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00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:04,370
Brock! Brock! Brock!
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Brock! Brock! Brock!
3
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Hey, all right!
4
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:12,970
All right. That's very nice.
5
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:17,320
My God, look at this sea
of Millennial faces. I am...
6
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,390
Yeah!
7
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I'm terrified.
8
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Let's get right into it.
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I need a suggestion for a monologue.
10
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:29,340
- The one that got away!
- The one that got at away.
11
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My God!
12
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Ooh!
13
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,710
Wow. You people
aren't kidding around tonight.
14
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,780
So much has gotten away from me lately.
15
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I mean, friends, family... my father.
16
00:00:47,350 --> 00:00:50,150
Um, hard to narrow it down
to just one thing.
17
00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:53,500
Folks, you ever have something
18
00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:56,290
so pure, just so real...
19
00:00:56,770 --> 00:00:58,730
you almost felt like
you didn't even deserve it?
20
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:00,690
Can you relate to that? CROWD: Yeah.
21
00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:03,700
For me, that one thing...
22
00:01:04,220 --> 00:01:05,630
was Molly Malone.
23
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Yeah!
24
00:01:11,490 --> 00:01:13,180
Molly Malone is a street name
25
00:01:13,230 --> 00:01:15,020
for the purest MDMA in existence.
26
00:01:23,030 --> 00:01:24,770
Yeah?
27
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,210
Hi.
28
00:01:27,610 --> 00:01:29,060
Hi!
29
00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:32,460
You know, I didn't
expect to see you here.
30
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:35,130
Or ever again, really.
31
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:37,160
I thought it'd be creepy
if I saw your show
32
00:01:37,190 --> 00:01:39,060
and then didn't come
say "hi" afterwards.
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00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,100
Right now, "creepy" doesn't
seem like such a bad thing.
34
00:01:43,260 --> 00:01:45,020
No, wait, whoa! Oh. What are you do...
35
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,560
Why are you in New Orleans?
36
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,370
I have a layover.
I'm on my way to Colombia.
37
00:01:48,470 --> 00:01:50,470
I've been approached about
buying an ownership piece
38
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:51,900
of a winter ball team down there.
39
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,980
- My flight leaves at midnight.
- Midnight!
40
00:01:54,020 --> 00:01:55,680
Well, that's practically
tomorrow, isn't it?
41
00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:57,550
Come on, can... Let's grab a drink.
42
00:01:57,820 --> 00:01:59,700
- That's not a good idea.
- All right.
43
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,690
- Got other plans, huh?
- I do.
44
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:04,320
The in-flight magazine said
that I can't leave New Orleans
45
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,420
without getting a beignet
from Cafe Du Monde.
46
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,460
Du Monde?! No,
47
00:02:07,490 --> 00:02:09,250
that's overpriced and
overcrowded, Jules.
48
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,610
I know where the locals go.
49
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,220
Come on. Please. It'll be my treat.
50
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,940
Don't you have an after-party to go to?
51
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,970
After-party? No, I don't.
52
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:19,380
What, my life just seems
like one big party
53
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,770
to you, huh, from the outside?
54
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,040
I assure you, it's, uh...
It's very lonely, Jules.
55
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,450
So, we fucking?
56
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,990
That was unfortunate timing
right there.
57
00:02:28,070 --> 00:02:30,490
- So, I'm gonna say goodbye.
- Fine. Let's go.
58
00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:33,630
Really? Don't give me
time to change my mind.
59
00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:36,190
- Um, hello?
- He'll fuck you tomorrow.
60
00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,260
So, Jules, can I ask
what you're doing here?
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00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:43,590
I told you. I have a layover.
62
00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:45,480
No, I mean what are we doing here?
63
00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:49,280
Okay, can I tell you why I'm here?
64
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,900
Because I am desperate
to absorb any moment
65
00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:53,260
I can possibly get with you,
66
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,910
no matter how awkward it might be.
67
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,720
Kind of like the way
Johnny The Hat would wring
68
00:02:57,750 --> 00:02:59,790
the bar mat into his mouth
after last call.
69
00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:01,350
You... remember that?
70
00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:04,510
The saddest part was he'd always
leave me a tip afterwards.
