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1
00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:03,668
[♪]
2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:07,291
♪ Bells will be ringing
3
00:00:07,291 --> 00:00:11,831
♪ The glad, glad news
4
00:00:11,829 --> 00:00:15,359
♪ Oh, what a Christmas
5
00:00:15,366 --> 00:00:20,136
♪ To have the blues
6
00:00:20,137 --> 00:00:23,207
♪ My baby's gone
7
00:00:23,207 --> 00:00:27,477
♪ I have no friends
8
00:00:27,478 --> 00:00:31,598
♪ To wish me greetings
9
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:34,529
♪ Once again
10
00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:39,195
CHILDREN:
♪ Choirs will be singing
11
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:43,776
♪ "Silent Night"
12
00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:50,148
♪ Christmas carols
By candlelight ♪
13
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,480
Take it, Rallo.
14
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:54,785
♪ Please come home
For Christmas ♪
15
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:59,188
♪ Oh, please, please come home
For Christmas ♪
16
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:03,163
♪ And if not for Christmas
17
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,834
♪ By New Year's night
18
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,673
GIRL:
♪ Oh, yeah
19
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:08,968
Oh, yeah, baby.
20
00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:11,640
We got through this pageant.
Give me some presents.
21
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,460
[MAN COUGHS]
22
00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:18,110
Hey, old man.
23
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,511
I don't expect you to throw
24
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,213
your giant panties on the stage
25
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,284
but it's Christmas,
26
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,152
the least you can do
is pay attention.
27
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,851
Leave me alone, kid. I'm Jewish.
28
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,994
So? Just because
you're bad at sports
29
00:01:28,990 --> 00:01:32,120
doesn't mean you can't
celebrate Jesus' birthday.
30
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,636
Listen, you little pischer,
Jews celebrate Hanukkah.
31
00:01:34,644 --> 00:01:37,384
Now beat it. You're lowering
my property values.
32
00:01:37,381 --> 00:01:39,681
Okay, I'm not sure
what that first part meant
33
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:43,723
but that last bit was definitely
racist. Put them up.
34
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,520
What's going on here?
35
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,962
He's a Jew racist.
He's a black anti-Semite.
36
00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:49,238
Murray, hush your mouth.
37
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,783
What I told you about
your folksy racism?
38
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,449
He insulted my religion.
39
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,177
Wait, Jewish is a religion?
40
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,222
I just thought
it was a way to describe
41
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,377
people who were thrifty
42
00:01:58,386 --> 00:01:59,786
or ran the media
43
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,617
or could always top your sad
story with a sadder story.
44
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,294
Rallo, those are negative
stereotypes.
45
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,133
And they're just
as hurtful and offensive
46
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:09,629
as African American ste--
47
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,830
Oh, a penny.
48
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:16,002
Ha, I'm just kidding.
49
00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:20,014
You know, we have a program
50
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:22,107
where kids can spend time
with our residents
51
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:24,279
to learn about
their different cultures.
52
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,008
Oh, it is so heartwarming
53
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,783
and there are surprisingly
few molestations.
54
00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:31,423
I think in the spirit
of the holidays
55
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:35,018
I'm going to require that Rallo
participate in that program.
56
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:38,122
What? I'm not spending
the weekend before Christmas
57
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,985
with the kosher Klansman here.
58
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:43,004
I agree with Rochester.
Not a chance.
59
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,407
All right, then suit yourself.
60
00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:46,105
Instead, we're gonna
sign you both up
61
00:02:46,116 --> 00:02:47,646
to celebrate Ramadan.
62
00:02:47,651 --> 00:02:50,251
I'll hang with Jewy.
I'll hang with Brownie.
63
00:02:52,721 --> 00:02:54,261
[♪]
64
00:02:57,326 --> 00:03:00,626
Roberta, come on,
it's time to trim the tree.
65
00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:03,000
You've been texting Federline
for over an hour.
66
00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:06,599
You can tell time. Good for you.
67
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,643
Put the pretty icicles
68
00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:12,209
on the damn tree.
69
00:03:12,209 --> 00:03:13,409
Yes, ma'am.
70
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,740
Christmas, 1975.
71
00:03:15,746 --> 00:03:17,026
Look at your grandma.
72
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,530
Wasn't she beautiful?
73
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,702
We had sex right after
that picture was taken.
