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1
00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:08,632
♪ Get, get, get, get,
get on up ♪
2
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:09,759
♪ Get on up ♪
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,678
[screams] Holy shit!
4
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,304
How are you not freaking out?
5
00:00:13,387 --> 00:00:16,140
I am, I just freak out
in a quieter way than you do.
6
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:17,475
Give me my phone...
Ah!
7
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,143
What hell is going on?
8
00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,228
Bela, this better not be
about another pic
9
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:22,605
of Pete Davidson in sweatpants.
10
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,998
I can't believe I'm saying this,
11
00:00:24,022 --> 00:00:25,483
but it's actually better
than that.
12
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,902
Look at what Nico commented
on Kimberly's pic.
13
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:31,114
- "That dress tho."
Eye-bugging emoji.
14
00:00:31,196 --> 00:00:33,073
Oh, damn! He wants to fuck you.
15
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,451
That's what I said.
16
00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:35,826
No, I don't think that's true.
17
00:00:35,909 --> 00:00:37,454
Wait, has Leighton seen this?
18
00:00:37,536 --> 00:00:39,265
No, she's made it very clear
she does not follow me
19
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,539
on social media.
- Me too.
20
00:00:40,622 --> 00:00:42,082
- Same.
- And please don't tell her.
21
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,728
She gets mad at me
when I touch her sweaters,
22
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,960
let alone her brother.
23
00:00:45,043 --> 00:00:46,463
So are you gonna reply to him?
24
00:00:46,545 --> 00:00:48,423
I thought I'd write back
something cute.
25
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,384
Like, I could say,
"That comment tho."
26
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,677
Stop. No. That's bad.
27
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,054
Here's what you do.
28
00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:56,805
Send him a picture,
something tasteful
29
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,350
like pulling the top
of your shirt way down
30
00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:01,770
with your middle finger...
Bela, too much.
31
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,228
8:00 AM.
- [laughs]
32
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,105
Oh, my God, he just deleted it.
33
00:01:05,189 --> 00:01:06,441
- Wait, what?
- What the fuck?
34
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,734
- He deleted the comment.
It's gone.
35
00:01:08,817 --> 00:01:10,153
Is this bad?
36
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,653
Like, maybe he decided
37
00:01:11,737 --> 00:01:13,156
he doesn't like
"that dress tho"?
38
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,367
- I mean, it doesn't seem good.
- Hold up.
39
00:01:16,450 --> 00:01:18,495
Nico deleting the comment
is a good thing.
40
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,704
It means that not only was
he into your picture...
41
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,665
wink, wink...
but he thought about it enough
42
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,168
to actually come back
to it again later.
43
00:01:26,251 --> 00:01:27,545
He's basically obsessed
with you.
44
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,088
Wow, Bela may actually
have a point.
45
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:32,509
- Mm-hmm.
- You know what? No.
46
00:01:32,591 --> 00:01:34,176
I will not drive myself crazy
47
00:01:34,259 --> 00:01:35,969
waiting on some man's attention.
48
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:39,682
I refuse to overthink this.
49
00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:41,183
- Mm-hmm.
[phone dings]
50
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:44,646
Ugh.
51
00:01:44,728 --> 00:01:47,524
- Well?
- It's a coupon for Panera.
52
00:01:47,606 --> 00:01:48,959
♪ First thing first,
I'm a winner ♪
53
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,484
♪ You ain't even competition ♪
54
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:52,402
♪ 'Cause my land
ain't for beginners ♪
55
00:01:52,486 --> 00:01:54,423
♪ Only getting better when my
head is getting bitter ♪
56
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,966
♪ Yes, I gotta keep it moving
'cause I never... ♪
57
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,616
I know we're collecting
these clothes
58
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,117
for people who need them,
59
00:01:59,201 --> 00:02:01,001
but, really, haven't they been
through enough?
60
00:02:01,078 --> 00:02:03,399
But these clothes are to help
get people off the streets,
61
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,542
not into Dean & DeLuca
for brunch.
62
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,626
Oh, my God, do you think
that's a brunch place?
63
00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:09,378
Hey, Leight, um, a bunch of
us are going
64
00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:12,298
to a drag queen trivia tonight,
if you wanna join.
65
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,217
Yeah, the winning team gets
a free eyebrow shaping
66
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:18,721
and a photo with Vermont's
best drag queen, Miranda Penis.
67
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,014
I actually have plans tonight.
68
00:02:21,098 --> 00:02:23,284
Theta's throwing one of their
biggest parties of the year,
69
00:02:23,308 --> 00:02:24,936
the Theta-lympics.
70
00:02:26,728 --> 00:02:28,230
What? Why are you all so quiet?
71
00:02:28,313 --> 00:02:30,817
Did I accidentally say
something triggering again?
72
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,694
Hey, I get that
your brother is in Theta,
73
00:02:32,776 --> 00:02:35,947
but frats can be extremely
sexist, toxic nightmares.
74
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,406
I mean, we have been campaigning
75
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,741
to abolish Greek life
for over a year now.
76
00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,743
Okay, look,
I know frats get a bad rap,
77
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,163
all right, but Theta actually
does a lot of good.
78
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,582
They just finished a
construction project in Mexico.
79
00:02:46,665 --> 00:02:49,543
Yeah, on the Señor Frog's
that they burned down.
80
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,211
Okay, fine,
maybe they're not perfect.
81
00:02:51,295 --> 00:02:54,424
But have any of you even been
to a frat party?
82
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,966
Hmm?
83
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:57,735
I chained myself to
a tree outside one once.
84
00:02:57,759 --> 00:03:00,930
So we're making
a judgmental assumption?
85
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,015
- You're right.
