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1
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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:07,673
♪ Is violence in
movies and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:11,343
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:14,346
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:18,075
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,093 --> 00:00:21,411
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,505 --> 00:00:22,855
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,248
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:30,070
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,259
Welcome to tumbling class.
11
00:00:35,277 --> 00:00:36,535
Moms, please enjoy,
12
00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:39,187
while dads grumble about
how much the class costs.
13
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,099
240 bucks for a mat and a room.
14
00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:43,375
Now let's all gather 'round
15
00:00:43,602 --> 00:00:46,003
because Stewie is
gonna do a somersault.
16
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,556
Nailed it.
17
00:00:57,707 --> 00:00:59,944
Well, that's basically fine,
and I don't honestly care,
18
00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:04,379
so unless there's an unexpected
appearance from a rival baby...
19
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,973
Perhaps I could take a shot.
20
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,270
It's Doug!
21
00:01:08,294 --> 00:01:09,568
That's Stewie's rival.
22
00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:10,977
What are you doing here, Doug?
23
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:13,054
Eh, thought I'd give
this tumbling thing a try.
24
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,740
So what do I do, just fall down
25
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:17,058
like literally anyone
affected by gravity?
26
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,038
Um, there's a bit
more to it than that.
27
00:01:19,138 --> 00:01:20,949
One can't just show
up and hope to execute,
28
00:01:20,973 --> 00:01:22,456
say, a perfect somers...
29
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:25,492
Oh, oh, he's very good!
30
00:01:27,237 --> 00:01:28,903
Hmm. Something like that?
31
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,814
- Wow!
- Now that's tumbling!
32
00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:33,317
Boys can be good at this till
nine, then the whispers start.
33
00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:35,243
Calm down, it wasn't that great.
34
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,654
Stewie, give Doug
your shirt and overalls.
35
00:01:37,673 --> 00:01:39,139
He's my son now.
36
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,103
We now return
to Christopher Nolan's Tenet.
37
00:01:44,254 --> 00:01:45,512
I'm already completely lost.
38
00:01:45,664 --> 00:01:48,923
Dad, can I ask you
something about girls?
39
00:01:49,017 --> 00:01:50,109
Are you wearing a wire?
40
00:01:50,336 --> 00:01:52,238
There's a girl in my
class I have a crush on,
41
00:01:52,262 --> 00:01:54,020
and I can't get
her to notice me.
42
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:56,406
Ah, now I understand.
43
00:01:58,177 --> 00:02:00,010
Lucky for you, there's
a bunch of old movies
44
00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:01,511
on this very subject.
45
00:02:01,605 --> 00:02:03,347
Here. Sixteen Candles.
46
00:02:03,365 --> 00:02:05,349
Can't Buy Me
Love, Say Anything...
47
00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:07,960
all on very inconvenient VHS.
48
00:02:08,187 --> 00:02:10,871
VHS? What do
those letters stand for?
49
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,206
That information has
been lost to history.
50
00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:15,039
Anyway, Chris, just
watch these movies
51
00:02:15,194 --> 00:02:17,361
and do what the
28-year-old teenagers do.
52
00:02:17,379 --> 00:02:18,637
I guess I could try.
53
00:02:18,864 --> 00:02:22,366
After all, they tried to do
Superman in Boston once.
54
00:02:22,459 --> 00:02:25,535
I've noticed that you're never
around when Superman's here.
55
00:02:25,554 --> 00:02:27,220
Are... are you Superman?
56
00:02:27,373 --> 00:02:28,889
What is ya, wacked in the head?
57
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,224
I'm Clahk. Plain ol' Clahk.
58
00:02:31,377 --> 00:02:33,819
Okay, back to our
Boston newspaper job.
59
00:02:34,046 --> 00:02:35,970
Spotlight.
60
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,531
What?!
61
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,146
Show-and-tell time.
62
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,166
Finally a chance
to reclaim my honor
63
00:02:47,317 --> 00:02:49,001
after that whole
tumbling fiasco.
