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1
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It was a day like no other.
2
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It was a day I had always dreamed of.
3
00:00:42,165 --> 00:00:44,333
A day I would never forget.
4
00:00:46,544 --> 00:00:50,506
Will you marry this woman
and take her to your heart,
5
00:00:50,590 --> 00:00:53,426
forever devoted and forever young?
6
00:00:53,509 --> 00:00:55,177
I will.
7
00:00:55,261 --> 00:00:59,849
And will you marry this man
and take him to your heart,
8
00:00:59,932 --> 00:01:02,435
forever devoted and forever young?
9
00:01:02,518 --> 00:01:04,478
I will.
10
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:07,690
Would you now place the ring on her finger?
11
00:01:10,902 --> 00:01:12,570
I now declare...
12
00:01:15,948 --> 00:01:18,868
What a shame we had uninvited guests.
13
00:01:21,746 --> 00:01:24,832
I'll have what I came for this day!
14
00:01:27,335 --> 00:01:29,212
Jack politely asked him to leave.
15
00:01:29,545 --> 00:01:31,421
Kiss steel, bastard!
16
00:01:44,684 --> 00:01:46,394
Jack!
17
00:02:03,453 --> 00:02:05,539
Hold tight! I'm coming!
18
00:02:09,501 --> 00:02:12,546
His temper flared,
but he fought like a gentleman.
19
00:02:35,902 --> 00:02:40,407
My one true love had fought bravely,
but it wasn't enough.
20
00:02:52,293 --> 00:02:54,378
There was only room for one more.
21
00:02:54,461 --> 00:02:57,047
It was either my love or myself.
22
00:02:57,131 --> 00:03:01,510
- You take it, my love.
- Never! Those maggots will not have you.
23
00:03:01,677 --> 00:03:04,305
They will not have me for long.
24
00:03:04,388 --> 00:03:07,682
I have consumption
and will be dead before the year is out.
25
00:03:07,765 --> 00:03:11,896
You were gonna marry me
with consumption? Why didn't you tell me?
26
00:03:11,979 --> 00:03:14,148
I didn't want to spoil things.
27
00:03:14,231 --> 00:03:15,524
- Go.
- No!
28
00:03:15,608 --> 00:03:17,902
Live to fight another day.
29
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:23,866
Whatever makes you happy.
30
00:03:29,537 --> 00:03:32,874
With Jack, my happiness always came first.
31
00:03:34,667 --> 00:03:36,544
I faced my fate alone.
32
00:03:36,711 --> 00:03:39,756
The 10 turned to 20, the 20 to 40.
33
00:03:39,839 --> 00:03:43,051
Could this be the end of
my freedom, my salvation, my...
34
00:03:43,134 --> 00:03:45,845
Hey, gorgeous!
35
00:03:46,638 --> 00:03:48,932
Hiya, Joanie!
36
00:04:02,654 --> 00:04:04,739
What happened?
37
00:04:36,061 --> 00:04:40,023
"Was this the end of my freedom,
my salvation?"
38
00:04:42,484 --> 00:04:44,570
My career?
39
00:05:57,515 --> 00:05:59,768
Gorgeous day. Huh, gorgeous?
40
00:05:59,851 --> 00:06:02,271
We got blue skies,
41
00:06:02,355 --> 00:06:05,691
nice warm water and a cold beer.
42
00:06:08,819 --> 00:06:10,696
Honey, did you get any more Buds?
43
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:15,742
No, I just didn't have time today
to ravage the Riviera for your beer.
44
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:20,038
- Tough day, huh?
- Yeah, you could say it was tough.
45
00:06:20,121 --> 00:06:23,750
But then when the going gets tough,
the tough...
46
00:06:26,294 --> 00:06:28,171
I don't know what the tough do.
47
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:31,341
I don't know what the pirates do,
or what anybody does.
48
00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:34,928
- Jack...
- Oh, honey. I know, baby. I know.
49
00:06:38,055 --> 00:06:40,975
Look out there. What do you see?
50
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:43,937
- Bloomingdale's?
- No.
51
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,480
Greece.
52
00:06:45,564 --> 00:06:49,234
Yeah. Mykonos, Lesbos, ouzo, olive oil.
Honey, we're going.
53
00:06:49,317 --> 00:06:53,405
Wait. I thought you said that
we were going back to New York for a while.
54
00:06:53,488 --> 00:06:56,449
Absolutely.
When the summer's over we're going.
55
00:06:56,533 --> 00:07:00,828
Oh, Jack, we've been on this boat
half a year now. I need shore leave.
56
00:07:00,911 --> 00:07:04,498
I promised Gloria I'd finish that book
three months ago, and I can't.
57
00:07:04,582 --> 00:07:06,667
I don't know what happens next.
58
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:09,545
I thought you wanted
to sail around the world with me.
59
00:07:09,628 --> 00:07:12,840
Well, I do, but not all of it this week.
60
00:07:13,257 --> 00:07:16,051
I mean, Jack, this is just becoming a blur.
61
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:20,890
Exotic ports and great parties
and spectacular sunsets...
62
00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:22,640
It's not enough.
63
00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:24,976
It's not enough?!
64
00:07:25,059 --> 00:07:29,398
You sound like someone who's got what they
wanted and now don't want what they got.
65
00:07:29,481 --> 00:07:32,985
- I wanna do something serious.
- Serious? Come on!
66
00:07:33,068 --> 00:07:35,487
How much romance can one woman take?
67
00:07:35,571 --> 00:07:37,865
Joan Wilder?
68
00:07:40,492 --> 00:07:42,995
From your most devoted friend.
69
00:07:43,704 --> 00:07:45,788
Thank you.
70
00:07:52,086 --> 00:07:56,341
"This afternoon we shall meet... awaiting
the moment." What's this afternoon?
71
00:07:56,424 --> 00:08:01,262
- Must be somebody coming to the reception.
- That's not till next Tuesday.
72
00:08:02,847 --> 00:08:05,350
This is "next Tuesday", Jack.
73
00:08:21,574 --> 00:08:26,621
- Jack, you said you were getting a car.
- If I knew it was Tuesday, I would've. Sorry.
74
00:08:26,704 --> 00:08:28,790
That's all right.
75
00:08:28,873 --> 00:08:32,210
Whaddaya say we spin that roulette wheel
while we're there?
76
00:08:32,292 --> 00:08:34,378
Sounds great.
77
00:08:44,096 --> 00:08:45,389
Jack.
78
00:08:45,472 --> 00:08:47,349
- Yeah?
- She can't leave now.
79
00:08:47,432 --> 00:08:50,227
- Why not?
- What do you mean, "Why not?"
80
00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:53,815
- Oh, my God.
- I'm your biggest fan!
81
00:08:53,898 --> 00:08:56,233
- I read all your books.
- Thank you.
82
00:08:56,316 --> 00:09:00,571
I'm so happy to see you.
83
00:09:00,654 --> 00:09:03,907
- This is my publisher. Gloria Horne.
- Oh, your publisher.
84
00:09:04,491 --> 00:09:07,411
- And this is...
- You are Mr Wilder?
85
00:09:07,995 --> 00:09:10,831
No, I'm Mr Colton. Jack Colton.
86
00:09:10,914 --> 00:09:13,250
What do you do, Mr Colton?
87
00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,419
Casino work.
88
00:09:15,502 --> 00:09:20,089
Yeah. I think I'll go downstairs and punch in.
Excuse me, excuse me.
89
00:09:20,172 --> 00:09:22,675
- But...
- I'll be back!
90
00:09:24,176 --> 00:09:26,429
God, I've got to have a drink!
91
00:09:26,512 --> 00:09:28,973
Literary functions are not Jack's speed.
92
00:09:29,056 --> 00:09:32,978
I mean, his favourite author
is the man who wrote "Pull Tab to Open".
93
00:09:33,061 --> 00:09:36,982
- I am his favourite author.
- You saying it's none of my business?
94
00:09:37,065 --> 00:09:40,110
Let me tell you, Jack is not the marrying kind.
95
00:09:40,194 --> 00:09:44,238
I am worried. You're the girl who
never gets a book back late to the library.
96
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:49,493
You are three months past your deadline.
What gives? Un scotch, double.
97
00:09:49,577 --> 00:09:54,498
My heart just isn't in it. Romance
just doesn't seem real to me any more.
98
00:09:54,582 --> 00:09:59,128
Real? You don't write "real". You write
about people that sail off into the sunset.
99
00:09:59,212 --> 00:10:03,925
- And the next day when the sun comes up?
- There is no next day in romance.
100
00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:07,344
Stop confusing real life
with a romantic novel.
101
00:10:07,719 --> 00:10:11,306
- Joanie, just finish it.
