Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,519 --> 00:00:04,789
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:04,788 --> 00:00:07,058
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:07,057 --> 00:00:09,407
♪ Right back
In my hometown ♪
4
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,830
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:11,829 --> 00:00:14,049
♪ There's old friends
And new friends ♪
6
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,448
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,650
♪ Through good times
And bad times ♪
8
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,252
♪ It's true love we share ♪
9
00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:22,393
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,619
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,985
♪ My happy mustache face
12
00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:29,014
♪ This is The Cleveland Show ♪
13
00:00:29,012 --> 00:00:31,282
[LAUGHS]
14
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,801
[♪]
15
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,867
[LAUGHING]
16
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,362
Ladies and gentlemen,
17
00:00:41,358 --> 00:00:46,928
welcome to the annual Stoolbend
High carnival/gun exchange.
18
00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:49,030
[HORN HONKS]
19
00:00:49,032 --> 00:00:50,472
[LAUGHING]
20
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,168
[ALL LAUGHING]
21
00:00:52,169 --> 00:00:54,939
Hey, y'all, it's me,
Coach Brown the Clown.
22
00:00:54,939 --> 00:00:58,909
Who likes balloon animals?
Okay, here we go.
23
00:01:00,209 --> 00:01:02,109
A dog.
24
00:01:02,112 --> 00:01:03,482
Okay.
25
00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,151
How about a giraffe?
26
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,249
But I followed the book exactly.
27
00:01:12,755 --> 00:01:15,215
Hey there, young man.
What's your wish?
28
00:01:15,225 --> 00:01:17,855
I wish I was invisible.
29
00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:23,231
Okay, you will be invisible
starting now.
30
00:01:23,233 --> 00:01:25,473
Hey, where did that kid go?
I'm right here.
31
00:01:25,468 --> 00:01:26,668
Who said that?
32
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:30,520
Sweet. Guess I don't need
these no more.
33
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:31,623
[LAUGHING]
34
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:41,604
[♪]
35
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,941
[LAUGHING]
36
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:45,517
Hey, Tim, your wife
is a ballbuster.
37
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,392
Yeah. And she has a lot of anger
38
00:01:48,392 --> 00:01:49,992
and she takes
it out on me, so,
39
00:01:49,993 --> 00:01:52,733
yeah, that's my life. Yeah.
40
00:01:52,730 --> 00:01:57,530
Mm, 1920s flapper,
the ideal woman.
41
00:01:57,535 --> 00:01:59,795
She looks sexy
and she can't vote.
42
00:01:59,803 --> 00:02:02,913
Cleveland, where's Roberta?
We were supposed to do our song.
43
00:02:02,907 --> 00:02:06,007
Hang on. Let me check my GPS
tracking device.
44
00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:08,810
Oh, yeah. She's at the corner
of Who Cares Street
45
00:02:08,812 --> 00:02:12,312
and I Don't Give A Crap
Memorial Boulevard South.
46
00:02:12,315 --> 00:02:13,215
[CROWD CLAPPING]
47
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,747
Bear? More like a cougar.
48
00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:16,752
[GROWLS]
49
00:02:16,753 --> 00:02:19,353
Am I right, fellas?
MAN: No.
50
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:22,166
Okay. Now it's time to play:
51
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:25,506
Who Can Sit on a Block
of Ice the Longest.
52
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:26,952
[FANFARE PLAYS]
53
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,607
[CROWD CHEERS]
54
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:31,315
Gentlemen, I wanna see
a clean sit.
55
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,848
No hop outs,
farts or clenching. Go.
56
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:39,356
[GRUNTING]
57
00:02:46,115 --> 00:02:49,685
Oh. I can no longer live
on my cold sack.
58
00:02:49,687 --> 00:02:50,787
I'm out.
59
00:02:50,788 --> 00:02:52,018
Hurray!
60
00:02:52,022 --> 00:02:53,962
We have a winner.