64
00:02:49,228 --> 00:02:51,670
Next up for
show-and-tell: Stewie.
65
00:02:51,897 --> 00:02:53,130
Hello, everyone.
66
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,340
This is a weird seashell
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00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:57,584
that kind of looks
like female genitalia
68
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:58,902
that my dad likes.
69
00:02:58,921 --> 00:03:00,404
Lois, where's my she shell?
70
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:02,572
Oh, Stewie took
it to show-and-tell.
71
00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:04,908
Well, I hope no one
puts it to their ear.
72
00:03:04,927 --> 00:03:06,393
Incredible, right?
73
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,173
Thank you, Stewie.
74
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,527
And, so you know, many
middle-aged women have seashells
75
00:03:15,679 --> 00:03:17,087
in their powder rooms.
76
00:03:17,105 --> 00:03:19,514
Okay, next up is Doug.
77
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,033
Hello, gang,
78
00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:24,110
and have I got some
show-and-tell for you.
79
00:03:24,263 --> 00:03:26,763
This is a ticket stub
from a PG movie
80
00:03:26,782 --> 00:03:28,615
that I got to see
in the theater...
81
00:03:28,767 --> 00:03:29,933
alone.
82
00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:31,210
Wow!
83
00:03:31,361 --> 00:03:34,104
Also, I've been
on a Disney cruise.
84
00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:36,048
Hey, who's this in the
picture with Moana?
85
00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:38,442
Oh, me? Huh.
86
00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:41,127
- No way!
- Moana is famously agoraphobic.
87
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,780
Yes, but she's
managing it day by day,
88
00:03:43,799 --> 00:03:45,057
thanks to CBD oil.
89
00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:47,037
This cruise was
a big step for her.
90
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,376
Okay, I think we
can all agree that
91
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,877
these are very
lame show-and-tell...
92
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:53,139
And finally, a piece of
candy from the London airport.
93
00:03:53,292 --> 00:03:55,809
Aw, a Lion Bar?
94
00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:58,553
I'm sorry, did I say
"a piece of candy"?
95
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,648
More like British candy
for the whole class!
96
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,243
Drumstick Squashies and
rose-flavored wine gums
97
00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:06,303
for everyone!
98
00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:08,450
Hello, Show-and-Tell
National Championships
99
00:04:08,474 --> 00:04:11,992
in DeKalb, Illinois, I
have a nominee for you.
100
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:14,644
Dammit. I'm sick of
being one-upped by Doug.
101
00:04:14,738 --> 00:04:15,921
Hurts.
102
00:04:16,072 --> 00:04:18,507
It hurts worse than a
trip to the barber shop.
103
00:04:22,212 --> 00:04:25,180
This is what babies
think happens at haircuts!
104
00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:32,012
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Burbeck.
105
00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:33,491
Do you have a
daughter named Jennifer,
106
00:04:33,515 --> 00:04:36,275
who is currently smeared
across Highway 9?
107
00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:37,334
Joe, it's us.
108
00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:39,336
Oh, sorry. That's my next stop.
109
00:04:39,354 --> 00:04:42,005
Peter, your son was lurking
outside a classmate's window
110
00:04:42,024 --> 00:04:44,449
with this boom box,
playing Peter Gabriel.
111
00:04:44,601 --> 00:04:46,618
He's being charged
with felony stalking.
112
00:04:46,845 --> 00:04:49,863
I also tried to use science
to make a sex slave
113
00:04:50,015 --> 00:04:51,623
from a magazine photo.
114
00:04:51,775 --> 00:04:53,366
Oh, this is horrifying!
115
00:04:53,519 --> 00:04:55,852
- Actually, it's the '80s.
- What?
116
00:04:55,871 --> 00:04:58,188
Well, it appears that
someone has exposed your son
117
00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:02,617
to the very problematic
teen films of the 1980s.
