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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,298 I want to fuck you so bad. 2 00:00:08,382 --> 00:00:12,095 - Me too. You make me so hard. 3 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,263 - 'Scuse me! 'Scuse me. 4 00:00:14,346 --> 00:00:15,682 Can you stop? 5 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:18,643 We're dropping our daughter off at school. 6 00:00:20,269 --> 00:00:22,312 I can see your erection. - Mom! 7 00:00:22,396 --> 00:00:25,567 ♪ Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex ♪ 8 00:00:25,649 --> 00:00:27,693 ♪ Sex sex sex sex sex ♪ 9 00:00:28,986 --> 00:00:29,987 Essex College? 10 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,655 Did you have to pick a school 11 00:00:31,739 --> 00:00:34,116 that was 3,000 miles away from me? 12 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,076 It's almost like I did that on purpose. 13 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,787 - I mean, Vermont? Why's it even a state? 14 00:00:38,871 --> 00:00:41,374 Bunch of potheads making maple syrup. 15 00:00:41,457 --> 00:00:43,877 I... I don't know, I'm just happy that you made the time 16 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,396 [phone buzzing] to drop me off at school. 17 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,838 Oh, okay, go on, honey. 18 00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:50,591 It's just nice to spend time with you. 19 00:00:50,674 --> 00:00:52,469 [phone buzzing] - Goddamm it. 20 00:00:52,551 --> 00:00:57,097 Look, Jackie, I am dropping my daughter off at college today. 21 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,308 That is the only thing that matters. 22 00:01:00,893 --> 00:01:04,147 Oh, CNN? Okay, yes, put them through. 23 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,356 [whispers] Sorry. [laughs] 24 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:09,402 Jake Tapper. How you doin', sweetheart? 25 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:12,405 What am I commenting on today? 26 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,490 [sighs] 27 00:01:14,573 --> 00:01:16,051 Look, Beta, I brought a surprise for you 28 00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:19,870 to remind you of home. It's Mr. Busby! 29 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,998 - Mom, are you serious? - What? 30 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,707 You love Mr. Busby. 31 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,126 Mom, I'm not bringing my teddy bear to college with me. 32 00:01:26,210 --> 00:01:28,504 I'm 18 years old, I'm in the middle of my reinvention. 33 00:01:28,587 --> 00:01:30,507 Not with the reinvention again. 34 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,299 Dad, remember when Ben Affleck 35 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,510 got that giant back tattoo of a phoenix rising up 36 00:01:34,593 --> 00:01:35,844 from the ashes? 37 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,430 Is he in "Manchester by the Sea"? 38 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:40,349 - Oh, very sad film. - That's the other Affleck. 39 00:01:40,432 --> 00:01:42,519 Look, that phoenix made total sense to me. 40 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:43,603 Ben needed a change. 41 00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,396 He needed to transform his life 42 00:01:45,479 --> 00:01:47,314 with a permanent physical metamorphosis. 43 00:01:47,397 --> 00:01:48,858 And so did I. 44 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,569 Four months ago, I was an Indian loser with cystic acne, 45 00:01:51,652 --> 00:01:53,403 sweaty armpits, and glasses. 46 00:01:53,487 --> 00:01:56,031 But with Lasik procedure, an Accutane prescription, 47 00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:58,909 and medical-grade Botox injected into my armpits, 48 00:01:58,992 --> 00:02:00,203 I'm normal. 49 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,371 So should I throw Mr. Busby away? 50 00:02:02,454 --> 00:02:04,040 No, Mom, don't be stupid. 51 00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:06,376 Just take him home and put him on a shelf in my bedroom. 52 00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:12,298 - Hey, there, kiddo. - Hey, Dad. 53 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,009 Before we go inside, I just want to say... 54 00:02:15,092 --> 00:02:16,510 [crying] - Um, Dad. 55 00:02:16,593 --> 00:02:17,804 Don't cry, please. 56 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:19,281 You're the first Finkle to go to college. 57 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,931 Dad, I need you not to cry right now. 58 00:02:21,014 --> 00:02:22,575 - And I'm so proud of you. You're such a special girl. 59 00:02:22,599 --> 00:02:23,953 - Honey, honey... - I haven't told you enough. 60 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,144 Why don't you go inside 61 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,413 and just get yourself together. 62 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,730 Go sit in the car. 63 00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:31,901 [rap music] 64 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,444 ♪ ♪ 65 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,908 Honey, you got to promise me you're gonna be careful 66 00:02:38,991 --> 00:02:42,662 because you're gonna meet all kinds of, um, new people. 67 00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:44,807 Are you saying that because they're Middle Eastern? 68 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:45,998 That's so offensive. 69 00:02:46,081 --> 00:02:47,500 I came here because it's diverse. 70 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,144 We're from the whitest town in the world. 71 00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,587 Dad won't even eat tacos. - Someone say tacos? 72 00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:54,591 I can't handle that today, my stomach is already a mess. 73 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,925 - No, honey, no ethnic food. I promise. 74 00:02:57,009 --> 00:03:00,680 No, I meant rich people. They can be a bad influence. 75 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,431 Do you remember that Caleb Vicars boy? 76 00:03:02,514 --> 00:03:04,474 He was two grades above you, he got into Penn, 77 00:03:04,558 --> 00:03:06,936 met some rich friends, he got addicted to cocaine, 78 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,021 and got arrested... 79 00:03:10,105 --> 00:03:11,524 [softly] For selling his body. 80 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,318 - Mom! - I don't want that future 81 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,444 for you. - Yeah, Mom, I don't want to 82 00:03:15,527 --> 00:03:17,655 become a prostitute either. 83 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,824 [pop music] 84 00:03:20,908 --> 00:03:23,368 [sighs] Something about New England, isn't there? 85 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,747 Maybe it's the trees, or the rivers, the air... 86 00:03:25,829 --> 00:03:27,164 I just feel so alive here. 87 00:03:27,247 --> 00:03:28,917 Dad, you're obsessed with New England. 88 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,103 I mean, it's like you want to have sex with New England. 89 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,128 Ha. That's not possible. 90 00:03:34,046 --> 00:03:36,025 God, Esme and Francesca haven't texted me back yet. 91 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:39,134 They probably have a ton of new inside jokes by now. 92 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,346 You know, honey, are you sure it's the best idea 93 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:44,182 to be roommates in college with your friends from high school? 94 00:03:44,264 --> 00:03:45,682 Shouldn't you branch out? 95 00:03:45,766 --> 00:03:48,061 Dad, Esme and Francesca are my soulmates. 96 00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,812 Okay, they are literally the best people I have ever known. 97 00:03:50,896 --> 00:03:52,439 Okay, but what about that time 98 00:03:52,522 --> 00:03:54,942 that Francesca totally abandoned you in Cape Cod? 99 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,706 She was having a really tough time, okay? 100 00:03:56,735 --> 00:03:58,487 Her dad just got audited. 101 00:03:58,570 --> 00:03:59,965 Honey, I think what I'm trying to say is 102 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:01,324 I don't think Esme and Francesca 103 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,742 are the best influences on you, you know? 104 00:04:03,825 --> 00:04:05,328 They're kinda... assholes? 105 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,830 Dad, can you please not call my friends assholes? 106 00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:10,643 All right? And it doesn't even make a difference, okay? 107 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,794 We're already living together. 108 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:14,419 Well, if that's what makes you happy. 109 00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:17,173 I mean, I guess what's really important is that 110 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,841 my baby girl is going to my alma mater! 111 00:04:19,925 --> 00:04:22,011 I'm telling you, after the next four years, 112 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,264 you're probably gonna want to have sex with New England too. 113 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,016 ♪ ♪ 114 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,476 Dale, I hope you're using your legs to push that. 115 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,437 I can't tell what I'm using, Carol. 116 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,439 ♪ For you ♪ 117 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,066 ♪ Can't wait to push your button ♪ 118 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:41,572 ♪ ♪ 119 00:04:42,656 --> 00:04:44,367 Earth to Kimberly. 120 00:04:44,449 --> 00:04:46,345 Your father's sciatica's gonna act up at any minute now, here. 121 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,704 Help him out. - I got it, Carol. 122 00:04:47,786 --> 00:04:49,538 - You know what? I'll do it, I'll do it. 123 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,290 Mom, could you change your jeans 124 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,959 before anyone gets here? 125 00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:55,670 - Hey! - Hey, you must be Kimberly! 126 00:04:55,752 --> 00:04:58,255 Oh, my Gosh! I'm so excited! 127 00:04:58,338 --> 00:04:59,548 We're your roommates. 128 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,384 I'm Bela, that's Whitney, that's Leighton. 129 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,302 Just kidding, they're my Indian parents. 130 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,264 - Oh! - It's nice to meet you. 131 00:05:06,346 --> 00:05:09,016 - Oh it's nice to meet you too. These are my parents. 132 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,225 Carol and Dale. 133 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,185 - Hello. - Great to meet you. 134 00:05:13,478 --> 00:05:14,896 We're Irish. 135 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,483 Yeah, there's an Indian restaurant in our town. 136 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,569 Never been. 137 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,362 I love your Seth Meyers poster. 138 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,615 You can really see his face. - Thanks. 