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00:00:02,435 --> 00:00:04,545
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:04,555 --> 00:00:06,815
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:06,823 --> 00:00:09,213
♪ Right back
In my hometown ♪
4
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,590
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,805
♪ There's old friends
And new friends ♪
6
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:16,214
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,416
♪ Through good times
And bad times ♪
8
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,018
♪ It's true love we share ♪
9
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,150
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,386
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,762
♪ My happy mustache face
12
00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:28,781
♪ This is The Cleveland Show ♪
13
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:31,049
[LAUGHS]
14
00:00:31,048 --> 00:00:33,368
[♪]
15
00:00:35,986 --> 00:00:38,286
[COFFEE MACHINE BEEPS]
16
00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:40,319
Anyone seen the coffee pot?
17
00:00:40,324 --> 00:00:42,734
[WHIRRING]
18
00:00:45,228 --> 00:00:48,928
[♪]
19
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,276
Ah! Junior, enough.
20
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:56,586
Your stepmother just
washed the floor.
21
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:59,490
Hey, Daddy. I built
this costume to surprise you.
22
00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,764
You created
a powered suit of armor
23
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,362
with a built-in
weapons system
24
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:06,574
and a shoulder-mounted Gatling
gun out of pots and pans?
25
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,597
[CHUCKLES]
26
00:01:07,602 --> 00:01:08,872
Yeah.
27
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:10,620
Hmm.
28
00:01:12,889 --> 00:01:14,759
Ah. Whew.
29
00:01:14,758 --> 00:01:16,988
I've been making
my special blend of coffee
30
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,304
for Donna since the day
we were married.
31
00:01:19,297 --> 00:01:22,447
What on Earth?
Cleveland Brown Jr.
32
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,330
Present.
33
00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:25,254
And stupid.
34
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,902
Relax, Donna. Enjoy.
35
00:01:27,905 --> 00:01:29,235
Mm.
36
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:35,440
Oh, Cleveland, I love you
and your fine dark beans.
37
00:01:35,445 --> 00:01:36,545
Me too.
38
00:01:36,547 --> 00:01:38,647
Wait, are you talking
about his--?
39
00:01:38,649 --> 00:01:41,719
Oh, gross. I'm out of here.
40
00:01:44,086 --> 00:01:45,516
[CRASHING]
41
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:48,790
Morning, Terry.
42
00:01:48,792 --> 00:01:51,862
Here's that hat I borrowed
from you back in eighth grade.
43
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,232
"Ayatollah Buttahola."
44
00:01:54,231 --> 00:01:56,131
Heh-heh-heh.
That's still funny.
45
00:01:56,133 --> 00:01:58,403
Ha-ha. You're right.
Can I borrow it?
46
00:01:58,402 --> 00:02:00,042
Sure.
47
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,197
Ha-ha. I'm gonna go put
it back in its case.
48
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,463
Hey, everybody. Good news.
The hat's back.
49
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,460
[GASPS]
50
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,161
Roberta, what are you doing?
51
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,763
Dumping out your terrible coffee
and making a new pot
52
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,125
like Mom makes me
do every morning.
53
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:17,295
That can't be true.
She loves my coffee.
54
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:21,305
You're a liar, Roberta.
A trashy dresser and a liar.
55
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:22,719
And you're an idiot.
56
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,326
Mom just doesn't want
to hurt your feelings
57
00:02:25,329 --> 00:02:27,499
by telling you
your coffee sucks.
58
00:02:27,498 --> 00:02:29,878
[SOBBING]
59
00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:33,587
I can't believe I trusted her.
60
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,487
Oh, fainting couch already
paying for itself.
61
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,220
Hmm. Comfortable.
62
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:41,385
[SNORING]
63
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:45,902
So, what do you say during
nap time I crawl on your mat
64
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,899
when Mrs. Lowenstein
isn't looking?
65
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,701
We could kiss each other
on the...
66
00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:54,067
...mm, lips.
67
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:55,294
Eww!
68
00:02:55,292 --> 00:02:57,862
What the--? What'd I say?
69
00:02:57,862 --> 00:03:01,802
Bernard, Theodore.
You all see that? She crazy.
70
00:03:01,799 --> 00:03:04,469
What you expect? You just ate
a booger in front of her.