118
00:05:03,244 --> 00:05:05,028
Peter, tell me it wasn't you.
119
00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:06,546
Honestly, Lois, I have no idea.
120
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,715
My brain can't even
think thoughts no more
121
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,976
- 'cause of the Internet.
- Ugh, that's it.
122
00:05:11,127 --> 00:05:13,645
From now on, you
are an outside Peter.
123
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:14,962
Go on! Get!
124
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,540
Outside!
125
00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:23,405
Go to your Peter house.
Go to your Peter house!
126
00:05:36,411 --> 00:05:38,061
God, look at Doug over there,
127
00:05:38,154 --> 00:05:39,965
throwing a Frisbee
with the kindergarteners
128
00:05:39,989 --> 00:05:41,801
and a shorter-than-average
first-grader.
129
00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:43,508
- Thinks he's so cool.
- Yup.
130
00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:46,160
There must be some way I
can finally one-up that guy,
131
00:05:46,254 --> 00:05:48,363
and you're clearly looking
for cat turds right now.
132
00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:50,574
Yup. Y... Huh? Wait, uh, wait.
133
00:05:50,592 --> 00:05:53,426
- Aw, gum.
- Help me out, man.
134
00:05:53,579 --> 00:05:55,573
I need something to win
back everyone's attention.
135
00:05:55,597 --> 00:05:57,004
Wait, I know!
136
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,006
What if I flip my
eyelids inside out?
137
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,934
Show everyone what a freak I am.
138
00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:03,269
Huh? I could carve this out.
139
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:04,863
Right? This could be my thing.
140
00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:06,272
I don't think so, Stewie.
141
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:09,034
All right, well what if I
just, like, do Doug's mom?
142
00:06:09,261 --> 00:06:11,203
Uh... Y... I-I mean,
yeah, yeah, that...
143
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:13,241
I mean, that would... that
would pretty much do it.
144
00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:15,432
Awesome! How do you
dial a phone or have sex?
145
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:17,626
Or stand up without
using your hands?
146
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:21,890
Let me tell you
something, Brian...
147
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:30,539
Oh, no!
148
00:06:31,617 --> 00:06:34,134
You said it,
relatively-short-first-grader.
149
00:06:34,286 --> 00:06:36,043
That Frisbee is way up there.
150
00:06:36,138 --> 00:06:38,288
I'm too scared to
climb up that high.
151
00:06:38,381 --> 00:06:40,548
Me, too,
average-height-kindergartener.
152
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,809
That jungle gym dates
back to the 1930s,
153
00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:44,697
when the lives of
children were expendable.
154
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,980
Someone would have to
be crazy to climb up there.
155
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,222
I'll do it.
156
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:49,466
What?
157
00:06:49,484 --> 00:06:51,112
I'll climb up there
and get that Frisbee.
158
00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:53,078
Doug may be afraid, but I'm not.
159
00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:55,472
Just give me a day to
get prepared and gear up,
160
00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:57,824
and at sunrise tomorrow,
I will climb up there
161
00:06:57,976 --> 00:06:59,309
and retrieve that Frisbee.
162
00:06:59,327 --> 00:07:01,311
Or we can ask
Spider-Man to do it.
163
00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:03,496
He came to my birthday
party. I know him.
164
00:07:03,649 --> 00:07:05,735
That wasn't the real
Spider-Man. That was your dad.
165
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,093
We could see his hernia
popping through the suit.
166
00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:09,502
Hey, Tyler!
167
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,097
Heard Spider-Man had a
pretty good time at your party.
168
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,681
Don't mind me, Brian.
Just pushing the edge.
169
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:23,090
Hmm.
170
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,425
14 zippers, if you must know,
171
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,238
but it's not about
my pants, Brian.
172
00:07:26,262 --> 00:07:28,171
It's about my
fearlessness and pants.
173
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:29,448
Now, I need to plan out
174
00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:31,616
every last inch of
my climb tomorrow.
