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1
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:30,460
I should have continued learning music.
2
00:00:30,484 --> 00:00:32,903
The only thing I used to like.
3
00:00:35,059 --> 00:00:36,996
It was all a big mess…
4
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:43,076
Our Lebanon...
5
00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:46,556
is 10452 km²
6
00:00:46,740 --> 00:00:49,116
and this is the area we want!
7
00:00:50,899 --> 00:00:53,011
What lies North of Lebanon?
8
00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:55,176
Syria.
9
00:00:55,299 --> 00:00:57,724
And at the Southern border?
Israel.
10
00:00:57,980 --> 00:01:00,135
Israelies sent us the Palestinians.
11
00:01:00,180 --> 00:01:02,160
With their big camps in Lebanon
12
00:01:02,219 --> 00:01:03,891
they want to swallow us up!
13
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,920
From the other side, the Syrians came.
14
00:01:07,379 --> 00:01:09,932
They ate up what's left
of the country.
15
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:13,340
Another big threat is coming
from inside Lebanon!
16
00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:15,868
The other Lebanese who are
encircling us.
17
00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:19,103
They all want to exterminate us
and throw us in the sea.
18
00:01:19,299 --> 00:01:21,455
Our church bells will stop ringing!
19
00:01:21,819 --> 00:01:25,251
- You! Which area are you from?
- Deir Al Qamar.
20
00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:27,556
You are surrounded by the Druze!
21
00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:30,703
They ate all of Mount Lebanon!
They're are going to devour you!
22
00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:32,339
I am from Sin El Fil.
23
00:01:32,419 --> 00:01:34,795
Enemies will soon reach your area
and totally erase it!
24
00:01:35,219 --> 00:01:36,672
Wake up boys!
25
00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:39,292
What about you?
26
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:42,816
Where is the Jelelaty family from?
27
00:01:44,219 --> 00:01:45,891
And where is your mother from?
28
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:51,208
Your mother, where is she from?
29
00:01:52,219 --> 00:01:53,935
This land is for us.
30
00:01:54,140 --> 00:01:56,427
No Palestinian or Syrian
31
00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:58,515
will dare take it from us...
32
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,391
When were you born?
33
00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:19,828
31 October
34
00:02:20,419 --> 00:02:22,136
1994.
35
00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:24,696
Liar!
36
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:30,392
That was the day I got to Barcelona
37
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,507
18 September 1963.
38
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:36,851
You're old!
39
00:02:36,859 --> 00:02:38,312
Fuck you!
40
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,388
I just love the sea.
41
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:20,180
It is tender like you
42
00:03:20,299 --> 00:03:22,587
and sometimes crazy, like you.
43
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:25,567
It immigrates and travels.
44
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:29,591
Where are we going?
45
00:03:32,419 --> 00:03:35,996
I want to get rid of you
and drop you off to the airport.
46
00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:38,836
To be frank, that would be great!
47
00:03:39,180 --> 00:03:42,171
I'd be delighted to take the plane now.
48
00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:47,860
I never imagined
it would be like this.
49
00:03:48,419 --> 00:03:52,687
I didn't expect this film to be like this!
50
00:03:55,299 --> 00:03:57,852
I thought I would be comfortable and cool
51
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,788
and just sit and talk.
But no...
52
00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:03,820
I'm paralysed and afraid.
53
00:04:04,379 --> 00:04:06,800
I just want to go back home
and sleep.
54
00:04:08,259 --> 00:04:10,284
When you first told me your story
55
00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:12,475
you were really enjoying it!
56
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:14,780
You were almost putting on a show!
57
00:04:14,899 --> 00:04:17,760
You gave me the impression
that you wanted to talk.
58
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:22,471
In fact I was putting on a show...
59
00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:25,611
The sea is tender like you
60
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,427
and often crazy like you.
61
00:04:28,859 --> 00:04:31,675
It immigrates and travels.
62
00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:34,744
It's sometimes confused, like you
63
00:04:35,419 --> 00:04:37,752
and often sad, like you.
64
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:42,703
It can be full of patience,
I just love the sea.
65
00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:56,059
These turns and alleyways
66
00:04:57,620 --> 00:04:58,764
like here.
67
00:04:58,939 --> 00:05:00,744
It's like old Damascus.
68
00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:10,820
That's the most beautiful
neighborhood in Seville.
69
00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:18,138
Hello... I'm talking from Spain.
70
00:05:19,189 --> 00:05:21,740
It's Michel Jelelaty.
71
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:26,631
I want to talk to Takla
Could you call her please?
72
00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:29,736
She is...
73
00:05:30,062 --> 00:05:32,203
Ok..I'll wait.
74
00:05:33,899 --> 00:05:35,704
They are calling her...
75
00:05:35,899 --> 00:05:37,704
Put the speaker on.
76
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:40,304
I don't want to.
77
00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:42,912
I didn't hear anyone talking to you!
78
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:46,079
Because there's nobody on the phone!
79
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,996
I'm lying to you,
I can't talk to Takla.
80
00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:50,780
Why are you lying to me?
81
00:05:50,805 --> 00:05:52,740
I don't know anything about Takla!
82
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:56,047
She must be in Saidnaya, Syria...
There's no phone there.
83
00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:59,011
She fled from Damascus...
It's chaos there.
84
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,812
- Did you at least try to reach out?
- No.
85
00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:04,928
You said she was as important
as your mother!
86
00:06:05,379 --> 00:06:07,272
I didn't try to reach out to her.
87
00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:10,995
Maybe because I'm a shitty person.
88
00:06:16,939 --> 00:06:18,832
I don't miss anyone!
89
00:06:18,939 --> 00:06:21,139
Go fuck yourselves, all of you!
90
00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:42,300
Why did they call you Michel?
91
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,459
Who is Michel?
92
00:06:44,899 --> 00:06:48,420
He's the archangel who
kills the devil with his sword.
93
00:06:55,939 --> 00:06:58,360
Are you Michel or Miguel?
94
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,360
What a horrible bitch.
95
00:07:28,899 --> 00:07:32,067
The biggest effort I did in my life
96
00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:34,755
was to forget who I was
97
00:07:34,779 --> 00:07:37,816
and to eradicate
Michel Jelelaty.
98
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:42,116
I moved heaven and earth to erase
Michel Jelelaty.
99
00:07:42,140 --> 00:07:44,252
You can't imagine the effort I did.
100
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:48,840
In the first years
after my move to Madrid.
101
00:07:48,899 --> 00:07:53,436
People would ask for my name
and I would answer: Miguel Alonso.
102
00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:55,352
My dream was to be a Spaniard
103
00:07:55,419 --> 00:07:57,619
and forget about Lebanon.
104
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,332
I truly believed I was
Miguel Alonso.
105
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:12,284
I really lived it.
106
00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,563
I acted like a real Spaniard
107
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,912
I am carefree and happy with myself.
108
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:24,516
During my life in Madrid
109
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:26,943
we used to fuck on the street!
110
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:32,167
People would piss on each other
and they'd screw everywhere...
111
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:33,863
Gays.
112
00:08:33,939 --> 00:08:36,755
Straight, all mixed.
113
00:08:36,779 --> 00:08:40,035
Sexual chaos, orgies...
I lived all this!
114
00:08:40,139 --> 00:08:41,943
I was fucked in front of 1000 people...
115
00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:49,543
I feel that ever since
we met in Barcelona.
116
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:55,287
It's like I hit your Play button
and the tape started rolling.
117
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,227
Why did you tell me your story?
118
00:09:00,979 --> 00:09:04,896
I am growing old, probably...
When one grows old
119
00:09:05,099 --> 00:09:06,991
one needs to resolve
120
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:10,508
the basic issues and rest...
121
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:12,912
I told you my story
to spit things out
122
00:09:12,979 --> 00:09:15,796
throw up everything and let up.
123
00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:20,339
Are there any red lines?
Or shall we vomit up everything?
124
00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:26,291
When you edit this film, don't put
sentences where I'm angry.
125
00:09:26,739 --> 00:09:30,435
I might say things that seem full of hate,
but it's not the case.
126
00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:32,816
It's not about hate anymore...
127
00:09:33,179 --> 00:09:34,632
I overcame this feeling.
128
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,640
I just want to accept my roots
129
00:09:37,779 --> 00:09:40,596
and explain to my roots
what they've done to me.
130
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,720
How was Michel as a child?
131
00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:53,748
Tortured.
132
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:59,131
Crushed by his inferiority complex.
133
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:03,752
Michel the child wished
he had never existed.
134
00:10:05,979 --> 00:10:10,115
At school, they often sent to my parents
warnings in French: ''Your son is slow''.
135
00:10:10,139 --> 00:10:13,219
Since then, everybody called me ''slow''.
136
00:10:15,099 --> 00:10:17,784
Indeed, I was a slow child.
137
00:10:25,819 --> 00:10:28,812
Who are the characters
of your story?
138
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:34,740
Me.
139
00:10:35,819 --> 00:10:38,107
My mother.
140
00:10:44,939 --> 00:10:47,888
Me and my mother, only!
141
00:10:50,979 --> 00:10:52,784
Oedipus won again!
142
00:10:53,099 --> 00:10:56,223
Yes, but I didn't turn out
the way she wanted!
143
00:11:07,139 --> 00:11:08,899
What a silence...
144
00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:11,019
It's scary.
145
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,480
Who else is in the story?
146
00:11:19,019 --> 00:11:20,736
Who else...
147
00:11:24,340 --> 00:11:26,143
Which characters...
148
00:11:27,460 --> 00:11:30,672
A very important person
in my story is Maria.
149
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:33,804
Men are stupid.
150
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:37,203
They are so full of themselves,
when they are intellectual.
151
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,656
They don't give a shit about others.
152
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:43,968
- She comes later, in your Spanish chapter.
- Yes.
153
00:11:45,019 --> 00:11:48,716
The son of my Godparents
was also a character!
154
00:11:48,739 --> 00:11:51,276
He comes in the porn part
of the film.
155
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,400
Indeed...
156
00:11:55,779 --> 00:11:57,979
And with whom did you betray
your mother?
157
00:11:59,859 --> 00:12:00,959
With the guys!
158
00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:04,219
The Lebanese forces militia
and the Phalangist fighters!
159
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,668
Really, have you ever used a gun?
160
00:12:08,899 --> 00:12:10,748
You fired a bullet?
161
00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:14,263
- What are their names?
- I just remember Tony.
162
00:12:16,899 --> 00:12:19,011
There's also Elie?
163
00:12:19,979 --> 00:12:22,047
Elie, for sure...
164
00:12:22,739 --> 00:12:24,412
My brother
165
00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:27,123
and...
166
00:12:28,019 --> 00:12:30,924
Can we interview your brother
for the film?
167
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:33,684
That's very complicated!
168
00:12:35,979 --> 00:12:38,576
He was better at everything!
169
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:40,995
He was smarter, stronger
and faster than me
170
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:42,832
he was even wittier.
171
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:45,892
Mom was totally in love with him.
172
00:12:46,739 --> 00:12:50,259
I lived my whole life with that rage
173
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:53,868
of seeing in mom's eyes
that Elie was her favorite.
174
00:12:54,059 --> 00:12:56,832
He was strong
and started to play Karate.
175
00:12:57,700 --> 00:13:00,912
I hated him and dreamed of killing him.
176
00:13:02,939 --> 00:13:06,436
That's why when the
Lebanese Forces militia asked us.
177
00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:08,924
''Who wants to fight in the mountain?''
178
00:13:09,059 --> 00:13:12,007
I instantly agreed
to join the battle.
179
00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:15,343
You think I am a pussy?
Well I am not!
180
00:13:15,859 --> 00:13:18,808
I'm going to carry a Kalashnikov
and shoot!
181
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:24,155
What did you feel when you
pressed the trigger?
182
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:26,071
And when you heard the bullet?
183
00:13:27,979 --> 00:13:30,179
Wait! Before we talk about the war...
184
00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:32,560
Let's recall your life in Beirut
before.
185
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,660
How beautiful was old Beirut...
186
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:38,724
It was just...
187
00:13:41,139 --> 00:13:42,724
Oh the smells!
188
00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:45,748
The smells of food and sweets
was everywhere.
189
00:13:48,859 --> 00:13:53,523
The Meghleh dessert
still makes my heart beat faster.
190
00:13:54,939 --> 00:13:56,524
Its smell and taste...
191
00:13:56,899 --> 00:13:59,452
These were very happy moments.
192
00:14:04,019 --> 00:14:05,999
That's Cinema Pigalle, right?
193
00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:09,295
There's no national archive center here.
194
00:14:09,939 --> 00:14:11,963
I gathered images from here and there.
195
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:13,556
Shots from films
196
00:14:13,580 --> 00:14:16,219
and footage
from foreign press...
197
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:29,780
We used to go by bus
198
00:14:30,099 --> 00:14:32,123
to the souks.
199
00:14:33,979 --> 00:14:36,972
At each corner, there were Egyptians
selling peanuts.
200
00:14:38,779 --> 00:14:40,892
With whom did you go to the souks?
201
00:14:50,179 --> 00:14:51,720
Takla.
202
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,664
Who's Takla?
203
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:58,143
The woman who cared for us
when we were children.
204
00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:01,836
- The Syrian nanny?
- Yes.
205
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,992
I love the sea, it is tender like you
and often crazy like you.
206
00:15:11,939 --> 00:15:14,051
Oh! This is St Georges resort.
207
00:15:15,099 --> 00:15:17,123
- You used to like the sea?
- A lot!
208
00:15:19,099 --> 00:15:21,123
Now you don't like it anymore!
209
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:26,524
Why you don't like the sea anymore?
210
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,732
So where's the sea?
211
00:15:36,099 --> 00:15:38,123
Behind. No, it's there...
212
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,015
Here.
213
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:46,271
This the Shouf mountain, over Jiyeh.
214
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:48,408
Really? It's that close?
215
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,676
That's Jiyeh there?
216
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,392
Where was your house?
217
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,915
Towards the Tayouneh roundabout.
218
00:15:55,179 --> 00:15:57,027
Behind the church was our house.
219
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,147
Can we go visit your house?
220
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:00,843
No.
221
00:16:01,819 --> 00:16:04,107
Why should we go there?
There's nothing left.
222
00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:06,444
Everything has changed.
223
00:16:12,979 --> 00:16:16,499
Didn't the war start
next to your house in 1975?
224
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:21,912
We heard shots fired next to the house.
225
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:26,676
We were told that Palestinians and
Phalangists were fighting against each other
226
00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:29,604
and that Palestinian fighters were nearby.
227
00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:33,299
We saw them from the balcony,
we were really scared.
228
00:16:35,179 --> 00:16:39,095
At the same time, Phalangists were making
sand barricades behind the house.
229
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,780
They asked us to leave immediately.
230
00:16:41,979 --> 00:16:45,279
My parents were confused...
They took some stuff and decided to leave.
231
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:48,079
As we were leaving, our house was hit.
232
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:51,359
Three missiles
landed in the living room.
233
00:16:52,739 --> 00:16:56,795
I was still at home,
looking for a book by ''Countess de Ségur''
234
00:16:56,819 --> 00:16:58,448
that I was reading.
235
00:16:58,779 --> 00:17:00,143
I fainted.
236
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,579
Takla came back to rescue me.
My mother was shouting downstairs.
237
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:05,692
The smell of gunpowder was everywhere.
238
00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:11,784
Your own war started that day?
239
00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:17,199
That day my life stopped,
my war started before.
240
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:27,191
What's the Countess de Ségur
story you were reading?
241
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,736
Several stupid stories
242
00:17:29,739 --> 00:17:32,755
of bourgeois people
living in a castle
243
00:17:32,779 --> 00:17:35,596
I was fond of them and totally
immersed in their world
244
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:37,071
I read them continuously.
245
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:43,343
- You refused your own reality?
- Yes.
246
00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:46,520
What did you wish to be?
247
00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:47,903
A countess.
248
00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:58,792
I will look like a cooking pot!
The camera angle is not right!
249
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:01,852
What's this dialect you're using?
250
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:04,327
It's Jordanian
251
00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:06,704
but there, they don't recognize it as such.
252
00:18:07,819 --> 00:18:11,956
I have the mixed Palestinian accent
of the cities.
253
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:14,824
Basically, the Palestinians of Amman.
254
00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:16,752
So we are searching for a woman
255
00:18:16,939 --> 00:18:19,396
to play the character of Michel's mother...
256
00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:21,355
Do I look like your mother?
257
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:24,464
The body language, a little bit
258
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:26,915
and maybe some similar mixed accent...
259
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,976
- Like mine?
- She was from Damascus.
260
00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:34,091
- She stretches her vowels?
- Not that much.
261
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:36,155
More of a mixed dialect, like you.
262
00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:39,343
So... Your son is Michel
263
00:18:39,939 --> 00:18:42,800
and he torments you...
- He torments me?
264
00:18:42,819 --> 00:18:46,648
He is ashamed of your Syrian accent...
He wants you to hide it.
265
00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:51,995
Pull yourself together!
266
00:18:52,019 --> 00:18:53,955
Why are you so vulnerable?
267
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:55,396
Who's better than you?
268
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:58,279
She'd repeat that tune continuously
and I would go crazy!
269
00:18:58,340 --> 00:19:00,452
Ok, I'll do this
the Palestinian way.
270
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:04,476
''Darling, when we had a cinema in Haifa,
Lebanese were still riding donkeys!''
271
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,347
''Stop being ashamed of yourself!''
272
00:19:06,420 --> 00:19:09,588
Mom used to say the same when she
compared Damascus to Mount Lebanon!
273
00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:11,424
“Lebanese are all peasants!”
274
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:13,528
“They are the ones
to blame for their war...
275
00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:15,648
''They are stupid!''
''Who do they think they are?''