61
00:02:53,958 --> 00:02:56,928
And the grand prize
of a romantic weekend for two,
62
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,057
or two romantic weekends
for one,
63
00:02:59,062 --> 00:03:02,732
at Virginia's most
exclusive/only spa
64
00:03:02,732 --> 00:03:05,572
goes to Cleveland Brown.
65
00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:09,768
I'd like to dedicate this win
to the troops overseas.
66
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,173
This is what
you're fighting for.
67
00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:14,275
[CROWD CHEERING]
68
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:17,983
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
69
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:20,732
Roberta,
where have you been?
70
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,404
We were supposed
to do our song hours ago.
71
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,603
Oh, gross.
It's Mrs. Tubbs
72
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,566
from the principal's office
talking to me.
73
00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,514
Oh, damn.
Ha-ha!
74
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,840
As if she's not her mom.
75
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,845
[SHRIEKING GIGGLE]
76
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,577
I don't get it. We performed
that song for years.
77
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,153
You loved singing with me.
78
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,101
When I was 12.
79
00:03:40,104 --> 00:03:41,444
[ALL LAUGHING]
80
00:03:42,405 --> 00:03:44,835
Dear Lord.
I feel more pathetic
81
00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:47,141
than character actor
Jackie Earle Haley
82
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,184
trying to pick up chicks.
83
00:03:49,179 --> 00:03:51,459
Hey.
Hey.
84
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:54,034
I'm a movie star.
What have you been in?
85
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,274
Ever see
Little Children, Watchmen,
86
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,439
or the remake
of Nightmare on Elm Street?
87
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,708
Yeah.
I played the child molester,
88
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:01,737
the serial killer,
89
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,912
and the serial-killing
child molester.
90
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,441
Oh.
91
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:07,706
[GROANS]
92
00:04:08,897 --> 00:04:10,127
Hey.
93
00:04:12,601 --> 00:04:13,671
Hm.
94
00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:15,701
DONNA:
Cleveland, I need to talk.
95
00:04:15,706 --> 00:04:17,466
[INHALES]
96
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,208
[GASPING]
97
00:04:24,214 --> 00:04:26,284
All right, fine.
What is it?
98
00:04:26,283 --> 00:04:27,883
I'm upset.
99
00:04:27,885 --> 00:04:30,065
Getting stood up by Roberta
really hurt.
100
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,700
Ha-ha. Feelings.
101
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:35,305
Donna, all kids eventually grow
away from their parents.
102
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,779
Except Junior,
who has no need to rebel
103
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,277
because I am,
104
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:43,179
to quote the T-shirt he gave me
for my birthday, a "Rad Dad."
105
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,453
Watch this.
106
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,801
Junior, get in here.
JUNIOR: Coming.
107
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:52,135
Ahem. No.
This is a daddy bath.
108
00:04:52,142 --> 00:04:53,942
[GROANS]
109
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:56,393
Junior, is there anything
you'd like to share?
110
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:59,896
Perhaps something deeply
intimate and personal.
111
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:03,599
Well, there is this girl
at school I like.
112
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:04,423
Mm-hm.
113
00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:06,641
And I rub my armpit
on her locker.
114
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:07,839
Okay.
115
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,611
And as long as
we're being honest,
116
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,409
I should tell you
that one time
117
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:13,041
when I was wearing
your underwear,
118
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,676
I had an accident
and threw them out.
119
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:15,911
Uh-huh.
120
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:19,415
Oh, and I call an AM radio
station every night,
121
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:20,919
and pretend
to be a history teacher
122
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,050
at a local high school,
123
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,885
who dedicates Miley Cyrus songs
124
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,460
to the sophomore girl
he's having an affair with.
125
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,190
I try to imagine what it feels
like to be the girl--
126
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,196
Ah, ah, ah. That's enough.
For God's sake, that's enough.
127
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,199
Okay, Daddy.
128
00:05:36,101 --> 00:05:38,801
You see, Donna, if you had
parenting techniques,
129
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,335
as exemplary as mine,
130
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,710
Roberta would be wearing
your underwear,
131
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,239
which would hang comically
132
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,914
and loosely off
her slender frame.