175
00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:33,952
If I do this right, I'm gonna
be remembered forever,
176
00:07:34,179 --> 00:07:36,270
like 9/11 was for a few years.
177
00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:37,659
You're just climbing
a jungle gym.
178
00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:40,183
- It's not a big deal.
- Not a big deal?
179
00:07:40,185 --> 00:07:41,943
I pull this off, I go
down in history!
180
00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:45,297
The Guy Who
Was Hanged Next to Nathan Hale.
181
00:07:45,448 --> 00:07:50,043
I regret that I have but one
life to give for my country.
182
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,212
If you kill me, I'm
gonna immediately void.
183
00:07:52,364 --> 00:07:55,699
All over here. All over here.
184
00:07:55,717 --> 00:07:58,560
You, historian, write
down both our things.
185
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:05,208
Hey, Lois, how about we
get a little three-way going?
186
00:08:05,301 --> 00:08:08,394
- You, me and the seashell?
- Oh, forget it, Peter.
187
00:08:08,547 --> 00:08:10,137
After that whole thing
with the '80s movies,
188
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,472
I'm very upset with you.
189
00:08:11,566 --> 00:08:13,808
Well, can you use
that anger in the sex?
190
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,554
No, Peter, your '80s
nostalgia isn't funny anymore.
191
00:08:17,572 --> 00:08:20,724
It's tired and worn out,
and borderline dangerous.
192
00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:23,243
I mean, those old
references just don't play
193
00:08:23,395 --> 00:08:26,153
- the same in today's world.
- What you talkin' 'bout, Lois?
194
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,065
This! This is exactly
what I'm talking about!
195
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:31,510
When are you
gonna let the '80s go?
196
00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:34,679
Never! The '80s will
always be the best decade.
197
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,239
And I'm confident
198
00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:37,999
that non-whites and
women would agree with that.
199
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,185
Everyone else, too.
And I'm gonna prove it.
200
00:08:40,412 --> 00:08:43,004
Family! Come here
conveniently fast, please!
201
00:08:43,098 --> 00:08:44,098
What is it, Peter?
202
00:08:44,249 --> 00:08:45,749
I have decided
to prove to you all
203
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,360
that the '80s are still
relevant and hilarious.
204
00:08:48,511 --> 00:08:51,588
- But they're not.
- And in keeping with the wonderful 1980s,
205
00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:54,181
I'm gonna go upstairs
and drill a hole in the wall
206
00:08:54,276 --> 00:08:55,683
to watch girls shower.
207
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,370
Peter, in addition to that
being wildly problematic,
208
00:08:58,597 --> 00:09:01,188
you can't just drill a
hole in a structural wall.
209
00:09:01,283 --> 00:09:03,375
Do you even know how to do that?
210
00:09:03,602 --> 00:09:07,045
Okay, that's one drywall
bit, one masonry bit,
211
00:09:07,196 --> 00:09:10,031
one spur point
bit, one tile bit,
212
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:12,442
one drill with a
hammer action setting,
213
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:15,111
one wire detector,
one stud finder,
214
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:16,537
and one grease pencil.
215
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:19,115
Sounds like someone's
drilling a hole in the wall
216
00:09:19,134 --> 00:09:20,466
to watch girls shower.
217
00:09:20,619 --> 00:09:22,877
- Oh, big time.
- Did you pull a permit?
218
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,120
City hall's next.
219
00:09:24,139 --> 00:09:26,147
Nice!
220
00:09:34,132 --> 00:09:36,891
♪ I'm all right ♪
221
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,393
♪ Nobody worry about me. ♪
222
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,641
Oh, my God! What did you do?
223
00:09:44,659 --> 00:09:46,492
He was supposed to get away.
224
00:09:46,645 --> 00:09:48,920
It was gonna be
harmless '80s fun.
225
00:09:49,072 --> 00:09:50,647
You killed the gopher!
226
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:53,316
- He's all right?
