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1
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,007
Hey, Jocelyn, uh,
2
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,843
would you ever tag me
in one of your videos?
3
00:00:10,926 --> 00:00:13,596
I'd love to get more followers.
- I'll do it for 50 bucks.
4
00:00:13,679 --> 00:00:15,765
Whoa, Whitney,
you look like shit.
5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,391
Uh, sorry, I didn't realize
6
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,602
this dorm meeting
was a formal event.
7
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,019
No, it's amazing.
8
00:00:21,103 --> 00:00:22,748
You look like a celebrity
taking out the trash.
9
00:00:22,771 --> 00:00:24,565
I wish I had the confidence
to look that bad.
10
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:26,984
All right,
my favorite FreshThem.
11
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,111
As you know,
it is Parents' Weekend.
12
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,612
Yay.
13
00:00:30,696 --> 00:00:32,508
My juggling group will be
performing at the brunch,
14
00:00:32,531 --> 00:00:34,993
if you are looking
for something super fun to do.
15
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,661
Ooh, Whitney, I'd love to fit in
16
00:00:36,744 --> 00:00:38,036
a quick TikTok with your mom.
17
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,747
I mean, it is sponsored
by Chex Mix,
18
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,625
so she cannot mention
any other crunchy snack brands.
19
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,795
All right, look, I get
that my mom is exciting,
20
00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:47,338
but my dad's coming, too.
21
00:00:47,421 --> 00:00:48,756
He's pretty cool.
He's a musician.
22
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,091
Whoa.
23
00:00:50,174 --> 00:00:51,759
- I can't find him online.
Is he famous?
24
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,554
He's a very well respected
bassist in the Bay Area.
25
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,347
Well, if your mom
wasn't a senator,
26
00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:57,973
that would probably be cooler.
27
00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:00,643
Frude, I'm just gonna
jump in here for a second.
28
00:01:00,726 --> 00:01:02,311
Um, before our families arrive,
29
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,188
I think we should
all quickly share any lies
30
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,375
we've told them that we'd like
each other to corroborate.
31
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,067
- Oh, hell, yes.
Yes, that's smart.
32
00:01:08,150 --> 00:01:10,486
Finally, an actual reason
to have one of these meetings.
33
00:01:10,569 --> 00:01:11,862
- Hey.
- I'll start.
34
00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:13,739
My parents think
I'm a neuroscience major,
35
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,033
which I'm clearly not.
36
00:01:15,115 --> 00:01:17,159
Also, they think
I've washed my sheets.
37
00:01:17,242 --> 00:01:18,721
I told my dad
that all of our textbooks
38
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,037
come from Net-a-Porter,
39
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,390
and that is
why he's getting charges.
40
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,790
Oh, good one.
41
00:01:22,873 --> 00:01:24,560
My parents think I go
to church every weekend.
42
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,503
I made up a priest.
His name is Father Steve.
43
00:01:26,585 --> 00:01:28,105
And he's guiding me
on my faith journey.
44
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,421
So good.
45
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,275
I told my mom I joined
the Young Republicans.
46
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,091
I didn't. I'm just trying
to fuck with her.
47
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,676
But please corroborate.
48
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,638
My parents cannot know I'm gay.
49
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,055
- Oh.
- What?
50
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,450
Might want to change that shirt.
51
00:01:39,473 --> 00:01:41,850
All right,
I have about 50 of them.
52
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,144
- Wow.
- All right.
53
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,354
No one mention
my fake ID business
54
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,899
or my OnlyFans or my...
I am leaving the room.
55
00:01:47,981 --> 00:01:51,735
I cannot hear these things,
and I am leaving the room.
56
00:01:51,819 --> 00:01:55,531
♪ Don't say you were there
when you weren't ♪
57
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,033
♪ 'Cause I don't think ♪
58
00:01:57,115 --> 00:01:59,368
♪ You were there
when I was hurtin' ♪
59
00:01:59,451 --> 00:02:03,540
♪ And now I don't know
if I want to come home ♪
60
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,290
♪ No, I don't know... ♪
61
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,043
[laughs] So I said to Barack,
62
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:08,794
"You cannot break
the glass ceiling
63
00:02:08,877 --> 00:02:11,381
without getting
some glass in your eye."
64
00:02:11,463 --> 00:02:12,799
[laughing]
65
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,592
My mom is so fake, it's insane.
66
00:02:14,675 --> 00:02:17,052
I think she's very inspiring.
67
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,722
Are you wearing,
like, an African dress?
68
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,432
- It's not African.
It's tribal-themed.
69
00:02:22,516 --> 00:02:24,157
I was invited
to the Black Affinity House.
