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1
00:00:01,770 --> 00:00:03,414
Hey, do you have
any of that, um,
2
00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:04,915
poisonous deodorant in your bag?
3
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,192
I do, but if you're just
gonna throw it away,
4
00:00:06,216 --> 00:00:07,676
I'll give you the cheap stuff.
5
00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:09,195
I stayed at Tanzy's last night,
6
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:11,589
and I don't have time to go
home and shower before work.
7
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:12,772
Wait, wait, wait.
8
00:00:12,797 --> 00:00:14,257
Are we on the walk
of shame right now?
9
00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:15,275
You know what? We are.
10
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:16,684
Don't get excited. It's casual.
11
00:00:16,708 --> 00:00:18,353
Guys, will you wait for me?
12
00:00:18,376 --> 00:00:20,355
I have a pebble in my shoe.
13
00:00:20,379 --> 00:00:22,099
Oh, my God!
14
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,783
Calm down. What's
happening? Wow.
15
00:00:23,807 --> 00:00:26,211
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
16
00:00:26,236 --> 00:00:27,454
I just got flashed!
17
00:00:27,478 --> 00:00:28,713
What, really? Is
this your first one?
18
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:31,942
That man in the tan trench...
19
00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:33,610
He just showed
me his ding-a-ling.
20
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:34,719
Oh. What is he working with?
21
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,222
I don't know! I
didn't look at it.
22
00:00:36,246 --> 00:00:37,496
I think he might be European.
23
00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:39,304
Oh. Oh. Okay.
24
00:00:43,902 --> 00:00:47,048
I mean, I just assumed that
Brian would want me to plan it.
25
00:00:47,073 --> 00:00:48,734
It's Lila's first birthday
without her mother.
26
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,643
Plus, I have that
relationship with Party City.
27
00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:52,054
Well, maybe he
doesn't want a lecture
28
00:00:52,078 --> 00:00:55,222
on how piñatas are
culturally insensitive.
29
00:00:55,246 --> 00:00:57,558
I mean, it's just papier-mâché
with candy up the butt.
30
00:00:57,582 --> 00:00:59,277
Yeah, well, to you it is.
31
00:00:59,301 --> 00:01:02,247
Are my birthday parties bad?
32
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:03,731
There's too much cheese.
33
00:01:03,756 --> 00:01:05,900
I would never serve
cheese. It sweats.
34
00:01:05,924 --> 00:01:07,753
No, not you. Jodie.
Um, um, Donna.
35
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:09,070
Things are blowing up here.
36
00:01:09,094 --> 00:01:11,331
Okay, and do you think
that this flan looks like
37
00:01:11,355 --> 00:01:12,757
it's ready to just
go close the show?
38
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,242
I-I'm not in charge of dyeing
the fake food to perfection.
39
00:01:15,266 --> 00:01:16,596
That's above my pay grade.
40
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:18,489
You know, maybe I'm being
too sensitive about the party.
41
00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:19,599
Here we go.
42
00:01:19,623 --> 00:01:21,825
Honey caramel
hair spray. Have at it.
43
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:23,176
I think it's just
because I'm in a mood
44
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,662
because I gained four
pounds since last week.
45
00:01:24,686 --> 00:01:26,496
No, you're gorgeous. Oh!
46
00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:27,680
I was so close
to my goal weight.
47
00:01:27,704 --> 00:01:29,349
I had thigh gap and everything.
48
00:01:29,373 --> 00:01:30,835
That's too much.
You're gorgeous.
49
00:01:30,859 --> 00:01:32,944
And now my affair with
Matt is put off till TBD.
50
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,688
I can't even fit
into the leggings
51
00:01:34,712 --> 00:01:36,264
I want him to rip off of me
and throw across the room
52
00:01:36,287 --> 00:01:37,598
in reckless abandon.
53
00:01:37,622 --> 00:01:40,286
Um, what are you getting
Lila for her birthday?
54
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:41,603
Can I piggyback on your gift?
55
00:01:41,627 --> 00:01:43,456
Oh, yeah, sure. No,
I got her this great,
56
00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:44,515
fun, educational...
57
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:45,698
Oh, my God, no. Stop, stop.
58
00:01:45,722 --> 00:01:47,126
I want her to like
me. Never mind.
59
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,686
Ugh! I've gotta go.
60
00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:50,688
I wrote "thigh gap"
on my calendar.
61
00:01:50,712 --> 00:01:53,799
Listen, I know that you
know, but I just have to say,
62
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,709
please don't tell anybody
about this thing with Matt,
63
00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:56,968
even though it's TBD.
64
00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:57,953
Who am I gonna tell?
65
00:01:57,977 --> 00:02:00,703
Come on. Bye.
66
00:02:05,242 --> 00:02:07,370
Hello?
67
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:09,038
Coleen?
68
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,316
It's Devon.
69
00:02:10,340 --> 00:02:13,894
Is, um... Is Coleen...
Is she there?
70
00:02:13,918 --> 00:02:15,728
Uh, I think you have
the wrong number.
