All language subtitles for The Cleveland Show s02e12 Like a Boss.eng

♪ My name is Cleveland Brown

♪ And I am proud to be

♪ Right back
In my hometown ♪

♪ With my new family

♪ There's old friends
And new friends ♪

♪ And even a bear

♪ Through good times
And bad times ♪

♪ It's true love we share ♪

♪ And so I found a place

♪ Where everyone will know

♪ My happy mustache face

♪ This is The Cleveland Show ♪

[LAUGHS]

[♪]

[RUMBLING]

[ALL YELLING]

Hey, guys. Ready for
the Super Bowl party next week?

I am.

[♪]

♪ Super Bowl, Super Bowl
Super Bowl, ho-ho ♪

♪ Pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa
Pa-pa-pa, par-party ♪

♪ Is happening Sunday

[LAUGHS]

Super Bowl.

Yeah.
I'm ready for some foosball.

[GROANS]

I got our Super Bowl party
all planned out.

Big-screen TV here,
bratwurst launcher over there.

Beer bucket, puke bucket,
beer bucket, puke bucket.

We'll make sure
to label them this time.

I hope the halftime
entertainment's

better than it was last year.

[PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]

ALL:
♪ Tweet

♪ Twee-dee-de-dee

♪ Tweet
Twee-dee-de-dee ♪

[BELL RINGS]

So now that we've all agreed

not to tell anyone
about the spanking,

let us commence
the changing of the guard

of the class turtle.

[PLAYS FANFARE]

Rallo Tubbs, please place
your hand on this Amazon Kindle

with the Bible loaded on it
and recite the oath.

I, Rallo Tubbs, do solemnly
swear to protect this turtle

and feed him the pellets

that look the same going
in as they do coming out.

In the name of the Father,
the Son--

Now, there's no need
for any of that hocus-pocus.

By the power vested in me,

I grant you custody of the class
turtle, Turt Russell.

Julius.

[♪]

And bring on the ladies.

Ooh. You're so nurturing.

I like turtles.

[♪]

There we go.

Lined the cage with USA Today
so he can poop on poop.

Now, so I can monitor
what's going on in here--

JUNIOR [OVER RADIO]:
Turtle, turtle, turtle.

I'm Cleveland Brown Jr.
Most people call me Junior.

Not to be confused
with the mints.

[LAUGHING]

Why aren't you looking
at me, turtle?

Hey, I'm over here.

Hey, quit tapping on the glass.

Who said that?

Who do you think, fool?
[GASPS]

Oh, my God.

You're a talking turtle.

Uh...

Yes. Yes, I am.

Ha-ha. Ain't I a stinker?

I don't know. Are you a stinker?

Uh, no, I am not a stinker.
Gotta go.

Whew. Saved it.

Saved what?

Aah!

[♪]

There's cake.

There's cake.

There's cake.

Do you remember when
she perioded in her white pants?

Yeah, poor thing.

I know. I feel bad for her.

[ALL CHATTERING]

Man, I can't believe that
Tom has been here for 25 years.

What a legacy.
What a waste of a life.

Thank you. Thank you all.

I hope there's another
25 years ahead of me.

[GAGGING]

Oh, my God. He's choking
on this dried-out, lonely cake.

I think it's good.

[GROANS]

[CHOKING]

[ALL GASP]

He's dead.

I get his desk chair.

I call the glass-fronted
bookshelves.

I want that
leadership poster.

[ALL YELLING]

[♪]

Agh!

[WHIMPERING]

MAN:
In the midst of life we are in death.

Of whom may we seek for...
[SOBBING]

You know, with Tom,

Waterman's gonna need to hire

a new intraregional
junior associate

managing assistant
co-vice-president

of Marketing Solutions
Digital Division.

I was thinking
about submitting for that job.

But, then I thought, "No."

But then, I thought, "Why not?"

But then, I thought,
"No, who cares?"

And then I forgot
all about it until now.

And now I'm thinking,
"Yeah." But I don't know.

Terry, you should do it.

Just think,
if you were the boss,

you could promote
me to being your boss,

and then I could promote you,
and so on, etcetera.