74
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,201
Didn't we, Cookie?
Did we?
75
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,672
Yes, you did.
76
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,491
I dressed up like Santa Claus
77
00:03:25,488 --> 00:03:27,788
and left a present
in her chimney.
78
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:31,891
I have very mixed feelings
about your visits.
79
00:03:33,028 --> 00:03:34,708
Daddy, why you all beaten up?
80
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,245
Because of Boxing Day.
81
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,780
Your grandfather
used to make me box him
82
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,246
to get my Christmas presents.
83
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,993
I got one for every
round I lasted.
84
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,690
What a horrible memory.
85
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:47,732
Why do I even celebrate
Christmas at all?
86
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,258
But Boxing Day
is a holiday in Canada
87
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:53,363
where they box up gifts
for the less fortunate.
88
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:54,896
Canada's gay.
89
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,492
How could you have let him
treat your son that way?
90
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,487
This is the first
I'm hearing of it.
91
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,809
Tubby, now that I'm back,
92
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,867
maybe we should start
up the tradition again.
93
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,286
Or we can come up
with a new tradition
94
00:04:05,295 --> 00:04:08,695
like dancing around in cowboy
boots and underwear.
95
00:04:08,699 --> 00:04:10,679
Way ahead of you, Dad.
96
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,384
♪ Do-do-do
do-do-do-do-do ♪
97
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:13,746
♪ Do-do-do
do-do-do-do-do ♪
98
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,277
Oh, what a surprise,
you're not in school.
99
00:04:20,277 --> 00:04:22,677
Shut your blintz-hole
and let's get this over with.
100
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,449
You know, I think I figured
out why you're so cranky.
101
00:04:25,448 --> 00:04:28,548
Christmas is four days away
and you don't even have a tree.
102
00:04:28,551 --> 00:04:31,451
I told you,
Jews celebrate Hanukkah.
103
00:04:31,454 --> 00:04:33,464
Yeah, what is that?
I tried looking it up
104
00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:36,557
but no one knows
how to spell it, so I gave up.
105
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,210
You people, with your sarcasm
and your disrespect.
106
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:43,513
You people? You know, I could
call you "you people" too.
107
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,246
You mean you chosen people?
108
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,552
Chosen to be a pain in my butt.
109
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:48,585
Ha.
110
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,459
You're not wrong.
111
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,327
So where's all your Hanukkah
decorations?
112
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,727
I don't celebrate
anything anymore.
113
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,599
Except a successful
bowel movement.
114
00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,978
Okay, come on now, Murray,
time for your nap.
115
00:05:00,985 --> 00:05:02,845
I don't wanna take a nap.
116
00:05:02,853 --> 00:05:05,903
You never want to take your nap
but you have to.
117
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,306
Come. You need help getting
into your pull-up diaper?
118
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,278
No. Now leave me alone.
119
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,157
[GRUNTS]
120
00:05:12,162 --> 00:05:15,562
Sounds like being 85
is a lot like being 5.
121
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,876
It's pretty similar.
Dinner at 5, bath at 6.
122
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,616
BOTH:
Then Wheel of Fortune and lights out.
123
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,392
[LAUGHING]
124
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:26,990
Well, it was fine
meeting you, Rallo.
125
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,564
You're one of the good ones.
126
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,862
You too, Murray.
127
00:05:32,949 --> 00:05:34,749
[♪]
128
00:05:36,268 --> 00:05:39,898
Hey, maybe I'll stop
by again tomorrow.
129
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,836
And if it makes
you feel any better,
130
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,312
I gotta sleep in pull-ups too.
131
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:46,951
It does make me feel better.
132
00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:50,551
[♪]
133
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,042
Dad, is the Santa at the mall
134
00:05:55,038 --> 00:05:57,338
the real Santa
or one of his helpers?
135
00:05:57,341 --> 00:06:00,581
Because when I asked him,
he said he was the real one
136
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,507
but then I saw him
steal a bracelet
137
00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:03,782
from Claire's Boutique.
138
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:06,010
Your boy sounds a little soft,
Cleveland.
139
00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:08,646
But I guess when your dad's
too big a wuss to fight
140
00:06:08,651 --> 00:06:10,591
that's what happens.
141
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,417
I am a good human being.