- Thank you.
86
00:03:03,098 --> 00:03:05,143
Yeah, I mean,
we shouldn't be judging Theta
87
00:03:05,225 --> 00:03:06,453
until we go
to one of their parties.
88
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:07,604
Mm-hmm.
89
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,955
So maybe we should all go
tonight.
90
00:03:08,979 --> 00:03:10,105
No!
91
00:03:10,188 --> 00:03:11,691
Oh, no, no, come on.
92
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:15,110
I mean, you guys have your
super fun drag queen thing.
93
00:03:15,193 --> 00:03:17,070
No, no, no, no,
let's give Theta a chance
94
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,281
to prove us wrong.
95
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:20,074
Send me that invite.
96
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,992
I can.
97
00:03:22,075 --> 00:03:23,786
Just FYI,
they did photoshop a boob
98
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:24,996
into the Theta logo.
99
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,872
And we're off to a great start.
100
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:31,461
[upbeat music]
101
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,629
♪ ♪
102
00:03:33,712 --> 00:03:35,840
I have the coolest fucking
plans tonight.
103
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,384
"The Catullan" editors
are throwing
104
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,929
a wine and cheese soirée.
105
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,430
Yeah, that doesn't sound cool.
106
00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:44,307
But, hey,
things must be going well
107
00:03:44,389 --> 00:03:45,474
if they invited you over.
108
00:03:45,557 --> 00:03:46,935
Oh, no, they didn't invite me.
109
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,478
I overheard them invite
someone else,
110
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,122
so I got all the deets
I need to crash it.
111
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,480
Do we need to say something,
112
00:03:51,563 --> 00:03:53,042
or do we just let her
do this craziness?
113
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,651
I'm still learning your dynamic.
114
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,276
Hey, I need facetime
with these dudes
115
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,360
however I can get it.
116
00:03:57,402 --> 00:03:58,987
I want them to respect me,
117
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,549
and this is a hell of a lot
easier than growing a dick.
118
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,782
You know?
119
00:04:03,533 --> 00:04:05,286
Hey, Hayden, sick tracksuit.
120
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,038
You get that
at the Essex bookstore?
121
00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:08,956
Pfft, nah, it was team issued.
122
00:04:09,039 --> 00:04:10,290
Drip-drip, right?
123
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,377
Team-issued, like, for free?
124
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,002
We didn't get those, did we?
- Nah.
125
00:04:14,086 --> 00:04:16,172
The guys' team always gets
more shit than we do.
126
00:04:16,254 --> 00:04:18,014
Yeah, I don't know,
these were just waiting
127
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,651
for us in our lockers
after our last game.
128
00:04:19,675 --> 00:04:22,177
Which you lost. Badly.
129
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,389
I mean, did we really lose
if we had fun?
130
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:27,850
- Hmm.
- And, yes, we lost 7-1.
131
00:04:29,226 --> 00:04:30,769
Are you kidding me?
132
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,398
Welcome to the world of being
a female college athlete.
133
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,149
I try to ignore it
so I don't go insane,
134
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,336
but you should have seen me
last year when I first saw
135
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,321
how much nicer their
locker rooms are than ours.
136
00:04:40,404 --> 00:04:42,115
How much nicer is it?
137
00:04:42,197 --> 00:04:44,367
- Exactly.
I looked just like that.
138
00:04:44,449 --> 00:04:47,452
[upbeat music]
139
00:04:47,536 --> 00:04:50,372
♪ ♪
140
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,874
- Hey, Canaan.
- Hey.
141
00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:54,002
You're kinda like
my only male friend so far,
142
00:04:54,084 --> 00:04:55,711
can I ask...
Nope.
143
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,380
I see where this is heading,
and I do not do dating advice.
144
00:04:58,463 --> 00:05:02,634
- Oh, my God, no.
This is so not about dating.
145
00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:05,096
But it is about a boy I like.
- Okay.
146
00:05:05,178 --> 00:05:07,098
Okay, when you're flirting
with a girl,
147
00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:10,018
do you ever comment
on her Instagram
148
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:12,394
and then delete
said comment later?
149
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,896
- Wait, what?
- See, I told you.
150
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,523
You're dealing with a sociopath.
151
00:05:15,605 --> 00:05:19,110
A hot sociopath.
But honestly, most are hot.
152
00:05:19,192 --> 00:05:21,821
Look, Kimberly, I don't have
time for this conversation.
153
00:05:21,903 --> 00:05:23,238
And neither do you.
154
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:24,716
These Econ problem set
is due at midnight,
155
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:26,826
and it's crazy hard.
Focus on that.
156
00:05:26,908 --> 00:05:28,762
Okay, I just can't tell
if he likes me or not.
157
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:29,911
Hmm.
158
00:05:29,995 --> 00:05:31,831
Look, if he left a nice comment,
159
00:05:31,913 --> 00:05:33,415
he probably meant it.
160
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,877
Either that, or he's a fuckboy.
- So what do I do?
161
00:05:35,959 --> 00:05:38,045
You should do
your Econ homework.
162
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:41,048
Look, if you want to know
if Nico's into you,
163
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,550
test it.
164
00:05:42,632 --> 00:05:44,360
Post a story and see
if he checks it right away.
165
00:05:44,384 --> 00:05:46,178
If he does, that means
you're really high up
166
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:49,848
in his algorithm,
and algorithms, they don't lie.
167
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:52,769
- Oh, my God, you're a genius!
- I know.
168
00:05:52,851 --> 00:05:54,329
Okay, so what should I put
in my story?
169
00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:56,605
Like a topical TikTok dance,
or... [gasps]
170
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,649
I can do a SpongeBob impression.
