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1
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,050
That is the sexiest
fucking thing I've ever heard.
2
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,678
- You had a one-night stand?
- I know.
3
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,679
I've never done anything
like that before.
4
00:00:13,762 --> 00:00:15,974
You know those girls
that are, like, confident?
5
00:00:16,056 --> 00:00:17,350
- Yeah, I hate them.
- Me too.
6
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,643
I just pretended
to be one of them.
7
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:23,772
Okay, I walked right up to him
and decided to be that bitch!
8
00:00:23,856 --> 00:00:25,065
- [squeals]
- I don't know.
9
00:00:25,149 --> 00:00:26,275
I still think sex is better
10
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,777
when it's with someone you love,
11
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,422
and it's an expression
of your commitment.
12
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,823
Ow, damn it!
- That is so boring, Kimberly.
13
00:00:31,905 --> 00:00:34,116
I'm with you, Whitney.
Sex is better with strangers.
14
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,911
End of story.
- That is not what I said.
15
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,037
[gasps]
16
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:44,293
- What?
- First of all, good morning.
17
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,463
And second of all,
where were you last night?
18
00:00:46,545 --> 00:00:49,298
Oh, my God, she had
a one-night stand too!
19
00:00:49,381 --> 00:00:51,091
Fuck, I'm so lame.
20
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,634
You ditched us last night,
21
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,470
and you ignored 20 texts
from Kimberly.
22
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,014
And I'm on a limited data plan.
23
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,475
- They still have those?
- Uh, yeah. They do.
24
00:00:58,557 --> 00:01:00,726
And so, now if someone
texts me, what do I do?
25
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,145
I have to respond with an email
26
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,688
or just hope
that I run into them.
27
00:01:03,771 --> 00:01:06,608
Okay, look, I know that
we are all roommates,
28
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:08,376
but that does not mean
that I have to tell you
29
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,236
where I'm going
and what I'm doing.
30
00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,237
Okay, we literally met,
like, three days ago.
31
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,906
I don't even remember
your last names.
32
00:01:13,989 --> 00:01:16,200
Well, my last name,
it's Finkle... Kimberly Finkle.
33
00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:18,495
And last night,
Kimberly Finkle was worried
34
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,662
that Leighton Murray
got human-trafficked.
35
00:01:20,746 --> 00:01:22,373
- Okay, Kim.
- What? It happens.
36
00:01:22,456 --> 00:01:24,209
They snatch girls.
- Okay.
37
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:25,960
Okay. You're right.
I get it.
38
00:01:26,043 --> 00:01:28,837
I understand that as a pretty,
blonde woman, I am a target.
39
00:01:28,921 --> 00:01:31,591
How did this become
a compliment to you?
40
00:01:34,426 --> 00:01:37,680
From now on, I will tell you
when I am not coming home
41
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,557
but no more details
beyond that, okay?
42
00:01:40,641 --> 00:01:42,185
No, I will not agree to that.
43
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,412
I came to college to hear
about my roommates' sexploits,
44
00:01:44,436 --> 00:01:46,730
so sit down and tell us
who was inside you!
45
00:01:46,814 --> 00:01:47,856
- Ugh!
- Bela.
46
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,108
No!
47
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:50,710
Why am I the only fun
one around here?
48
00:01:50,734 --> 00:01:53,655
[upbeat music]
49
00:01:53,737 --> 00:02:00,828
♪ ♪
50
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,252
I'm so excited that classes
are finally starting.
51
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:11,506
Oh, God, you were, like,
valedictorian or some shit.
52
00:02:11,588 --> 00:02:12,966
Weren't you?
- I was.
53
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:16,218
And the salutatorian's GPA
wasn't even close.
54
00:02:16,301 --> 00:02:18,763
What classes are you taking?
- I literally don't even know.
55
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,557
I just signed up for anything
that started with "intro."
56
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,893
Oh, I'm over there.
I'll catch you later, okay?
57
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,061
- Bye!
- Bye!
58
00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:27,646
♪ Live without me ♪
59
00:02:27,729 --> 00:02:32,151
♪ You can live
without a loss ♪
60
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,736
♪ Secretly you're burning
through my veins ♪
61
00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:38,866
♪ Like an overdose,
overdose ♪
62
00:02:38,949 --> 00:02:41,828
♪ You're telling me
that I can ease the pain ♪
63
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,413
♪ With your overdose,
overdose ♪
64
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,415
- Oh, hi!
Leighton's brother, Nico!
65
00:02:46,498 --> 00:02:48,459
Hey.
66
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,128
Morning.
- Morning. Happy FDOC.
67
00:02:51,211 --> 00:02:52,881
- Huh?
- First day of classes.
68
00:02:52,963 --> 00:02:55,341
Oh, right.
69
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,694
So how was the rest
of your night?
70
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,262
- It got kind of nuts.
- Nice!
71
00:02:59,344 --> 00:03:01,973
Yeah, I drank way too much
and woke up somewhere
72
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,391
I definitely
shouldn't have been.
73
00:03:04,474 --> 00:03:06,227
You know how it goes.
- Yeah, for sure.
74
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,604
I'm always doing that.
I never wake up in my own bed.
75
00:03:08,687 --> 00:03:10,105
Oh, shit,
76
00:03:10,188 --> 00:03:12,609
are you taking French
Revolution and Romanticism?
77
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,860
- I am! Are you?
- No, I did last year.
78
00:03:14,943 --> 00:03:16,570
- Oh.
- That class is legit, though.
79
00:03:16,653 --> 00:03:17,947
You must really like French.
80
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,949
- I do.
It's kind of my best subject.
81
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,926
In high school, I won
a certificate that was signed
82
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,621
by the lieutenant governor
of Arizona, no big deal.
83
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:25,954
All right.
84
00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:29,417
Well, I'd better go.
- Okay.
85
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,170
Hey, Happy FDOC.
86
00:03:32,252 --> 00:03:33,295
You remembered!
