWhen the weather is hot ♪
297
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,476
[COUGHING]
298
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,182
♪ When the weather's fineYou got women ♪
299
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,022
♪ You got womenOn your mind ♪
300
00:12:48,416 --> 00:12:50,216
♪ Have a drinkHave a drive ♪
301
00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:52,500
♪ Go out and seeWhat you can find ♪
302
00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:55,316
[GROANS]
[LAUGHS]
303
00:12:55,325 --> 00:12:57,255
♪ If her daddy's richTake her out for a meal ♪
304
00:12:57,260 --> 00:13:00,090
♪ If her daddy's poorJust do what you feel ♪
305
00:13:00,096 --> 00:13:01,696
♪ Speed along the lane
306
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,168
♪ You can dineOr return a 25 ♪
307
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,168
♪ When the sun goes downYou can make it ♪
308
00:13:08,171 --> 00:13:10,401
♪ Make it goodIn a lay-by ♪
309
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,540
♪ We're not gray people ♪
310
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:15,043
♪ We're not dirtyWe're not mean ♪
311
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,975
♪ We love everybodyBut we do as we think ♪
312
00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:18,810
[SQUEALING]
313
00:13:18,815 --> 00:13:20,645
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
314
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,395
[GRUNTING]
315
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,104
♪ We're always happyLife's for living ♪
316
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:27,835
♪ Yeah, that's our philosophy ♪
317
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,491
[SOBBING]
318
00:13:29,492 --> 00:13:32,232
♪ Sing along with usDee-dee-dee-dee-dee ♪
319
00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:35,259
♪ Da-da-da-da-daYeah, we're hap-happy ♪
320
00:13:35,265 --> 00:13:37,565
♪ Da-da-da...
321
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:41,247
Whoo! I am famished from
putting Dad to work like that.
322
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,424
Revenge really
brings on the appetite.
323
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,323
That's why so many
super villains eat at buffets.
324
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,286
I never heard that.
Is that a thing?
325
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:49,785
I'll level with you, Dad.
326
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:53,226
I'm not sure what's real
and what's not anymore.
327
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,203
Unfortunately,
this chicken is real.
328
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,871
Real bad.
329
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,670
[ALL PLAYING OUT OF TUNE]
330
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,237
And as for you,
Cleveland,
331
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:04,883
you need to ease up
on your father.
332
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,478
He made a mistake.
333
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,449
You don't need
to keep reminding him of it.
334
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,948
Yes, I do.
He's senile.
335
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,681
[ALL LAUGHING]
336
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,835
You know what? Screw this.
I'm out of here.
337
00:14:14,838 --> 00:14:17,658
Wait, where are you going?
Back to the storage space.
338
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,887
There may be mice there,
but at least they ain't dicks.
339
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:24,093
One is, but he's only got three
legs, so I give him a pass.
340
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:27,256
Maybe to cheer him up, you could
make him three little shoes.
341
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,316
I ain't no
damn mouse cobbler.
342
00:14:30,902 --> 00:14:33,672
What really happened on Thursday
here in Stoolbend, Virginia,
343
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:36,173
that led to Cleveland Bro--
[FLY BUZZING]
344
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:37,475
[CHOKING]
345
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,537
Go on, what the fuck is that?
346
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,946
Shit, I'm dying in this
347
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:45,418
fucking country ass
fucked-up town.
348
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,518
Shit flying in my mouth.
349
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,620
What the fuck?
Can't see. Pollen.
350
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,693
Get the fuck out of this
country, motherfucker.
351
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,563
Wait, Dad. Don't go.
352
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,362
I want to pin a note to you
so when the police find you
353
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:01,365
wandering around disoriented,
they'll know who to call.
354
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,968
You big dope.
355
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,339
[LAUGHING]
356
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,097
Cleveland, stop.
I'm the dope.
357
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,506
I'm the one who lost
all our money. What?
358
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,739
Your father didn't lose
our life savings.
359
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,875
He was taking the rap
to protect me.
360
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,950
I'm the one
who got scammed.
361
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:18,179
[♪]
362
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,854
Oh.
363
00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:22,003
Oh, Cleveland.
364
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:23,535
It's tough when you think
365
00:15:23,539 --> 00:15:26,109
you're getting the best
of your abusive father
366
00:15:26,109 --> 00:15:28,379
when you're actually
getting the best
367
00:15:28,377 --> 00:15:30,847
of your passive,
enabling mother.