71
00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:18,716
Well, it's in my contacts,
so maybe you're...
72
00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:20,141
Maybe you're at
the wrong number.
73
00:02:20,165 --> 00:02:21,993
I just got this phone
for my 16th birthday.
74
00:02:22,018 --> 00:02:25,406
Well, happy birthday. You
got my dead friend's number.
75
00:02:25,430 --> 00:02:26,556
Oh, yuck.
76
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,391
Yeah. Yeah, "yuck" is right.
77
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:29,484
I am going to figure this out,
78
00:02:29,508 --> 00:02:30,743
and I'm gonna
call you right back.
79
00:02:30,768 --> 00:02:31,836
Why?
80
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,322
Because you have my
dead friend's number.
81
00:02:34,346 --> 00:02:36,358
Oh, yeah. I gave up the plan.
82
00:02:36,382 --> 00:02:37,567
You gave up the plan?
83
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:38,752
What is wrong with you?
84
00:02:38,776 --> 00:02:41,070
Well, she's not exactly
using it anymore, is she?
85
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,573
Well, I'm using it.
86
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:43,757
I mean, I-I-I call and
leave her messages.
87
00:02:43,781 --> 00:02:45,332
I update her on everything.
88
00:02:45,356 --> 00:02:46,519
I talk smack with her.
89
00:02:46,543 --> 00:02:49,003
She loves it. Can
you please get it back?
90
00:02:49,027 --> 00:02:51,432
Can't you just try talking up to
the heavens like everyone else?
91
00:02:51,456 --> 00:02:53,766
Oh, grow up, Brian!
There's nobody up there!
92
00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:56,311
I need a voicemail,
and I need a beep.
93
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:01,592
Flax twist? Mm.
94
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,350
No, flax is not my thing.
95
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,353
But you have it. Oh, for me?
96
00:03:05,377 --> 00:03:06,280
Little bit... Little...
97
00:03:06,304 --> 00:03:08,471
Eat the damn dirt stick!
98
00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:13,878
You know, that could
have gone either way.
99
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,530
There was a scenario where
he wanted to be involved in this,
100
00:03:15,554 --> 00:03:16,622
by the way. No.
101
00:03:16,646 --> 00:03:18,292
Rudy would never stay.
102
00:03:18,316 --> 00:03:20,443
He hates the human condition.
103
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,111
You know, I did, too.
104
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:25,557
But you're the first person who
hasn't disgusted me in so long.
105
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,300
Babe! It's true.
106
00:03:27,324 --> 00:03:28,728
Oh! Thank you.
107
00:03:28,752 --> 00:03:30,918
Oh, hang on.
108
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:33,590
Oh, shoot. What?
109
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,792
I have to help my friend
110
00:03:34,816 --> 00:03:35,901
with his kid's
birthday party tonight.
111
00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:38,052
What? You were
supposed to come over.
112
00:03:38,076 --> 00:03:39,979
I know. I forgot. I have
the apartment to myself.
113
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,998
It's really rare that
all seven roommates
114
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,484
are out at the same time.
115
00:03:43,508 --> 00:03:45,393
Okay, Snow White,
I'll come after.
116
00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:46,394
Okay. Okay.
117
00:03:46,418 --> 00:03:47,675
Cool.
118
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,918
Um...
119
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,069
abduction is when you pull
towards the midline of the body.
120
00:03:58,097 --> 00:03:59,483
Nope. Away.
121
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,426
You pull away from the midline.
122
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,078
I'm so sorry. I'm just... I'm...
123
00:04:03,102 --> 00:04:05,004
I'm really in my head today.
124
00:04:05,028 --> 00:04:06,270
What's wrong?
125
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,268
It's kind of you to pretend that
I'm not wearing an ankle sock
126
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:12,627
and a crew sock that I've pushed
down to look like an ankle sock.
127
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:15,832
Never would have noticed.
128
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,016
It's just... It's
embarrassing, you know?
129
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,853
I mean, you're... You're
this perfect woman,
130
00:04:19,877 --> 00:04:21,838
and everything about
you is so beautiful,
131
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,949
and I can't even find two
socks that go together.
132
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:26,285
You should see my
room. It is so unorganized.
133
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,603
You know, I got so many
cool clothes for Christmas.
134
00:04:28,627 --> 00:04:29,771
I can't find any of them.
135
00:04:29,795 --> 00:04:31,956
I love organizing.
136
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,125
I mean, I could come
over and help you...
137
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,536
if you want, of course.
138
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,112
Really? You... I mean,
you'd do that for me?
139
00:04:37,136 --> 00:04:38,963
Well, yeah. Well, I
mean, I have a project
140
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,466
that just fell through,
so I have the time.
141
00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:41,875
Plus, I can get all the stuff.
142
00:04:41,899 --> 00:04:43,617
I have a relationship
with Storage Surplus, so...
143
00:04:43,641 --> 00:04:46,235
Wow. Lucky Storage Surplus.
144
00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:52,478
Hey, Devon.