87
00:03:33,378 --> 00:03:36,299
[pop music]
88
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:40,594
♪ ♪
89
00:03:40,677 --> 00:03:43,097
♪ Never took your side ♪
90
00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:45,807
♪ Never curse your name ♪
91
00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:48,519
♪ I keep my lips shut tight ♪
92
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:51,813
- [sighs]
- ♪ Until you go ♪
93
00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:54,275
♪ We've come as far ♪
94
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,110
♪ As we're ever gonna get ♪
95
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:59,447
- Hello?
- ♪ Go, foxes, go ♪
96
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:02,491
♪ Fight on for Essex ♪
97
00:04:02,574 --> 00:04:04,743
♪ Shout it out loud ♪
98
00:04:04,826 --> 00:04:06,371
Okay, I'm hanging up.
99
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:07,830
My daughter, she goes to Essex!
100
00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:09,164
- Okay, bye.
- No, no, no.
101
00:04:09,247 --> 00:04:10,667
Don't hang up.
Don't hang up.
102
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,669
How are ya?
Are you loving it, or what?
103
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,336
- Yeah. I don't know.
It's fine.
104
00:04:14,419 --> 00:04:15,754
What do you mean "fine"?
105
00:04:15,837 --> 00:04:17,548
Honey, it's the first week
of college.
106
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:21,093
It's, like, probably the best
seven days of your whole life!
107
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,595
What are you talking about?
108
00:04:22,678 --> 00:04:24,514
Did you make up
with Esme and Francesca yet?
109
00:04:24,596 --> 00:04:26,574
What? No, no, I don't even
think about them anymore.
110
00:04:26,598 --> 00:04:29,143
They can live their lives,
and I can live mine.
111
00:04:29,226 --> 00:04:31,144
- Well, that's great, honey.
I'm glad.
112
00:04:31,228 --> 00:04:34,439
What else? Have you... have you
met any cute boys, or what?
113
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,317
- Yeah, a few.
I'm actually already pregnant,
114
00:04:37,401 --> 00:04:39,569
and I have no idea
who the father is.
115
00:04:39,653 --> 00:04:41,697
Honey, no, no, no.
116
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,908
What did we say about that joke?
117
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,867
It is a joke, right?
118
00:04:45,951 --> 00:04:48,036
Look, I got to go,
but I love you, okay?
119
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,372
Okay. I love you too.
120
00:04:49,454 --> 00:04:50,956
But seriously,
you were joking, right?
121
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,582
Seriously,
please don't get pregnant!
122
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,793
[vocalizing]
123
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,547
♪ I'm in misery,
but you can't seem ♪
124
00:04:57,629 --> 00:04:58,798
♪ As old as your omens ♪
125
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,384
- Yeah! Aw.
- I love it so much.
126
00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:04,512
♪ We share never keep
your prayer hands ♪
127
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:06,723
♪ From falling ♪
128
00:05:06,805 --> 00:05:09,307
♪ ♪
129
00:05:09,391 --> 00:05:11,894
Esme, Esme's roommate.
130
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,230
- Leighton, wait.
How have you been?
131
00:05:14,312 --> 00:05:16,940
Francesca and I
were worried about you.
132
00:05:17,024 --> 00:05:18,401
I have been amazing.
133
00:05:18,483 --> 00:05:20,319
Actually, my new roommates
are phenomenal.
134
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,653
We all get along so well.
135
00:05:21,737 --> 00:05:24,365
Um, would you like
to sit with us?
136
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,242
Oh, that's so sweet,
but actually,
137
00:05:26,324 --> 00:05:28,870
a bunch of new friends I made
are saving me a seat.
138
00:05:28,952 --> 00:05:31,788
Hi! Hey.
139
00:05:31,872 --> 00:05:35,293
Yeah, they're so cute,
but thank you.
140
00:05:35,375 --> 00:05:38,254
Well, I am happy
you're doing well.
141
00:05:38,336 --> 00:05:39,922
- Same.
Same to you.
142
00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:41,716
I'll see you both at graduation?
143
00:05:41,798 --> 00:05:43,009
If you make it!
144
00:05:43,091 --> 00:05:46,471
Welcome to Math 350.
145
00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:50,932
We're going to start today off
with a quick assessment test.
146
00:05:51,016 --> 00:05:52,976
Yay.
147
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,981
- All right. Nice pass.
Switch it.
148
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,735
Jena to Whitney.
Come on. Get clear.
149
00:06:00,817 --> 00:06:01,944
Nice!
150
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,615
Hey!
151
00:06:05,697 --> 00:06:06,949
- That's you, Jena!
That's you!
152
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,617
Go, go, go, go, go!
- Over here!
153
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,620
Here, here!
154
00:06:13,413 --> 00:06:16,167
Oh! Motherfucker!
155
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:19,711
Sorry. My bad.
156
00:06:19,795 --> 00:06:21,314
What the hell
kind of a shot was that?
157
00:06:21,338 --> 00:06:22,839
I was open.
158
00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:29,221
You have a fucking wife?!
159
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,783
- Okay, I swear.
I was going to tell you.
160
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,447
- When, Dalton? When?
When we were fucking
161
00:06:32,516 --> 00:06:34,644
on your sofa, or when
we were fucking in your car?
162
00:06:34,726 --> 00:06:36,370
- It's complicated.
Michelle and I have been
163
00:06:36,394 --> 00:06:38,439
having problems, and so...
Oh, you have?
164
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,274
Oh, my God.
Is one of you cheating?
165
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,043
I'm trying to be honest
with you right now!
166
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,153
- Oh, you want honesty?
Okay, you're a fucking creep.
167
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,238
I'm a fucking catch.
Never speak to me again.
168
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,697
Whitney, please stop.
169
00:06:47,781 --> 00:06:49,661
Michelle and I haven't
slept together in months.
170
00:06:49,699 --> 00:06:51,994
We're barely
married anymore, okay?
171
00:06:52,077 --> 00:06:53,663
I think what you and I have
is real.