70
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,603
I wanted to show some respect.
71
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,063
Well, you look like
a Nigerian prom queen.
72
00:02:28,146 --> 00:02:30,817
- Damn it.
- I'm sorry.
73
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,319
Hey, do you know how fancy
this restaurant
74
00:02:33,402 --> 00:02:34,903
Leighton chose for tonight is?
75
00:02:34,987 --> 00:02:36,757
Some websites are saying
three out of four dollar signs
76
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,408
and others are saying four.
77
00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:40,450
- Uh, yeah, I have no idea.
- Hi.
78
00:02:40,534 --> 00:02:43,413
[gasps] Senator Chase,
that was incredible.
79
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,807
Representation matters.
- [chuckles]
80
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,456
I think it was
Frederick Douglass
81
00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:48,459
who once said...
I can't. I'm sorry, I can't.
82
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,461
Do you mind getting a scone
or something?
83
00:02:51,545 --> 00:02:52,796
Absolutely.
84
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:56,091
[indistinct chatter]
- [chuckles]
85
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,759
Is that girl wearing a dashiki?
86
00:02:57,843 --> 00:02:59,387
- She is.
- Mm.
87
00:02:59,469 --> 00:03:01,490
Uh, hey, Mom, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
88
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,931
It's kind of personal.
89
00:03:03,015 --> 00:03:05,518
Well, can we do it Sunday
between 3:30 and 4:30?
90
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,021
I have a board meeting, and
then I have to cut the ribbon
91
00:03:08,103 --> 00:03:10,939
for a new all-gender bathroom
at the business school.
92
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,442
You know what? Never mind.
93
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,401
I'll just see you
at the restaurant, whatever.
94
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,820
Thanks, honey,
for being so flexible.
95
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,865
[indistinct chatter]
96
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:22,868
[pop music]
97
00:03:22,951 --> 00:03:26,580
♪ ♪
98
00:03:26,663 --> 00:03:28,875
No, no, no!
99
00:03:28,957 --> 00:03:31,169
Guys, we got to throw
the leaves much higher.
100
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,046
They got to explode up
into the air, okay?
101
00:03:34,129 --> 00:03:35,715
Dad, can we please stop,
all right?
102
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,133
This is so embarrassing.
103
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,301
Honey, this picture
is very important to me.
104
00:03:39,384 --> 00:03:41,219
I have dreamed of us
being an Essex family
105
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,347
since you were a baby.
106
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,973
Come on,
I want it to be perfect.
107
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,308
What about the student-loan
protest behind us?
108
00:03:46,391 --> 00:03:48,978
[sighs] We're lucky
to even have student loans.
109
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:52,189
I don't know. Maybe I can scrub
it out later, okay?
110
00:03:52,272 --> 00:03:53,733
Let's just go again real fast
111
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,776
before the sun goes
behind the library tower.
112
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:58,655
Okay, everybody
get 30% more leaves.
113
00:03:58,737 --> 00:04:02,407
30%, these are artisanal
foliage, very expensive.
114
00:04:02,491 --> 00:04:05,620
Big smiles, perfect family,
perfect family.
115
00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:08,038
Holy shit.
116
00:04:09,373 --> 00:04:11,084
Here we go.
117
00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:14,252
Leighton, pay attention.
118
00:04:14,336 --> 00:04:16,213
My facialist begged me
to stay out of the sun.
119
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:17,464
Sorry.
120
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,175
- Protect Mommy's face.
Here we go.
121
00:04:19,257 --> 00:04:21,970
Three, two, one, leaves.
[camera shutter clicking]
122
00:04:22,052 --> 00:04:24,137
Perfect. That's the one.
That's the one.
123
00:04:24,221 --> 00:04:27,516
- I think we did it.
- That's my shit right there.
124
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,435
Yes!
Perfect New England family!
125
00:04:30,519 --> 00:04:33,480
[moody rock music]
126
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:34,983
♪♪
127
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,985
So this is my absolute
favorite class.
128
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,196
It's called
biochemistry and biophysics.
129
00:04:40,278 --> 00:04:42,365
It meets twice a week,
but, honestly, it's so fun,
130
00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:44,367
I wish it met three times.
131
00:04:44,449 --> 00:04:47,245
Seems so impressive, beta.
132
00:04:47,327 --> 00:04:50,206
So many smart-looking boys.
133
00:04:50,288 --> 00:04:52,250
Yeah, these are my people.
134
00:04:52,332 --> 00:04:53,500
Good afternoon.
135
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,961
It's nice to see
the parental elements
136
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:59,048
that combined to create
the student compounds.