- I can't.
102
00:10:11,389 --> 00:10:14,434
After 17 books,
I don't know how it ends any more.
103
00:10:14,517 --> 00:10:17,563
Then permit me to tell you.
104
00:10:20,858 --> 00:10:22,944
It doesn't end.
105
00:10:23,027 --> 00:10:26,864
It only begins anew
when you journey down the Nile with me.
106
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:31,076
- Have you got the right woman?
- No.
107
00:10:32,285 --> 00:10:37,415
My name is Omar Khalifa and I have travelled
1,000 miles to tell you I need you.
108
00:10:37,499 --> 00:10:40,335
- You sent me the flowers.
- They pale by your beauty.
109
00:10:40,418 --> 00:10:42,087
Oh, Mary!
110
00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:46,383
- I read about you.
- Yes, I know. Time magazine.
111
00:10:46,466 --> 00:10:51,054
Well, I'm afraid the Western press
cannot understand the spirit of my vision.
112
00:10:51,137 --> 00:10:54,056
You are a writer. You can understand.
113
00:10:54,932 --> 00:10:58,562
So, Joan Wilder,
you must come and write my story.
114
00:10:59,729 --> 00:11:02,065
I only write romance novels.
115
00:11:02,148 --> 00:11:06,152
Yes. And you haven't finished the one
you're working on right now.
116
00:11:06,987 --> 00:11:11,324
You are a gifted storyteller.
You create heroes in a world of cynics.
117
00:11:11,575 --> 00:11:15,453
Journey down the Nile with me
and I'll give you a chance to record history.
118
00:11:15,537 --> 00:11:18,080
- Come. We must leave today.
- Joanie!
119
00:11:18,664 --> 00:11:23,752
In just four nights I will become Emperor,
and you will have the exclusive story.
120
00:11:23,836 --> 00:11:26,672
- They have emperors on the Nile?
- They do now.
121
00:11:27,548 --> 00:11:29,633
Oh, shit.
122
00:11:49,445 --> 00:11:51,530
So now what are we celebrating?
123
00:11:51,614 --> 00:11:54,116
- The Nile!
- Oh, the Nile.
124
00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:56,202
We've been invited to Africa.
125
00:11:57,077 --> 00:11:59,205
Jack Colton, Omar Khalifa.
126
00:11:59,955 --> 00:12:02,249
How do you do?
127
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:08,504
He's asked me - me - to write his story.
It's just what I've always wanted to do!
128
00:12:08,588 --> 00:12:12,926
And now Joan's work will receive
the serious attention that it deserves.
129
00:12:13,009 --> 00:12:16,054
And this will be her biggest accomplishment:
130
00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:18,223
My biography.
131
00:12:18,890 --> 00:12:22,394
What's so important there
that you have to write the book now?
132
00:12:22,478 --> 00:12:24,980
- Mr Khalifa has...
- Omar, please.
133
00:12:25,564 --> 00:12:29,817
Omar has been chosen
to unite the tribes of the Nile
134
00:12:30,068 --> 00:12:32,987
and end the strife that has bloodied his land.
135
00:12:33,071 --> 00:12:36,241
He will carry on the work of
the missing Great Redeemer.
136
00:12:36,324 --> 00:12:40,203
- You have listened very well.
- You got all that in 20 minutes?
137
00:12:42,121 --> 00:12:46,125
As a friend of Miss Wilder's,
you are welcome to be my guest also.
138
00:12:46,668 --> 00:12:48,753
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
139
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,549
Could I talk to you for a minute, please?
140
00:12:59,263 --> 00:13:01,348
I thought you wanted to go to New York.
141
00:13:01,431 --> 00:13:03,725
- That's all changed.
- That fast?
142
00:13:03,809 --> 00:13:08,106
But to write a biography -
it's something important, something real.
143
00:13:08,189 --> 00:13:12,360
- This is what I've been looking for.
- Isn't it a little bit over your head?
144
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,945
I think it's a great chance.
145
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,114
So you got your heart set on it?
146
00:13:21,994 --> 00:13:24,454
Mine's set on Greece.
147
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:31,044
So when are you gonna leave?
148
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,965
Tonight. He has a private jet and...
149
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,341
Oh, he's got a private jet.
150
00:13:39,468 --> 00:13:42,972
- Oh, what the hell. We had a good run.
- Oh, Jack, come on.
151
00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:45,850
This is just five or four weeks of research.
152
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:48,729
Maybe you're right. Maybe we need a break.
153
00:13:48,812 --> 00:13:51,231
It's been kind of tough lately.
154
00:13:51,315 --> 00:13:54,860
Yeah. When the going gets tough,
the tough go to Greece.
155
00:13:58,864 --> 00:14:02,116
- Well, I'll write you.
- Where?
156
00:14:03,868 --> 00:14:05,661
Yeah.
157
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,622
Where?
158
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:24,387
I think I'll go down and
give that roulette wheel one more chance.
159
00:14:34,398 --> 00:14:36,484
You take care of yourself.
160
00:14:38,986 --> 00:14:41,072
And you stay out of trouble.
161
00:14:51,831 --> 00:14:53,708
Look out for her, will ya?
162
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:58,004
I can offer you this comfort:
She leaves you for a higher purpose.
163
00:15:01,299 --> 00:15:03,176
Yeah.
164
00:15:18,441 --> 00:15:20,527
Free Al-Jawhara!
165
00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:54,477
Don't be frightened. You know,
a man of vision has many enemies.
166
00:15:54,561 --> 00:15:58,522
And my destiny is to outsmart them.
You see?
167
00:15:59,481 --> 00:16:01,567
Like it?
168
00:16:02,026 --> 00:16:04,361
It's OK.
169
00:16:46,694 --> 00:16:49,906
Well, sweetheart, I guess it's just you and me.
170
00:16:49,989 --> 00:16:52,784
Goddamn it, she was the best time I ever had.
171
00:16:53,159 --> 00:16:55,995
Don't cry, scumbag! I'll keep you company.
172
00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:02,877
Cartagena, Colombia!
Long time no... Oh, shit.
173
00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:06,965
- Go ahead. Gimme a reason. Make my year!
- Hey, go easy with the gun.
174
00:17:07,048 --> 00:17:11,718
Did you miss me? I missed you.
You're all I thought about for six months.
175
00:17:11,969 --> 00:17:16,765
They threw me in a jail filled with rejects
from the communicable disease ward.
176
00:17:17,015 --> 00:17:21,771
Every wacko, drippy,
open-sored lowlife was in that joint!
177
00:17:21,855 --> 00:17:24,315
All wanting to be my proctologist.
178
00:17:24,566 --> 00:17:27,819
And rats! I'm full of rat bites.
179
00:17:28,987 --> 00:17:33,991
Ten weeks of rabies shots this long and
all I thought of was you, Colton. Just you!
180
00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:38,662
Well, I'm flattered, pal.
And I'm sorry you had such a tough time.
181
00:17:40,038 --> 00:17:41,999
How about 100 bucks?
182
00:17:42,082 --> 00:17:46,003
I'll give you a one-way ticket to Harp Land!
What'd you do with it?
183
00:17:46,086 --> 00:17:49,381
- What are you talking about?
- The stone, moron! I'm cocked!
184
00:17:49,464 --> 00:17:54,260
- Let's talk about this like gentlemen.
- Gentlemen! Did I tell you I got malaria?
185
00:17:54,343 --> 00:17:58,806
Every time I shake, I shake like this. Know
what happens if I shake my trigger finger?
186
00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:02,936
And I feel an attack coming on!
Know what happens if that happens?
187
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:05,856
It's the end of Mr Lucky. That's the end of...
188
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,692
Holy shit!
189
00:18:09,693 --> 00:18:13,030
Quiet! Next time you'll not be so lucky.
190
00:18:13,113 --> 00:18:17,075
- I am Tarak. You must come with me now.
- What the hell are you?
191
00:18:17,159 --> 00:18:20,953
- Omar steal our jewel. Al-Jawhara.
- Jewel?
192
00:18:21,037 --> 00:18:25,583
You were invited with the woman. You can
get into Omar's palace. My people cannot.
193
00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:30,463
- What people? What are you talking about?
- You must help me find the Jewel.
194
00:18:30,546 --> 00:18:32,924
- What jewel?
- The Jewel of the Nile.
195
00:18:33,007 --> 00:18:35,509
- Our most priceless jewel.
- Oh, that jewel.
196
00:18:35,593 --> 00:18:39,347
Omar has stolen my people's jewel.
Omar is a very bad man.
197
00:18:39,430 --> 00:18:41,515
Oh, that scum! I spit on him!
198
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:45,228
Jack, buddy, let's help this nice man
get his jewel back.