368
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,907
What you ought to be doing
369
00:15:32,916 --> 00:15:36,346
is sexually harassing
a series of women
370
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:39,252
and paying them
to keep quiet.
371
00:15:39,255 --> 00:15:40,955
Hey, hey, hey.
372
00:15:43,041 --> 00:15:44,171
[SOBBING]
373
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:47,706
So you're the old dummy
who got scammed? Ha!
374
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,514
All right, I wanna
hear everything.
375
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:52,216
Talk slowly and
don't leave anything out.
376
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,319
A few weeks ago,
I was at the mall,
377
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,991
when this gentleman asked me
if I ever thought of modeling.
378
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:59,919
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
We're off to a good start.
379
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:02,756
And, of course, I thought of it,
but I never had the time.
380
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,362
Uh-huh. Or the face, body,
hair or skin. Go on.
381
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:06,695
He told me that some
382
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,900
of the best modeling
opportunities in the world
383
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,901
were available
right here in Stoolbend.
384
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,143
Right here in Stoolbend.
385
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,519
Before I knew it,
386
00:16:14,524 --> 00:16:16,964
I had spent our entire life
savings on modeling classes,
387
00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:18,859
speech lessons
and head shots.
388
00:16:18,861 --> 00:16:21,561
[♪]
389
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:25,977
Ugh!
390
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,145
So that means Dad...
391
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:31,344
Was covering for my
foolishness to protect me.
392
00:16:31,341 --> 00:16:32,821
He never
rubbed my nose in it,
393
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,985
or called me stupid like
you've been doing to him.
394
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,305
Oh, man. I feel
worse than a butterfly
395
00:16:38,315 --> 00:16:40,075
when he runs
into his caterpillar--
396
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:43,453
No, Cleveland.
One too many? Okay.
397
00:16:43,452 --> 00:16:45,822
[♪]
398
00:16:45,821 --> 00:16:47,791
Knocky, knocky.
399
00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:50,320
If you're here to get shoes,
wait in line.
400
00:16:50,326 --> 00:16:52,556
Why don't you walk around
in those? See how you feel.
401
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:57,246
Actually,
I came to apologize.
402
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,380
Mom told me
she lost the money
403
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:02,166
and you were covering for her.
Yeah.
404
00:17:02,171 --> 00:17:04,111
I'm man enough
to admit when I'm wrong
405
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,467
and it's time
for me to eat crow.
406
00:17:06,476 --> 00:17:07,906
Come on, tubby.
You don't have--
407
00:17:07,911 --> 00:17:09,541
I was able
to do it at home.
408
00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:11,246
I can do it
in front of you.
409
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,407
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
410
00:17:15,717 --> 00:17:17,047
[CLEARS THROAT]
411
00:17:17,053 --> 00:17:19,653
Well, maybe there's another way
I can make it up to you.
412
00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:22,385
Have you ever been to
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?
413
00:17:22,392 --> 00:17:24,642
Not interested.
Okay, okay.
414
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,144
Then how about I help you
415
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,506
get your money back
from that con man?
416
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,514
Haven't you messed with my life
enough already?
417
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:31,576
The money's gone.
418
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:35,398
Well, perhaps you could direct
me to the storage unit
419
00:17:35,405 --> 00:17:38,865
where you're keeping your moxie
because it ain't here, fella.
420
00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:41,535
Dad, this isn't just
about getting your money back.
421
00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,984
This is about
defending Mom's honor.
422
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,300
Even if I wanted to get
our money back, how could I?
423
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,799
I went to the cops.
424
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,300
They said your mother was
a willing, overweight victim.
425
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,173
I've got
three drinking buddies
426
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,501
and we're
always coming up
427
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,136
with schemes that fail
in humorous ways.
428
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:58,582
But maybe not this time.
429
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,358
[♪]
430
00:18:01,363 --> 00:18:02,383
So let's review.
431
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,722
He takes advantage
of unremarkable,
432
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,917
middle-aged women
at the mall.
433
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,949
I think we know
what we have to do.
434
00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:12,405
Are you saying that we get
breast implants
435
00:18:12,408 --> 00:18:14,208
and sex change surgeries
436
00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:16,480
to go undercover
as middle-aged women?
437
00:18:16,479 --> 00:18:18,459
Yes, I am saying that.