276
00:19:15,899 --> 00:19:18,716
Exactly! Lebanese are just peasants!
277
00:19:18,779 --> 00:19:21,992
You act like those peasants
who think they are superior?
278
00:19:23,819 --> 00:19:25,712
I hated her for that tune!
279
00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:38,135
Did you love anyone?
280
00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:40,516
The Bionic man, Lee Majors.
281
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:43,704
I used to dream I'd be sleeping
with him...
282
00:19:43,859 --> 00:19:46,103
We wouldn't be screwing each other.
283
00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:49,035
He would just be hugging me.
284
00:19:50,739 --> 00:19:52,720
I was so innocent...
285
00:19:58,179 --> 00:20:01,039
I used to fall in love
with all the strong men.
286
00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:11,464
Could we ask you to let your hair down?
287
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:12,760
Sure.
288
00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:16,688
To the left or to the right?
289
00:20:16,859 --> 00:20:18,400
On both sides.
290
00:20:23,019 --> 00:20:25,087
- This is Jesus!
- Jesus??
291
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:28,356
There's a toga for you inside.
292
00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:29,480
A toga?
293
00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:46,395
So the scene is with
Jesus Christ.
294
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:49,708
He's laying while having supper.
295
00:20:51,139 --> 00:20:53,692
Suddenly, Mary Magdalene comes in.
296
00:20:53,899 --> 00:20:56,848
She cries and kisses his feet.
297
00:20:57,859 --> 00:21:01,335
That's the scene that
Eliane wants to shoot.
298
00:21:01,899 --> 00:21:04,556
- You will play Mary Magdalene?
- He will!
299
00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:06,648
You are Mary Magdalene!
300
00:21:15,739 --> 00:21:19,832
When I used to watch the film
about Jesus Christ's passion.
301
00:21:20,139 --> 00:21:22,119
I'd get aroused looking at Jesus.
302
00:21:22,139 --> 00:21:25,556
When Mary Magdalene
would be all over him…
303
00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:28,704
I'd go crazy…
I was nine years old.
304
00:21:28,779 --> 00:21:31,331
- She wants to re-enact this scene.
- OK.
305
00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:34,191
- Do you have a problem?
- With what?
306
00:21:34,580 --> 00:21:36,824
That I would jump on him?
307
00:21:41,819 --> 00:21:45,207
Depends if we'd cross the limits.
308
00:21:45,540 --> 00:21:49,356
No, the Magdalene doesn't sleep with Jesus.
309
00:21:49,380 --> 00:21:52,415
Also, Jesus is all about forgiveness.
310
00:21:59,059 --> 00:22:01,788
I was madly in love with Jesus Christ.
311
00:22:06,139 --> 00:22:09,219
And I was obsessed
with this scene in the film.
312
00:22:10,099 --> 00:22:12,255
Once, I remember.
313
00:22:12,660 --> 00:22:15,828
We used to sleep in the
living room, during the war
314
00:22:15,859 --> 00:22:19,423
we'd put mattresses on the floor,
as it was the safest place.
315
00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:23,492
The sound of the bombs
was very loud
316
00:22:23,540 --> 00:22:26,135
I woke up and saw... my father.
317
00:22:26,580 --> 00:22:30,495
His foot was dangling out of the sheets.
318
00:22:33,340 --> 00:22:36,155
I felt I needed to either touch it
319
00:22:36,220 --> 00:22:37,716
or I'd go crazy
320
00:22:37,819 --> 00:22:40,460
I knew I was doing something wrong.
321
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:43,656
But I wanted to re-enact
the scene of the Magdalene
322
00:22:43,859 --> 00:22:45,356
with my dad
323
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:46,732
I kissed his foot.
324
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:48,488
He instantly woke up
325
00:22:48,819 --> 00:22:50,580
“What are you doing!”
326
00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:51,979
Everybody woke up
327
00:22:52,059 --> 00:22:54,039
I was shivering and shouting:
''It's not me!''
328
00:22:54,179 --> 00:22:56,688
My mother was screaming:
''What's going on?''
329
00:23:01,260 --> 00:23:05,175
I had completely erased this story
from my memory…
330
00:23:05,979 --> 00:23:07,959
I just remembered it.
331
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:13,844
Did you ever have a
therapist analyze this story?
332
00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:17,467
I always chose what to tell
my therapists.
333
00:23:17,620 --> 00:23:19,776
I'd lead them where I want.
334
00:23:20,620 --> 00:23:22,600
Because I was ashamed.
335
00:23:22,739 --> 00:23:25,556
Stories like the one with
the feet embarrassed me.
336
00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:32,455
- Can you sing Byzantine chants?
- No.
337
00:23:32,540 --> 00:23:33,859
Yes you can.
338
00:23:36,660 --> 00:23:38,420
I don't want to.
339
00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:40,291
Why should I? Explain it to me.
340
00:23:40,660 --> 00:23:44,355
Convince me that I should sing
Byzantine chants.
341
00:23:44,380 --> 00:23:46,183
Because this place is beautiful
342
00:23:47,739 --> 00:23:50,688
and your father grew up in this monastery
343
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:53,031
and there's a nice spiritual feel.
344
00:23:57,220 --> 00:23:58,716
I'm not convinced.
345
00:23:59,819 --> 00:24:01,492
I don't want to chant!
346
00:24:11,979 --> 00:24:14,620
The wounded spirit
347
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:19,451
of a sad parent
348
00:24:23,620 --> 00:24:27,580
was kept in the agony
349
00:24:28,179 --> 00:24:30,247
of shame
350
00:24:31,460 --> 00:24:34,716
and grief.
351
00:24:53,779 --> 00:24:58,575
Was kept in the agony
352
00:25:00,340 --> 00:25:05,575
of shame and grief.
353
00:25:08,620 --> 00:25:12,844
I still feel I'm screaming sometimes.
354
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:15,311
How about singing
in front of an audience?
355
00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:17,708
I will be mute.
356
00:25:18,179 --> 00:25:19,279
No!
357
00:25:19,460 --> 00:25:20,516
Really
358
00:25:20,540 --> 00:25:22,476
I believe you'd better give it a try.
359
00:25:23,899 --> 00:25:25,792
It really scares me.
360
00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:28,816
How people see me
and their opinion of me.
361
00:25:29,220 --> 00:25:31,596
This is why I can't sing in public.
362
00:25:32,340 --> 00:25:35,199
Are you still feeling
your parents' gaze?
363
00:25:35,739 --> 00:25:37,103
Yes... Probably.
364
00:25:37,939 --> 00:25:40,932
Indeed I'm still haunted
by my parents' opinion.
365
00:25:41,380 --> 00:25:43,800
- That you would fail in in their eyes?
- Yes.
366
00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:48,804
What a fool!
367
00:26:02,059 --> 00:26:04,171
Now you're 13-14-15 years old.
368
00:26:05,380 --> 00:26:07,051
Yes.
369
00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:08,844
What are you thinking about?
370
00:26:15,739 --> 00:26:19,479
There's something abnormal
in me.
371
00:26:19,899 --> 00:26:23,111
I must get rid of it
as soon as possible.
372
00:26:37,660 --> 00:26:40,960
How did you become more conscious
of your sexual identity?
373
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,612
We would go to the beach
374
00:26:43,739 --> 00:26:45,456
I would die.
375
00:26:47,660 --> 00:26:51,047
I wanted to touch
men's bodies so badly.
376
00:26:52,099 --> 00:26:54,299
I used to like older men.
377
00:26:55,899 --> 00:26:59,155
I used to hitchhike a lot.
378
00:26:59,739 --> 00:27:02,476
Once a guy gave me a ride.
379
00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:04,699
He started flirting with me.
380
00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:07,780
He caressed my thigh
and said: ''You like men?''
381
00:27:07,859 --> 00:27:10,632
I shouted: ''No! I want to be
a priest''.
382
00:27:10,779 --> 00:27:13,155
''Stop your car, I want to go out!''
383
00:27:13,779 --> 00:27:16,375
He laughed loudly:
''You do like men!''
384
00:27:16,500 --> 00:27:18,744
He was the first one
to say it clearly to me.
385
00:27:19,340 --> 00:27:21,452
Wasn't the word ''Homosexual'' common?
386
00:27:21,739 --> 00:27:23,235
No, not at all!
387
00:27:23,620 --> 00:27:26,612
I first heard the word ''Homosexual''
in Spain.
388
00:27:29,139 --> 00:27:32,043
- Did you ever try to tell your parents?
- Once.
389
00:27:32,220 --> 00:27:36,531
I shouted: ''If you knew what I am living,
you would commit suicide!''
390
00:27:36,779 --> 00:27:40,035
I cried and said:
''I think I am into boys''.
391
00:27:42,979 --> 00:27:46,455
My mom was petrified!
392
00:27:47,260 --> 00:27:49,987
Forgive us Lord.
393
00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:54,227
We offended you.
394
00:27:56,460 --> 00:27:58,440
Forgive us...
395
00:27:59,460 --> 00:28:02,804
My father...
He gave me this explanation.
396
00:28:03,059 --> 00:28:06,447
''We are doomed to act
like dirty animals.''
397
00:28:06,739 --> 00:28:08,676
He meant the act of fucking.
398
00:28:08,779 --> 00:28:11,684
''Procreation is the thing
that saves us from this sin.''
399
00:28:11,739 --> 00:28:13,983
''Because God wants us to have children''.
400
00:28:15,939 --> 00:28:19,459
- So your parents' sex life...
- I have my own theory about it!
401
00:28:19,700 --> 00:28:21,812
I believe they fucked 4 times only
402
00:28:21,899 --> 00:28:23,440
and had 4 children.
403
00:28:23,859 --> 00:28:26,059
I'm sure they prayed a lot
before the act
404
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:28,780
and asked God for forgiveness!
405
00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:31,876
Aren't you ashamed of saying this?
406
00:28:31,939 --> 00:28:33,480
No.
407
00:28:33,819 --> 00:28:37,075
I am not ashamed,
God doesn't exist!
408
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:41,556
And the priest you confessed to,
what did he say?
409
00:28:41,580 --> 00:28:44,131
That the devil was in my body.
410
00:28:44,580 --> 00:28:48,495
He said: ''Fight the devil now
before he gets your soul''.
411
00:28:50,739 --> 00:28:52,279
I started punishing myself.
412
00:28:52,939 --> 00:28:55,403
I started kneeling on lentil seeds
413
00:28:55,620 --> 00:28:57,776
and even chickpeas
414
00:28:57,979 --> 00:29:00,091
to torture myself even more.
415
00:29:00,899 --> 00:29:03,980
I would carry the Virgin Mary
with me inside the shower
416
00:29:04,340 --> 00:29:08,079
so that she would prevent me
from having erotic thoughts.
417
00:29:08,859 --> 00:29:12,236
It's so degrading,
you'd want to jump off a cliff
418
00:29:12,260 --> 00:29:14,019
and be done with yourself.
419
00:29:16,739 --> 00:29:19,995
I often asked myself:
Why am I so bad?
420
00:29:20,019 --> 00:29:22,528
What have I done to deserve this?
421
00:29:26,819 --> 00:29:29,415
And the devil won...
422
00:29:32,260 --> 00:29:35,251
In the end, we're all bad,
aren't we?
423
00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:41,684
When I joined the Lebanese Forces
424
00:29:41,939 --> 00:29:45,283
the militiamen would touch my ass
and laugh at me.
425
00:29:45,540 --> 00:29:49,455
I understood that I was losing
my battle against the devil.
426
00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:55,728
That's when I started going crazy.
427
00:29:57,019 --> 00:29:58,560
Stand up!
428
00:29:58,979 --> 00:30:02,544
They used to tease me:
“How soft you are!”
429
00:30:03,766 --> 00:30:07,639
I would come in my pants
four times a day.
430
00:30:09,779 --> 00:30:11,055
He can be a character.
431
00:30:13,660 --> 00:30:15,904
Can you play the confident Macho?
432
00:30:17,460 --> 00:30:19,616
You can be violent?
433
00:30:20,979 --> 00:30:23,135
Unfortunately yes...
434
00:30:24,179 --> 00:30:27,039
- Let me pass first, I am hungry.
- No, I am first.
435
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:30,007
- Sweety let me pass...
- No.
436
00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:34,007
Enough now! Let me pass!
437
00:30:35,779 --> 00:30:37,804
I'll get back to you in a while
438
00:30:37,939 --> 00:30:40,095
I was aroused day and night.
439
00:30:40,979 --> 00:30:44,896
I couldn't sleep at night...
I was totally obsessed with them.
440
00:30:48,340 --> 00:30:51,948
This one... Could he be the rapist?
441
00:30:53,220 --> 00:30:55,199
Probably, yes...
442
00:30:55,580 --> 00:30:58,484
- Can't he be Tony?
- Not at all!
443
00:31:01,099 --> 00:31:05,103
Can't you see the effort I am making
not to beat you?
444
00:31:06,620 --> 00:31:08,512
People like you...
445
00:31:08,620 --> 00:31:10,600
they should be executed!
446
00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:15,051
The first time I realized
that I wanted more
447
00:31:15,420 --> 00:31:18,896
was when I saw porn magazines
at the barracks.
448
00:31:19,420 --> 00:31:22,367
I understood
I wanted to play the woman role!
449
00:31:24,179 --> 00:31:28,624
A beautiful blond girl...
I caught her and took her to the room.
450
00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:43,195
I envy you women,
you can put make up everyday.
451
00:31:44,220 --> 00:31:45,979
That's fun.
452
00:31:50,340 --> 00:31:53,904
Since we still haven't found
the lady who'll play your mom.
453
00:31:54,179 --> 00:31:55,939
You'll have to do that!
454
00:31:56,220 --> 00:31:59,564
But mom never put on
so much eye shadow!
455
00:32:00,939 --> 00:32:03,403
And she was not bald.
456
00:32:05,540 --> 00:32:07,959
She had beautiful hair...
457
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:11,276
She was sophisticated
and had beautiful black hair.
458
00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:12,620
Just stunning.
459
00:32:13,779 --> 00:32:15,319
Can you put that shirt on?
460
00:32:15,380 --> 00:32:16,612
Yes.
461
00:32:17,099 --> 00:32:18,903
Are you ready for this?
462
00:32:24,260 --> 00:32:25,624
''Michel...''
463
00:32:26,059 --> 00:32:27,600
''Walk straight''.
464
00:32:27,660 --> 00:32:28,804
''Always walk straight''.
465
00:32:28,979 --> 00:32:30,696
''Be worthy''.
466
00:32:30,739 --> 00:32:33,115
''Look me in the eye. Be worthy''.
467
00:32:33,899 --> 00:32:36,980
That's all I remember from my mother.
468
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:40,071
''Look me in the eye. Be worthy''.
469
00:32:41,380 --> 00:32:42,788
Walk straight.
470
00:32:49,580 --> 00:32:52,572
Since then, my life has zigzagged.
471
00:32:54,580 --> 00:32:56,824
I was fucked by every guy I met.
472
00:32:57,380 --> 00:32:59,712
I stumbled into every hole.
473
00:32:59,939 --> 00:33:03,151
I fell into every possible garbage bin
on my way.
474
00:33:05,739 --> 00:33:08,864
But I had fun at least...
475
00:33:11,139 --> 00:33:14,915
You once said that she told you:
''You can't be my son''.
476
00:33:14,939 --> 00:33:16,039
Yes.
477
00:33:16,099 --> 00:33:19,091
Tell me, how did she say that to you?
478
00:33:22,620 --> 00:33:25,215
These things, I cannot act.
479
00:33:28,460 --> 00:33:30,792
I can portray whatever you want me to
480
00:33:31,019 --> 00:33:34,584
but I can't act my mother saying:
“You can't be my son”.
481
00:33:34,620 --> 00:33:36,864
Although she did say that.
482
00:33:37,660 --> 00:33:38,760
Cut!
483
00:33:41,739 --> 00:33:43,499
- That's it?
- Yes.
484
00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:44,600
Cut.
485
00:33:45,660 --> 00:33:47,991
Do you think she can see me?
486
00:33:48,099 --> 00:33:49,947
From above?
487
00:34:26,580 --> 00:34:29,263
Here is a group of girl friends!
How are you?
488
00:34:30,660 --> 00:34:33,476
You all look like you work
in a beauty center.
489
00:34:34,099 --> 00:34:37,091
Or whores, because you are all
so pimped out...
490
00:34:37,979 --> 00:34:39,123
Do you have a boyfriend?
491
00:34:39,540 --> 00:34:41,167
- Yes.
- Where is he?
492
00:34:41,260 --> 00:34:42,668
In the United States.
493
00:34:44,620 --> 00:34:46,644
He sent me a bouquet of roses!
494
00:34:47,019 --> 00:34:49,836
He sent you roses,
but he won't eat your pussy!
495
00:34:50,899 --> 00:34:52,923
What will you do tonight?
496
00:34:53,019 --> 00:34:55,219
Have sex with the bouquet!
497
00:34:56,979 --> 00:35:00,764
Don't remove the thorns!
At least you will feel something!
498
00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:03,608
If someone gives me a bouquet of roses
499
00:35:03,620 --> 00:35:06,920
while I am alone, drunk, horny
and willing to fuck.
500
00:35:07,220 --> 00:35:08,628
I'd go Ahhh!!!
501
00:35:09,220 --> 00:35:12,255
I'd also add a shell fish
all over!
502
00:35:13,340 --> 00:35:15,804
Here, there aren't
lot of pussies...
503
00:35:16,859 --> 00:35:19,103
This pussy has no hair!
504
00:35:19,340 --> 00:35:21,011
Such a bald pussy!
505
00:35:21,300 --> 00:35:23,940
A little bird told me it's your birthday.
506
00:35:24,139 --> 00:35:24,624
Yes.
507
00:35:24,779 --> 00:35:26,716
Don't say anything, it's not needed...
