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Angelenos head into day five
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of record heat and a
citywide power outage.
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If you think this is great,
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wait till I show you the ocean.
5
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I think she's gonna be fine.
6
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- But how are you doing?
- Shaky.
7
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I just feel like the
adrenaline's wearing off.
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Then you should get her home.
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I bet you both could
use a good night's sleep.
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Hi.
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I am sure
12
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that you're confused
13
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and hurt and...
14
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and probably really scared.
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I don't...
really know what to say.
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00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:59,507
You don't need to go to the police,
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or come looking for me.
18
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I'm not in any danger, and
no one is making me do this.
19
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But Jee is not safe with me.
20
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Not now and maybe...
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I know that you're gonna
take really good care of her.
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And she's better off without me.
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I love you.
24
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I love both of you.
25
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And I'm really sorry.
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- What is going on?
- Maddie, what did you do to him?
27
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Where did you get that?
28
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You should have left it where it was.
29
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Do you think this was my fault?
30
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No, it was my fault.
31
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That's right.
32
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You're never the one
getting left behind.
33
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You're the one who leaves.
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If something was to
happen to you or her,
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I can't carry that, Maddie.
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That will be the thing that
breaks me, so please...
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
38
00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:41,793
Have you had any
suicidal thoughts recently?
39
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Yes.
40
00:02:43,522 --> 00:02:46,531
Frequently,
sometimes, or rarely?
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Past few months.
42
00:02:48,451 --> 00:02:51,887
Have you had suicidal
thoughts in your past?
43
00:02:54,123 --> 00:02:55,623
Sometimes.
44
00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:57,726
How long ago?
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I was in an abusive marriage.
46
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I had thoughts then, but not like this.
47
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What about before that? Growing up,
48
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did you have any feelings of depression?
49
00:03:13,382 --> 00:03:15,810
- Suicidal ideations?
- Depression? Yeah.
50
00:03:15,812 --> 00:03:19,164
Off and on. It started when I was a kid.
51
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,725
At what age?
52
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I don't know, like, nine,
53
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- ten.
- You were very young.
54
00:03:26,023 --> 00:03:28,565
My brother died. He was sick.
55
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I'm sorry for your loss.
56
00:03:30,242 --> 00:03:32,606
That must've been hard
at such a young age.
57
00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:35,162
Is there a history of
depression in your family?
58
00:03:35,164 --> 00:03:36,872
My mom. She, uh...
59
00:03:38,334 --> 00:03:41,836
...talked a lot about wanting
to die after losing my brother.
60
00:03:41,838 --> 00:03:45,932
Do you engage in any form of self-harm?
61
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,275
No.
62
00:03:48,845 --> 00:03:52,739
But three days ago, I tried
to drown myself in the ocean.
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00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:57,760
♪ The winter here's cold... ♪
64
00:03:57,763 --> 00:04:00,332
Okay, after Patty's
done taking your blood,
65
00:04:00,335 --> 00:04:02,857
we'll take you to get
an ECG and a CT scan,
66
00:04:02,859 --> 00:04:05,026
and then you can get some rest.
67
00:04:05,028 --> 00:04:06,878
What happens tomorrow?
68
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,379
Breakfast starts at 7:00. Meds at 8:00.
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00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,335
Group starts at 9:00.
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♪ To long too far ♪
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♪ From home ♪
72
00:04:18,541 --> 00:04:22,957
♪ I feel just like I'm sinking ♪
73
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♪ And I claw ♪
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♪ For solid ground ♪
75
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♪ I'm pulled down by the undertow ♪
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♪ I never thought ♪
77
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♪ I could feel so low ♪
78
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♪ And, oh... ♪
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00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:44,325
Okay, and meds are at 8:00.
80
00:04:44,328 --> 00:04:47,669
♪ Letting go ♪
81
00:04:50,931 --> 00:04:53,747
♪ If all of the strength ♪
82
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♪ And all of the courage ♪
83
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♪ Come and lift me ♪
84
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♪ From this place ♪
85
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You should eat something.
86
00:05:02,494 --> 00:05:05,328
♪ I know I can love you... ♪
87
00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:07,031
Ms. Buckley,
88
00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:09,356
your TSH levels are borderline.
89
00:05:09,359 --> 00:05:12,194
Do you have family
history of thyroid issues?
90
00:05:12,197 --> 00:05:14,215
- Not that I'm aware of.
- Hmm.
91
00:05:14,218 --> 00:05:16,448
Although, my mom and I don't
talk about stuff like that,
92
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:19,793
or... anything really.
93
00:05:19,796 --> 00:05:23,604
Okay. Let's run some more tests.
94
00:05:23,606 --> 00:05:26,324
♪ It's better this way ♪
95
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,685
♪ I say... ♪
96
00:05:28,687 --> 00:05:30,903
Doctor's ordered another test.
97
00:05:30,906 --> 00:05:35,281
- More blood? Seriously?
- You might wish it were blood.
98
00:05:35,284 --> 00:05:37,284
You-you want me to pee in that?
99
00:05:37,286 --> 00:05:40,338
For the next 24 hours.
100
00:05:41,533 --> 00:05:44,625
♪ Hurts us all the more... ♪
101
00:05:44,627 --> 00:05:47,975
Postpartum thyroiditis?
How did I miss that?
102
00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:50,686
At first, your thyroid is overactive.
103
00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:53,559
The symptoms can feel
like typical baby blues.
104
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:56,092
Anxiety, insomnia, irritability.
105
00:05:56,095 --> 00:05:59,459
Looks like the stress of
having a newborn, but then
106
00:05:59,462 --> 00:06:02,936
it starts to slow down,
or in your case, shut down.
107
00:06:02,939 --> 00:06:06,395
So, I-I'm just... cured?
108
00:06:06,398 --> 00:06:07,748
Well, now that we have
109
00:06:07,751 --> 00:06:10,226
identified the underlying
condition, we can get you
110
00:06:10,228 --> 00:06:13,579
started on some hormone therapy.
111
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,201
Maddie, you all right?
112
00:06:15,204 --> 00:06:17,105
Yeah, I'm... relieved.
113
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Since having her,
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I didn't know what was
wrong with me, so...
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I guess now there is
an answer.
116
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Yeah.
117
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Okay.
118
00:06:31,917 --> 00:06:33,416
You're transferring me?
119
00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:35,607
You're responding well to the treatment.
120
00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:38,209
I think it's time to move
you to the outpatient program
121
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at the women's center.
122
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This is good news, Maddie.
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You get to go home.
124
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Yeah.
125
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,914
Great.
126
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,547
So now what?
127
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:58,740
- Let's take a walk.
- Okay.
128
00:06:58,743 --> 00:07:00,389
So, are you from Boston?
129
00:07:00,392 --> 00:07:02,920
Yeah, born and raised in Roxbury. You?
130
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,772
Pennsylvania. Now, California.
131
00:07:04,775 --> 00:07:07,818
What brought you here? Plenty
of good hospitals in California.
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I trained at this hospital.
133
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I used to be a nurse.
134
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,473
So, why'd you quit?
135
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,821
Just got to be too much.
136
00:07:15,824 --> 00:07:17,340
I get that.
137
00:07:17,343 --> 00:07:19,918
Some of these patients will make
you question your career path.
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Present company excluded.
139
00:07:22,091 --> 00:07:23,349
Ah, thank you.
140
00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:25,498
But I still think the
good outweighs the bad.
141
00:07:25,501 --> 00:07:29,656
Helping people, being able to
watch them heal and get better.