145
00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:54,795
It's Amy from before...
146
00:04:54,819 --> 00:04:56,540
The one with the dead friend.
147
00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:58,817
So, listen, Coleen
was my best friend,
148
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:01,045
and I've been calling
this number every day
149
00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:03,838
for the past 20 years, and
even though she's gone now,
150
00:05:03,862 --> 00:05:05,716
I still... I still call
her, you know,
151
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,660
to keep her in the loop
and update her on things,
152
00:05:07,684 --> 00:05:10,812
and it's kind of my way
of... Of keeping her alive.
153
00:05:10,836 --> 00:05:12,723
I mean, it's cheesy. I-I know.
154
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:13,906
And I'm... I'm...
I'm ridiculous.
155
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:16,742
But I just... I would
love to get this number.
156
00:05:16,766 --> 00:05:17,819
I would love to keep
this number, you know?
157
00:05:17,843 --> 00:05:19,913
I'm sure you can understand.
158
00:05:19,937 --> 00:05:22,749
Hey, so, I-I know
that you kids today
159
00:05:22,773 --> 00:05:24,918
probably don't, you know,
check your voicemail.
160
00:05:24,942 --> 00:05:26,920
So I'm just leaving this,
uh, message to let you know
161
00:05:26,944 --> 00:05:28,922
that I'm gonna... I'm
gonna just shoot you a text.
162
00:05:28,946 --> 00:05:30,574
You didn't respond to my text,
163
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,685
but I saw the bubble,
so I know you got it.
164
00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:35,579
Um... what's going
on here, Devon?
165
00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,004
Hey, Devon.
166
00:05:37,028 --> 00:05:37,764
Hey, Devon.
167
00:05:37,788 --> 00:05:39,082
Hey, Devon.
168
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,783
Hey, Devon. It's Amy.
169
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,086
Uh, look, you really
don't want this number.
170
00:05:42,110 --> 00:05:45,012
I mean, Coleen was
very nice to telemarketers.
171
00:05:45,036 --> 00:05:46,531
Hey. It's Amy.
172
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:47,774
Hey, Devon.
173
00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:50,518
What up, girrrrrl?!
174
00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:52,187
What else?
175
00:05:52,211 --> 00:05:55,023
She was the kind of friend that
even if you got in a huge fight,
176
00:05:55,047 --> 00:05:56,783
she wouldn't let you
leave the house in an outfit
177
00:05:56,807 --> 00:05:58,209
that made you look like trash.
178
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,620
I mean, if you have one
friend like that... Hon?
179
00:06:00,644 --> 00:06:02,197
In your entire life...
You doing okay?
180
00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:03,548
Just go! Go, go, go.
181
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,459
No, no, no. Where are you going?
182
00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:07,035
Mailbox is full.
183
00:06:07,059 --> 00:06:08,701
Oh, come on.
184
00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:13,617
Can you please just help me
185
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,226
get Col's number back
from this random teenager?
186
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,637
I know it's hard,
187
00:06:16,661 --> 00:06:19,564
but maybe you should think
about letting the number go?
188
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:21,567
Just call Jodie or Sarah.
189
00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:24,644
No. Th... I need to talk
about them, and you.
190
00:06:24,668 --> 00:06:25,887
Come on, Henry.
191
00:06:25,911 --> 00:06:27,480
Can't one of them help
you get the number back?
192
00:06:27,504 --> 00:06:28,740
Sarah can be terrifying
when she wants to be.
193
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,576
They don't know
that I call her, okay?
194
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,725
I don't want them copying me.
195
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,394
Can't you just, like,
196
00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:35,413
call Devon and
offer her some money
197
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,399
or beer or molly?
198
00:06:37,423 --> 00:06:40,401
Well, I'm not gonna call a
teen girl and offer her drugs.
199
00:06:40,425 --> 00:06:41,586
You see the
problem there, right?
200
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,422
Yeah, yeah, yes. Fine, fine.
201
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,423
You know what? I'll
just have Donna do it.
202
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,317
It'll give her someone
new to cyber-stalk.
203
00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:49,661
She's run out of Kardashians.
204
00:06:52,862 --> 00:06:54,581
Look what I got
at Storage Surplus.
205
00:06:54,605 --> 00:06:57,603
Sock clips. They'll
never be apart again.
206
00:06:57,627 --> 00:07:00,422
So, what do you say
207
00:07:00,446 --> 00:07:03,257
we spice up our
sexy times tonight?
208
00:07:03,281 --> 00:07:05,502
Is it Tuesday already?
209
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:09,427
Maybe we try something
different this week.
210
00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:14,269
Like moving sex to Wednesdays?
211
00:07:14,293 --> 00:07:16,288
I bowl on Wednesdays.
212
00:07:16,312 --> 00:07:18,014
Oh, he's her stepbrother.
213
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,184
They're not related
by blood, so it's okay.
214
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:23,444
Stepsibling genre has
really cornered the market.
215
00:07:23,468 --> 00:07:24,855
Alright. This is
my favorite part.