137
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,300
- [laughing]
- Dad, cool it.
138
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,343
He's a very funny man.
139
00:05:03,427 --> 00:05:06,389
[jazzy piano music]
140
00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:09,809
♪ ♪
141
00:05:09,891 --> 00:05:11,894
Don't scratch that car.
142
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,562
[chuckles]
143
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,440
Dad, you're not gonna be
a dick to Whitney's mom, right?
144
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:19,067
No one needs Sean Hannity
at dinner tonight.
145
00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:20,944
No, I'm not gonna be a dick.
146
00:05:21,028 --> 00:05:23,572
I'm only gonna ask
about her insane stance
147
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,074
on inheritance tax.
148
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,286
So this is the nicest
restaurant near campus?
149
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,329
So sorry it's not
the Polo Lounge.
150
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,749
It's just so earnest.
151
00:05:32,831 --> 00:05:34,625
Mom, it's good, chill.
152
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,668
Leight, you picked
a great place.
153
00:05:36,752 --> 00:05:38,879
I love how unpretentious
you are, Nicholas.
154
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,941
Oh, and you've gotten so built
since you've been here.
155
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,466
I hardly recognize you.
156
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,028
Still doesn't make it
any more socially acceptable
157
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,427
that you want
to have sex with him.
158
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,230
- Leighton Murray.
- Jesus Christ, Leighton.
159
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,764
Please don't suggest
160
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,451
that your mom wants
to have sex with your brother.
161
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,850
It's disgusting.
162
00:05:51,933 --> 00:05:53,685
Plus, Nico could do
so much better than me.
163
00:05:53,769 --> 00:05:55,646
- Yes.
- Let's just find our table.
164
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,066
Wonderful.
165
00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,149
Hi.
166
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,735
[indistinct chatter]
167
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,613
- Oh, there's my girl.
- Hi.
168
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:08,283
[laughs] Ah!
169
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:12,245
All right, uh,
you're wearing this?
170
00:06:12,329 --> 00:06:16,625
I mean, it's on my body,
so, yes.
171
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,043
Well, you know what?
172
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:21,213
With this figure,
you could pull off anything.
173
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,298
[chuckles]
174
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:25,718
Your dad's not here yet.
175
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,428
You can stay out here
if you want to.
176
00:06:28,512 --> 00:06:35,603
♪ ♪
177
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,276
Oh, no.
178
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,029
I was so worried
about underdressing
179
00:06:46,113 --> 00:06:47,572
that we overdressed.
180
00:06:47,656 --> 00:06:50,492
- Nonsense.
We look festive.
181
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,744
Come on.
182
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:57,500
- Hi.
- Sorry we're late.
183
00:06:57,582 --> 00:07:00,502
Are you going to an event
after this?
184
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,798
Um, we're only attending
this dinner.
185
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,757
Well, I think they look great.
186
00:07:05,841 --> 00:07:07,009
Well, welcome.
187
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,011
They're excited to be here
as am I.
188
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,098
I told my security,
unless the president is dead,
189
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:14,182
do not interrupt me.
190
00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:17,353
[awkward laughter]
191
00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:23,692
I brought little surprise
gifts for the girls.
192
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,110
Here you go.
193
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,572
The elderly woman
across the street makes them,
194
00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:29,949
keeps her dementia at bay, so...
195
00:07:30,031 --> 00:07:33,827
- Thank you, Ms. Finkle.
- Sure. They're purse hooks.
196
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:37,165
You hang 'em, then our bags
never have to touch the ground.
197
00:07:37,247 --> 00:07:39,082
[laughs]
198
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,209
Bela, you should invent
something like this,
199
00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:42,933
like that woman
who invented the underwear
200
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,005
that pulls your stomach in.
201
00:07:45,088 --> 00:07:46,465
She's very rich.
202
00:07:46,548 --> 00:07:49,009
- Mm, yeah, I've invested.
I'll tell you that.
203
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:52,305
Evette, can I just say what
an honor it is to meet you?
204
00:07:52,387 --> 00:07:54,432
Thank you.
205
00:07:54,514 --> 00:07:56,725
May I ask...
did you fly here private
206
00:07:56,808 --> 00:07:59,312
or first-class
on the taxpayers' dollar?
207
00:07:59,394 --> 00:08:01,271
- Dad.
- [laughs]
208
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:04,149
I actually do fly private
because of the death threats.
209
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,903
You must know what it's like
to have people want you dead.
210
00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:08,737
[laughter]
211
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,908
- That's great, that's great.
Beautiful and funny.