199
00:18:45,311 --> 00:18:48,898
- Yes.
- Look, I don't know where you're from,
200
00:18:48,981 --> 00:18:51,067
but I'm sailing my boat tonight.
201
00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:55,613
No, you must come to help find the Jewel
now before Omar kill many people.
202
00:18:55,905 --> 00:18:59,700
As long as Omar have the Jewel,
nothing can stop him.
203
00:18:59,784 --> 00:19:03,829
Look, I'm going on the boat.
You guys can do what you want.
204
00:19:09,376 --> 00:19:11,253
The boat blew up!
205
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,507
My boat blew up.
206
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:17,634
The boat blew up!
207
00:19:17,717 --> 00:19:19,803
Everything's gone.
208
00:19:22,013 --> 00:19:25,517
Who are you? The Prince of Darkness?
Don't you got any friends?
209
00:19:25,684 --> 00:19:27,769
This is the work of Omar.
210
00:19:29,187 --> 00:19:33,066
- Omar blew up my boat, huh?
- Your woman is in danger, too.
211
00:19:33,149 --> 00:19:35,151
I will take you to him.
212
00:19:35,235 --> 00:19:37,737
- I'm coming, too.
- The hell you are!
213
00:19:38,321 --> 00:19:41,324
Look, you owe me, Colton.
214
00:19:41,408 --> 00:19:44,119
So wherever you're going, I'm going.
215
00:19:45,412 --> 00:19:47,706
Where we going?
216
00:19:47,789 --> 00:19:49,332
Africa.
217
00:20:19,904 --> 00:20:23,157
- Do you recognise my home?
- I wrote this!
218
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:28,495
Yes! In The Return of the King.
I had the same uniforms designed.
219
00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:43,384
Hello. Hi!
220
00:20:46,471 --> 00:20:49,849
- Is all this yours?
- It belongs to the country. To my people.
221
00:20:49,933 --> 00:20:51,810
Oh.
222
00:20:56,857 --> 00:20:58,984
Why point out the negative?
223
00:20:59,068 --> 00:21:02,111
In three nights in Kadir
the moon will be full,
224
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:07,700
and all my people will unite behind me
in peace and none of this will be necessary.
225
00:21:07,784 --> 00:21:12,247
- Now let me show you my humble house.
- Thank you.
226
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:20,838
I'm really blessed. My people love me.
227
00:21:20,922 --> 00:21:24,591
Well, yes. They seem very... enthusiastic.
228
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:35,812
Oh, this is a good shot for you -
the little boy holding up my picture.
229
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,981
Oh, yeah, that's wonderful.
230
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:01,753
My humble house.
231
00:22:01,837 --> 00:22:04,464
You must forgive us. We are a poor people.
232
00:22:14,390 --> 00:22:17,019
Everything you need, they will bring you.
233
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,562
Oh, thank you.
234
00:22:18,645 --> 00:22:22,649
Here only strangers say thank you.
Family and friends have no need.
235
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:26,612
What was that?
236
00:22:26,695 --> 00:22:28,780
Cats. Come.
237
00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:32,784
I have a cat.
238
00:22:40,374 --> 00:22:42,460
I hope this is satisfactory.
239
00:22:44,003 --> 00:22:47,298
Oh, yes, this is OK. Fine.
240
00:22:47,381 --> 00:22:49,926
Here you'll write your masterpiece.
241
00:22:50,009 --> 00:22:52,220
Ah, I have a few questions...
242
00:22:52,303 --> 00:22:55,806
I see the writer is already at work. Good.
243
00:22:56,891 --> 00:22:59,310
Explore your new world.
244
00:22:59,393 --> 00:23:02,813
Feel free to go anywhere and see anything.
245
00:23:03,147 --> 00:23:05,233
Talk to anyone.
246
00:23:05,816 --> 00:23:09,570
I'm glad you're here, Joan.
Together we'll make history.
247
00:24:07,085 --> 00:24:09,170
It's like a fishbowl!
248
00:24:09,253 --> 00:24:13,841
Why do these Third World cesspools
always gotta be so hot, will you tell me that?
249
00:24:16,093 --> 00:24:18,179
Hey, where the hell you going?
250
00:24:23,643 --> 00:24:25,729
Holy shit!
251
00:24:42,828 --> 00:24:47,416
Well, Colton, looks like
we've hitched our wagon to a star.
252
00:25:16,362 --> 00:25:18,447
Stop that! Stop it!
253
00:25:27,121 --> 00:25:29,207
Excuse me?
254
00:25:30,291 --> 00:25:32,752
What does this mean?
255
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,093
- Do you speak English?
- "Give back the Jewel."
256
00:25:40,677 --> 00:25:44,179
- Give back the jewel?
- Yeah. Eid lana Al-Jawhara.
257
00:25:49,060 --> 00:25:51,563
You can't do that! I'm a professional.
258
00:26:00,405 --> 00:26:02,490
We'll see about that.
259
00:26:04,409 --> 00:26:07,786
If you don't tell me
what the hell is going on here,
260
00:26:07,870 --> 00:26:12,082
- I'll be on the first plane back to New York.
- It's impossible.
261
00:26:12,666 --> 00:26:17,754
Tomorrow we journey to Kadir. You must be
there. It will be your most important chapter.
262
00:26:17,838 --> 00:26:21,884
- I can't write if you keep secrets from me.
- What secrets?
263
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,805
What is the Jewel?
264
00:26:29,098 --> 00:26:31,435
The Jewel is a legend.
265
00:26:31,518 --> 00:26:33,604
I am real.
266
00:26:34,188 --> 00:26:37,608
Do not be distracted
from your mission, Joan Wilder.
267
00:26:38,317 --> 00:26:40,402
Make yourself comfortable.
268
00:26:40,944 --> 00:26:43,906
You stay with me until our book is done.
269
00:26:43,989 --> 00:26:46,074
You can't keep me here!
270
00:26:48,827 --> 00:26:50,913
Go. You are free to leave.
271
00:26:54,123 --> 00:26:58,252
Only the worst kind of fool
would attempt our desert alone.
272
00:27:08,596 --> 00:27:12,851
I gotta get off this camel.
It's breaking my ass! Colton!
273
00:27:12,935 --> 00:27:15,520
- You gotta hang on and take it.
- I can't.
274
00:27:15,603 --> 00:27:19,065
- The camp's coming up.
- Shit!
275
00:27:34,372 --> 00:27:36,457
You are welcome!
276
00:27:38,084 --> 00:27:40,710
We have food! We have drink!
277
00:27:40,794 --> 00:27:42,879
You got a toilet?
278
00:27:47,759 --> 00:27:50,053
So how big is this jewel?
279
00:27:55,768 --> 00:27:58,855
Very, very big. Very big. Very, very big.
280
00:27:58,938 --> 00:28:00,106
Very big.
281
00:28:01,274 --> 00:28:03,984
It's as big as this orange?
282
00:28:11,741 --> 00:28:15,620
- It's as big as an orange.
- The Jewel is the heart of our people.
283
00:28:15,787 --> 00:28:18,206
Omar steals the heart of our people.
284
00:28:18,290 --> 00:28:20,584
- Omar is thief.
- Omar is very bad man.
285
00:28:20,917 --> 00:28:23,920
Before Omar steal Jewel, everything good.
286
00:28:24,004 --> 00:28:25,921
Now everything is shit!
287
00:28:34,555 --> 00:28:39,311
You help us find the Jewel,
and we give you great reward.
288
00:28:39,394 --> 00:28:42,731
But if you lie to us, you die.
289
00:28:44,482 --> 00:28:46,443
But now we dance!
290
00:29:21,435 --> 00:29:23,521
Look at these guys, Colton.
291
00:29:23,604 --> 00:29:25,689
No sheep is safe tonight.
292
00:29:37,116 --> 00:29:40,954
We split it right down the middle,
Colton. 50-50.
293
00:29:41,037 --> 00:29:43,122
What are you talking about?
294
00:29:43,206 --> 00:29:45,750
Don't play stupid with me, partner.
295
00:29:45,834 --> 00:29:47,710
The Jewel.
296
00:29:47,794 --> 00:29:50,588
And don't you even think of
messing with me.
297
00:29:56,261 --> 00:30:00,180
Oh, what's that I hear?
A heart breaking? You sap!
298
00:30:00,264 --> 00:30:02,141
Keep your mind on business.
299
00:30:02,225 --> 00:30:06,813
You'll wind up getting yourself killed
over some broad who dumped you.
300
00:30:08,690 --> 00:30:10,358
Jewels!
301
00:30:10,441 --> 00:30:12,777
Oh, Omar!
302
00:30:41,471 --> 00:30:44,017
I want you lot to be careful!