508
00:35:26,859 --> 00:35:30,732
Me, when my birthday gets closer,
I start wearing black...
509
00:35:30,819 --> 00:35:31,963
Just in case...
510
00:35:32,979 --> 00:35:35,576
- I am 23
- 23!
511
00:35:37,660 --> 00:35:41,135
The woman there says no...
She's so mean!
512
00:35:42,460 --> 00:35:44,835
If you want to deny this man's age.
513
00:35:44,859 --> 00:35:47,367
Say yours and show us your ID card!
514
00:35:48,260 --> 00:35:50,416
If not, shut up, bitch!
515
00:35:56,899 --> 00:35:59,892
Ruben, Miguel was translating your show
for me.
516
00:35:59,899 --> 00:36:01,880
It's very vulgar!
517
00:36:02,139 --> 00:36:05,924
- Sorry? He said I am vulgar?
- No!
518
00:36:06,260 --> 00:36:08,680
No, she is a bitch!
519
00:36:10,099 --> 00:36:13,708
She is your friend!
You brought this bitch to my place!
520
00:36:14,620 --> 00:36:17,955
To think that people might find me
vulgar or not...
521
00:36:17,979 --> 00:36:19,520
I don't give a shit about that!
522
00:36:19,939 --> 00:36:22,095
Miguel is vulgar as well...
523
00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:24,852
She really insists! That I am vulgar!
524
00:36:25,019 --> 00:36:27,968
- I am extremely vulgar.
- For sure you are!
525
00:36:28,540 --> 00:36:30,476
So tell me about your fantasies
526
00:36:30,580 --> 00:36:32,251
I have many!
527
00:36:32,939 --> 00:36:36,356
- Consecutive fantasies?
- Yes, with frenetic lovers.
528
00:36:36,380 --> 00:36:39,115
The ones who last between ten minutes
and half an hour.
529
00:36:39,139 --> 00:36:41,207
How interesting!
530
00:36:42,899 --> 00:36:45,363
I am a woman for one man.
531
00:36:45,580 --> 00:36:47,736
Consecutively...
532
00:36:58,179 --> 00:37:02,008
Look at this one...
His name is 23 cm.
533
00:37:05,500 --> 00:37:08,183
There is another one... Where is he?
534
00:37:13,139 --> 00:37:15,824
This guy sent me this picture.
535
00:37:17,580 --> 00:37:20,219
It was his hello.
536
00:37:20,420 --> 00:37:24,028
If I show you the pictures
I send about myself...
537
00:37:24,819 --> 00:37:26,492
You'd be embarrassed!
538
00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:28,995
You said before that you
acted in a porno...
539
00:37:29,019 --> 00:37:31,440
Yes and I can't find it!
540
00:37:34,779 --> 00:37:36,584
How many men have you met
this way?
541
00:37:36,779 --> 00:37:37,967
A thousand.
542
00:37:38,179 --> 00:37:40,027
Most of them, I don't know their names.
543
00:37:40,580 --> 00:37:43,351
- You don't care about their names?
- No.
544
00:37:43,620 --> 00:37:45,776
Or at least know what they do?
545
00:37:46,660 --> 00:37:49,696
Should I waste my time
with a date around dinner?
546
00:37:50,179 --> 00:37:52,468
Or around cinema?
547
00:37:55,540 --> 00:37:58,179
I'm just looking for quick sex...
548
00:37:58,899 --> 00:38:01,892
Why is sex separate from love
for you?
549
00:38:01,939 --> 00:38:07,176
If I knew the answer
I wouldn't be still searching for it.
550
00:38:07,580 --> 00:38:11,231
- Are they that much separate?
- Yes for sure.
551
00:38:15,700 --> 00:38:17,416
Syria.
552
00:38:19,260 --> 00:38:20,887
Lebanon.
553
00:38:22,580 --> 00:38:23,724
The Syrian troops entered.
554
00:38:24,179 --> 00:38:25,279
Lebanon!
555
00:38:26,260 --> 00:38:28,151
''The Syrian troops entered Lebanon!''
556
00:38:29,340 --> 00:38:31,055
''What did the Syrians came to do?''
557
00:38:32,739 --> 00:38:34,588
Who allowed the Syrians
to violate us?
558
00:38:35,179 --> 00:38:36,324
We won't accept it!
559
00:38:39,580 --> 00:38:43,055
Other than your battle with the devil,
what was your war about?
560
00:38:43,979 --> 00:38:48,644
I was always afraid someone
would guess that mom is Syrian.
561
00:38:54,099 --> 00:38:57,179
Look at me, lift your head up.
562
00:38:57,580 --> 00:38:59,295
Look me in the eyes, now.
563
00:38:59,580 --> 00:39:01,119
I was ashamed of her!
564
00:39:01,700 --> 00:39:04,383
What triggered this shame?
565
00:39:05,779 --> 00:39:07,496
Lebanese people.
566
00:39:07,660 --> 00:39:09,199
School teachers.
567
00:39:09,739 --> 00:39:13,303
They were all stupidly racist
against anything Syrian.
568
00:39:13,739 --> 00:39:15,764
So you want to be a pure Lebanese!
569
00:39:15,979 --> 00:39:17,740
Especially during the war
570
00:39:17,899 --> 00:39:19,748
when Bashir Gemayel was the leader.
571
00:39:21,700 --> 00:39:23,327
No, No! He can't be my son…
572
00:39:24,340 --> 00:39:25,676
He's not my son!
573
00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:26,800
Enough!
574
00:39:31,819 --> 00:39:35,604
What did your mom say about
the Syrian army's presence in Lebanon?
575
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:41,120
She used to brag:
''The Syrian army came to put some order''.
576
00:39:42,460 --> 00:39:44,484
I hated her for saying that!
577
00:39:48,859 --> 00:39:50,840
Hey you Syrian!
578
00:39:51,260 --> 00:39:55,795
Pack the fridges, tvs, carpets
that you stole from here.
579
00:39:55,819 --> 00:39:57,800
Take everything but just LEAVE!
580
00:40:04,779 --> 00:40:07,155
Our Lebanon is 10452 km²
581
00:40:07,899 --> 00:40:10,319
and we won't accept any other area!
582
00:40:24,660 --> 00:40:26,684
Don't eat like pigs.
583
00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:39,251
Look at me.
584
00:40:40,340 --> 00:40:41,715
Stop these bad manners.
585
00:40:41,739 --> 00:40:42,839
Stop it!
586
00:40:43,859 --> 00:40:45,091
Stop making noise!
587
00:40:46,340 --> 00:40:48,143
What's this stupid dialect?
588
00:40:48,779 --> 00:40:50,496
You dare mock me!
589
00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:53,023
Enough! Leave me alone!
590
00:40:53,340 --> 00:40:54,528
Keep your voice down!
591
00:40:55,859 --> 00:40:56,959
I don't want to!
592
00:40:57,019 --> 00:40:58,119
Shut up!
593
00:40:59,139 --> 00:41:00,239
Stop it!
594
00:41:01,179 --> 00:41:03,776
Our Lebanon is10452 km²
and this is the area we want!
595
00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:12,207
And you?
You're just silent!
596
00:41:12,260 --> 00:41:14,504
You have nothing to say
to your son Michel?
597
00:41:14,580 --> 00:41:15,943
Leave me alone!
598
00:41:17,540 --> 00:41:19,476
- Leave me alone.
- Don't argue with me.
599
00:41:20,340 --> 00:41:22,187
- Lower your voice!
- Leave me alone!
600
00:41:22,660 --> 00:41:24,420
Shut up!
601
00:41:29,700 --> 00:41:31,943
You dare to laugh!
602
00:41:33,260 --> 00:41:34,712
Put your hand down!
603
00:41:37,340 --> 00:41:39,187
Cut it...
604
00:41:42,620 --> 00:41:44,776
The play is over, right?
605
00:41:55,979 --> 00:41:58,532
You don't seem convinced...
606
00:41:59,540 --> 00:42:02,047
A little bit...
607
00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:09,624
Nobody is entitled to play
your mother?
608
00:42:11,939 --> 00:42:15,900
Or you don't want your story
to become the property of others?
609
00:42:17,059 --> 00:42:19,832
It's not that I don't want...
I am afraid.
610
00:42:20,179 --> 00:42:21,544
I am terribly scared.
611
00:42:22,460 --> 00:42:25,716
What if there's a heaven...
612
00:42:26,099 --> 00:42:28,715
and my parents are looking at me
from above?
613
00:42:28,739 --> 00:42:29,839
It freaks me out.
614
00:42:31,620 --> 00:42:34,127
And you?
You're just silent!
615
00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:37,199
Your son is a loser.
616
00:42:37,899 --> 00:42:39,748
He doesn't resemble me.
617
00:42:39,899 --> 00:42:41,748
He drives me crazy!
618
00:42:42,019 --> 00:42:43,999
You also make me mad!
619
00:42:44,300 --> 00:42:46,103
You stay quiet like a mouse!
620
00:42:46,420 --> 00:42:49,059
You're just a rag, a wet rag!
621
00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:56,736
So she looks at you...
And then what?
622
00:42:58,540 --> 00:43:01,796
Something big will happen
when the film is out.
623
00:43:02,260 --> 00:43:03,404
A big thunder
624
00:43:03,500 --> 00:43:04,820
with a voice shouting.
625
00:43:05,859 --> 00:43:08,852
''How dare you demean your mother
like this?''
626
00:43:14,819 --> 00:43:16,712
And your father?
627
00:43:17,739 --> 00:43:19,939
My dad...
628
00:43:24,739 --> 00:43:27,071
Do you love your dad?
629
00:43:48,979 --> 00:43:52,147
So now you're 17 years old...
630
00:43:53,220 --> 00:43:55,420
17, 18...
631
00:43:58,859 --> 00:44:00,752
I am dreaming
632
00:44:01,580 --> 00:44:05,231
of leaving Lebanon...
I want to go away
633
00:44:05,460 --> 00:44:08,075
and forget this country
and everything related to it.
634
00:44:08,099 --> 00:44:10,696
But in reality you can't leave...
635
00:44:10,700 --> 00:44:11,975
True.
636
00:44:13,819 --> 00:44:16,636
I created my own world.
637
00:44:21,099 --> 00:44:23,123
Which tape are you listening to?
638
00:44:23,139 --> 00:44:25,119
The crying tape.
639
00:44:25,819 --> 00:44:27,668
A Beethoven concert.
640
00:44:31,220 --> 00:44:34,387
I recorded it in a loop.
641
00:44:34,700 --> 00:44:36,987
So that I keep on crying.
642
00:44:53,220 --> 00:44:54,979
He can't be my son!
643
00:44:58,179 --> 00:44:59,939
He drives me crazy!
644
00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:17,467
I started dreaming there's an earthquake.
645
00:45:18,260 --> 00:45:21,427
Lebanon breaks away from Syria
and the Arab world.
646
00:45:22,580 --> 00:45:24,207
It floats in the sea...
647
00:45:27,700 --> 00:45:30,604
My dream was to reach Italy
and stay there.
648
00:45:50,899 --> 00:45:53,143
The problem in the dream's script
649
00:45:53,779 --> 00:45:56,287
was to find a solution
650
00:45:56,660 --> 00:46:00,004
so that only the Christians reach Italy?
651
00:46:02,939 --> 00:46:06,415
How could Muslims fall off of Lebanon
while Christians remain on board?
652
00:46:07,739 --> 00:46:10,203
Let's finish with the Shi'a!
653
00:46:14,300 --> 00:46:18,127
And the Druze really screwed my plan!
They were all over the Mountain
654
00:46:18,460 --> 00:46:20,967
but with Christians among them...
What should I do?
655
00:46:21,859 --> 00:46:24,500
An earthquake followed
by a volcano.
656
00:46:24,739 --> 00:46:26,632
It would surely kill them.
657
00:46:27,340 --> 00:46:31,784
A volcano with specific craters
that would target Druze people!
658
00:46:32,059 --> 00:46:33,907
It was a difficult plan!
659
00:46:35,779 --> 00:46:39,916
And in this trip to Italy,
what would you do with your mother?
660
00:46:40,460 --> 00:46:41,692
What shall I do with her?
661
00:46:42,099 --> 00:46:43,903
Where is your mother from?
662
00:46:44,099 --> 00:46:45,552
I am Lebanese!
663
00:46:45,899 --> 00:46:46,867
You're so low.
664
00:46:46,899 --> 00:46:48,087
Get out of my sight!
665
00:46:48,660 --> 00:46:49,891
I am purely Lebanese!
666
00:46:51,059 --> 00:46:53,171
National Anthem of Lebanon.
667
00:46:53,779 --> 00:46:55,892
Thank God you're half Syrian!
668
00:46:56,139 --> 00:46:58,868
All of your Lebanon is as big as
one street in Damascus!
669
00:46:58,939 --> 00:47:00,832
Syrians and Palestinians OUT.
670
00:47:00,859 --> 00:47:03,764
Defend your land and your nation now!
671
00:47:04,220 --> 00:47:08,091
This land is for us...
No Palestinians and no Syrians
672
00:47:08,420 --> 00:47:10,840
will dare steal it from us.
673
00:47:11,580 --> 00:47:14,395
And how did your dream end?
674
00:47:22,179 --> 00:47:24,379
I wanted to slaughter my mom.
675
00:47:24,979 --> 00:47:29,599
I dreamed everyday that I would grab
a kitchen knife and kill her.
676
00:47:30,059 --> 00:47:32,568
While Syria would burn...
677
00:47:33,179 --> 00:47:36,127
and be totally wrecked,
destroyed... in ruins.
678
00:47:57,260 --> 00:48:00,912
If I could change one thing in my life...
679
00:48:01,899 --> 00:48:04,936
I'd like to go back to when I was 17
680
00:48:05,260 --> 00:48:06,756
and meet someone...
681
00:48:07,260 --> 00:48:09,371
who'd take care of me.
682
00:48:30,179 --> 00:48:32,203
Why are you crying?
683
00:48:37,380 --> 00:48:40,636
Because I am in my fifties
and I never loved anyone.
684
00:48:43,179 --> 00:48:46,964
I've been fucked by 2000 men
and I didn't love anyone...
685
00:48:48,899 --> 00:48:50,967
because of all of them...
686
00:48:52,660 --> 00:48:55,075
What are you scared of?
687
00:48:55,099 --> 00:48:56,464
Up!
688
00:48:58,580 --> 00:49:00,692
Stand up, you pussy!
689
00:49:01,739 --> 00:49:03,103
Pull yourself together!
690
00:49:18,220 --> 00:49:23,499
A fighter in the 1983 Mountain war...
There were 5000 kind of fighters!
691
00:49:24,179 --> 00:49:27,476
Was it during the battles of Shahar
or Bhamdoun?
692
00:49:27,500 --> 00:49:28,776
I don't know.
693
00:49:29,540 --> 00:49:32,003
- Which battles?
- I don't know.
694
00:49:32,420 --> 00:49:35,720
- Any specific region?
- I don't know.
695
00:49:37,859 --> 00:49:40,235
- Which battles did you fight?
- I don't know.
696
00:49:40,739 --> 00:49:44,479
I don't mean to make this
tougher on you...
697
00:49:45,540 --> 00:49:48,091
- How come you don't know?
- I swear I don't know…
698
00:49:48,179 --> 00:49:50,864
I can fabricate the fighter you want.
699
00:49:53,979 --> 00:49:56,223
- Jiyeh battle!
- Jiyeh...
700
00:49:57,220 --> 00:50:01,004
Here's a story
that will make you feel heroic.
701
00:50:02,179 --> 00:50:05,215
Let me tell you the great things
I did.
702
00:50:05,260 --> 00:50:06,360
Listen!
703
00:50:11,939 --> 00:50:15,592
I guess you want to take me to Jiyeh?
704
00:50:18,859 --> 00:50:20,356
You don't want to go to Jiyeh?
705
00:50:21,019 --> 00:50:22,911
I don't remember anything there!
706
00:50:23,220 --> 00:50:26,211
You don't remember
or you don't want to remember?
707
00:50:29,660 --> 00:50:32,211
I don't remember anything.
708
00:50:35,420 --> 00:50:38,940
This is the port of Jiyeh's power plant...
709
00:50:40,979 --> 00:50:43,840
This is where the real war started
for you?
710
00:50:44,139 --> 00:50:46,736
Yes, I came here in a boat
with Tony.
711
00:50:47,139 --> 00:50:49,516
We came many times and transported people.
712
00:50:50,019 --> 00:50:51,472
Or wasn't it here?
713
00:50:51,779 --> 00:50:53,055
It was here.
714
00:50:53,620 --> 00:50:54,895
Yes, here...
715
00:50:58,540 --> 00:51:00,388
There was a hill up there.
716
00:51:04,260 --> 00:51:06,107
I remember these hills
717
00:51:06,380 --> 00:51:09,768
because on our last day here
when we were fleeing in boats.
718
00:51:09,819 --> 00:51:13,912
The Syrian tanks fired rockets
on our cruiser from the hills.
719
00:51:14,300 --> 00:51:18,303
The shells were exploding in the water
all around us.
720
00:51:18,700 --> 00:51:24,507
I remember praying that
the cruiser would leave.
721
00:51:25,019 --> 00:51:29,556
I couldn't care less about the dead bodies
and the injured people.
722
00:51:29,580 --> 00:51:33,259
- Who were those people?
- They were emptying Jiyeh from its people.
723
00:51:33,260 --> 00:51:34,492
Who?
724
00:51:35,979 --> 00:51:39,544
Young men and other people
who were evacuated.
725
00:51:39,580 --> 00:51:42,880
Who was against whom
in the Mountain War?
726
00:51:43,580 --> 00:51:47,436
I had no clue… I was with
the Lebanese Forces Christian militia
727
00:51:47,460 --> 00:51:50,672
I thought that we were fighting
the Shi'a Muslims.