71
00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:05,728
That ain't cool.
72
00:03:05,736 --> 00:03:08,686
Why not? Boogers are fun,
free and delicious.
73
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,589
Besides, that guy's doing it
and he looks pretty cool.
74
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:16,026
Ah, chow fun.
75
00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:18,310
Yeah, well,
girls don't think it's cool.
76
00:03:18,315 --> 00:03:19,945
They think it's gross.
77
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,750
And if you don't quit
eating them boogers,
78
00:03:21,751 --> 00:03:23,851
you ain't gonna
score no more.
79
00:03:23,853 --> 00:03:25,643
Ain't gonna "score no more"?
80
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:26,669
[GULPS]
81
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:29,544
That was the booger.
I swallowed it.
82
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,293
[♪]
83
00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:36,500
Roberta, would you pass
the water?
84
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,740
There will be no passing water
at the table tonight.
85
00:03:39,737 --> 00:03:43,737
I've made you something
else to drink, Donna.
86
00:03:45,675 --> 00:03:48,675
[♪]
87
00:03:50,346 --> 00:03:54,376
A cup of my special,
much-loved coffee
88
00:03:54,384 --> 00:03:59,194
for my special,
much-loved wife.
89
00:03:59,189 --> 00:04:02,959
Cleveland, you'd have no way
of knowing this, but I--
90
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,140
I drank a pot
of coffee before dinner.
91
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,126
[GROWLS]
92
00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:11,284
That was supposed to shatter.
Imagine that it shattered.
93
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,494
All right,
I'm imagining it.
94
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:14,917
[GRUNTING]
95
00:04:18,607 --> 00:04:24,377
D-- Donna, drink my coffee,
96
00:04:24,381 --> 00:04:28,821
which you love.
97
00:04:28,819 --> 00:04:32,889
As you wish.
98
00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:34,560
[SIGHS]
99
00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:41,408
[GRUNTS THEN GAGS]
100
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,415
[GROANING]
101
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,798
She doesn't
care for the coffee.
102
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:52,188
[GROANING]
103
00:04:52,193 --> 00:04:54,293
I can't do it.
104
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,804
Aha. I knew it.
You hate my coffee.
105
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,297
You lied to me.
You're a liar.
106
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,969
Junior, imagine
her pants on fire.
107
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,549
[GRUNTING]
108
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,441
[GASPS]
109
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,590
Oh.
I can't do anything right.
110
00:05:09,592 --> 00:05:11,782
No. You did good
on the pitcher.
111
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,779
Look what you and your lies
are doing to this family.
112
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:19,552
What else are you hiding, Donna?
If that's even your name.
113
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,753
Cleveland, please.
114
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:21,954
You're acting more paranoid
115
00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:24,316
than a roach checking
into a roach motel.
116
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,724
You're saying
the mini-bar is free?
117
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:26,726
That's right.
118
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,987
And international calls are...?
119
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,926
Complimentary.
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
120
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:33,651
I see that your logo says,
"Roaches check in,
121
00:05:33,650 --> 00:05:34,780
but they don't check out."
122
00:05:34,784 --> 00:05:35,954
Because they love it.
123
00:05:35,952 --> 00:05:38,622
Okay.
124
00:05:40,356 --> 00:05:42,956
Oh, son of a bitch!
125
00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:45,759
[♪]
126
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,232
Let's see what we got.
127
00:05:47,231 --> 00:05:49,551
Oh, yeah.
I feel you hiding up in there
128
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,649
against that cartilage.
129
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:52,872
[♪]
130
00:05:52,869 --> 00:05:55,339
Rallo, what are you doing?
131
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,459
I have a booger-eating habit.
132
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:01,859
Rallo, would you believe me
if I told you
133
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,762
I once had
a booger-eating habit?
134
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:06,063
I'd be more shocked
if you didn't.
135
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,496
Well, I quit
and started working on myself.
136
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:11,402
And since that day,
I've lost 85 pounds.
137
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:14,674
The first 60
was booger weight, but still.
138
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,385
Dang, how'd you do it?
139
00:06:16,393 --> 00:06:19,083
I can show you,
but there's no turning back.
140
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,049
I'm gonna take you
to dark places
141
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:24,118
that you never knew existed.