303
00:30:44,767 --> 00:30:49,897
See that word "Fragile" on the side?
It means don't drop... Why don't you listen?
304
00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:54,735
I might love your country, your culture,
and even your people! That means I love you!
305
00:30:54,818 --> 00:30:58,614
But you drop one more of my boxes,
and I'll smash your bloody face in!
306
00:31:01,033 --> 00:31:06,079
You tell Omar, right - Omar -
that his special-effects wizard has arrived!
307
00:31:06,163 --> 00:31:08,248
Come on, then.
308
00:32:34,499 --> 00:32:37,377
War plans? Oh, my God! What is he up to?
309
00:32:42,924 --> 00:32:45,676
Wait till Time magazine sees this.
310
00:33:10,159 --> 00:33:12,661
You bastard! You burnt my hand!
311
00:33:12,745 --> 00:33:17,708
I didn't say it wouldn't burn.
I said it wouldn't hurt! There's no blistering.
312
00:33:17,791 --> 00:33:22,296
- I've done it hundreds of times on stage.
- This is not a cheap theatrical stunt!
313
00:33:22,379 --> 00:33:27,676
- It's a miracle! My people have to believe it!
- Omar, trust me. Trust what I've got to say.
314
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:32,722
Look, if I can make gods out of rock'n'roll
stars, imagine what I can do for you.
315
00:33:32,805 --> 00:33:36,769
For your information,
I am not a rock'n'roll star!
316
00:33:36,852 --> 00:33:40,147
The people must believe
I have the same powers as the Jewel.
317
00:33:40,231 --> 00:33:42,566
Come! I want to see him now.
318
00:33:42,650 --> 00:33:46,862
If it weren't for the Jewel,
I'd have led my people to power long ago.
319
00:33:56,246 --> 00:34:01,292
Westerners understand nothing. The Jewel
represents the spiritual world of my people.
320
00:34:01,376 --> 00:34:05,964
Unless I convince them I am their spiritual
leader, they will never follow me into battle.
321
00:34:06,047 --> 00:34:08,132
That is why you are here.
322
00:34:33,074 --> 00:34:37,203
- Tell me how it's done, magician.
- It's not magic trick. It's miracle.
323
00:34:38,496 --> 00:34:40,873
I am losing patience with you.
324
00:34:40,956 --> 00:34:44,918
But you cannot kill me.
Even you are superstitious.
325
00:34:45,002 --> 00:34:47,671
Al-Jawhara lives.
326
00:34:47,754 --> 00:34:50,841
Two nights from now it will not matter.
327
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,442
Oh, no.
328
00:35:12,779 --> 00:35:14,781
A woman?
329
00:35:15,032 --> 00:35:18,076
- Most unexpected.
- I gotta get outta here.
330
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,245
I gotta stop Omar.
331
00:35:20,496 --> 00:35:23,290
Did you bring an army?
332
00:35:23,373 --> 00:35:27,585
- No. I'm just Joan Wilder.
- Just-Joan Wilder, I'm Al-Jawhara.
333
00:35:30,379 --> 00:35:32,840
The Jewel of the Nile.
334
00:35:33,174 --> 00:35:35,510
I don't understand.
335
00:35:35,593 --> 00:35:38,971
- You are the Jewel?!
- Yes. For the moment.
336
00:35:39,055 --> 00:35:43,977
In two nights at the holy city of Kadir
Omar will proclaim himself Emperor.
337
00:35:44,061 --> 00:35:48,106
Without me to oppose him, he'll march
across North Africa like a madman.
338
00:35:49,733 --> 00:35:52,568
But the world will see me
as the saviour of my people.
339
00:35:52,652 --> 00:35:57,532
No, it won't. The world won't believe you.
I've been in your office and seen your vision.
340
00:35:57,615 --> 00:35:59,992
- I'll write the truth about you.
- The truth?
341
00:36:00,326 --> 00:36:03,371
If I wanted the truth,
I would have hired 60 Minutes.
342
00:36:03,454 --> 00:36:06,499
What do you know about truth?
You fantasise everything.
343
00:36:06,582 --> 00:36:12,004
Why do you think I brought you here? You
stay here and write what I tell you to write!
344
00:36:13,631 --> 00:36:17,801
- You think no one knows I'm here?
- Oh, yes, Jack! I forgot to tell you.
345
00:36:18,093 --> 00:36:20,595
Jack is dead.
346
00:36:21,555 --> 00:36:25,393
Don't be ridiculous.
Jack would never die without telling me.
347
00:36:25,726 --> 00:36:27,812
Nevertheless, he is dead.
348
00:36:34,735 --> 00:36:39,406
You look pale, Miss Wilder.
I'll send you my personal physician.
349
00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:48,206
It can't be true.
350
00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:57,340
This Jack... He is friend for you?
351
00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:00,593
Yes.
352
00:37:00,676 --> 00:37:02,761
He is my best friend.
353
00:37:15,692 --> 00:37:18,195
What? I don't see shit!
354
00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:21,364
We must stop here.
355
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:24,492
It is dangerous for Sufis to enter Omar's city.
356
00:37:25,075 --> 00:37:27,786
Now, wait. He's already tried to kill me once.
357
00:37:29,955 --> 00:37:32,249
You are guest of Omar.
358
00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:35,961
Find for us the Jewel. Accept your destiny.
359
00:37:37,421 --> 00:37:40,299
Destiny, my ass! Excuse me.
360
00:37:41,467 --> 00:37:44,220
When you hook up with jujubes,
see what happens.
361
00:37:44,303 --> 00:37:47,265
Just take your lead from me, and we'll be fine.
362
00:37:48,724 --> 00:37:53,187
- We gonna walk through the centre of town?
- I'm gonna put you up a camel's ass.
363
00:37:53,270 --> 00:37:54,939
I might like it.
364
00:38:00,569 --> 00:38:03,155
- What are you doing?
- In one of my books,
365
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,324
Angelina's Savage Secret,
366
00:38:05,407 --> 00:38:10,079
she used her nailfile to cut
the mortar away from the window box.
367
00:38:10,621 --> 00:38:12,747
How long did this take?
368
00:38:12,831 --> 00:38:14,791
Two pages.
369
00:38:14,874 --> 00:38:19,504
But... it's not the bars
that make the prison. It is the desert.
370
00:38:19,587 --> 00:38:23,424
So I'll travel at night. I don't care.
I have to stop Omar.
371
00:38:23,508 --> 00:38:26,261
I gotta get out to write the truth about him.
372
00:38:26,344 --> 00:38:28,429
I have to get to Kadir.
373
00:38:28,972 --> 00:38:32,434
Wait a minute.
You are the one that has to get to Kadir.
374
00:38:32,518 --> 00:38:35,854
You are the only one that can stop Omar.
You have to go with me!
375
00:38:38,606 --> 00:38:40,900
Maybe you are the one.
376
00:38:42,986 --> 00:38:44,445
I accept.
377
00:38:44,821 --> 00:38:46,906
We are sworn, Just-Joan.
378
00:38:48,950 --> 00:38:52,245
- Right. But it's just Joan.
- Right. Just-Joan.
379
00:38:52,328 --> 00:38:55,999
- Right. We just have to get out this window.
- Please.
380
00:39:01,253 --> 00:39:04,173
- Magic!
- Dry rot.
381
00:39:06,216 --> 00:39:12,265
I bet you could pick up a swell three-bedroom
town house here for about five or six dollars.
382
00:39:15,226 --> 00:39:16,978
Hi. My name is Colton.
383
00:39:17,061 --> 00:39:20,773
I've been invited by your Omar.
I'm here to see Joan Wilder.
384
00:39:23,609 --> 00:39:26,111
Hey, Rachid! How are you?
Good to see you again.
385
00:39:26,195 --> 00:39:28,405
Joan Wilder does not want to see you.
386
00:39:32,701 --> 00:39:35,913
Well, now, Rachid,
I don't think you understand.
387
00:39:37,498 --> 00:39:42,002
We're here on official business.
This is Mr... Fatush from the US Embassy.
388
00:39:42,085 --> 00:39:46,214
He's got something very important
to talk to all you guys about.
389
00:39:50,593 --> 00:39:53,930
Look, we don't want to
create an international incident here.
390
00:39:54,013 --> 00:39:57,142
I mean, after all, she is an American citizen.
391
00:39:57,226 --> 00:40:01,396
If you'll just let us see her, no paperwork.
Mum's the word. Everything...
392
00:40:03,941 --> 00:40:07,444
Guys, no sweat, OK?
We'll catch you next time we're in town.
393
00:40:07,528 --> 00:40:09,862
- Take it easy.
- Say hello to her for us.