139 00:05:25,699 --> 00:05:27,326 Yeah, he's sort of my dream guy. 140 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,954 Double-threat writer and performer on "SNL," 141 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,329 just like I want to be. 142 00:05:31,413 --> 00:05:33,750 It's like, I want to have sex with him. 143 00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:36,168 But I also want to be him. 144 00:05:37,377 --> 00:05:38,646 Hey, did you Google the other girls? 145 00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:40,088 I obviously did. 146 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,983 Can you believe we're living with Whitney Chase? 147 00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:43,925 I know, it is so cool that we're living 148 00:05:44,009 --> 00:05:45,261 with a senator's daughter. 149 00:05:45,343 --> 00:05:46,928 I bought a copy of the Constitution 150 00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:48,473 for her mom to sign. 151 00:05:48,555 --> 00:05:49,908 Wouldn't it be nuts if, like, two years from now, 152 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,284 we were all still rooming together, 153 00:05:51,308 --> 00:05:52,827 but she was like president or something? 154 00:05:52,851 --> 00:05:55,021 Oh, she's popular, sure, I just don't think 155 00:05:55,103 --> 00:05:57,023 she's respected enough to be president. 156 00:05:57,105 --> 00:05:58,566 Interesting. Ha ha. 157 00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:01,276 I'd like to give a quick rebuttal to that. 158 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,154 Senator Evette Chase from the great state of Washington. 159 00:06:04,237 --> 00:06:06,365 It is so lovely to meet all of you. 160 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,494 - Hey, I'm Whitney. - Oh, of course. 161 00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:12,454 There you are, my daughter. 162 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:15,375 Oh, it's very exciting to meet you, Your Honor. 163 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,918 You don't have to bow. 164 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,812 Can I take a photo with you to put on the wall 165 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,297 of one of my restaurants? - Maybe later. 166 00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:22,798 Earl, can you close the door? 167 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,802 I have a few things I want to say in private. 168 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,973 North Con Hall... buncha great memories here. 169 00:06:32,057 --> 00:06:33,725 One time, I drank so many White Russians, 170 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,812 I threw up out of that window right there. 171 00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:39,148 - Ew, Dad. - You're gonna love it here. 172 00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:41,108 Yeah. 173 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,444 I already do. 174 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,656 It goes without saying, I am a very public figure. 175 00:06:46,738 --> 00:06:48,783 Oh, we get it, we know all about your divorce. 176 00:06:48,865 --> 00:06:51,201 Your ex sounded like a real deadbeat. 177 00:06:51,284 --> 00:06:53,495 - Thank you, he was. - That's my dad. 178 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,206 Here's what I don't need. 179 00:06:55,288 --> 00:06:57,308 I don't need to get woken up in the middle of the night 180 00:06:57,332 --> 00:06:59,877 by some frantic phone call telling me Whitney 181 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,170 is getting high on opioids with the roommates 182 00:07:02,254 --> 00:07:04,589 and streaking across the quad with their junk hanging out. 183 00:07:04,673 --> 00:07:06,384 - Mom! - Our Kimmy has never 184 00:07:06,466 --> 00:07:08,177 touched drugs or alcohol. 185 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,346 She doesn't go out much. 186 00:07:10,428 --> 00:07:12,014 I believe it. 187 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,076 And you don't have to worry about me, Senator Chase. 188 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,519 I'm a committed student eager to study the sciences. 189 00:07:16,601 --> 00:07:21,189 - Okay, that felt forced. Look, I care about you girls. 190 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,360 Just don't embarrass me, because then you're dead to me. 191 00:07:24,442 --> 00:07:26,987 Oh, and if you could not tweet for the next four years, 192 00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:28,363 that'd be great. 193 00:07:30,824 --> 00:07:33,911 Oh, my gosh, you must be Leighton! 194 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,872 We're so happy to meet you. 195 00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:37,915 I'm sorry, who the fuck are you? 196 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,500 - Leighton! - What? 197 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:43,254 - Where are Francesca and Esme? - Who are they? 198 00:07:43,336 --> 00:07:45,798 Uh, my best friends and my roommates? 199 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,425 Dude, I think we're your roommates. 200 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:54,723 - No. [laughs] No, no, no, no. 201 00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:59,269 Very nice to meet you all. 202 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,062 Have a great time in college. 203 00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:04,108 [upbeat music] 204 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:08,403 ♪ ♪ 205 00:08:08,487 --> 00:08:09,779 - Hey, Leight! - Hi! 206 00:08:09,863 --> 00:08:12,699 What the fuck is going on? 207 00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,036 This is our roommate, Siddhartha. 208 00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:17,997 We just showed up, 209 00:08:18,079 --> 00:08:19,682 and they assigned us with that random girl. 210 00:08:19,706 --> 00:08:21,100 Trust me, we were just as upset as you are. 211 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,627 Okay, but how did this happen? 212 00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:24,103 I mean, we filled out the rooming questionnaire 213 00:08:24,127 --> 00:08:26,297 the exact same way. - I know! 214 00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:29,091 Is it possible that maybe you messed up your answers? 215 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,094 I mean, writing wasn't your strong suit at Spence. 216 00:08:32,177 --> 00:08:34,596 - Excuse me! She's a great writer, okay? 217 00:08:34,678 --> 00:08:38,100 She wrote her Nana's eulogy... not a dry eye in the house. 218 00:08:38,182 --> 00:08:39,308 - Dad! [mouthing] 219 00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:42,144 - See? Assholes. Not you. 220 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,148 Look, I don't know how this got so fucked up, 221 00:08:44,231 --> 00:08:46,609 but I am gonna fix this somehow, all right? 222 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,277 Please! 223 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:52,865 [upbeat music] 224 00:08:52,948 --> 00:08:54,908 - Love you, baby. - Be good, Beta. 225 00:08:54,991 --> 00:08:57,202 Don't follow me on social. 226 00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,621 - I love you. - I love you too. 227 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,042 All right, girls, take care of each other. 228 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,418 And remember, no single-use plastics. 229 00:09:06,086 --> 00:09:07,629 Hey, are you good? 230 00:09:07,712 --> 00:09:10,216 Your dad was shaking pretty hard when he said goodbye. 231 00:09:10,298 --> 00:09:11,634 Oh, he's fine. 232 00:09:11,716 --> 00:09:13,437 I'm sure he's finished crying by now anyway. 233 00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:16,514 - Love you, peanut! - [sobs] 234 00:09:16,596 --> 00:09:19,808 [upbeat music] 235 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,476 ♪ ♪ 236 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:24,355 - Welcome. Take a comfy seat. 237 00:09:24,437 --> 00:09:26,691 Does this mean you are our roommate? 238 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:27,774 Oh, no, no. 239 00:09:27,857 --> 00:09:29,086 But there's been a clerical error 240 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,389 that I need to address tomorrow, 241 00:09:30,443 --> 00:09:31,946 so I'll need to stay for one night. 242 00:09:32,028 --> 00:09:33,256 Well, we already picked rooms, 243 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:34,990 so you're with Bela. 244 00:09:35,073 --> 00:09:37,219 Even though it's one night, we should probably sidebar 245 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,412 about a system in case either of us brings a dude home. 246 00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:42,498 Okay, everyone, my name is Frude Rasmunssen, 247 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:46,168 and I will be your Freshman Advisor and Friend, 248 00:09:46,251 --> 00:09:49,504 aka, your FAF. Welcome to Essex! 249 00:09:53,216 --> 00:09:55,510 We'll start with some icebreakers. 250 00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:58,889 Let's go around and share a time when we felt scared. 251 00:09:58,972 --> 00:10:00,515 I'll start. 252 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,436 Avalanche during a family reunion. 253 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:06,522 I lost several relatives and was, myself, entombed 254 00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:08,606 for many days. 255 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,150 Next? 256 00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,860 I'm scared of my stalker. 257 00:10:11,943 --> 00:10:13,863 I'm kind of a big deal on TikTok. 258 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,865 Malia Obama follows me. 259 00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:18,826 Holy shit, she has 200,000 followers. 260 00:10:18,908 --> 00:10:20,620 Oh, my God, you do song parodies? 261 00:10:20,702 --> 00:10:22,203 - Ooh! - Whoa! 262 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,789 ♪ Don't go chasing extra smalls ♪ 263 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,918 That was for a body positivity campaign for Kind Bars, 264 00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:30,171 which are delicious. - So cool! 265 00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,838 Who else? 266 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:35,051 Um, I am a little nervous about my work-study interview 267 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,885 tomorrow. - Wait, you have a job? 268 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,636 Well, I applied for one. 269 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,347 Yes, great, Kimberly. 270 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:44,351 And don't worry, many students at Essex have student jobs. 271 00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:46,687 Who else has one? 272 00:10:46,770 --> 00:10:48,773 Anyone? 273 00:10:48,855 --> 00:10:51,775 I guess perhaps it is just you here. 274 00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,193 Cool. 275 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,071 Look, Frude, I'm sure you're good at this, 276 00:10:55,153 --> 00:10:57,947 but sharing our fears isn't... I'm scared because I'm gay. 277 00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,676 I was in the closet all through high school, 278 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,118 and I don't want to do that again, 279 00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:02,678 so I promised myself I would tell everyone 280 00:11:02,702 --> 00:11:06,206 the minute I got here. Guys, I'm gay. 281 00:11:06,289 --> 00:11:08,333 - Oh. - Okay. 282 00:11:09,626 --> 00:11:12,712 - Oh, I'm gay too. I've been out since I was 12. 