Are you up for that?
142
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,317
I think so.
Are you up for that?
143
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,690
Yes, sir.
144
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:30,157
I'm just gonna eat
this last one.
145
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,087
The hell you will.
146
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:36,032
You in my world now.
147
00:06:36,030 --> 00:06:39,250
[♪]
148
00:06:42,285 --> 00:06:43,145
[GASPS]
149
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,623
Oh, hey, Donna.
150
00:06:44,622 --> 00:06:47,012
Remember when I called you
at work on Tuesday
151
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:50,377
and I asked how your day was,
and you said it was fine?
152
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:53,147
Then that night at dinner,
I asked you about your day
153
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:56,247
and you said it was okay?
Which was it?
154
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,080
Goodnight, Cleveland.
155
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,645
Is it a good night?
156
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,693
Or will I find out tomorrow
that it wasn't a good night
157
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,860
and that you had Roberta
throw it out
158
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,488
and make you
a whole new night?
159
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,093
Oh, would you please get over
this stupid coffee thing?
160
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,026
I'm going to sleep on the couch.
161
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:14,231
Are you? Or is the couch
gonna sleep on you?
162
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,174
Are you having an affair
with the couch?
163
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:18,100
Is the couch a better
lover than me?
164
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,995
What else are you
hiding from me?
165
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,366
All right, fine. You wanna
know what else I'm hiding?
166
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:24,606
Robert and I never finalized
our divorce,
167
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,181
so you and I
are not legally married.
168
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,700
[GASPS]
169
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,898
Is-- Is that true?
170
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:31,670
Yes.
171
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:34,198
Unh. If I knew where
my wedding ring was,
172
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,704
I'd take it off in disgust.
173
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:38,606
But since I don't,
I'll just take off my socks.
174
00:07:38,609 --> 00:07:41,579
These mean nothing.
175
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:46,100
[♪]
176
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:48,420
My whole marriage
has been a sham.
177
00:07:48,418 --> 00:07:50,148
Donna claims
she just found out
178
00:07:50,153 --> 00:07:52,293
that Robert didn't sign
the divorce papers
179
00:07:52,288 --> 00:07:55,718
but after Coffee-gate,
I don't know what to believe.
180
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,526
So Donna's single?
181
00:07:57,527 --> 00:07:59,707
What? No. I'm single.
182
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,683
Donna's still married
to Robert.
183
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:04,021
Damn it. I mean, for you.
184
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,177
Wait a minute.
If I'm single,
185
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,946
that means I can go out
and party.
186
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:11,465
There's this new club called
Into The Wild. Heard it's sick.
187
00:08:11,475 --> 00:08:13,135
You can get a 20-dollar
bottle of vodka
188
00:08:13,143 --> 00:08:15,213
brought to your table
for like 800 bucks.
189
00:08:15,212 --> 00:08:18,232
Boys, tonight we are
gonna get out there
190
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:19,562
and have some rowdy,
191
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:22,396
just-short-of-cheating-on-Donna
fun.
192
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:23,432
Yeah.
Yeah, buddy.
193
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,566
I'm on a boat.
194
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:27,391
[♪]
195
00:08:27,391 --> 00:08:30,311
Loaf of bread, container milk,
stick of butter.
196
00:08:30,311 --> 00:08:33,811
Loaf of bread, container milk,
stick of butter.
197
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:37,324
Loaf of bread, container milk,
stick of butter.
198
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,547
A secret stash.
I knew it.
199
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:41,954
Ah!
200
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,655
Look at yourself.
I am not giving up on you.
201
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,208
There's gotta
be one here somewhere.
202
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:48,480
This is your bottom, Rallo.
You're quitting.
203
00:08:48,478 --> 00:08:50,658
[YELLING]
204
00:08:54,049 --> 00:08:57,419
Love gonna set you free,
my brother.
205
00:08:57,421 --> 00:09:00,121
Love gonna set you free.
206
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:03,193
[SOBBING]
207
00:09:03,193 --> 00:09:06,833
Junior, g-give me a moment.
208
00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:09,900
I just wanna say goodbye.