172
00:06:53,745 --> 00:06:55,747
Please don't throw it away
because I haven't found
173
00:06:55,831 --> 00:06:57,312
the right time
to end things with her.
174
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,055
- Do whatever you want.
You and I are done.
175
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,846
- Will you just not...
- And this better not
176
00:07:00,877 --> 00:07:02,922
affect my playing time!
- Okay, okay.
177
00:07:05,257 --> 00:07:06,425
Fuck.
178
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,345
Bonjour.
179
00:07:09,427 --> 00:07:10,930
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour.
180
00:07:25,819 --> 00:07:27,737
[laughter]
181
00:08:37,682 --> 00:08:38,893
Kimberly.
182
00:08:42,019 --> 00:08:44,774
I think this class
is too advanced for you.
183
00:08:44,856 --> 00:08:46,234
I suggest that you drop it.
184
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:48,985
What? But French
is my best subject.
185
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,779
I... I know
I didn't do great today,
186
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,948
but I can catch up.
I'm... I'm sure of it.
187
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,783
Well, ultimately
the decision is yours,
188
00:08:54,866 --> 00:08:57,161
but I promise
I am suggesting this
189
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,956
because it is best for you.
190
00:09:00,038 --> 00:09:02,625
You are not ready.
191
00:09:02,707 --> 00:09:05,086
♪ We give meaning
to frivolous things ♪
192
00:09:05,168 --> 00:09:08,129
♪ And call them necessary
have-to-haves ♪
193
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,591
♪ Like pricey purses
and the latest Benzes ♪
194
00:09:10,674 --> 00:09:12,134
♪ And the newest gadgets ♪
195
00:09:12,217 --> 00:09:13,635
Welcome to the to the Catullan.
196
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,239
You eight should be
proud of yourselves
197
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,806
for making it
through the first cut.
198
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,700
You're officially funny.
- Or at least marginally
199
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,893
funnier than the unfunny people
who we've already cut.
200
00:09:20,976 --> 00:09:23,144
- Hi, Bela Malhotra.
I've been working on this piece
201
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,897
where Billie Eilish raps
a warranty page
202
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:26,731
of a printer manual.
It goes like this.
203
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,234
Well, I... I'm sorry.
204
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,318
Were our unspoken rules
not clear enough here?
205
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,962
New members aren't allowed
to pitch yet.
206
00:09:32,028 --> 00:09:33,364
For the next six weeks,
207
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,047
you'll be interning
as our support staff.
208
00:09:35,073 --> 00:09:36,741
If I want Bark Thins
and a mocha,
209
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,952
you will get me Bark Thins
and a mocha.
210
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,355
And don't be cute
and try to write
211
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,889
a funny name on my cup.
You will be cut.
212
00:09:41,913 --> 00:09:44,000
- Uh, I'm confused.
Are we not writers?
213
00:09:44,082 --> 00:09:46,335
Not yet. Those of you
who are still around in October
214
00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:48,298
will submit your final pieces
for consideration.
215
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,130
But, for now,
let's celebrate your small,
216
00:09:50,213 --> 00:09:52,549
recent accomplishment and the
long, unrelenting road ahead
217
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,427
with a little bit of snacks
and chitchat.
218
00:09:57,596 --> 00:10:00,682
[light chatter]
219
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,273
Hey, uh, Evangeline,
can I talk to you for a moment?
220
00:10:07,355 --> 00:10:09,567
Sure. I'll catch up
with you guys later.
221
00:10:09,649 --> 00:10:11,652
- Yeah.
- Don't worry about it.
222
00:10:11,735 --> 00:10:15,865
Hey. I know you and I got
off on the wrong foot, and I...
223
00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:18,283
I don't want things
to be weird between us.
224
00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:20,161
I sent you an email,
apologizing.
225
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:21,662
Did you get it?
- I did.
226
00:10:21,745 --> 00:10:23,163
I thought I wrote you back.
227
00:10:23,246 --> 00:10:24,914
Oh, maybe it got stuck
in my outbox.
228
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,417
It happens.
229
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,501
Ah, yep.
It did.
230
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,669
Okay.
231
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,297
- Here.
Just sent it!
232
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,549
[notification chimes]
233
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,553
Did you get it?
234
00:10:38,636 --> 00:10:40,431
- I... I did.
- Great.
235
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,649
Hey, so what did you guys think
236
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,152
of your first day of classes?
237
00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:54,712
Like, was it easier
than you expected,
238
00:10:54,736 --> 00:10:56,739
or harder, or, like, way harder?
239
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:57,822
- Easier.
- Easy.
240
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,450
Easier, not harder?
241
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,243
both: Easier.
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
242
00:11:01,326 --> 00:11:03,086
I thought this place
was supposed to be hard,
243
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,663
but my public school education
definitely prepared me for it,
244
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:06,916
definitely.
245
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,583
Like, I'm gonna go
do my homework,
246
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,519
and I'll probably be done in,
like, four seconds.
247
00:11:10,543 --> 00:11:12,754
But, you know, you've
just got to laugh, right?
248
00:11:12,837 --> 00:11:14,923
Like, it's just... it's funny.
249
00:11:15,006 --> 00:11:18,469
[laughing, then sobbing]
250
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,846
- Was that weird?
- Hmm?
251
00:11:20,929 --> 00:11:22,597
Oh, I wasn't really listening.
252
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:33,900
Uh, Miss Murray,
can I talk to you
253
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:35,610
about yesterday's
assessment test?
254
00:11:35,693 --> 00:11:37,213
Before you say anything,
you should know
255
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,615
that my father did pay
for this building.
256
00:11:39,697 --> 00:11:41,408
Okay. Uh, noted.
257
00:11:41,491 --> 00:11:43,159
What I was going to say
is that you got
258
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:46,246
the highest score in the class.
259
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,623
Wait, really?
260
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:49,417
I did the best?
- Yeah.
261
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,503
Wow. I mean, I would have
thought everyone did well.