71
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:07,230
Just be honest with me. Please.
72
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:13,880
Okay, fine. I set up a Google
Alert for "Jim Brockmire dead."
73
00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:15,950
Jesus Christ. Everybody I know
has one of those things.
74
00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:17,750
So, when I got the e-mail
with that headline,
75
00:03:17,770 --> 00:03:19,820
I felt terrible...
Worse than when my dad died,
76
00:03:19,850 --> 00:03:21,550
'cause the last thing I said
to him was "I love you."
77
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:23,680
Last thing I said to you...
78
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,360
I don't remember exactly
what it I was, but it...
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00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:27,850
You said, "Back up," and then
you slammed the door in my face.
80
00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:29,690
Yeah. So, for a second,
81
00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:32,790
I thought that was
our last moment together.
82
00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:35,710
And I knew I had to tell you something.
83
00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:39,030
I don't hate you.
84
00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:40,370
Boy, this is a real roller coaster.
85
00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:42,490
You're selfish,
and you did a selfish thing.
86
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,100
I can hate the way you did it,
but I knew who you were.
87
00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:49,310
Okay. I mean, that's progress, I guess.
88
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,580
I mean, at least I am not
dead to you anymore.
89
00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:54,290
Life is too short to hold
that kind of grudge.
90
00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:57,580
- Just ask these two.
- Oh, yeah.
91
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,710
You know why all the cemeteries
in New Orleans are above ground?
92
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,880
'Cause we're below sea level here.
93
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,760
If they actually buried their dead,
94
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:08,740
they'd find themselves
swimming in a river of corpses.
95
00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:13,650
These monuments, they all house actual
bones and... and rotting flesh.
96
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,780
So, if I don't ask
for macabre New Orleans trivia,
97
00:04:16,810 --> 00:04:18,010
just assume I don't
want to hear it, okay?
98
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,510
Just trying to be a good tour guide.
99
00:04:19,530 --> 00:04:21,550
- Yeah, well...
- Seriously. No, speaking of which,
100
00:04:21,610 --> 00:04:24,090
right down that road there lies the bar
101
00:04:24,110 --> 00:04:26,900
that invented the French 75.
102
00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:30,150
Well, I think of you
every time I go in there.
103
00:04:30,290 --> 00:04:32,980
I do, because for some
ridiculous reason, Jules,
104
00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:34,290
that's your favorite drink.
105
00:04:34,370 --> 00:04:36,570
Because it's like a white wine
spritzer without the shame.
106
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:38,690
Oh, God, there's so much shame.
107
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,330
- We have a new mascot.
- Ah.
108
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,410
It's an oil derrick now.
Derek the Derrick.
109
00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:48,280
Mm. Boy, you anthropomorphized
the very thing
110
00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:50,040
that will be the undoing
of the human race.
111
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,300
That's... That's a very nice touch.
112
00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:53,910
I thought so.
113
00:04:53,980 --> 00:04:56,760
And I started a "When Harry
Met Sally" promo night...
114
00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:58,890
Two-for-one drinks
if you fake an orgasm
115
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,720
- at the concession stand.
- Wow.
116
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,260
It's the "I'll have what she's having."
117
00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:06,100
Nice, but I'm kind of glad
I missed that one.
118
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,420
Not sure I could have
handled seeing Dale
119
00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:10,370
in the throes of pleasure like that.
120
00:05:10,590 --> 00:05:12,250
- Dale died.
- What?
121
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,280
- Yeah.
- Get out of here.
122
00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:16,980
- How'd he die? He was so young.
- Meth fire.
123
00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:18,870
Meth... Yeah, well,
makes sense, doesn't it?
124
00:05:18,930 --> 00:05:20,630
You know, I-I told him.
125
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:23,040
I said, "You can cook meth as a hobby"
126
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:24,670
or you can siphon gasoline.
127
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:26,770
You cannot do both."
- Yeah.
128
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,680
- You seeing anybody?
- Nice segue.
129
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,550
I know, I'm sorry.
I just... I-I gotta know.
130
00:05:31,590 --> 00:05:32,840
You know, it's all I can think about
131
00:05:32,870 --> 00:05:34,460
since the moment I saw you.