394
00:40:09,946 --> 00:40:13,699
You know what they say: Once
they've had a holy man, they never go back.
395
00:40:14,283 --> 00:40:18,496
- Quickly, Just-Joan!
- Are you sure you know where you're going?
396
00:40:23,751 --> 00:40:26,796
Those guys can go for hours
without coming up for air.
397
00:40:26,879 --> 00:40:30,967
Ease up, will ya?
All right, there's gotta be another way in here.
398
00:40:31,050 --> 00:40:36,889
I can't wait for another smooth move. How
about us at the back door in pussycat suits?
399
00:40:36,973 --> 00:40:40,852
- When they come with the milk...
- How about you takin' it in the ear!?
400
00:40:40,935 --> 00:40:44,147
Look, if it wasn't for me,
you wouldn't be on to this.
401
00:40:44,355 --> 00:40:47,275
Subsequently I should shoot you
the first chance I get!
402
00:40:47,358 --> 00:40:48,901
Jack!
403
00:40:49,318 --> 00:40:51,404
You're alive!
404
00:40:51,487 --> 00:40:53,656
Kinda goin' outta your way to duck me!
405
00:40:53,739 --> 00:40:56,116
You bastard!
406
00:41:04,708 --> 00:41:07,586
Oh, Jack! I thought I'd never see you again.
407
00:41:07,669 --> 00:41:11,631
They told me you were dead.
I never wanna feel that way again.
408
00:41:12,090 --> 00:41:14,885
Does this mean you apologise?
409
00:41:14,968 --> 00:41:19,139
I feel like I'm back in eighth grade.
Is this The Young and the Stupid?
410
00:41:19,222 --> 00:41:23,602
- What the hell is he doing here?
- Don't get cagey with me. I'm on to it.
411
00:41:23,685 --> 00:41:25,770
I know how you two operate.
412
00:41:28,190 --> 00:41:31,318
I'll get in there with or without you dinks!
413
00:41:40,118 --> 00:41:45,206
Hey, look, guys! Lighten up!
I'm only saying hello to an old girlfriend here!
414
00:41:45,289 --> 00:41:49,043
- Just-Joan, we need to go!
- Wait a minute, who's this guy?
415
00:41:49,126 --> 00:41:52,463
- He's a friend.
- You made friends in there?
416
00:42:08,771 --> 00:42:11,732
- OK. Let's go, come on!
- Wait. He's coming with us.
417
00:42:12,900 --> 00:42:16,695
Don't start with me! I've come
halfway across Africa to rescue you.
418
00:42:16,779 --> 00:42:19,573
Rescue me? I was doing fine without you.
419
00:42:21,367 --> 00:42:24,703
- I am guide. I can help.
- I don't need a guide. I need a miracle!
420
00:42:24,787 --> 00:42:26,872
Jack, he's coming with us.
421
00:42:30,667 --> 00:42:34,963
All right. But if we get out of this alive,
I'm gonna kill you.
422
00:42:35,046 --> 00:42:36,506
Let's go.
423
00:43:11,291 --> 00:43:13,877
- Who are you?
- Is this where Al Jolson's buried?
424
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,712
- Who the hell are you?
- Don't provoke me, pal!
425
00:43:16,795 --> 00:43:21,383
I had a tough day. You know
how hot it is here? It's 120� in the shade.
426
00:43:23,510 --> 00:43:26,890
I'm like this with Weinberger.
We'll be all over you!
427
00:43:34,856 --> 00:43:36,733
Let me in!
428
00:43:38,817 --> 00:43:40,944
Holy shit and shove me in it.
429
00:44:13,310 --> 00:44:15,395
Oh, no. Over the wall!
430
00:44:49,261 --> 00:44:51,639
Excuse me. Excuse me.
431
00:44:55,518 --> 00:44:57,395
Come on!
432
00:44:57,478 --> 00:44:59,147
No! No!
433
00:45:03,818 --> 00:45:06,863
OK, flyboy,
your estimated time of departure is now!
434
00:45:25,589 --> 00:45:28,550
- What are you doing?
- I'm not doing anything!
435
00:45:29,593 --> 00:45:33,181
- Well, do something!
- All right. I'm trying!
436
00:45:36,349 --> 00:45:38,727
I mean, this isn't Space Invaders!
437
00:45:44,816 --> 00:45:47,736
- Jack, the wall!
- Oh, no!
438
00:46:28,150 --> 00:46:32,321
- It is Space Invaders!
- That'll show 'em!
439
00:46:42,081 --> 00:46:43,999
All right, yeah!
440
00:46:44,750 --> 00:46:47,460
Oh, shit!
441
00:46:49,629 --> 00:46:51,714
Let's get outta here!
442
00:47:07,398 --> 00:47:09,482
This is gonna be tight!
443
00:47:14,404 --> 00:47:16,656
This is my first time in airplane.
444
00:47:29,335 --> 00:47:31,671
How do you stop this thing?
445
00:47:38,010 --> 00:47:39,887
Sorry!
446
00:47:48,146 --> 00:47:50,982
- Do you know where you're going?
- Give me a break!
447
00:48:35,859 --> 00:48:38,695
- Your friend steal the Jewel.
- What?
448
00:48:43,366 --> 00:48:46,452
- You! You are liar to me!
- No!
449
00:48:46,911 --> 00:48:49,205
I come back and you're dead!
450
00:48:54,210 --> 00:48:57,380
You thieving bastard!
You ain't stiffin' me again!
451
00:48:57,463 --> 00:49:00,842
I promise ya.
I'll feed ya to the maggots! I'll get...
452
00:50:00,442 --> 00:50:02,319
Great! We're out of quarters.
453
00:50:02,402 --> 00:50:04,529
Well, try that one there.
454
00:50:10,118 --> 00:50:12,204
Now what?
455
00:50:12,662 --> 00:50:14,748
Damn it!
456
00:50:24,507 --> 00:50:26,258
Yes!
457
00:50:27,092 --> 00:50:29,763
Hey, that's not bad for your first time.
458
00:51:04,129 --> 00:51:06,256
Come on, we'll get him. We'll get him.
459
00:51:06,339 --> 00:51:08,883
Colton, you ain't gettin' away.
460
00:51:29,821 --> 00:51:31,906
Where the hell's the horn?
461
00:51:33,158 --> 00:51:35,910
Get outta here! Get out of the way!
462
00:51:54,094 --> 00:51:55,555
Sandstorm.
463
00:52:05,523 --> 00:52:08,109
Stop!
464
00:52:08,485 --> 00:52:10,862
What are you gonna do?
465
00:52:12,405 --> 00:52:14,990
Either save us or kill us. Hang on!
466
00:53:16,217 --> 00:53:19,179
- Now you are dead.
- No! Don't cut off my head!
467
00:53:19,263 --> 00:53:23,307
- You stole our jewel.
- It was the mook! He's always screwin' me.
468
00:53:23,391 --> 00:53:26,352
I swear to God on my eyes
I never seen that jewel!
469
00:53:27,979 --> 00:53:30,606
No, wait, wait!
470
00:53:30,690 --> 00:53:33,234
You need me. I can help you find him.
471
00:53:33,317 --> 00:53:38,239
- You are his friend.
- No! No friend. Stop saying that.
472
00:53:38,322 --> 00:53:40,658
Friends don't stab each other in the back.
473
00:53:40,741 --> 00:53:45,371
Come on. Look, we'll team up.
We'll find him, we'll get him good.
474
00:53:45,454 --> 00:53:49,749
He knows that I will not be denied!
Colton's future is bleak!
475
00:53:50,417 --> 00:53:52,502
Very bleak!
476
00:53:55,464 --> 00:53:57,340
Any idea where we are?
477
00:53:57,424 --> 00:54:02,388
The best I can figure out is that we head
due east. We should make it to the border.
478
00:54:02,472 --> 00:54:08,060
- Well... is that the way to Kadir?
- La. Kadir is in the west, over that mountain.
479
00:54:08,186 --> 00:54:11,730
Well, the best of luck to you, pal.
Joan, let's get going.
480
00:54:11,813 --> 00:54:13,982
Jack, we have to take him to Kadir.
481
00:54:15,275 --> 00:54:18,737
What are you talkin' about?
We got him out, like you said. Come on.
482
00:54:18,820 --> 00:54:21,948
We swore an oath, Just-Joan and I.
We go to Kadir.
483
00:54:23,450 --> 00:54:25,952
What is it with you?!
484
00:54:26,036 --> 00:54:30,749
Jesus! Everything's always gotta be
your way? It's just like the goddamn boat!
485
00:54:30,832 --> 00:54:35,252
What do you mean "my way"? It wasn't
my idea to spend six months on your boat!