212
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,408
Oh, I'm sorry,
213
00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:16,077
I forgot it's a crime to give
a woman compliments now.
214
00:08:16,161 --> 00:08:18,747
Well, when I hear one,
I'll let you know. [laughs]
215
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,790
Super chilly outside, isn't it?
216
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,394
Yeah, how cold
do we all think it is?
217
00:08:22,459 --> 00:08:25,420
Mom, do you want to guess?
- Oh, jeez, I'd love to.
218
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:26,422
Okay.
219
00:08:26,504 --> 00:08:32,345
♪ ♪
220
00:08:32,427 --> 00:08:34,721
"Price upon request."
221
00:08:34,804 --> 00:08:36,932
They never do that
when it's cheap, do they?
222
00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:39,100
[chuckles]
- Is this place okay, Kimberly?
223
00:08:39,184 --> 00:08:41,269
This is a lovely choice,
Leighton.
224
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,355
If everyone's ready,
I'll flag down the waiter.
225
00:08:43,438 --> 00:08:45,024
- Yes.
- Oh, sorry.
226
00:08:45,106 --> 00:08:47,317
I think we're still waiting
for my dad, if that's okay.
227
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,653
I mean, did he give an ETA?
228
00:08:48,735 --> 00:08:51,279
Oh, I'm sure
he'll be here very soon.
229
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,950
♪ ♪
230
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,034
This bread is so pretty.
231
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,412
I'm gonna take a picture
for your dad.
232
00:08:58,495 --> 00:08:59,580
He loves art.
233
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,130
- Yay!
That's a good one.
234
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,299
Um, everyone, well,
235
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,595
I'd like to say what a delight
it is to see all of you again.
236
00:09:14,678 --> 00:09:18,390
And so, to that end,
I will be treating tonight.
237
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:21,936
- Oh, that's so generous.
Thank you so much.
238
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,272
- No, no, we should split it.
- Oh, Mr. Malhotra,
239
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:25,916
it really seems
like he would like to pay.
240
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:29,067
- I cannot allow that.
- No, just let him pay!
241
00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:31,320
♪ ♪
242
00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:33,322
I actually insist we split it.
243
00:09:33,405 --> 00:09:35,240
Legally any gift or meal
244
00:09:35,323 --> 00:09:38,326
that I receive over $50
is considered a bribe.
245
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,828
Okay.
246
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:43,164
Just so you know, the purse
hooks were under $50.
247
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,834
- [sighs]
- Are you okay?
248
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,043
Yeah.
249
00:09:46,126 --> 00:09:48,169
You're just scratching
your neck a lot.
250
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,172
- It's fine. It's hives.
It's normal.
251
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:51,798
Excuse me.
252
00:09:56,011 --> 00:09:57,763
I get it, my hives
are disgusting.
253
00:09:57,846 --> 00:09:59,849
I think this dress
is making it worse.
254
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,643
Take my credit card
for your share of dinner?
255
00:10:02,726 --> 00:10:04,394
- No.
- You are clearly stressed out
256
00:10:04,477 --> 00:10:05,687
about how much it costs.
257
00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:07,398
All right, I feel terrible.
258
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,625
Then why did you choose
such an expensive restaurant?
259
00:10:09,649 --> 00:10:11,152
There are things on this menu
260
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:12,921
that cost more than
my mom's plane ticket here.
261
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,279
Just please take my card.
262
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,197
Okay, my parents
won't even notice it
263
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,868
on the statement, really,
just...
264
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,369
please.
265
00:10:21,953 --> 00:10:25,206
Thank you, Leighton.
266
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,294
♪ ♪
267
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:30,587
- Everything good?
- Mm-hmm.
268
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:33,341
- I'm sorry.
We really need to order.
269
00:10:33,423 --> 00:10:35,216
My wife's blood sugar
is spiking.
270
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,010
It's true. I could faint.
271
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,947
Maybe Nico could catch me
with those strong arms.
272
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,599
- Mom, chill.
Just have some bread.
273
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,475
- I'm having bread.
- Stop it.
274
00:10:43,558 --> 00:10:45,101
Why would you tell me
to stop it?
275
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,788
- Please stop it.
You're embarrassing yourself.
276
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,190
- I'm embarrassing no one.
- It is Parents' Weekend.
277
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:51,192
It is Parents' Weekend,
so act like a parent.
278
00:10:51,274 --> 00:10:52,735
What is that supposed to mean?
279
00:10:52,817 --> 00:10:53,943
You know what it means.
280
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,654
Let's get
to the important stuff.
281
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,325
Your love lives.
- [chuckles] Oh.
282
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,951
Who has a boyfriend?