171
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,067
Okay.
172
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,987
You should not have custody
of your phone.
173
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,988
[upbeat dance music]
174
00:06:05,072 --> 00:06:07,783
♪ Hit the mall and our
fashion fits our flesh ♪
175
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,242
♪ Hit the club and I'll... ♪
176
00:06:09,326 --> 00:06:11,454
Hey, my for-some-reason
shirtless brother.
177
00:06:11,536 --> 00:06:13,581
Oh, I'd make up a reason
for why my shirt is off,
178
00:06:13,663 --> 00:06:15,850
but, honestly, it's because
I know I look good without it.
179
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,418
- [chuckles]
- What's up?
180
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,795
I need to bring some other
girls with me tonight?
181
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,547
Dope. Other Kappa hopefuls?
182
00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:24,341
No, they're from the, um,
the Women's Center.
183
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:26,177
Oh. Less dope.
184
00:06:26,259 --> 00:06:27,928
Uh.
185
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,822
Doesn't the Women's Center,
like, hate the frats
186
00:06:29,846 --> 00:06:31,223
and what to shut us down?
- Yes.
187
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,492
But everything
they know about frats is
188
00:06:32,516 --> 00:06:33,975
from the Kavanaugh hearings.
189
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,899
All right, so just let them in,
and they'll see
190
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,872
it's not as bad as they think.
- Leight, you don't understand.
191
00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:40,233
Theta is already on thin ice
with the administration,
192
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,834
and one more complaint
could get us shut down.
193
00:06:41,858 --> 00:06:43,694
They are not going
to shut you down.
194
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,403
Tell that to Sigma Chi.
195
00:06:45,487 --> 00:06:47,716
They used to be down the block,
and now their building is
196
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,283
an Amazon fulfillment center.
197
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,409
Look, Leight, please.
198
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:55,163
Just do us both a favor
and convince them not to come.
199
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,168
- [clears throat]
So upon some reflection,
200
00:07:00,252 --> 00:07:02,629
I think we should all go
to your drag thing.
201
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,257
Uh, sorry, Leight,
a deals a deal.
202
00:07:04,339 --> 00:07:05,591
We're going to Theta.
203
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,235
But if you want
to support Miranda Penis,
204
00:07:07,259 --> 00:07:11,096
you can Venmo her tips.
It's @CharlesSmith78.
205
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,600
[phone dings]
206
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,394
Dude,
these sombreros are awesome.
207
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:23,233
Is anyone in our delegation
a Women Studies major?
208
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,528
- Fuck no.
- Minor?
209
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:27,028
Get out of here with that crap.
210
00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:28,488
No?
211
00:07:28,572 --> 00:07:29,615
Shit.
212
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:32,367
This is Whitney Chase,
starting forward
213
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:33,827
for the Essex
Women's soccer team,
214
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,247
and I am documenting
the disparity
215
00:07:36,329 --> 00:07:38,374
between male and female
student athletes.
216
00:07:38,456 --> 00:07:41,418
Now, I have been told
that the men's locker room is
217
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,504
significantly nicer
than the women's.
218
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,380
And, honestly, I...
219
00:07:46,798 --> 00:07:48,884
Oh, you gotta be
fucking kidding me.
220
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,887
This is insane.
221
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,264
Wood-paneled lockers?
222
00:07:53,346 --> 00:07:56,725
And next up,
the Essex fox mascot uniform
223
00:07:56,808 --> 00:07:59,060
to cheer them on
while they dry their balls.
224
00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:01,230
And let's see
what else they've got...
225
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,899
- What the fuck?
- Oh, shit.
226
00:08:04,649 --> 00:08:05,776
Sorry.
227
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,403
What the hell were you thinking?
228
00:08:07,485 --> 00:08:09,463
I was spotlighting injustice
so I could go public
229
00:08:09,487 --> 00:08:11,031
with the footage
and get it fixed.
230
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:14,076
Right, 'cause news outlets
regularly share videos
231
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,204
of floppy 18-year-old penises.
232
00:08:16,286 --> 00:08:18,432
Do you know how much trouble
you could have gotten into?
233
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,834
You're lucky I convinced
Coach Jim to let this go.
234
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,127
So that's your plan?
235
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,437
Just look away
and condone a system
236
00:08:24,461 --> 00:08:25,922
where we get treated worse?
237
00:08:26,004 --> 00:08:30,759
Chase, I am a 54-year-old
lesbian soccer coach.
238
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,639
You don't need to tell me how
hard it is for female athletes.
239
00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:36,974
Okay, and no,
that's not all I'm doing.
240
00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:38,600
I'm also benching you
for two games.
241
00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:41,269
What! That is so unfair.
242
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,647
You can go.
243
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:47,067
♪ I like it better
when you hold me ♪
244
00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:48,693
♪ Don't act
like you don't know me ♪
245
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,504
Okay, so how soon
after you posted the story
246
00:08:50,528 --> 00:08:52,240
did Nico look at it?
- Two minutes.
247
00:08:52,322 --> 00:08:54,283
Damn, girl, my stalker
doesn't even check
248
00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:55,533
my stories that fast.
249
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,452
And he served time.
Nico's into you.
250
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,871
Okay, and then he invited
you to the Theta party?
251
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,123
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, yeah.
252
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:03,167
That's a sex invite.
Shower good.
253
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:04,751
No, you're crazy.
254
00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,355
Kimberly, there is no other
way to interpret it.
255
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,004
Go for it, seize the dick.
256
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,966
Okay, but then I replied
with a GIF
257
00:09:10,048 --> 00:09:12,802
of a baby running real fast
saying, "I'm coming."