132
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,500
I'm seeing a few people.
133
00:05:37,860 --> 00:05:39,430
Not as many as you, probably.
134
00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:41,590
Oh, no, no, no. Wait a minute now.
135
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,370
At first, I, uh...
136
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,650
dated attractive, age-appropriate women
137
00:05:45,690 --> 00:05:47,760
as kind of a substitute for you. I did.
138
00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:51,690
Desperately aping the magic
of our relationship
139
00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:53,850
like Woody Allen trying
to boil a lobster
140
00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:57,070
with whoever that
non-Annie-Hall-type person was.
141
00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,910
Now, I just, uh...
142
00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:02,210
I stick to the
one-night-stand groupie well.
143
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,460
I mean, it's transactional,
but at least it's honest.
144
00:06:04,510 --> 00:06:06,190
You poor baby.
145
00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:08,150
So many women jumping on your dick.
146
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,180
It's not easy.
147
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,210
Hey, I gotta get going. My flight is...
148
00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:14,990
No, no... Hey, no. Come on.
Don't get on that plane.
149
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,860
Seriously, just... stay.
150
00:06:20,070 --> 00:06:21,340
Stay for what?
151
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:23,120
Jules, you haven't had a beignet yet.
152
00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:25,440
No, you can't visit New Orleans
and not have a beignet.
153
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:27,210
That's like...
That's a slap in the face
154
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:29,350
to the editors of Delta Sky Magazine.
155
00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:32,100
- Okay.
- Really?
156
00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:33,300
Well, don't make me overthink it.
157
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,840
I'm pretty sure I'm making a mistake.
158
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:37,680
Well... No, you're not.
159
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,270
Since I'm staying,
you can buy me another drink.
160
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,920
This one's done.
161
00:06:49,020 --> 00:06:50,620
I really missed you.
162
00:06:53,150 --> 00:06:55,650
Hey, Pasquale. Yo, how you doing?
163
00:06:55,670 --> 00:06:57,520
Double for me, usual.
164
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,790
Pint glass full
of White Zin for the lady.
165
00:06:59,860 --> 00:07:01,060
You heard that right.
166
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,000
Kind of a regular here.
Don't like to brag.
167
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,410
No, I know. You mentioned it
on your podcast.
168
00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:09,710
This is where you like to take a woman
169
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,410
when you really want to impress her.
170
00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:13,480
- I did?
- I believe your exact words were
171
00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:15,330
"put a napkin down
or it's gonna look like
172
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:18,460
there was a snail race
on that barstool."
173
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,920
- Get out of here. I said that?
- Yeah, you did.
174
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,720
You broadcast it to
anyone who'd listen.
175
00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:24,040
Oh, my goodness.
176
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,550
Well, Ol' Blackout Jimmy is just
full of surprises, isn't he?
177
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,710
But you know, my...
Thank you, Pasquale.
178
00:07:28,770 --> 00:07:31,240
My takeaway from that story is...
179
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,220
you're a regular listener
to my podcast.
180
00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:37,330
I gotta have something to do
while I'm folding the laundry.
181
00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:39,250
- Oh, don't we all.
- Hey, I gotta pee.
182
00:07:39,270 --> 00:07:41,260
Uh, I'm assuming you've had sex
in the ladies' room.
183
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,220
- Oh, you know that I have.
- Is it gross?
184
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:45,040
- No, it's not bad at all.
- Oh.
185
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,690
Straight back that way.
186
00:07:46,820 --> 00:07:49,150
- Thank you.
- Oh, sure. Enjoy.
187
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:55,310
There you are. I had a
feeling I'd find you here.
188
00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:57,750
What are you doing here? Well,
I came down to let you know
189
00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,910
that word's coming in
from Atlanta this weekend.
190
00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:02,810
- This weekend?
- Yeah.
191
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,030
This weekend's almost over, isn't it?
Exactly.
192
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,930
And I'm pretty sure
no news is not good news.
193
00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:11,350
Right. Yeah, okay. I'll see.
194
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,170
- You gonna be okay?
- Yeah, Charles.
195
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,400
You know, if Atlanta
doesn't happen, it...
196
00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:18,650
- It wasn't meant to be.