728
00:51:50,779 --> 00:51:53,992
Lately I found out that
we were fighting the Druze!
729
00:51:54,739 --> 00:51:56,632
I have a line here
730
00:51:56,819 --> 00:51:59,548
I'm thinking about filling it
with Botox.
731
00:52:02,460 --> 00:52:04,528
- Did you take part in the war?
- Sure.
732
00:52:04,939 --> 00:52:06,700
In 1983, where were you?
733
00:52:07,300 --> 00:52:08,840
I was in the Mountain.
734
00:52:09,380 --> 00:52:13,912
The war was between
the Lebanese Forces militia
735
00:52:14,220 --> 00:52:17,123
and the Progressive Socialist Party
(Druze faction)
736
00:52:17,700 --> 00:52:20,824
The Israelis were still occupying Lebanon.
737
00:52:21,300 --> 00:52:24,027
We received orders
to defend our villages.
738
00:52:24,340 --> 00:52:27,860
I trained to fight under
the Progressive Socialist Party.
739
00:52:28,979 --> 00:52:31,003
It was hilarious.
740
00:52:31,939 --> 00:52:35,107
The guy who was training us
was cross-eyed!
741
00:52:41,660 --> 00:52:46,367
3 months in the Mountain War,
without knowing who your enemy was?
742
00:52:46,500 --> 00:52:48,676
I didn't do battles!
743
00:52:48,700 --> 00:52:52,792
Do I really look like a warrior?
Do I look like Rambo?
744
00:52:53,580 --> 00:52:56,835
But you had a warrior's beard!
I saw it in the photo.
745
00:52:56,859 --> 00:52:59,367
Because we couldn't shave every morning.
746
00:52:59,460 --> 00:53:01,704
But you looked like a real militiaman!
747
00:53:01,779 --> 00:53:04,199
Now you're acting like a victim.
748
00:53:04,540 --> 00:53:06,959
I was not a victim.
749
00:53:07,220 --> 00:53:10,431
But I was not the one attacking.
750
00:53:10,819 --> 00:53:15,924
I was just handing the others ammunition...
- Did you kill people?
751
00:53:17,819 --> 00:53:21,427
Heading to kill someone like that?
No, I didn't do it.
752
00:53:21,899 --> 00:53:24,231
No I didn't kill.
753
00:53:26,819 --> 00:53:30,075
You would have liked me to kill people?
754
00:53:32,700 --> 00:53:34,107
So...
755
00:53:34,620 --> 00:53:36,995
Shall I fill here with Botox?
756
00:53:39,460 --> 00:53:42,540
Who's this guy wearing glasses
next to you?
757
00:53:43,260 --> 00:53:45,460
What is his role?
758
00:53:47,220 --> 00:53:49,991
This silent man is also a former fighter.
759
00:53:50,179 --> 00:53:51,544
Ah.
760
00:53:53,260 --> 00:53:54,844
An ex-fighter...
761
00:53:55,099 --> 00:53:57,299
can't be fixed with Botox.
762
00:53:58,620 --> 00:54:01,171
There's a real damage inside him...
763
00:54:04,580 --> 00:54:06,912
You see, the war was beautiful…
764
00:54:08,380 --> 00:54:11,371
Really beautiful…
765
00:54:13,979 --> 00:54:15,784
In Shatila.
766
00:54:16,139 --> 00:54:18,428
After I slaughtered a whole family.
767
00:54:18,899 --> 00:54:22,419
I saw a girl running on the other side.
768
00:54:23,139 --> 00:54:26,836
A beautiful young blond girl,
I caught her…
769
00:54:29,660 --> 00:54:33,636
You said to me that the war
drove you crazy.
770
00:54:33,660 --> 00:54:36,155
Indeed... Do I have to kill
to lose my mind?
771
00:54:36,179 --> 00:54:38,715
So what was the thing
that drove you crazy?
772
00:54:38,739 --> 00:54:40,896
The crazy stories I heard here!
773
00:54:40,939 --> 00:54:44,151
Like that militiaman...
- What about him?
774
00:54:45,779 --> 00:54:48,464
I don't even remember his name...
775
00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:50,592
It was here...
776
00:54:50,700 --> 00:54:52,987
I can't say where exactly,
but here.
777
00:54:53,460 --> 00:54:56,231
He told me...
778
00:54:56,460 --> 00:54:58,924
...how he raped.
779
00:54:59,660 --> 00:55:03,531
Palestinian girls at the Sabra
and Shatila camps
780
00:55:04,779 --> 00:55:07,067
and how they died.
781
00:55:09,939 --> 00:55:12,844
- What else did he do?
- He got aroused.
782
00:55:12,939 --> 00:55:15,007
He started playing with himself...
783
00:55:15,179 --> 00:55:18,039
- Something happened between you?
- No.
784
00:55:18,979 --> 00:55:21,399
- Something happened...
- No.
785
00:55:22,139 --> 00:55:23,768
- You had sex with him!
- No!
786
00:55:23,819 --> 00:55:25,975
You told me this
the first time we met.
787
00:55:26,220 --> 00:55:27,364
No!
788
00:55:27,420 --> 00:55:29,715
I told you this?
I was wrong.
789
00:55:29,739 --> 00:55:33,259
You said your fist sexual experience
was with this rapist.
790
00:55:34,019 --> 00:55:37,276
- No. It was only from my side...
- What does that mean?
791
00:55:37,300 --> 00:55:40,732
That he got me excited.
792
00:55:41,620 --> 00:55:44,039
- Did he turn you on?
- Yes.
793
00:55:44,340 --> 00:55:49,004
And I came, if you want to know
the details...
794
00:55:53,660 --> 00:55:56,387
I came at hearing his shitty story...
795
00:56:08,300 --> 00:56:11,776
I caught the girl
and took her to the room.
796
00:56:12,979 --> 00:56:16,499
I took my dick out
and started to fuck her.
797
00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:22,063
My sperm was dripping
all over her.
798
00:56:23,700 --> 00:56:27,307
She was crying, begging me
to stop.
799
00:56:29,899 --> 00:56:34,080
I finished, tucked my dick
back inside my pants
800
00:56:34,859 --> 00:56:37,720
then I took my gun and shot her.
801
00:56:44,859 --> 00:56:47,147
You like the story?
802
00:56:47,380 --> 00:56:49,888
Want to see my big cock?
803
00:56:54,500 --> 00:56:56,436
Then he laughed.
804
00:56:57,540 --> 00:56:59,740
He ordered me to sleep in his tent.
805
00:57:04,099 --> 00:57:06,079
And since then...
806
00:57:06,540 --> 00:57:08,255
I just want that.
807
00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:12,976
To be that little Palestinian girl
who's covered in cum...
808
00:57:14,819 --> 00:57:18,163
And the dirtiest filthiest men on earth
809
00:57:18,220 --> 00:57:19,760
excite me.
810
00:57:21,260 --> 00:57:23,987
I'd continuously repeat that scene
811
00:57:24,540 --> 00:57:27,115
of rape I have went through...
812
00:57:27,139 --> 00:57:28,680
in Jiyeh.
813
00:57:30,136 --> 00:57:33,215
I'd be aroused by the
act of being humiliated.
814
00:57:34,423 --> 00:57:39,154
That's the superiority
within my inferiority complex.
815
00:57:39,179 --> 00:57:43,008
Like Jesus, I'd carry all the sins
of the world.
816
00:58:17,380 --> 00:58:21,163
War is beautiful,
It's not ugly my friend.
817
00:58:29,979 --> 00:58:32,840
The first time I saw my mother broken
818
00:58:33,300 --> 00:58:34,620
was at the barracks.
819
00:58:34,700 --> 00:58:37,383
The guard stopped her:
''Wait here!''
820
00:58:37,420 --> 00:58:39,135
''Where do you think you're going?''
821
00:58:39,460 --> 00:58:42,451
Finally! Somebody was able
to humiliate her!
822
00:58:42,580 --> 00:58:45,307
She replied in a low voice:
''I'm coming to see my son...''
823
00:58:45,420 --> 00:58:48,191
I was so happy seeing her mortified!
824
00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:50,223
She looked at me
825
00:58:50,580 --> 00:58:52,251
and realized she was weak.
826
00:58:53,779 --> 00:58:56,816
She said: ''I don't know why
you hate us so much''.
827
00:58:57,859 --> 00:59:01,027
''Are you proud of yourself?
Go see your father.''
828
00:59:02,300 --> 00:59:05,027
''He had a heart attack...''
829
00:59:05,899 --> 00:59:08,363
''You disappeared for 3 months!''
830
00:59:09,380 --> 00:59:11,007
''You are not my son!''
831
00:59:11,420 --> 00:59:13,796
''Stop saying this!'' I said.
832
00:59:14,819 --> 00:59:17,768
''I am your son, as much as Elie!''
833
00:59:18,340 --> 00:59:20,672
Suddenly Elie appeared...
834
00:59:22,420 --> 00:59:25,632
He threw me down,
and punched me like crazy.
835
00:59:26,300 --> 00:59:29,115
It was the biggest beating of my life...
836
00:59:31,700 --> 00:59:34,912
Did your mother force you
to go to Spain?
837
00:59:35,540 --> 00:59:38,047
She did not force me...
838
00:59:38,260 --> 00:59:41,560
I came back from the war
feeling totally insane.
839
00:59:41,660 --> 00:59:45,516
I ran away and hid for many days.
I just vanished.
840
00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:47,432
Who were you hiding from?
841
00:59:47,620 --> 00:59:49,644
They were constantly watching our house!
842
00:59:49,779 --> 00:59:51,935
- The militiamen?
- Yes.
843
00:59:52,059 --> 00:59:54,171
Mom lied and told them
I had left for Spain.
844
00:59:54,540 --> 00:59:58,191
''He can't leave!'' they said.
''He is enrolled in our militia.''
845
00:59:59,819 --> 01:00:03,163
If they had found me,
they would have severely punished me.
846
01:00:06,099 --> 01:00:07,903
So how did you leave?
847
01:00:08,300 --> 01:00:09,840
One day, at dawn.
848
01:00:10,660 --> 01:00:13,356
My mother came in
and woke me up.
849
01:00:13,380 --> 01:00:14,963
''Put on your clothes!''
850
01:00:15,420 --> 01:00:17,928
She gave me a passport
and 2000 US Dollars
851
01:00:18,220 --> 01:00:20,067
and she quickly said goodbye.
852
01:00:20,340 --> 01:00:22,496
This is when I left for Spain.
853
01:00:24,939 --> 01:00:28,636
I adore the sky
It's forgiving, like you
854
01:00:28,899 --> 01:00:31,319
filled with stars and happiness.
855
01:00:31,819 --> 01:00:34,636
Cherishfull and strange.
856
01:00:35,420 --> 01:00:39,159
It's distant like you
and sometimes close, like you.
857
01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:44,487
With its musical eyes,
that's the sky I adore.
858
01:00:58,620 --> 01:01:01,435
When did you arrive to Madrid?
859
01:01:01,779 --> 01:01:04,516
Right after Franco's dictatorship ended.
860
01:01:04,540 --> 01:01:07,664
They call it the Movida years,
in the mid 80s.
861
01:01:09,979 --> 01:01:12,884
The people were crazy!
Like in films
862
01:01:12,979 --> 01:01:14,784
I lived an Almodovar film!
863
01:01:15,059 --> 01:01:17,171
Everybody screwing everybody.
864
01:01:17,580 --> 01:01:21,143
Always high,
pushing ourselves beyond limits.
865
01:01:21,620 --> 01:01:23,820
Sex and nudity everywhere...
866
01:01:25,059 --> 01:01:27,612
I lived all this to the extreme.
867
01:01:29,700 --> 01:01:30,931
I lost it!
868
01:01:35,939 --> 01:01:39,548
So Miguel Alonso, do you remember
your first fuck in Madrid?
869
01:01:39,580 --> 01:01:40,416
Yes!
870
01:01:40,540 --> 01:01:42,596
Was it good?
871
01:01:42,620 --> 01:01:43,720
Yes!
872
01:01:45,300 --> 01:01:48,688
- I don't know what you mean...
- My nickname was ''the sucker''.
873
01:01:48,899 --> 01:01:51,496
So if I go and research
about ''Miguel Alonso''.
874
01:01:51,700 --> 01:01:54,031
People will tell: ''Oh! the sucker!''
875
01:01:54,380 --> 01:01:56,476
In fact, I was obsessed with prostitution
876
01:01:56,500 --> 01:01:57,907
I wanted to be a whore
877
01:01:58,099 --> 01:01:59,947
I used to go to Legazpi neighbourhood.
878
01:02:00,660 --> 01:02:02,728
It was a rest area for trucks
879
01:02:03,099 --> 01:02:05,079
the drivers would rest there.
880
01:02:05,220 --> 01:02:07,199
It was filled with prostitutes
881
01:02:07,220 --> 01:02:10,520
and I used to walk between them,
looking for some truck driver...
882
01:02:10,540 --> 01:02:13,664
The drivers would pretend to pee.
883
01:02:14,420 --> 01:02:17,808
I would approach them
and stare at their...
884
01:02:18,260 --> 01:02:20,063
This is a full fantasy!
885
01:02:20,660 --> 01:02:23,387
Did you ask some money?
Or did you forget?
886
01:02:23,500 --> 01:02:26,447
I forgot! I was ashamed to ask
for money...
887
01:02:27,779 --> 01:02:30,111
You are a loser prostitute!
888
01:02:30,420 --> 01:02:33,276
- The female prostitutes didn't object?
- Of course!
889
01:02:33,300 --> 01:02:35,147
They used to beat me and insult me.
890
01:02:35,260 --> 01:02:37,680
Go away faggot!
891
01:02:41,340 --> 01:02:42,660
Go away faggot!
892
01:03:03,580 --> 01:03:06,175
Maybe you should try it again...
the prostitution.
893
01:03:07,139 --> 01:03:09,339
Now, with this big belly?
894
01:03:09,859 --> 01:03:11,223
No worries.
895
01:03:17,340 --> 01:03:19,978
Once, in early internet days
896
01:03:19,979 --> 01:03:22,236
I had a stomach ache
897
01:03:22,260 --> 01:03:25,316
I was at home, feeling awful
and chatting at 3:00 am
898
01:03:25,340 --> 01:03:28,023
I was asking myself:
What am I doing?
899
01:03:28,340 --> 01:03:31,344
A guy started turning me on.
900
01:03:31,369 --> 01:03:34,537
He told me to meet him
at his house.
901
01:03:34,979 --> 01:03:37,399
The door to his flat was open
902
01:03:37,540 --> 01:03:40,959
I walked in, there was a hallway
leading to a living room
903
01:03:40,984 --> 01:03:43,146
where a porn film was playing.
904
01:03:43,471 --> 01:03:47,045
And there he was, naked and hot
905
01:03:47,070 --> 01:03:50,303
he was jerking off loudly.
906
01:03:50,516 --> 01:03:51,835
He was on the couch.
907
01:03:52,153 --> 01:03:53,341
I thought: How lovely!
908
01:03:53,366 --> 01:03:56,014
I still had my jacket on
909
01:03:56,039 --> 01:03:58,303
ready to jump on his cock.
910
01:03:58,328 --> 01:04:00,850
But he suddenly brought my head
to his dick
911
01:04:00,875 --> 01:04:04,068
I started vomiting on him!
I couldn't stop.
912
01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:06,656
Didn't you move away from him?
913
01:04:07,220 --> 01:04:08,891
I didn't know what to do.
914
01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:12,259
I thought since I'm vomiting here,
let's keep it in one place!
915
01:04:12,500 --> 01:04:13,907
You were vey rational!
916
01:04:13,939 --> 01:04:16,932
There was a carpet under,
I vomited on it as well...
917
01:04:16,939 --> 01:04:18,436
I ruined the carpet too!
918
01:04:18,460 --> 01:04:19,648
He didn't kill you?
919
01:04:19,739 --> 01:04:21,983
''Son of the bitch!''
he shouted.
920
01:04:23,580 --> 01:04:25,163
''Son of a bitch!''
921
01:04:26,681 --> 01:04:29,498
I ran like a madman
through the streets.
922
01:04:30,139 --> 01:04:33,131
Suddenly I felt great...
My stomach ache was totally gone!
923
01:04:34,739 --> 01:04:37,027
- What a relief!
- It was just perfect!
924
01:04:38,220 --> 01:04:41,564
What an inspiring story
to tell over Christmas dinner!
925
01:04:41,700 --> 01:04:45,263
- Very endearing.
- Yes, when all the family is gathering.
926
01:04:45,543 --> 01:04:48,029
You can say it after the midnight mass.
927
01:05:00,819 --> 01:05:02,139
Another time...
928
01:05:02,700 --> 01:05:04,151
I was in Sevilla
929
01:05:04,500 --> 01:05:08,020
in the Murillo Gardens
where I met a fantastic guy.
930
01:05:08,045 --> 01:05:09,409
Everything was perfect.
931
01:05:09,939 --> 01:05:12,051
We fucked there many times.
932
01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:15,119
We had great time.
933
01:05:22,859 --> 01:05:26,291
We stayed all the night
fucking in the open air
934
01:05:27,019 --> 01:05:29,087
and we agreed to meet the next day.
935
01:05:30,700 --> 01:05:32,107
The next day...
936
01:05:32,580 --> 01:05:34,780
We passed in front of a church.
937
01:05:34,819 --> 01:05:38,427
He stopped and told me:
''Wait, I'm going to greet the Virgin''.
938
01:05:38,660 --> 01:05:40,772
I thought he was joking.
939
01:05:40,797 --> 01:05:44,668
I told him: ''How nice!
Tell the Virgin to come with us''.
940
01:05:44,693 --> 01:05:48,630
''You will fuck her from the front
and me from behind''.