486
00:54:35,336 --> 00:54:39,799
- Oh, debate good. I enjoy.
- OK, let me tell you what I put up with.
487
00:54:40,174 --> 00:54:44,429
We're moored off the Canary Islands.
Midnight, sound asleep.
488
00:54:44,513 --> 00:54:47,140
Three crazed Joan Wilder fans
489
00:54:47,224 --> 00:54:50,685
decide they want the anchor
of the Angelina for a souvenir!
490
00:54:50,769 --> 00:54:56,191
- We were drifting for days! And the other...
- Stop. I'm sorry. It's time for Just-Joan.
491
00:54:56,274 --> 00:54:59,443
- Remember the Costa del Sol, Jack?
- Oh, come on!
492
00:54:59,527 --> 00:55:02,363
He's gotta meet me
at the governor's for dinner.
493
00:55:02,446 --> 00:55:07,409
And you show up with the entire
national basketball team!
494
00:55:07,493 --> 00:55:09,370
They were hungry.
495
00:55:09,453 --> 00:55:13,082
This is what I'm talking about.
Sometimes you could think about me.
496
00:55:13,165 --> 00:55:17,419
Oh, I suppose you were thinking all about me
when you took off with Omar?
497
00:55:17,503 --> 00:55:19,588
- He blew up my boat!
- Our boat?
498
00:55:19,672 --> 00:55:23,550
- Oh, now it's our boat?
- Good debate. It's equal, no winners.
499
00:55:23,633 --> 00:55:26,929
- Just-Joan, we must hurry.
- Wait. He blew up our boat?
500
00:55:27,012 --> 00:55:30,266
Why are you risking your life for this guy?
501
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:35,437
I made a commitment. I can't break it.
502
00:55:39,316 --> 00:55:41,986
OK. Fine.
503
00:55:42,069 --> 00:55:45,864
But I'm gonna tell you the truth.
I didn't come here for you anyway. No!
504
00:55:45,947 --> 00:55:49,033
I'm on to something big.
505
00:55:49,659 --> 00:55:54,664
- A jewel. The Jewel of the Nile.
- Come with us. I am Jawhara!
506
00:55:55,665 --> 00:55:58,960
- That means Joe.
- Thanks, Joe, but no thanks.
507
00:55:59,419 --> 00:56:02,422
I wouldn't want her
to break her commitment.
508
00:56:03,131 --> 00:56:05,216
Oh, Jack...
509
00:56:05,633 --> 00:56:07,718
Come on.
510
00:56:46,006 --> 00:56:48,091
That's for the Angelina.
511
00:56:49,218 --> 00:56:51,304
I still owe you for Joan.
512
00:56:54,890 --> 00:56:59,561
Oh, no. Oh, God.
Please, let me get out of this alive.
513
00:56:59,686 --> 00:57:03,690
I swear to God
I'll be a good boy from tomorrow on.
514
00:57:09,196 --> 00:57:11,281
But tonight I gotta kill Colton.
515
00:57:25,086 --> 00:57:27,505
Heydi Joan Wilder!
516
00:57:41,602 --> 00:57:45,356
- Why you didn't tell your friend about me?
- Oh, I know him.
517
00:57:45,940 --> 00:57:50,403
He'd go halfway round the world for a party.
He wouldn't cross town for a noble cause.
518
00:57:50,486 --> 00:57:54,448
- People can surprise you.
- No, he's just Jack. He'll never change.
519
00:57:54,532 --> 00:57:56,617
Like a...
520
00:57:57,201 --> 00:57:59,328
Like a stone.
521
00:57:59,412 --> 00:58:03,166
It's always a stone. Open your hand.
522
00:58:04,416 --> 00:58:07,669
Change is not always visible.
523
00:58:07,836 --> 00:58:11,006
- Let's show some hustle!
- What?
524
00:58:11,089 --> 00:58:15,051
Your buddy Omar!
What is it? He can't live without you?
525
00:58:18,890 --> 00:58:21,726
- Are we jogging?
- We are jogging.
526
00:58:34,488 --> 00:58:36,990
Greece is looking better and better.
527
00:58:46,041 --> 00:58:48,126
Oh, shit!
528
00:58:49,586 --> 00:58:52,505
Just tell me why this guy wants you so bad.
529
00:58:53,422 --> 00:58:55,883
- Hey, Joe, where you going?
- This way.
530
00:58:55,966 --> 00:58:59,304
- You gotta be kidding.
- He knows the mountains better than you.
531
00:58:59,387 --> 00:59:01,473
Joan, will you give me a break?
532
00:59:01,556 --> 00:59:03,975
America - democracy. We vote, huh?
533
00:59:58,487 --> 01:00:00,573
Stop!
534
01:00:12,584 --> 01:00:14,669
Hurry up. Let's go!
535
01:00:15,587 --> 01:00:16,838
Get down!
536
01:00:21,092 --> 01:00:23,179
It's a black day for democracy.
537
01:00:24,596 --> 01:00:28,641
- Do not worry. It's not my destiny to die here.
- What about us?
538
01:00:29,893 --> 01:00:32,437
That's another ball game.
539
01:00:41,404 --> 01:00:43,615
Rachid!
540
01:00:47,619 --> 01:00:49,828
Joan Wilder!
541
01:00:49,912 --> 01:00:52,289
I wish no harm to you!
542
01:00:52,706 --> 01:00:55,292
I'm your friend! Your fan!
543
01:00:55,834 --> 01:00:58,045
Please surrender!
544
01:00:58,128 --> 01:01:02,299
What did you do for this guy Omar
you never did for me?
545
01:01:02,382 --> 01:01:04,468
Bloody bitch!
546
01:01:14,186 --> 01:01:16,271
Oh, shit! Look out!
547
01:01:48,470 --> 01:01:50,639
Hey, Omar! Eat rocks!
548
01:01:52,558 --> 01:01:54,059
Let's go.
549
01:02:22,836 --> 01:02:24,921
I got something.
550
01:02:29,009 --> 01:02:31,179
Nubians.
551
01:02:31,262 --> 01:02:33,598
I was hoping to avoid them.
552
01:02:40,646 --> 01:02:42,732
Sell any books here?
553
01:02:46,067 --> 01:02:49,738
- Main man! Hey, my man!
- What are you so happy about?
554
01:02:49,821 --> 01:02:54,075
Just keep smiling. Maybe they'll think
we're from National Geographic.
555
01:03:00,248 --> 01:03:02,334
Hey! How ya doin'?
556
01:03:33,572 --> 01:03:36,700
He says it's many days'
long trip over high mountains.
557
01:03:36,784 --> 01:03:39,411
And he wishes us a very pleasant journey.
558
01:03:41,497 --> 01:03:43,833
Thank you.
559
01:03:43,916 --> 01:03:48,045
All right. Thank you, guys.
Catch you next time. Goodbye.
560
01:03:48,129 --> 01:03:50,214
Come on, Jack.
561
01:03:52,925 --> 01:03:59,140
Ah, Mr Jack! Just-Joan! The Chief's son, he
wishes to make a blessing for your marriage.
562
01:04:01,267 --> 01:04:03,727
We're not married.
563
01:04:24,372 --> 01:04:29,669
He says, because you are not married,
that his son wishes to court you.
564
01:04:30,086 --> 01:04:32,589
- Oh, I just...
- Oh, no, that's...
565
01:04:33,631 --> 01:04:37,928
That's very nice, but the lady is...
She's with me.
566
01:04:44,142 --> 01:04:49,439
He says that because there is more than
one suitor, that you must wrestle his son.
567
01:04:49,773 --> 01:04:51,858
I gotta wrestle his son?
568
01:04:56,946 --> 01:04:59,032
How ya doin'?
569
01:05:02,660 --> 01:05:04,746
OK. This one I think I can handle.
570
01:05:05,412 --> 01:05:07,289
OK!
571
01:05:12,127 --> 01:05:13,378
No?
572
01:05:13,962 --> 01:05:16,048
Hussein!
573
01:05:35,984 --> 01:05:39,738
Wait a minute, guys.
Let's talk this over like gentlemen!
574
01:05:42,324 --> 01:05:44,785
All right. You guys are with me, huh?
575
01:05:44,868 --> 01:05:46,829
Yeah, me. All right.
576
01:05:46,912 --> 01:05:50,916
Do me a favour. Tell him
we lived together for six months. Shit.
577
01:05:50,999 --> 01:05:53,334
All right, what are the rules?
578
01:06:17,817 --> 01:06:19,986
Right.
579
01:06:31,581 --> 01:06:33,583
I'm sorry about that.
580
01:06:36,335 --> 01:06:38,588
No, not the left one! No!
581
01:06:42,674 --> 01:06:45,553
No pain, no gain.