209
00:09:13,936 --> 00:09:17,236
♪ My love
210
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,780
♪ The nuggets of my life
211
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:24,377
♪ I pick you
And it picks me up ♪
212
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:30,200
♪ My crusty, salty wife
213
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:38,330
♪ How I love your sweet goo
214
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:41,908
♪ To roll you around
And eat you ♪
215
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,565
♪ You gave this man
The best few years ♪
216
00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:49,467
♪ Of his young life
217
00:09:49,473 --> 00:09:51,173
♪ It's not love ♪
218
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:53,485
♪ And it's not lust ♪
219
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:57,313
♪ I want to eat your moist parts
And your crust ♪
220
00:09:57,314 --> 00:10:00,534
♪ But, baby, baby, baby
221
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,273
♪ I gotta flick you goodbye
222
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:07,090
♪ Oh, you gotta flick me
Goodbye ♪
223
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:10,610
♪ Wait a minute
Not so fast ♪
224
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,810
♪ You can't smear me
Under the table ♪
225
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,184
♪ With the past
226
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:19,482
♪ I hold your life together
I'm the paste ♪
227
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:20,945
♪ Ooh
228
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,464
♪ Put me in your mouth
229
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,687
♪ Enjoy my moist
Forbidden taste ♪
230
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:31,645
♪ Lift your finger up and dig
231
00:10:31,648 --> 00:10:35,148
♪ What your nose hair's
Wearing as a wig ♪
232
00:10:36,519 --> 00:10:38,689
♪ It's not love ♪
♪ No, it's not ♪
233
00:10:38,688 --> 00:10:40,288
♪ And it's not lust ♪
♪ Oh, you know it
234
00:10:40,289 --> 00:10:43,359
♪ I want to eat your moist parts
And your crust ♪
235
00:10:43,359 --> 00:10:47,359
♪ I wanna be inside you
♪ But, baby, baby, baby
236
00:10:47,363 --> 00:10:50,133
♪ I gotta flick you
♪ Yeah, you gotta flick me
237
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:52,453
♪ Yeah, I gotta flick you
238
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,022
♪ Ooh
239
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,920
♪ Goodbye
♪ Goodbye
240
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,134
♪ Ahhh
241
00:11:01,793 --> 00:11:04,903
But I'm your booger, sugar.
242
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,546
Oh, gross, man.
243
00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:11,323
[WHIMPERING]
244
00:11:11,321 --> 00:11:13,121
[GAGGING]
245
00:11:13,122 --> 00:11:15,512
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE]
246
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,980
I love this place.
247
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,759
Cheap drinks, loud music,
248
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:24,684
dance floor packed with nothing
but happy, well-groomed guys,
249
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:28,554
bowls and bowls of condoms,
a pinball machine.
250
00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:31,719
Wait a minute.
251
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,655
Fat chicks?
252
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:34,640
[GASPS]
253
00:11:34,644 --> 00:11:36,544
This is a gay bar.
254
00:11:36,546 --> 00:11:39,306
What? No way.
Gay bars are gay?
255
00:11:39,315 --> 00:11:42,225
Now, now. There's nothing
wrong with gay people.
256
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,195
And there's
also nothing wrong
257
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,544
with getting
the hell out of here!
258
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:51,693
Do you mind
if I dance with your date?
259
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,159
Men are jerks.
260
00:12:18,103 --> 00:12:19,603
[SIGHS]
261
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:23,306
Junior's worked too hard for me.
Not gonna let him down.
262
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,380
Not gonna let myself down.
263
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:26,438
Huh.
264
00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:30,253
[♪]
265
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,250
[BOTH SCREAM]
266
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,272
[ROBERTA SCREAMS]
267
00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:36,070
Junior, how long have
you been in here?
268
00:12:36,072 --> 00:12:38,422
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE]
269
00:12:44,463 --> 00:12:47,233
I had no idea
how fun life is
270
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,303
when guys are buying
all your drinks.
271
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:53,142
No wonder women are always
so happy and easygoing.
272
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,169
I know. You wouldn't think
these fellas
273
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,614
would share
my political views
274
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,110
but they sure lit up
when I told them
275
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,181
I'm a hardcore tea bagger.
276
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,829
Beat up the beat.
Fist pumping like a champ.
277
00:13:02,832 --> 00:13:05,752
Well, y'all, it's been fabulous
and thanks for the Palmtinis
278
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,522
but I need
to get home to my lady.