941
01:05:48,655 --> 01:05:50,474
He lost it.
942
01:05:50,779 --> 01:05:51,660
''Son of a bitch!''
943
01:05:51,739 --> 01:05:53,015
I ran across all of Seville.
944
01:05:53,139 --> 01:05:54,372
He was chasing me.
945
01:05:57,580 --> 01:05:59,163
You inspire me so much!
946
01:06:05,500 --> 01:06:07,788
- You like hardcore fun!
- Yes.
947
01:06:13,300 --> 01:06:16,676
He never had a love story,
with flowers and candles!
948
01:06:16,700 --> 01:06:17,755
No
949
01:06:17,779 --> 01:06:20,552
I think I am going to kill myself.
950
01:06:23,294 --> 01:06:24,702
Poor faggot!
951
01:06:27,500 --> 01:06:29,480
You tried to commit suicide?
952
01:06:35,139 --> 01:06:36,856
What time is it?
953
01:06:38,460 --> 01:06:40,351
- What time is it?
- There's still time.
954
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:41,768
Let's finish.
955
01:06:41,859 --> 01:06:44,676
You don't want to talk
about your suicide?
956
01:06:46,540 --> 01:06:48,167
Let's cut.
957
01:06:57,540 --> 01:07:00,636
It became an addiction...
I had to try more things
958
01:07:00,660 --> 01:07:02,728
I experimented with people
peeing on me
959
01:07:02,779 --> 01:07:04,935
beating me and tying me up.
960
01:07:05,340 --> 01:07:08,728
Once the police found me
20 km outside Madrid
961
01:07:09,300 --> 01:07:11,367
the driver had ripped me to shreds
962
01:07:11,500 --> 01:07:13,347
and he raped me.
963
01:07:29,059 --> 01:07:33,591
Let me die.
964
01:07:39,500 --> 01:07:43,988
Let me die.
965
01:07:47,019 --> 01:07:50,055
It's good, just fix the ''die''.
966
01:07:52,260 --> 01:07:53,712
Repeat ''die'' only.
967
01:07:54,580 --> 01:07:57,660
To die.
968
01:08:02,660 --> 01:08:06,796
And who, do you think
969
01:08:08,179 --> 01:08:10,908
can comfort me?
970
01:08:11,540 --> 01:08:14,311
When I am in such bad state?
971
01:08:15,260 --> 01:08:17,548
So, shall I tell you about my trip?
972
01:08:17,899 --> 01:08:19,792
We rented a motorcycle in Hanoi.
973
01:08:20,500 --> 01:08:22,480
Tomato was driving.
974
01:08:23,179 --> 01:08:25,732
It was a disaster
although we had a map.
975
01:08:26,500 --> 01:08:29,492
You know how men are with maps...
976
01:08:29,939 --> 01:08:32,888
We argued a lot, Tomato wanted to use
his compass.
977
01:08:32,899 --> 01:08:35,848
He would say:
''My instinct tells me to go there''.
978
01:08:36,460 --> 01:08:40,287
We would go there
and find landslides and no roads!
979
01:08:42,979 --> 01:08:45,576
And you?
What did you do these two weeks?
980
01:08:46,420 --> 01:08:48,708
I went with Eliane
981
01:08:49,340 --> 01:08:51,804
to shoot again, and I felt...
982
01:08:51,899 --> 01:08:53,352
Knocked out?
983
01:08:53,779 --> 01:08:56,067
- It was hard, no?
- Yes.
984
01:08:56,819 --> 01:08:59,327
But on the personal level,
was it fruitful?
985
01:08:59,580 --> 01:09:01,251
I suppose yes...
986
01:09:01,620 --> 01:09:03,820
You don't seem convinced...
987
01:09:04,700 --> 01:09:08,175
I think it is ok.
I believe it's an ongoing process
988
01:09:08,179 --> 01:09:09,852
and I have to finish it.
989
01:09:10,580 --> 01:09:13,880
It's a work of self-examination...
990
01:09:15,739 --> 01:09:18,203
How was Miguel when you met him?
991
01:09:18,620 --> 01:09:21,876
That was 22 years ago!
I can't really remember.
992
01:09:22,859 --> 01:09:25,764
He told me very dark things
about his life.
993
01:09:27,859 --> 01:09:30,147
Now he looks more rested.
994
01:09:31,019 --> 01:09:34,187
- We don't say ''rested'' in French?
- Yes, why not.
995
01:09:34,899 --> 01:09:39,916
Before, he wanted to do things
all the time, he was restless.
996
01:09:40,739 --> 01:09:43,688
He can look superficial sometimes...
997
01:09:44,019 --> 01:09:46,755
Oh yes, when Miguel is surrounded
by people
998
01:09:46,779 --> 01:09:48,496
he likes to be theatrical.
999
01:09:48,939 --> 01:09:50,919
He puts on a show?
1000
01:09:52,099 --> 01:09:53,947
He likes to shock people.
1001
01:09:54,260 --> 01:09:56,195
And because this amuses people
1002
01:09:56,460 --> 01:09:59,187
they push Miguel
to shock them even more.
1003
01:09:59,300 --> 01:10:01,323
It becomes like a game.
1004
01:10:01,859 --> 01:10:03,400
It's fun... Why not?
1005
01:10:13,260 --> 01:10:15,812
It's normally forbidden to film here.
1006
01:10:17,859 --> 01:10:20,456
But I really want to film this...
1007
01:10:22,779 --> 01:10:25,419
We're in the cathedral of Granada
1008
01:10:26,580 --> 01:10:29,660
and I'm looking for the column
1009
01:10:31,420 --> 01:10:34,411
where I did very nasty things...
1010
01:10:35,460 --> 01:10:38,143
It was the first year I worked
as a tourist guide.
1011
01:10:39,260 --> 01:10:41,283
It was a Sunday morning
1012
01:10:41,380 --> 01:10:43,183
I met a guy on the street...
1013
01:10:43,540 --> 01:10:45,564
We came into the cathedral.
1014
01:10:45,859 --> 01:10:47,840
There was a priest here.
1015
01:10:48,420 --> 01:10:49,652
We came here.
1016
01:10:50,099 --> 01:10:52,432
We hid behind this column.
1017
01:10:52,660 --> 01:10:54,420
We started jerking off
1018
01:10:54,460 --> 01:10:55,824
and fondling with each other.
1019
01:10:57,420 --> 01:11:00,808
Doing it in this huge cathedral
was so exciting!
1020
01:11:01,139 --> 01:11:03,119
With us hiding here
1021
01:11:03,420 --> 01:11:04,608
while people were praying.
1022
01:11:04,700 --> 01:11:06,019
All this was frightening...
1023
01:11:06,500 --> 01:11:08,963
- Did you enjoy it?
- To the maximum!
1024
01:11:09,739 --> 01:11:11,795
And now... There will be
a thunderbolt.
1025
01:11:11,819 --> 01:11:13,844
Film how it will strike me!
1026
01:11:43,179 --> 01:11:46,127
That day, I had achieved
my decadence.
1027
01:11:46,179 --> 01:11:48,512
How much lower could I get?
1028
01:11:49,859 --> 01:11:53,291
Let me show you
the maximum shit I could do!
1029
01:11:55,179 --> 01:11:58,524
Would you be aroused
by a similar thing today?
1030
01:12:00,460 --> 01:12:02,616
No, I won't get aroused...
1031
01:12:02,899 --> 01:12:05,363
ever since my mother died...
1032
01:12:15,979 --> 01:12:17,388
Miguel Alonso...
1033
01:12:17,899 --> 01:12:19,219
is superficial
1034
01:12:19,899 --> 01:12:21,748
because I am not comfortable.
1035
01:12:23,059 --> 01:12:25,700
I don't feel at ease anywhere.
1036
01:12:28,540 --> 01:12:31,355
Being shallow makes people happy.
1037
01:12:31,779 --> 01:12:34,111
Happy with themselves and with life...
1038
01:12:34,540 --> 01:12:36,740
- In denial?
- Yes!
1039
01:12:37,580 --> 01:12:39,912
All of Spain is in a state of denial!
1040
01:12:40,460 --> 01:12:43,672
- The Spanish are in denial about their...
- About everything!
1041
01:12:43,859 --> 01:12:46,516
They can't define their identity
or what they want.
1042
01:12:46,540 --> 01:12:49,047
Everyone is running from something...
1043
01:12:50,540 --> 01:12:53,928
- So Miguel Alonso is like them, running away?
- Yes.
1044
01:12:55,139 --> 01:12:57,780
This is why I immersed myself
in this film.
1045
01:12:58,387 --> 01:13:01,906
Should I decide to cut
my ties to Lebanon
1046
01:13:02,540 --> 01:13:05,003
let it be a conscious decision.
1047
01:13:08,739 --> 01:13:12,171
I don't want to run away
from Lebanon anymore...
1048
01:13:23,099 --> 01:13:25,828
So where are we going today?
1049
01:13:26,220 --> 01:13:28,508
Jiyeh round two.
1050
01:13:31,019 --> 01:13:32,955
But I really don't remember much...
1051
01:13:35,540 --> 01:13:38,532
There are some clear scenes
in my head.
1052
01:13:39,139 --> 01:13:42,175
Like when I slept on Tony's thigh...
1053
01:13:42,179 --> 01:13:43,808
This is a clear image.
1054
01:13:48,500 --> 01:13:51,359
Did you participate in the civil war?
1055
01:13:51,580 --> 01:13:53,031
Yes.
1056
01:13:54,420 --> 01:13:56,400
In all its details.
1057
01:13:56,779 --> 01:13:59,155
You! Park your car to the right.
1058
01:13:59,979 --> 01:14:01,778
Get out of your car!
1059
01:14:01,779 --> 01:14:03,452
Show me your ID.
1060
01:14:04,460 --> 01:14:07,275
Where are you coming from?
Where are you going?
1061
01:14:07,859 --> 01:14:10,015
Open the trunk of your car!
Show me what's inside!
1062
01:14:11,139 --> 01:14:14,219
I hold all the power,
nobody can argue with me!
1063
01:14:14,580 --> 01:14:16,955
I once stopped a cop,
I wanted his gun.
1064
01:14:17,260 --> 01:14:20,692
He pleaded: ''I am a cop on duty''
I said: ''I don't care''.
1065
01:14:21,019 --> 01:14:24,495
I pointed my kalashnikov at him
and took his gun.
1066
01:14:26,939 --> 01:14:29,659
Do you laugh or feel sad
when you recall all this?
1067
01:14:29,660 --> 01:14:31,243
I laugh.
1068
01:14:32,099 --> 01:14:33,991
It was a lie...
1069
01:14:35,660 --> 01:14:38,167
One big charade!
Seriously...
1070
01:14:41,099 --> 01:14:44,003
Could Tony have turned into that?
1071
01:14:44,660 --> 01:14:46,111
I don't know.
1072
01:14:47,859 --> 01:14:50,808
I hope Tony became
something else...
1073
01:14:53,819 --> 01:14:55,668
What's the story of Tony?
1074
01:14:59,380 --> 01:15:02,768
He was the most manly man
in the naval barracks.
1075
01:15:05,540 --> 01:15:08,155
He was taller and older than me
1076
01:15:08,179 --> 01:15:09,939
I remember his body.
1077
01:15:16,300 --> 01:15:18,015
He had moustaches?
1078
01:15:18,540 --> 01:15:20,211
You killed me with this question!
1079
01:15:20,420 --> 01:15:22,047
I can't remember...
1080
01:15:23,540 --> 01:15:25,211
But I remember his eyes.
1081
01:15:25,660 --> 01:15:27,684
- Did anything happen between you?
- No.
1082
01:15:28,420 --> 01:15:29,959
I loved his story
1083
01:15:30,300 --> 01:15:32,500
and the film I lived with him
1084
01:15:32,620 --> 01:15:34,644
was very intense...
1085
01:15:36,540 --> 01:15:39,311
It was the end of the world...
1086
01:15:40,099 --> 01:15:42,387
We were all fleeing from Jiyeh.
1087
01:15:42,660 --> 01:15:44,904
We were escaping into the boat.
1088
01:15:45,099 --> 01:15:48,532
Many people were drowning,
it was the apocalypse.
1089
01:15:48,660 --> 01:15:51,696
Tony and I were sleeping
next to the boat's funnel.
1090
01:15:51,939 --> 01:15:54,271
I was freezing.
1091
01:15:55,739 --> 01:15:58,864
He took me in his arms
''You'll feel warm soon''
1092
01:15:59,300 --> 01:16:02,115
then I fell asleep on his thigh.
1093
01:16:05,779 --> 01:16:09,035
And who, do you think
can comfort me?
1094
01:16:09,819 --> 01:16:13,031
When I am in such a hard state?
1095
01:16:14,420 --> 01:16:18,291
And in such a great suffering?
1096
01:16:24,540 --> 01:16:27,355
Let me die.
1097
01:16:29,235 --> 01:16:33,833
I've relived this scene
7000 times in my head.
1098
01:16:47,125 --> 01:16:49,764
The purest love of my life...
1099
01:16:56,093 --> 01:16:59,569
I never felt such love
again in my life.
1100
01:17:03,339 --> 01:17:07,168
I felt protected,
I felt he was embracing me.
1101
01:17:07,859 --> 01:17:11,775
I still search for this person
who will embrace me.
1102
01:17:12,153 --> 01:17:14,749
I don't have a problem.
1103
01:17:17,014 --> 01:17:18,950
I do kickboxing
1104
01:17:19,381 --> 01:17:23,266
and I do some street fight as well.
1105
01:17:27,300 --> 01:17:29,279
Love, just love.
1106
01:17:29,506 --> 01:17:32,542
I'd kiss his foot
like Magdalene with Jesus.
1107
01:17:34,071 --> 01:17:36,754
My ultimate dream in life
1108
01:17:36,779 --> 01:17:39,419
would be to meet Tony again...
1109
01:17:39,740 --> 01:17:41,632
By the way, I found him!
1110
01:17:42,380 --> 01:17:44,359
No... Probably it's not him
1111
01:17:44,499 --> 01:17:46,480
- I found him!
- No, it's not him!
1112
01:17:47,579 --> 01:17:50,716
You know nothing about him!
Only his first name!
1113
01:17:50,740 --> 01:17:53,116
- I know his family name...
- No way.
1114
01:17:53,779 --> 01:17:55,319
- It's not him!
- It's him!
1115
01:17:56,499 --> 01:18:00,371
Why would I see him?
He's probably married with kids.
1116
01:18:00,820 --> 01:18:03,395
And why would he come anyway?
1117
01:18:03,419 --> 01:18:06,455
What a strange request to ask him
to meet in Jiyeh!
1118
01:18:16,540 --> 01:18:17,683
Are you Michel?
1119
01:18:17,740 --> 01:18:19,104
- Yes.
- Yes?
1120
01:18:19,460 --> 01:18:20,999
- You're fine?
- Yes.
1121
01:18:21,300 --> 01:18:23,015
Are you familiar with this place?
1122
01:18:23,220 --> 01:18:25,024
- Have you been here before?
- I think so.
1123
01:18:25,820 --> 01:18:27,843
How did you come here?
1124
01:18:28,620 --> 01:18:30,028
In a boat.
1125
01:18:30,380 --> 01:18:32,095
With a guy named Tony.
1126
01:18:32,939 --> 01:18:34,876
Where did you come from?
1127
01:18:35,019 --> 01:18:37,352
From the naval barracks in Kaslik.
1128
01:18:39,099 --> 01:18:40,876
- You were affiliated there?
- Yes.
1129
01:18:40,900 --> 01:18:42,880
So you often made the trip here...
1130
01:18:43,419 --> 01:18:45,576
But I don't remember all these structures.
1131
01:18:45,820 --> 01:18:47,712
This big boat was not here.
1132
01:18:48,140 --> 01:18:50,471
- There was a boat sinking there.
- True.
1133
01:18:50,939 --> 01:18:52,876
We didn't access the port from this side
1134
01:18:52,980 --> 01:18:55,839
I especially recall
the Syrian tanks!
1135
01:18:55,939 --> 01:18:59,108
- Syrian tanks, here?!
- Or others... their tanks were over there!
1136
01:18:59,220 --> 01:19:02,256
They fired at the boats
in the water.
1137
01:19:02,659 --> 01:19:05,431
Which year?
An exact date?
1138
01:19:05,900 --> 01:19:08,012
- 1983... During the summer.
- 1983?
1139
01:19:08,460 --> 01:19:10,396
Syrians? Here?
1140
01:19:12,339 --> 01:19:15,684
During the Mountain battles,
who was your chief?
1141
01:19:15,900 --> 01:19:19,947
If you were on the ground,
that means you were infantry.
1142
01:19:21,300 --> 01:19:23,148
No, we were...
1143
01:19:23,980 --> 01:19:27,555
the reserve group...
- Ah, you were in the reserve!
1144
01:19:27,579 --> 01:19:31,144
The tougher ones between us
were called ''Marines''.
1145
01:19:31,300 --> 01:19:32,400
Nice!
1146
01:19:32,579 --> 01:19:34,716
So where did you stay around here?
1147
01:19:34,740 --> 01:19:35,840
In Rmeileh?
1148
01:19:36,380 --> 01:19:38,007
There is a place I can't remember.
1149
01:19:38,339 --> 01:19:39,791
Wadi El Zineh?
1150
01:19:41,380 --> 01:19:44,064
I just remember the lamp there...
Nothing more.
1151
01:19:44,499 --> 01:19:46,171
Somewhere nearby...
1152
01:19:46,300 --> 01:19:49,248
Where did you beat that woman, Michel?
1153
01:19:49,460 --> 01:19:51,527
The lady you told me about...
1154
01:19:51,779 --> 01:19:53,759
I didn't beat anyone!