- Okay.
197
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:20,230
Okay.
198
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,920
What's going on with you?
199
00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:24,390
Nothing is going on with me.
What's going on with you?
200
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:27,530
- Hey! I missed you!
- Oh, my God!
201
00:08:27,630 --> 00:08:29,560
- I missed you so much!
- This...
202
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,200
This is great!
203
00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:33,000
It's like my parents
are getting back together.
204
00:08:33,060 --> 00:08:35,030
Except, you know, I actually
want this to happen.
205
00:08:35,060 --> 00:08:36,860
- Just relax.
- Where's your girlfriend?
206
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,050
Girlfriend? This guy
doesn't have a girlfriend!
207
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,750
I had to bribe this guy
just to have sex with somebody.
208
00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:47,020
You know what it does have,
though, is someplace else to be.
209
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,070
Right. Got it.
210
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,760
I'll leave you two to catch up.
211
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,780
- It's happening!
- Nothing is happening!
212
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:55,470
- Okay!
- Stop it.
213
00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,290
I mean, something...
Something's happening.
214
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:58,550
I just don't want to label it,
215
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,800
because that will kill what's
happening... whatever that is.
216
00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:01,990
- Shut up.
- All right.
217
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,500
Cheers.
218
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:08,700
You know what... do you have...
You don't have saxophones?
219
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,790
Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
220
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,490
Is there, like, another saxophone guy?
221
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:21,850
I will take two trumpets
if that's all you got.
222
00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:23,380
Here. Cheers.
223
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,760
Oh, yeah. See, that's good.
224
00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:39,290
You can taste the jazz!
225
00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,350
Oh! Oh, shit!
226
00:09:46,530 --> 00:09:47,660
Oh, are you all right?
227
00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:49,980
- No!
- Oh, shit!
228
00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:52,320
God damn it! God!
229
00:09:52,370 --> 00:09:54,470
How's that ankle doing?
Still smarting back there?
230
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,830
It hurts. And my head hurts.
231
00:09:58,060 --> 00:10:00,460
Oh, are you sobering up?
No. Can't have that.
232
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:01,820
We gotta get you another drink.
233
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:05,030
I used to keep up with you.
234
00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:07,700
- What's happened?
- I... Oh!
235
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:10,730
Uh, I may not be in the major leagues,
236
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:13,750
but I've really upped my game
when it comes to my alcoholism.
237
00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:15,390
Yeah, New Orleans is...
238
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:17,020
It's really the place to go pro.
239
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,430
And you know who has
an up-and-coming bar scene?
240
00:10:20,460 --> 00:10:21,710
Morristown.
241
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,930
Oh, yeah, Morristown has its charms.
242
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:25,950
- It does.
- Mm-hmm.
243
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:27,520
Ooh, Jules, you know what
244
00:10:27,550 --> 00:10:29,510
- night I always think about?
- Mmm, which one?
245
00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:32,450
The time that we drank Sambuca...
246
00:10:32,510 --> 00:10:35,090
- ...at home plate there.
- Oh, babe, me, too.
247
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:37,000
But this time,
can we have sex in a bed,
248
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,620
'cause I don't want to pick dirt
249
00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:40,250
out of my ass crack for two weeks.
250
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,550
I don't, either.
Sure thing! I'm gonna run.
251
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,470
Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait.
252
00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:52,800
You just have this
hotel room all the time?
253
00:10:52,990 --> 00:10:54,790
Oh, yes, this is where
I take the strange
254
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:56,700
I don't want to bring home.
255
00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:59,820
Charles can be a real judgy
little prick sometimes.
256
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,060
I see. So, am I the strange?
257
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,420
Oh, yes, you are. You're...
You are the strange.
258
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,960
- Yes!
- Yeah, you are.
259
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,690
Your slut.
260
00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:09,110
So...
261
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,180
did you have a-a good time tonight?
262
00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:12,920
Are you kidding? I'm in love.
263
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,020
With New Orleans.
264
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:20,110
- Please!
- Ugh.
265
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:21,730
No, well, I am, too.
266
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,330
God, you terrified me there.
267
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:28,000
I mean, you know, it's nice to
finally find a home, you know,
268
00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:29,130
and...