133
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,963
You know, as much as
I hate to take advice
134
00:05:48,965 --> 00:05:51,025
from a grown man
who takes a bath,
135
00:05:51,034 --> 00:05:53,974
I will make more of an effort
to relate to Roberta.
136
00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:55,640
You'll get there, Donna.
137
00:05:55,639 --> 00:05:57,469
Now, grab me my towel
with the hood
138
00:05:57,474 --> 00:05:59,574
that makes me look
like Cookie Monster.
139
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,776
[GROANS]
140
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:02,978
Thank you.
141
00:06:02,979 --> 00:06:05,009
Now, hold my hand
while I pull the plug
142
00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:07,054
so I don't go down the drain.
143
00:06:07,050 --> 00:06:09,400
[♪]
144
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,440
Thanks for taking me
to that terrible movie.
145
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,520
I loved it.
146
00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:16,834
I'm glad we get to spend
some time together.
147
00:06:16,827 --> 00:06:18,457
You know I'm not just
your mother.
148
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,062
I can also be your friend.
149
00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:21,903
So how are things
with Federline?
150
00:06:21,898 --> 00:06:24,768
We're having problems,
but were fingering it out.
151
00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:26,548
What?
We're figuring it out.
152
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,123
I would never cheat on Fed,
153
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,921
but I did give
this other guy my number.
154
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,014
Look at us bonding.
155
00:06:32,008 --> 00:06:34,038
So this boy goes
to Stoolbend High?
156
00:06:34,043 --> 00:06:35,583
Well, no.
157
00:06:35,579 --> 00:06:38,299
Diego dropped out to get
his garbage man license.
158
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,398
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
159
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,470
At least he's working.
160
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:44,598
Yeah. I mean, he's gotta
feed his kids somehow.
161
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:45,985
This boy has children?
162
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,859
Mom, he's not a boy.
He's 24 years old.
163
00:06:48,859 --> 00:06:49,639
What?
164
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:52,837
Sorry, sorry. My fault.
165
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:56,006
Twenty-four? Roberta,
you are 15.
166
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:59,116
I forbid you to have any more
contact with this man.
167
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,549
You can't stop me.
168
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:03,724
I've been texting him throughout
this entire conversation.
169
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,464
Give me your phone right now.
170
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:07,510
[SCREAMS]
171
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:09,381
Give it. You are grounded.
Do not touch me.
172
00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,179
Double grounded.
I'll elder-abuse you.
173
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,910
Go on, step to me.
CROWD: Jerry! Jerry!
174
00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:14,846
Now, my final thought.
175
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:18,021
Is it too late to do
a Jerry Springer reference?
176
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,021
Hasn't he been done to death?
177
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:23,123
And why the hell was he ever
famous to begin with?
178
00:07:23,126 --> 00:07:25,126
It's because of you people.
179
00:07:25,128 --> 00:07:27,158
You're all trash.
180
00:07:27,163 --> 00:07:29,303
We'll be right back.
181
00:07:29,298 --> 00:07:32,078
[♪]
182
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,595
Now, when we arrive at the spa
183
00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:36,503
is there a room where
I can store my hats?
184
00:07:36,506 --> 00:07:37,506
Uh-huh.
185
00:07:37,507 --> 00:07:40,307
Is it climate controlled?
186
00:07:40,309 --> 00:07:42,909
This discussion
is not finished, Roberta.
187
00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:44,413
ROBERTA:
I hate you!
188
00:07:44,414 --> 00:07:47,034
I'll call you back, Wallace.
189
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:50,033
So how is it going,
Mommy un-dearest.
190
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:51,996
Cleveland, spare me.
You have no idea
191
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,865
what it's like
to raise a teenage girl.
192
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,835
Roberta,
did you just destroy
193
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:59,384
my ceramic comedy
and tragedy masks?
194
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,249
You took away my cell phone
195
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,878
so I took away
something you love.
196
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,273
Oh, I will drag you to hell.