283
00:11:01,034 --> 00:11:03,370
Mom, we've literally
been here for, like, six weeks.
284
00:11:03,453 --> 00:11:05,038
Whitney, you're gorgeous.
285
00:11:05,121 --> 00:11:06,999
I'm sure someone's
caught your eye.
286
00:11:07,082 --> 00:11:08,375
Not really.
287
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:10,543
I'm too busy with soccer
to have a boyfriend.
288
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:13,798
- Oh, boo.
[cell phone vibrates]
289
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,841
- Oh, excuse me.
I have to take this.
290
00:11:15,924 --> 00:11:17,967
Can you order my dad
the rack of lamb?
291
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,303
He'll be here so soon.
- Yeah, of course.
292
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,764
Thankfully for us,
293
00:11:21,846 --> 00:11:24,767
Bela has never been
too distracted by boys.
294
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:28,312
[laughter]
295
00:11:28,395 --> 00:11:29,480
What's so funny?
296
00:11:29,562 --> 00:11:31,524
Bela is the biggest...
297
00:11:31,606 --> 00:11:33,192
Bookworm.
298
00:11:33,274 --> 00:11:35,110
I'm always studying.
299
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:39,407
The Asian way...
that's very smart of you.
300
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,493
Kimberly, what about you?
Are you dating anyone?
301
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:45,120
Oh, no, I don't have
a dating... a boyfriend.
302
00:11:45,203 --> 00:11:46,455
I'm not dating a boyfriend.
303
00:11:46,538 --> 00:11:49,082
Oh, your nerves say otherwise.
304
00:11:49,165 --> 00:11:52,586
- Are you seeing someone?
- No, I'm definitely not.
305
00:11:52,669 --> 00:11:54,379
Mom, stop badgering them.
306
00:11:54,462 --> 00:11:56,756
Maybe they don't want to
discuss their private lives
307
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,591
with you, huh?
- I'm ordering.
308
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,344
Hey, are you
at the train station?
309
00:12:00,427 --> 00:12:02,138
I can take Mom's car
and come get you.
310
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,972
Honey, I'm in San Jose.
311
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,225
You're in San Jose? Why?
312
00:12:06,307 --> 00:12:07,976
Actually, pretty exciting.
313
00:12:08,059 --> 00:12:10,645
The Barbary Coast needed
a bassist to fill in tonight,
314
00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:11,729
and I said, yes.
315
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:13,149
But it's Parents' Weekend.
316
00:12:13,231 --> 00:12:15,900
- I know, honey.
I wish I could be there.
317
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,195
But, Dad...
318
00:12:18,278 --> 00:12:19,864
Are you serious?
319
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:23,993
Honey, I just want to make
something of myself.
320
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,162
Uh, I'm happy for you.
321
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:27,996
I love you.
322
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:28,998
Love you, too.
323
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,416
Have fun.
324
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,043
♪ ♪
325
00:12:33,126 --> 00:12:34,503
[toilet flushes]
326
00:12:34,586 --> 00:12:36,838
[sighs] Kimberly
and her mother are so sweet.
327
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:41,594
Bless their hearts.
And this sad little thing...
328
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,011
Mom, that was a gift.
329
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,822
At least wrap it
in a paper towel or something
330
00:12:44,846 --> 00:12:46,182
before you throw it
in the trash.
331
00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:47,432
Whatever, isn't it funny
332
00:12:47,515 --> 00:12:49,184
how the ones
with the cheapest purses
333
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,854
are always the most concerned
about getting them dirty?
334
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,273
- Okay, I get it, all right?
You hate my roommates.
335
00:12:54,355 --> 00:12:55,816
Great, let's move on.
336
00:12:55,899 --> 00:12:57,692
- Oh, I don't hate them.
They're just...
337
00:12:57,775 --> 00:13:00,613
they're not as sophisticated
as your friends back home,
338
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:03,573
and you have to admit
these girls are quirky.
339
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:04,950
[scoffs] As quirky as you?
340
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:07,995
An anorexic housewife
who shoplifts?
341
00:13:11,789 --> 00:13:13,250
Mom, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean...
342
00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:15,878
You think you are so much
better than me,
343
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,840
but, sweetheart,
you and I are exactly the same.
344
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:29,807
♪ ♪
345
00:13:31,351 --> 00:13:32,937
Wow, Carol, thank you.
346
00:13:33,019 --> 00:13:35,648
This is so convenient.
Thank you so much.
347
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:37,566
You're welcome.
348
00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:39,567
Wait, this shit actually works
349
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,904
Yeah, Mrs. Pratt says
it can hold up to 45 pounds.