Pretty soon,
we'd be running the place.

Hell, why wouldn't Mr. Waterman
give me this job?

He's always offering
to give me all types of jobs.

[HUMMING]

Oh, this is gonna be great.

My best friend's gonna
be my new boss.

Hooray!

Hooray, Tom's in heaven.
Doesn't have anymore problems.

Paradise.

[♪]

But with Australia,
it's two armies every turn.

One point of entry.

You control Australia,
you control the world.

Even though in real life,

those people
are drunken beach trash

who are always on vacation.

RALLO [OVER RADIO]:
All right, enough Risk.

Well, I've been talking
about myself so much.

Tell me something about you.

Here's what you need to know
about me. I'm broke.

What do you need money for?

I want a pool cue.

Cool. My brother Rallo's been
asking for one of those too.

Listen, man,
if you're not a jerk,

you'll put the money
on my shell.

Feels a little light.

That's more like it.

Now, there's a stack
of turtle homework

in Rallo's backpack.
Go do it.

Turtle homework?

Yay!

Cleveland, they just
delivered 10 kegs of beer

for your Super Bowl party.

We can't afford this.

Don't worry, Donna.

When Terry gets that promotion,

he'll give me a big fat raise,
cut my hours.

He'll do whatever
I tell him to.

He will be no more
than my puppet.

Cleveland, you do realize
that if you got that promotion,

you could do all
that stuff yourself

and make even more money
in the process?

Be my own puppet you say?
Interesting.

Party over here.

Oh, that's nasty.

Hooray!

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Ugh. Creepy.

And then I would become

the first lady
of Waterman Cable.

Well, technically,

Lydia Waterman
is the first lady.

Then I would be the Jill Biden
of Waterman Cable.

I'd be the Jill Biden
of Waterman Cable.

And I'd finally be able
to tell all those bitches

at the supermarket to suck it.

We'd be untouchable.

Cleveland, you have
to apply for that job.

You're right, Donna.

I can't let anyone
stand in my way.

I've gotta be ruthless,

like Bob the Builder
before his morning coffee.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

Terry, I have
a confession to make.

I also applied for the job.

I know.
I have a confession too.

I urinated
in your coffee.

[GULPS]

It's time to announce which
of you blue-collared dolts

is about to take the name off
his shirt and put it on a door.

The winner of the promotion is:

Tim the Bear.

Yeah.

Wowie Zowie.

Thank you, Lloyd.

You know, three days ago,

when you told me
I got this job,

and made me promise
not to tell anybody,

I thought,
"This guy is hilarious."

Now, don't think of me
as a 2000-pound killing machine,

who now has
the ability to fire you.

Think of me as your friend.

[CHEERING]

[GROWLING]

So, Tim, I think I'm coming down
with a little beer-itis, huh?

Hey, come here.

[COUGHS]

Now you've got it too.

What do you say
we take the rest of the day off?

Uh, that's a big negatory
there, good buddy.

We're gonna need to stay
a little later tonight

to get everyone caught up
to the snuff, as it were.

How late?

Well, I don't know,
like 6:30.

[STAMMERING]

Six thirty?

No!

[ALL GASP]

Tim, that shook me up real bad.

I'm gonna need to leave early.

Six thirty.

[GROANS]

[♪]

Man, yesterday,
Tim had the nerve

to ask me how many
installs I've done.

Excuse me?

I used to come to work to relax.

Now it's the most stressful
part of my day.

Tell me about it.
I might shoot this place up.

Not you guys.
You guys seem cool.

[CHUCKLES]

You know what? Make sure
you wear red on Friday.

I've always thought
you were neat, Chad. A neat guy.

And if you think about it,

if you shoot up
the office on Monday,

the survivors would probably
get the rest of the week off

instead of just the weekend.

Just my two cents.

Okay, guys,
that's your 15-second warning

to wrap up your break.

I'm looking at you,
Cleveland.

You're supposed to be installing
cable in a house, not--

Not cheese Danish
in your mouth.

Ten seconds.