269
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,660
finally settle down.
270
00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:32,880
All it took was the love of a good...
271
00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,760
city.
272
00:11:35,130 --> 00:11:38,110
- I don't believe in a soul.
- Okay.
273
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:40,690
I think it's just a delusion
that masks the fact
274
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,770
that we're all just lumpy sacks of meat
275
00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:45,270
marching towards
our inevitable obsolescence.
276
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,730
Can we dispense with the graveyard
277
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,230
- play-by-play...?
- Since I don't believe in a soul,
278
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:51,290
I can't say that I believe
in a soul mate, Jules.
279
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,650
But I'll tell you something.
280
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:55,340
Uh, I do know that the connection
281
00:11:55,370 --> 00:11:58,400
that I feel between the two
of us... I'm serious now...
282
00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:03,410
It's the most profound thing
I've ever known.
283
00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:14,880
I just messed it up, didn't I?
284
00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,350
- No.
- I did.
285
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,280
No, I-I know what you mean.
286
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,170
Usually when someone hurts me,
287
00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:24,630
I could cut them out of my life
like the tumor they are, but...
288
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,680
oh, with you, I can't.
289
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,830
Okay, so to me, you're a profound love,
290
00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:31,570
- and to you, I'm a tumor?
- Yeah.
291
00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:35,430
You're a tumor. Tumor I like.
Like a benign one.
292
00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:37,990
You know what? I'll take it.
293
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:41,230
At this point, I'll take it.
294
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:44,490
Am I still the only person you've
ever had sex with on home plate?
295
00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:47,080
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
296
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,200
Although Uribe and I did
jerk off on the pitcher's mound.
297
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,070
Now you ruined it.
298
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:54,360
How about that beignet?
299
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:57,520
Oh. I-I-I don't have any clothes.
300
00:12:57,700 --> 00:13:01,630
You spilled Curaçao all over
my... my... my... my shirt.
301
00:13:01,710 --> 00:13:03,860
You ripped my pants.
My bag is at the airport.
302
00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:04,940
- I mean...
- I got you covered.
303
00:13:04,970 --> 00:13:06,730
Why are there so many bras?
304
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,010
Are women in that big
of a hurry to leave afterwards?
305
00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:12,160
Hey, my love life's kind of
like the airport TGI Fridays.
306
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,430
It is all about turning those tables.
307
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,580
Look at this. I feel like
I'm in Filene's Basement.
308
00:13:17,950 --> 00:13:20,330
Oh, shit, I've gotta take this.
309
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:22,160
- Brockmire.
- It's Whitney.
310
00:13:22,190 --> 00:13:25,220
- Is this a good time?
- Well, uh, you tell me.
311
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,000
Hi. I was interested
in changing my flight.
312
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:36,360
I have a flight tonight,
and I was wondering
313
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,980
what your policy is
about getting reimbursed.
314
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,080
I reviewed the data,
and, overwhelmingly,
315
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:43,000
it seems like the greatest
benefit to the franchise
316
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,700
would be to go with Raj.
317
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:46,960
Okay. That's...
318
00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:50,670
- pretty much what I figured.
- But I was overruled.
319
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,730
What?
320
00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:56,590
My flight got canceled.
321
00:13:57,380 --> 00:13:59,080
My flight got canceled.
322
00:14:01,350 --> 00:14:02,520
Hey.
323
00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:05,100
You're not gonna believe this,
but my flight got canceled.
324
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:06,340
Jules, I got it.
325
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,690
I got the job! I am...
I'm going to Atlanta!
326
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,760
- Yeah!
- Wait, what?
327
00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:15,230
How is this possible?
328
00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:16,990
You never mentioned there was
a chance you were leaving.
329
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,420
Jules, I didn't think there was,
330
00:14:18,450 --> 00:14:19,750
but I gotta get to Atlanta
331
00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:21,580
and press the flesh of my benefactors.
332
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,680
- When?
- Now.
333
00:14:23,870 --> 00:14:25,010
You're meeting them today?
334
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:26,660
Well, the meeting's not till Wednesday,
335
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,040
but I'm taking the next flight.