350
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,572
Yes!
351
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,576
Well, not to be
a nagging parent,
352
00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:49,912
but what is everyone
majoring in?
353
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,081
When I went to Stanford,
I was a double major
354
00:13:52,163 --> 00:13:55,250
in African American studies
and women's studies.
355
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,461
- [chuckles]
- Is there something funny?
356
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:04,259
Just all these majors
with "studies" after it...
357
00:14:04,342 --> 00:14:08,264
you know, gender studies,
Islamic studies.
358
00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:10,115
Whatever happened
to good old-fashioned degrees,
359
00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:14,477
like chem, econ,
history, you know?
360
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,063
I'm majoring in neuroscience.
361
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,399
- Oh.
- It's my passion.
362
00:14:19,482 --> 00:14:21,568
Beta,
isn't that Professor Harpin?
363
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,611
You should go to his table
and greet him.
364
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,154
It shows respect.
365
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,091
- I don't want to bother him.
He's with his wife.
366
00:14:27,115 --> 00:14:28,842
What if she's leaving him
or telling him she's gay?
367
00:14:28,866 --> 00:14:31,662
That could be hella awkward.
- What nonsense.
368
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,871
Go say hi right now.
369
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,125
Uh, I will be back.
370
00:14:38,918 --> 00:14:40,379
Good girl, she's a good girl.
371
00:14:40,461 --> 00:14:43,381
[indistinct chatter]
372
00:14:45,466 --> 00:14:48,261
Hey, Prof, it's Bela
from biochem.
373
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,904
I just want to say,
great lecture today.
374
00:14:49,929 --> 00:14:51,682
Actually,
all your lectures are great,
375
00:14:51,764 --> 00:14:53,892
but today's was a banger.
376
00:14:53,975 --> 00:14:55,644
Thanks.
377
00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:57,104
Wonderful lecture today.
378
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:59,731
Nevaan Malhotra, Bela's father.
379
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,859
I wanted to thank you
with something.
380
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:05,153
Show this card
at any Subway restaurant,
381
00:15:05,236 --> 00:15:07,364
and you'll be pleased you did.
382
00:15:07,447 --> 00:15:10,576
Um, I'm sorry, but I think
there's been a mistake.
383
00:15:10,658 --> 00:15:13,703
I pride myself
knowing my students,
384
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,206
and you're not one of them.
385
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:21,336
Nico, how's French going?
386
00:15:21,419 --> 00:15:22,546
Oh.
387
00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:24,548
Oh, Kimmy's taking French, too.
388
00:15:24,631 --> 00:15:26,424
Let me hear something
from you guys.
389
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,802
I want to hear this French.
[Nicholas chuckles]
390
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,979
[laughter]
391
00:15:43,274 --> 00:15:45,402
Ah, isn't he good?
392
00:15:46,903 --> 00:15:48,154
[laughter]
393
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:51,616
I wish I understood them,
but I don't!
394
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:56,080
- Who ordered the rack of lamb?
- Oh, uh, just put it here.
395
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:59,500
My father won't be joining us
tonight.
396
00:15:59,582 --> 00:16:03,128
Wait, he's not making
Parents' Weekend?
397
00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:05,129
Oh, sweetheart, that's horrible.
398
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:08,384
Oh, it was kind of
a work emergency.
399
00:16:08,466 --> 00:16:12,096
- Work emergency?
I thought he was a musician.
400
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,057
Uh-uh, no.
401
00:16:15,139 --> 00:16:18,018
Look, I do not like
my ex-husband.
402
00:16:18,101 --> 00:16:19,561
He's a flake,
403
00:16:19,644 --> 00:16:22,063
and I don't think he owns one
single button-down shirt,
404
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:25,567
but you do not make
my daughter feel bad about it.
405
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:28,153
- Evette, I did not...
- It's Senator Chase, Henry.
406
00:16:28,236 --> 00:16:29,529
I saw the little eye-roll
407
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,698
you gave your wife
about my ex-husband.
408
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,241
Don't do that to my kid.
409
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,827
You wait until you get
to the hotel for that shit.
410
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,620
Come on!
411
00:16:39,706 --> 00:16:41,500
Whitney, I'm so sorry.
412
00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:45,169
It's okay.
413
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,259
[sighs]
414
00:16:50,341 --> 00:16:55,264
♪ ♪
415
00:16:55,346 --> 00:16:58,015
Reena, may we borrow you
for a family conversation?
416
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:02,019
Bela has something to explain
out back behind the restaurant.
417
00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:05,148
Excuse me.