142
00:07:30,766 --> 00:07:33,411
I'm talking about you, by the way.
143
00:07:33,414 --> 00:07:35,639
You really think that
I'm getting better?
144
00:07:35,642 --> 00:07:38,967
I am no doctor, but
I've been where you are,
145
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:41,793
and I think you're getting stronger.
146
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,796
You're stronger than you
think you are, Maddie.
147
00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:49,256
We do a lot of short-term.
148
00:07:49,259 --> 00:07:51,636
Visiting nurses needing
a place to crash.
149
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,668
- It's not fancy, but...
- It's fine.
150
00:07:53,671 --> 00:07:54,928
- I'll take it.
- Great.
151
00:07:54,931 --> 00:07:56,866
I just need you to
fill out some paperwork.
152
00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:59,936
Uh, what if I just pay
in advance? Six months.
153
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,684
Are you part of the program
over at the hospital?
154
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,454
Yeah.
155
00:08:13,448 --> 00:08:15,615
I know he means well,
156
00:08:15,618 --> 00:08:17,740
but I'm so tired of him trying to help.
157
00:08:17,743 --> 00:08:20,662
I can't just turn that
frown upside down, Jim.
158
00:08:20,665 --> 00:08:23,747
Maybe you can bring Jim to our
next friends and family session.
159
00:08:23,750 --> 00:08:25,266
Okay.
160
00:08:25,269 --> 00:08:26,936
Well, that's it for today.
161
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:29,376
Thank you all. I'll see you on Thursday.
162
00:08:40,127 --> 00:08:42,373
So, where are they all rushing off to?
163
00:08:42,376 --> 00:08:45,694
Oh, uh, school pickup,
daycare, the usual.
164
00:08:45,697 --> 00:08:47,186
Not you?
165
00:08:47,189 --> 00:08:49,710
My daughter's with her dad.
166
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Can't see her right now.
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Me either.
168
00:08:54,716 --> 00:08:55,957
Oh, no, no.
169
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There's better coffee down the street.
170
00:08:57,634 --> 00:09:00,721
Um... Do you want to go grab some?
171
00:09:00,723 --> 00:09:03,157
If you don't have anywhere else to be.
172
00:09:06,086 --> 00:09:09,170
I have nowhere else to go.
173
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Keep going.
174
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,266
Come to Daddy.
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00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,701
That's it. You're doing it.
176
00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,847
You're doing it, Jee-Yun.
177
00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:38,000
Wait till Mommy sees
this. She's gonna be so proud.
178
00:09:38,002 --> 00:09:40,519
No, wait. Don't touch that.
179
00:09:54,109 --> 00:09:56,189
Keep going.
180
00:09:56,192 --> 00:09:57,450
Come to Daddy.
181
00:09:57,453 --> 00:09:59,963
That's it. You're doing it.
182
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:02,466
You're doing it, Jee-Yun.
183
00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:06,095
Wait till Mommy sees this.
She's gonna be so proud.
184
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:11,014
Maddie?
185
00:10:11,017 --> 00:10:13,477
Thank God. Are-are you okay?
186
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:15,796
Why is Chimney in Utah?
187
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:17,039
He left town looking for you.
188
00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:18,468
Found out what happened to Jee-Yun...
189
00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:19,970
I told you not to tell him.
190
00:10:19,973 --> 00:10:22,568
No, he-he figured it out
on his own. Wait a minute,
191
00:10:22,571 --> 00:10:24,412
h-how do you know where Chimney is?
192
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:25,972
Did... did you talk to him?
193
00:10:25,974 --> 00:10:28,901
He emailed me a video. I
guess Jee's started crawling.
194
00:10:28,903 --> 00:10:31,068
Maddie, please just
195
00:10:31,071 --> 00:10:33,889
tell me where you are.
196
00:10:33,892 --> 00:10:35,151
I can come and get you.
197
00:10:35,154 --> 00:10:37,573
I-I-I can send Chimney,
whatever you want.
198
00:10:37,576 --> 00:10:40,336
We just, we need to
know that you're safe.
199
00:10:40,339 --> 00:10:42,209
I am safe. I'm just...
200
00:10:42,212 --> 00:10:45,217
Not ready, not yet.
201
00:10:48,204 --> 00:10:51,266
Uh, I got to go, okay? Love you.
202
00:10:54,002 --> 00:10:56,076
So, you're freaking out
203
00:10:56,079 --> 00:10:58,155
over the Old North Church bell?
204
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,399
I can't see him yet. I'm not ready.
205
00:11:00,402 --> 00:11:02,311
What-what-what do you
mean, you're not ready?
206
00:11:02,314 --> 00:11:04,028
I'm not ready to go home.
207
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:07,756
I still have so much that
I have to work through.
208
00:11:07,758 --> 00:11:09,367
I'm just not ready to face all that.
209
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,851
Maddie, are...
210
00:11:10,853 --> 00:11:13,373
are you afraid of your ex? Is he...
211
00:11:13,376 --> 00:11:16,707
God, no. No, he would never...
212
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:19,295
But I do think he probably hates me.
213
00:11:19,298 --> 00:11:21,044
Why would he hate you?
214
00:11:23,699 --> 00:11:26,425
I almost killed our daughter.
215
00:11:27,481 --> 00:11:30,035
I was giving her a bath. I guess I...
216
00:11:30,038 --> 00:11:33,373
nodded off. She slipped
under the water and...
217
00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:35,059
Oh, God.
218
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:37,970
What kind of mom does that?
219
00:11:37,972 --> 00:11:40,623
Um...
220
00:11:40,625 --> 00:11:42,791
The-the week before
221
00:11:42,793 --> 00:11:46,904
I met you, I was finishing up a 28-day
222
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:50,131
court-mandated rehab program.
223
00:11:50,134 --> 00:11:51,800
I got a DUI.
224
00:11:51,802 --> 00:11:53,802
Um...
225
00:11:53,804 --> 00:11:56,563
My-my-my son
226
00:11:56,565 --> 00:11:58,441
was in the backseat.
227
00:11:58,444 --> 00:12:01,170
I-I swear, I swear I never
228
00:12:01,173 --> 00:12:03,570
meant to put him in any danger.
229
00:12:03,572 --> 00:12:05,831
I...
230
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:07,425
I was just so
231
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,427
overwhelmed and...
232
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,153
You were self-medicating.
233
00:12:11,155 --> 00:12:13,181
That doesn't make you a bad person.
234
00:12:13,184 --> 00:12:15,201
It's the only way I know how to deal
235
00:12:15,204 --> 00:12:17,306
when things get hard.
236
00:12:17,995 --> 00:12:20,996
Now, my-my ex won't let me see my son.
237
00:12:20,998 --> 00:12:23,015
I have to prove...
238
00:12:23,017 --> 00:12:26,444
that I am not a danger anymore.
239
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,688
I miss him so much.
240
00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:32,675
Maddie,
241
00:12:32,677 --> 00:12:35,511
please stay. Please.
242
00:12:35,513 --> 00:12:37,662
I...
243
00:12:37,665 --> 00:12:41,417
I think you're probably the
only friend I have right now.
244
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:44,628
No one else,
245
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:47,280
no one else knows what this is like.
246
00:12:47,282 --> 00:12:50,693
I just want to get better for her.
247
00:12:50,695 --> 00:12:52,953
I know, I know, and we...
248
00:12:52,955 --> 00:12:55,147
we can help each other. Okay?