216
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,130
Watch.
217
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,874
Aren't you supposed
to be in school?
218
00:07:27,898 --> 00:07:28,800
Now, why did he
eat all of her cereal?
219
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,377
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!
220
00:07:30,401 --> 00:07:32,879
Oh, yeah. Now, that's my type.
221
00:07:32,903 --> 00:07:34,213
She's blond.
222
00:07:34,237 --> 00:07:36,199
Natural one.
223
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,869
She's home. Now
you're in trouble.
224
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:39,961
Ugh. Gross.
225
00:07:39,985 --> 00:07:42,814
I mean, no way she's
the mom. She's 25.
226
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:46,058
I'm gonna put... put this away
227
00:07:46,082 --> 00:07:48,175
in the... bathroom.
228
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:51,824
Oh, yeah. Eat
that cereal, blondie.
229
00:07:51,848 --> 00:07:55,240
The story doesn't make sense!
230
00:08:01,507 --> 00:08:03,334
Oh, and the, uh,
231
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,245
"So sorry about
your wife, Brian."
232
00:08:05,269 --> 00:08:07,079
Ugh. The head tilt. Yeah.
233
00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:08,990
"Mm. Oh, Sarah,
234
00:08:09,014 --> 00:08:11,235
how are you holding up
since the divorce, huh?"
235
00:08:11,259 --> 00:08:12,660
Ooh. The sympathetic pout.
236
00:08:12,684 --> 00:08:14,237
Mm-hmm. Makes me violent. Yeah.
237
00:08:14,262 --> 00:08:16,831
Hey, Brian, why didn't you
ask Jodie to help you with this?
238
00:08:16,855 --> 00:08:18,016
I'll tell you what. Here's
the deal with Jodie...
239
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,244
She's a little much
when it comes to parties.
240
00:08:20,268 --> 00:08:21,687
No. Yeah.
241
00:08:21,711 --> 00:08:23,004
You know, she always
wants to have a theme. Mm.
242
00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:24,430
I mean, pretty much this
year, the theme is, uh,
243
00:08:24,454 --> 00:08:26,415
"My wife died.
Here's a goodie bag."
244
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:27,860
Yeah. Good move.
245
00:08:27,884 --> 00:08:29,920
Are we all done here?
'Cause if we are, I'm gonna...
246
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,512
I'm gonna take
off, if that's okay.
247
00:08:31,536 --> 00:08:32,679
Yeah. Go have a night.
248
00:08:32,703 --> 00:08:35,015
Alright. I'll be fine.
249
00:08:35,039 --> 00:08:36,109
Um, okay.
250
00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:37,684
Brian, what are these?
251
00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:39,779
Oh, this is my sad attempt
252
00:08:39,803 --> 00:08:41,706
at Coleen's Rice
Krispie snowmen.
253
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:42,948
She had them on the party list.
254
00:08:42,972 --> 00:08:44,543
Wasn't planning on
having me make them,
255
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,620
but I think they turned
out okay, though, right?
256
00:08:46,644 --> 00:08:49,105
I think they're beautiful.
257
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,716
But why don't we just
give them a zhuzh?
258
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:53,368
Just like a little... Uh...
259
00:08:53,392 --> 00:08:55,611
They don't look so bad.
260
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:58,130
Don't want to put zhuzh
on top of my zhuzh.
261
00:08:58,154 --> 00:08:59,746
Over-zhuzh 'em.
262
00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:07,548
Alrighty. Let's fix this.
263
00:09:07,572 --> 00:09:10,573
That girl is so needy.
264
00:09:13,671 --> 00:09:17,317
Alright! This is where
the magic happens.
265
00:09:17,341 --> 00:09:19,325
Not really.
266
00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:22,581
I love it.
267
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:23,807
Yeah.
268
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:26,067
Oh! You're so cute!
269
00:09:26,091 --> 00:09:28,662
Oh, yeah. That...
That's at my uncle's gym.
270
00:09:28,686 --> 00:09:30,254
Kind of runs in the family.
271
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,815
Oh!
272
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,782
So, you ready to see it?
273
00:09:38,437 --> 00:09:40,264
The socks. Yeah.
274
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,508
Yes. Yeah. Okay.
275
00:09:41,532 --> 00:09:44,251
They're just... right in here.
276
00:09:44,275 --> 00:09:45,511
Oh. Fun. Yeah.
277
00:09:45,536 --> 00:09:47,605
There's a lot of orphans
in there, so sorry.
278
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,004
I got you. Okay.
279
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:55,635
Alright. Oh.
280
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,342
Um...
281
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,975
Okay. Okay.
282
00:10:03,961 --> 00:10:05,849
Oh, I, uh...
283
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,442
I thought these were fun.
284
00:10:07,466 --> 00:10:08,460
Oh, these are so much fun!
285
00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,519
Aren't they fun?! Yes!
286
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,447
Look at these.
287
00:10:12,471 --> 00:10:13,631
So... These are amazing.