418
00:17:05,231 --> 00:17:09,028
♪ ♪
419
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,778
How could you lie
to us like that?
420
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,324
I can't believe I almost
gave him a golden Subway card.
421
00:17:14,407 --> 00:17:15,909
That's unlimited subs.
422
00:17:15,992 --> 00:17:17,846
I'm sorry, I'm not taking
biochem because I know
423
00:17:17,869 --> 00:17:20,788
what I want to do with my life,
and it's not being a doctor.
424
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,040
I want to be a comedy writer.
- [scoffs]
425
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,710
And I'm, like, making progress
426
00:17:24,792 --> 00:17:27,253
and pledging a really exclusive
comedy-writing group.
427
00:17:27,336 --> 00:17:28,881
And you guys love
the funny stuff.
428
00:17:28,963 --> 00:17:31,215
I like "Young Sheldon,"
and that is it.
429
00:17:31,299 --> 00:17:32,800
Bela, this school
is very expensive,
430
00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:36,096
and we are paying for you
to study and learn,
431
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,557
not play around.
432
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,849
[sighs]
433
00:17:39,932 --> 00:17:43,979
[insects chirping]
434
00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:45,439
[sighs]
435
00:17:45,521 --> 00:17:47,208
My girlfriends, you know,
they just keep them.
436
00:17:47,231 --> 00:17:49,484
My best cook pan, remember,
Peggy had that,
437
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:51,361
and I never saw it again.
438
00:17:51,444 --> 00:17:54,698
So I just cook
in those toss-away tins now.
439
00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:56,259
You should really use
the real lemons,
440
00:17:56,282 --> 00:17:59,161
but, you know,
in Arizona, it's offensive.
441
00:17:59,243 --> 00:18:01,829
If you get the thin stuff, it's
gonna burn right through that,
442
00:18:01,913 --> 00:18:03,749
then your top is ruined,
anyway, on the pie.
443
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:05,666
So, well, that's just
one of my tricks.
444
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:10,172
♪ ♪
445
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:13,174
[indistinct chatter]
446
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,303
Oh, I... Mm.
447
00:18:16,385 --> 00:18:18,931
Okay, let's see here.
448
00:18:19,013 --> 00:18:21,057
Leighton,
why is your card in here?
449
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:22,643
Oh, um, I...
450
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:27,189
It's my card, the Malhotras,
Senator Chase,
451
00:18:27,271 --> 00:18:28,856
and yours.
452
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,692
Wait, we didn't pay?
453
00:18:33,444 --> 00:18:37,365
Leighton, why did you pay
for our dinner?
454
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,535
Oh, um...
455
00:18:39,617 --> 00:18:42,037
it... it... it was a surprise treat.
456
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,580
I asked her to.
457
00:18:44,664 --> 00:18:50,711
♪ ♪
458
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,339
[chuckles awkwardly]
459
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,467
It's...
[clears throat]
460
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:58,095
Silly.
Here you go, Leighton. Sorry.
461
00:18:58,177 --> 00:18:59,721
Well, Carol,
don't worry about it.
462
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,098
- No, no, I insist.
- Carol, it's fine.
463
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,684
I'm paying for our portion...
464
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:08,564
of the bill,
so it's end of discussion.
465
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:16,529
Ma'am, your card.
466
00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:21,951
Thank you for saying
that about Dad.
467
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,371
It meant a lot to me
that you defended him,
468
00:19:24,453 --> 00:19:27,082
and the look
on Leighton's dad's face...
469
00:19:27,164 --> 00:19:28,541
He was right about your dad.
470
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:31,836
I'm so sick of making
excuses for him.
471
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,838
I show up, you hate me.
472
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:37,634
He doesn't show up,
you love him.
473
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:41,137
Whitney, one day
you're gonna realize
474
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:45,182
he doesn't deserve
the pedestal you put him on.
475
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:49,229
[moody indie music]
476
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:56,068
♪ ♪
477
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,698
I'm going to ask the valet
what's taking so long.
478
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:03,326
- [groans] He's so mad.
- Mm, he'll be fine.
479
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:06,663
Bela, I know how much
this dream means to you,
480
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,957
but we need you
to protect your future,
481
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,711
just in case you don't become
the next Amy Schumer.
482
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,671
I'm impressed
you remembered her name.
483
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,131
Ha, of course I do.
484
00:20:16,213 --> 00:20:18,467
You spent years
watching her videos...
485
00:20:18,549 --> 00:20:20,301
boobs, sex, funny stuff.
486
00:20:20,384 --> 00:20:23,346
Damn, Mom.
487
00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:25,390
Beta, I cut you a deal.