249
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,975
- Get better together.
- Okay.
250
00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,702
Then we both go home.
251
00:12:59,704 --> 00:13:01,628
Yeah.
252
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:03,063
Okay.
253
00:13:13,431 --> 00:13:14,805
Boston?
254
00:13:14,808 --> 00:13:17,420
Yeah, Buck is convinced
he heard the bells
255
00:13:17,423 --> 00:13:20,330
of the Old North Church in
the background when she called.
256
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:22,724
The "One, if by land,
two, if by sea" church?
257
00:13:22,726 --> 00:13:24,743
As far as leads go, is that a lead?
258
00:13:24,746 --> 00:13:26,386
It's a place to start.
259
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:29,376
So, how's my apartment?
You trash the place yet?
260
00:13:29,379 --> 00:13:31,396
Uh...
261
00:13:31,399 --> 00:13:33,751
It's fine, uh, but you seriously
262
00:13:33,754 --> 00:13:35,790
need to cancel the
diaper subscription, okay?
263
00:13:35,793 --> 00:13:37,118
I'm running out of room here.
264
00:13:37,121 --> 00:13:39,627
Well, that explains where they are.
265
00:13:39,630 --> 00:13:42,464
Why do you think Maddie
went to that church?
266
00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:44,514
I don't remember her ever going to mass.
267
00:13:44,517 --> 00:13:47,006
No, but I hear there's a
pretty great pizza joint
268
00:13:47,008 --> 00:13:49,192
- around the corner.
- So, where you staying?
269
00:13:49,194 --> 00:13:50,935
♪ One night to be confused... ♪
270
00:13:50,937 --> 00:13:54,345
Room rate's a lot lower than
what you're paying at the hotel.
271
00:13:54,348 --> 00:13:56,199
You sure about this?
I mean, it feels like
272
00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:57,868
one hell of an imposition, Eli.
273
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:01,446
Nah. We don't come down here
that much this time of year.
274
00:14:01,448 --> 00:14:04,875
Once opening day rolls around,
that's a different story.
275
00:14:06,436 --> 00:14:08,196
We'll be gone by April, I promise.
276
00:14:08,199 --> 00:14:09,940
I just got to find Maddie first.
277
00:14:09,943 --> 00:14:11,868
You do your thing.
278
00:14:11,871 --> 00:14:13,145
Thanks.
279
00:14:13,148 --> 00:14:16,385
♪ To call for hands of above ♪
280
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:19,281
♪ To lean on, wouldn't be... ♪
281
00:14:19,283 --> 00:14:21,360
So, the detective still said no?
282
00:14:21,363 --> 00:14:23,788
He said
there wasn't much he could do,
283
00:14:23,791 --> 00:14:25,544
but he did take Buck's statement,
284
00:14:25,547 --> 00:14:28,717
and now he will file a
missing persons report.
285
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,625
- But that's it.
- Well, we have
286
00:14:30,627 --> 00:14:33,719
no proof that she's in Boston,
Chimney, or even anywhere
287
00:14:33,721 --> 00:14:36,631
- in the state of Massachusetts.
- Commonwealth.
288
00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:38,654
- What?
- It's the Commonwealth
289
00:14:38,657 --> 00:14:40,744
of Massachusetts. Apparently,
290
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,564
they really care about that here.
291
00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:48,584
I'm coming.
292
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:51,070
I know, I know.
293
00:14:51,072 --> 00:14:53,072
Aw...
294
00:14:56,002 --> 00:14:57,662
I know, I know.
295
00:14:57,665 --> 00:15:02,006
♪ To lean on, wouldn't
be good enough... ♪
296
00:15:02,008 --> 00:15:04,954
Yeah, I wish your mom was here, too.
297
00:15:04,957 --> 00:15:07,679
♪ To call for hands of above ♪
298
00:15:07,681 --> 00:15:10,273
♪ To lean on ♪
299
00:15:10,275 --> 00:15:13,693
♪ Wouldn't be good enough ♪
300
00:15:15,096 --> 00:15:16,688
♪ And you... ♪
301
00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:18,946
- Hey, Gail.
- Good evening, Mr. Han.
302
00:15:18,949 --> 00:15:20,450
I'd ask what brings you in here today,
303
00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:22,147
but I'm afraid you're about to tell me.
304
00:15:22,150 --> 00:15:24,621
I'm just doing the rounds.
Making sure you haven't admitted
305
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,772
a Maddie Buckley or a Maddie Kendall
306
00:15:26,775 --> 00:15:28,407
- as a patient.
- Mr. Han...
307
00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:30,781
I guess I'll hit the morgue next.
308
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:37,092
Been to the women's clinic
yet? Next building over.
309
00:15:37,095 --> 00:15:39,619
They specialize in
postpartum depression.
310
00:15:39,621 --> 00:15:41,363
Thank you.
311
00:15:41,365 --> 00:15:43,715
Good luck.
312
00:15:43,717 --> 00:15:45,478
♪ Of above ♪
313
00:15:45,481 --> 00:15:47,459
♪ To lean on ♪
314
00:15:47,462 --> 00:15:51,039
♪ Wouldn't be good enough ♪
315
00:15:51,041 --> 00:15:52,540
♪ To lean on ♪
316
00:15:52,542 --> 00:15:54,225
♪ To call for hands ♪
317
00:15:54,227 --> 00:15:56,211
♪ Of above ♪
318
00:15:56,213 --> 00:15:58,229
♪ To lean on ♪
319
00:15:58,231 --> 00:16:01,700
♪ Wouldn't be good enough. ♪
320
00:16:05,813 --> 00:16:07,238
There you go, Jee-Jee.
321
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,224
It's your favorite.
322
00:16:09,226 --> 00:16:10,909
Come on, honey.
323
00:16:10,911 --> 00:16:12,249
Come on.
324
00:16:12,252 --> 00:16:14,108
It's your favorite. It's vanilla bean...
325
00:16:14,111 --> 00:16:15,645
You know, this seems
like the part of the movie
326
00:16:15,647 --> 00:16:17,054
where the detective becomes
327
00:16:17,057 --> 00:16:18,530
a little too obsessed with the case,
328
00:16:18,533 --> 00:16:20,825
and his boss has to send him home.
329
00:16:20,828 --> 00:16:23,588
First off, you're not my boss.
330
00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:25,691
And, second, if we're
overstaying our welcome
331
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,184
- with you and Molly...
- No.
332
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:30,179
I don't care if you stay in
the basement forever. Okay?
333
00:16:30,182 --> 00:16:32,718
Though, I may have to
start charging you rent.
334
00:16:34,148 --> 00:16:36,175
But I don't think
this is healthy, Howie.
335
00:16:36,177 --> 00:16:38,361
I know it sounds crazy,
336
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:39,945
but I just got this feeling that,
337
00:16:39,948 --> 00:16:41,382
one day, she's gonna walk out
338
00:16:41,385 --> 00:16:43,348
of that building,
339
00:16:43,351 --> 00:16:45,368
and I want to be here when she does,
340
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:46,811
even if it's not today.
341
00:16:46,814 --> 00:16:48,128
Come on, baby.
342
00:16:48,131 --> 00:16:49,926
You know that's not how it works, right?
343
00:16:49,929 --> 00:16:52,525
- What?
- The universe.
344
00:16:52,527 --> 00:16:54,694
You've been sitting here
for months trying to manifest
345
00:16:54,696 --> 00:16:57,605
Maddie walking out
of those doors, but...