279
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:11,641
Mm. And what
a lucky lady she is.
280
00:13:11,641 --> 00:13:14,341
Good-bye, Cleveland.
281
00:13:14,344 --> 00:13:15,984
[MEN MOANING]
282
00:13:15,979 --> 00:13:19,679
Pardon me, fellas.
Hot soup coming through.
283
00:13:19,682 --> 00:13:20,672
[LAUGHS]
284
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,027
Look at those
two Seacresting out.
285
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:25,265
A few hours ago,
that would've shocked me.
286
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,222
But now, nothing can surprise--
287
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,723
Terry Kimple?
288
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:29,965
[GASPS]
289
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,256
Oh, Terry.
Oh, Terry, Terry, Terry.
290
00:13:33,263 --> 00:13:37,203
Oh, Terry, Terry, Terry.
291
00:13:40,502 --> 00:13:44,612
Oh, Terry, Terry, Terry.
292
00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:49,825
[♪]
293
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,160
Terry,
are you a homosexual?
294
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,125
I don't know.
Been with a lot of hot women.
295
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,515
Yay!
296
00:13:56,519 --> 00:13:58,319
Been with a few hot dudes too.
297
00:13:58,321 --> 00:13:59,971
Boo.
298
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,293
And then, I met Paul here.
299
00:14:01,291 --> 00:14:04,091
Ever since then,
it's been Terr and the Bear.
300
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,344
[GROWLS THEN CHUCKLES]
301
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,106
So, am I gay?
Hell, I don't know.
302
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,345
He's gay.
303
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,570
You know, I don't want
to judge Terry,
304
00:14:12,569 --> 00:14:16,469
but the Bible says that all
gay people are going to hell.
305
00:14:16,473 --> 00:14:19,473
It also says
that animals don't have souls,
306
00:14:19,476 --> 00:14:21,736
so I-- I don't know
what I'm talking about.
307
00:14:21,745 --> 00:14:22,935
I don't know
why you're acting
308
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,446
so uptight
about this, Cleveland.
309
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,447
Twenty minutes ago,
you were dancing in a cage,
310
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,949
lip-synching
to the Pet Shop Boys,
311
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,381
and having
the time of your life.
312
00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:31,215
Maybe I was on Ecstasy.
313
00:14:31,221 --> 00:14:33,651
You know what bugs me
about this whole thing?
314
00:14:33,656 --> 00:14:35,616
Neither of you seems gay.
315
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,955
Gays should make their gayness
obvious to everyone,
316
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,102
like Paul Lynde
or Adam Lambert,
317
00:14:41,098 --> 00:14:43,658
or every conservative
politician ever.
318
00:14:43,666 --> 00:14:45,426
Would it make you feel better
if I told you
319
00:14:45,435 --> 00:14:47,365
I was a receptionist
at a hair salon?
320
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:49,000
Yes, it would.
Well, I'm not.
321
00:14:49,005 --> 00:14:51,605
I'm a building contractor.
Dang.
322
00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:54,407
Yup, we build discos
and public baths.
323
00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:55,440
There you go.
324
00:14:55,445 --> 00:14:56,275
I'm kidding, Cleveland.
325
00:14:56,279 --> 00:14:58,049
We built
the new football stadium.
326
00:14:58,047 --> 00:15:00,327
Oh, I peed in there.
327
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,133
Look, Cleveland, I'm sorry
I didn't tell you sooner.
328
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,966
But now that things are out in
the open, we can double-date.
329
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,812
You and Donna should
come over for dinner.
330
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,507
We would,
but Donna's getting fat,
331
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:14,310
so we're trying
to stay away from food.
332
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,554
[PLAYING "SHE'LL BE COMING
AROUND THE MOUNTAIN"]
333
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,096
Donna,
you're not gonna believe this.
334
00:15:23,106 --> 00:15:25,836
And apparently, I'm not
gonna learn this song either.
335
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,612
Terry Kimple's gay.
336
00:15:27,610 --> 00:15:31,730
And Mary had a little lamb.
These are things we know.
337
00:15:31,732 --> 00:15:34,032
[PLAYING "MARY HAD
A LITTLE LAMB"]
338
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,874
We do?