262
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,462
It was so stupid and easy.
263
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,340
Mm, okay. Well,
that's kind of insulting.
264
00:11:56,423 --> 00:11:59,802
Regardless, you need to be
in a much higher-level class.
265
00:11:59,884 --> 00:12:02,263
Also, I want to increase
the number of women
266
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:03,639
in my seminar.
267
00:12:03,721 --> 00:12:06,433
To one. So would you
consider moving up?
268
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,144
[light chatter]
269
00:12:08,226 --> 00:12:10,980
- Sure.
On one condition.
270
00:12:11,062 --> 00:12:13,231
Based on yesterday's
placement test,
271
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:16,652
one extraordinary student
has been selected
272
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,236
to join my advanced section,
273
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:22,158
and that student
is Leighton Murray.
274
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,786
She is a charming
and dynamic young woman
275
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:30,499
who seems like a wonderful
friend who you'd hate to lose.
276
00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:31,875
Now we know that
277
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:36,672
she is objectively
the smartest person here.
278
00:12:36,754 --> 00:12:38,090
Congrats, Leighton.
279
00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:41,844
Hashtag,
on to bigger and better things.
280
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,971
♪ Never met a pill
I didn't know how to take ♪
281
00:12:44,053 --> 00:12:46,032
♪ But that was getting old,
I had to give it a break ♪
282
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:48,350
♪ I never met an emotion
I didn't know how to fake ♪
283
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:51,437
♪ But now I'm getting older,
and I want to be straight ♪
284
00:12:51,519 --> 00:12:54,315
- Hey, Jena.
I love those toe shoes.
285
00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:56,066
Hey, Willow.
286
00:12:56,149 --> 00:12:59,778
Damn, that look she gave you
was true hatred.
287
00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:01,197
I would have cried.
288
00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:03,198
- What are you up to tonight?
- Nothing.
289
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,451
I'm doing nothing
in my apartment, by myself.
290
00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:07,660
Willow, why are you being weird?
291
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,078
I am not being weird.
292
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,706
- You're totally being weird.
What's going on?
293
00:13:11,789 --> 00:13:14,460
I'm going to Jena's house
with the rest of the team.
294
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:17,004
- Are you serious?
She invited everyone but me?
295
00:13:17,086 --> 00:13:18,588
- No, no.
She did not!
296
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,256
She also didn't invite Brittany.
297
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:22,927
- Who's Brittany?
- She's studying abroad.
298
00:13:23,009 --> 00:13:24,677
Ah, don't worry!
299
00:13:24,761 --> 00:13:28,182
I'll go tonight
and talk up how chill you are.
300
00:13:28,264 --> 00:13:29,933
I'll fix this!
301
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,268
- Okay.
- Okay.
302
00:13:31,351 --> 00:13:32,519
Thank you.
303
00:13:34,687 --> 00:13:36,231
Oh, I don't know, man.
304
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,732
I just thought college would be
305
00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:39,461
a lot more fun and crazy
than it's been so far.
306
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,860
- Yeah.
- I've been here six days.
307
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,153
I've made multiple enemies,
308
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,822
and I've had
zero three-way kisses.
309
00:13:43,905 --> 00:13:45,926
- What are you talking about?
I mean, two weeks ago,
310
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:49,702
I was in Ohio, and tonight
I'm going to a naked party.
311
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,413
Not many of those in Akron.
312
00:13:51,496 --> 00:13:54,625
- I'm sorry, what?
- Oh, Akron is a city in Ohio.
313
00:13:54,707 --> 00:13:57,086
Bitch, you know that's not
the detail that I want!
314
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,548
- Oh, my God, Travis.
It's looking so good!
315
00:14:01,631 --> 00:14:03,591
- Yeah.
- What is going on in here?
316
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,969
It smells awful.
- Ugh!
317
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:06,636
Yeah, Travis
is contouring my body.
318
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,806
He's using makeup to subtly
enhance my banging bod.
319
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,099
It's impressive, right?
- Yeah.
320
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,392
Nobody has that many abs.
321
00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:12,934
Yeah, those lines
are way too dark.
322
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,378
All right?
You look like xylophone.
323
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:16,105
- Uh, check yourself.
These are
324
00:14:16,187 --> 00:14:18,816
professional-grade tools that
I bought gently used on eBay.
325
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:20,525
Yeah, but why are you
doing this?
326
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:23,571
Because I'm going
to a naked party!
327
00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:25,322
- Huh?
- To a what?
328
00:14:25,405 --> 00:14:27,991
- So you're going to an orgy?
- No, no, no. It's not an orgy!
329
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,411
It's a normal party,
except with naked people.
330
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,620
And I'm not going to it.
We're going to it.
331
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,889
Travis, could you move
to my back
332
00:14:33,913 --> 00:14:35,249
while I address my roommates?
333
00:14:35,331 --> 00:14:37,167
I have come up
with undeniable reasons
334
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:39,753
why each of you should join me
and party nude.
335
00:14:39,836 --> 00:14:41,754
Leighton, you're first.
- You are not
336
00:14:41,838 --> 00:14:43,692
going to convince me to go!
I'm going to head out.
337
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,341
- Where are you going?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
338
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,028
Did I forget to mention
where I was going?
339
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,471
Right, I didn't, because
it's none of your business.
340
00:14:49,554 --> 00:14:51,056
Bye.
341
00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:52,600
Savage.
342
00:14:55,476 --> 00:14:57,770
- Whitney Chase.
- Yeah, I can't make it.
343
00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,440
Why is everyone opposed
to this party?
344
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:02,234
Because it sounds weird, Bela!
345
00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:04,986
- Fine.
Kimberly, it's just us two.
346
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,030
- Mm-hmm.
- Men have objectified
347
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:09,365
women's bodies for tens,
if not hundreds of years.
348
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:12,076
- Bela, I'm sorry.
I can't make time for this.
349
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,429
Why can't you
make time for this?