258
00:09:12,884 --> 00:09:14,386
And he replied "JK,"
259
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:17,306
and then, "Whoops, that was
meant for someone else."
260
00:09:17,389 --> 00:09:18,724
And that was it?
261
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,309
Hmm.
262
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,187
Maybe I should just stay in
and do my Econ.
263
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:25,438
I have to upload it
by midnight sharp
264
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,649
or I get a zero.
265
00:09:26,731 --> 00:09:28,484
Or you should go tonight,
266
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,193
let him flirt
like this in person,
267
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,488
and see if something happens.
- I agree with Jocelyn.
268
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,864
And I say that as someone
269
00:09:33,947 --> 00:09:35,825
with extremely high
social intelligence.
270
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,552
All right, I'm gonna go crash
a cheese party
271
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:39,245
I wasn't invited to.
272
00:09:39,327 --> 00:09:40,328
Seize the dick.
273
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,663
Seize the dick.
- Hey!
274
00:09:41,746 --> 00:09:43,249
Seize the dick, seize the dick.
275
00:09:43,331 --> 00:09:45,668
- [whispering]
Seize the dick, seize the dick.
276
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,671
[upbeat music]
277
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,840
♪ ♪
278
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,174
Bela, what are you doing here?
279
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,011
Uh, duh,
I'm here for the cheese thing.
280
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,596
You goof.
281
00:10:02,309 --> 00:10:04,687
Uh, hey, Coach Woods,
you wanted to see me?
282
00:10:04,769 --> 00:10:05,855
Take a seat.
283
00:10:08,231 --> 00:10:10,735
- Dalton, let's go!
- Dalton?
284
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,279
Okay, what is happening?
285
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,197
You mom has asked for a meeting.
286
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:20,536
So thanks for making
a two-game suspension
287
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,912
a national security issue.
288
00:10:21,995 --> 00:10:23,288
What?
289
00:10:23,371 --> 00:10:24,850
Coach, I swear
I didn't ask her to do this.
290
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,207
I mean, I only...
[computer dings]
291
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,210
- Hello.
- Mom, what the hell?
292
00:10:28,293 --> 00:10:29,836
I'm reaching out to your coach
293
00:10:29,919 --> 00:10:31,880
because I would like
for her to explain
294
00:10:31,963 --> 00:10:34,299
why my daughter called me,
all upset,
295
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:35,759
to tell me she had been benched
296
00:10:35,842 --> 00:10:37,677
for standing up
against discrimination.
297
00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:39,554
And we welcome that opportunity.
298
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,807
But we do have rules.
299
00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:45,226
Senator, I assure you,
we love your daughter.
300
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,729
Like, all of us do. We all do.
301
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,190
Coach Woods included
even more so than I.
302
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,357
Oh, my God.
303
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,360
I'm sorry, who are you?
304
00:10:52,442 --> 00:10:54,570
Uh, Dalton, assistant coach.
305
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,947
Coach Woods, can you
turn the screen slightly
306
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,116
to frame him out?
- Oh, yeah.
307
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,035
Now, as you probably can expect,
308
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:04,080
I cannot sit back
and allow my daughter
309
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,498
to be mistreated.
310
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,166
I'm not saying
I want to go to the dean
311
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,751
about a leadership change...
Mom, stop it!
312
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,128
Senator Chase,
313
00:11:11,211 --> 00:11:14,048
I am willing to overturn
my previous decision.
314
00:11:14,130 --> 00:11:17,802
But, uh, I hope you understand
why I took this so seriously.
315
00:11:17,884 --> 00:11:22,431
[clears throat]
Your daughter filmed naked boys
316
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:24,432
without their permission.
317
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,476
Wait, I'm... I'm sorry, what?
318
00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:28,604
Well, she's lucky
the 17-year-old goalie
319
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:29,938
stayed in the sauna
320
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,856
since that would legally be
the creation
321
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,942
of child pornography.
322
00:11:34,025 --> 00:11:35,778
Could you angle me
towards my daughter?
323
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,321
Oh, yeah, you bet.
324
00:11:37,404 --> 00:11:39,322
Nudes of a minor?
325
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,241
Jesus, Whitney,
we're not the Kennedys.
326
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,661
Mom, I'm sorry, I just wanted
to make things right.
327
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:46,455
You and I will talk
about this later.
328
00:11:46,538 --> 00:11:48,164
- Yeah.
- [chuckles]
329
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,668
Thanks again, Gertrude.
Appreciate your time.
330
00:11:51,751 --> 00:11:53,921
Girl, I love that blouse.
[chuckles]
331
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,048
[chuckles]
332
00:11:56,131 --> 00:11:58,134
[sighs]
333
00:11:58,216 --> 00:11:59,969
[upbeat music]
334
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,738
Hey, what are you guys
talking about over here?
335
00:12:01,761 --> 00:12:03,054
How cool this guy's hair is?
336
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,307
- Hmm?
- We were discussing Franzen.
337
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:06,892
Ugh, Franzen sucks.
338
00:12:06,975 --> 00:12:08,912
My parents used to keep
this box of white Zinfandel
339
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:09,979
in their fridge.
340
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,373
One time,
I drank it all and barfed
341
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,815
in my cat's litter box.
342
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,650
[chuckling]
- Do you mean Franzia?
343
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:18,070
The boxed wine?
344
00:12:18,153 --> 00:12:21,657
No, no,
I was obviously joking, guys.
345
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:25,452
Uh, but hey, I'm gonna get
that, uh, cheese platter
346
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:28,371
somebody brought
and eat something
347
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,124
off of it.
348
00:12:30,206 --> 00:12:32,042
[sighs]
349
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:38,798
So which person here do you
find the most insufferable?