488
00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:27,058
You promise me
that you will take
489
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,603
that professor's biochemistry
course next semester,
490
00:20:29,685 --> 00:20:32,189
and I will work on your father,
491
00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:35,651
get him to be
a little more supportive.
492
00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:37,944
I can do that.
493
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:40,489
Also, I need money
to buy books and underwear.
494
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,075
I already put an envelope
on your dresser.
495
00:20:43,157 --> 00:20:45,535
[laughs]
496
00:20:45,618 --> 00:20:49,122
♪ ♪
497
00:20:49,205 --> 00:20:51,040
[sighs]
498
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:56,128
♪ ♪
499
00:20:56,212 --> 00:20:58,673
I'm sorry if I embarrassed
you at dinner tonight.
500
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,843
Oh, you mean when you made me
look like a street urchin
501
00:21:01,926 --> 00:21:03,595
in front of the rich people?
502
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,221
[chuckles]
503
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,392
I knew dinner was gonna be
expensive... I'd saved for it.
504
00:21:08,474 --> 00:21:10,018
I just freaked out.
505
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,938
Fitting in at Essex has been
harder than I expected.
506
00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:15,773
Speaking of fitting in,
where'd you get that coat?
507
00:21:15,856 --> 00:21:18,693
It's not the one I shipped you.
508
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,946
It's Leighton's.
509
00:21:22,029 --> 00:21:23,990
Oh, boy.
510
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:27,326
Honey, I am so proud of you
for being here.
511
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,038
And I want you to have
every amazing experience
512
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,288
this place has to offer.
513
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:33,875
I just don't want you to pretend
514
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,211
to be somebody you're not.
515
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:37,671
I'm not.
516
00:21:37,753 --> 00:21:41,883
I think you've changed
a little since Move-in Day,
517
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:46,137
and I'm not saying
in a bad way, I'm just...
518
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,015
I'm noticing it.
519
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:51,143
Hey, it's okay.
520
00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,729
Want to walk me back
to the hotel?
521
00:21:53,811 --> 00:21:55,146
Yeah
522
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:59,317
♪ ♪
523
00:22:00,818 --> 00:22:02,653
All I said was...
524
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,406
You know, I feel like she's
not here for the right reasons.
525
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,451
And, honestly, neither is she.
526
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:10,996
[indistinct chatter on laptop]
527
00:22:11,078 --> 00:22:13,373
I think I like you better
than anyone I know.
528
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:16,084
Oh, no, that is so sad.
529
00:22:16,167 --> 00:22:18,502
We've only known each other
for, like, four weeks.
530
00:22:18,586 --> 00:22:20,588
Okay, well,
I don't like a lot of people.
531
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:23,258
Nah, don't compliment me
and then water it down.
532
00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:26,178
I want to feel that
full-blown compliment.
533
00:22:28,346 --> 00:22:30,015
Tell me how you like me.
534
00:22:30,097 --> 00:22:31,932
- No!
- Tell me how you like me!
535
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,934
Get off me, you little weirdo!
536
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,354
Come on, you're pushing my boob!
537
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:39,398
[electronic music]
538
00:22:39,482 --> 00:22:46,573
♪ ♪
539
00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:56,791
[knock at door]
540
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:59,169
That dinner fucking sucked.
541
00:22:59,251 --> 00:23:01,962
It wasn't that bad.
542
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,590
Like, for what it's worth,
543
00:23:04,673 --> 00:23:09,011
I don't think of you
as poor or anything like that.
544
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,306
I am, though.
545
00:23:11,388 --> 00:23:15,102
I am kind of poor,
and that's okay.
546
00:23:15,184 --> 00:23:16,603
I just...
547
00:23:16,685 --> 00:23:19,480
I wish I could still, like...
548
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,857
belong here.
549
00:23:21,942 --> 00:23:24,277
What, at Essex?
550
00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:26,028
You already do.
551
00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,574
- Thank you.
[chuckles]
552
00:23:29,657 --> 00:23:36,748
♪ ♪
553
00:23:52,888 --> 00:23:54,849
Should we go to your room?
554
00:23:54,932 --> 00:23:58,310
Actually,
I should probably get to bed.
555
00:23:58,394 --> 00:24:01,690
I want to get a full
eight hours of sleep in.
556
00:24:01,772 --> 00:24:03,275
Oh, okay.
557
00:24:03,357 --> 00:24:04,817
[chuckles]
558
00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:06,443
I'm kidding.
559
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,445
Let's go.
560
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:17,663
♪ ♪
561
00:25:38,161 --> 00:25:39,246
Go to bed.
40355
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