142
00:06:12,422 --> 00:06:14,662
I have positive qualities.
143
00:06:14,657 --> 00:06:17,007
Cleveland, honey, are you gay?
144
00:06:17,011 --> 00:06:18,541
It's okay if you are.
145
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,775
Actually, it would explain
a lot.
146
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,871
How can you let them talk to you
that way in your own home?
147
00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:26,467
Donna, enough.
I will not be talked to
148
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,270
that way in my own home.
149
00:06:28,272 --> 00:06:30,072
Shut up, fool.
Okay.
150
00:06:30,073 --> 00:06:32,363
Your dad's been pushing
you around for years.
151
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:34,729
Have you ever even tried
hitting him back?
152
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:38,628
Donna, I'm a cable installer.
These are my livelihood.
153
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,032
You know,
this is never gonna stop
154
00:06:40,034 --> 00:06:41,534
until you stand up to that man.
155
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,935
Listen-- Ow.
No, you listen.
156
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,497
Either you're gonna fight
your dad,
157
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:46,965
or you're gonna fight me.
Ow. Ow.
158
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,314
You hear me?
159
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:51,478
Ow! Yes, I hear you.
I'll do it. I'll fight him.
160
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,908
Your hands are so big and rough.
161
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:54,864
Damn right.
162
00:06:54,865 --> 00:06:57,265
Now set your clock
and grab your jock
163
00:06:57,268 --> 00:07:00,268
because tomorrow,
we start training.
164
00:07:00,271 --> 00:07:02,471
Oh yeah? What time?
165
00:07:02,473 --> 00:07:04,173
Last word. I won.
166
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,594
[♪]
167
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,638
[SIGHS]
168
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,106
This place is sucking
the life out of me.
169
00:07:12,115 --> 00:07:14,075
It's like being in prison.
170
00:07:14,083 --> 00:07:16,053
You'll see soon enough.
171
00:07:16,052 --> 00:07:19,152
What was that? I couldn't hear
you over your nose.
172
00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:21,215
Anyway, why don't you
just leave?
173
00:07:21,224 --> 00:07:23,594
I can't just leave.
174
00:07:23,594 --> 00:07:25,694
Not by myself anyway.
175
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,666
You know, I saw something
in a movie that just might work.
176
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:33,541
Son of a bitch.
177
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:35,947
Oh, my God. That's not what
happened in the movie. Sorry.
178
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:36,956
I'm only 5.
179
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,337
Get me off this cockamamie
thing.
180
00:07:38,342 --> 00:07:41,462
Hang on. I got a BB gun.
181
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,011
Ugh. What the hell
is wrong with you?
182
00:07:43,013 --> 00:07:46,053
All I need you to do is hold
open the front door, it's heavy.
183
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:50,119
Hey, Murray. Up yours.
184
00:07:55,858 --> 00:07:59,588
♪ All my goyim friendsAre making up their lists ♪
185
00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:06,381
♪ And all my goyim friendsGet some pretty sweet gifts ♪
186
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:11,970
♪ Like snowboards, cell phones,
Paintball guns and iPods ♪
187
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:18,527
♪ Memberships to the lastRestricted golf clubs ♪
188
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:24,552
♪ But we, we will march on
189
00:08:24,555 --> 00:08:30,205
♪ Six-pack of socksFrom each of our moms ♪
190
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:35,060
♪ It's, oh, so wrongBut we will march on ♪
191
00:08:37,749 --> 00:08:40,789
It's getting kind of late.
We should probably head back.
192
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,117
[SIGHS]
193
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,562
Life goes pretty fast, Rallo.
194
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,688
One day, you're shtupping
Madeline Kahn
195
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,134
at Paul Mazursky's Seder
196
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:52,358
and the next day,
you only own one pair of shoes.
197
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,096
I'm not going back.
198
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,570
What?
You heard me.
199
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,439
I'd rather freeze
to death on this bench
200
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:59,067
than go back to that place.
201
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,942
Then you're coming home with me.
202
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,811
[CHUCKLES]
You know what? That's very nice of you.
203
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:06,081
What's the rent?
Four-fifty.
204
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,749
In this economy?
For a sleeping bag?
205
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,378
Three-fifty, tops.
206
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:13,774
I'm not even making a profit
on this one. Two-seventy-five.
207
00:09:13,771 --> 00:09:15,571
Two-fifty.