283 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:16,091 It wasn't easy in Oklahoma, but I had to be me. 284 00:11:16,174 --> 00:11:19,135 all: Aw! - He's so handsome. 285 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,931 This is great. 286 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,975 We are learning so much about our new gay friends! 287 00:11:25,058 --> 00:11:27,477 [gentle acoustic guitar] 288 00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:29,897 So, why did you all pick Essex? 289 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,440 Oh, I'm here for the "Catullan." 290 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,650 The college comedy magazine. 291 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,443 It's a big deal in the comedy world. 292 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,154 A ton of writers on "SNL" got their start on the "Catullan." 293 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,782 Cool! I came 'cause it's prestigious. 294 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,701 I'm gonna graduate summa, and then I'm gonna go 295 00:11:42,784 --> 00:11:44,077 to a tier one law school, 296 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,121 and then Max and I are gonna move to DC 297 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,515 where we're gonna become a power couple 298 00:11:47,539 --> 00:11:49,040 like Kamala and Doug. 299 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,394 Are any of you in relationships? 300 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,794 Oh, [scoffs] no, thank you. 301 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,047 I didn't come to college to be tethered to some dude 302 00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,590 I dated in high school. 303 00:11:56,673 --> 00:11:58,235 Also, I never really dated anyone in high school, 304 00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,677 but I'm here, I'm super sex-positive... 305 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,263 in theory more than in experience. 306 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,014 And I am ready to smash some Ds. 307 00:12:04,097 --> 00:12:05,515 [pop] 308 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,559 - Max and I are waiting. Not for any weird reason. 309 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,312 He's just not ready. - He's not ready? 310 00:12:10,395 --> 00:12:12,273 - Oh, God. - What? What's wrong with that? 311 00:12:12,355 --> 00:12:14,649 Oh, boys are born ready, so something's up. 312 00:12:14,732 --> 00:12:16,818 Yeah, is he, like, waiting but also, like, 313 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,028 really up to date on "Drag Race"? 314 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,489 Oh, no, it's nothing like that. 315 00:12:20,572 --> 00:12:21,948 It's gonna be worth the wait. 316 00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:23,951 People tell him he looks like Shawn Mendes. 317 00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:25,326 Ooh! 318 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,638 Hey, have you all seen that video 319 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:28,330 of Shawn Mendes taking a shower? 320 00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:30,166 It is very good. 321 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,667 [upbeat music] 322 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,293 [whistle blows] 323 00:12:33,376 --> 00:12:36,504 ♪ ♪ 324 00:12:36,588 --> 00:12:39,174 - Step, step, step! - Get it, get it! 325 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,967 [indistinct yelling] 326 00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:44,179 ♪ The love in my got got got got got ♪ 327 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,890 ♪ The love in my got got got got got ♪ 328 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,517 ♪ The love in my ♪ 329 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,104 ♪ ♪ 330 00:12:52,187 --> 00:12:54,023 She's good. 331 00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:55,649 All right, ladies, hustle! 332 00:12:55,732 --> 00:12:57,317 Now's when you should be impressing me! 333 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:04,491 ♪ ♪ 334 00:13:08,828 --> 00:13:11,749 I see you smiling, feeling all proud of yourself. 335 00:13:11,831 --> 00:13:13,918 Me? No, I wasn't. 336 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,668 - You should smile. You're fast, rookie. 337 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,587 Just don't get too cocky. 338 00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:20,298 Oh, I really like your sticker. 339 00:13:20,381 --> 00:13:21,966 Oh, thanks. 340 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,945 I don't know what it means, but I saw it at a gas station 341 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,346 and was like, "That would be cool in my locker." 342 00:13:26,429 --> 00:13:29,390 Oh, well, I think it's meant for people who identify as... 343 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,601 - I'm just playing. I'm super gay. 344 00:13:31,684 --> 00:13:36,105 Like, I'm the LeBron James of being attracted to women. 345 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,317 I'm Willow. - Whitney. 346 00:13:39,025 --> 00:13:41,903 If I had a silver spoon like that, I'd run really fast too. 347 00:13:41,986 --> 00:13:43,447 She thinks she's hot shit. 348 00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:45,698 The only reason she gets playing time as a freshman 349 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,384 is because of who her mom is. - Oh, my God, Jena, 350 00:13:47,408 --> 00:13:49,009 you're so bad. - I know that I'm a better 351 00:13:49,077 --> 00:13:50,538 forward than she is... 352 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:53,249 - You good? - Yeah, yeah, I'm good. 353 00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:55,084 Cool. 354 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,293 [knocking on door] 355 00:13:56,376 --> 00:13:58,086 - Coach? - Yeah. 356 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,147 Hey, can I talk to you about something? 357 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,174 Course. What's up? 358 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,760 It's kind of serious. 359 00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,322 I just... I'm finding it really difficult 360 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,721 to concentrate during practice 361 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:11,600 because I want to fuck you so bad. 362 00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:14,769 - Whit, what the hell? - I'm so sorry, I had to. 363 00:14:14,852 --> 00:14:16,062 There are people still here. 364 00:14:16,145 --> 00:14:17,855 Everyone's gone except like one janitor. 365 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,357 Hold on, is it Joe or Alejandro? 366 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,942 'Cause Alejandro notices everything. 367 00:14:21,025 --> 00:14:25,614 - Chill, no one saw. And no one will see this. 368 00:14:29,284 --> 00:14:31,370 We still on for tonight? - Yeah. 369 00:14:31,452 --> 00:14:33,831 Now get out of here. - Okay. 370 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,457 - Oh, my God, really? - Yep. 371 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,750 - I got the job? - Yep. 372 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,128 Oh, cool! 373 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,254 So, all employees of Essex Sips need 374 00:14:41,337 --> 00:14:42,840 to submit their timesheets online 375 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,049 through the, uh, financial aid work-study portal. 376 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,760 - Okay. - Portal, guh. 377 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,304 What are we on, "Star Trek"? 378 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,472 - [forced laugh] - It's funny, right? 379 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,018 You like funny things? - Um, yeah. 380 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,203 [gasps] I know, we both can say what we think is funny 381 00:14:56,227 --> 00:14:57,730 on the count of three. - Oh, uh, no... 382 00:14:57,812 --> 00:15:00,316 - Yeah! We'll do it together. One, two, three. 383 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,899 - Uh, memes. - Avenue Q. 384 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,818 Oh, memes, that's good too. - Yeah. 385 00:15:03,902 --> 00:15:05,946 Wow, I think we're gonna get along. 386 00:15:06,029 --> 00:15:08,740 You have a good personality. - Oh, thank you. 387 00:15:08,823 --> 00:15:10,408 Can I tell you something, between us? 388 00:15:10,491 --> 00:15:12,412 I have some issues with the other work-study kids 389 00:15:12,452 --> 00:15:13,745 that I manage. [sighs] 390 00:15:13,828 --> 00:15:15,371 They just have got a lot of attitude. 391 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,750 Oh, well, I really need this job to pay for school, 392 00:15:17,832 --> 00:15:20,210 so the only kind of attitude I have is "can do." 393 00:15:20,293 --> 00:15:23,297 [laughs] That's great, very clever. 394 00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:24,965 Okay, everybody, huddle up. 395 00:15:25,048 --> 00:15:28,344 Before we open, I'd like you to meet our new trainee. 396 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,846 This is Kimberly, and she loves memes. 397 00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:32,681 [laughs] 398 00:15:32,764 --> 00:15:35,475 In addition to other hobbies and interests, you know? 399 00:15:35,558 --> 00:15:38,562 Which I can't think of right now, but I have them. 400 00:15:38,645 --> 00:15:40,147 - Canaan. - Lila. 401 00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,732 Cool. I'm really excited to be working 402 00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,067 at Sips with you guys. 403 00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:46,403 I... I'm sure we'll have a "latte" fun. 404 00:15:46,486 --> 00:15:48,780 [laughs] 405 00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,450 I just want to say, you are a wonderful little lady. 406 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,326 - Okay. - Oh, is that the menu? 407 00:15:53,409 --> 00:15:54,702 It is. 408 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,347 You know what could be so cute is if we did 409 00:15:56,371 --> 00:15:57,974 little chalk drawings that changed every day. 410 00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,333 Like, today, we could do leaves. 411 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:01,918 Because it's September. 412 00:16:02,001 --> 00:16:04,212 [gasps] I love it, yes. 413 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,048 Lila, you're always doodling. 414 00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:07,609 I want you to come in a few minutes early 415 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,884 and decorate the board. 416 00:16:08,966 --> 00:16:10,552 - Why me? She suggested it. 417 00:16:10,635 --> 00:16:12,154 Well, you're artsy, you know, so just have fun with it 418 00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:13,889 and draw some goddamn leaves. 419 00:16:13,971 --> 00:16:17,142 [upbeat music] 420 00:16:17,225 --> 00:16:20,354 So what did you say your last name was again? 