350
00:15:13,453 --> 00:15:14,996
- I just can't.
- Wha... what...
351
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,876
Why is there a tan ass-print
on our couch?
352
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,838
What you should be asking is,
why aren't there four?
353
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:27,467
[sighs]
354
00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:41,023
What?
355
00:15:41,105 --> 00:15:42,231
Ugh.
356
00:15:47,111 --> 00:15:49,907
God, you're so much hotter
than your profile.
357
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,700
It's like a reverse catfish.
358
00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:52,826
Thanks.
359
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,370
I'm... I'm so sorry.
360
00:15:55,453 --> 00:15:56,663
Does this car seat come out?
361
00:15:56,746 --> 00:15:58,015
It's really digging
into my boob.
362
00:15:58,039 --> 00:15:59,290
Oh, it's, like, a whole thing
363
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,000
to remove it, you know...
It's fine.
364
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,168
Let's just...
365
00:16:05,254 --> 00:16:08,676
Hey, do you go to Essex?
366
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,052
How... how did you know that?
367
00:16:10,134 --> 00:16:11,886
Uh, your keychain?
368
00:16:14,597 --> 00:16:15,890
What's wrong?
369
00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:18,936
Are you not out?
- No, I'm... [scoffs]
370
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,705
I'm sorry. How is that
any of your business?
371
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,666
- I didn't mean anything by it.
I'm just surprised.
372
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,292
In fact, kids your age came out
when they're,
373
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,360
like, six years old.
Isn't it cool to be gay now?
374
00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:28,570
Oh, my God.
375
00:16:28,653 --> 00:16:30,239
- Did I upset you?
- Uh, no.
376
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:33,826
No, it's just you have no idea
what you are talking about.
377
00:16:35,076 --> 00:16:37,120
When did you come out?
- In high school.
378
00:16:37,203 --> 00:16:39,498
So for someone like you,
I'm sure coming out
379
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,040
probably made you
more interesting,
380
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,793
but, for me, I was popular,
381
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:44,669
so I actually
have something to lose.
382
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:48,506
It's hard to find the courage
to come out, but it's worth it.
383
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:49,924
Maybe for you.
384
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,927
I don't want being gay
to be my identity.
385
00:16:52,009 --> 00:16:53,595
I like my identity.
I don't want to be
386
00:16:53,678 --> 00:16:55,931
the gay Kappa girl
or the lesbian cousin.
387
00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:58,392
I don't... I don't want
to be other, okay?
388
00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:00,018
I just want to be me.
- Mm.
389
00:17:00,101 --> 00:17:02,980
By hiding who you are?
- No, I'm...
390
00:17:03,062 --> 00:17:04,731
I came here to hook up,
not to be lectured
391
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:07,151
by some suburban mom
in a bad cardigan.
392
00:17:07,232 --> 00:17:10,278
- Uh, excuse you.
I'm just trying to help.
393
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:17,201
- Hello, Kimberly.
- I bought this tea at a store.
394
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:18,828
I don't have a hot plate.
- It's okay.
395
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,623
I was just doing
my Friday night sweep,
396
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,000
looking for opioids.
397
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,376
I didn't expect anyone
to be here.
398
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,463
Oh, I'm taking advantage
of the quiet to study.
399
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:31,467
- On a Friday night?
You should be out with friends.
400
00:17:31,549 --> 00:17:33,801
- Uh, it's okay.
I'll go out another night.
401
00:17:33,885 --> 00:17:36,471
Kimberly,
the first week of school
402
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,307
is when people
find their friends.
403
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:42,478
My first weekend, I skipped the
Swedish mid-September party.
404
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,520
That was when they found
the inside joke
405
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:47,148
they would be utilizing
for the next four years,
406
00:17:47,231 --> 00:17:50,736
and I still don't know
who Radish Face is.
407
00:17:52,653 --> 00:17:54,114
I fear it may be me.
408
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,532
Well, I can't be the only one
staying in today.
409
00:17:56,616 --> 00:17:59,243
- Believe you are.
Well, if you get lonely
410
00:17:59,327 --> 00:18:00,662
or have dark thoughts,
411
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,039
come over
and we can play a board game.
412
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:07,211
It is my job to be available
for... people like you.
413
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:16,385
- Wait for me!
I'm coming!
414
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,180
I deserve to have some fun.
415
00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:20,973
- Whoo! Yes, let's go!
- Yes!
416
00:18:21,057 --> 00:18:23,268
Yo, we're gonna see
each other's tits tonight.
417
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:28,190
[chatter]
418
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,451
Yes! Remember?
419
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,452
What's up, bitches?
420
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,623
What are you doing here?
421
00:18:44,705 --> 00:18:47,041
I realized I'm not
just gonna sit at home
422
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:49,377
because one girl doesn't
want me here for no reason.
423
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,296
There is a reason:
she doesn't like you.
424
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,715
Well, she is definitely gonna
like me after I give her this.
425
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:57,009
A basket of lavender soaps
and hand creams?
426
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:59,387
She's the co-captain of
the team, not your great-aunt.
427
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,640
- This is nice!
It has bath crystals in it.
428
00:19:01,722 --> 00:19:03,099
- Mm-mm.
- Whatever, okay?
429
00:19:03,182 --> 00:19:05,810
I'm gonna go find Jena,
make her my best friend,
430
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:08,480
and replace you.
- I'm your best friend?
431
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,231
You've known me for,
like, four weeks.
432
00:19:13,151 --> 00:19:14,694
Tragic.
433
00:19:17,446 --> 00:19:19,825
- I said I was sorry.
I don't make the schedule!
434
00:19:19,907 --> 00:19:21,469
It's like I don't even
have a girlfriend.
435
00:19:21,492 --> 00:19:23,452
I'm done.
- Stop. Don't do this, Jason!
436
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,248
What the fuck?
Why are you in my room?!
437
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:28,541
I brought you some soaps.