How did you know Terry was gay?
339
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,400
You know Chad
who cuts my hair?
340
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:41,105
Oh, that gay guy who
probably likes sodomy?
341
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,617
Yeah, he and Terry
lived together
342
00:15:42,625 --> 00:15:44,885
before you moved back to town.
I figured you knew.
343
00:15:44,894 --> 00:15:47,904
But, Donna, Terry's
always gotten lots of girls.
344
00:15:47,897 --> 00:15:49,197
I mean, back in the day,
345
00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:51,529
he was the Rock Hudson
of Stoolbend High--
346
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,334
Oh.
347
00:15:53,336 --> 00:15:54,316
[CHUCKLES]
348
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,350
Come on, Cleveland.
349
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,794
Who cares if he's gay?
350
00:15:56,790 --> 00:16:01,130
I care. Which is why I told them
that you and I have no interest
351
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,857
in eating dinner
at Paul's house.
352
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,502
Cleveland, don't lump me
in with your close-mindedness.
353
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,198
You're acting like a homo--
Oh. Don't you call me that.
354
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:12,240
Let me finish.
--phobe. A homophobe.
355
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:16,268
Oh. That's ridiculous.
My best friend Terry is gay.
356
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:18,835
Get back here,
you little snot-sucking dwarf.
357
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,345
Look who's talking,
you hungry, hungry hypocrite.
358
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,207
What are you
two scrapping about?
359
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,476
He told me not to eat boogers.
I was trying to help him.
360
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,315
But then I saw him eating.
Can't a man relax?
361
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,961
Hey. No argument.
Okay, you listen to me.
362
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,528
You want to pick your nose?
Fine, that's great.
363
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,097
Just do it in your room
behind closed doors.
364
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:40,097
I don't wanna hear about it.
And I don't wanna see it.
365
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,700
What you do in your bedroom
with your body is your bus--
366
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,702
Oh, all right,
I guess we're going to dinner.
367
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,395
And I guess we are too.
368
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,736
Yay!
369
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:54,153
[♪]
370
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:57,777
Dinner is served.
Grilled cheese and spaghetti.
371
00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,454
Wow, you guys aren't like
the gays on TV.
372
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,053
Where are
your Bette Midler posters?
373
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:03,524
Beth who?
374
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,933
Bette Midler.
She's wonderful. Google her.
375
00:17:06,927 --> 00:17:08,557
Dumb gays.
376
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,961
So I hear you guys
are getting remarried.
377
00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:13,534
Or never were married,
or something.
378
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,253
Well, one of us was not
officially divorced.
379
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:17,592
Not important who.
380
00:17:17,587 --> 00:17:19,117
Man, you breeders
are so lucky.
381
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,492
We'd love to get married.
382
00:17:20,489 --> 00:17:23,159
And you can if we bring
gay marriage to Virginia.
383
00:17:23,159 --> 00:17:24,229
You think we could?
384
00:17:24,227 --> 00:17:25,557
Why not?
385
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:28,431
Terry, we're gonna bring
gay marriage to Virginia.
386
00:17:28,431 --> 00:17:30,701
Let's do it.
387
00:17:30,699 --> 00:17:32,349
[♪]
388
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:33,572
[CROWD YELLING]
389
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,761
Did they go for it?
390
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,930
No. And this is
just wrong, Cleveland.
391
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,560
Terry and Paul's love
is just as valid as ours.
392
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,266
Well, uh...
393
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:51,747
If you guys wanna get married,
let's all go get married.
394
00:17:51,755 --> 00:17:55,455
Let's have
a double wedding in Vermont.
395
00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:56,988
Uh, Donna, shut the hell up.
396
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,193
What do you say, Paul?
397
00:17:58,194 --> 00:18:01,234
I say, "Ask me to marry you,
you son of a bitch."
398
00:18:01,231 --> 00:18:02,801
No!
399
00:18:02,799 --> 00:18:04,499
Ask me.
400
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,200
You ask me, you bastard.
401
00:18:06,202 --> 00:18:08,302
All right, fine.
402
00:18:08,305 --> 00:18:11,005
Terry Kimple,
will you marry me?
403
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,807
[GRUNTS]
Yes.