346
00:16:57,607 --> 00:17:00,217
you know, have you
considered maybe there's a...
347
00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:02,254
a cosmic tab you got to pay first?
348
00:17:02,257 --> 00:17:03,911
I'm gonna go with "no"
'cause I have no idea
349
00:17:03,913 --> 00:17:05,630
what the hell you're talking about.
350
00:17:05,632 --> 00:17:09,208
Look, you need to stop being
so obsessed with what you want.
351
00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:10,831
Okay, you need to get off the bench
352
00:17:10,834 --> 00:17:12,988
and get back into the
world. It needs you.
353
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,065
To do what?
354
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,484
To be of service.
355
00:17:18,795 --> 00:17:21,404
Maybe the universe
will return the favor.
356
00:17:21,406 --> 00:17:24,324
Or give up and go home.
357
00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:28,828
- Come on.
- All right.
358
00:17:41,668 --> 00:17:44,152
♪ And it's no ♪
359
00:17:44,154 --> 00:17:46,746
♪ Nay, never ♪
360
00:17:46,748 --> 00:17:49,432
♪ No, nay, never no more... ♪
361
00:17:49,434 --> 00:17:52,677
Let us bow our heads. As we gather
362
00:17:52,679 --> 00:17:54,679
this morning to honor St. Patrick,
363
00:17:54,681 --> 00:17:57,089
let us give thanks for this glorious day
364
00:17:57,091 --> 00:17:58,629
and the chance to come together
365
00:17:58,632 --> 00:18:00,318
as Faith of Men.
366
00:18:01,611 --> 00:18:05,113
I'm not feeling so good.
Ever since rehearsal
367
00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:08,768
this morning, i-it's like I'm...
I'm having trouble breathing.
368
00:18:08,770 --> 00:18:11,652
Well, what do you want
me to do? Just rally.
369
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,848
We still got the parade.
370
00:18:13,850 --> 00:18:15,660
Thank you, Lord, for this time together,
371
00:18:15,663 --> 00:18:17,168
and for continuing to guide us
372
00:18:17,171 --> 00:18:20,176
and inspire us as we
carry out your good work.
373
00:18:20,179 --> 00:18:22,299
- ...swelled up just like a melon.
- Shut up!
374
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,634
Nobody wants to hear
about your glory days.
375
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:27,045
Stuff it, O'Malley. Ain't
nobody talking to you.
376
00:18:27,047 --> 00:18:28,969
Go to hell, jackass.
377
00:18:28,972 --> 00:18:31,067
Gentlemen, please. This is not
378
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:33,062
how Faith of Men are supposed to behave.
379
00:18:36,130 --> 00:18:37,722
Start playing.
380
00:18:37,724 --> 00:18:41,042
Maybe the music will
calm these idiots down.
381
00:18:50,887 --> 00:18:52,325
Oh, God. Murray!
382
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,220
_
383
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,912
_
384
00:19:01,915 --> 00:19:03,731
All right,
let's make a hole, guys.
385
00:19:03,733 --> 00:19:05,491
I'm confused. Why are they serving beer
386
00:19:05,493 --> 00:19:07,645
- at a prayer breakfast?
- Eggs and kegs.
387
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,525
- St. Patrick's Day tradition.
- If you say so.
388
00:19:10,528 --> 00:19:11,860
What happened here?
389
00:19:11,863 --> 00:19:13,755
Uh, he went down while we were playing.
390
00:19:13,758 --> 00:19:15,592
Before that, he said he was
having trouble breathing.
391
00:19:15,594 --> 00:19:17,397
Randall, let's get him on some oxygen.
392
00:19:22,149 --> 00:19:26,059
BP is extremely elevated, 160/95.
393
00:19:26,062 --> 00:19:28,531
Heart rate is rapid and irregular.
394
00:19:29,759 --> 00:19:32,760
Legs and ankles also
appear to be swollen.
395
00:19:32,762 --> 00:19:35,446
Oh. Pitting edema.
396
00:19:35,448 --> 00:19:37,281
Could be possible
right-sided heart failure.
397
00:19:37,283 --> 00:19:38,541
Does your friend have a history
398
00:19:38,543 --> 00:19:40,317
- of heart trouble?
- No, not that I know of.
399
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,527
- What about diabetes?
- No.
400
00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:42,787
He's not the healthiest guy, but I never
401
00:19:42,789 --> 00:19:44,622
heard him mention
anything about diabetes.
402
00:19:44,625 --> 00:19:46,186
Um, he has had a cough for a while.
403
00:19:46,189 --> 00:19:47,831
Cough.
404
00:19:52,039 --> 00:19:53,556
Getting a crackling sound.
405
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:55,725
Sounds like serious lung
damage. Is he a smoker?
406
00:19:55,727 --> 00:19:57,301
Not Murray. He never touched them.
407
00:19:57,303 --> 00:19:58,561
Maybe pulmonary fibrosis,
408
00:19:58,563 --> 00:20:00,343
but what would cause him to go down now?
409
00:20:00,346 --> 00:20:01,512
Are you for real asking me?
410
00:20:01,515 --> 00:20:02,882
Because our volunteer training
411
00:20:02,885 --> 00:20:04,051
didn't go that in depth.
412
00:20:04,054 --> 00:20:05,568
You're like, smart.
413
00:20:05,570 --> 00:20:08,163
You're volunteers? I
called the paramedics.
414
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,684
And we arrived first 'cause
our tent is across the street.
415
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:12,575
- Medical Volunteer Corps.
- Okay.
416
00:20:12,577 --> 00:20:14,744
Looks like he's coming around.
417
00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:16,471
Welcome back, Murray. Let's figure out
418
00:20:16,474 --> 00:20:17,872
what's going on with your lungs.
419
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:20,250
- Bagpipe lung.
- That can't be a real thing.
420
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,326
Hypersensitivity pneumonitis,
421
00:20:22,328 --> 00:20:24,421
if you're looking for the medical term.
422
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,482
Happens to people who
play wind instruments,
423
00:20:26,485 --> 00:20:28,148
and also bagpipes.
424
00:20:29,577 --> 00:20:32,503
W-What are you doing? You're
gonna ruin his bagpipes.
425
00:20:32,505 --> 00:20:34,762
Yeah. Pretty sure
they're already ruined.
426
00:20:34,765 --> 00:20:37,739
I'm gonna need a biohazard
bag. These are full of mold.
427
00:20:37,742 --> 00:20:39,731
You've been inhaling this
for God knows how long.
428
00:20:39,734 --> 00:20:41,070
It's wreaked havoc on your lungs.
429
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,016
When was the last time
you cleaned those things?
430
00:20:43,019 --> 00:20:44,518
Never.
431
00:20:44,521 --> 00:20:46,003
That'll do it.
432
00:20:46,006 --> 00:20:48,098
You're lucky. If you kept going,
433
00:20:48,101 --> 00:20:49,598
these bagpipes would've killed you.
434
00:20:49,601 --> 00:20:52,176
They're gonna do X-rays and bloodwork
435
00:20:52,179 --> 00:20:55,208
at the hospital, probably put you on
436
00:20:55,211 --> 00:20:57,770
corticosteroids to reverse the damage.
437
00:21:03,609 --> 00:21:04,842
Bagpipe lung.
438
00:21:04,845 --> 00:21:06,437
First time I've seen that.
439
00:21:06,439 --> 00:21:07,771
Buckle up, my friend.
440
00:21:07,773 --> 00:21:09,699
You're about to have
a lot of firsts today.