350
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,277
I'm going with the girl
who's mentioned
351
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,636
studying abroad in Syria,
like, nine times.
352
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,181
Oh, by the way,
353
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,950
I thought that last piece
you wrote was great.
354
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,850
The one about all the people
your immigrant dad
355
00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:50,519
keeps confusing
with Jennifer Garner?
356
00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,730
- Cool, thank you so much.
I'm glad you liked it.
357
00:12:52,812 --> 00:12:54,606
I can say it comes
from a real place.
358
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,359
My immigrant dad confuses a lot
of people with Jennifer Garner.
359
00:12:57,442 --> 00:12:58,985
Well, I wrote some notes on it,
360
00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:01,404
if you're interested.
- Oh, my God.
361
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,990
That would be great.
362
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,869
[upbeat dance music]
363
00:13:06,951 --> 00:13:10,038
We tossed all the sombreros,
kimonos, and fake afros.
364
00:13:10,121 --> 00:13:12,707
We tried to get rid
of any and all triggers.
365
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:14,543
Yeah, yeah, I mean,
it looks good.
366
00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:16,020
I can't imagine
the Women's Center crew
367
00:13:16,044 --> 00:13:17,837
being offended by any of this.
368
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,758
- Leighton, hi.
May we enter?
369
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,091
Where is everybody?
370
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,844
Does the party not begin
at 8 o'clock?
371
00:13:23,927 --> 00:13:25,888
It's 8:05,
that's an insane time to arrive
372
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,431
for an 8 o'clock party.
373
00:13:27,514 --> 00:13:29,557
Uh, can I take your coat?
374
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,684
I will keep it on
and buttoned, thank you.
375
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,145
Great, yeah,
whatever makes you comfortable.
376
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,898
I made you a bread.
377
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:38,525
Oh, that's... wow,
it's so heavy.
378
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:42,111
Cool. Uh, please.
Let me show you around.
379
00:13:44,155 --> 00:13:46,991
Nico, what a lovely
craftsman home you have.
380
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,161
♪ For life ♪
381
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,413
♪ ♪
382
00:13:51,496 --> 00:13:52,914
♪ Take my hand ♪
383
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,875
So tonight is gonna be
a shitshow, isn't it?
384
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,753
Heh, oh, yeah.
385
00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,214
Um, do you want a drink?
386
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,923
Oh, I already started
in the driveway.
387
00:14:02,006 --> 00:14:03,926
But yeah,
let's continue drinking.
388
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,719
Please.
- [laughs]
389
00:14:06,803 --> 00:14:08,889
Ginger, is that a bodycam?
390
00:14:08,972 --> 00:14:12,600
- What? No, no.
This is a normal broach.
391
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,812
Yeah, I think if you make
a few of these cuts,
392
00:14:15,895 --> 00:14:16,897
it'll be great.
393
00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:18,274
You should totally include this
394
00:14:18,356 --> 00:14:19,543
in your final writing
submission.
395
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,902
- Really?
Cool, thank you so much.
396
00:14:21,985 --> 00:14:23,278
Should we go back out there?
397
00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:24,673
Hey, before we go,
I want to show you
398
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,447
this funny video I saw.
- Sure.
399
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,865
After yours, I have one too.
400
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,951
It's a lady who falls
with a milkshake.
401
00:14:30,034 --> 00:14:33,163
[moaning from computer]
402
00:14:38,418 --> 00:14:40,837
Theta-lympics are a celebration
403
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,173
of competition and pageantry.
404
00:14:43,256 --> 00:14:45,842
Uh, specifically,
drinking competition
405
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,802
and drinking pageantry.
- Okay.
406
00:14:47,885 --> 00:14:50,139
But note that we take every
possible precaution.
407
00:14:50,221 --> 00:14:52,807
Drinks are poured
by licensed bartenders.
408
00:14:52,890 --> 00:14:54,201
And two brothers
have been designated
409
00:14:54,225 --> 00:14:55,225
as sober problem-solvers.
410
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,644
You can calm down.
411
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,206
Look, I know that you think
I'm some, like,
412
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,481
big, scary lesbian protester...
Whoa!
413
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,859
Coming to get you.
414
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:04,485
I did not know
that you are a lesbian.
415
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,739
It would be rude
if I'd assumed that.
416
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,323
Nico, less.
417
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,326
Hey, so, I'm just here
to have a good time.
418
00:15:11,409 --> 00:15:14,871
Now, would you please hold
my feet for a keg stand?
419
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,542
Only if you hold mine
afterwards.
420
00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:21,629
Equality.
- Oh, my God.
421
00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:23,838
- Okay, cool.
Needs more ice.
422
00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:26,634
Uh, actually,
I am gonna go make sure
423
00:15:26,716 --> 00:15:28,469
that Ginger has her
gluten-free beer.
424
00:15:29,886 --> 00:15:31,013
Check on her.
425
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,475
- But really, I'm here for me.
Not for him.
426
00:15:34,557 --> 00:15:36,894
I don't even care if I see him.
- Okay, good.
427
00:15:36,976 --> 00:15:39,020
- Yeah, tonight's a "me" night.
- Mm.
428
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,565
But in the event
that I do see him,
429
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,585
should I mention him deleting
the Instagram comment?
430
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,402
Hi, what's going on over here?
431
00:15:45,485 --> 00:15:46,778
Actually, I don't care.
432
00:15:46,861 --> 00:15:48,364
I'm just trying
to avoid someone, so.
433
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,657
Damn, okay.
434
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,033
- Hey, there she is.
- Hey.
435
00:15:51,115 --> 00:15:52,217
How was
the wine and cheese thing?