404
00:18:13,775 --> 00:18:15,025
[BOTH LAUGHING]
405
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:18,158
How far do you think
they're gonna go?
406
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:20,214
[♪]
407
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:27,373
[GRUNTING]
408
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,273
These pants don't fit.
409
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:32,235
They're a 44. They fit.
410
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,105
Just give me my sweatpants.
411
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,153
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
412
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:37,678
Paul, what's wrong?
413
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:40,254
It's Terry.
I can't find him.
414
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,093
I think he got cold feet.
415
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,098
Is that a gay thing?
416
00:18:43,106 --> 00:18:45,366
Tying up your ankles,
cutting off the circulation?
417
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:49,335
What? No. He left me a note.
I don't understand it.
418
00:18:49,346 --> 00:18:51,976
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
419
00:18:51,982 --> 00:18:53,982
you're not
the first lady-- Man--
420
00:18:53,984 --> 00:18:56,484
Human, Terry's pumped
and dumped.
421
00:18:56,486 --> 00:18:58,716
That's not the Terry I know,
Cleveland.
422
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,751
He's the most thoughtful man
I've ever met.
423
00:19:00,756 --> 00:19:02,716
Heck, on my birthday,
he turned my living room
424
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,425
into a live butterfly garden.
425
00:19:04,427 --> 00:19:06,987
Just because I once said
I liked butterflies.
426
00:19:06,996 --> 00:19:11,176
Wow, well, good luck, Paul.
I have a wedding to get to.
427
00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:13,953
Cleveland, you know
what you have to do.
428
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,523
Fine, I'll marry Paul.
429
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,022
Marry Terry?
430
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,994
Uh, go find Terry.
431
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,834
So you're marrying that guy
for the second time?
432
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,900
I have children.
433
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:28,648
Lassie.
434
00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:30,941
Lassie.
435
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,237
Wait, what am I doing?
I've wasted four hours.
436
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:34,669
Terry.
437
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,174
TERRY:
Over here.
438
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,192
What are you doing
out here skinny-dipping
439
00:19:39,195 --> 00:19:40,385
when you're supposed to be--
440
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:41,556
Is that a tire swing?
441
00:19:41,564 --> 00:19:42,734
Uh-huh.
442
00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:44,032
Whee!
443
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,787
So I guess the gay experiment's
over, huh?
444
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,331
My life is not an experiment,
you intolerant ass.
445
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,187
Well, that's a little sharp.
446
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,706
And if you're
so sure of yourself,
447
00:19:57,713 --> 00:20:00,313
why are you here instead
of at the wedding chapel?
448
00:20:00,316 --> 00:20:02,026
Because marriage is scary.
449
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,285
Terry, I've known you
for 35 years
450
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:07,147
and you never even bought
a chick a cheeseburger.
451
00:20:07,156 --> 00:20:08,186
So?
452
00:20:08,191 --> 00:20:10,261
You built Paul
a butterfly garden.
453
00:20:10,259 --> 00:20:12,429
Oh, man. He told you that?
454
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:13,988
That's embarrassing.
455
00:20:13,996 --> 00:20:16,326
Terry, this whole thing's
embarrassing.
456
00:20:16,332 --> 00:20:19,532
But, I'm your best friend
and I want you to be happy.
457
00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:22,435
And I think you found
your soul mate in Paul.
458
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:25,408
And, Terry,
when you find your soul mate,
459
00:20:25,408 --> 00:20:27,678
you should marry him.
460
00:20:27,677 --> 00:20:31,477
Cleveland, thanks, buddy.
461
00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:35,918
I've come a long way.
462
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:45,875
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
463
00:20:46,911 --> 00:20:48,151
I love you.
464
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:51,547
I love you.
465
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:54,671
Cleveland, what you did
today was a good thing.
466
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:56,541
I'm so proud of you.
467
00:20:56,539 --> 00:20:57,939
Thank you, Donna.
468
00:20:57,941 --> 00:21:00,441
But enlightenment
is its own reward.
469
00:21:00,443 --> 00:21:02,683
You may now
kiss your husband.
470
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:03,808
Ah!
471
00:21:05,714 --> 00:21:07,724
[♪]
472
00:21:38,747 --> 00:21:41,717
[English - US - Line 21]
473
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:46,317
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