441
00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:11,775
What do you mean you're a volunteer?
442
00:21:11,777 --> 00:21:14,111
Boston Medical Volunteer Corps.
443
00:21:14,113 --> 00:21:15,930
It's mostly handing out Band-Aids and
444
00:21:15,932 --> 00:21:17,781
bottles of water to drunk people.
445
00:21:17,784 --> 00:21:19,376
There have been a few doozies, though.
446
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,950
You ever hear of bagpipe lung?
447
00:21:20,953 --> 00:21:23,104
Well, it sounds like
you're really settling in
448
00:21:23,106 --> 00:21:24,363
to life in Boston.
449
00:21:24,365 --> 00:21:26,419
Honestly, I really
signed up to keep busy.
450
00:21:26,422 --> 00:21:28,450
Just wish it really kept me paid, too.
451
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:30,961
My savings account balance
is getting pretty low.
452
00:21:30,963 --> 00:21:34,765
Well, you still have a full-time
job waiting for you here.
453
00:21:34,768 --> 00:21:36,041
Chim?
454
00:21:36,043 --> 00:21:38,302
People are starting to ask questions.
455
00:21:38,304 --> 00:21:40,229
My answer is still the same, Bobby.
456
00:21:40,231 --> 00:21:42,467
I'm not coming home without Maddie.
457
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,233
All right, I got to go.
458
00:21:49,523 --> 00:21:51,314
When I came here, I didn't
459
00:21:51,317 --> 00:21:53,317
know what to expect.
460
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,598
I felt so many
461
00:21:54,601 --> 00:21:55,894
terrible things about myself,
462
00:21:55,896 --> 00:21:58,422
I thought everyone else would, too.
463
00:21:58,425 --> 00:21:59,749
Then, when I got here,
464
00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:03,327
um, I realized I wasn't crazy or...
465
00:22:03,329 --> 00:22:05,212
alone.
466
00:22:06,231 --> 00:22:08,156
You guys healed me.
467
00:22:08,159 --> 00:22:09,925
You made me feel stronger,
468
00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:12,077
and I finally feel like
I'm ready to go home.
469
00:22:12,079 --> 00:22:15,322
So, I just wanted to say
thank you to all of you.
470
00:22:15,324 --> 00:22:17,892
I'm very grateful.
Es-Especially you, Kira.
471
00:22:19,586 --> 00:22:22,438
Oh, special shout-out.
472
00:22:24,167 --> 00:22:25,942
Lucky me.
473
00:22:25,944 --> 00:22:28,972
You were there when I needed a friend.
474
00:22:28,975 --> 00:22:30,583
I couldn't have done this without you.
475
00:22:30,586 --> 00:22:32,856
Hmm. Okay, let's all,
476
00:22:32,858 --> 00:22:36,193
let's all give her a round of applause.
477
00:22:36,196 --> 00:22:39,665
I'm so glad that you are fixed.
478
00:22:39,668 --> 00:22:42,107
I don't think that's
what Maddie's saying, Kira.
479
00:22:42,109 --> 00:22:44,535
None of us have it
figured out. If we did,
480
00:22:44,537 --> 00:22:46,778
- we wouldn't be here.
- Whatever.
481
00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:50,466
I am so happy for you.
482
00:22:50,468 --> 00:22:52,015
Okay? But, too bad
483
00:22:52,018 --> 00:22:55,012
for the rest of us who
still have problems.
484
00:22:56,123 --> 00:22:57,723
That's it, everyone.
485
00:22:57,726 --> 00:23:00,217
Have a great afternoon.
I'll see you next time.
486
00:23:08,897 --> 00:23:10,561
Hey, Kira, wait a second. What was that?
487
00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:12,880
I'm really not in the mood
488
00:23:12,882 --> 00:23:14,565
- for a lecture.
- Okay, that's fine.
489
00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:15,807
I just wanted to check on you
490
00:23:15,809 --> 00:23:16,826
'cause you don't seem like yourself.
491
00:23:16,828 --> 00:23:18,828
Mm. Maybe it's the depression.
492
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:21,163
Maybe it's the whiskey.
493
00:23:21,165 --> 00:23:22,380
You're drunk.
494
00:23:22,383 --> 00:23:24,816
What do you care?
495
00:23:24,818 --> 00:23:26,318
You're leaving.
496
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,913
My only support system's just
hightailing it out of here.
497
00:23:31,234 --> 00:23:34,844
I came here to get well
and to go home to my family.
498
00:23:34,846 --> 00:23:37,404
That was the plan, for both of us.
499
00:23:39,183 --> 00:23:43,001
I've messed up too badly.
500
00:23:43,003 --> 00:23:45,079
I don't deserve to be a mom.
501
00:23:45,081 --> 00:23:47,839
Okay, you know what? I told
myself exactly that same thing
502
00:23:47,841 --> 00:23:50,768
six months ago, and I was wrong.
503
00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:52,361
I got better.
504
00:23:52,363 --> 00:23:53,678
You can, too.
505
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,107
Not by this afternoon.
506
00:23:57,109 --> 00:23:58,275
Ugh.
507
00:23:58,277 --> 00:24:00,500
I have a supervised visitation.
508
00:24:00,503 --> 00:24:02,095
No, no, no. You can't, you can't
509
00:24:02,098 --> 00:24:04,271
- show up like this.
- I can't not show up.
510
00:24:04,274 --> 00:24:05,833
Okay, what time is the appointment?
511
00:24:05,836 --> 00:24:08,294
Um... 3:00.
512
00:24:09,789 --> 00:24:12,131
Come on, I have an idea.
513
00:24:15,719 --> 00:24:17,960
What are you doing? No, no, no, no.
514
00:24:17,963 --> 00:24:20,798
I-I-I cannot be admitted.
No. If my ex finds out,
515
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,616
I won't be able to see
my son. I'm sorry...
516
00:24:22,618 --> 00:24:23,727
Okay, I'm not admitting you.
517
00:24:23,729 --> 00:24:25,138
I'm not admitting you. I'm helping you.
518
00:24:25,140 --> 00:24:27,045
Sit right here.
519
00:24:27,047 --> 00:24:29,582
I'm gonna get you a banana
bag. It'll sober you up.
520
00:24:29,584 --> 00:24:31,141
I'll be right back.
521
00:24:31,143 --> 00:24:33,152
Maddie?
522
00:24:34,273 --> 00:24:37,239
Why is your face on the bulletin board?
523
00:24:46,250 --> 00:24:47,958
What?
524
00:24:50,404 --> 00:24:52,070
That's you.
525
00:24:52,072 --> 00:24:54,590
Oh, my God, he's still looking for me.
526
00:24:54,592 --> 00:24:57,093
I thought you said he hated you.
527
00:24:58,883 --> 00:25:00,608
You lied.
528
00:25:01,582 --> 00:25:03,991
- I didn't lie.
- All this time,
529
00:25:03,993 --> 00:25:06,826
I thought that we were in the same boat.
530
00:25:06,829 --> 00:25:08,872
Being punished by our exes.
531
00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:11,348
Not being able to-to see our kids.
532
00:25:11,350 --> 00:25:14,852
But you could've gone
back any time, right?
533
00:25:14,854 --> 00:25:18,672
I'm fighting like hell to see my son,
534
00:25:18,674 --> 00:25:19,949
and you left them.
535
00:25:19,951 --> 00:25:21,358
I had to.
536
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:24,309
Okay? It was dangerous for
her and for me, and I...