438
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,380
[muffled pop music]
439
00:19:33,462 --> 00:19:38,594
♪ ♪
440
00:19:38,676 --> 00:19:40,554
So how does this work?
441
00:19:40,636 --> 00:19:43,432
Do we just take our clothes off
and go inside?
442
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:44,557
I guess.
443
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,405
This just got so real, so quick.
444
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:00,949
I don't think I can do this.
445
00:20:01,032 --> 00:20:03,576
- Fuck it.
I'm going in!
446
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,119
Oh, my God, Jocelyn.
447
00:20:05,202 --> 00:20:07,998
You have, like,
perfect Keira Knightley boobs.
448
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,084
Well, I'll see you inside?
449
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,048
Whew.
450
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,676
Well...
451
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,805
- Same time?
- Same time.
452
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,486
- Okay.
- Okay.
453
00:20:37,568 --> 00:20:38,903
- Let's go!
- Let's go!
454
00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:42,074
[laughter]
455
00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:46,471
- No, he went down the way!
- He went down the whole way.
456
00:20:46,494 --> 00:20:47,703
- Holy...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
457
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,498
Guys, stop.
Hey, Leighton.
458
00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:51,458
- Oh, hey.
- What's up?
459
00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:54,336
Are you, like, alone?
- Yeah.
460
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:57,422
- But it's a Friday night.
- Yeah, I know it's Friday.
461
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,173
Maybe I'm going
somewhere really fun.
462
00:20:59,257 --> 00:21:01,843
- Are you?
- No.
463
00:21:01,926 --> 00:21:04,136
Look, Leight,
just because those girls
464
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:07,098
don't want to live with you
doesn't make you a loser.
465
00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:09,433
Yo, what they did was not cool.
466
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,144
- You told them?
- Well, yeah. Of course I did.
467
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,896
I mean, that was
really fucked up.
468
00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:18,026
Yeah, for what it's worth,
we all felt so bad for you.
469
00:21:18,109 --> 00:21:20,319
- Okay.
Well, this was horrible,
470
00:21:20,403 --> 00:21:22,655
and I am, uh,
I'm going to go drink
471
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,740
until I forget this
conversation ever happened.
472
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,201
Leighton, Leighton.
473
00:21:26,284 --> 00:21:27,994
You're gonna make friends soon.
I know it.
474
00:21:28,077 --> 00:21:30,306
Everything you're saying
is making it worse. Thank you.
475
00:21:30,329 --> 00:21:32,457
Damn, she must be
really hurting.
476
00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:34,291
Want to go
throw knives at trees?
477
00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:35,376
- Yep.
- Let's fucking go.
478
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,378
- Let's go!
- Yahoo!
479
00:21:37,461 --> 00:21:39,172
♪ The day
you took my voice ♪
480
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,424
♪ The power of my melodies ♪
481
00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:44,552
♪ I knew that
this was the day ♪
482
00:21:44,635 --> 00:21:46,012
♪ And then you took my voice ♪
483
00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:47,722
Okay, I don't think
you realize it,
484
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,933
but you're aggressively
cupping your breasts in shame.
485
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,894
- Yes. You're right.
I am doing that.
486
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:57,732
I'm fixing it now.
Here we go.
487
00:21:57,816 --> 00:21:59,483
Ah!
488
00:21:59,567 --> 00:22:01,278
I'm proud of you.
489
00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:03,404
Ready to mingle?
- Yeah.
490
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,531
Which group of butts
looks more approachable:
491
00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:07,409
the right or the left?
492
00:22:07,491 --> 00:22:09,076
The right butts look kinder,
493
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,680
but I don't know
what I'm basing that on.
494
00:22:10,703 --> 00:22:12,748
- Yeah, no, I agree.
Right butts, for sure.
495
00:22:12,830 --> 00:22:14,624
- Uh-huh.
- Let's go.
496
00:22:16,334 --> 00:22:18,127
Hey, Emma is on the lit mag?
497
00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:20,713
Hello, everybody!
498
00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:23,884
So embarrassing that we all
wore the same outfit, right?
499
00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:25,426
Is this your first naked party?
500
00:22:25,509 --> 00:22:27,929
- No.
Why would you say that?
501
00:22:28,012 --> 00:22:31,016
Because you looked down at
everyone's junk multiple times.
502
00:22:31,098 --> 00:22:33,602
Naked parties are about
being comfortable in your skin,
503
00:22:33,684 --> 00:22:35,186
not objectifying
and catching a peek.
504
00:22:35,269 --> 00:22:38,440
- Oh, no doubt. No doubt.
I know that.
505
00:22:38,522 --> 00:22:40,400
I just looked down again,
didn't I?
506
00:22:40,483 --> 00:22:41,651
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
507
00:22:44,528 --> 00:22:46,073
So we're not even
supposed to look?
508
00:22:46,155 --> 00:22:48,616
What is this, a naked party
under Taliban rule?
509
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:51,619
Why are you two hanging out
alone like a bunch of creeps?
510
00:22:51,702 --> 00:22:53,163
People think you're cops.
511
00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:54,914
- [gasps]
- Maybe we should just go.
512
00:22:54,998 --> 00:22:57,143
I thought this would be the
amazing, unforgettable party
513
00:22:57,166 --> 00:23:00,796
I've been waiting for, but
that's obviously not the case.
514
00:23:00,878 --> 00:23:02,631
No, we are gonna stay,
515
00:23:02,713 --> 00:23:04,673
and we are gonna
make the most of it together.
516
00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:07,134
Jocelyn, you seem
so comfortable.
517
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,595
How can we be more like you?
518
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:11,640
I pregamed a lot,
so I'm crazy drunk.
519
00:23:11,722 --> 00:23:13,892
- Okay.
- [snorts]
520
00:23:13,974 --> 00:23:15,477
Here we go. Oh.