336
00:14:28,070 --> 00:14:30,020
- Well, change it.
- Oh, Jules, I would love to.
337
00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:32,070
No, I really would, but, you know,
338
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,880
I-I-I kind of like
to tool around a city
339
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:36,650
and get to know it for a couple
of days before I represent it.
340
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,110
I mean, you know... kinda my process.
341
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:41,110
Your process? What are you, Basquiat?
342
00:14:41,140 --> 00:14:42,470
You report things that people
343
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,130
can already see with their own eyes.
344
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,020
Well, some people would say
there's kind of an art
345
00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:48,420
- to what I do.
- I changed my flight for you!
346
00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:50,460
You told me it was... It was cancelled.
347
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,010
I lied! Obviously!
348
00:14:53,710 --> 00:14:55,870
Jesus, just... Yeah. Call a taxi.
All right.
349
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:57,740
No, no, no, no, no.
I'll... I'll push my flight.
350
00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,400
- Don't do me any favors.
- Ple... I want to. I do.
351
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:01,790
Of course, I wanna push my flight, J...
352
00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:04,300
Hey, come on. Please don't leave now.
353
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,590
Why not?
354
00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:15,210
Well, beignets.
355
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,060
- What will it be?
- Two beignets,
356
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,900
we know that for sure, and...
357
00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:23,270
A chicory coffee.
358
00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:25,710
No, uh, regular.
Two regular coffees, please.
359
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,150
Allow me to explain.
360
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,780
Um, chicory was originally marketed
361
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,540
as kind of a filler
to make coffee go farther.
362
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,960
It's kind of like
it's a dried up old beet root
363
00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:36,520
with absolutely no caffeine in it.
364
00:15:36,570 --> 00:15:39,120
Drinking chicory coffee
when regular coffee is available
365
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:43,550
is kind of like seeing a bong full
of fresh Jack Herer and going,
366
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,330
"Nah, no, thanks. I'll just, uh..."
367
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,910
I'll take that half-smoked spliff
368
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:49,370
"out of that ashtray over there."
369
00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:52,230
- Do you ever shut up?
- I do not, no.
370
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,280
But, hey, you knew that, didn't you?
371
00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:57,970
- I'm such an idiot!
- No...
372
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,800
You're not an idiot. You didn't know.
373
00:15:59,870 --> 00:16:01,870
Chicory is real popular around here.
374
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:07,530
Jules!
375
00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:13,410
What's up?
376
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:19,690
I started thinking,
"I like it here, and...
377
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,200
I like being with Jim."
378
00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:26,110
If I don't buy into this team,
379
00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:28,010
that's five months
during the off-season.
380
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,570
Maybe I could split my time between...
381
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:32,310
Well, yes. We... Why can't we do that?
382
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:34,250
An hour ago, it was New Orleans.
383
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,050
Now it's Atlanta. What's it
gonna be in six months?
384
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,940
- I can't just follow you around!
- Why not?
385
00:16:38,990 --> 00:16:41,550
Jules, I am... I am very delightful.
386
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,610
I have a life in Morristown,
387
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:44,660
- in case you forgot.
- No, I know.
388
00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:46,150
I know better than
to ask you to leave there.
389
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:47,820
- But, look, Jules...
- Then what are you saying?
390
00:16:47,870 --> 00:16:50,520
I am saying I've been
doing some thinking, too.
391
00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:53,410
Tonight was amazing.
I mean, it was just...
392
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,480
Right? It was unbelievable.
393
00:16:55,650 --> 00:16:57,380
Why can't we meet up once a month
394
00:16:57,460 --> 00:16:58,840
at one of my road games?
395
00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:01,490
Could be in Miami or St. Louis,
Cincinnati, wherever.
396
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,520
The point is, it will be
a night just like tonight,
397
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:05,540
we'll be two people,
we won't know anybody.
398
00:17:05,570 --> 00:17:07,280
We'll be free
to just explore a new city.
399
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:09,400
We can just drink and dance and just...
400
00:17:09,850 --> 00:17:11,650
screw and...
401
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:14,430
We can just... We can disappear, Jules.
402
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:19,680
So, a bender?
403
00:17:19,770 --> 00:17:22,780
No, okay, yes... no.