421 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:24,732 - Murray, as in Murray library. The library next door. 422 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,695 I slipped and fell there last winter. 423 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:30,489 Broke my tailbone. - I'm very sorry to hear that. 424 00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,240 But can we please focus on my problem? 425 00:16:32,323 --> 00:16:34,909 It's extremely distressing to be separated 426 00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:36,412 from one's best friends. 427 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,663 Okay, looks like you submitted 428 00:16:38,746 --> 00:16:40,206 a personal habits survey 429 00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:43,418 with Esme Schaffer and Francesca Bromley 430 00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:46,422 and got a 99% match-up with both of them. 431 00:16:46,504 --> 00:16:49,424 Exactly, but then there was some glitch in the system, 432 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,927 or something, and they got assigned with some random girl 433 00:16:52,009 --> 00:16:54,263 with weird clothes, bless her heart. 434 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,974 Well, in addition to the survey, they also wrote 435 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,768 specific directions in who they wanted in a roommate. 436 00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:03,897 - [nervous chuckle] Specific how, let me see. 437 00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:06,982 "Do not room us with Leighton Murray"? 438 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,568 Why? Why the hell would they write that? 439 00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:13,699 - I know. You seem like such a joy. 440 00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:16,867 Welcome to the "Catullan" Perspective Writer's meeting. 441 00:17:16,951 --> 00:17:19,453 We're the co-editors. I'm Ryan, this is Eric. 442 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,079 We want to start by saying thank you. 443 00:17:21,164 --> 00:17:22,958 It's really great to see such a big turnout. 444 00:17:23,039 --> 00:17:25,626 That being said, know this going in. 445 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,130 "The Catullan" is the most selective extra-curricular 446 00:17:28,212 --> 00:17:30,132 on campus. - What about a cappella? 447 00:17:30,214 --> 00:17:31,717 Hey, fuck a cappella! 448 00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:33,819 Look, sure, what Eric's saying is technically correct. 449 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,404 But I think we're getting ahead of things here. 450 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,556 Writing for a comedy magazine is fun, 451 00:17:37,638 --> 00:17:39,807 and we look forward to reading your writing samples. 452 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:43,479 3 pieces, 600 words, no puns, I'm serious. 453 00:17:43,561 --> 00:17:45,707 But rather than me telling you why you should submit, 454 00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:50,234 let's see what some of our recent alums have to say. 455 00:17:50,318 --> 00:17:53,238 I'm Oliver Roni, I wrote for "The Catullan" last year, 456 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,031 and now I'm a writer's assistant 457 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:59,076 on a new animated show about a suburban white family. 458 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,703 Holy shit! 459 00:18:02,705 --> 00:18:04,333 - $20. - $20 if I make this? 460 00:18:04,415 --> 00:18:05,959 Straight to you, cash now. 461 00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:07,544 - Okay, ready? - Go ahead. 462 00:18:07,627 --> 00:18:09,171 - Did you see that? - Oh, okay. 463 00:18:09,253 --> 00:18:11,173 I'll give it to you, I'll give it to you. 464 00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:16,595 - Hey, Canaan. - Hey. 465 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,766 - Do you like Jay-Z? - Yeah, I... I guess. 466 00:18:20,848 --> 00:18:23,894 Yeah, I mean, I think his music is so dope. 467 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,770 And some would say he's more than a musician. 468 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:28,898 He's like a prophet too. - Okay. 469 00:18:28,981 --> 00:18:30,358 Look, I just have to say, 470 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,984 I come from a small town in Arizona, 471 00:18:32,068 --> 00:18:34,320 and it's really exciting for me to have a Black friend. 472 00:18:34,403 --> 00:18:37,365 - Oh. - Or, is it African American? 473 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,760 I don't know, 'cause there are two schools of thought on that. 474 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,994 What... what do you think? - Black is... is fine. 475 00:18:42,078 --> 00:18:43,078 - Okay. - Yes. 476 00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:45,540 So, Black. Cool. 477 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,585 And what... what's it like being Black at Essex? 478 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:52,172 Um, you know... 479 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:53,923 it's hard. Yeah. 480 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:56,384 You know, not a lot of people here get me. 481 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,635 And how could they? 482 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,429 I mean, we've led such different lives. 483 00:18:59,512 --> 00:19:02,557 You know, I've never touched cashmere before. 484 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:06,686 I don't really tell a lot of people this, but... 485 00:19:06,769 --> 00:19:08,188 my mom is addicted to crack. 486 00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:09,856 You know, that's my story. 487 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,234 And now I have to work three on-campus jobs 488 00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:17,321 just so I can send money back to her and my baby sister. 489 00:19:17,405 --> 00:19:21,034 And I just have to hope she doesn't spend it on crack. 490 00:19:21,117 --> 00:19:23,996 Oh, my God, that is just so much 491 00:19:24,078 --> 00:19:27,249 for you to be dealing with. - Yeah, yeah, but... 492 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,000 you know what? 493 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:32,421 It is nothing compared to what Lila has been through. 494 00:19:32,503 --> 00:19:39,176 I mean, that poor girl has it so much worse than me. 495 00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,762 What's Lila's story? 496 00:19:41,846 --> 00:19:44,266 [chalk drops] - Goddamn it. 497 00:19:44,348 --> 00:19:46,768 What the actual fuck, okay? 498 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,769 Do you guys have any idea how humiliating it is 499 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,355 to be friend-dumped in front of a clerical worker? 500 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,250 Believe me, Leight, we didn't want it to be this way. 501 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,109 Well, we did want it to be this way, 502 00:19:55,192 --> 00:19:57,237 but it hurts to see you so upset. 503 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,615 - I don't understand. I thought we were friends. 504 00:20:01,282 --> 00:20:03,618 Uh, what's with this fucking pause? 505 00:20:03,701 --> 00:20:04,994 Were we not friends? 506 00:20:05,077 --> 00:20:06,997 I mean, we hung out, obviously, 507 00:20:07,079 --> 00:20:10,459 but the truth is, we never really felt like we knew you. 508 00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:12,836 Yeah, you were always so secretive or something. 509 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,880 It was like being friends with a stranger. 510 00:20:14,962 --> 00:20:16,273 What are you guys talking about? 511 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,090 I literally tell you everything. 512 00:20:18,174 --> 00:20:19,425 I don't think that's true. 513 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:22,554 It's like there's this wall with you. 514 00:20:22,637 --> 00:20:24,513 No, there's... 515 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,644 God, okay, whatever! Whatever, I don't care. 516 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,647 I'm... I'm sorry that I'm not like an over-sharer 517 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,316 like every other girl in our fucking generation. 518 00:20:34,398 --> 00:20:36,484 I just think that you could open up more. 519 00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:40,489 Okay, okay, is this open enough for you? 520 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,824 Fuck you both, you really hurt my feelings, 521 00:20:42,907 --> 00:20:45,160 and I hope an air conditioner falls on you. 522 00:20:45,242 --> 00:20:48,329 [low energy music] 523 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,625 ♪ ♪ 524 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:53,167 [knock knock] 525 00:20:54,001 --> 00:20:56,253 Hey, you haven't been out in a bit, 526 00:20:56,337 --> 00:20:58,507 so I brought you some food from work. 527 00:20:58,589 --> 00:21:00,842 - What is it? - A burrito. 528 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:06,056 - Ugh, no, I don't want beef. Just throw it in the trash. 529 00:21:08,432 --> 00:21:09,601 Look, I know you wanted 530 00:21:09,684 --> 00:21:11,269 to room with your friends from home. 531 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:15,065 They're not my friends, they're mouth breathing cunts. 532 00:21:15,147 --> 00:21:16,732 Right, okay. 533 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,068 Well, I think if you give us a chance, 534 00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,569 you'll really like living with us. 535 00:21:20,653 --> 00:21:22,534 We're playing Uno in the other room right now... 536 00:21:22,571 --> 00:21:25,491 Okay, Kimberly, Kimberly, I'm from New York City, okay? 537 00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:28,036 And I know from your world, that probably sounds 538 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:29,496 like a really fun evening. 539 00:21:29,578 --> 00:21:32,708 But, for me, that's worse than getting a Pap smear. 540 00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:35,335 So can you shut the door when you leave? 541 00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,528 You guys can borrow any of my clothes you like... 542 00:21:44,552 --> 00:21:46,846 bras, underwear, nothing's off limits. 543 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,490 I'd like to borrow yours too, if that's cool. 544 00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,933 - Uh, I'll think about it. - Yeah. 545 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:54,061 Sure. No pressure... I'll follow up about it tomorrow. 546 00:21:54,895 --> 00:21:56,565 Hey, is this Leighton Murray's room? 547 00:21:56,647 --> 00:21:59,817 [mellow pop music intensifies] 548 00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:02,237 ♪ ♪ 549 00:22:02,319 --> 00:22:05,740 - Hello? - Yes, uh, she lives here. 550 00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:09,076 Damn, she's a lucky lady. You guys make a sexy couple. 551 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,912 - Ha ha. She's my sister, actually. 552 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,749 - Yikes. - Your Leighton's brother? 553 00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:15,625 Then you're practically family! 554 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:18,002 Come to Mama. - Oh. 555 00:22:18,086 --> 00:22:21,298 - Wow. It's like hugging a statue. 