521
00:23:15,559 --> 00:23:18,313
♪ That's the way
we get down, down ♪
522
00:23:18,395 --> 00:23:19,897
♪ Turn it up,
turn it up ♪
523
00:23:19,980 --> 00:23:22,901
♪ That's the way
we get down, down ♪
524
00:23:22,983 --> 00:23:24,023
♪ Turn it up, turn it up ♪
525
00:23:24,068 --> 00:23:27,364
[loud laughter]
526
00:23:27,446 --> 00:23:30,659
Okay. Well, there's
a gift receipt in the basket.
527
00:23:30,741 --> 00:23:32,618
You have 14 days.
528
00:23:34,829 --> 00:23:36,163
Are you okay?
529
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,040
My fucking boyfriend
just broke up with me.
530
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:39,291
Okay.
531
00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:41,294
He can't handle
our soccer schedule.
532
00:23:41,377 --> 00:23:43,963
He says I'm never around,
like my life should revolve
533
00:23:44,047 --> 00:23:45,632
around hanging out
in his frat basement
534
00:23:45,714 --> 00:23:47,818
while he and his friends
flick each other in the nuts.
535
00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:49,301
Sounds like a real winner.
536
00:23:49,385 --> 00:23:51,721
- You don't fucking know him.
His dog just died.
537
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:54,223
I should not have said that.
538
00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:57,560
- It's okay.
He does suck.
539
00:23:57,644 --> 00:24:01,189
It's just, not like guys
are lining up for me, so...
540
00:24:01,272 --> 00:24:03,275
- Jena, what?
You're so pretty.
541
00:24:03,357 --> 00:24:04,984
- Oh, fuck you.
- You are!
542
00:24:05,067 --> 00:24:06,318
You're tall, you're ripped,
543
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:08,488
and you're, like,
so good at soccer.
544
00:24:08,571 --> 00:24:10,490
That's why it kills me
that you don't like me.
545
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,867
So, look, if this guy
doesn't get that, fuck him.
546
00:24:12,951 --> 00:24:17,038
Move on. There's
plenty of guys out there.
547
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:19,749
Thanks.
548
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,375
So are we good now?
549
00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:23,586
'Cause I'd love it
if you stopped kicking the shit
550
00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:25,547
out of me on the field.
551
00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:27,883
Yeah, we're good.
552
00:24:27,965 --> 00:24:29,550
But you're wrong
about one thing:
553
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:30,885
There aren't many guys our age
554
00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:32,679
who can handle
being with girls like us,
555
00:24:32,761 --> 00:24:35,222
so good luck finding one.
556
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:42,105
- I mean, come on.
It's a naked party!
557
00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:43,565
Everybody looks at everybody.
558
00:24:43,647 --> 00:24:45,983
You just can't look
like you're looking.
559
00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:49,195
Like, right now, I just glanced
at your boobs three times.
560
00:24:49,278 --> 00:24:51,280
- No, you did not!
You were looking at my eyes.
561
00:24:51,364 --> 00:24:54,576
- I micro-glanced.
The left one is bigger.
562
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:57,787
- Holy hell, she's right.
Your left one is bigger.
563
00:24:57,871 --> 00:25:01,916
Hey, do any of you know
where a girl named Sarah is?
564
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,585
- No.
- Sorry.
565
00:25:03,667 --> 00:25:05,670
I don't.
566
00:25:05,753 --> 00:25:07,713
- Did you see that?
- Wow!
567
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:08,964
Micro-glance!
568
00:25:09,048 --> 00:25:10,592
[laughter]
569
00:25:10,674 --> 00:25:12,384
I'm gonna get a drink.
570
00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:19,934
What the hell?!
571
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:23,438
Ugh, of course it's you.
- You know what? No.
572
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,941
- You spilled my drink.
- And I'm sorry about that,
573
00:25:26,023 --> 00:25:27,500
but I already know
where this is going.
574
00:25:27,525 --> 00:25:28,877
You're gonna
say something mean to me
575
00:25:28,902 --> 00:25:30,237
and make me feel bad
about myself.
576
00:25:30,319 --> 00:25:31,613
I'm a good person!
577
00:25:31,695 --> 00:25:33,990
Did I jerk
your boyfriend's dick? I did!
578
00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:35,450
But if I knew
he had a girlfriend,
579
00:25:35,532 --> 00:25:36,951
I wouldn't have done it.
580
00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:38,787
Please stop being mean to me.
581
00:25:38,869 --> 00:25:41,205
I'm sorry!
582
00:25:41,288 --> 00:25:42,582
Come over here.
583
00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:48,630
I know I've been...
less than kind.
584
00:25:48,712 --> 00:25:51,924
It's because I fought super
hard for you in the first cut.
585
00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:53,488
Staff was split
about your submission,
586
00:25:53,550 --> 00:25:55,177
and people preferred this guy,
587
00:25:55,261 --> 00:25:58,556
but I thought your stuff was
funny, so I pushed for you,
588
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,141
which then made me
look like an idiot
589
00:26:00,224 --> 00:26:02,077
when everyone found out
that the girl I supported
590
00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:04,604
had a jack-fest with my boyf
the night before.
591
00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:05,980
You liked my submission?
592
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,357
- It was pretty solid.
- Pretty solid?
593
00:26:08,441 --> 00:26:10,567
- You're a first-year.
Take it easy.
594
00:26:10,652 --> 00:26:14,196
So, wait, can we just
please be good now?
595
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,199
I don't want you to hate me.
596
00:26:16,282 --> 00:26:17,866
Yeah, we can be good.
597
00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:20,912
- I think I need to hug you.
- Oh!
598
00:26:23,580 --> 00:26:25,625
Oh, jeez, my abs
rubbed off on you.
599
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,669
Mm, my boob contour
got on you too.
600
00:26:27,751 --> 00:26:29,671
Ah! We both contoured?!
601
00:26:29,753 --> 00:26:31,463
I love us!
602
00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:42,683
- Hey.
- Hey.
603
00:26:44,894 --> 00:26:46,061
This will be quick.
604
00:26:46,145 --> 00:26:48,647
- Oh, shit.
You're wasted.