1155
01:19:54,339 --> 01:19:56,584
There was a place
filled with hostages.
1156
01:19:56,859 --> 01:19:59,196
A woman shouted at me.
1157
01:19:59,220 --> 01:20:01,111
''Stop looking at me you fool!''
1158
01:20:01,140 --> 01:20:03,428
She cursed me, I charged at her.
1159
01:20:03,900 --> 01:20:05,528
You wanted to play the tough guy...
1160
01:20:05,579 --> 01:20:07,555
I charged at her...
the guys stopped me.
1161
01:20:07,579 --> 01:20:09,736
But I didn't beat her!
1162
01:20:12,380 --> 01:20:15,768
- Did you ever ride a cruiser?
- Yes.
1163
01:20:16,419 --> 01:20:18,795
This was a very strong scene.
1164
01:20:19,419 --> 01:20:21,443
We took cruisers.
1165
01:20:21,659 --> 01:20:23,243
We circled around a boat.
1166
01:20:24,099 --> 01:20:25,992
We clambered on the boat.
1167
01:20:26,099 --> 01:20:28,018
Tony was pushing me up
1168
01:20:28,019 --> 01:20:29,647
I was afraid to fall.
1169
01:20:29,740 --> 01:20:31,720
- Tony what?
- I can't tell!
1170
01:20:31,820 --> 01:20:33,403
It's very vague...
1171
01:20:33,859 --> 01:20:35,487
What did he look like?
1172
01:20:35,859 --> 01:20:37,135
Very tall...
1173
01:20:37,939 --> 01:20:39,436
As tall as him?
1174
01:20:39,900 --> 01:20:42,012
Please can you show him your eyes?
1175
01:20:48,140 --> 01:20:49,635
Why are you laughing?
1176
01:20:50,300 --> 01:20:51,840
I don't know why.
1177
01:20:59,779 --> 01:21:01,319
Have you seen me before?
1178
01:21:01,700 --> 01:21:03,636
Do you remember my face?
1179
01:21:06,019 --> 01:21:07,207
Come on! Get up!
1180
01:21:08,220 --> 01:21:09,320
Up!
1181
01:21:09,380 --> 01:21:10,480
More!
1182
01:21:10,779 --> 01:21:11,879
I can't anymore!
1183
01:21:12,460 --> 01:21:13,560
8
1184
01:21:13,740 --> 01:21:14,840
9
1185
01:21:15,179 --> 01:21:16,279
10.
1186
01:21:16,499 --> 01:21:18,392
Hold it longer!
You're a hero!
1187
01:21:19,259 --> 01:21:22,119
- What was your role?
- At that time?
1188
01:21:22,140 --> 01:21:25,923
The commander of the patrol
that trained the reserve fighters.
1189
01:21:26,220 --> 01:21:29,080
So you'd know if he stayed in Jiyeh
for 3 months...
1190
01:21:29,140 --> 01:21:32,000
Not even an hour!
He has no clue about the events.
1191
01:21:32,140 --> 01:21:34,471
No Syrian tanks came here!
1192
01:21:34,499 --> 01:21:36,744
When we were defeated,
the Lebanese army took over.
1193
01:21:37,259 --> 01:21:40,911
He doesn't know the hierarchy,
not even the patrol he was with!
1194
01:21:40,980 --> 01:21:44,280
- But he talked about Tony...
- Tony whom? Probably his friend!
1195
01:21:44,305 --> 01:21:45,801
Not a chief!
1196
01:21:47,259 --> 01:21:49,680
The war has been over
for more than 30 years.
1197
01:21:50,579 --> 01:21:54,848
Many people claim that
they fought on the ground.
1198
01:21:55,380 --> 01:21:58,899
And those who did fight
rarely tell their stories.
1199
01:21:58,900 --> 01:22:02,243
- Like you...
- I feel guilty I'm talking today.
1200
01:22:02,659 --> 01:22:06,224
I don't know what script
he has in head!
1201
01:22:12,980 --> 01:22:15,135
This is not Tony!
1202
01:22:15,939 --> 01:22:19,460
This guy was in charge
of training the reserve.
1203
01:22:21,700 --> 01:22:26,187
But he thinks you didn't spend
more than one hour in Jiyeh.
1204
01:22:32,179 --> 01:22:35,260
One hour!
1205
01:22:35,939 --> 01:22:39,063
Maybe one hour...
1206
01:22:39,380 --> 01:22:42,064
But I am sure we came many times.
1207
01:22:45,700 --> 01:22:47,767
No way it was only one hour!
1208
01:22:47,980 --> 01:22:50,047
What is the matter?
1209
01:22:54,339 --> 01:22:57,068
I don't know what a psychologist would say.
1210
01:22:57,579 --> 01:23:02,420
Everything is blurry...
And I am mixing many things.
1211
01:23:02,820 --> 01:23:06,436
Sometimes I say things,
I am convinced they are true.
1212
01:23:06,460 --> 01:23:09,848
Then when you repeat them to me,
I doubt myself...
1213
01:23:09,939 --> 01:23:12,008
I become scared I might be lying
1214
01:23:12,033 --> 01:23:14,673
and things happened differently...
1215
01:23:17,579 --> 01:23:20,220
If you were to lie...
Why would you do it?
1216
01:23:21,460 --> 01:23:23,836
No I won't lie...
1217
01:23:28,164 --> 01:23:31,459
The guy who wrote a
novel about you in Spain...
1218
01:23:31,484 --> 01:23:34,696
From where did he get the story
that you killed people?
1219
01:23:35,080 --> 01:23:38,335
He invented it!
He just fantasized about me!
1220
01:23:38,368 --> 01:23:41,264
He asked me if I participated in the war,
I said yes.
1221
01:23:41,499 --> 01:23:44,095
He replied: “Oh, how strong you are!”
1222
01:23:44,259 --> 01:23:46,716
So you said you killed people
to seduce him?
1223
01:23:46,740 --> 01:23:49,556
No! I didn't tell him I killed people!
He made up stories!
1224
01:23:49,659 --> 01:23:52,956
He made me Rambo! Fighting in
the ''Guardians of the Cedars'' militia
1225
01:23:52,980 --> 01:23:55,708
slaughtering people with a knife!
1226
01:23:56,820 --> 01:23:59,591
Were you with the
''Guardians of the Cedars'' - No!
1227
01:23:59,620 --> 01:24:02,568
I was only 12 when they were active
1228
01:24:02,620 --> 01:24:05,436
- 11 or 12...
- On whose side did you fought?
1229
01:24:05,460 --> 01:24:07,396
The Lebanese forces.
1230
01:24:08,900 --> 01:24:12,595
- Maybe you mixed up stories you told him...
- No, I didn't!
1231
01:24:12,659 --> 01:24:14,331
How many times should I say it?
1232
01:24:14,380 --> 01:24:16,580
You mixed up some stories with me
as well.
1233
01:24:16,740 --> 01:24:19,436
Yes, but I wouldn't invent
such stories for him!
1234
01:24:19,460 --> 01:24:22,995
How could I say I went to the 1975 battles?
I was 11 years old!
1235
01:24:23,019 --> 01:24:25,219
Am I that crazy to say this?
1236
01:24:26,620 --> 01:24:30,183
And stop looking for silly things!
1237
01:24:34,540 --> 01:24:37,619
And if you go on like this,
I'll pack up and leave!
1238
01:24:38,579 --> 01:24:41,484
I'll take the first plane!
What's this stupidity...
1239
01:24:46,259 --> 01:24:48,988
- Let's try to recall things accurately.
- Yes.
1240
01:25:23,540 --> 01:25:24,948
I looked for it.
1241
01:25:26,140 --> 01:25:28,823
- We saw it, go look again.
- I didn't find it!
1242
01:25:29,019 --> 01:25:31,528
I'm telling you it's here!
Go look.
1243
01:25:32,540 --> 01:25:34,519
I didn't find it!
1244
01:25:37,540 --> 01:25:39,740
Go look!
1245
01:26:15,779 --> 01:26:19,195
- What?
- Enough please!
1246
01:26:19,220 --> 01:26:23,575
- You don't want to be here?
- I don't see the point.
1247
01:26:26,019 --> 01:26:30,728
Do you think that you contributed
to your father's death?
1248
01:26:31,970 --> 01:26:34,665
When you went to the war...
1249
01:26:36,224 --> 01:26:38,072
you caused him heart attacks?
1250
01:26:39,060 --> 01:26:41,567
Jleilaty family Joseph Jleilaty.
1251
01:26:42,620 --> 01:26:45,083
It's not entirely my fault...
1252
01:26:49,380 --> 01:26:52,723
But my acts affected him.
1253
01:27:09,179 --> 01:27:11,115
When did your father pass away?
1254
01:27:13,179 --> 01:27:14,631
In 1990.
1255
01:27:17,579 --> 01:27:19,251
When did the war end?
1256
01:27:20,820 --> 01:27:22,315
In 1990.
1257
01:27:22,859 --> 01:27:25,851
When the Syrian troops attacked East Beirut
1258
01:27:25,939 --> 01:27:28,184
and they took over everything...
1259
01:27:29,579 --> 01:27:32,615
Not all the Lebanese
agree on this narrative...
1260
01:27:33,300 --> 01:27:37,743
They still haven't agreed on
an official account of the Civil War.
1261
01:27:39,419 --> 01:27:42,676
And the ones on the ground fighting
went silent
1262
01:27:42,740 --> 01:27:44,675
or left or disappeared
1263
01:27:46,820 --> 01:27:47,920
like you.
1264
01:27:54,859 --> 01:27:57,016
When were you born?
1265
01:28:00,579 --> 01:28:03,572
October 31, 1994.
1266
01:28:06,300 --> 01:28:08,807
That's the day I arrived
in Barcelona.
1267
01:28:10,140 --> 01:28:13,659
I adore the road
that's where we've met
1268
01:28:14,220 --> 01:28:17,080
where we had
our happiness and sadness
1269
01:28:17,099 --> 01:28:22,468
our friends, our youth
and the laughter of our tears.
1270
01:28:22,579 --> 01:28:24,736
I was dead then I was reborn
1271
01:28:24,779 --> 01:28:27,331
the day I got to Barcelona.
1272
01:28:28,859 --> 01:28:31,635
- It really looks like Beirut!
- True.
1273
01:28:31,659 --> 01:28:34,167
But it's the opposite of Beirut...
1274
01:28:35,140 --> 01:28:38,915
This city allowed me to rise
from the absolute bottom
1275
01:28:38,939 --> 01:28:42,327
I went up bit by bit
and I'm still climbing up.
1276
01:28:55,779 --> 01:28:57,847
Happy birthday to you.
1277
01:28:58,579 --> 01:28:59,944
Congratulations.
1278
01:29:00,024 --> 01:29:02,376
- Will you take care of my boa until later?
- Yes.
1279
01:29:02,444 --> 01:29:04,579
No give it back to her, faggot!
1280
01:29:04,939 --> 01:29:06,084
You are such a bitch!
1281
01:29:06,579 --> 01:29:08,867
Let's give a big round of applause
for Miguel!
1282
01:29:13,099 --> 01:29:16,004
My darling dear.
1283
01:29:16,620 --> 01:29:19,611
At least believe me.
1284
01:29:20,099 --> 01:29:23,004
Without you.
1285
01:29:23,659 --> 01:29:26,652
My heart languishes.
1286
01:29:28,579 --> 01:29:31,572
My darling dear.
1287
01:29:32,700 --> 01:29:35,691
Without you.
1288
01:29:37,300 --> 01:29:40,203
My heart languishes.
1289
01:29:46,499 --> 01:29:48,304
- Do you like Abdul Wahab?
- No.
1290
01:29:49,620 --> 01:29:51,908
That's a good one...
But I don't know the lyrics.
1291
01:29:53,220 --> 01:29:55,375
Yarning could kill.
1292
01:29:59,540 --> 01:30:02,179
We burned ourselves...
1293
01:30:02,620 --> 01:30:06,316
You should learn Arabic songs,
enough with opera!
1294
01:30:07,019 --> 01:30:09,616
Study Arabic music instead!
1295
01:30:09,980 --> 01:30:12,180
The thought of a Porn actor.
1296
01:30:13,380 --> 01:30:14,480
What is he saying?
1297
01:30:14,499 --> 01:30:18,592
''Life is about scoring goals,
the more balls you have, the better.''
1298
01:30:20,339 --> 01:30:21,703
What a decadence!
1299
01:30:23,659 --> 01:30:25,024
Good evening.
1300
01:30:26,460 --> 01:30:28,263
Thank you for this introduction.
1301
01:30:29,300 --> 01:30:31,060
The Arab women's movement
1302
01:30:31,380 --> 01:30:33,140
began in the 20th century
1303
01:30:33,980 --> 01:30:35,784
with intellectual activities
1304
01:30:36,380 --> 01:30:38,272
and particularly their literary production.
1305
01:30:39,820 --> 01:30:42,503
We know that the Arab nation
is a nation of poetry.
1306
01:30:43,740 --> 01:30:46,423
I always wondered when I was studying.
1307
01:30:48,140 --> 01:30:51,681
Why Arab poets were only men?
1308
01:30:55,820 --> 01:30:57,395
What's happening?
I can't hear anything.
1309
01:30:57,419 --> 01:30:58,519
Take over for me.
1310
01:30:58,659 --> 01:31:01,235
- What was the last sentence?
- Open the file.
1311
01:31:01,259 --> 01:31:02,447
What's the file called?
1312
01:31:06,579 --> 01:31:08,251
Thank you very much
1313
01:31:08,259 --> 01:31:10,944
because I believe that you are
the essence of research
1314
01:31:10,969 --> 01:31:13,835
and to me you are the experts.
1315
01:31:15,300 --> 01:31:18,512
Today we are talking
about the results
1316
01:31:18,537 --> 01:31:21,360
of the research project ''Divercity''.
1317
01:31:21,653 --> 01:31:24,028
But before starting actually.
1318
01:31:24,499 --> 01:31:28,152
I want to talk about the present situation
we're living in Catalunya.
1319
01:31:28,460 --> 01:31:32,068
Because I believe that not doing it
would be to normalize
1320
01:31:32,339 --> 01:31:34,936
a reality that is very exceptional.
1321
01:31:36,460 --> 01:31:39,056
We're just living
difficult times
1322
01:31:39,499 --> 01:31:42,975
and we have democracy
that is under threat
1323
01:31:43,419 --> 01:31:46,835
and we have a threat also and a violation
of the fundemental principles
1324
01:31:46,859 --> 01:31:48,532
of human rights.
1325
01:31:48,700 --> 01:31:52,087
International right, intimidation
and freedom of expression.
1326
01:31:56,300 --> 01:31:58,940
Today we have a debate
that is very complex
1327
01:31:59,740 --> 01:32:01,983
because it has to do
with our democracy.
1328
01:32:09,740 --> 01:32:12,247
Everyone is reading like crazy!
1329
01:32:12,579 --> 01:32:15,044
Did you receive any of the texts before?
1330
01:32:15,419 --> 01:32:17,883
No, the first text only
1331
01:32:18,019 --> 01:32:19,207
and yours as well.
1332
01:32:20,540 --> 01:32:22,388
So what's your image of yourself?
1333
01:32:22,779 --> 01:32:24,155
Nowadays?
1334
01:32:24,179 --> 01:32:25,896
I am very happy with myself.
1335
01:32:28,579 --> 01:32:31,879
In Europe, people consider me as Superman.
1336
01:32:32,620 --> 01:32:35,392
I speak many languages
and I translate for presidents.
1337
01:32:35,659 --> 01:32:37,464
I have a great image.
1338
01:32:38,380 --> 01:32:40,976
- Do you know that I teach here?
- Really?
1339
01:32:40,980 --> 01:32:43,180
- At the faculty of Blanquerna.
- What do you teach?
1340
01:32:46,620 --> 01:32:47,819
A masters in protocole.
1341
01:32:47,820 --> 01:32:49,008
Really?
1342
01:32:49,300 --> 01:32:51,412
- Protocole of what?
- The Arab world.
1343
01:32:51,460 --> 01:32:52,472
- Truly?
- Yes.
1344
01:32:52,499 --> 01:32:53,599
How cool!
1345
01:32:56,339 --> 01:32:58,936
In the 19th century,
a new era started.
1346
01:33:00,820 --> 01:33:04,032
An exchange with Europe began
to take place.
1347
01:33:05,099 --> 01:33:08,663
The elites of the Arab world
traveled to Europe.
1348
01:33:09,859 --> 01:33:12,984
In Iraq, in 1928.
1349
01:33:15,499 --> 01:33:19,152
Thousands of women became
poets and writers.
1350
01:33:20,259 --> 01:33:24,596
Now if you have any questions,
I will gladly answer them.
1351
01:33:24,620 --> 01:33:26,644
Thank you.
1352
01:33:28,179 --> 01:33:29,719
Nice.
1353
01:33:37,140 --> 01:33:39,076
How does it continue?
1354
01:33:40,259 --> 01:33:42,019
I'm very happy with myself.
1355
01:33:44,220 --> 01:33:46,948
I am happy and in love
with who I am.
1356
01:33:48,060 --> 01:33:50,084
- This is not true!
- Why?
1357
01:33:52,460 --> 01:33:55,496
You always say that you get bored.
1358
01:33:55,900 --> 01:33:58,100
Life in Europe is very easy.
1359
01:33:58,259 --> 01:34:00,944
You can predict your life
for the next ten years.
1360
01:34:01,499 --> 01:34:02,952
It's boring...
1361
01:34:04,779 --> 01:34:08,519
I get bored
so I look for excitement.
1362
01:34:24,179 --> 01:34:27,172
Aren't you excited about
the independence of Catalunya?
1363
01:34:29,779 --> 01:34:31,540
Won't you participate in the protests?