288
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:14,966
Do you just clip them together?
289
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:17,693
Yeah, they're little...
But they're little couples.
290
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,211
That's perfect.
291
00:10:19,235 --> 00:10:20,547
Hand me your tube socks.
292
00:10:20,571 --> 00:10:23,216
Oh. Uh, okay. Um...
293
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,217
There's one.
294
00:10:25,241 --> 00:10:27,145
And there's two.
295
00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,003
Um...
296
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:34,302
Give me your dress socks.
297
00:10:34,326 --> 00:10:36,229
Um... oh, there's a good one.
298
00:10:36,253 --> 00:10:37,380
Thanks.
299
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,071
Um, oh. Alright.
300
00:10:42,927 --> 00:10:44,888
I'm four pounds away
from my goal weight.
301
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,222
No, no, no, no. You're perfect.
302
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,815
Look at your muscle tone.
303
00:10:47,838 --> 00:10:49,558
Those curtsy lunges you've been
doing have really been working.
304
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:50,836
Oh!
305
00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:52,729
If I had known this was gonna
happen, I would have, uh,
306
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,746
worn better underwear.
307
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:56,171
Just gonna do
something real quick.
308
00:10:59,109 --> 00:11:00,602
Nice.
309
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:02,014
Okay. You're about
to burn a lot of calories,
310
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:04,597
so make sure you
drink a lot of water today.
311
00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:14,029
Oh. Oh!
312
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:18,201
Oh! Oh! Okay.
313
00:11:26,135 --> 00:11:29,148
Donna, are you sure
this is the right place?
314
00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:30,450
Just trust me.
315
00:11:30,474 --> 00:11:34,361
That 5-foot-3-inches
of ginger is there.
316
00:11:34,385 --> 00:11:35,903
Bingo.
317
00:11:37,221 --> 00:11:38,442
Gotcha, Red.
318
00:11:38,466 --> 00:11:40,990
Apology accepted.
319
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:45,539
Devon.
320
00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:47,133
We need to talk.
321
00:11:47,157 --> 00:11:49,286
Um, okay. Who are you?
322
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,544
Are you someone's mom?
323
00:11:50,568 --> 00:11:52,063
What, is that supposed
to be an insult?
324
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,624
No. I'm Amy, the one with the
dead friend whose number you stole.
325
00:11:54,648 --> 00:11:55,883
Okay, you might
recognize my voice
326
00:11:55,907 --> 00:11:57,759
from the 100
messages I left you.
327
00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:59,312
So, are you, like, stalking me?
328
00:11:59,336 --> 00:12:00,888
Oh, get over yourself, Devon.
329
00:12:00,912 --> 00:12:03,482
No. I had my
assistant stalk you.
330
00:12:03,506 --> 00:12:07,578
Look... this number
means a lot to me,
331
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,806
so what's it gonna take?
332
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,308
I feel bad. I really
want to help you.
333
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,493
Great.
334
00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:15,068
Then we're done here. Let's go.
335
00:12:15,092 --> 00:12:16,495
There's a... There's a
cellphone kiosk at the mall.
336
00:12:16,519 --> 00:12:17,755
We can swap it out, and
then we can celebrate
337
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,331
with a chair massage after.
338
00:12:19,355 --> 00:12:20,667
I can't. I'm sorry.
339
00:12:20,691 --> 00:12:22,836
I just gave my number
to this really hot guy,
340
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:25,413
and he hasn't
called me yet, so...
341
00:12:25,437 --> 00:12:26,822
Okay, how long has it been?
342
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:28,750
Six days. Six days?
343
00:12:28,774 --> 00:12:30,083
You're living in a
dreamworld, honey.
344
00:12:30,107 --> 00:12:32,495
If he hasn't called you
by now, he's not gonna.
345
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,254
You don't know Kyle.
He's in the Marines.
346
00:12:34,278 --> 00:12:35,941
He's busy.
347
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:38,000
Still in play! Marines
or not, I'm pretty sure
348
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,927
if you like someone, you
make time to call them.
349
00:12:39,951 --> 00:12:42,780
Okay. Right, ladies? You
can back me up on this.
350
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,524
These are terrible friends.
You have terrible friends.
351
00:12:45,548 --> 00:12:47,844
Kyle's in the Marines!
He's busy, okay?
352
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,288
You believe that. Wow, wow, wow.
353
00:12:49,312 --> 00:12:51,956
Can I help you, ma'am?
Oh, that's sad. I'm going.
354
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,866
I am... I'm going.
But here's the thing...
355
00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:56,519
He's never going
to call you, okay?
356
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,687
Never.
357
00:12:57,711 --> 00:12:59,298
So why don't you
do yourself a favor
358
00:12:59,322 --> 00:13:00,615
and grow up, gingerbread?
359
00:13:00,639 --> 00:13:02,634
Ma'am. "Ma'am," yourself.
360
00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,490
I'm going. Thank you.
361
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:09,548
Oh, my God. You know, you
catch more flies with honey.
362
00:13:09,572 --> 00:13:11,475
I know, I know. My...