605
00:26:48,731 --> 00:26:52,402
Nico, at the naked party,
I had an epiphany.
606
00:26:52,484 --> 00:26:57,324
You are going
to French tutor me...
607
00:26:57,406 --> 00:26:58,991
in French, please.
608
00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:01,744
You're asking me to tutor you
at 1:00 in the morning?
609
00:27:01,827 --> 00:27:02,912
Mm-hmm.
610
00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:04,748
[chuckles]
611
00:27:04,830 --> 00:27:06,875
Sure, I'll tutor you.
612
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:11,171
Oh, excellent, and I appreciate.
613
00:27:11,253 --> 00:27:13,548
Good night.
614
00:27:13,631 --> 00:27:15,717
- That's it?
- That'll be all, Tutor.
615
00:27:15,799 --> 00:27:18,053
Thank you!
616
00:27:18,135 --> 00:27:19,511
What?
617
00:27:29,105 --> 00:27:31,566
- Hello, John.
Your hat looks stupid,
618
00:27:31,648 --> 00:27:34,568
and the school
you founded sucks.
619
00:27:34,652 --> 00:27:37,905
But I'm sorry
you died in the snow.
620
00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:40,240
[phone buzzes]
621
00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:41,409
Hello?
622
00:27:41,492 --> 00:27:43,161
- Hey, it's Chloe.
- Who?
623
00:27:43,243 --> 00:27:45,579
You had my nipples in
your mouth in a minivan today?
624
00:27:45,663 --> 00:27:47,164
What do you want?
625
00:27:47,248 --> 00:27:49,367
Look, did you not sufficiently
lecture me in your car?
626
00:27:49,416 --> 00:27:51,086
I'm just calling
to check in on you.
627
00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:52,921
I could tell you're
in a really bad place
628
00:27:53,003 --> 00:27:54,672
and just wanted to say that,
629
00:27:54,756 --> 00:27:56,383
it gets better.
630
00:27:56,465 --> 00:27:58,468
- Oh, my God.
Are you fucking serious?
631
00:27:58,550 --> 00:28:00,511
You're "It Gets Better-ing" me?
632
00:28:00,595 --> 00:28:02,012
Yeah, no, I am fine.
633
00:28:02,096 --> 00:28:05,349
You drive a Ford Windstar.
You get better, hmm?
634
00:28:05,432 --> 00:28:06,893
My... my life is great.
635
00:28:06,976 --> 00:28:08,685
Why is everyone
fucking pitying me?
636
00:28:08,769 --> 00:28:10,020
Have you seen me?
637
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,356
I'm smart, stylish
and as it turns out,
638
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,857
I'm really fucking good at math.
639
00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:15,317
I'm thriving!
640
00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:17,403
- But you're living a lie.
- Yeah, I know!
641
00:28:17,487 --> 00:28:20,781
You don't think
I fucking know that?!
642
00:28:20,865 --> 00:28:23,284
[groans]
643
00:28:23,367 --> 00:28:25,953
I'm thriving!
[growls]
644
00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:27,955
[sirens blare]
- Stop right there!
645
00:28:28,038 --> 00:28:29,958
Don't move!
- Fuck!
646
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,292
Hey, I said stop!
647
00:28:32,376 --> 00:28:34,837
Go around, go around!
Stop running!
648
00:28:34,921 --> 00:28:37,965
♪ I could stand out here and
tell myself I wasn't ready ♪
649
00:28:38,048 --> 00:28:39,843
♪ I'll get
a million-dollar deal ♪
650
00:28:39,925 --> 00:28:41,635
♪ They both are really heavy ♪
651
00:28:41,719 --> 00:28:43,762
♪ Making plans that slip
right through my hands ♪
652
00:28:43,846 --> 00:28:45,306
♪ Just like confetti ♪
653
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,434
♪ ♪
654
00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:51,563
♪ We could get together,
make a baby if you're ready ♪
655
00:28:51,645 --> 00:28:53,272
♪ Pretend
I'm nothing special ♪
656
00:28:53,355 --> 00:28:55,275
♪ Yeah, they both
are really heavy ♪
657
00:28:55,357 --> 00:28:57,484
♪ Making plans that slip
right through my hands ♪
658
00:28:57,568 --> 00:28:58,903
♪ Just like confetti ♪
659
00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:06,076
♪ ♪
660
00:29:08,203 --> 00:29:09,329
♪ Ooh, baby ♪
661
00:29:09,413 --> 00:29:12,541
♪ ♪
662
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:14,376
♪ Are you a girl? ♪
663
00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:16,211
♪ ♪
664
00:29:16,296 --> 00:29:17,963
♪ Are you a boy? ♪
665
00:29:18,047 --> 00:29:19,673
♪ ♪
666
00:29:19,757 --> 00:29:21,175
♪ I'm not your girl ♪
667
00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:23,094
♪ ♪
668
00:29:23,178 --> 00:29:25,680
♪ I'm not your boy ♪
669
00:29:25,762 --> 00:29:27,390
♪ Freak, I could
stand out here ♪
670
00:29:27,473 --> 00:29:29,476
♪ And tell myself
I wasn't ready ♪
671
00:29:29,558 --> 00:29:31,227
♪ I'll get
a million-dollar deal ♪
672
00:29:31,310 --> 00:29:33,188
♪ They both are really heavy ♪
673
00:29:33,270 --> 00:29:36,607
♪ Can you love somebody with
a mind full of confetti? ♪
674
00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:39,109
♪ ♪
675
00:29:39,193 --> 00:29:41,237
♪ Daddy,
we could get together ♪
676
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,030
♪ Make a baby
if you're ready ♪
677
00:29:43,114 --> 00:29:44,699
♪ Pretend
I'm nothing special ♪
678
00:29:44,781 --> 00:29:46,784
♪ Yeah, they both
are really heavy ♪
679
00:29:46,867 --> 00:29:48,912
♪ Making plans that slip
right through my hands ♪
50076
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