556 00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:23,967 - [chuckles] - Hi, uh, I'm Whitney. 557 00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:26,094 Sorry about her. - Oh, Whitney Chase. 558 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:27,596 Your mom's a senator, right? 559 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,765 That's really dope. 560 00:22:29,847 --> 00:22:33,602 - I'm Kimberly. My parents aren't famous. 561 00:22:33,684 --> 00:22:35,644 My dad's a manager at Walgreen's. 562 00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:39,023 - Cool. Nice to meet you, Kimberly. 563 00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:43,444 Nico, what are you doing here? 564 00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:47,907 Ha. Whoa, Leighton, you look like shit. 565 00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,827 Leight, this isn't that bad. 566 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,538 I mean, for what it's worth, 567 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,348 I thought all your friends in high school really sucked. 568 00:22:55,373 --> 00:22:57,584 Thanks, you always know how to cheer me up. 569 00:22:57,666 --> 00:22:59,627 Look, this could be a blessing in disguise. 570 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,087 I mean, I don't talk to anyone 571 00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:02,297 from high school anymore. 572 00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:04,465 Yeah, 'cause you don't need to. 573 00:23:04,548 --> 00:23:06,801 Okay, everyone wants to be friends with you. 574 00:23:06,884 --> 00:23:09,846 I'm just some judgmental dickhead with hormonal acne. 575 00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:13,517 - Hey, hey, stop. I think your face looks fine. 576 00:23:13,599 --> 00:23:15,477 That is because I use a great concealer. 577 00:23:15,559 --> 00:23:21,232 Look, Leight, you are the strongest person I know. 578 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:24,528 Okay, I'm your older brother, and I'm even scared of you. 579 00:23:24,611 --> 00:23:28,365 But you... you're going to crush Essex. 580 00:23:29,365 --> 00:23:32,410 - You really think so? - I do. 581 00:23:34,578 --> 00:23:36,373 You're a good person 582 00:23:36,455 --> 00:23:39,625 underneath all your bad qualities. 583 00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:41,961 Hmm, thank you. 584 00:23:44,588 --> 00:23:47,299 Hey, so, Cory keeps asking about you. 585 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:49,845 He's excited you're finally on campus. 586 00:23:49,927 --> 00:23:53,848 - Oh, cool. - So what should I tell him? 587 00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:55,451 You should tell him that I don't want 588 00:23:55,474 --> 00:23:57,685 to discuss my dating life with my older brother. 589 00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:59,938 - Ah, okay, fair enough. - Mm-hmm. 590 00:24:00,020 --> 00:24:02,231 All right. I'm gonna go. 591 00:24:02,315 --> 00:24:04,483 But I think you can handle being civil to those girls 592 00:24:04,567 --> 00:24:07,444 for the next eight months. They seem perfectly nice to me. 593 00:24:07,528 --> 00:24:09,698 That's 'cause they want to have sex with you. 594 00:24:09,780 --> 00:24:12,491 - I know they do. - Hey. 595 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,243 You're disgusting. 596 00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:18,123 I just... 597 00:24:18,205 --> 00:24:21,167 I've been such a bitch to them, you know? Like... 598 00:24:21,250 --> 00:24:23,586 Well, do something nice then. 599 00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:25,922 Show them you're gonna be a good roommate. 600 00:24:28,090 --> 00:24:30,676 I'll see you around. 601 00:24:33,346 --> 00:24:36,432 [clattering] 602 00:24:39,185 --> 00:24:40,979 Were you just changing in the closet? 603 00:24:41,061 --> 00:24:42,605 What? No. 604 00:24:42,689 --> 00:24:44,441 I mean, I went from one outfit to another. 605 00:24:44,523 --> 00:24:46,651 So, I mean, I guess you could call that changing. 606 00:24:46,734 --> 00:24:49,153 Are you, like, religious, or something? 607 00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:50,572 No. 608 00:24:50,654 --> 00:24:52,048 I've just never lived with anyone before, 609 00:24:52,073 --> 00:24:55,242 so I don't really know what to do. 610 00:24:55,326 --> 00:24:58,163 Hey, so I saw you checking out Leighton's brother tonight. 611 00:24:58,246 --> 00:25:00,582 - Oh, definitely not. No, I have Max. 612 00:25:00,664 --> 00:25:02,917 My boyfriend from home who I'm, like, in love with. 613 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,811 So if you're saying that because you like Nico, 614 00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:06,922 you should definitely go for it. 615 00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,339 Nah, that's all right. 616 00:25:08,423 --> 00:25:10,717 I like men, not boys. 617 00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:14,804 [cheerful music] 618 00:25:14,887 --> 00:25:19,934 ♪ ♪ 619 00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:23,270 - Hey, Lila. - Hey. 620 00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:27,107 I just want to say I'm so inspired by you. 621 00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:29,109 This morning when my alarm clock went off, 622 00:25:29,193 --> 00:25:30,528 I thought to myself, kill me! 623 00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:32,864 But then I was like, shut up, Kimberly. 624 00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,282 If Lila can go through what she's going through 625 00:25:35,366 --> 00:25:38,202 and come to work, you can get out of bed. 626 00:25:38,286 --> 00:25:40,163 What exactly am I going through? 627 00:25:40,247 --> 00:25:43,625 I mean, you know, it can't be easy with a baby. 628 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:47,378 And the baby's dad being incarcerated. 629 00:25:47,461 --> 00:25:49,172 'Cause prison isn't just for the prisoner. 630 00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:51,883 In a way, it's prison for the whole family. 631 00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:55,095 The fuck are you talking about? 632 00:25:55,177 --> 00:25:57,012 I don't have a kid or a baby daddy, 633 00:25:57,096 --> 00:25:58,722 and definitely not one that's in jail. 634 00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:03,394 Oh, but Canaan said... [laughter] 635 00:26:03,478 --> 00:26:05,230 Yeah, well, he was messing with you. 636 00:26:05,313 --> 00:26:06,815 And he knew you'd believe it too 637 00:26:06,897 --> 00:26:09,651 because you're some hick from Shit Town, Arizoni. 638 00:26:09,733 --> 00:26:12,153 Wow, Canaan, you're such an asshole. 639 00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:15,115 Okay, to be fair, it was pretty funny. 640 00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:16,657 So it was all bullshit? 641 00:26:16,740 --> 00:26:18,951 I bet your mom's not even addicted to crack. 642 00:26:19,035 --> 00:26:21,162 No, she's a paralegal in Maryland. 643 00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,832 Are you mad that my mom's not a crackhead? 644 00:26:23,914 --> 00:26:26,334 Yeah... I mean, no, I... 645 00:26:26,417 --> 00:26:28,461 I mean, I'm just trying to meet people 646 00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:29,730 at a school where I don't know anyone. 647 00:26:29,753 --> 00:26:31,006 You don't have to be a jerk. 648 00:26:31,088 --> 00:26:33,717 Okay, relax, relax. 649 00:26:33,799 --> 00:26:35,009 He doesn't mean it. 650 00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:37,721 He's going through a lot at home. 651 00:26:37,804 --> 00:26:40,515 His brother just ruined a promising football career 652 00:26:40,597 --> 00:26:45,103 by joining a gang. - Oh, well, I didn't know... 653 00:26:45,185 --> 00:26:46,520 His name is Rashad, 654 00:26:46,604 --> 00:26:49,481 but now he makes us call him Thug Blood. 655 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:51,151 - Oh, my God, come on. Shut up. 656 00:26:51,233 --> 00:26:53,903 What is wrong with you two? 657 00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:57,406 both: [laugh] 658 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:02,037 [rap music] 659 00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:03,246 Willow! 660 00:27:03,329 --> 00:27:05,039 ♪ And I twist twist twist ♪ 661 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,833 [whistle blows] 662 00:27:08,250 --> 00:27:09,669 Right here, right here! 663 00:27:09,752 --> 00:27:11,962 ♪ ♪ 664 00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:13,339 [whistle blows] - What the fuck? 665 00:27:13,423 --> 00:27:15,049 Let's go! 666 00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:17,028 ♪ Rockin' to that beat and breakin' on the knees ♪ 667 00:27:17,051 --> 00:27:18,595 ♪ Trippin' in the... ♪ 668 00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:20,323 All right, this is yours, Whitney, this is yours. 669 00:27:20,346 --> 00:27:21,681 - Ah! - Oh. 670 00:27:21,765 --> 00:27:24,392 - Aah! What the fuck is your problem? 671 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:25,869 Don't touch me, you entitled bitch. 672 00:27:25,894 --> 00:27:27,246 Hey, enough, enough, enough, enough! 673 00:27:27,269 --> 00:27:28,813 All right, you're done for the day, go. 674 00:27:28,896 --> 00:27:31,148 - Just me? Are you serious? She shoved me first. 675 00:27:31,231 --> 00:27:32,983 Everyone saw it. - Let's go. 676 00:27:33,067 --> 00:27:34,252 All right, back to practice everyone. 677 00:27:34,277 --> 00:27:35,778 Come on, what are you looking at? 678 00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:40,866 - What was that? - A Kit Kat? 679 00:27:40,950 --> 00:27:42,635 - Fuck your Kit Kat. I'm talking about Jena. 680 00:27:42,660 --> 00:27:44,078 She already hates me. 681 00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:45,472 The last thing I need is looking like 682 00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:46,914 I'm getting special treatment. 683 00:27:46,998 --> 00:27:49,084 Let me fight my own battles, I can handle myself. 684 00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:51,586 Yeah, if by handle yourself, you mean get your ass kicked. 685 00:27:51,669 --> 00:27:53,788 Jena was throwing you around the field like a ragdoll. 686 00:27:53,837 --> 00:27:56,340 What was I gonna do? Let her rip your head off? 687 00:27:56,423 --> 00:27:57,859 Look, this is my problem, not yours. 688 00:27:57,884 --> 00:28:00,095 Really, you're only making things worse. 689 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:02,221 Whitney. 690 00:28:06,183 --> 00:28:08,228 - Hey! Hey! 691 00:28:09,311 --> 00:28:11,564 Eric, right? I'm Bela Malhotra. 692 00:28:11,647 --> 00:28:13,107 I'm a freshman. 693 00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:16,361 I was at "The Catullan" Orientation the other day. 694 00:28:16,443 --> 00:28:19,279 Sorry, there's literally hundreds of people there. 695 00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:21,199 I'm still reeling from the emails. 696 00:28:21,281 --> 00:28:23,162 So, I... I know you said that we should drop off 697 00:28:23,201 --> 00:28:24,493 our submission packets, 698 00:28:24,576 --> 00:28:25,930 but I was wondering if I could film mine 699 00:28:25,953 --> 00:28:27,097 so you could hear it in my voice? 