582
01:06:45,636 --> 01:06:47,722
Let me go!
583
01:06:54,270 --> 01:06:56,355
- No!
- Can we talk about this?
584
01:06:57,315 --> 01:06:59,400
Stop it!
585
01:06:59,901 --> 01:07:01,986
We have to do something!
586
01:07:02,694 --> 01:07:04,780
I am doing something.
587
01:07:25,926 --> 01:07:28,011
Joe, he's...
588
01:08:31,657 --> 01:08:35,910
- That was great!
- Great, huh? I could've gotten killed!
589
01:09:32,466 --> 01:09:37,013
This is the marriage dance. In this tribe,
the women, they choose the man.
590
01:09:37,388 --> 01:09:41,810
And then, according to the custom,
they will be together for life.
591
01:09:41,893 --> 01:09:44,270
They get all that from one dance?
592
01:09:44,354 --> 01:09:46,022
It's beautiful!
593
01:09:51,485 --> 01:09:56,281
Ralph, if you want to be one of us,
take off your shoes and socks.
594
01:09:57,116 --> 01:10:00,869
If you want to be one of us,
you must see with the eyes of your heart,
595
01:10:00,953 --> 01:10:03,747
- not with the eyes of your head.
- Gotcha, yeah.
596
01:10:03,831 --> 01:10:07,084
Your heart will never give you fear or pain -
597
01:10:07,167 --> 01:10:09,253
if you know our way.
598
01:10:11,420 --> 01:10:13,089
Ralph.
599
01:10:13,172 --> 01:10:16,510
No, thanks, pal. Keep your friggin' jewel.
600
01:10:16,593 --> 01:10:18,679
- No!
- Are you afraid?
601
01:10:19,596 --> 01:10:21,473
I just had my feet resoled.
602
01:10:21,765 --> 01:10:25,936
- What is the worst that can happen to you?
- I could wind up a Chicken McNugget.
603
01:10:26,019 --> 01:10:31,900
- What is the best that could happen to you?
- I could get through this and find the Jewel.
604
01:10:31,984 --> 01:10:34,068
It's your choice.
605
01:10:34,152 --> 01:10:36,237
Look down.
606
01:10:40,158 --> 01:10:41,826
Hot coals!
607
01:10:45,538 --> 01:10:47,665
I did it! I did it! I'm one of us!
608
01:11:15,193 --> 01:11:17,278
All right! Yeah!
609
01:11:42,929 --> 01:11:45,430
Your fears - they make you foolish.
610
01:11:52,479 --> 01:11:54,564
Go to her, Jack.
611
01:13:16,728 --> 01:13:20,690
- I'm sorry I got people shooting at you again.
- You kidding?
612
01:13:20,774 --> 01:13:24,110
We're the perfect couple
when we got people shooting at us.
613
01:13:24,194 --> 01:13:28,907
- Just the slow times I'm not too good at.
- I guess I just expect too much.
614
01:13:28,990 --> 01:13:31,075
Maybe we both expect too much.
615
01:13:34,287 --> 01:13:36,372
Oh, boy.
616
01:13:38,082 --> 01:13:40,501
Thank you for coming to Kadir with me.
617
01:14:08,570 --> 01:14:11,073
This valley is gift of the Nile.
618
01:14:19,706 --> 01:14:21,875
I've been away from here too long.
619
01:14:26,213 --> 01:14:29,883
You know, I'm getting to like this guy Joe.
He's growing on me.
620
01:14:29,967 --> 01:14:33,303
What do you say we cut him in
on this jewel, if we ever find it?
621
01:14:33,387 --> 01:14:35,472
Jack...
622
01:14:36,265 --> 01:14:38,350
We have the Jewel.
623
01:14:39,351 --> 01:14:41,520
What are you talking about? Where?
624
01:14:42,104 --> 01:14:44,398
Well, there.
625
01:14:48,068 --> 01:14:50,154
- What, Joe's got the Jewel?
- No.
626
01:14:51,612 --> 01:14:53,698
Joe is the Jewel.
627
01:14:57,368 --> 01:14:59,579
Joe is the Jewel of the Nile?
628
01:14:59,662 --> 01:15:03,833
He's a holy man. That's his religious title.
629
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,254
Joe is the Jewel.
630
01:15:16,137 --> 01:15:19,932
Why didn't you tell me the truth?
Why'd you keep it from me?
631
01:15:20,016 --> 01:15:23,144
Because I thought if you knew,
you wouldn't come with us.
632
01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:25,313
Maybe I would've surprised you.
633
01:15:26,189 --> 01:15:30,193
I think I've come through once or twice,
if I remember right.
634
01:15:30,276 --> 01:15:32,987
I'm sorry.
635
01:15:33,070 --> 01:15:35,990
You're right. You come through all the time.
636
01:15:43,580 --> 01:15:45,665
It's funny.
637
01:15:46,708 --> 01:15:49,211
I really thought we had a chance.
638
01:16:04,267 --> 01:16:06,269
Look! The train to Kadir!
639
01:16:06,353 --> 01:16:09,564
Come on, Jack.
Inshallah, we'll be there tonight.
640
01:16:09,648 --> 01:16:13,819
- What a lot of people!
- They are going to see the false redeemer.
641
01:16:13,902 --> 01:16:17,239
- Omar again, huh?
- We'll see about that.
642
01:16:53,190 --> 01:16:55,276
Shit!
643
01:18:05,178 --> 01:18:07,263
What are you doing?
644
01:18:07,722 --> 01:18:10,016
Come on!
645
01:18:10,266 --> 01:18:11,935
Jump!
646
01:18:15,605 --> 01:18:17,023
No!
647
01:18:47,886 --> 01:18:49,972
No! Hang on, Joan!
648
01:19:08,781 --> 01:19:10,450
Jack, watch out!
649
01:19:10,533 --> 01:19:12,535
It's...
650
01:19:40,980 --> 01:19:44,776
Guys, wait up! Come on, Humphrey.
Go, go, go!
651
01:19:54,202 --> 01:19:56,411
Do something!
652
01:19:56,495 --> 01:19:58,580
What do you want me to do?
653
01:21:31,337 --> 01:21:33,048
Colton!
654
01:21:34,633 --> 01:21:38,012
Your ass is grass,
and I'm a lawn mower, Colton!
655
01:21:38,095 --> 01:21:40,931
Colton, I'll get you! Colton, I'm on to ya!
656
01:22:14,380 --> 01:22:16,049
Colton.
657
01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:13,605
All right, yeah!
658
01:23:16,066 --> 01:23:19,319
All right! Let's go, come on.
Let's get out of here!
659
01:23:26,159 --> 01:23:28,244
Just-Joan, you're gre...
660
01:23:30,079 --> 01:23:31,956
Welcome.
661
01:23:32,039 --> 01:23:37,170
I don't usually travel by train,
but I had a small accident with my helicopter.
662
01:23:50,475 --> 01:23:52,769
May we reach Kadir in time.
663
01:24:15,624 --> 01:24:19,669
Once we get inside,
we must find the entrance to the catacombs.
664
01:24:20,545 --> 01:24:22,632
T-shirts! Buy T-shirts!
665
01:24:22,715 --> 01:24:27,178
Gimme the T-shirt.
I'll buy it, I'll buy it. Get outta here, will ya?
666
01:24:47,447 --> 01:24:51,326
You know, I really admire
your loyalty to each other.
667
01:24:52,035 --> 01:24:55,956
And I'm going to give you a chance
to be together to the very end.
668
01:24:56,039 --> 01:24:57,916
Well, not exactly.
669
01:24:57,999 --> 01:25:01,127
One will watch the other die.
670
01:25:06,258 --> 01:25:08,343
But which one?
671
01:25:10,011 --> 01:25:12,097
Rachid.
672
01:25:13,807 --> 01:25:17,060
- Is that the goat's blood?
- Yes.
673
01:25:17,144 --> 01:25:21,231
Very popular
with the inhabitants of these catacombs.
674
01:25:21,690 --> 01:25:25,943
- Rats.
- Yes. They eat until they get the last drop.
675
01:25:26,318 --> 01:25:29,363
But don't worry, Mr Colton.
You won't be alone.
676
01:25:30,156 --> 01:25:35,286
Rachid is now placing acid
that will eat through Miss Wilder's rope.
677
01:25:35,369 --> 01:25:38,289
What kind of sick pervert
would go to this trouble?
678
01:25:38,748 --> 01:25:40,750
- Why don't you shoot us?!
- Jack!
679
01:25:40,833 --> 01:25:44,754
What kind of demented psychopath
would even think of this?
680
01:25:44,962 --> 01:25:47,465
- The Savage Secret.