197
00:08:06,269 --> 00:08:08,399
Donna, may I remind you
of the difference
198
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:12,614
between authoritarian parenting
and authoritative parenting.
199
00:08:12,609 --> 00:08:14,339
Ooh!
200
00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:19,554
Ghost cookies
floating magically by.
201
00:08:19,549 --> 00:08:22,919
As for the Roberta situation,
if I were handling it, I--
202
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,389
You know what, Cleveland,
you are handling it.
203
00:08:25,388 --> 00:08:26,688
I am?
204
00:08:26,689 --> 00:08:28,689
Well, you are
the superior parent.
205
00:08:28,692 --> 00:08:31,732
So you will spend the entire
weekend taking care of her,
206
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:35,358
while I enjoy the hot spa
weekend without you.
207
00:08:35,365 --> 00:08:37,415
Why--?
Yo, Kendra.
208
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,517
KENDRA:
What?
209
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,448
If your fat ass can fit
in my midsize SUV,
210
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:43,415
I'll take you
to the hot springs with me.
211
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:46,363
KENDRA:
I'll grease up and meet you outside.
212
00:08:47,759 --> 00:08:49,729
[BOTH GRUNTING]
213
00:08:51,413 --> 00:08:55,223
Enjoy parenting Roberta,
Supernanny.
214
00:08:55,218 --> 00:08:57,518
I will!
215
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,800
[♪]
216
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:01,035
Roberta, go to your room.
217
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,440
Fuck you.
218
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,583
[SOBBING]
219
00:09:08,897 --> 00:09:11,397
[♪]
220
00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:13,871
[SIGHS]
221
00:09:16,238 --> 00:09:18,468
What?
Roberta.
222
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,675
To show you I'm a lot more fun
223
00:09:20,677 --> 00:09:24,777
than your square mom,
here's Federline.
224
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,211
Your BFF.
225
00:09:26,215 --> 00:09:28,565
Wait, B doesn't stand
for "butt" does it?
226
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,538
Cleveland, I broke up with
this loser yesterday,
227
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,568
when he wouldn't get
a tattoo of my name,
228
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,813
just because it's against
his religion.
229
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,709
Yo, I gots to be buried
in a Jewish cemetery.
230
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,552
The plot's been bought.
231
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:43,447
Both of you, just get out
of my life.
232
00:09:44,399 --> 00:09:45,429
[GASPS]
233
00:09:47,135 --> 00:09:48,115
[HISSING]
234
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,341
Mini-dinosaurs.
235
00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:57,278
Oh, why can't Roberta be as
lovable as these kids on Glee?
236
00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:02,080
Journey and Beyoncé
and Boyz II Men.
237
00:10:02,085 --> 00:10:04,545
Girls and football,
but singing?
238
00:10:04,554 --> 00:10:06,354
Broadway.
Marc Jacobs jacket.
239
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,666
♪ Ahhh
240
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:10,235
Boo.
241
00:10:11,827 --> 00:10:15,627
Roberta, I've been watching Glee
and, thus, now understand you.
242
00:10:15,632 --> 00:10:19,672
Well, in tonight's episode,
Roberta goes out with Diego.
243
00:10:19,669 --> 00:10:21,839
Oh, no, you don't.
244
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,989
Oh, yeah, homey, que pasa?
245
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,092
Oh, hey.
246
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,343
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
247
00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:32,175
Hey, no can have you hanging
around the casa tonight,
248
00:10:32,182 --> 00:10:36,482
so why don't you just vamoose?
Cómo se dice, bye-bye?
249
00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:38,946
Whatever. Yo, Roberta!
250
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:41,165
I'm coming!
You most certainly are not.
251
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,844
Now go back inside.
252
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,543
Ugh!
Out of the way, fat back.
253
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,984
I'm going to Diego's place
right now.
254
00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:51,317
My fat back!
I'll sue you, Roberta.
255
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,768
You're not getting in that car.
256
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:57,018
Ow! My fat face!
257
00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:58,613
Diego, help me!