Deal.
208
00:09:15,572 --> 00:09:17,642
Two dollars and fifty cents.
209
00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,941
I knew you'd try to
"you people" me down.
210
00:09:19,943 --> 00:09:23,043
And fade to your people.
211
00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:24,476
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
212
00:09:27,516 --> 00:09:28,796
[♪]
213
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,192
Welcome to your new home.
214
00:09:32,188 --> 00:09:34,918
Ha. We're like a sitcom.
215
00:09:34,924 --> 00:09:37,034
CHORUS:
♪ Jew
216
00:09:37,027 --> 00:09:39,057
DONNA:
Rallo, are you in your room?
217
00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:42,232
It's my mom.
Hurry, get in the closet.
218
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,380
Who were you talking to?
219
00:09:45,386 --> 00:09:47,126
Um, Jesus.
220
00:09:47,136 --> 00:09:51,306
His birthday's almost here
so I'm just making him a mix CD.
221
00:09:51,307 --> 00:09:55,387
Oh, honey, I think
Jesus has an iPod.
222
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,850
That's some weak D, Rallo.
223
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,920
[♪]
224
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,930
I'm going to the kitchen.
What do you want for lunch?
225
00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:16,479
[MURRAY MUTTERING]
[GRUNTING]
226
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:18,923
Chopped herring, potato pancakes
227
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,289
and two soft boiled eggs
on rye toast.
228
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:24,218
And see if you can turn
that facacta heater up.
229
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,264
I thought I told you to stop
watching Curb Your Enthusiasm.
230
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,830
You're gonna have
a grilled cheese,
231
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,899
and then your momma's gonna
open a bottle of wine
232
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:33,527
lay on the sofa with her pants
off for a little while.
233
00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:36,897
[GROANS]
234
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,843
[♪]
235
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,310
Listen up. This training
will not be easy
236
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,529
it will not be fun
and it will not be over
237
00:10:44,527 --> 00:10:46,757
until I am satisfied.
238
00:10:46,763 --> 00:10:50,173
Sounds like our honeymoon.
239
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:51,847
Ow. What was that for?
240
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,521
This fight is happening whether
you want it to or not
241
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,091
and you have got to be ready.
242
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,919
When I was
on the foxy boxing circuit,
243
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,424
if some bitch came at me
244
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,086
I didn't care
if I was in the ring
245
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,394
backstage,
nursery school parking lot,
246
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,976
she got some of this.
247
00:11:05,982 --> 00:11:08,432
Hit me back.
[GRUNTING]
248
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,565
Hit me back.
Come on. Hit me, nancy.
249
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,600
[♪]
250
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,680
[GLASS SMASHES]
251
00:11:20,195 --> 00:11:21,625
Get up. Get up.
252
00:11:21,631 --> 00:11:23,801
And where'd you get
that cupcake?
253
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,000
Found it.
254
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:27,471
We've got a lot of work to do.
255
00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:30,240
[SURVIVOR'S "EYE OF THE TIGER"
PLAYING]
256
00:11:30,239 --> 00:11:32,819
[MUSIC STOPS PLAYING]
257
00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:35,535
[WIND BLOWING]
258
00:11:35,545 --> 00:11:38,505
Ah, Rallo, if Jews believed
in heaven,
259
00:11:38,515 --> 00:11:40,375
which we don't because
it's ridiculous
260
00:11:40,383 --> 00:11:43,593
think about it,
this would be it.
261
00:11:43,587 --> 00:11:46,317
[COUGHING]
262
00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:52,232
That sounds bad.
What does your doctor say?
263
00:11:52,228 --> 00:11:54,798
Who can hear him over
all the coughing?
264
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:57,098
Rallo, look what I made for you.
265
00:11:57,100 --> 00:12:00,640
[BOTH SCREAMING]
266
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,437
Junior,
this is my friend Murray.
267
00:12:02,439 --> 00:12:04,909
He's Jewish and he's staying
with me for a little while.
268
00:12:04,907 --> 00:12:08,877
But you've gotta promise
not to tell anyone, all right?
269
00:12:08,878 --> 00:12:11,348
Is he friendly?
It comes and goes.
270
00:12:11,348 --> 00:12:13,508
DONNA:
Rallo, can you come down here, please?