438
00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:20,564
It'll be a major
life adjustment
439
00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:22,996
and a more than
considerable expense.
440
00:18:23,003 --> 00:18:27,213
But it cannot be argued
that we all owe it to my mother.
441
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,367
What if we just
dressed as women?
442
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:31,836
Kind of rinky-dink,
but, okay.
443
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,814
[♪]
444
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,216
Stop staring at my legs.
445
00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:41,488
I'm sorry.
They're just--
446
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:43,817
They're just really
doing it for me right now.
447
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,963
I dance. Let's just
leave it at that.
448
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,740
Hmm. There he is.
449
00:18:48,744 --> 00:18:52,464
Anyone ever tell you you look
like a really hot Ving Rhames?
450
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,365
I get John Amos a lot.
451
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,367
How'd you like
to make some money?
452
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:58,469
Let's go.
453
00:18:59,521 --> 00:19:00,941
Excuse me, sir.
454
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,010
I'm easily deceived,
wealthy,
455
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:07,209
and heavily mustached widow
Blanche Kennedy Rockefeller.
456
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:09,613
And I'm Arianna the Bear.
457
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:12,116
"Do this, Tim.
Do that, Tim."
458
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,348
Nag, nag, nag.
I'm Lester.
459
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:15,743
[CHUCKLES]
460
00:19:15,739 --> 00:19:18,939
Let me guess. Your wife or
mother is one of my old clients
461
00:19:18,941 --> 00:19:21,081
who claims
I "stole" her money.
462
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:24,327
That's right. How'd you know?
I've seen this ruse before.
463
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,528
I told you we should've
got the surgery.
464
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,534
That would've
sold this thing.
465
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:33,186
Look, it's not my fault your
ugly mother was dumb enough
466
00:19:33,189 --> 00:19:34,619
to think
she could be a model.
467
00:19:34,624 --> 00:19:35,824
[CHUCKLES]
468
00:19:35,825 --> 00:19:38,485
Anyway,
what I did was totally legal.
469
00:19:38,495 --> 00:19:40,255
There's nothing
you can do about it.
470
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:42,763
Oh, yeah? There's one thing
I can do about it.
471
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,865
Hold my purse.
472
00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:46,797
[GRUNTING]
473
00:19:46,803 --> 00:19:48,973
The challenger
takes a vicious left.
474
00:19:48,971 --> 00:19:51,471
And another left.
Or maybe that's a right.
475
00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:52,944
I don't know which is which.
476
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:56,742
But things are heating up here
in the brawl at the mall.
477
00:19:56,746 --> 00:20:00,046
The conflagration
by the yogurt station.
478
00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:02,550
The war by the Apple Store.
479
00:20:02,552 --> 00:20:05,392
The uppercut
by the Sunglass Hut.
480
00:20:05,388 --> 00:20:07,768
Rallo, I told you
to stay in the hot car.
481
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:10,413
Wait, stop.
Whose kid is that?
482
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,210
Kind of mine. Why?
483
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,211
Are you kidding me? The hair.
484
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,554
The voice.
The wise-beyond-his-ageness.
485
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:20,019
I've seen it many times before
and it always works.
486
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,389
What are you talking about,
Barry?
487
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,718
See?
He makes a good case.
488
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:28,334
You know, I'm kind of a comedy
snob, and he does make me laugh.
489
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,228
Why don't they make
high heels for dudes?
490
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,210
You have no reason
to trust me,
491
00:20:32,215 --> 00:20:35,945
but I am a real agent and this
kid's got something special.
492
00:20:35,952 --> 00:20:37,552
And if you
let me work with him,
493
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:40,553
I can make us all
a lot of money.
494
00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:42,466
I don't know.
Come on, Dad.
495
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,175
He's probably not
gonna scam us again.
496
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:48,647
I can't believe
he scammed us again.
497
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,248
I don't wanna think about
498
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,020
how I'm gonna pay for this
barrel rental.
499
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:55,388
I got it. We'll tell Roberta
we can make her a model.
500
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:56,948
[ALL LAUGH]
501
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,456
Ow, I got a splinter
in my wiener.
502
00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,818
I know, right?
503
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:01,025
FREIGHT TRAIN:
I got them too.
504
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,987
[ALL LAUGH]
505
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,734
[♪]
506
00:21:38,780 --> 00:21:41,720
[English - US - Line 21]
507
00:21:41,770 --> 00:21:46,320
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