- No! He's not all right!
227
00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:54,667
We're all gonna get laid?
228
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,002
Dammit, Peter!
229
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,913
Stop saying blandly upbeat
things from the movie!
230
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,581
This has to stop!
231
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,083
You're right.
232
00:10:02,177 --> 00:10:04,251
Man, and I was so sure
that stuff from the '80s
233
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,937
would still play the same today.
234
00:10:06,164 --> 00:10:07,900
I guess people are
only interested in that
235
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:09,641
for 19 seasons.
236
00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:11,184
Hi, I'm Kenny Loggins,
237
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,427
and I'm still very
interested in '80s references.
238
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,855
Every time Family Guy
plays one of my songs,
239
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,174
I get a new hot tub
for my Colorado deck.
240
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:21,010
♪ I'm all right ♪
241
00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:23,622
♪ Nobody worry about me. ♪
242
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:28,609
All right, you guys ready to
watch some history be made
243
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:29,869
by Stewie Griffin?
244
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,779
And guest?
245
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,374
What the...? 11, 12, 13...
246
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,118
15 zippers! You've got
to be kidding me!
247
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,470
What do you say, Stewie?
248
00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:41,139
A friendly race to the top
in front of all these kids,
249
00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:43,958
plus the red-haired girl from
the Charlie Brown cartoons?
250
00:10:44,052 --> 00:10:47,036
Aw. I care about her
opinion most of all!
251
00:10:47,055 --> 00:10:48,295
You don't care about me.
252
00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:50,482
You just wanted to
wear my ballerina skirt.
253
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,725
I especially love
her sense of humor
254
00:10:52,878 --> 00:10:54,301
and inventive storytelling.
255
00:10:54,396 --> 00:10:57,489
Okay, you're on. First
to the Frisbee wins.
256
00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:01,308
You realize, Doug, we
might die up there today.
257
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,287
Then I'll see you in heck.
258
00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:19,752
Okay, toughest part of the
climb: Dried Booger Ridge.
259
00:11:30,598 --> 00:11:32,482
The Frisbee!
260
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:43,927
Yes! I win!
261
00:11:43,945 --> 00:11:47,205
♪ I'm going all the way ♪
262
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:51,584
♪ Sooner or later
gotta love somebody. ♪
263
00:11:52,729 --> 00:11:54,129
Wha...?
264
00:11:57,292 --> 00:12:00,051
Oh, no! Help! Help!
265
00:12:00,962 --> 00:12:02,779
Help me!
266
00:12:02,872 --> 00:12:05,114
What? We can't hear you!
267
00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:09,135
Our voices are very faint
because we are so distant!
268
00:12:09,287 --> 00:12:11,120
Distant from you, he means!
269
00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:12,880
We're not distant
from each other!
270
00:12:12,974 --> 00:12:15,141
We're standing
relatively close together!
271
00:12:15,293 --> 00:12:18,127
You probably were
already able to infer that,
272
00:12:18,146 --> 00:12:20,888
and Connor just
wasted everyone's time!
273
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,556
My God. I...
274
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:23,908
I'm stuck up here.
275
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,202
Better use my emergency flare.
276
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,750
We've got a flare.
277
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,720
I'm still stuck, but
now I have confidence.
278
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,003
My foot is still stuck,
279
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,800
and it's really
starting to hurt.
280
00:12:45,824 --> 00:12:47,985
And I know you're going
to be insufferable about this.
281
00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:49,325
Stewie, come on.
282
00:12:49,344 --> 00:12:51,224
Right now your
safety is what matters.
283
00:12:51,329 --> 00:12:53,587
And you've got an
owie in need of attention.
284
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:57,025
I'm gonna have to radio basecamp
for help on my Elmo phone.
285
00:12:58,169 --> 00:13:00,111
Elmo love you so much!
286
00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:02,171
Basecamp. Come in, basecamp.
287
00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:03,339
Elmo your friend.