271
00:12:13,516 --> 00:12:14,846
Oh, man.
272
00:12:14,851 --> 00:12:18,191
Okay, you two don't go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
273
00:12:19,955 --> 00:12:24,285
So, what really happened
with Lehman Brothers?
274
00:12:24,294 --> 00:12:26,284
Rallo, you remember Mrs. Bailey
275
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,210
with the Jamaican accent
from the rest home?
276
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,915
Rallo, sweetie,
Murray is missing,
277
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,497
and it's urgent that I find him.
278
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,602
I was wondering
if he contacted you.
279
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,318
Hi.
280
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,414
No, ma'am.
I haven't heard from him.
281
00:12:39,409 --> 00:12:41,539
But if I do, I'll let you know.
282
00:12:41,544 --> 00:12:42,764
Well, see that you do.
283
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,262
He has water on the lungs
and he needs his treatment
284
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,795
in order to breathe
and live and complain.
285
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,940
So if he doesn't go back,
he could die?
286
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,241
[♪]
287
00:12:58,878 --> 00:12:59,908
You lied to me.
288
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:02,052
You told me you were dying
in that rest home.
289
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,518
But the rest home
was keeping you alive.
290
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:07,037
Look, kid, you're too young
to understand this
291
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,167
but living isn't
just about life,
292
00:13:09,172 --> 00:13:10,872
it's quality of life.
293
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,174
Think about it,
294
00:13:12,175 --> 00:13:14,935
would you rather have
10 minutes with Natalie Portman
295
00:13:14,944 --> 00:13:17,854
or 10 years
with Senator Dianne Feinstein?
296
00:13:17,847 --> 00:13:21,667
I'd like to have 30 minutes
with Cheryl Hines.
297
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,468
[WHISTLES]
298
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,720
But, Murray, you could die.
299
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:28,892
I appreciate your concern,
but I'd rather die here
300
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,731
than live in that farshtinkener
place another day.
301
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,288
Promise you won't send me back.
302
00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:34,526
But--
303
00:13:34,531 --> 00:13:35,651
Promise me, Rallo.
304
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,478
I promise.
305
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,984
You know, back in Quahog,
306
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,445
an old man used
to live in my suitcase.
307
00:13:43,271 --> 00:13:47,011
♪ There's no business
Like show business ♪
308
00:13:47,010 --> 00:13:50,680
♪ There's no business I know
309
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,370
You're ready.
310
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:59,139
Hm. I love working out.
311
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,339
[BELL RINGS]
312
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,325
I'm gonna bust you up.
313
00:14:05,328 --> 00:14:07,098
Probably.
314
00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:10,267
Yeah! Whoo. Whoo. Whoo.
315
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:11,627
All right, yeah.
Come on, come on.
316
00:14:11,634 --> 00:14:12,904
Hit him.
317
00:14:12,903 --> 00:14:14,423
JUNIOR:
Hit him. Hit him.
318
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,941
COOKIE: Yeah. Yeah.
Too slow, Cassius Gay.
319
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,160
Ow. Uh. Ow.
320
00:14:19,224 --> 00:14:20,344
[GRUNTING]
321
00:14:21,576 --> 00:14:23,646
You can't touch me, Tubby.
I'm too fast.
322
00:14:23,647 --> 00:14:25,907
Check this out. Hey, baby. Muah.
323
00:14:25,916 --> 00:14:27,546
[BLOWS KISS]
[GROWLING]
324
00:14:28,817 --> 00:14:31,787
Holy crap, I hit him.
Hit him again, damn it.
325
00:14:32,755 --> 00:14:36,115
[GRUNTING]
[LAUGHING]
326
00:14:36,992 --> 00:14:39,432
Ow!
Happy Boxing Day, sucker.
327
00:14:39,429 --> 00:14:42,059
Cleveland, stop.
He's having a heart attack.
328
00:14:42,065 --> 00:14:44,265
No, he's having a fist attack.
329
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,867
Cleveland, stop. He really
is having a heart attack.
330
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:49,297
[PANTING]
331
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,685
[♪]
332
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:54,810
[HUMMING]
333
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,708
[WHIMPERING]
334
00:14:59,782 --> 00:15:01,622
[WHIMPERING]
335
00:15:01,618 --> 00:15:04,288
[SHORTS TEAR]
Oh.