700 00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:28,248 Uh... 701 00:28:28,330 --> 00:28:29,767 Or I could read it to you right now. 702 00:28:29,790 --> 00:28:31,875 Oh, no, I really wouldn't like that. 703 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,711 Look, it's great that you're excited, 704 00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:36,297 but don't be too bummed if you don't make the staff this year. 705 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,258 - What? Why would you say that? 706 00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:39,968 It's just, with all the freshman 707 00:28:40,050 --> 00:28:41,851 and all the upperclassmen that are reapplying, 708 00:28:41,885 --> 00:28:44,055 uh, I don't know if there are gonna be 709 00:28:44,138 --> 00:28:47,224 that many female spots. - Female spot...? 710 00:28:47,307 --> 00:28:49,144 You haven't even read all the submissions yet. 711 00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:51,038 It's just a really competitive year, you know. 712 00:28:51,061 --> 00:28:52,705 A bunch of siblings of staff members are submitting, 713 00:28:52,730 --> 00:28:54,606 and we already have two women on staff, so... 714 00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:57,484 - Of, like, 15 people. - Look, I hate it too. 715 00:28:57,568 --> 00:28:58,694 I would give anything 716 00:28:58,778 --> 00:29:00,238 for Elizabeth Warren to be president, 717 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,240 but... keep your chin up. 718 00:29:02,323 --> 00:29:03,782 You know, if you love comedy, 719 00:29:03,866 --> 00:29:06,118 there's like five other improv troupes on campus. 720 00:29:07,662 --> 00:29:10,832 Oh, and that one group, the Pot Stickers, is all Asian. 721 00:29:10,914 --> 00:29:12,625 So... 722 00:29:16,587 --> 00:29:20,008 So, these are for you all. 723 00:29:21,925 --> 00:29:23,886 Come on, open them. 724 00:29:23,970 --> 00:29:27,932 - Oh, my God, an iPad? - An iPad? 725 00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:29,392 Holy Shit. 726 00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:31,603 So it looks like I will be staying, 727 00:29:31,685 --> 00:29:33,520 and this was my little way of 728 00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:35,856 apologizing for being such a bitch. 729 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:39,193 I should have never called you tacky, 730 00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:41,695 Podunk, new-money jock. 731 00:29:41,778 --> 00:29:45,532 - You never said that. - I didn't? Oh. 732 00:29:45,616 --> 00:29:47,242 Anyway, I really feel like we could have 733 00:29:47,326 --> 00:29:49,287 a positive living experience together. 734 00:29:49,369 --> 00:29:52,664 So what do you think? 735 00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:53,833 - Yeah. - Okay. 736 00:29:53,916 --> 00:29:55,335 - Okay. [knocking at door] 737 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,381 Hi, I um... 738 00:30:00,464 --> 00:30:01,883 - Oh, sorry. We don't want to sign 739 00:30:01,965 --> 00:30:03,109 your environment petition, or whatever. 740 00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:05,720 - Oh, um... - Max! 741 00:30:05,803 --> 00:30:07,262 Hey! 742 00:30:07,346 --> 00:30:10,391 Oh, my God, this is Max, my boyfriend. 743 00:30:10,474 --> 00:30:12,434 The one that looks like Shawn Mendes? 744 00:30:12,519 --> 00:30:15,020 Shawn Mendes, people tell me I look like that all the time. 745 00:30:15,104 --> 00:30:16,647 What... what are you doing here? 746 00:30:16,730 --> 00:30:18,066 Well, I wanted to surprise you, 747 00:30:18,148 --> 00:30:19,733 so I took the train up from Princeton, 748 00:30:19,817 --> 00:30:21,545 and thought I could stay with you through the weekend? 749 00:30:21,568 --> 00:30:25,323 - Of course, yes! I'm so happy to see you. 750 00:30:25,405 --> 00:30:26,865 You got some like, food? 751 00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:30,161 I'm starving, and I left my credit card at Princeton. 752 00:30:30,244 --> 00:30:33,623 [upbeat music] 753 00:30:33,705 --> 00:30:35,708 Hey, does anyone have plans tonight? 754 00:30:35,791 --> 00:30:36,917 I might. 755 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,295 Do any of you know what 756 00:30:39,378 --> 00:30:42,382 a Drop It Like F. Scott party is? 757 00:30:42,464 --> 00:30:45,093 - F. Scott Fitzgerald. - Huh? 758 00:30:45,175 --> 00:30:46,976 You basically have to look like a '20s slut. 759 00:30:47,052 --> 00:30:49,263 - Oh, sweet. "The Catullan" is throwing one 760 00:30:49,346 --> 00:30:50,547 for all the people submitting, 761 00:30:50,597 --> 00:30:51,891 but I don't know if I should go. 762 00:30:51,974 --> 00:30:53,518 I ran into the editor this morning, 763 00:30:53,601 --> 00:30:55,328 and he basically told me there's no reason to submit 764 00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:57,855 because there won't be any female spots this year. 765 00:30:57,939 --> 00:31:00,275 Oh, they have a quota for gender? 766 00:31:00,357 --> 00:31:01,483 That's insane. 767 00:31:01,567 --> 00:31:03,111 And you should definitely report him 768 00:31:03,193 --> 00:31:06,029 to University Affairs. Or, quite frankly, the ACLU. 769 00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:08,407 - [scoffs] - What? 770 00:31:08,490 --> 00:31:11,076 I'm sorry, but that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. 771 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,680 Well, you want them to pick you, right? 772 00:31:12,703 --> 00:31:13,829 Yeah. 773 00:31:13,913 --> 00:31:15,664 Okay, well, make them like you. 774 00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:18,084 Okay, like, don't be some histrionic feminist, 775 00:31:18,166 --> 00:31:21,546 just show them you're chill and you're fun to have around. 776 00:31:21,628 --> 00:31:24,715 I think Leighton's right. 777 00:31:26,342 --> 00:31:27,884 Girls! 778 00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:29,886 Desserts are out. 779 00:31:31,847 --> 00:31:34,642 [upbeat music] 780 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:38,980 ♪ I can see through you I see ♪ 781 00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:44,152 ♪ You can see through, I see you ♪ 782 00:31:44,234 --> 00:31:48,948 ♪ Seeing through you, I see see ♪ 783 00:31:52,242 --> 00:31:56,079 ♪ I wanna feel like this all the time ♪ 784 00:31:56,163 --> 00:31:59,875 ♪ Beat you with a little better line ♪ 785 00:31:59,959 --> 00:32:02,377 ♪ Yeah, oh got you messin' with me... ♪ 786 00:32:02,461 --> 00:32:03,796 Ryan! 787 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,590 Hey, Ryan, I just want to say, I love your work. 788 00:32:06,673 --> 00:32:09,594 - You love my work? Let me guess. 789 00:32:09,676 --> 00:32:11,179 Freshman. - Yeah. 790 00:32:11,261 --> 00:32:13,806 All right, take it easy. 791 00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:16,351 - Uh, uh, uh, uh? R... Ryan? 792 00:32:16,433 --> 00:32:19,228 I... I just want to say... 793 00:32:19,311 --> 00:32:22,981 as a woman of color, and, uh, as a woman in comedy... 794 00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:24,525 Hey, let me stop you right there. 795 00:32:24,608 --> 00:32:26,736 I'm super high right now, so whatever this is, 796 00:32:26,818 --> 00:32:28,363 it's being wasted on me. 797 00:32:28,445 --> 00:32:30,448 Hey, I... I just want to be part of "The Catullan." 798 00:32:30,530 --> 00:32:32,825 - That's awesome. But it's not up to me. 799 00:32:32,909 --> 00:32:34,410 We all vote. 800 00:32:34,493 --> 00:32:36,871 So if I were you, I'd try to get those guys on your side. 801 00:32:36,953 --> 00:32:39,915 [dance music] 802 00:32:39,999 --> 00:32:46,713 ♪ ♪ 803 00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:50,384 - You did what? - I gave six hand jobs! 804 00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:51,802 Not at the same time, or anything, 805 00:32:51,885 --> 00:32:53,554 I'm not like a porn star. 806 00:32:53,637 --> 00:32:55,932 I talked to each of them, told them I was a writer, 807 00:32:56,015 --> 00:32:58,726 that I loved their work, and if they voted for me, 808 00:32:58,809 --> 00:33:00,686 I could be into doing some hand stuff. 809 00:33:00,769 --> 00:33:01,872 I told them I'm a girl who's chill, 810 00:33:01,895 --> 00:33:03,564 just like you told me to. 811 00:33:03,647 --> 00:33:06,733 I... I definitely didn't tell you to jerk a bunch of dicks. 812 00:33:06,817 --> 00:33:08,903 Okay, first off, why the shade? 813 00:33:08,986 --> 00:33:11,405 I got two things out of this. This is a win-win for me. 814 00:33:11,489 --> 00:33:13,490 I helped my chances of getting on "The Catullan," 815 00:33:13,574 --> 00:33:15,242 and I got to give a bunch of hand jobs. 816 00:33:15,326 --> 00:33:16,868 No one likes giving hand jobs! 817 00:33:16,952 --> 00:33:19,579 - Maybe I do. Maybe I love it. 818 00:33:19,663 --> 00:33:21,749 I've had, like, zero sexual experiences 819 00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,584 for most of my sad-ass life, 820 00:33:23,667 --> 00:33:26,002 so if suddenly I'm hot enough to have a bunch of dicks 821 00:33:26,086 --> 00:33:28,381 thrown my way, sorry, but, I'ma crank them. 822 00:33:28,463 --> 00:33:30,173 - Ugh. - What's going on? 823 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,384 Bela traded sex for an opportunity. 824 00:33:32,468 --> 00:33:34,070 Just like men have been doing for centuries, 825 00:33:34,095 --> 00:33:35,930 I flipped the script. - I'm not sure you did. 826 00:33:36,012 --> 00:33:39,642 - I'm sex positive, y'all! Deal with it. 827 00:33:39,726 --> 00:33:43,645 As a feminist, I think female sex positivity is great. 828 00:33:45,021 --> 00:33:48,151 [upbeat music] 829 00:33:48,233 --> 00:33:50,737 ♪ ♪ 830 00:33:50,819 --> 00:33:53,614 - You're so beautiful. - Thank you. 831 00:33:53,698 --> 00:33:57,242 - I like your skin tone. - Uh, my skin tone? 832 00:33:57,326 --> 00:33:58,952 What? What did I say? 833 00:33:59,036 --> 00:34:00,836 You sound like you have a Black girl fetish. 834 00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,583 - No! - You said no really fast. 835 00:34:03,665 --> 00:34:06,586 I mean, I do tend to find Black women more attractive 836 00:34:06,669 --> 00:34:09,505 than other kinds of women, but that's okay, right? 837 00:34:09,588 --> 00:34:11,423 Yeah, that's okay, 838 00:34:11,507 --> 00:34:13,967 until you're like, "Ooh, I love your chocolatey skin." 839 00:34:14,050 --> 00:34:17,137 - I did not say chocolatey. I know not to say that. 840 00:34:17,221 --> 00:34:21,726 I really like you. - Okay, good. 841 00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:23,311 I like you too. 842 00:34:23,393 --> 00:34:24,896 If anything, I have a soccer fetish. 843 00:34:24,978 --> 00:34:27,356 [movement at door] [whispers] Oh, shit. 844 00:34:30,067 --> 00:34:32,445 We should go. 845 00:34:32,527 --> 00:34:35,155 Well, Leighton is basically Melania, 846 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,159 but the rest of them seem pretty nice. 847 00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:41,661 Oh, I'm so glad to see you. 848 00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:44,956 The adjustment's been way harder than I expected. 849 00:34:45,041 --> 00:34:46,833 I didn't know how rich everyone would be. 850 00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:48,503 Oh, it's the same at Princeton. 851 00:34:48,585 --> 00:34:51,505 My roommate's family brought help on moving day. 852 00:34:51,588 --> 00:34:54,382 Oh, my... 853 00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:57,594 But I guess you and I can be poor together. 854 00:35:00,889 --> 00:35:03,976 - I love you. - I love you too. 855 00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:13,820 [Tom Speight's "Collide"] 856 00:35:13,902 --> 00:35:19,574 ♪ ♪ 857 00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:21,369 Everybody's asleep. 858 00:35:21,452 --> 00:35:23,411 - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 859 00:35:26,666 --> 00:35:28,876 ♪ Two hearts and three lost words ♪ 860 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,795 ♪ Fall through the universe ♪ 861 00:35:31,878 --> 00:35:34,590 Should we... 862 00:35:34,673 --> 00:35:39,177 I mean, only if you're ready. - I'm so ready. 