1364
01:34:32,140 --> 01:34:33,811
I don't want to!
1365
01:34:34,820 --> 01:34:39,196
I don't relate to shitty nationalism
Catalunyan, Spanish or Lebanese!
1366
01:34:39,220 --> 01:34:40,760
I'm none of these!
1367
01:34:41,259 --> 01:34:42,799
Freedom! Freedom!
1368
01:34:47,220 --> 01:34:50,123
So what do you belong to most?
1369
01:34:53,700 --> 01:34:56,251
To loneliness...
1370
01:35:05,019 --> 01:35:07,352
- You always talk about Tomato...
- Yes.
1371
01:35:07,859 --> 01:35:10,016
- Is he the love of your life?
- Yes I guess so.
1372
01:35:10,579 --> 01:35:12,999
Before him I had a hard time
1373
01:35:13,099 --> 01:35:15,520
building stable relationships with men.
1374
01:35:15,859 --> 01:35:18,763
But with him it's going very well,
it's simple
1375
01:35:19,659 --> 01:35:21,376
except with Miguel.
1376
01:35:21,579 --> 01:35:22,987
Everything else is quite simple.
1377
01:35:26,499 --> 01:35:29,095
I am leaving for 15 days.
1378
01:35:29,259 --> 01:35:31,107
- Where to?
- With Tomato.
1379
01:35:31,700 --> 01:35:34,163
Before, you were not absent that long.
1380
01:35:34,188 --> 01:35:36,970
I've been dating Tomato for 4 years.
1381
01:35:37,080 --> 01:35:40,564
Before that I spent 18 years
at your disposal, no?
1382
01:35:41,179 --> 01:35:42,955
Yes, I am a bit selfish...
1383
01:35:42,980 --> 01:35:46,456
But because we get along so well,
you and I
1384
01:35:46,540 --> 01:35:48,652
it filled all the rest.
1385
01:35:48,900 --> 01:35:51,935
We didn't feel the need to find
other partners.
1386
01:35:52,179 --> 01:35:54,819
I find my sexual partners
in the bars
1387
01:35:55,099 --> 01:35:56,772
and on the dating sites.
1388
01:35:56,939 --> 01:36:00,284
With the Grinder app
you won't find anyone suitable.
1389
01:36:00,380 --> 01:36:01,656
Ah no, definitely not...
1390
01:36:01,900 --> 01:36:05,112
But I don't know where
to find suitable guys...
1391
01:36:05,137 --> 01:36:07,337
How many acceptable guys are there?
1392
01:36:07,623 --> 01:36:11,708
Many friends introduced me
to intellectual men.
1393
01:36:11,733 --> 01:36:14,529
They are fucking unbearable!
1394
01:36:14,860 --> 01:36:17,191
You need to do something new.
1395
01:36:17,216 --> 01:36:20,130
Change your negative attitude.
1396
01:36:20,155 --> 01:36:22,630
You need to open up!
1397
01:36:23,867 --> 01:36:26,474
I think it will be difficult...
1398
01:36:28,140 --> 01:36:29,240
Don't know...
1399
01:36:29,540 --> 01:36:31,343
We bought an apartment together.
1400
01:36:31,740 --> 01:36:33,587
We wanted to have a baby together.
1401
01:36:34,019 --> 01:36:35,823
We go on holiday together.
1402
01:36:35,848 --> 01:36:38,621
You know any male-female friends
1403
01:36:39,179 --> 01:36:41,291
who have done...
...all of this?
1404
01:36:41,460 --> 01:36:42,560
No.
1405
01:36:45,419 --> 01:36:48,148
So it's time to build
a deep and stable relation
1406
01:36:48,259 --> 01:36:50,504
with someone other than me...
1407
01:36:52,700 --> 01:36:54,327
What's the baby story?
1408
01:36:54,554 --> 01:36:56,498
He wanted to have a baby.
1409
01:36:56,523 --> 01:37:00,482
He couldn't find anybody
who'll have a baby with him.
1410
01:37:00,900 --> 01:37:03,540
And he thought it had to be me...
1411
01:37:03,565 --> 01:37:06,205
And one day, I was really weak.
1412
01:37:06,700 --> 01:37:08,418
And he convinced me, I said yes...
1413
01:37:08,419 --> 01:37:10,972
- We kind of tried...
- It didn't work!
1414
01:37:11,740 --> 01:37:14,380
We couldn't even do this!
1415
01:37:54,740 --> 01:37:58,216
Will you ever get over
your self-destructiveness...
1416
01:37:58,980 --> 01:38:01,004
and devastating relationships?
1417
01:38:01,700 --> 01:38:05,527
I still carry in me the complex
that I am a bad person
1418
01:38:05,939 --> 01:38:07,788
so I have to be punished.
1419
01:38:10,499 --> 01:38:13,580
It's as if I don't deserve
to be loved.
1420
01:38:15,540 --> 01:38:18,443
So we're destined to repeat
with ourselves and our lovers
1421
01:38:18,499 --> 01:38:20,832
patterns we had with our parents?
1422
01:38:21,499 --> 01:38:23,699
This requires a session
with Freud.
1423
01:38:34,740 --> 01:38:36,411
Did you cry over your mom?
1424
01:38:41,820 --> 01:38:42,920
No.
1425
01:38:43,820 --> 01:38:45,888
What did you feel when she died?
1426
01:38:48,099 --> 01:38:50,080
Like a great liberation
1427
01:38:55,220 --> 01:38:57,199
and a big sadness.
1428
01:39:02,460 --> 01:39:04,572
I can't really describe it.
1429
01:39:06,179 --> 01:39:08,952
- She passed away in Damascus?
- Yes.
1430
01:39:09,700 --> 01:39:12,603
It was the beginning of the war
in Syria.
1431
01:39:12,900 --> 01:39:14,307
- So it was 2011
- Yes.
1432
01:39:15,540 --> 01:39:16,771
What happened to her?
1433
01:39:16,859 --> 01:39:18,751
She fell down and broke her hip.
1434
01:39:18,859 --> 01:39:21,235
She was in Syria
and couldn't come back to Lebanon.
1435
01:39:21,579 --> 01:39:23,251
Her health deteriorated quickly.
1436
01:39:25,939 --> 01:39:28,843
For many years I went to visit her
in Syria.
1437
01:39:30,380 --> 01:39:33,899
I would go for the sake of my
emotional balance.
1438
01:39:35,300 --> 01:39:38,291
I traveled there as often
as my brother Elie
1439
01:39:38,339 --> 01:39:39,527
or even more!
1440
01:39:40,220 --> 01:39:42,903
During the last years of her life,
she was going senile.
1441
01:39:43,019 --> 01:39:45,000
She no longer recognized me.
1442
01:39:45,579 --> 01:39:48,044
Elie and I both became Elie.
1443
01:39:54,859 --> 01:39:59,036
How did your mother describe
her life in Damascus...
1444
01:39:59,060 --> 01:40:01,479
before she moved to Lebanon?
1445
01:40:03,540 --> 01:40:05,783
With a lot of nostalgia.
1446
01:40:06,939 --> 01:40:10,063
She grew up
in one of those majestic old houses.
1447
01:40:11,339 --> 01:40:14,551
It had two stories,
a fountain in the middle
1448
01:40:14,700 --> 01:40:16,196
and orange trees.
1449
01:40:17,380 --> 01:40:18,832
My grandfather was a noble man.
1450
01:40:20,380 --> 01:40:21,832
She always had servants.
1451
01:40:22,339 --> 01:40:24,936
She considered herself a princess.
1452
01:40:27,300 --> 01:40:31,567
There is no victor but God.
1453
01:40:36,060 --> 01:40:38,655
Mom lived in her own world,
an idyllic one.
1454
01:40:40,060 --> 01:40:41,996
She wasn't in hurry to marry.
1455
01:40:42,380 --> 01:40:45,064
Her parents were worried
and really wanted to marry her off.
1456
01:40:46,579 --> 01:40:48,603
My father was available.
1457
01:40:48,700 --> 01:40:51,208
He had freshly left the monastery.
1458
01:40:51,259 --> 01:40:53,739
A priest arranged the meeting
with my mom.
1459
01:40:53,740 --> 01:40:55,983
Three months later they got married.
1460
01:40:59,220 --> 01:41:00,892
She never adapted
1461
01:41:01,259 --> 01:41:04,516
to her middle class life,
after she moved to Lebanon.
1462
01:41:08,419 --> 01:41:12,600
If she were to witness Syria's war,
what would her reaction be?
1463
01:41:12,740 --> 01:41:14,587
She would have went crazy.
1464
01:41:14,659 --> 01:41:16,728
She'd be in the nuthouse for sure.
1465
01:41:17,540 --> 01:41:21,543
She'd be worried about her prestige,
she really adored Syria.
1466
01:41:26,939 --> 01:41:29,624
You like to come to Andalusia
1467
01:41:29,659 --> 01:41:32,036
because it reminds you of the Orient?
1468
01:41:33,540 --> 01:41:36,576
For 30 years I've been looking
in Spain
1469
01:41:36,620 --> 01:41:39,435
for something that would make me
feel home.
1470
01:41:39,659 --> 01:41:41,835
Even though there's an Arab feel to it...
1471
01:41:41,859 --> 01:41:43,928
...I haven't found it...
1472
01:41:44,259 --> 01:41:46,856
My nostalgia is not visual.
1473
01:41:48,900 --> 01:41:53,519
My nostalgia is...
the smells of jasmine in Damascus
1474
01:41:54,499 --> 01:41:55,864
certain foods.
1475
01:41:57,740 --> 01:42:01,480
There's a special memory with Takla
in Saidnaya.
1476
01:42:01,620 --> 01:42:04,716
Drinking tea in the morning.
1477
01:42:04,740 --> 01:42:06,940
Eating fried eggs...
1478
01:42:07,060 --> 01:42:09,260
The smell of Sumac spices.
1479
01:42:21,499 --> 01:42:25,283
Why do you always cry
when you talk about Takla?
1480
01:42:27,419 --> 01:42:30,367
None of us deserved her kindness.
1481
01:42:31,060 --> 01:42:33,391
She took care of us so well
1482
01:42:33,540 --> 01:42:35,871
and loved us if we were her own.
1483
01:42:37,820 --> 01:42:40,855
- Now she is living the war in Syria?
- Yes.
1484
01:42:42,659 --> 01:42:45,652
You put them together
in one picture.
1485
01:42:45,939 --> 01:42:49,151
Takla, the human being
and Syria the country.
1486
01:42:50,740 --> 01:42:52,544
They are both jewels...
1487
01:42:52,820 --> 01:42:55,724
that human beings
never truly valued
1488
01:42:56,220 --> 01:42:58,375
and they're gone...
1489
01:43:05,300 --> 01:43:07,412
When the turmoil started in Syria
1490
01:43:07,859 --> 01:43:12,875
and all the destruction
I wished for Syria is happening.
1491
01:43:13,779 --> 01:43:16,904
You can't imagine how everything...
1492
01:43:17,140 --> 01:43:19,956
...happening in Syria hurts me
as if...
1493
01:43:23,499 --> 01:43:26,887
...As if you burned it down?
1494
01:43:30,740 --> 01:43:35,051
It's mean of you...
to insinuate that I acted like ISIS.
1495
01:43:35,380 --> 01:43:38,899
Shall I spend the rest of my life
carrying my guilt around?
1496
01:43:39,019 --> 01:43:41,571
No, just say what you did!
1497
01:43:41,700 --> 01:43:44,032
Stop saying:
''I don't remember and I don't know''.
1498
01:43:44,579 --> 01:43:47,791
- I didn't do anything!
- ''I hit the lady and I didn't!''
1499
01:43:49,339 --> 01:43:52,287
Some things come and go
I don't remember them.
1500
01:43:52,779 --> 01:43:56,036
Did you or did you not
hit that woman?
1501
01:43:56,540 --> 01:43:59,395
No, I charged at her but I didn't hit her.
1502
01:43:59,419 --> 01:44:01,267
Are you sure?
1503
01:44:04,220 --> 01:44:07,915
What's the sentence you wrote in your text?
1504
01:44:08,179 --> 01:44:10,467
Please read it out loud.
1505
01:44:11,019 --> 01:44:14,012
- No! this is...
- Read the part ''I had hit...''
1506
01:44:15,939 --> 01:44:18,888
No, this has a figurative meaning...
1507
01:44:27,300 --> 01:44:28,884
What?
1508
01:44:43,460 --> 01:44:45,044
Yes...
1509
01:44:46,659 --> 01:44:48,991
Yes I did beat her...
1510
01:44:49,220 --> 01:44:52,123
She said: ''You are not my son''
so I beat her.
1511
01:44:52,140 --> 01:44:54,823
- Who? Your mother?
- Yes.
1512
01:44:54,900 --> 01:44:58,507
- You have beaten her?
- Right after the Mountain war.
1513
01:45:03,140 --> 01:45:05,647
''Desencuentro''.
1514
01:45:05,700 --> 01:45:08,032
That's my story with my mother.
1515
01:45:08,380 --> 01:45:09,964
What does it mean?
1516
01:45:10,499 --> 01:45:12,523
The opposite of encounter.
1517
01:45:24,659 --> 01:45:26,507
That's my mom!
1518
01:45:27,700 --> 01:45:29,987
- I don't know why I'm here.
- Me neither!
1519
01:45:30,339 --> 01:45:33,948
I asked Eliane what the casting is for,
she said ''You'll find out later''.
1520
01:45:35,460 --> 01:45:38,496
- Next to me is Michel Jelelaty.
- Nice meeting you.
1521
01:45:38,620 --> 01:45:40,468
- His father...
- Joseph Jelelaty.
1522
01:45:40,779 --> 01:45:43,859
Wasn't he friends with your dad?
Or I am wrong?
1523
01:45:44,140 --> 01:45:46,823
- They both went to study in Spain.
- True.
1524
01:45:47,300 --> 01:45:48,578
How is he doing?
1525
01:45:48,579 --> 01:45:50,648
- He passed away.
- God rest his soul.
1526
01:45:53,579 --> 01:45:55,999
- I also remember your mom...
- Really?
1527
01:45:56,620 --> 01:45:58,116
- My mother Hayat?
- Yes.
1528
01:45:58,419 --> 01:46:00,179
She was a beautiful lady!
1529
01:46:00,220 --> 01:46:01,584
Mom was very beautiful...
1530
01:46:01,620 --> 01:46:04,392
- She also passed away.
- What a pity...
1531
01:46:06,259 --> 01:46:08,459
Do you have siblings?
1532
01:46:08,779 --> 01:46:09,967
I have a sister.
1533
01:46:10,300 --> 01:46:11,400
- Older than you?
- Yes.
1534
01:46:11,900 --> 01:46:14,540
And my brother Elie,
he's a year younger than me.
1535
01:46:14,779 --> 01:46:16,979
He has two daughters,
he lives in France.
1536
01:46:19,339 --> 01:46:21,980
- And you? Did you get married?
- No!
1537
01:46:22,419 --> 01:46:24,091
- You're still single!
- Yes I am.
1538
01:46:24,740 --> 01:46:27,468
Why are you delaying getting married?
1539
01:46:29,140 --> 01:46:30,680
Just like Eliane there!
1540
01:46:31,900 --> 01:46:34,628
Hit her with the real story.
1541
01:46:35,140 --> 01:46:37,395
Well, because...
In fact, no...
1542
01:46:37,419 --> 01:46:39,003
That's it, enough.
1543
01:46:43,220 --> 01:46:45,815
Michel's mother wasn't tender
with him
1544
01:46:45,820 --> 01:46:48,415
so you have to compensate
and give him affection!
1545
01:46:48,579 --> 01:46:50,999
Shall I sit in his lap?
1546
01:46:51,700 --> 01:46:54,516
(Song for children)
This finger is called Bou Kassem.
1547
01:46:54,540 --> 01:46:56,740
This one is the ring finger.
1548
01:46:57,099 --> 01:46:59,235
They usually put the rings here.
1549
01:46:59,259 --> 01:47:01,811
The third one is tall but useless
1550
01:47:02,419 --> 01:47:05,060
and the elbow is for holding a basket.
1551
01:47:05,419 --> 01:47:08,367
- Shall I tickle you under your armpit?
- No.
1552
01:47:11,380 --> 01:47:14,504
He's laughing with all his heart!
I make him laugh.
1553
01:47:15,019 --> 01:47:17,747
But he seems cherished enough!
1554
01:47:18,019 --> 01:47:20,747
Spanish women are taking good care
of him!
1555
01:47:22,540 --> 01:47:24,960
Spanish women are cute
like the Lebanese ones!
1556
01:47:25,740 --> 01:47:28,468
My husband was engaged
to a Spanish woman.
1557
01:47:28,659 --> 01:47:30,419
He wanted to marry her Really?
1558
01:47:30,620 --> 01:47:32,028
Her name was Paquita!
1559
01:47:37,259 --> 01:47:39,944
Let me find a clear picture of Paquita.
1560
01:47:43,419 --> 01:47:45,048
Is this Paquita?
1561
01:47:45,300 --> 01:47:47,015
No this was another girlfriend.
1562
01:47:47,380 --> 01:47:48,744
Nelly Martins.
1563
01:47:49,419 --> 01:47:51,048
A very beautiful photo!
1564
01:47:51,220 --> 01:47:53,023
Here is Paquita.
1565
01:47:53,460 --> 01:47:55,791
Wait... No that's not her.
1566
01:47:56,460 --> 01:47:58,703
That's a German one, Liselothe.
1567
01:47:59,620 --> 01:48:01,687
He was a real womanizer!
1568
01:48:03,460 --> 01:48:05,703
He was surrounded by ladies.
1569
01:48:06,220 --> 01:48:09,168
Then, he left them all and chose me!
1570
01:48:10,659 --> 01:48:14,048
- So it's not only you...