436
00:15:52,241 --> 00:15:53,661
It was fine.
437
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,620
- That's it?
- Yeah, what?
438
00:15:55,703 --> 00:15:57,413
What's wrong?
- You're acting weird.
439
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,415
Yeah, your vibes are way off.
440
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,876
Yeah, um, something sort of
weird actually did happen.
441
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,837
One of "The Catullan" editors
was giving me notes on a piece,
442
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,216
and then he put on a porn.
443
00:16:07,298 --> 00:16:09,717
- What? Why did he do that?
- Were you hooking up with him?
444
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,528
No, we were just talking,
and then he put it on.
445
00:16:11,552 --> 00:16:14,264
- So like a predator does.
- No, not like a predator.
446
00:16:14,347 --> 00:16:15,807
It was friendly.
447
00:16:15,890 --> 00:16:17,701
He said he just wanted
to show me a funny video.
448
00:16:17,725 --> 00:16:20,269
- And the funny video was porn?
- Bela, I don't like this.
449
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,938
Was the porn even funny though?
450
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,457
That's the thing,
I couldn't figure out
451
00:16:23,481 --> 00:16:24,607
what the funny part was,
452
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:25,793
but I must have missed
something.
453
00:16:25,817 --> 00:16:27,318
It's fine.
454
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:30,322
Well, do you remember
what it was called?
455
00:16:30,405 --> 00:16:32,115
[moaning from phone]
456
00:16:32,198 --> 00:16:34,385
Maybe he thought it was funny
that they kept their socks on?
457
00:16:34,409 --> 00:16:36,120
No, I don't think so.
458
00:16:36,202 --> 00:16:38,163
Is it funny that his balls
are a different color
459
00:16:38,246 --> 00:16:39,414
than his penis?
460
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,332
Was he laughing
while you were watching?
461
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,710
No, he was just staring at it
462
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,253
and, like, breathed heavy.
463
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,147
We didn't even make eye contact
until it ended.
464
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:49,298
- Yeah, hey, final decision.
This guy is weird as fuck.
465
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,134
- Yeah, I agree.
You should avoid him.
466
00:16:51,217 --> 00:16:53,028
Okay, if this was Eric,
that would be one thing,
467
00:16:53,052 --> 00:16:55,389
but this is Ryan.
He's the nice one.
468
00:16:55,471 --> 00:16:56,597
Hey!
469
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,100
No watching porn tonight!
470
00:16:58,182 --> 00:17:00,351
We are on our best behavior.
471
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:05,148
[driving dance music]
472
00:17:05,231 --> 00:17:06,710
Okay, all right,
this is gonna be okay.
473
00:17:06,733 --> 00:17:08,086
But listen,
I'm gonna need you to sweep
474
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:09,349
like you've never swept before.
475
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,695
Yo, I am the king of sweeping.
476
00:17:10,778 --> 00:17:13,115
Hit it.
- Go. Okay, go! Go, sweep!
477
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,782
Sweep! Oh!
478
00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:16,660
- What!
- Fuck yes! Yes.
479
00:17:16,743 --> 00:17:19,454
[all cheering]
480
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,623
Looks like Nico's got himself
a new Barbie doll.
481
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,125
Her?
482
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,294
Girl, what the hell did
your Barbie dolls look like?
483
00:17:25,376 --> 00:17:27,628
- Great job, Nico!
- Hey!
484
00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:29,506
- Hey!
- Thanks, man.
485
00:17:29,589 --> 00:17:32,550
[awkward laughter]
486
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,135
Did he just call you "man"?
487
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:37,055
- Maybe he said "ma'am."
- That's not better.
488
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,519
- Hey!
- Hey! Thank you!
489
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:44,705
All right,
I'm gonna get you later.
490
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,814
All right, sounds good.
491
00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:46,897
- Oh.
- Oof.
492
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,483
What the hell, I just...
493
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,318
- Oh.
- Of course it's you.
494
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,153
- Oh, take it easy.
What are you gonna do?
495
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,382
Grab some more pics of my dick
for your personal collection?
496
00:17:54,405 --> 00:17:55,990
- That's not what I was doing.
- Okay.
497
00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:58,660
Look, do you think it's fair
that a men's soccer team
498
00:17:58,743 --> 00:18:00,496
with a losing record gets
tons of swag
499
00:18:00,578 --> 00:18:03,499
while a women's team with
a winning record gets nothing?
500
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,584
Okay, I think that we get shit
501
00:18:05,666 --> 00:18:07,752
because people actually come
to our games.
502
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,421
And people prefer men's sports
503
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,173
because we're better
natural athletes.
504
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:14,384
We're stronger, we're faster,
and we have bigger muscles.
505
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,135
Was that too real
of an answer for you?
506
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,262
You really think
you're faster than me?
507
00:18:18,346 --> 00:18:19,681
Yeah, mm-hmm.
508
00:18:21,098 --> 00:18:22,893
Prove it.
509
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:25,854
♪ ♪
510
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,190
[chuckling]
511
00:18:28,272 --> 00:18:31,943
Um, why are there so many
sombreros in that dumpster?
512
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:34,403
I think when they heard
we were coming,
513
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,382
they ditched some of the more
problematic elements
514
00:18:36,405 --> 00:18:37,907
of this party,
and by problematic,
515
00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:40,952
I do mean deeply, deeply racist.
516
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,538
- We?
- Huh?
517
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,705
You just said, "When
they heard we were coming."
518
00:18:44,789 --> 00:18:46,750
What, are... are you
one of us now?
519
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,794
Oh, a Women's Center person?
520
00:18:48,876 --> 00:18:51,880
Um, are you insane?
I would sooner do improv.