My inner bully came out.
363
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,000
Just shut up, Donna.
364
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,484
Gifts in the gift pile.
365
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,320
Babies in the baby pile outside.
366
00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:23,547
Oh. Jodie's educational gift.
367
00:13:23,571 --> 00:13:25,596
Let's go outside.
368
00:13:26,407 --> 00:13:27,975
Okay.
369
00:13:27,999 --> 00:13:29,735
I warned those kids not to
do flips on the mini-tramp.
370
00:13:29,759 --> 00:13:31,495
Otherwise, they're gonna
spend the rest of their lives
371
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,556
hooked up to machines.
372
00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:34,073
Happy Lila's birthday.
373
00:13:34,097 --> 00:13:36,650
Happy Lila's birthday!
374
00:13:36,674 --> 00:13:39,229
Hey. Hey, green
shirt, put that down.
375
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,397
I gotta go back outside.
376
00:13:40,421 --> 00:13:41,489
Those balls are
a choking hazard.
377
00:13:41,513 --> 00:13:42,823
Yeah. You've always
been against 'em.
378
00:13:42,847 --> 00:13:46,326
Happy Lila's birthday!
379
00:13:46,350 --> 00:13:47,662
I need you.
380
00:13:47,686 --> 00:13:49,072
Okay. I don't think
your gift is big enough.
381
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,514
- Where's Dan?
- Work emergency.
382
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,241
Oh, my God. Kidding.
God, I know he hates us.
383
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:55,542
Something amazing happened,
and now I'm freaking out!
384
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,028
What, what, what, what, what?
385
00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:03,419
I had sex with Matt.
386
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:04,528
What?!
387
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,605
Oh, my God. Your affair is real.
388
00:14:06,629 --> 00:14:08,033
I thought you were just
a desperate housewife.
389
00:14:08,057 --> 00:14:10,518
Wait. Why are you surprised?
I said I was gonna do it.
390
00:14:10,542 --> 00:14:11,595
I say I'm gonna kill
myself every day.
391
00:14:11,619 --> 00:14:13,019
I don't actually do it.
392
00:14:13,043 --> 00:14:14,614
Now... was it good?
393
00:14:14,638 --> 00:14:17,542
Like... "The Time
Traveler's Wife."
394
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:18,710
It was magical!
395
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:19,786
I don't read.
396
00:14:19,809 --> 00:14:21,620
Can you tell me if
he gave me herpes?
397
00:14:21,644 --> 00:14:22,938
I'm sorry. What? What?
What? It's only been an hour.
398
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,716
How would I know
what herpes looks like?
399
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:25,792
Well, because you went
on the ski trip senior year.
400
00:14:25,816 --> 00:14:27,219
I thought everybody got herpes.
401
00:14:27,243 --> 00:14:28,369
No. It's a miracle I dodged it.
402
00:14:28,393 --> 00:14:30,054
Can you? No. I
gotta go get Sarah.
403
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,889
I gotta go get Sarah. She's an
actual doctor. No, no, no, no, no! No.
404
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:32,557
Please, no.
405
00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:33,950
She's gonna be so upset,
406
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,876
and I can't take that
on top of the herpes.
407
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:37,544
Oh, God. Okay, no, I'm...
I'm... No, it could just be fleas!
408
00:14:37,568 --> 00:14:39,547
I'm getting her.
I'm getting her.
409
00:14:39,571 --> 00:14:41,504
Ooh. Au naturel.
410
00:14:42,573 --> 00:14:43,717
Why would you have herpes?
411
00:14:43,741 --> 00:14:46,145
Who would have given you herpes?
412
00:14:46,169 --> 00:14:47,980
Toilet seat. Dan.
413
00:14:48,004 --> 00:14:51,392
He's very into stepsiblings
with parents their same age,
414
00:14:51,415 --> 00:14:52,393
and he likes blondes.
415
00:14:52,417 --> 00:14:54,216
Okay. Nice, right?
416
00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:04,451
What are you guys
talking about? Hmm?
417
00:15:05,188 --> 00:15:07,317
Amy? What, what?
418
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,260
Fine.
419
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,004
I slept with Matt.
420
00:15:11,028 --> 00:15:13,080
But you can't be mad, because
you love me unconditionally. Jodie!
421
00:15:13,104 --> 00:15:14,599
- Not now!
- Not a good time!
422
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:16,158
- Come on in.
- We need our coats. The red one.
423
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:19,495
Okay. Alright. We need the,
um... the red, red, puffy vest.
424
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:20,996
There she is.
425
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,514
Okay.
426
00:15:22,538 --> 00:15:24,183
And my wife's is
the purple wool.
427
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:25,350
Yeah. Alright, alright, alright.
428
00:15:25,375 --> 00:15:26,686
And his wife had
the purple wool...
429
00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:29,447
Purple wo... No,
yeah. There it is. Great.
430
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,554
Suits you.
431
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,100
Uh, the door... The
door doesn't lock.