Ten seconds? Oh.

[TIMER RINGS]
[CLEVELAND GROANS]

Oh, Donna. I didn't know
you'd taken a second job

as a gas station attendant.

Good for you.
Excuse me?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot that poor people

fill up their own cars.

Ever since Timothy
got his promotion,

I'm a full-service gal.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to buy my milk

at the gas station
where we know it's overpriced.

DONNA:
That could've been my life.

Why did I say no to Tim
after that block party?

Cleveland, Terry,
can you, uh--

Can you come
in here for a second?

I wanted the two of you
to see something.

To increase the productivity,

I have installed what are
commonly called "nanny cams"

in each repair truck.

I told you that teddy bear
wasn't always there.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[CAR DOOR OPENS]

Their cable went out.

We were there on business.

I had the flu.

[GROANING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

Ha, ha.
Yeah.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Don't remember that.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

BOTH:
Ooh.

We were entertaining
a Japanese dignitary.

Ahem. Cleveland, you're fired.

[GASPS]

Is what I should say.

But because we're friends,

I'm just gonna reduce
your salary by,

let's say, uh, 15 percent.

Fifteen percent?

That's my tipping money,
plus an extra 10 percent.

[♪]

♪ If you refuse me, honey

♪ You lose me
And you'll be left alone ♪

♪ Oh, baby, telephone
And tell me I'm your own ♪

[PANTING]

RALLO:
One more time. This time backwards. Ha-ha!

[GROANS]

[SINGING WORDS BACKWARDS]

Damn, kid's got chops.

[GROANS]

Cleveland, what happened?

[PANTING]

Donna, it was terrible.

Tim had us work
eight hours in one day.

With only an hour for lunch.

I had to take up smoking
just to take breaks.

And now I'm hooked.

It's like a legal high.

[INHALING]

Oh, these things are amazing.

Donna, remind me
to buy cigarettes

for the Super Bowl party,
and lots of them.

Aah! My vice.

[SOBBING]

Look at you.
This isn't the man I married.

The man I married
wouldn't get pushed around,

while his wife has to watch
a bear buy gas station milk.

But, Donna, what can I do?

You have to get him to see
that your friendship

is more important
than that promotion.

And then he'll step down
and you can steal the promotion.

Hurry, Cleveland, before Arianna
gets a brick pizza oven

and I have to kill myself.

Take me. Take me right here.

CLEVELAND:
And boom goes the dynamite.

[♪]

Knock, knock, have a sec?
I do.

Nobody likes you.
What?

Look, I'm just saying,
there are some things

that are more important
than this promotion.

Friendship, for one.

Are you saying that you're not
going to be friends with me

if I keep this job?

Your words.

Ow.

Ow.

I will pay for those.

Aah! Bitch!

Attention everybody.
Two things.

First, Chad, you're fired.
Too creepy.

I will turn your face
into a toilet bowl of blood.

Yeah, see, that's what
I'm talking about right there.

Please leave.

The second thing is that I can
tell morale is pretty low

because of the recent round
of layoff.

So we are going on a mandatory
work retreat all weekend long.

Bus leaves in one hour.

Work retreat? But we're gonna
miss the Super Bowl.

Cleveland, do something.

Are we really
gonna take this?

Do you think
there'll be cake, Cleveland?

Shh. Shh.
Calm down everybody.

When, in the course
of human events,

your boss starts
acting all mean--

Hang on.

You can either bend over
and take it

or you can fight back.

Who wants to bend over
and take it?

Well, I shouldn't have asked,

because we're gonna
fight back

because I am not about to miss
my Super Bowl party.

You're having
a Super Bowl party?

I didn't invite work people
because that would ruin it.

Okay, everyone remember,
we all hate Tim.

We don't like his ideas.

ALL:
Mm-hmm

Okay, Boo Boo,
who brought the picnic basket?

[CHUCKLES]

I'm kidding.
It's okay for me to say that.

But that's
a negative stereotype

that we-- That we've been
fighting for years.

So, uh,
hand me your personal

and team goals forms
on your way out.

Tim is no good.