258
00:10:59,841 --> 00:11:01,091
[ALL GRUNTING]
259
00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:02,443
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
260
00:11:02,445 --> 00:11:04,445
Oh, hi, Donna.
261
00:11:04,447 --> 00:11:06,347
Hey, baby.
262
00:11:06,349 --> 00:11:11,419
They got hot tubs, cold tubs,
medium tubs, lukewarm tubs,
263
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,891
and Donna Tubbs.
264
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,859
[LAUGHING]
265
00:11:14,857 --> 00:11:17,227
When you coming over?
266
00:11:17,227 --> 00:11:18,787
I'm wasted.
267
00:11:18,795 --> 00:11:20,125
Oh, really?
268
00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:21,830
Hey, Donna.
269
00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:25,371
How you flush these fancy
European toilets?
270
00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:26,968
[ROBERTA SCREAMS]
271
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:28,170
What was that?
272
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:31,140
That was an American bald eagle.
273
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:33,640
Show some respect. Goodbye.
274
00:11:33,643 --> 00:11:34,643
[CRUNCH]
275
00:11:34,644 --> 00:11:36,344
Ow.
276
00:11:36,346 --> 00:11:39,806
Break yourself,
you mark-ass buster.
277
00:11:39,816 --> 00:11:41,776
Uh-Uh-Uh.
278
00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:45,486
[FARTS]
279
00:11:45,488 --> 00:11:46,958
Ghost fart.
280
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,907
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
281
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,585
ROBERTA:
What is--?
282
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:03,347
Cleveland, did you barricade
me in my room?
283
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,886
I couldn't let you go
to that party tonight.
284
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,892
ROBERTA:
Let me out!
285
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,834
God, I wish I could
go to Diego's
286
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,029
and get trashed
and forget about this.
287
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,901
That gives me an idea.
288
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:18,441
ROBERTA:
Let me out!
289
00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:22,612
[GRUNTING]
290
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,309
Roberta, calm down.
291
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,230
You can have
a party here tonight.
292
00:12:26,229 --> 00:12:28,059
Invite all your friends.
293
00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:29,904
Are you serious?
294
00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:32,369
Yeah, I could see that.
295
00:12:32,368 --> 00:12:34,838
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
296
00:12:45,797 --> 00:12:47,997
Well, you tried, Cleveland.
297
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,850
You can be a pretty
cool stepdad sometimes.
298
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,894
Well, hey.
299
00:12:52,889 --> 00:12:55,889
Why don't you go on upstairs
to bed and I'll clean up.
300
00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:59,232
Clean up what? No one came.
There's nothing to clean.
301
00:12:59,229 --> 00:13:01,229
Except for this sandwich.
302
00:13:01,231 --> 00:13:02,661
Nighty-night.
303
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,496
[CLEVELAND SNORING]
304
00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:11,170
[HIP-HOP PLAYING LOUDLY]
305
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,664
[GRUNTS]
306
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,893
[ALL CHATTERING]
307
00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:35,261
Hey, not in my plant.
308
00:13:35,265 --> 00:13:37,875
Sorry, Grandma Tubbs.
309
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,324
[VOMITS]
310
00:13:40,535 --> 00:13:41,765
Yeah.
311
00:13:41,771 --> 00:13:43,501
What the hell do you think
you're doing?
312
00:13:43,506 --> 00:13:46,206
Letting everyone know who I am
and what I'm all about.
313
00:13:46,209 --> 00:13:47,879
I'll sue you.
314
00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:49,337
And you.
315
00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:51,925
And you. And you in the blue.
316
00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:55,501
And you. You are all under suit!
317
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,632
[YELLING]
318
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,796
[ALL SCREAMING]
319
00:14:03,525 --> 00:14:06,855
Roberta!
320
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,324
Federline, what are
you doing in there?
321
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:14,087
I didn't want my homies
to see me cry.
322
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,717
But I don't mind
if this funny squirrel sees me.
323
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,993
And you can forget about Ro.
She going home with him.