521
00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:54,549
Oh, God, we're that bad?
522
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,384
Yeah, you're right,
I crossed a line.
523
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:59,262
- Ooh.
[both laugh]
524
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:03,141
[zipper unzips, trickling]
- oh, oh, yeah...
525
00:19:03,224 --> 00:19:06,103
Dude, can you please not take
a piss right next to us?
526
00:19:06,185 --> 00:19:09,565
I mean, I came here to drink,
not see the side of your dick.
527
00:19:09,647 --> 00:19:11,858
- Whatever.
- Asshole.
528
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,443
If you don't like it,
leave, you dyke.
529
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,909
What the fuck
did you just call me?
530
00:19:20,992 --> 00:19:22,743
Fuck off.
531
00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:24,538
Take that, motherfucker.
532
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,623
Yes, this dyke is kicking
your fucking ass!
533
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,876
- Alicia! Alicia! Alicia, stop!
- Get off of me.
534
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,044
What the hell?
535
00:19:31,127 --> 00:19:32,355
Who's side are you on, anyway?
536
00:19:32,378 --> 00:19:33,881
Did you see that?
537
00:19:38,759 --> 00:19:41,846
Wait, Alicia. Wait up.
538
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,222
Alicia. Alicia, stop.
539
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,724
Why?
540
00:19:44,807 --> 00:19:46,536
So that you can get mad
at me for defending myself
541
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,144
against that fucking dick?
542
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:49,663
No, I just didn't want
to see you get hurt.
543
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,082
Okay,
that guy could have killed you.
544
00:19:51,105 --> 00:19:52,316
I know you think you're tough,
545
00:19:52,398 --> 00:19:53,983
but you are fucking 5 feet tall.
546
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,986
I am 5'2"!
547
00:19:56,068 --> 00:19:59,323
Okay, I am so, so sorry that
that happened.
548
00:19:59,405 --> 00:20:01,866
Okay, and I'm so sorry
that I brought you here.
549
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,076
I... I swear to God,
I've never seen these guys
550
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,288
do anything like that before.
- Yeah, of course you haven't.
551
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:09,499
Because they don't treat you
like they treat me.
552
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,169
I'm just this queer girl
that they can't fuck.
553
00:20:12,251 --> 00:20:15,797
But you, you're this pretty,
blonde, straight girl
554
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,383
who they actually think is
worthy of respect.
555
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,760
- That... that's not true.
- Yes, it is.
556
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:21,886
No.
557
00:20:23,471 --> 00:20:26,349
No... no, I mean, what...
558
00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:28,226
what you said about me.
559
00:20:28,309 --> 00:20:29,560
You're wrong.
560
00:20:31,395 --> 00:20:33,356
What part am I wrong about?
561
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,737
[Black Belt Eagle Scout's
"Soft Stud"]
562
00:20:38,819 --> 00:20:45,117
♪ ♪
563
00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:50,207
Whoa, I was,
like, really wrong about you.
564
00:20:50,289 --> 00:20:51,875
Shut up.
565
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:58,339
♪ ♪
566
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:01,134
[cheering]
- Let's go, let's go.
567
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:02,510
All right, all right.
568
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,388
First one to a mile
permanently proves
569
00:21:05,471 --> 00:21:07,182
which gender is superior.
570
00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:10,644
Three, two, one, go!
571
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:13,896
[partygoers cheering]
572
00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:15,941
- See me all day, baby.
- I got you.
573
00:21:16,023 --> 00:21:17,442
- Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
574
00:21:24,615 --> 00:21:27,661
Hey, Kimberly, wait up.
575
00:21:27,743 --> 00:21:29,871
Hey.
- Hey.
576
00:21:29,954 --> 00:21:31,123
I feel terrible.
577
00:21:31,205 --> 00:21:32,499
Like, I invited you, I got busy,
578
00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:34,334
and I barely saw you.
579
00:21:34,417 --> 00:21:36,127
Oh, I didn't even notice.
580
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,462
I was just hanging out
with so many friends.
581
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,589
Right.
582
00:21:40,673 --> 00:21:43,300
- But I have to get going.
Homework.
583
00:21:43,384 --> 00:21:44,427
Oh.
584
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,597
Do you want me to walk you?
585
00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:50,307
Yeah, you can do that.
586
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,394
[chuckles]
- Sure.
587
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:59,067
- Give it up for feminism!
- Yeah!
588
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,028
- I'm close!
- You're gonna win!
589
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:02,653
No, no, no, no, no!
590
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:04,823
Yeah! That's right!
591
00:22:04,905 --> 00:22:06,365
Yeah, that's right!
592
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,951
I guess men are faster
than women after all.
593
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,578
Whoa!
594
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:12,622
[crowd gasps]
- Shit.
595
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:20,797
Nevertheless, she persisted!
596
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:23,467
[partygoers cheering]
597
00:22:23,549 --> 00:22:26,635
[upbeat music]
598
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,680
♪ ♪
599
00:22:28,763 --> 00:22:31,892
So was the Theta-lympics
everything you hoped for?
600
00:22:31,974 --> 00:22:33,184
Yeah.
601
00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:34,667
I mean, no one spilled
a beer on me,
602
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,646
so it was easily my favorite
Theta party yet.
603
00:22:41,692 --> 00:22:43,278
Hey,
604
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:46,990
did you leave a comment on my
Instagram and then delete it?
605
00:22:48,866 --> 00:22:49,910
Yes.
606
00:22:51,494 --> 00:22:54,455
I didn't want anyone reading it
and getting the wrong idea.
607
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,335
The wrong idea like what?
608
00:22:58,417 --> 00:23:00,711
You're my sister's roommate,
and I'm tutoring you,
609
00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:03,089
and I shouldn't be saying
you look, uh...