288
00:13:03,432 --> 00:13:04,598
Elmo, we've got a man down.
289
00:13:04,692 --> 00:13:06,600
I need you to connect
me with search and rescue.
290
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,620
Please don't believe
rumors about Elmo.
291
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:12,015
Just to be safe, Elmo
play with you at least 500 yards
292
00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:14,775
- from school or public park...
- I'm having trouble hearing you, Elmo.
293
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,019
Are you there?
294
00:13:16,037 --> 00:13:17,870
Elmo? Elmo?
295
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,281
Hello? Dammit,
I've lost basecamp.
296
00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:23,192
Must be interference
from that big storm coming.
297
00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:27,972
Too dangerous to
risk going for help now.
298
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:30,332
I think we're gonna
have to wait it out, Stewie.
299
00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:33,144
Just you and me, and
the homeless people
300
00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:35,496
who live and copulate in the
playground among children.
301
00:13:35,707 --> 00:13:37,816
Yes, we as a society
have clearly just decided
302
00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:39,526
we're gonna roll with that.
303
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:47,733
Peter, what are you doing?
304
00:13:47,886 --> 00:13:49,472
Well, you know how you
told me to give up the '80s
305
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,996
and find a whole
different decade to be into?
306
00:13:52,223 --> 00:13:54,815
- No, that's not what I...
- Well, I'm doin' the 1920s!
307
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:58,711
Not 'cause of legal cocaine but
mostly 'cause of legal cocaine.
308
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:04,217
Time to design a very
stupid flying contraption.
309
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:08,162
Cocaine plane!
310
00:14:13,336 --> 00:14:16,913
Um, why is Dad
dressed like that now?
311
00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:21,842
Oh, Lord, Peter, did you switch
to the 1910s for silent movies?
312
00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:34,113
Enough of this!
313
00:14:34,265 --> 00:14:36,933
Oh, you are so damned
exhausting, Peter!
314
00:14:36,951 --> 00:14:39,435
Just 'cause you stop being
crazy about one decade
315
00:14:39,454 --> 00:14:41,574
doesn't mean you have
to be crazy about another!
316
00:14:41,697 --> 00:14:45,108
How about you just be a
normal human being for once?!
317
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:47,552
Huh? Just be a... Be
a husband to your wife!
318
00:14:47,779 --> 00:14:49,779
Be a father to your children!
319
00:14:49,797 --> 00:14:51,205
You're right, Lois.
320
00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:53,040
No matter how hard I try,
321
00:14:53,134 --> 00:14:54,945
I'll never find a decade
as good as the '80s,
322
00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:56,318
like you just said just now.
323
00:14:56,346 --> 00:14:58,137
No, again, that's
not at all what I...
324
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,231
I need to be alone.
325
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,141
If anyone calls,
I'll be in the '70s
326
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,961
doing the
might-as-well-be-legal cocaine.
327
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:09,157
The winner of the war on drugs.
328
00:15:13,138 --> 00:15:15,132
Thank you for taking
care of me, Doug.
329
00:15:15,156 --> 00:15:17,807
Look, Stewie, I
want to apologize.
330
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,308
You do? For what?
331
00:15:19,402 --> 00:15:22,236
For always showing you
up and just being a jerk.
332
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,481
I think I'm just intimidated
by your brilliance.
333
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,092
Plus, it's so great
you've only got nine hairs.
334
00:15:28,319 --> 00:15:29,797
It probably takes
you three seconds
335
00:15:29,821 --> 00:15:30,889
to get ready in the morning.
336
00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:32,655
Me, I've got this
whole head of hair.
337
00:15:32,674 --> 00:15:35,082
That's not quite as nice
as you meant for it to sound,
338
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,435
but since we're
confessing our insecurities...
339
00:15:37,586 --> 00:15:40,754
I'm not exactly the,
um, I don't know,
340
00:15:40,848 --> 00:15:43,182
"slick cucumber"
everyone thinks I am.