336
00:15:06,321 --> 00:15:09,121
[♪]
337
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,085
[SOBBING]
338
00:15:10,093 --> 00:15:11,793
Cleveland, it appears
that your father
339
00:15:11,794 --> 00:15:13,394
has suffered
a mild heart attack.
340
00:15:13,396 --> 00:15:14,596
Although I've never seen one
341
00:15:14,597 --> 00:15:16,727
accompanied by bruises
to the face before.
342
00:15:16,732 --> 00:15:18,852
I was beating him
up at the time.
343
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,371
Oh, hey, no judgment.
Anywho, he should be fine.
344
00:15:21,371 --> 00:15:23,171
I'd like to run a few more tests
345
00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:24,743
to be sure
but it's Christmas Eve
346
00:15:24,741 --> 00:15:27,611
and I'd rather be with
my family, so I'm going home.
347
00:15:27,610 --> 00:15:29,840
Cleveland, I am so sorry.
348
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:30,946
[SOBBING]
349
00:15:30,947 --> 00:15:34,717
This isn't how I wanted
to kill my father.
350
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,423
Junior, I'm scared, man.
351
00:15:39,422 --> 00:15:40,622
Don't worry, Rallo.
352
00:15:40,624 --> 00:15:43,064
The doctor says
Grandpa will be fine.
353
00:15:43,059 --> 00:15:45,129
What? I'm talking about Murray.
354
00:15:45,128 --> 00:15:47,388
I don't want him
to go back to that home
355
00:15:47,396 --> 00:15:49,396
but I don't want him
to die, either.
356
00:15:49,398 --> 00:15:51,698
You should do
what your heart tells you to.
357
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,871
Thank you for the worthless
platitude.
358
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,400
All right, then I hope
your old friend dies.
359
00:15:56,405 --> 00:15:58,405
Would that make you happy?
You happy now?
360
00:15:58,407 --> 00:16:00,167
You happy that
your old friend gonna die?
361
00:16:00,176 --> 00:16:01,876
You happy now, Rallo?
You happy?
362
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:04,408
Now quit teasing me!
363
00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:07,133
[♪]
364
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,053
[COUGHING]
365
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,592
That sounds bad.
You need anything?
366
00:16:11,587 --> 00:16:13,847
[SIGHS]
I'm just so cold.
367
00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:16,186
Jewish-person cold,
or regular-person cold?
368
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:17,232
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
369
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:19,427
Rallo, I found these
in the dishwasher.
370
00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:21,259
Do you know
where they came from?
371
00:16:21,264 --> 00:16:24,004
Oh, yeah, those are
my funny novelty teeth.
372
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,850
Oh, cool. Let me try.
373
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,222
Look at me. I'm Joe Biden.
374
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,562
My teeth taste
like kosher salami.
375
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:33,488
[LAUGHING]
376
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,563
[GAGS]
377
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,340
And this must be
your oversized novelty diaper.
378
00:16:37,346 --> 00:16:39,076
Now I'm Larry King.
379
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,682
Caller, you're on.
380
00:16:40,684 --> 00:16:42,054
[LAUGHING]
381
00:16:42,052 --> 00:16:45,922
I gotta come in here more often,
it's like a joke shop.
382
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,762
Rallo, what is going on in here?
383
00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:51,692
Rallo, no.
384
00:16:51,694 --> 00:16:54,014
Sweet biscuits
and garment districts.
385
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,423
I'm sorry, Mama,
but he hated living in that home
386
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,677
and he had no place else to go.
387
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,545
Are you out of your damn mind?
388
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,954
Rallo, you have
to take him back.
389
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,906
But--
I'm sorry, but Cleveland's right.
390
00:17:05,909 --> 00:17:08,679
Murray's sick.
He needs to go back.
391
00:17:08,677 --> 00:17:10,307
If it's any consolation, sir,
392
00:17:10,313 --> 00:17:15,123
I will give you $10
for your teeth.
393
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:17,948
Eight dollars. You know what?
I don't want them.
394
00:17:21,590 --> 00:17:23,720
It's a good thing you called
when you did.
395
00:17:23,726 --> 00:17:25,636
You may have saved
the man's life.
396
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,875
Ten minutes, Murray,
then it's nap time.
397
00:17:31,466 --> 00:17:34,596
You betrayed me, Rallo.