863 00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:42,764 ♪ You are ♪ 864 00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:48,019 ♪ With me from the end to the start ♪ 865 00:35:48,103 --> 00:35:50,898 ♪ When gravity pulls on us ♪ 866 00:35:50,981 --> 00:35:53,568 ♪ You are ♪ 867 00:35:53,650 --> 00:35:58,155 ♪ With me from the end to the start ♪ 868 00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,740 Is that... oh. 869 00:36:01,951 --> 00:36:04,036 [soft groaning] 870 00:36:04,119 --> 00:36:05,704 Wow. 871 00:36:08,164 --> 00:36:11,043 ♪ When gravity pulls on us ♪ 872 00:36:11,126 --> 00:36:14,255 [both groaning softly] 873 00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:16,465 Holy shit. 874 00:36:17,173 --> 00:36:18,675 So, I have to work until 10:00, 875 00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:21,262 but we can meet up for a late breakfast after, 876 00:36:21,344 --> 00:36:22,762 if you want. 877 00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,224 [gasps] Or we could go to the campus store 878 00:36:25,307 --> 00:36:29,353 and get you one of those "Proud Essex Boyfriend" T-shirts. 879 00:36:30,103 --> 00:36:32,315 What's up? What's wrong? 880 00:36:32,398 --> 00:36:37,277 So, I was thinking, maybe we should both be free. 881 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,905 - I totally agree. Uh, free from what. 882 00:36:39,989 --> 00:36:42,867 Free from each other. 883 00:36:42,949 --> 00:36:46,579 Uh, like free from each other... 884 00:36:46,661 --> 00:36:49,539 Like, are... are you... are you breaking up with me? 885 00:36:49,623 --> 00:36:51,918 I think of it more as me 886 00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:55,170 initiating a conversation of our mutual independence. 887 00:36:55,253 --> 00:36:57,380 Are you fucking kidding me? 888 00:36:57,465 --> 00:37:00,009 You took my virginity, and now you're dumping me? 889 00:37:00,092 --> 00:37:01,862 Whoa, whoa, whoa, we took each other's virginity. 890 00:37:01,885 --> 00:37:04,137 Mine was just as fragile as yours. 891 00:37:04,221 --> 00:37:05,639 Dude, that is fucked up. 892 00:37:05,722 --> 00:37:07,766 Uh, can we have some privacy, please? 893 00:37:07,849 --> 00:37:09,059 Uh, no. 894 00:37:09,143 --> 00:37:10,536 You had the common room all last night 895 00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,103 with your grunty, novice boinking 896 00:37:12,188 --> 00:37:13,981 while we were trapped in our rooms. 897 00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,817 And we had to listen to your crappy sex playlist on repeat. 898 00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:18,485 You made me hate Ed Sheeran. 899 00:37:18,568 --> 00:37:21,614 - Is that why you came here? To have sex and then dump me? 900 00:37:21,697 --> 00:37:24,407 Look, I really care about you, Kimberly. 901 00:37:24,492 --> 00:37:25,659 No, don't say anything. 902 00:37:25,742 --> 00:37:28,496 I never, ever want to see you again. 903 00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:36,378 Um... I am so sorry about that, 904 00:37:36,461 --> 00:37:39,798 and I'm gonna go, but I did forget my toothbrush. 905 00:37:39,882 --> 00:37:41,675 Put a shirt on! 906 00:37:41,759 --> 00:37:43,052 Get the fuck out of here, dude! 907 00:37:43,135 --> 00:37:45,887 [upbeat music] 908 00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:49,182 - Hi, Bela. Hi, Bela, hi, Bela. 909 00:37:49,266 --> 00:37:50,726 Hi, Bela. Hi, Bela. 910 00:37:50,809 --> 00:37:52,978 I wanna... no matter what happens, 911 00:37:53,061 --> 00:37:54,396 I want you to know that... 912 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,023 No matter what, I want you to know 913 00:37:56,106 --> 00:37:57,608 that I am so proud of you. 914 00:37:57,692 --> 00:37:59,452 This is gonna be... Hi, Bela, it's you, Bela. 915 00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:01,277 No matter what happens. Hi, Bela. 916 00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:03,364 Testing, testing? 917 00:38:03,447 --> 00:38:07,909 Hi, Bela, it's you, Bela. 918 00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:11,454 Today you find out if you make "The Catullan" or not. 919 00:38:11,539 --> 00:38:14,583 But I want you to know that no matter what happens today, 920 00:38:14,666 --> 00:38:17,795 I'm proud of you. You're a boss bitch. 921 00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:19,380 And just remember, 922 00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:22,215 Molly Shannon didn't get "SNL" on her first try. 923 00:38:22,298 --> 00:38:24,050 Neither did Rachel Dratch. 924 00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:27,847 But eventually they all did and went on to become icons. 925 00:38:27,929 --> 00:38:30,056 And you know what? You fucking will... 926 00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:32,268 Aah! 927 00:38:32,351 --> 00:38:33,978 Yes! 928 00:38:34,061 --> 00:38:35,980 [screams] 929 00:38:36,063 --> 00:38:38,273 Dude, can you move? Your reflection's in my selfie. 930 00:38:38,356 --> 00:38:41,318 [upbeat music] 931 00:38:41,402 --> 00:38:44,739 ♪ ♪ 932 00:38:44,822 --> 00:38:47,907 - Dalton! - Hey. 933 00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:51,536 - Hey! Dude, are you serious? 934 00:38:51,619 --> 00:38:55,916 Are Tapitio Doritos really part of a healthy on-season diet? 935 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,335 Shouldn't you be leading by example? 936 00:38:58,418 --> 00:39:01,088 - Yeah, no, I know, I just... - Babe. 937 00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:03,757 Babe, is this one of your players? 938 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,010 Hi, I'm Michelle. I'm Dalton's wife. 939 00:39:06,092 --> 00:39:08,929 It's so nice to meet you. 940 00:39:09,012 --> 00:39:12,932 - This is Whitney. - Oh, my God, of course. 941 00:39:13,016 --> 00:39:14,702 I'm sorry, not to be a stalker, or anything, 942 00:39:14,726 --> 00:39:16,478 but I'm a big fan of your mom. 943 00:39:16,561 --> 00:39:18,021 The way she gives it to the NRA... 944 00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:22,025 I just love her. - Thanks, she's great. 945 00:39:22,108 --> 00:39:25,237 Yeah, I gotta go. 946 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,032 But it's really nice to put a face 947 00:39:28,114 --> 00:39:31,034 with the name I've heard so many times. 948 00:39:31,117 --> 00:39:32,536 Bye. 949 00:39:32,619 --> 00:39:35,581 [emotional music] 950 00:39:35,664 --> 00:39:42,755 ♪ ♪ 951 00:39:57,853 --> 00:39:59,563 Hey! 952 00:39:59,646 --> 00:40:03,067 Did you just throw your trash on the floor in front of him? 953 00:40:03,150 --> 00:40:04,652 He was already sweeping there. 954 00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:06,528 Oh, so you just bounce your little 955 00:40:06,612 --> 00:40:08,822 breakfast wrap wrapper on the ground 956 00:40:08,905 --> 00:40:10,574 instead of carrying it to the trash 957 00:40:10,657 --> 00:40:12,492 like a normal fucking person? 958 00:40:12,576 --> 00:40:13,994 What the fuck is wrong with you? 959 00:40:14,077 --> 00:40:15,454 He's not your Goddamn servant. 960 00:40:15,538 --> 00:40:17,664 - It's not a big deal. - Look, I get it. 961 00:40:17,748 --> 00:40:19,500 You're some asshole from that town 962 00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:21,126 where they shot "Big Little Lies" 963 00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:23,378 or some shit, and you wear 100 fucking dollar jeans. 964 00:40:23,461 --> 00:40:25,755 That's not a lot of money for jeans. 965 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,048 Shut the fuck up. 966 00:40:27,132 --> 00:40:28,568 Not everyone on this campus has money. 967 00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:30,260 Some of us have to work these jobs 968 00:40:30,344 --> 00:40:32,405 because, even if we didn't know it until we got here, 969 00:40:32,429 --> 00:40:33,806 we're kind of poor. 970 00:40:33,889 --> 00:40:35,807 So, yeah, maybe I don't have the newest iPhone, 971 00:40:35,891 --> 00:40:37,893 and maybe I don't know what couscous is, 972 00:40:37,976 --> 00:40:40,186 but I'm still a fucking person, and so is he, 973 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,773 so treat us like we fucking matter, okay? 974 00:40:42,856 --> 00:40:45,192 Okay, fine. 975 00:40:45,275 --> 00:40:46,693 I'm sorry. 976 00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:51,782 And no pants should cost more than $40. 977 00:40:51,865 --> 00:40:53,742 I agree with you, bitch. 978 00:40:53,826 --> 00:40:56,911 [upbeat music] 979 00:40:56,996 --> 00:40:59,706 - Oh, my God. This donut is insane. 980 00:40:59,789 --> 00:41:01,125 Do you want a bite? 981 00:41:01,208 --> 00:41:03,210 - Uh, no thanks. I don't eat for enjoyment. 982 00:41:03,293 --> 00:41:06,213 - Leighton, sup? - Hi. 983 00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:07,547 You remember Cory, right? 984 00:41:07,630 --> 00:41:09,215 From the party at Montauk last summer? 985 00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:12,052 Uh, we were on the same team for flag football. 986 00:41:12,135 --> 00:41:13,387 Montauk? Flag football? 987 00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:16,056 That's the whitest shit I've ever heard. 988 00:41:16,139 --> 00:41:18,766 I mean that as a compliment. - Oh. 989 00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:21,061 Hey, if you need a tour around campus, 990 00:41:21,144 --> 00:41:23,521 or something, let me know. 991 00:41:23,606 --> 00:41:25,231 Okay, thanks. 992 00:41:25,315 --> 00:41:27,543 - Does that offer include me? - No, it definitely does not. 993 00:41:27,568 --> 00:41:29,277 Hey, um, I know we just met, 994 00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:30,838 but would you be willing to lift your shirt up 995 00:41:30,862 --> 00:41:33,239 and show me your torso? [both laughing] 996 00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:35,576 I don't think anyone's ever asked me that before. 997 00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:36,744 [clears throat] 998 00:41:36,827 --> 00:41:38,829 Excuse me. 999 00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:41,748 - Ho-ho! That's great. You're very nice. 1000 00:41:41,831 --> 00:41:44,083 Hey, if you and your roommates are free tonight, 1001 00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:46,085 we're throwing a party at Theta Pi Delta. 1002 00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:49,797 You should stop by. - Yeah, stop by. 1003 00:41:52,384 --> 00:41:56,222 Oh, my God, Leighton, you're gonna fuck a ten! 1004 00:41:56,304 --> 00:41:57,639 Wow! 1005 00:42:02,186 --> 00:42:03,646 Out of these beds, motherfuckers, 1006 00:42:03,728 --> 00:42:05,563 because our suite just got invited 1007 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:07,775 to an upperclassmen party. 1008 00:42:07,858 --> 00:42:10,693 - I don't know about that. Uh, today was really shitty. 1009 00:42:10,777 --> 00:42:12,112 I'm just gonna stay in 1010 00:42:12,195 --> 00:42:13,905 and finish this sad Brazilian documentary 1011 00:42:13,989 --> 00:42:15,449 about a snake who ate a boy. 1012 00:42:15,532 --> 00:42:17,952 Yeah, I'm staying in too. 1013 00:42:18,034 --> 00:42:19,577 - No, no, no, no, no. Turn them off. 1014 00:42:19,661 --> 00:42:21,204 We're going out. 1015 00:42:21,288 --> 00:42:23,998 How, exactly, did we get invited to this party anyway? 1016 00:42:24,083 --> 00:42:26,418 Oh, Leighton's smoke show brother, Nico. 1017 00:42:26,501 --> 00:42:29,463 And his somehow even hotter friend Cory, 1018 00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:30,880 who wants to rail Leighton. 1019 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:33,550 Yeah, I really, really don't want to go. 1020 00:42:33,634 --> 00:42:36,262 [sighs] Kimberly. 1021 00:42:36,344 --> 00:42:37,512 Sweetie. 1022 00:42:37,596 --> 00:42:39,389 Your boyfriend Max fucking sucked. 