432
00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:36,269
Well, they took the locks
off after they had the baby.
433
00:15:36,293 --> 00:15:38,197
Really? I did the opposite.
434
00:15:38,221 --> 00:15:40,147
So, what do you think?
435
00:15:41,557 --> 00:15:43,774
Do I have something
communicable?
436
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,446
Well, let's see.
437
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:47,039
I think that it's
Lila's birthday.
438
00:15:47,063 --> 00:15:48,783
Her mother, our
best friend, is gone,
439
00:15:48,807 --> 00:15:51,284
and that I've been up all night
with Brian, planning this party,
440
00:15:51,308 --> 00:15:53,212
and now you're sitting
here with your bare ass
441
00:15:53,236 --> 00:15:54,621
on strangers' coats
442
00:15:54,645 --> 00:15:56,365
because you couldn't
keep it in your pants, Jodie.
443
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,625
That's what I think.
444
00:15:57,649 --> 00:16:00,537
You helped plan
this party with Brian?
445
00:16:00,561 --> 00:16:03,315
That's what you got
out of what I just said?
446
00:16:03,339 --> 00:16:04,982
And, yes, he called me.
447
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,894
Then it is Brian's fault that
I had the affair with Matt,
448
00:16:07,918 --> 00:16:09,546
because if he had called
me to help plan the party,
449
00:16:09,570 --> 00:16:10,687
I wouldn't have
ended up at Matt's.
450
00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:11,822
Yeah. That makes sense.
451
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,825
I really respect the
effort, but, um, no.
452
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:15,902
That's a reach,
Jodie. Such a reach.
453
00:16:15,926 --> 00:16:18,500
It is your fault that
you have herpes.
454
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:22,096
I have herpes?
455
00:16:23,267 --> 00:16:24,691
I'm not telling you.
456
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,750
Occupied!
457
00:16:30,774 --> 00:16:33,253
This party's dope.
Lila looks happy.
458
00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:35,663
Are you doing alright?
Yeah, no, I'm doing great.
459
00:16:35,687 --> 00:16:37,740
Yeah. I thought I was
gonna be a puddle today,
460
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,165
but, uh, no, I'm fine.
461
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:41,001
Yeah. That's awesome.
I'm fine, bud. Yeah.
462
00:16:41,025 --> 00:16:41,852
Mama.
463
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:42,854
Where Mama?
464
00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:45,586
Mama's not here,
but she loves Lila.
465
00:16:46,789 --> 00:16:49,360
That's what the
grief book said to say.
466
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,092
Mm.
467
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:54,514
It's okay to cry, man.
468
00:16:54,538 --> 00:16:56,683
It's alright. I got it. I don't.
469
00:16:56,707 --> 00:16:59,967
Oh. Let it out,
buddy. Let it out.
470
00:17:01,879 --> 00:17:04,547
No, no. That's... You
don't need to do that.
471
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:08,270
Great, we set off the babies.
472
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:10,530
Hmm.
473
00:17:10,555 --> 00:17:12,532
Well, this is why I
don't wear white jackets.
474
00:17:12,557 --> 00:17:13,551
I already got lipstick on it.
475
00:17:13,576 --> 00:17:16,328
Sarah, you are
withholding a diagnosis.
476
00:17:16,353 --> 00:17:18,114
You took an oath.
477
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:19,746
So did you.
478
00:17:22,585 --> 00:17:24,395
It's not herpes. Oh!
479
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,382
It's an allergic reaction to
dioxide in an off-brand soap.
480
00:17:28,405 --> 00:17:30,568
You guys! It must
be Matt's 3-in-1
481
00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:32,478
shampoo, conditioner,
and body wash!
482
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:33,797
I got sensitive skin.
483
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,315
Oh, my God! I said occupied!
484
00:17:35,338 --> 00:17:37,317
Sarah, what the hell?
485
00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:38,410
Tanzy?
486
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,153
Why is this lady's crotch out?
487
00:17:40,176 --> 00:17:41,246
Oh, she's not a lady.
488
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,654
Lady? That must feel good.
489
00:17:42,679 --> 00:17:44,583
I'm Jodie. Love your name.
490
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:46,585
Amy. Beautiful face you have.
491
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:47,660
Well, thank you.
492
00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:48,961
How did you know where I was?
493
00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:51,647
Brian posted a picture on
Instagram and tagged you.
494
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:53,333
Yeah. Do not mess
with Instagram.
495
00:17:53,356 --> 00:17:54,741
It will blow your spot right up.
496
00:17:54,766 --> 00:17:56,986
I'm... I'm sorry.
Why are you here?
497
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,338
You know, I feel like
you've been avoiding me
498
00:17:59,363 --> 00:18:01,248
these past couple of days.
499
00:18:01,271 --> 00:18:02,674
Not avoiding you.
500
00:18:02,699 --> 00:18:04,661
I just have things in my life
that you're not involved in.
501
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,179
So, you know, if
we're gonna do this,
502
00:18:06,202 --> 00:18:08,440
you just have to keep
it fun and... and casual.