324
00:14:22,477 --> 00:14:24,847
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
325
00:14:26,548 --> 00:14:27,718
I gotta catch them.
326
00:14:27,717 --> 00:14:31,617
Oh, great, and my driving gloves
are at the Leathersmith.
327
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:32,691
What the--?
328
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,490
Our schools.
329
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,406
Thanks for getting
out of bed, Archibald.
330
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,975
No bother.
That will be 30 cents.
331
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,785
Might I offer these
two pumpkins as tender?
332
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,587
Fair enough.
333
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:54,430
Now, let's get Roberta.
334
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,887
Those crooked kids
popped my Pirellis.
335
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,456
[ANIMAL ROARING]
336
00:14:58,465 --> 00:14:59,725
Yo, what the blap was that?
337
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,973
[ROARS]
338
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,439
[SNORING]
339
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:07,137
Hello?
Raymond, roll down your window.
340
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:09,209
He did?
We need your car.
341
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,788
I didn't touch it.
Oh, he's blitzered.
342
00:15:11,795 --> 00:15:13,895
We need to find his keys.
343
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:18,275
Are you a girl?
344
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,724
Okay, I'll drive.
345
00:15:21,636 --> 00:15:23,146
Roberta's my boo.
346
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,116
I'll drive.
347
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,514
[♪]
348
00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:31,680
Wha--? Is this
an old Drivers Ed car?
349
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,680
Supposedly.
Ten and two.
350
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,453
[♪]
351
00:15:36,452 --> 00:15:37,692
Did you--?
Are we rolling?
352
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,587
Take your foot off the brake.
What?
353
00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:41,258
Why press the break?
354
00:15:41,257 --> 00:15:43,857
Gas is on my side.
Don't say together if you--
355
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,490
Let me--
Just count to three.
356
00:15:45,494 --> 00:15:49,114
Okay. One, two, three.
357
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,565
[♪]
358
00:15:51,568 --> 00:15:52,718
[LAUGHING]
359
00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:58,456
[HORNS HONKING]
360
00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:02,526
Okay, this is not safe.
361
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:05,258
Pull the car over
and let me out now.
362
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,275
I will.
363
00:16:06,282 --> 00:16:07,322
[CHUCKLES]
364
00:16:07,317 --> 00:16:09,547
As soon as we win this race.
365
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,042
Race?
366
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,217
[♪]
367
00:16:15,206 --> 00:16:19,336
Hey, calm down, Chiquita.
Try some chips and salsa.
368
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:20,905
And fajitas.
369
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,983
Watch out. Hot plate.
370
00:16:28,036 --> 00:16:30,886
I don't see them.
Oh, blap me in the blap.
371
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:34,390
They'll be on Coleman Boulevard.
Just two blocks east of here.
372
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,814
That's where he goes
racing all the time.
373
00:16:36,812 --> 00:16:39,152
Or tiempo.
374
00:16:39,148 --> 00:16:41,598
Wait a minute. This entire time
you had cookies,
375
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,101
and didn't offer
to share them?
376
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:45,342
And you knew
where Roberta was?
377
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,568
I know where everybody was.
378
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,593
When?
Because.
379
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,982
I gotta buy a bag from that kid.
380
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:54,158
Look. Coleman Boulevard.
381
00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:55,853
[♪]
382
00:17:00,202 --> 00:17:03,152
Roberta, baby,
stepdaddy's coming for you!
383
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,616
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
384
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,324
Hi, hon.
385
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:09,025
Babe, I just wanted to let you
know we're on our way home.
386
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,788
What? Why?
387
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:14,476
Kendra pooped in the hot tub
and they asked us to leave.
388
00:17:14,483 --> 00:17:16,103
Don't tell people.
389
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:18,002
I'll be home
in about an hour.
390
00:17:20,288 --> 00:17:21,268
[GULPS]
391
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,273
Okay, okay.
Well, see you in a bit
392
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:24,975
and so will most
of your children.
393
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:30,615
Federline, if we don't survive
this, I never liked you.
394
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,947
No one did.