1023 00:42:39,472 --> 00:42:40,974 He ate all our Nutri-Grain bars, 1024 00:42:41,057 --> 00:42:42,851 and I'm pretty sure he used my loofa. 1025 00:42:42,934 --> 00:42:46,105 I know he was your first love, and your first, you know, 1026 00:42:46,188 --> 00:42:47,690 dick, 1027 00:42:47,773 --> 00:42:49,023 but he was a dud. 1028 00:42:49,108 --> 00:42:51,025 Also, he shed on the sofa like a cat. 1029 00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:53,487 The dude was a yeti. - Ugh. 1030 00:42:53,570 --> 00:42:56,489 Look, we don't have power over 1031 00:42:56,572 --> 00:42:58,199 when guys treat us like shit. 1032 00:42:58,284 --> 00:43:00,827 But what we can control is how much we let it affect us. 1033 00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:02,996 I think Hillary Clinton said that. 1034 00:43:03,079 --> 00:43:08,085 So, I say the four of us go out, get tanked, 1035 00:43:08,168 --> 00:43:09,807 and, who knows, maybe we'll end up meeting 1036 00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:11,755 a guy who doesn't treat us like garbage. 1037 00:43:11,838 --> 00:43:13,423 Or not. It doesn't matter. 1038 00:43:13,507 --> 00:43:15,509 At least we'll be having fun. 1039 00:43:15,592 --> 00:43:17,635 What do you think? 1040 00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,847 Come on, come on, come on, come on! 1041 00:43:20,931 --> 00:43:23,182 Yes! Yes! 1042 00:43:23,266 --> 00:43:26,061 Yeah, she does! 1043 00:43:26,144 --> 00:43:28,438 We're gonna go out! 1044 00:43:28,521 --> 00:43:31,442 [electronic music] 1045 00:43:31,525 --> 00:43:35,570 ♪ ♪ 1046 00:43:35,653 --> 00:43:39,532 ♪ Tonight, tonight I'm solo dancing in my room ♪ 1047 00:43:39,615 --> 00:43:43,579 ♪ Tonight, tonight, got time for me, no time for you ♪ 1048 00:43:43,661 --> 00:43:47,373 ♪ Tonight I'm trying to stay in on my own again ♪ 1049 00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:54,380 ♪ ♪ 1050 00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:56,759 [rap music playing] 1051 00:43:56,842 --> 00:43:58,344 It's freezing. 1052 00:43:58,427 --> 00:44:00,155 I wish you had let me wear my anorak like I had wanted. 1053 00:44:00,179 --> 00:44:02,114 No one in the history of the world has gotten laid 1054 00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:03,891 wearing an anorak. 1055 00:44:05,351 --> 00:44:07,436 Nico! 1056 00:44:07,518 --> 00:44:11,023 - Yo, let those girls through. - Yeah, ha-ha! 1057 00:44:11,106 --> 00:44:15,068 Oh, goddamn it, you know, I left my phone in the room. 1058 00:44:15,152 --> 00:44:16,612 I'm gonna go back and get it. 1059 00:44:16,695 --> 00:44:18,465 No, no, no, no, no, it's fine, just use mine. 1060 00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:19,632 No, it's okay, I'll be right back. 1061 00:44:19,655 --> 00:44:20,884 Do you want us to wait for you? 1062 00:44:20,907 --> 00:44:22,826 - No, it is fine. Go in, go in. 1063 00:44:22,909 --> 00:44:25,161 Let's go, my tits are freezing off. 1064 00:44:33,878 --> 00:44:35,463 [dance music] 1065 00:44:35,547 --> 00:44:39,467 - [laughs] - Wow. 1066 00:44:39,550 --> 00:44:43,389 I can't believe we got in here. - I fucking love college. 1067 00:44:43,472 --> 00:44:45,849 ♪ There's nothing left to hide and I ♪ 1068 00:44:45,932 --> 00:44:47,476 ♪ Don't wanna think about you ♪ 1069 00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:51,688 ♪ I got you in my head, on my mind ♪ 1070 00:44:51,771 --> 00:44:53,273 ♪ ♪ 1071 00:44:53,356 --> 00:44:54,775 Oh, shit. 1072 00:44:54,858 --> 00:44:57,568 Those two girls from "The Catullan" are over there. 1073 00:44:57,652 --> 00:44:58,987 Oh, go say hi. 1074 00:44:59,070 --> 00:45:00,840 Not yet, I'm gonna play cool for a little bit. 1075 00:45:00,864 --> 00:45:02,365 Gotta keep it chill. 1076 00:45:02,449 --> 00:45:04,568 Dude, can you stop looking? - I'm not looking at them. 1077 00:45:04,617 --> 00:45:06,536 Just keep your head facing forward. 1078 00:45:06,619 --> 00:45:08,496 Okay, fine! 1079 00:45:10,039 --> 00:45:12,126 Next. 1080 00:45:12,208 --> 00:45:14,420 - Oh, no, I'm sorry. These are open containers. 1081 00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:16,213 So? 1082 00:45:16,295 --> 00:45:17,440 So someone could have put something in it. 1083 00:45:17,463 --> 00:45:18,757 Do you have a bottle or a can? 1084 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:20,300 Oh, sure. 1085 00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:22,237 This frat party has a wide variety of drink options. 1086 00:45:22,260 --> 00:45:24,096 Do you want to see a wine list? 1087 00:45:24,179 --> 00:45:27,141 I... I think you're being sarcastic, but I'm not sure. 1088 00:45:27,224 --> 00:45:28,684 - These are great. Thank you so much. 1089 00:45:28,766 --> 00:45:30,436 We're gonna go. Thanks. 1090 00:45:34,148 --> 00:45:35,983 [phone buzzes] crowd: Chug, chug, 1091 00:45:36,065 --> 00:45:43,489 Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! 1092 00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:44,907 Whoa! 1093 00:45:47,034 --> 00:45:48,829 Oh, my God, are you okay? 1094 00:45:48,911 --> 00:45:50,431 - Yeah, uh... - Let me get you some napkins. 1095 00:45:50,456 --> 00:45:51,998 No, no, I just want to leave. 1096 00:45:52,081 --> 00:45:53,362 I shouldn't have even come here. 1097 00:45:53,416 --> 00:45:54,726 Do you want us to come with you? 1098 00:45:54,751 --> 00:45:58,338 No, I really want to be alone. 1099 00:46:01,717 --> 00:46:03,177 Hey. 1100 00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:04,760 I know you, right? 1101 00:46:04,844 --> 00:46:06,512 Yeah, I live with your sister. 1102 00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,641 - No, not that. I saw you on move-in day. 1103 00:46:09,724 --> 00:46:11,101 You were checking me out. 1104 00:46:11,184 --> 00:46:13,061 - Me? I was not checking you out. 1105 00:46:13,896 --> 00:46:16,190 I mean, I might have been looking at you, 1106 00:46:16,273 --> 00:46:18,083 and, yes, might eyes might have lingered on your body, 1107 00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:20,735 but that's like a totally normal human reaction 1108 00:46:20,818 --> 00:46:22,112 to a shirtless man running. 1109 00:46:22,195 --> 00:46:23,672 I definitely was not checking you out. 1110 00:46:23,697 --> 00:46:26,407 Whoa, whoa, I'm just messing with you, relax. 1111 00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:28,911 Are you leaving? - I am. 1112 00:46:28,994 --> 00:46:30,954 Wow, is our party that bad 1113 00:46:31,038 --> 00:46:32,599 that even freshmen are leaving this early? 1114 00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:35,250 No, I'm just having a really shitty day. 1115 00:46:35,333 --> 00:46:37,376 Well, what's going on? 1116 00:46:37,460 --> 00:46:40,338 I wanted to wear my anorak, and no one would let me. 1117 00:46:40,422 --> 00:46:41,882 And now I'm covered in pumpkin ale, 1118 00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:43,675 and my stupid fucking boyfriend dumped me, 1119 00:46:43,759 --> 00:46:47,012 And I'm pretty sure he stole my deodorant before leaving. 1120 00:46:47,094 --> 00:46:51,141 - Jesus Christ. - I know. 1121 00:46:51,224 --> 00:46:52,851 Have a nice night. - Hey, wait. 1122 00:46:52,934 --> 00:46:54,519 I can help with this. 1123 00:46:54,603 --> 00:46:56,438 Why don't I grab you something dry to wear, 1124 00:46:56,521 --> 00:47:00,025 and you can stay, and Theta can save a little face. 1125 00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:04,780 - Yeah. Yeah, okay, I can do that. 1126 00:47:04,862 --> 00:47:05,947 Deal. 1127 00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:09,001 Wow, I'm really smelling the beer on you now. 1128 00:47:09,034 --> 00:47:10,869 I think a bunch of it got into my bra. 1129 00:47:10,952 --> 00:47:13,204 - [laughs] Let me grab you that shirt. 1130 00:47:15,289 --> 00:47:19,085 ♪ Going insane, all the alcohol is to blame ♪ 1131 00:47:19,168 --> 00:47:21,505 ♪ Came down from... ♪ 1132 00:47:21,588 --> 00:47:23,965 Hey, it's me, Bela. 1133 00:47:24,048 --> 00:47:25,925 Made the first cut of "The Catullan." 1134 00:47:26,009 --> 00:47:28,427 I'm really excited to work with you guys. 1135 00:47:28,512 --> 00:47:30,972 Us girls in comedy gotta stick together, right? 1136 00:47:31,056 --> 00:47:33,684 Blow me, freshman slut. 1137 00:47:35,518 --> 00:47:37,271 Maybe you should have checked first 1138 00:47:37,353 --> 00:47:40,983 to see if any of those guys you jerked off had girlfriends. 1139 00:47:41,065 --> 00:47:44,360 ♪ ♪ 1140 00:47:44,443 --> 00:47:45,903 You know, my friends and I used 1141 00:47:45,987 --> 00:47:47,465 to steal shit from Walgreen's all the time. 1142 00:47:47,489 --> 00:47:49,324 My dad would not be happy about that. 1143 00:47:49,407 --> 00:47:50,951 - Hey. - Hey. 1144 00:47:51,034 --> 00:47:54,036 - Sorry, can we go? - Oh, sure, is everything okay? 1145 00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:57,331 Yeah, totally, party's lame, just want to go. 1146 00:47:57,416 --> 00:48:00,043 - Sorry. - Oh, it's all good. 1147 00:48:00,126 --> 00:48:01,586 Another time. 1148 00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,338 Should we grab Whitney and Leighton? 1149 00:48:03,422 --> 00:48:04,965 Whitney said she wants to stay, 1150 00:48:05,047 --> 00:48:07,675 and Leighton didn't come back. She totally blew us off. 1151 00:48:07,759 --> 00:48:09,677 - Mm. Let's go. 1152 00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,012 Thank you. 1153 00:48:12,264 --> 00:48:14,307 - Hey, I'm Whitney. - Canaan. 1154 00:48:14,391 --> 00:48:16,309 - Canaan? - Yes, Canaan. 1155 00:48:16,393 --> 00:48:17,686 Is your mom religious 1156 00:48:17,768 --> 00:48:19,646 or just super into towns of Connecticut? 1157 00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:22,106 Can't it be both? 1158 00:48:22,190 --> 00:48:23,317 What dorm you in? 1159 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,568 - No. - Excuse me? 1160 00:48:25,652 --> 00:48:27,487 Neither of us care what dorm I'm in. 1161 00:48:27,570 --> 00:48:30,657 I want to see your room. - What? 1162 00:48:30,740 --> 00:48:34,661 Show me what your room looks like. 1163 00:48:34,744 --> 00:48:37,748 - Oh! Oh, you trying to fuck. 1164 00:48:37,831 --> 00:48:40,666 Oh, yeah, yeah, let's show you the room. 1165 00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:43,753 Damn, I must look good tonight. - You're all right. 1166 00:48:43,836 --> 00:48:45,338 [laughs] 1167 00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:02,230 [phone chimes] 1168 00:49:02,313 --> 00:49:04,608 [phone chimes again] 1169 00:49:04,690 --> 00:49:07,818 [phone continues chiming] 1170 00:49:12,449 --> 00:49:15,409 - Another. - Sure. 1171 00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:18,538 [mellow song] 1172 00:49:18,621 --> 00:49:26,213 ♪ ♪ 1173 00:49:26,295 --> 00:49:30,675 ♪ My, my, hey, hey ♪ 1174 00:49:30,759 --> 00:49:34,887 ♪ ♪ 1175 00:49:34,971 --> 00:49:39,518 ♪ Rock and roll is here to stay ♪ 1176 00:49:39,601 --> 00:49:42,603 ♪ ♪ 1177 00:49:42,688 --> 00:49:46,733 [heavy breathing] 1178 00:49:57,911 --> 00:50:01,914 - You're so hot. - No talking. 1179 00:50:01,998 --> 00:50:03,916 Get on the bed. 1180 00:50:19,181 --> 00:50:23,561 ♪ King is gone, but he's not forgotten ♪ 1181 00:50:23,644 --> 00:50:27,648 ♪ ♪ 1182 00:50:27,733 --> 00:50:32,320 ♪ This is the story of Johnny Rotten ♪ 1183 00:50:32,403 --> 00:50:36,407 ♪ ♪ 1184 00:50:36,490 --> 00:50:40,369 ♪ It's better to burn out ♪ 1185 00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:44,958 ♪ Than it is to rust ♪ 1186 00:50:45,041 --> 00:50:49,920 ♪ The king is gone, but he's not forgotten ♪ 1187 00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:57,094 ♪ ♪ 1188 00:51:02,934 --> 00:51:06,855 ♪ Hey, hey, my, my ♪ 1189 00:51:06,938 --> 00:51:11,525 ♪ ♪ 1190 00:51:11,610 --> 00:51:15,697 ♪ Rock and roll can never die ♪ 1191 00:51:15,780 --> 00:51:19,992 ♪ ♪ 1192 00:51:20,076 --> 00:51:24,456 ♪ There's more to the picture ♪ 88543