Have a nice life.
398
00:17:34,603 --> 00:17:37,643
I'm sorry I let you down.
399
00:17:43,913 --> 00:17:45,153
[SIGHS]
400
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,667
I'm so sorry
I almost killed you.
401
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:58,514
You'll be back on your feet
in time for next Boxing Day.
402
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,541
No, I'm too old.
403
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:03,626
Come on, Pop, you're never
too old to hit your son.
404
00:18:03,632 --> 00:18:04,752
[LAUGHS]
405
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,181
Back when you were a little kid,
406
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:08,315
I thought I'd keep hitting
you forever.
407
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,150
If I'd known it'd
end up like this,
408
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,086
I would have hit you
on your birthday too.
409
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,091
[SOBBING]
410
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,632
We didn't know.
411
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,887
We didn't know.
412
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,306
[♪]
413
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,274
[GASPS]
414
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:26,399
A garden hose, a wheelbarrow
and a straw hat?
415
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:27,806
Thanks, Miss Donna.
416
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,437
Now I can pretend I'm
a relatively ignorant
417
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,683
but happy-go-lucky
groundskeeper.
418
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,409
[WHISTLING]
419
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,952
[SIGHS]
420
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:42,347
Anybody here got
an opinion on Palestine?
421
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,085
What the hell
are you doing here?
422
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,610
Look, I know you gotta
live here or you'll die
423
00:18:46,609 --> 00:18:49,839
but that doesn't mean we can't
bust you out for Christmas.
424
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,363
Thank you, Rallo.
425
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,025
You're a good friend.
426
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,573
But I can't go anywhere.
427
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,938
They upped the security
since I got back.
428
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,650
Get back to your room.
429
00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:02,886
You have 10 seconds to comply.
430
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,662
What in the blazes?
Five, four
431
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,490
Heavens, I thought
you were a juke box.
432
00:19:06,495 --> 00:19:07,955
three, two, one.
433
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:13,202
Not a problem. We're going
out through the window.
434
00:19:13,203 --> 00:19:15,393
[♪]
435
00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:20,893
I can't leave
them behind, Rallo.
436
00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:22,794
Who said they weren't
coming with?
437
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:24,796
[WHISTLES]
438
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:31,794
Yippee.
I feel alive!
439
00:19:31,787 --> 00:19:33,347
Is this the Internet?
440
00:19:33,356 --> 00:19:34,686
[GRUNTS]
441
00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:36,560
[YELLING]
442
00:19:36,559 --> 00:19:40,879
Hey, come back here
with my old people. Guards!
443
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,680
This barrow can't hold them all.
444
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,103
Get in.
What are you doing here?
445
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:48,152
My father taught me
a little something
446
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:50,394
about the hopelessness
of the elderly,
447
00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:53,189
America's most precious
resource.
448
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,693
ANNOUNCER:
You're watching CBS.
449
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:03,997
[♪]
450
00:20:04,986 --> 00:20:07,186
[BEEPING]
451
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:08,769
Thanks, Old Brown.
452
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,335
You're a real mensch.
453
00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:13,142
Yeah, what he said.
Merry Christmas, Cleveland.
454
00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:14,436
Now do your pops a favor
455
00:20:14,446 --> 00:20:16,806
and hand me a piece
of that fudge.
456
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,576
Boxing Day, bitch!
457
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:21,824
Now, this feels like Christmas.
458
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,821
Come here. I wanna show
you something.
459
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,662
What is this?
460
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,561
Tonight's the last night
of Hanukkah.
461
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,703
Will you be my He-bro?
462
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,898
You did all this for me?
463
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,921
You said you stopped celebrating
because you were alone.
464
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,690
Well, this year, you're not.
465
00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:41,289
Happy Hanukkah, Murray.
466
00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:43,621
Merry Christmas, Rallo.
467
00:20:45,294 --> 00:20:50,134
[MACHINES MAKING WHIRRING SOUNDS
OF CHRISTMAS SONG]
468
00:20:57,939 --> 00:21:00,969
[EKG FLATLINING]
469
00:21:00,976 --> 00:21:03,706
[♪]
470
00:21:05,714 --> 00:21:08,384
[♪]
471
00:21:38,747 --> 00:21:41,717
[English - US - Line 21]
472
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:46,317
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