537
00:25:24,312 --> 00:25:27,439
I needed to get help and to get better.
538
00:25:27,441 --> 00:25:31,352
Congratulations, Maddie.
539
00:25:31,354 --> 00:25:33,045
You're better.
540
00:25:38,694 --> 00:25:40,970
You don't need me anymore.
541
00:25:42,621 --> 00:25:44,696
Kira!
542
00:25:44,699 --> 00:25:47,458
Excuse me. Sorry.
543
00:25:47,461 --> 00:25:48,769
Sorry.
544
00:26:28,334 --> 00:26:32,688
Snake bite. Looks like
localized tissue damage.
545
00:26:32,690 --> 00:26:35,339
Let's immobilize his hand and
elevate it above his heart.
546
00:26:35,341 --> 00:26:37,031
Don't want it to swell more than it is.
547
00:26:37,034 --> 00:26:38,843
Oh, no.
548
00:26:38,845 --> 00:26:41,179
The venom's making my heart swell.
549
00:26:41,182 --> 00:26:42,711
Oh, I'm gonna die.
550
00:26:42,714 --> 00:26:45,461
No, I meant your hand,
and statistically speaking,
551
00:26:45,464 --> 00:26:47,093
people don't die from snake bites.
552
00:26:47,095 --> 00:26:48,015
Stupidity,
553
00:26:48,018 --> 00:26:49,657
- that's another story.
- So, that's it?
554
00:26:49,659 --> 00:26:51,384
What about a tourniquet? Or maybe
555
00:26:51,387 --> 00:26:52,922
we can cut it and suck out the poison?
556
00:26:52,925 --> 00:26:55,148
That is exactly what
you're not supposed to do.
557
00:26:55,151 --> 00:26:56,909
- Antivenom is his best bet.
- Oh, it stings!
558
00:26:56,911 --> 00:26:59,164
And I don't know about you,
but I'm not packing any.
559
00:26:59,167 --> 00:27:00,363
That's not a bad idea.
560
00:27:00,366 --> 00:27:01,624
We should ask for that.
561
00:27:01,627 --> 00:27:03,227
Every year, there's always some asshat
562
00:27:03,230 --> 00:27:05,714
dressed as St. Patrick
pretending to drive the snakes
563
00:27:05,717 --> 00:27:06,898
out of Ireland.
564
00:27:06,901 --> 00:27:09,724
And I thought Cinco de Mayo
in Los Angeles was crazy.
565
00:27:13,288 --> 00:27:15,265
Hey. Kira, it's Maddie.
566
00:27:15,268 --> 00:27:16,789
Um, just, please,
567
00:27:16,792 --> 00:27:18,383
call me, okay? I...
568
00:27:18,386 --> 00:27:20,466
Just want to make sure you're all right.
569
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,546
- Thank you.
- Sir, I'm looking for a woman.
570
00:27:24,549 --> 00:27:25,929
She's late 30s. Blonde.
571
00:27:25,932 --> 00:27:27,614
About this tall and probably drunk.
572
00:27:27,617 --> 00:27:28,893
Oh, a drunk woman.
573
00:27:28,895 --> 00:27:30,094
That narrows it down.
574
00:27:30,097 --> 00:27:32,531
You know it's St. Patrick's Day, right?
575
00:27:34,417 --> 00:27:36,584
Lean forward a bit for me. There you go.
576
00:27:36,587 --> 00:27:38,427
- If you could hold that, please.
- Nothing's broken.
577
00:27:38,429 --> 00:27:40,330
Looks like he's all yours.
578
00:27:40,332 --> 00:27:42,165
Thanks. Let's go.
579
00:27:42,167 --> 00:27:45,239
So this guy tried to
rob a bank with a stick?
580
00:27:45,242 --> 00:27:48,211
Uh, technically it's a shillelagh.
581
00:27:48,214 --> 00:27:50,781
- And a rubber one at that.
- What were you thinking?
582
00:27:50,784 --> 00:27:53,326
She stole me pot o' gold.
583
00:27:53,328 --> 00:27:56,830
You know you're not
actually a leprechaun, right?
584
00:27:57,941 --> 00:27:59,590
Hey, Kira, call me.
585
00:27:59,592 --> 00:28:01,276
I'm really worried about you.
586
00:28:01,278 --> 00:28:03,837
Hey, I'm gonna go grab a
lobster roll from the food truck.
587
00:28:03,839 --> 00:28:05,195
- You want anything?
- Sure.
588
00:28:05,198 --> 00:28:06,764
Just make sure there's no mayo on it.
589
00:28:06,766 --> 00:28:09,695
I sense you have no idea
what a lobster roll is.
590
00:28:09,698 --> 00:28:11,268
Just grab him one anyway.
591
00:28:11,271 --> 00:28:13,271
Three lobster rolls coming up.
592
00:28:13,273 --> 00:28:16,792
So how is it? Being of service again.
593
00:28:16,794 --> 00:28:20,962
Honestly, it's the best
I've felt in probably a year.
594
00:28:25,668 --> 00:28:28,502
Get in the car.
595
00:28:29,714 --> 00:28:31,698
Hey, watch it.
596
00:28:31,700 --> 00:28:33,550
Come on.
597
00:28:33,552 --> 00:28:35,734
Whoa. Is he all right?
598
00:28:35,737 --> 00:28:37,979
Look at this.
599
00:28:37,982 --> 00:28:39,907
Is that an axe?
600
00:28:39,910 --> 00:28:41,670
You gotta see this.
601
00:28:42,493 --> 00:28:44,713
Gabe. Gabe!
602
00:28:44,716 --> 00:28:46,642
Oh, my God, Gabe!
603
00:28:46,645 --> 00:28:48,144
You did this?
604
00:28:48,147 --> 00:28:49,974
We were axe throwing, and
he stumbled in front of me,
605
00:28:49,976 --> 00:28:52,187
and I-I hit him instead of the target.
606
00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:53,720
No pulse. He's not breathing.
607
00:28:53,722 --> 00:28:55,208
I'd say start compressions, but...
608
00:28:55,211 --> 00:28:57,332
There's an axe in his head?
609
00:28:57,334 --> 00:28:59,501
Randall, that sandwich
board, bring it over here!
610
00:28:59,503 --> 00:29:01,411
Okay. Okay, let's get
him into a seated position.
611
00:29:01,413 --> 00:29:03,296
I got his head.
612
00:29:05,351 --> 00:29:07,417
- What do I do?
- Randall, put the board behind him.
613
00:29:07,419 --> 00:29:09,160
Eli will hold him up
while I do compressions.
614
00:29:09,162 --> 00:29:10,992
- What do I do?
- Okay, hold his head,
615
00:29:10,995 --> 00:29:11,919
keep his airway clear.
616
00:29:11,922 --> 00:29:12,996
I can do that without
617
00:29:12,999 --> 00:29:14,908
looking at his head, right?
618
00:29:14,911 --> 00:29:16,309
Howie, on your count.
619
00:29:20,248 --> 00:29:22,749
Feels like old times, doesn't it?
620
00:29:22,751 --> 00:29:25,085
Well, nobody's puked on me yet.
621
00:29:26,182 --> 00:29:29,608
- Oh, God.
- That is not an invitation, Randall.
622
00:29:29,611 --> 00:29:31,687
Pulse check.
623
00:29:31,690 --> 00:29:33,234
Pulse is back. We got him.
624
00:29:33,237 --> 00:29:35,000
Dispatch, this is Paramedic Cobb.