- What?
681
01:25:48,632 --> 01:25:50,509
Was my biggest seller.
682
01:25:54,764 --> 01:25:59,393
Think about this pit
as your last adventure, Joan Wilder.
683
01:26:00,853 --> 01:26:03,147
My people await me.
684
01:26:23,333 --> 01:26:26,878
What you talkin' about?
I work with professional people.
685
01:26:26,961 --> 01:26:30,966
You tell His Highness
the show starts with him or without him.
686
01:26:38,681 --> 01:26:42,852
Goddamn beanie convention.
Wind up goin' home with a rug.
687
01:26:42,936 --> 01:26:45,021
The entrance!
688
01:26:56,156 --> 01:26:58,450
Give me a red to the yellow. And cue!
689
01:27:00,327 --> 01:27:02,871
I said give me a red gel down there!
690
01:27:08,752 --> 01:27:11,797
And cue! For Gawd's sake, cue!
691
01:27:36,405 --> 01:27:39,408
Build it, build it softly.
And give me some smoke.
692
01:28:09,771 --> 01:28:14,192
That's good, that's good, that's very good.
Now, bring it up slowly.
693
01:29:31,393 --> 01:29:33,854
There are many rooms and many ways.
694
01:29:33,937 --> 01:29:36,148
You! You go this way.
695
01:29:36,231 --> 01:29:38,525
And, you! You go this way.
696
01:29:38,608 --> 01:29:41,068
And we: We go this way.
697
01:30:02,132 --> 01:30:04,216
Boy, it stinks in this place.
698
01:30:08,554 --> 01:30:11,182
What looks good, amigo?
699
01:30:11,265 --> 01:30:15,144
You go from this way. And... I go this way.
700
01:30:15,227 --> 01:30:17,313
All right.
701
01:30:18,314 --> 01:30:20,191
What a fruit loop.
702
01:30:21,734 --> 01:30:23,819
- How'd they get out?
- What?
703
01:30:23,903 --> 01:30:26,863
In The Savage Secret, how'd they get out?
704
01:30:28,698 --> 01:30:31,576
Jesse had a knife hidden in his boot.
705
01:30:32,869 --> 01:30:35,872
You wouldn't happen to have a knife,
would ya?
706
01:30:35,955 --> 01:30:39,000
- I'm not even wearing underwear.
- Great!
707
01:30:40,126 --> 01:30:42,212
No!
708
01:31:01,439 --> 01:31:04,150
We were good together,
weren't we, Joan Wilder?
709
01:31:04,234 --> 01:31:06,403
The best.
710
01:31:06,486 --> 01:31:09,406
- And we're gonna make it.
- Yeah.
711
01:31:12,742 --> 01:31:15,160
Oh, God. I love you, lady.
712
01:31:15,244 --> 01:31:17,162
I love you, Jack.
713
01:31:17,496 --> 01:31:19,581
Will you marry me?
714
01:31:20,874 --> 01:31:24,169
- Yes!
- Because I never want you leaving me again.
715
01:31:24,878 --> 01:31:28,883
You're not just saying that
because this is it, are you?
716
01:31:30,593 --> 01:31:34,639
I'm saying it
because I'm not afraid to say it any more.
717
01:31:48,902 --> 01:31:52,197
So where do you wanna go
on our honeymoon?
718
01:32:13,677 --> 01:32:17,848
Rats! Get out of here, you...
Goddamn rat farm! Go on!
719
01:32:18,223 --> 01:32:23,936
- Ralph! Get us out of here, will ya?
- Ah! And there's the biggest rat of all.
720
01:32:24,854 --> 01:32:26,939
Colton, look at you. You...
721
01:32:27,899 --> 01:32:30,526
You don't know how many nights
I dreamed of this.
722
01:32:30,610 --> 01:32:36,032
- Except your flesh was torn off your body.
- Ralph, please, just help us down.
723
01:32:36,115 --> 01:32:38,201
Jack! Hold on!
724
01:32:39,494 --> 01:32:42,246
Well, well, well, Colton.
725
01:32:42,330 --> 01:32:46,792
I think this calls for a renegotiation.
Don't you, Tarzan? Huh?
726
01:32:46,875 --> 01:32:50,128
This looks a little bit more like 70-30.
727
01:32:50,212 --> 01:32:54,717
- Or maybe even 80-20.
- Ralph, will ya get the rats off that rope?!
728
01:32:55,343 --> 01:32:59,639
- I don't go near rats, buddy.
- Ralph, do not be afraid.
729
01:33:01,099 --> 01:33:03,810
Remember the Sufi way: See with your heart.
730
01:33:04,435 --> 01:33:08,231
My heart sees rats, Pop.
Don't let this garb fool you.
731
01:33:08,314 --> 01:33:10,565
Come on, Colton. Where's the Jewel?
732
01:33:10,649 --> 01:33:14,986
Ralph, I am the Jewel. The Jewel of the Nile.
733
01:33:15,070 --> 01:33:18,198
And I'm a kumquat from Queens.
Pipe down, towel-head!
734
01:33:18,281 --> 01:33:21,451
- Come on, Ralph.
- Take the ladder and put it over the well.
735
01:33:21,535 --> 01:33:25,205
- Please, don't let us die!
- That's a good idea, Legs.
736
01:33:25,288 --> 01:33:30,710
I ain't gonna let you die, but I ain't movin' no
ladder until you come across with the rock!
737
01:33:44,474 --> 01:33:47,018
Lookin' more like 90-10! Huh, kumquat?
738
01:33:48,895 --> 01:33:52,733
- Did you get the ladder all right?
- Jack, help me unlock the Jewel.
739
01:33:52,816 --> 01:33:57,528
The Jewel? You mean you weren't
shittin' me? That guy really is the Jewel?
740
01:33:57,611 --> 01:34:00,740
Come on.
We still got time to stop Omar. Let's go.
741
01:34:01,866 --> 01:34:04,827
Ralph, that is not the Sufi way.
742
01:34:04,910 --> 01:34:10,124
I don't know what got into me, Jewels. Every
time I'm around this guy he makes me crazy.
743
01:34:10,207 --> 01:34:14,420
Come on. Tell him to cut me down, Jewels.
Come on, huh?
744
01:34:59,590 --> 01:35:03,302
Don't fuck around with the equipment!
Bloody woman!
745
01:35:27,409 --> 01:35:29,494
Here they come, Jack.
746
01:35:51,224 --> 01:35:56,395
Oh, my God. Look at this. Looks like
Our Lady of Mount Palmer schoolyard.
747
01:35:57,896 --> 01:35:59,815
Hold it!
748
01:36:04,111 --> 01:36:06,822
Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through.
749
01:36:08,449 --> 01:36:10,117
Oh, Rachid.
750
01:36:10,200 --> 01:36:14,246
How ya doin'? Let's talk this over
before you butcher me alive.
751
01:36:14,329 --> 01:36:16,832
What are you getting so steamed about?
752
01:36:19,625 --> 01:36:22,170
Look at that. It worked!
753
01:38:02,519 --> 01:38:04,688
Get over the wall. Come on!
754
01:38:05,063 --> 01:38:07,149
Get goin'.
755
01:38:12,112 --> 01:38:14,197
Keep going.
756
01:38:39,972 --> 01:38:43,434
I knew we'd hook up again, Colton. Get it?
757
01:38:46,187 --> 01:38:48,314
I swear to God!
758
01:38:48,397 --> 01:38:50,483
My right hand to God!
759
01:38:50,566 --> 01:38:52,651
Come on!
760
01:39:33,566 --> 01:39:38,780
I am dead, Miss Wilder.
All that will be written for Omar is an epitaph.
761
01:39:39,155 --> 01:39:41,241
But I will not be alone.
762
01:39:50,916 --> 01:39:53,460
Who is going to save you now?
763
01:39:56,131 --> 01:39:57,590
Who?
764
01:40:38,714 --> 01:40:40,799
Well, you got your story.
765
01:40:41,759 --> 01:40:43,844
I got a lot more than that.
766
01:41:07,950 --> 01:41:09,744
You are married!
767
01:41:39,649 --> 01:41:42,360
Always a bridesmaid, never the bride.
768
01:41:42,443 --> 01:41:44,945
As usual, it's zilch for poor Ralphie.
769
01:41:47,864 --> 01:41:49,950
You are Sufi.
770
01:41:52,035 --> 01:41:54,121
Keep it always.
771
01:41:55,497 --> 01:41:57,582
Guys!
772
01:41:59,960 --> 01:42:02,046
Sufis rule!
773
01:45:46,891 --> 01:45:49,394
Subtitles by Visiontext
774
01:45:50,561 --> 01:45:52,647
ENGLISH
61968
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