341
00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:45,259
- "Slick cucumber"?
- I mean, sure,
342
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,520
maybe on the outside,
but I can only wish I had
343
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:51,765
- that slick cucumber deep inside...
- I'm getting lost, here, Stewie.
344
00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:53,219
Like, sometimes I mention having
345
00:15:53,269 --> 00:15:55,178
a supermodel
girlfriend in Norway.
346
00:15:55,271 --> 00:15:57,604
Well I... I'm gonna
be honest, um,
347
00:15:57,699 --> 00:15:59,273
she's not a supermodel.
348
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:01,275
She's basically
mid-level, at best.
349
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,869
Like, she's kind of a pocket
client at some agencies,
350
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,775
but it's so political
over there in Sweden.
351
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,690
Thought you said Norway.
352
00:16:07,709 --> 00:16:09,853
Meanwhile, you're this
cool kid on the block.
353
00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:11,711
You're all confident.
You can snap.
354
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,196
You mean this?
355
00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:15,548
Yeah, that's like
bloody witchcraft to me.
356
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:17,383
Anyway, deep down, I...
357
00:16:17,535 --> 00:16:19,719
I-I've always wanted
your approval.
358
00:16:19,871 --> 00:16:22,129
But now, tonight,
359
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,374
you've given me something
much more valuable:
360
00:16:25,393 --> 00:16:26,693
your friendship.
361
00:16:27,803 --> 00:16:30,379
- Here. You can have it.
- What?
362
00:16:30,398 --> 00:16:32,048
I don't need the
Frisbee anymore.
363
00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:34,325
Take it, friend.
364
00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:47,321
I won, everyone! I won!
365
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,899
Other kids, Stewie lost,
366
00:16:49,917 --> 00:16:52,068
and he deserves our ridicule!
367
00:16:52,161 --> 00:16:53,344
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait!
368
00:16:53,571 --> 00:16:55,733
And there was
a weird cucumber thing!
369
00:16:55,757 --> 00:16:57,073
That son of a bitch.
370
00:16:57,166 --> 00:17:00,643
Come back here!
371
00:17:03,598 --> 00:17:06,082
Oh, you can do
it, Stewie, for sure.
372
00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:10,102
Free your foot, and together
we will bump wieners.
373
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:13,013
But it's stuck, Norwegian
Mid-Level Model Girlfriend.
374
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:16,259
Oh, just untie
your shoe, is how.
375
00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:17,702
Oh! Duh!
376
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,855
Stewie, when will you free me
377
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,766
from this thought bubble hell?
378
00:17:23,785 --> 00:17:24,950
Not for a while.
379
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:27,336
I may need you
if I run for office.
380
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:35,035
- Stewie!
- You were manipulating me.
381
00:17:35,129 --> 00:17:37,296
You were only being
nice to get the Frisbee!
382
00:17:37,448 --> 00:17:41,708
Sorry, Stewie, but all's
fair in love and jungle gyms.
383
00:17:51,296 --> 00:17:52,528
Ha!
384
00:17:53,798 --> 00:17:55,722
- Wh-Wh-Whoa!
- Doug!
385
00:18:00,321 --> 00:18:02,154
Please hang on, Stewie!
386
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,730
I've got this, my friend.
387
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:07,251
This is when that slick cucumber
deep inside of me comes out.
388
00:18:07,478 --> 00:18:10,571
Oh... okay.
389
00:18:10,665 --> 00:18:13,649
You're gonna hate me,
but I really need to take this.
390
00:18:13,742 --> 00:18:14,333
Don't you dare!
391
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,760
But it might be Bruce Lee
392
00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:18,504
finally calling to admit
that I'm the best at kung fu!
393
00:18:18,656 --> 00:18:21,216
This is your one chance, Stewie.
394
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,843
I will not call you
a second time.
395
00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:33,169
Who am I if I can't
reference the '80s?