625
00:29:35,003 --> 00:29:38,226
About to transport a young
male with an axe in his head
626
00:29:38,229 --> 00:29:40,121
to Mercy Shore Hospital.
627
00:29:40,124 --> 00:29:41,709
Okay, let's secure it and move him.
628
00:29:41,712 --> 00:29:42,750
What can I do?
629
00:29:42,753 --> 00:29:44,212
You can take up chess.
630
00:29:44,214 --> 00:29:47,031
- Oh!
- Sorry.
631
00:29:47,033 --> 00:29:49,200
I hate this day.
632
00:29:52,130 --> 00:29:53,609
- Ah, Kira?
- No.
633
00:29:53,612 --> 00:29:55,779
This is the bartender
down at Father Sean's Pub.
634
00:29:55,782 --> 00:29:59,320
- I think your friend needs some help.
- Okay.
635
00:30:05,384 --> 00:30:09,386
Hey. Our axe man's heading into surgery.
636
00:30:09,389 --> 00:30:12,465
Okay, great. Oh, my shift's over.
637
00:30:12,467 --> 00:30:15,372
I should get back, maybe,
and turn in this vest.
638
00:30:15,375 --> 00:30:17,867
- Oh, ride in the rig with me. I'll drop you off.
- You sure?
639
00:30:17,870 --> 00:30:19,246
What if another call comes in?
640
00:30:19,249 --> 00:30:21,399
I'll let you use the lights and sirens.
641
00:30:25,756 --> 00:30:27,656
Oh, God, she's puking.
642
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,314
No. No, she's aspirating.
643
00:30:29,317 --> 00:30:30,926
Come on, we've got to
get her on her side.
644
00:30:30,928 --> 00:30:32,335
Kira?! Call 911.
645
00:30:32,338 --> 00:30:35,079
All right.
646
00:30:36,628 --> 00:30:38,749
- 911.
- Yes, I'm calling from Father Sean's Pub.
647
00:30:38,751 --> 00:30:40,602
Kira, come on. Come
on, come on, come on.
648
00:30:40,604 --> 00:30:41,995
We have a young
woman here who needs help.
649
00:30:41,997 --> 00:30:43,805
- We think she might be aspirating.
- Wake up.
650
00:30:43,807 --> 00:30:46,387
Good. Good! There's a
unit just down the block.
651
00:30:46,390 --> 00:30:48,184
- Good. Wave 'em down.
- Okay.
652
00:30:48,186 --> 00:30:49,889
Kira, come on, wake
up, wake up, wake up.
653
00:30:49,892 --> 00:30:51,334
- Come on, Kira, wake up!
- Over here!
654
00:30:51,336 --> 00:30:52,948
- Come on.
- Hey!
655
00:30:52,950 --> 00:30:54,507
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on.
- Kira, wake up.
656
00:30:54,509 --> 00:30:56,067
Over here.
657
00:30:56,069 --> 00:30:57,450
She's here. Come on!
658
00:30:57,453 --> 00:30:58,787
Oh, my God, hurry.
659
00:30:58,789 --> 00:31:01,122
Over here. Over
here. She's right here.
660
00:31:01,124 --> 00:31:03,199
- Come on. She's right here.
- Excuse me. Excuse me. What do we got?
661
00:31:03,201 --> 00:31:05,443
She's 38 years old. Alcohol poisoning.
662
00:31:05,445 --> 00:31:07,653
She's aspirated vomit.
She's unresponsive.
663
00:31:07,656 --> 00:31:09,689
- How long has she been out?
- I don't know.
664
00:31:09,691 --> 00:31:11,466
I did a sternal rub
but she's not coming to.
665
00:31:11,468 --> 00:31:14,184
- Is she on anything?
- Prescriptions for antidepressants.
666
00:31:14,187 --> 00:31:17,455
- Any other drugs? Illegal substances?
- I don't know.
667
00:31:17,457 --> 00:31:20,929
Pardon me. Make
a hole! Coming through.
668
00:31:24,797 --> 00:31:26,481
Maddie?
669
00:31:28,430 --> 00:31:29,758
Howie.
670
00:31:38,661 --> 00:31:40,995
We have acute alcohol intoxication,
671
00:31:40,998 --> 00:31:43,008
heart rate severely low.
672
00:31:43,011 --> 00:31:45,649
BP 80/60 and she's cold to the touch.
673
00:31:45,651 --> 00:31:48,691
- Let's start suction and get her on a gurney.
- Copy that.
674
00:31:51,575 --> 00:31:52,924
You okay?
675
00:31:52,927 --> 00:31:55,669
Y-Yeah. Is Jee with you?
676
00:31:55,672 --> 00:31:57,237
She's fine.
677
00:31:57,239 --> 00:31:58,421
She's staying with a friend
678
00:31:58,423 --> 00:32:00,348
while I play paramedic again.
679
00:32:00,350 --> 00:32:02,684
All right, suction's ready.
680
00:32:10,031 --> 00:32:12,865
38-year-old female with
acute alcohol poisoning,
681
00:32:12,868 --> 00:32:15,489
unresponsive on the scene
after aspirating vomit.
682
00:32:15,492 --> 00:32:18,106
Administered fluid and
bolused one liter of LR.
683
00:32:18,109 --> 00:32:20,336
Used mechanical suction to clear airway.
684
00:32:20,339 --> 00:32:22,564
Vitals are stable.
685
00:32:24,021 --> 00:32:26,188
I think she'll be okay.
686
00:32:26,191 --> 00:32:28,508
It's a good thing you found her in time.
687
00:32:28,511 --> 00:32:31,562
I'm, uh, I'm Eli, by the way.
688
00:32:31,565 --> 00:32:33,381
We were never formally introduced.
689
00:32:33,383 --> 00:32:36,281
- Maddie. I've heard a lot about you.
- Same.
690
00:32:36,284 --> 00:32:37,467
You and that little girl are about
691
00:32:37,469 --> 00:32:39,970
all he talks about these days.
692
00:32:39,973 --> 00:32:41,570
Where is he?
693
00:32:41,573 --> 00:32:43,695
Uh, probably outside.
694
00:32:43,698 --> 00:32:45,392
I think he needed a minute.
695
00:32:45,395 --> 00:32:47,770
Me, too.
696
00:32:48,612 --> 00:32:52,048
How is he... really?
697
00:32:52,051 --> 00:32:53,809
I mean, I know that I
could ask him myself.
698
00:32:53,811 --> 00:32:56,148
But he'd probably sugarcoat it for you?
699
00:32:56,151 --> 00:32:58,141
When he showed up, he was a mess.
700
00:32:58,144 --> 00:32:59,660
He was worried about you.
701
00:32:59,663 --> 00:33:03,340
He was worried about Jee-Yun,
and he was racked with guilt.
702
00:33:04,635 --> 00:33:06,635
Guilt? I'm the one that left.
703
00:33:06,638 --> 00:33:09,790
Yeah, but he's the one
that feels responsible.
704
00:33:12,431 --> 00:33:15,265
Eli said you would be here.
705
00:33:15,268 --> 00:33:18,102
He was right.
706
00:33:18,105 --> 00:33:19,539
He usually is.
707
00:33:19,542 --> 00:33:22,952
It's one of his more annoying traits.
708
00:33:22,955 --> 00:33:26,607
But actually, this time he was wrong.