- ...who had 14 Girlfriends at once?
1571
01:48:14,339 --> 01:48:17,023
14 at the same time!
Don't you get confused?
1572
01:48:17,300 --> 01:48:18,840
This is the Spanish Paquita.
1573
01:48:18,939 --> 01:48:20,391
That's life!
1574
01:48:21,179 --> 01:48:22,631
So this is Paquita?
1575
01:48:33,939 --> 01:48:36,491
When I was a child,
during the war.
1576
01:48:37,099 --> 01:48:39,960
Whenever you and I would get into
big fights.
1577
01:48:40,380 --> 01:48:43,019
I would ask Dad to comfort me
1578
01:48:43,099 --> 01:48:45,915
and he'd tell me stories
about Spain and Paquita.
1579
01:48:45,939 --> 01:48:47,127
Really?
1580
01:48:48,659 --> 01:48:51,036
We're confessing in front of everyone.
1581
01:48:51,620 --> 01:48:52,720
That's nice.
1582
01:48:55,300 --> 01:48:55,960
And?
1583
01:48:56,220 --> 01:48:58,684
So I decided, at the time,
that this Paquita
1584
01:48:58,859 --> 01:49:01,147
should have been my mother...
1585
01:49:01,499 --> 01:49:02,952
Good one!
1586
01:49:03,380 --> 01:49:05,976
Why didn't you tell me this before?
1587
01:49:07,579 --> 01:49:09,867
Everything has its time.
1588
01:49:16,019 --> 01:49:18,595
Is that the only purpose of this film?
1589
01:49:18,620 --> 01:49:21,074
And how is it connected to Miguel?
1590
01:49:21,099 --> 01:49:22,815
He's a nice guy.
1591
01:49:24,305 --> 01:49:28,095
Miguel and I met randomly in Spain.
1592
01:49:29,580 --> 01:49:33,834
He translated the debate after
the projection of my film in Barcelona.
1593
01:49:34,303 --> 01:49:37,560
I asked him to help me
search for Paquita.
1594
01:49:37,585 --> 01:49:40,735
Paquita? Nobody will understand anything!
1595
01:49:41,574 --> 01:49:43,334
Which audience will see this film?
1596
01:49:44,660 --> 01:49:46,463
Some movie club!
1597
01:49:47,770 --> 01:49:49,222
In Krakow?!
1598
01:49:49,459 --> 01:49:51,043
Yes, Krakow!
1599
01:49:52,700 --> 01:49:55,119
There, there's no risk...
1600
01:49:56,020 --> 01:49:57,515
At 7:00 am!
1601
01:50:00,459 --> 01:50:02,967
We didn't find Paquita!
1602
01:50:03,379 --> 01:50:06,020
Instead, he told me
the story of his life...
1603
01:50:07,420 --> 01:50:09,223
Really!
1604
01:50:12,620 --> 01:50:15,436
It's a pity...
1605
01:50:19,059 --> 01:50:22,888
By the way... I told Mom that
you are gay.
1606
01:50:26,620 --> 01:50:29,348
But he can be both.
1607
01:50:29,659 --> 01:50:32,475
He can get married to a woman
and be...
1608
01:50:33,100 --> 01:50:34,948
Isn't that possible?
1609
01:50:35,500 --> 01:50:38,008
He doesn't want to.
1610
01:50:46,340 --> 01:50:49,552
I think it's good you told her!
1611
01:50:49,860 --> 01:50:52,984
They need to understand
that we exist...
1612
01:50:59,579 --> 01:51:05,255
If you could meet your mom one last time,
what would you ask her?
1613
01:51:08,180 --> 01:51:12,271
Did I dream that she preferred Elie
to me?
1614
01:51:12,979 --> 01:51:16,316
If we could have an honest dialog.
1615
01:51:16,340 --> 01:51:19,112
''Go back to when we were kids''.
1616
01:51:19,700 --> 01:51:22,735
''Did you truly love us the same way?''
1617
01:51:24,139 --> 01:51:27,175
Let's assume she said she loved him more...
1618
01:51:27,540 --> 01:51:29,432
what would that change?
1619
01:51:29,860 --> 01:51:31,884
She would have confessed it!
1620
01:51:33,219 --> 01:51:35,419
For the sake of justice.
1621
01:51:37,059 --> 01:51:39,259
I don't want to die
1622
01:51:39,899 --> 01:51:42,099
without someone loving me...
1623
01:51:46,700 --> 01:51:48,900
I am filled with ugly things.
1624
01:51:49,579 --> 01:51:52,395
Very ugly and very humiliating.
1625
01:51:59,379 --> 01:52:01,579
I want to be like a flower.
1626
01:52:02,180 --> 01:52:06,007
Have somebody loving me,
we'd wear white dresses and get married.
1627
01:52:06,700 --> 01:52:10,924
And forget all this crap...
this bag full of shit that I am.
1628
01:52:15,659 --> 01:52:19,268
One cannot escape you,
cameras are from both sides!
1629
01:52:27,659 --> 01:52:30,035
Who are you exactly?
1630
01:52:37,780 --> 01:52:39,275
Is this Tony or no?
1631
01:52:39,700 --> 01:52:42,735
No. I can't remember him like this...
No.
1632
01:52:44,579 --> 01:52:47,440
Tony was different,
he was much taller.
1633
01:52:48,379 --> 01:52:50,315
I am Tony.
1634
01:52:51,139 --> 01:52:54,703
You had a mustache and
beautiful black hair - All gone.
1635
01:52:55,059 --> 01:52:56,952
Beautiful hair!
1636
01:52:57,700 --> 01:53:01,307
I trained you, when you arrived
and divided you in groups.
1637
01:53:01,899 --> 01:53:04,320
I was the military chief of this barracks.
1638
01:53:05,819 --> 01:53:08,240
Let's sit. Are you going
to keep on filming?
1639
01:53:08,459 --> 01:53:10,836
One moment, we're checking
if you are Tony...
1640
01:53:11,340 --> 01:53:12,571
Is this Tony?
1641
01:53:13,579 --> 01:53:14,724
Yes.
1642
01:53:18,068 --> 01:53:19,881
I must have changed a lot!
1643
01:53:19,979 --> 01:53:21,652
You were really much taller!
1644
01:53:22,059 --> 01:53:25,279
I grew shorter...
Maybe I used to wear high heels!
1645
01:53:27,131 --> 01:53:28,714
You remember me now?
1646
01:53:28,739 --> 01:53:31,420
Yes, I went with you to Jiyeh
and...
1647
01:53:34,264 --> 01:53:36,772
What now? Shall we sit down?
1648
01:53:36,859 --> 01:53:38,865
Go ahead, we'll join you.
1649
01:53:45,515 --> 01:53:47,670
It's amazing... his smile.
1650
01:53:50,425 --> 01:53:51,965
Yes, he was like this...
1651
01:53:52,100 --> 01:53:53,815
So it's him, the love of your life?
1652
01:53:58,459 --> 01:54:01,188
Will you tell him
that you loved him?
1653
01:54:02,100 --> 01:54:03,727
He doesn't even remember me!
1654
01:54:16,579 --> 01:54:20,596
Could you you have imagined
sleeping on his lap
1655
01:54:20,620 --> 01:54:23,555
when you were fleeing Jiyeh?
1656
01:54:23,579 --> 01:54:25,340
I don't think so...
1657
01:54:25,940 --> 01:54:28,316
- It seems he was a big shot
- Yes he was
1658
01:54:28,340 --> 01:54:31,316
I doubt he did let
someone sleep on his lap!
1659
01:54:31,340 --> 01:54:34,419
Did I sleep on someone else's lap?
1660
01:54:34,674 --> 01:54:36,391
And I pasted this on Tony?
1661
01:54:37,519 --> 01:54:38,619
Shit!
1662
01:54:38,644 --> 01:54:40,889
The myth has fallen apart!
1663
01:54:41,780 --> 01:54:43,759
Tony's myth fell apart?
1664
01:54:43,860 --> 01:54:44,960
Yes.
1665
01:54:45,979 --> 01:54:48,576
I fabricated characters
1666
01:54:49,700 --> 01:54:51,943
and I am sweeping them out
1667
01:54:52,420 --> 01:54:54,268
and that's good...
1668
01:54:57,739 --> 01:55:00,951
- You described him as a protector
- Yes.
1669
01:55:01,180 --> 01:55:04,480
What does the Tony character symbolize?
1670
01:55:07,739 --> 01:55:10,336
My father...
1671
01:55:18,940 --> 01:55:21,095
Did you ever like your father?
1672
01:55:21,659 --> 01:55:23,816
Or got close to him?
1673
01:55:24,500 --> 01:55:27,272
I got closer to him
after I came to Barcelona.
1674
01:55:27,459 --> 01:55:29,528
I had seen a psychologist.
1675
01:55:29,579 --> 01:55:33,452
She discovered that I had erased my father
from my memory.
1676
01:55:34,860 --> 01:55:37,588
I had almost forgotten his face.
1677
01:55:37,940 --> 01:55:40,931
She asked me:
''Do you have a photo of your father?''
1678
01:55:41,260 --> 01:55:43,063
''Talk to him''.
1679
01:55:43,340 --> 01:55:45,540
I found a passport photo of him
1680
01:55:45,620 --> 01:55:48,391
and I tried once
to talk to his picture.
1681
01:55:51,340 --> 01:55:53,319
I just couldn't!
1682
01:55:55,540 --> 01:55:58,047
''You stay a quiet as a mouse''.
1683
01:55:58,459 --> 01:56:00,528
''You ARE a rag! A wet rag!''
1684
01:56:02,899 --> 01:56:04,527
The only memory I have of Dad
1685
01:56:05,260 --> 01:56:06,932
is his weakness...
1686
01:56:09,739 --> 01:56:12,424
What did you want him to do?
1687
01:56:13,379 --> 01:56:15,756
To stop all the violence.
1688
01:56:19,940 --> 01:56:22,095
What's making you cry, Hassan?
1689
01:56:22,579 --> 01:56:23,900
Same story...
1690
01:56:25,139 --> 01:56:27,560
Everything he did
was considered wrong
1691
01:56:28,020 --> 01:56:29,735
he was just peaceful.
1692
01:56:30,260 --> 01:56:32,768
He loved laughter and life.
1693
01:56:33,979 --> 01:56:35,784
He didn't like confrontation.
1694
01:56:36,420 --> 01:56:38,532
But she liked to show off.
1695
01:56:38,899 --> 01:56:40,968
- Your mother?
- Yes.
1696
01:56:43,379 --> 01:56:45,756
- Did your father pass away?
- Yes.
1697
01:56:47,780 --> 01:56:50,551
He stood up to her
one day before his death.
1698
01:56:51,379 --> 01:56:53,712
He turned his face away from her.
1699
01:56:54,219 --> 01:56:57,036
It was the only time
he revolted against her.
1700
01:56:58,020 --> 01:57:01,320
As if he was saying:
''Let me die in peace''.
1701
01:57:27,979 --> 01:57:29,476
Are you Michel?
1702
01:57:30,180 --> 01:57:31,632
Michel Jelelaty, yes.
1703
01:57:32,700 --> 01:57:35,647
You're the son of the late Joseph Jelelaty!
1704
01:57:35,819 --> 01:57:37,755
You look so much like him!
1705
01:57:39,299 --> 01:57:40,752
The same face!
1706
01:57:41,500 --> 01:57:46,163
Even if they hadn't told me
I would have recognized you!
1707
01:57:47,579 --> 01:57:51,452
Do you want to know things
about your late father?
1708
01:57:51,940 --> 01:57:53,040
Sure.
1709
01:57:54,139 --> 01:57:55,856
Shall we talk about Joseph now?
1710
01:57:55,979 --> 01:57:58,136
Let's show him some pictures.
1711
01:57:58,139 --> 01:58:00,163
Yes, the pictures.
1712
01:58:05,739 --> 01:58:06,839
Here.
1713
01:58:08,819 --> 01:58:10,183
Let me look.
1714
01:58:10,780 --> 01:58:12,232
Yes that's him.
1715
01:58:19,500 --> 01:58:21,084
- You recognize him?
- Yes.
1716
01:58:25,940 --> 01:58:29,723
How old was your father
when he passed away?
1717
01:58:31,139 --> 01:58:33,251
60 years old.
1718
01:58:33,899 --> 01:58:37,772
Can you tell him Joseph's story
about turning 60?
1719
01:58:38,139 --> 01:58:41,263
- The story you narrated to me before?
- Yes.
1720
01:58:42,379 --> 01:58:47,132
It was after
our annual spiritual retreat.
1721
01:58:48,899 --> 01:58:52,947
We were young deacons,
dressed in our religious outfits.
1722
01:58:53,379 --> 01:58:56,724
I was next to him, after we finished.
1723
01:58:58,455 --> 01:59:02,996
He said ''I wholeheartedly ask of God''
1724
01:59:03,553 --> 01:59:06,668
at the end of this consecration
1725
01:59:07,041 --> 01:59:12,801
that when I turn 60...
1726
01:59:13,506 --> 01:59:15,794
''I leave this earth!''
1727
01:59:15,990 --> 01:59:18,102
And indeed that's what happened!
1728
01:59:18,984 --> 01:59:24,239
One day, I went to visit him by chance.
1729
01:59:24,379 --> 01:59:26,491
I saw his coffin.
1730
01:59:26,516 --> 01:59:28,628
I did the calculations.
1731
01:59:29,074 --> 01:59:32,598
It turned out he passed away at 60!
1732
01:59:33,299 --> 01:59:34,637
Exactly!
1733
01:59:52,459 --> 01:59:55,495
Is he making this story up?
1734
01:59:59,659 --> 02:00:01,287
I don't think so...
1735
02:00:03,379 --> 02:00:06,063
But it's a relieving story,
isn't it?
1736
02:00:10,420 --> 02:00:13,235
At least he decided his destiny...
1737
02:00:13,620 --> 02:00:15,248
So it's not you...
1738
02:00:15,379 --> 02:00:17,712
No, I didn't kill him!
1739
02:00:32,020 --> 02:00:34,923
My darling dear.
1740
02:00:37,459 --> 02:00:40,452
At least believe me.
1741
02:00:46,340 --> 02:00:49,331
Without you.
1742
02:00:56,620 --> 02:00:59,612
My heart languishes.
1743
02:01:05,739 --> 02:01:07,455
Is this a love song?
1744
02:01:08,340 --> 02:01:09,836
Yes.
1745
02:01:25,139 --> 02:01:27,560
Yes I love my dad...
1746
02:01:38,260 --> 02:01:41,472
I adore the sky,
it's forgiving like you.
1747
02:01:41,700 --> 02:01:44,207
It's full of happy stars.
1748
02:01:44,579 --> 02:01:47,747
It's cherishfull and strange.
1749
02:01:48,659 --> 02:01:51,828
It's distant like you
and sometimes close, like you.
1750
02:01:53,139 --> 02:01:57,144
With its musical eyes,
that's the sky I adore.
1751
02:02:14,459 --> 02:02:17,671
Where do you think
the film should end?
1752
02:02:21,379 --> 02:02:24,503
At first I thought it
should end in Barcelona.
1753
02:02:25,180 --> 02:02:27,599
But I am not sure anymore.
1754
02:02:29,540 --> 02:02:32,399
I thought it should end
in the power plant
1755
02:02:33,059 --> 02:02:35,656
the port entry
for the Mountain war.
1756
02:02:38,139 --> 02:02:41,263
I would like to end it
in the middle of the sea.
1757
02:02:41,459 --> 02:02:43,836
In the heart of the Mediterranean sea.
1758
02:02:44,340 --> 02:02:47,507
- You would be swimming?
- No just leaving
1759
02:02:48,059 --> 02:02:50,699
to somewhere new.
1760
02:02:56,700 --> 02:03:00,483
Before you leave, I have
a final shot for you.
1761
02:03:47,379 --> 02:03:49,975
You seemed so tense
when we took this shot!
1762
02:03:50,860 --> 02:03:52,884
It was completely mad!
1763
02:03:53,139 --> 02:03:55,648
I have desecrated so many churches...
1764
02:03:57,579 --> 02:04:00,704
But you told me later
that it was cathartic.
1765
02:04:00,860 --> 02:04:04,643
Yes. Let them wash my foot,
they owe me that.
1766
02:04:06,979 --> 02:04:09,091
Miguel you're still a believer...
1767
02:04:09,500 --> 02:04:10,600
Why?
1768
02:04:10,739 --> 02:04:12,588
This is my feeling.
1769
02:04:13,659 --> 02:04:16,608
Of course, I am the Magdalene!
1770
02:04:17,739 --> 02:04:20,467
I mean deep inside of you...
1771
02:04:22,379 --> 02:04:24,579
I don't know...
1772
02:05:30,379 --> 02:05:32,779
Hi Eliane
1773
02:05:32,780 --> 02:05:36,827
I don't have a phone number for Takla
in Saidnaya (Syria)
1774
02:05:37,156 --> 02:05:41,167
But if you go ask for
Shehadeh Zahr
1775
02:05:41,192 --> 02:05:43,915
or Habib Zahr, they are her brothers.
1776
02:05:43,940 --> 02:05:46,271
You may find her through them.
1777
02:05:49,899 --> 02:05:53,023
You have a special hello from...
Michel.
1778
02:05:53,219 --> 02:05:54,848
God protect him...
1779
02:05:55,100 --> 02:05:57,431
He used to call me ''Takkoul''.
1780
02:05:57,700 --> 02:06:00,692
It's a pet name for my name Takla.
1781
02:06:01,286 --> 02:06:04,816
I'd really love to know how he's doing.
1782
02:06:08,191 --> 02:06:11,354
I'll give him your phone number
for sure.
1783
02:06:11,379 --> 02:06:14,372
Hopefully he could visit you
next summer
134402
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