503
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,834
Yeah. But I really like you.
504
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,759
Oh, you really shouldn't,
505
00:18:12,784 --> 00:18:14,837
'cause I'm just
not in that place.
506
00:18:14,862 --> 00:18:18,523
My life is a mess right
now, and I-I kind of like it.
507
00:18:18,548 --> 00:18:19,692
Wow.
508
00:18:19,715 --> 00:18:21,452
You know, I can't
believe someone your age
509
00:18:21,477 --> 00:18:23,011
is still playing games.
510
00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:25,105
Oh. My age?
511
00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:26,440
Oh, boy. Yikes.
512
00:18:26,463 --> 00:18:28,275
Well, you are in your 40s.
513
00:18:28,298 --> 00:18:29,368
Mm. Mm-hmm.
514
00:18:29,393 --> 00:18:31,203
- Oof.
- Oh, yeah.
515
00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:32,445
Get out!
516
00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:34,949
Out! Not 40s! Alright.
517
00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:36,656
It's 40!
518
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:45,758
She's so happy.
519
00:18:47,986 --> 00:18:49,894
You know you can
stop singing now, right?
520
00:18:59,329 --> 00:19:01,550
Now that's gonna be
stuck in my head all day.
521
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:02,734
Great job with the party.
522
00:19:02,759 --> 00:19:04,768
Oh, please. Come on.
523
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:08,740
Don't hate me.
I really like him.
524
00:19:08,765 --> 00:19:11,818
I could never hate you, sadly.
525
00:19:11,843 --> 00:19:15,845
I just wish Diana would have
left me instead of cheating.
526
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,013
Last piece, bud.
527
00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:24,740
God. Okay.
528
00:19:24,765 --> 00:19:27,242
I know you think I'm
just being my crazy self,
529
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:28,669
and that's fine.
530
00:19:28,692 --> 00:19:29,688
But being able
to talk to Coleen...
531
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:31,247
It was like keeping her alive.
532
00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:32,915
And now it just feels like
I'm losing her all over again.
533
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:36,435
So, um, I know
it's Lila's birthday,
534
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:39,029
but I got you a surprise.
535
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:40,423
There you go.
536
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:41,924
You got a flip phone.
537
00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:45,057
It has Col's
number. I got it back.
538
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,596
What?
539
00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,265
How did you do that?
540
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,025
I just called that Devon girl
and scared the crap out of her.
541
00:19:51,048 --> 00:19:53,377
- Mm.
- This is Amy's dead friend.
542
00:19:53,402 --> 00:19:54,619
That phone is cursed.
543
00:19:54,644 --> 00:19:56,413
I will give you cystic
acne and make sure
544
00:19:56,438 --> 00:19:58,717
you never get invited to prom.
545
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,960
- Oh!
- I also, um...
546
00:20:00,983 --> 00:20:03,037
cobbled together an
outgoing message from, uh...
547
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:06,557
From the messages she
left on our home phone.
548
00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:08,617
We have a land line? Yeah.
549
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:10,970
No. I'm sorry.
550
00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:12,805
I kept it.
551
00:20:12,828 --> 00:20:16,314
Thank you, for all of it.
552
00:20:17,741 --> 00:20:20,462
This is the weirdest
best/worst birthday party
553
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:22,336
I've ever been to. I know.
554
00:20:23,673 --> 00:20:26,076
I don't think I've
ever seen you cry.
555
00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:28,246
Well, I cried at our
wedding. No, you didn't.
556
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,823
I cried right before. Okay,
that makes more sense.
557
00:20:30,846 --> 00:20:33,358
Yeah. Alright, I'm
gonna go, um...
558
00:20:33,383 --> 00:20:35,623
I'm gonna go call Coleen.
559
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,653
I'm glad you're not dead.
560
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,173
Me, too.
561
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:46,263
Hey, Col, it's me.
562
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:47,656
I'm at Lila's birthday party.
563
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:50,509
It's weird and sad
that you're not here.
564
00:20:50,534 --> 00:20:51,751
But Lila's having a blast,
565
00:20:51,776 --> 00:20:54,605
so don't... don't
worry about that.
566
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:57,349
Um, oh, hey, so...
So, listen to this.
567
00:20:57,374 --> 00:20:59,519
That trainer that
Jodie was seeing?
568
00:20:59,542 --> 00:21:02,469
Yeah. They did it.
569
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:05,282
Oh, hang on. You're...
570
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:08,124
You're getting
another call. Hold on.
571
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:10,604
Hello?
572
00:21:10,627 --> 00:21:12,515
Devon? It's Kyle.
573
00:21:12,538 --> 00:21:13,958
I've been wanting
to call you for days.
574
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:17,019
I was deployed.
It's really scary...
575
00:21:17,044 --> 00:21:18,203
No!
576
00:21:18,228 --> 00:21:19,372
Oh, my God.
577
00:21:19,395 --> 00:21:21,465
You are never
gonna believe this.
578
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:22,948
He called.
41225
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