396
00:18:33,187 --> 00:18:36,447
If I can't live in the past,
there's no future for me.
397
00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:39,784
Boy, who knew when
you stop doing cocaine,
398
00:18:39,935 --> 00:18:42,161
- you get depressed?
- Peter.
399
00:18:44,682 --> 00:18:48,459
The ghost of '80s
film director John Hughes?
400
00:18:48,611 --> 00:18:52,296
Yes, Peter. I've come to
tell you that Lois is right.
401
00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:54,874
You need to let the '80s go.
402
00:18:55,026 --> 00:18:56,542
But... I don't understand.
403
00:18:56,694 --> 00:18:59,362
Listen, when we were
making art in the 1980s,
404
00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:02,140
we were just having
fun and trying new things.
405
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:04,642
Stop recreating the '80s, Peter.
406
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:05,793
They're gone.
407
00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:08,462
Get out there and
make your own '80s.
408
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,814
Today.
409
00:19:15,304 --> 00:19:18,138
After all,
life moves pretty fast.
410
00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:20,491
If you don't stop
and look around once in a while,
411
00:19:20,718 --> 00:19:23,219
- you could miss it.
- Ah! Like the movie!
412
00:19:23,312 --> 00:19:24,978
I have to go, Peter.
413
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,223
- Goodbye.
- Wait! Wait!
414
00:19:27,241 --> 00:19:28,310
You want to know
my favorite thing
415
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,059
from any of your movies ever?
416
00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:32,336
- Was it the giant pancake?
- Yes, the giant pancake!
417
00:19:32,563 --> 00:19:34,730
In heaven, are the pancakes big
418
00:19:34,749 --> 00:19:35,989
like they are in Uncle Buck?
419
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,175
I wouldn't know, Peter.
420
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:39,568
I'm currently frying in hell.
421
00:19:39,587 --> 00:19:42,738
What?!
But-but you were pretty good.
422
00:19:42,757 --> 00:19:47,226
You have to be very good!
423
00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,982
Doug, I can't hold on
much longer.
424
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,010
It's been an honor, friend.
425
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,091
Oh. W-We weren't...
we weren't very high up there.
426
00:20:02,184 --> 00:20:04,593
No, I guess it just seemed
higher to us,
427
00:20:04,612 --> 00:20:06,871
because of perspective
and what-have-you.
428
00:20:07,098 --> 00:20:09,540
At any rate...
Hey, gang? Gang!
429
00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:10,766
Here's your Frisbee.
430
00:20:10,785 --> 00:20:13,436
Stewie and I got it...
431
00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:16,214
- together.
- Yes. Together.
432
00:20:16,441 --> 00:20:18,121
We're different kids
from before,
433
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,426
so that means nothing to us.
434
00:20:26,634 --> 00:20:29,452
- We had quite the adventure.
- Yes, we did.
435
00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,395
And at the end of it all,
I, uh...
436
00:20:31,547 --> 00:20:32,950
I hope we've come
to see each other
437
00:20:32,974 --> 00:20:34,881
through slightly different eyes.
438
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,400
We certainly have.
439
00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:37,643
Hey, who knows?
440
00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:39,987
Maybe someday they'll make
a movie about us.
441
00:20:41,632 --> 00:20:44,467
This summer, don't miss
Jungle Gym Mountain,
442
00:20:44,485 --> 00:20:46,652
starring Chris Pine as Doug...
443
00:20:46,804 --> 00:20:47,728
What?
444
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,581
And Paul Giamatti as Stewie.
445
00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:51,807
Come on!
446
00:20:51,826 --> 00:20:53,993
Help.
I crapped my pants,
447
00:20:54,145 --> 00:20:56,903
- and I'm afraid of heights.
- I'm out of here.
448
00:20:56,923 --> 00:21:00,499
And Chris Hemsworth
as Thought Bubble Girlfriend.
449
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,426
I'll give it a shot.
450
00:21:04,577 --> 00:21:06,577
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