395
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:32,981
[GROANS]
396
00:17:34,703 --> 00:17:35,873
[SCREAMING]
397
00:17:36,788 --> 00:17:38,058
[SCREAMING]
398
00:17:41,976 --> 00:17:43,326
[CHUCKLING]
399
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,729
Suck my fumes, losers.
400
00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:48,945
We can still win this thing.
401
00:17:48,951 --> 00:17:50,281
What?
Just listen to me.
402
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,886
I'll step on the gas,
you step on the brake.
403
00:17:52,889 --> 00:17:55,059
I'll turn left,
you turn right.
404
00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:56,157
What's that gonna do?
405
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,659
Just watch.
406
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,860
[TIRES SQUEALING]
407
00:18:03,598 --> 00:18:04,818
[CHUCKLING]
408
00:18:08,186 --> 00:18:11,466
I'd like to solve
the puzzle, Pat.
409
00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:14,461
That was a bad plan.
410
00:18:16,879 --> 00:18:18,799
You all were in that car?
411
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,698
Who was doing
that amazing driving?
412
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:24,240
Both of-- He was.
413
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:27,807
Federline, you risked
your life for me?
414
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,467
I'm risking
my eternal life for you.
415
00:18:34,679 --> 00:18:36,279
[BOTH MOANING]
416
00:18:40,685 --> 00:18:42,515
Oh, fajitas.
417
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,991
Ow! Hot plate!
I'm gonna sue you.
418
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:48,811
Come on you two. We gotta clean
up the house, or casa,
419
00:18:48,811 --> 00:18:51,051
before Donna gets home.
Or casa.
420
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:52,147
[SIRENS WAILING]
421
00:18:53,731 --> 00:18:54,971
[GROANING]
422
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,497
Looks like an illegal immigrant.
423
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,842
Better bring
in the deportation catapult.
424
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,784
Where are you from?
Oakland.
425
00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:05,937
I heard Mexico.
426
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,345
[SCREAMING]
427
00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:11,668
I thought Obama was gonna get
rid of this thing.
428
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:13,197
Said he was. Didn't.
429
00:19:15,053 --> 00:19:16,823
[♪]
430
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:30,720
What the hell are you doing?
431
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,590
You can see
invisible people?
432
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:33,948
You're not invisible.
433
00:19:33,956 --> 00:19:36,186
Then why have you been letting
me run around naked?
434
00:19:36,191 --> 00:19:40,691
Because I don't care.
Just get out of my way.
435
00:19:40,696 --> 00:19:42,596
[♪]
436
00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:55,062
Oh.
437
00:19:57,261 --> 00:19:58,631
[MOANING]
438
00:20:07,138 --> 00:20:10,268
Donna, I didn't think you'd
be home this early.
439
00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:12,036
Welcome home, Mother.
440
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:15,745
I will be upstairs
completing my homework.
441
00:20:18,349 --> 00:20:20,419
Cleveland, I am blown away.
442
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:23,519
I guess you actually
are the better parent.
443
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:26,092
I'm a failure as a mom.
444
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,462
[SIGHS]
445
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,089
Would it make you
feel any better
446
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:30,525
to know
that under my watch,
447
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,329
Roberta nearly lost her life
448
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:35,101
in an underground street race
with an Asian gang
449
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,871
while the driver of her car
was stinking drunk?
450
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,440
She did?
Affirmative.
451
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:43,369
Donna, parenting
a teenage boy is easy.
452
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:44,876
The worst thing
that can happen
453
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,537
is he messes up some
teenage girl's life.
454
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:50,476
Parenting a teenage girl
is impossible.
455
00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:54,052
We should cut our losses
and put our energy into Junior.
456
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:56,353
Rallo made me invisible.
457
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:59,115
How did Junior
get a C-section scar?
458
00:21:00,942 --> 00:21:02,912
[♪]
459
00:21:33,975 --> 00:21:36,905
[English - US - Line 21]
460
00:21:36,955 --> 00:21:41,505
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31115
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