But, yes, all right.
404
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:24,480
Well, just think about it,
just for a second.
405
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,740
All highs, no lows. Right?
406
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,500
We'll never have to fight over
who empties the dishwasher
407
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,050
or pick up each other's dry cleaning
408
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,950
or ask each other,
"How was your day, hon?"
409
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,180
Jules, I'll never have to pretend
410
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,650
that I didn't just hear you fart.
411
00:17:36,810 --> 00:17:38,740
Okay, think about that.
No, wait... no, really!
412
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,900
We just cut out all
the mundane bullshit
413
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,960
and get right to
the perfect relationship.
414
00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:50,300
The "mundane bullshit"
is a relationship.
415
00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:52,650
Yeah, but I know, but why settle
for that when we can...
416
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,100
You know, we can make up our own rules!
417
00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:56,860
Because I'd still be settling.
418
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,610
I want someone to have
a night like tonight with
419
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,620
who'll also be there
when I wake up in the morning.
420
00:18:00,650 --> 00:18:01,900
I want to have adventures with someone,
421
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,760
but I also want someone
to pay the bills with and...
422
00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:06,300
go grocery shopping
423
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,920
and tell me when it's time
to wash my smelly jeans.
424
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:11,300
- And I deserve all that.
- Jules, you do.
425
00:18:11,470 --> 00:18:13,410
Dear God, you do.
426
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,600
It's all I can offer you
right now, though.
427
00:18:18,410 --> 00:18:20,860
You have a choice, and
you're not choosing me...
428
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,920
again!
429
00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:24,710
Come on. That's a very
harsh way to put it.
430
00:18:25,090 --> 00:18:27,420
What are you doing? I was gonna
take you to the airport.
431
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:30,690
I won't subject you
to that mundane shit, hon.
432
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,950
Your beignets are ready.
433
00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:21,070
Hey.
434
00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:23,870
- I'll have what he's having.
- What?
435
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,110
It's a callback, asshole.
436
00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:28,280
Give me a Sazerac, neat.
437
00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:36,530
Well, everybody, I want you
to enjoy yourselves!
438
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,760
Soak up every last moment
of New Orleans
439
00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:40,780
that you possibly can. Why?
440
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:43,490
Because the sea levels,
they are rising faster
441
00:19:43,510 --> 00:19:46,610
than even the most dire
predictions, and nobody,
442
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,450
and I mean nobody in power
seems to give a shit about that.
443
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,910
Two generations. Two.
444
00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:55,620
All the above-ground cemeteries,
they're gonna be underwater.
445
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,970
So, uh... yeah, we're all
just playing a fiddle
446
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,010
while Rome drowns, aren't we?
447
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:03,020
So salud.
448
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,690
What's so funny down there?
449
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,110
Oh, nothing, Al Gore.
450
00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:15,440
Thanks for the climate-change lecture.
451
00:20:15,490 --> 00:20:17,460
I'll be sure to buy a Prius.
452
00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:19,150
Not saying we should try to stop it.
453
00:20:19,170 --> 00:20:22,300
I'm saying we should embrace it.
Just embrace the futility.
454
00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:28,000
You sound like a junior-high kid
who just discovered Nietzsche.
455
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:31,210
Yeah, well, it's not my first
nihilist rodeo, I assure you.
456
00:20:36,580 --> 00:20:42,050
So you really think
our actions are meaningless?
457
00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:43,900
That...
458
00:20:44,550 --> 00:20:46,690
consequences don't matter?
459
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,200
Prove it.
460
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,570
And how would you like me to do that?
461
00:20:57,010 --> 00:20:59,200
Oh, shit!
462
00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:07,390
- What the hell are you doing?!
- Looking for my Tide Pen.
463
00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:09,830
Jesus Christ!
464
00:21:10,190 --> 00:21:12,890
When you're really ready to go
down the rabbit hole,
465
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,680
call me.
466
00:21:14,950 --> 00:21:16,950
All right, okay.
467
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:18,340
Shit.
468
00:21:23,210 --> 00:21:25,250
Are you... Are you all right?
469
00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:27,140
Mm-hmm.
470
00:21:28,950 --> 00:21:32,720
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