Okay,
"F-bomb the fat bear."

Okay, "F-bomb you,
F-bomb you,

F-bomb your mom."

Oh, I guess my dad
was on the bus somewhere.

Okay, okay, now,
for the first team exercise,

let's build a latrine.

Let's not and say we did.

TIM:
Jeez Louise. When did Cleveland become such a wit?

It's gonna be hard
to compete with him out here.

You got to do something,
Tim the Bear.

Maybe it would help
if I think about this

in my native language.

[GROWLING]

That's it, scavenger hunt.

Okay, let's have
a scavenger hunt.

Everybody pair up.

Cleveland,
you're on my team.

Why?
Because I don't trust you.

Or myself around his wife.

Oh, why couldn't Donna
have said yes to me

at the block party?

[♪]

♪ Got a brand new cue stick

♪ Gonna play pool

Oh, my God, Turt. Where's Turt?

Rallo, we gotta talk.

There's a few things
you gotta know about Turt.

One, he could talk.
Two, he was a dick.

And, three, I put him
in the storm drain.

What? Oh, God.

He was my responsibility.

Oh, Mrs. Lowenstein
is gonna kill me.

[♪]

I'm gonna throw these
down the storm drain too.

They're acting all weird.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

So how many things
on the list did you find?

None.

Well, how hard did you look?
Not hard.

You know, Cleveland,
you might want to think

about, uh, changing
your 'tude, dude.

You're an idiot.
This whole weekend's an idiot.

I'm going back to camp.
Give me the map.

What map? I thought
you had the map.

Oh, my God, we're lost
in the woods.

Oh, God. Okay, okay, okay.

It's okay, it's okay.
Just breathe.

What are you worried about?
You're a bear.

I'm scared of the woods.

Why do you think I bought
a house, man?

Aah! Dead leaves. Dirt.

[WHIMPERING]

Look at you.

You stink in the office
and you stink in the woods.

You're a bum. You're not even
good at being a bear.

Oh, yeah? Well, you have
a bad work ethic.

Yeah, I went there.

How dare you?

I ran a Rhode Island
delicatessen

that Big Fat Paulie
went into one time.

I didn't even want
this stupid promotion.

Arianna wanted it.

Hey, you want the job so bad,
you be the boss.

I don't wanna be the boss.
Donna wanted me to be the boss.

Wow.

I guess if it weren't for
our horrible nagging wives,

none of this
would've happened.

Huh.
I guess you're right.

Once again,
it's our wives' fault.

Hey, you know what I'm thinking?
That we could swap wives?

What? Oh, God, no.

I was thinking if we put
our heads together,

we could find
our way back to camp.

What do you say, boss?

You mean "friend."

Friend.

[GUNSHOT]

[GASPS]

Hey! Did we used
to work together?

Good news. We're gonna make it
back in time for the Super Bowl.

And then I told him to sing
it again, and he did,

and then he got cross,

and he threw Turt
down a storm drain.

But it's all my fault
and I'm sorry,

and I hope I haven't
lost your trust forever,

because our relationship

means the world to me,
Mrs. Lowenstein.

The world.

Come with me.

I'll let you in
on a little secret.

The class turtle has gone home

with 11 different
children this year,

and not one has brought it back.

But that's impossible.

Not when I have these.

What's going on here?

Why are you giving out turtles
if you know we gonna lose them?

To teach you kids that you're
too young to have sex.

If you can't take care
of a turtle,

how are you supposed
to take care of a baby?

I'm not. I'm 5.

Exactly. So keep it
in your pants, mister.

Okay.

Now here, take Turt Russell 13

and bring him
to school tomorrow.

Or don't. They're just turtles.

Watch.

[♪]

Huh?
Yay. Yay.

Mrs. Lowenstein,
you're all right.

Super Bowl.
[CROWD CHEERING ON TV]

I got 5 grand on the line.

MAN [ON TV]:
Heads.

Heads? Ah, crap.

Well, the joke's
on my stupid bookie.

I don't have 5 grand.

[♪]

[♪]

[English - US - Line 21]

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