610
00:23:05,049 --> 00:23:06,468
You know.
611
00:23:06,550 --> 00:23:09,512
[sentimental music]
612
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:12,598
♪ ♪
613
00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:14,601
I should get back.
614
00:23:14,683 --> 00:23:16,894
Thanks for walking me home.
615
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,313
No problem.
616
00:23:18,395 --> 00:23:20,231
♪ Disappear ♪
617
00:23:20,315 --> 00:23:23,818
♪ ♪
618
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:26,570
♪ There's all my tears ♪
619
00:23:26,654 --> 00:23:28,155
Oh, shit.
620
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:34,287
♪ I've cried them all out ♪
621
00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:41,127
♪ ♪
622
00:23:42,586 --> 00:23:45,048
[sighs] Fuck.
623
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,801
Fuck.
624
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:58,269
♪ Never let go
of the grave ♪
625
00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:00,855
♪ ♪
626
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:06,443
♪ Never even once said ♪
627
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,864
♪ Explain ourselves ♪
628
00:24:08,946 --> 00:24:11,866
Are you seriously leaving
right now?
629
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,035
- No, it's just late.
That's all.
630
00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:18,330
Look, I get it.
631
00:24:18,414 --> 00:24:20,791
I always used to rush away
after sex too.
632
00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:24,546
Instead, you know, maybe you
could just come sit down.
633
00:24:24,628 --> 00:24:27,048
We could order some Postmates,
634
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,342
maybe watch some
"Indian Matchmaker."
635
00:24:34,513 --> 00:24:35,598
Okay.
636
00:24:36,766 --> 00:24:39,978
Okay, I will stay
for one to six episodes.
637
00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:41,479
Okay.
638
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:43,898
♪ Let it all go ♪
639
00:24:43,981 --> 00:24:46,817
Um, could I borrow
your Netflix login?
640
00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:51,740
- Are you serious?
Did you get hurt?
641
00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:54,159
- I'm fine.
You should see the treadmill.
642
00:24:54,241 --> 00:24:56,286
My chin definitely dented it.
643
00:24:58,496 --> 00:24:59,914
Whit, we need to talk.
644
00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:03,835
We can't do this anymore.
645
00:25:05,211 --> 00:25:07,631
Are you breaking up with me?
646
00:25:07,713 --> 00:25:09,423
It's my fault.
647
00:25:09,507 --> 00:25:11,134
This whole thing was wrong.
648
00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,929
And it was inappropriate for
me to ever go along with it.
649
00:25:14,011 --> 00:25:15,888
"Go along with it"?
650
00:25:15,971 --> 00:25:18,098
Look, we just need to end it.
651
00:25:18,182 --> 00:25:19,768
I don't... I don't understand.
652
00:25:21,060 --> 00:25:23,313
Wait, is this because
of the... the call with my mom?
653
00:25:23,395 --> 00:25:25,190
Whit, if she ever found out
we're together,
654
00:25:25,272 --> 00:25:26,441
I'd be done. You know it.
655
00:25:26,523 --> 00:25:28,276
She would have me so cancelled.
656
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,945
It would be this big story, and
no school would ever hire me.
657
00:25:31,028 --> 00:25:32,404
Wait, so... so what now?
658
00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:34,574
We just go on pretending
everything's normal,
659
00:25:34,657 --> 00:25:36,451
and you go home
to your fucking wife
660
00:25:36,534 --> 00:25:38,577
and hope she forgives you
and takes you back?
661
00:25:43,540 --> 00:25:45,335
I never actually told her.
662
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,298
You shouldn't
tell anyone, either.
663
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,425
We both have a lot to lose.
664
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,807
["History & the Victors"
by Catriona Irving]
665
00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:01,183
[engine turns over]
666
00:26:04,895 --> 00:26:06,855
What the fuck?
667
00:26:13,153 --> 00:26:16,490
♪ It's oh, oh, oh ♪
668
00:26:16,574 --> 00:26:17,741
♪ ♪
669
00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:21,037
♪ It's oh, oh, oh ♪
670
00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:22,413
♪ ♪
671
00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:25,541
♪ It's stopped by a look ♪
672
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:30,505
♪ And it doesn't take much
to be misunderstood ♪
673
00:26:30,587 --> 00:26:32,007
♪ ♪
674
00:26:32,089 --> 00:26:35,259
♪ Freed by a sound ♪
675
00:26:35,343 --> 00:26:40,557
♪ Falling up the water
of the roll of the rocks ♪
676
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,394
♪ It's not that I don't mind ♪
677
00:26:44,477 --> 00:26:49,898
♪ It's just I need
a little time ♪
678
00:26:49,982 --> 00:26:53,653
♪ It's not that I don't mind ♪
679
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:59,200
♪ It's just I need
a little time ♪
680
00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:01,411
♪ And stop for a minute ♪
681
00:27:01,493 --> 00:27:03,747
♪ I don't care who's in it ♪
682
00:27:03,829 --> 00:27:06,040
♪ Your head chose ♪
683
00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:08,209
♪ And your heart knows ♪
684
00:27:08,292 --> 00:27:12,047
♪ There's a lot of leaves
in the sky ♪
685
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:15,133
♪ Believe in your own shine ♪
686
00:27:15,215 --> 00:27:19,386
♪ Should say so, oh, oh, oh ♪
687
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,347
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
688
00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:24,183
♪ ♪
689
00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,769
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
690
00:27:26,853 --> 00:27:28,855
♪ It's ♪
691
00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:30,731
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
692
00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:32,733
♪ ♪
693
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:34,903
Go to bed.
50082
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