709
00:33:26,610 --> 00:33:29,265
You see, all those days
that I spent sitting
710
00:33:29,268 --> 00:33:31,012
right here on this bench convinced
711
00:33:31,015 --> 00:33:32,797
you would walk out those doors,
712
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,469
he said I was crazy.
713
00:33:34,472 --> 00:33:36,639
And here you are.
714
00:33:36,642 --> 00:33:39,336
I know that you must
have a lot of questions.
715
00:33:39,339 --> 00:33:41,097
I know why you left, Maddie.
716
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:43,156
Still not sure why you stayed away.
717
00:33:43,159 --> 00:33:45,026
Because I didn't think
I'd ever get better.
718
00:33:45,029 --> 00:33:47,863
And it didn't feel safe
to be around any of you.
719
00:33:47,865 --> 00:33:50,265
What happened with
Jee-Yun and the bathtub,
720
00:33:50,268 --> 00:33:51,297
that was an accident.
721
00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:53,734
But trying to kill myself wasn't.
722
00:33:57,352 --> 00:33:59,560
You what?
723
00:34:00,620 --> 00:34:02,845
When I dropped her off
at the firehouse I thought
724
00:34:02,848 --> 00:34:06,208
that's it, she's safe.
725
00:34:08,935 --> 00:34:13,864
So I drove up the
coast, I found a beach,
726
00:34:13,867 --> 00:34:16,451
and I walked into the ocean.
727
00:34:19,005 --> 00:34:21,022
My head was so full of all the mistakes
728
00:34:21,025 --> 00:34:22,897
I had made in my life,
and I just thought
729
00:34:22,900 --> 00:34:25,284
everybody would be
better off without me.
730
00:34:26,116 --> 00:34:28,967
Sad at first, yeah.
731
00:34:28,970 --> 00:34:31,637
But that would fade.
732
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,834
And Jee, she's so
young, she wouldn't even
733
00:34:33,836 --> 00:34:35,911
remember me as her mommy.
734
00:34:35,913 --> 00:34:38,255
How could you even think that?
735
00:34:42,023 --> 00:34:43,856
Maddie, if you died, I would never...
736
00:34:43,859 --> 00:34:45,592
Never forgive yourself.
737
00:34:49,374 --> 00:34:52,066
I got out of the ocean for you.
738
00:34:53,438 --> 00:34:55,420
For both of you.
739
00:34:56,842 --> 00:35:02,238
But I had to stay here
to learn to stop running.
740
00:35:03,297 --> 00:35:04,738
Maddie...
741
00:35:05,995 --> 00:35:08,328
I would have done anything to help you.
742
00:35:08,331 --> 00:35:12,280
I beat myself up every
day that I didn't do more.
743
00:35:12,283 --> 00:35:16,367
I'm so sorry for everything
that I put you through.
744
00:35:17,581 --> 00:35:20,248
I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you.
745
00:35:20,251 --> 00:35:23,511
- You were there.
- Not enough.
746
00:35:23,514 --> 00:35:26,441
I blame myself for you leaving,
747
00:35:26,444 --> 00:35:28,819
for missing the warning signs.
748
00:35:30,856 --> 00:35:33,115
Or maybe ignoring them.
749
00:35:34,897 --> 00:35:38,149
I just wanted so badly for
you to be okay, I just...
750
00:35:39,810 --> 00:35:42,886
I pretended that you were okay.
751
00:35:42,888 --> 00:35:46,073
I think I did, too, for a while.
752
00:35:55,901 --> 00:35:57,937
I guess we both spent too much time
753
00:35:57,940 --> 00:36:01,026
hiding from the truth, and I
don't want to do that anymore.
754
00:36:01,029 --> 00:36:03,880
Me either.
755
00:36:03,883 --> 00:36:05,783
No more pretending.
756
00:36:07,913 --> 00:36:11,469
From now on, let's just be
honest about how we feel,
757
00:36:11,472 --> 00:36:13,592
and what we want.
758
00:36:14,953 --> 00:36:16,520
Okay.
759
00:36:19,137 --> 00:36:20,738
What do you want?
760
00:36:23,601 --> 00:36:26,360
She should be awake from her nap soon.
761
00:36:27,290 --> 00:36:30,041
There she is.
762
00:36:30,044 --> 00:36:33,429
Look who's here, Jee-Yun. It's Mommy.
763
00:36:36,715 --> 00:36:38,533
She's so big.
764
00:36:38,536 --> 00:36:41,554
I swear to God, I've been
feeding her normal portions.
765
00:36:42,408 --> 00:36:44,183
You probably want to hold her.
766
00:36:44,186 --> 00:36:46,540
Uh, she never liked strangers.
767
00:36:46,543 --> 00:36:48,450
Maddie, you're not a stranger.
768
00:36:48,453 --> 00:36:51,344
I think I am.
769
00:36:51,347 --> 00:36:52,913
Maddie...
770
00:36:55,702 --> 00:36:59,461
She's grown up so much. I missed it.
771
00:36:59,464 --> 00:37:01,390
I missed all of it.
772
00:37:15,665 --> 00:37:18,332
So you figure out what's next?
773
00:37:18,334 --> 00:37:19,983
I mean, back to L.A.,
774
00:37:19,985 --> 00:37:22,394
or should I be getting
you a job application?
775
00:37:22,396 --> 00:37:23,912
I don't know.
776
00:37:23,914 --> 00:37:26,006
It didn't feel right
asking her about the future
777
00:37:26,008 --> 00:37:28,044
when she was so clearly
mourning the past.
778
00:37:28,047 --> 00:37:30,903
Not the glorious reunion
you'd been dreaming of, huh?
779
00:37:30,905 --> 00:37:33,013
I never really thought that far.
780
00:37:33,015 --> 00:37:36,367
I mean, I imagined finding
her a million times, you know?
781
00:37:36,370 --> 00:37:39,612
I'd see her, she'd see me.
782
00:37:39,615 --> 00:37:42,282
Movie always ended right there.
783
00:37:42,285 --> 00:37:43,765
They live happily ever after.
784
00:37:43,767 --> 00:37:46,176
Yeah.
785
00:37:46,178 --> 00:37:48,345
Kind of wishing the end credit sequence
786
00:37:48,347 --> 00:37:49,947
was less of a bummer.
787
00:37:53,234 --> 00:37:56,084
You know, I was really mad at her
788
00:37:56,087 --> 00:37:58,196
for not being there.
789
00:37:58,199 --> 00:38:01,766
But tonight was the first
time I realize what leaving
790
00:38:01,769 --> 00:38:04,086
actually cost her.
791
00:38:05,572 --> 00:38:07,814
You know,
792
00:38:07,817 --> 00:38:10,275
after we had our girls,
793
00:38:10,277 --> 00:38:12,444
Molly wanted to stay home with them,
794
00:38:12,446 --> 00:38:14,889
so I went back to work.
795
00:38:15,966 --> 00:38:18,481
And every time I left, I
always said the same thing:
796
00:38:18,484 --> 00:38:20,786
"I love you. I'll call you later.
797
00:38:20,788 --> 00:38:23,230
Don't let 'em do anything
cool while I'm gone."
798
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,383
Maybe if I'd just found her earlier.
799
00:38:27,386 --> 00:38:29,341
You did everything you could, Howie.
800
00:38:29,344 --> 00:38:31,463
All right, no matter
what else you're feeling,
801
00:38:31,465 --> 00:38:32,631
know that.
802
00:38:32,633 --> 00:38:34,586
I just wanted to fix her, you know?
803
00:38:34,589 --> 00:38:36,163
Just make it all okay.
804
00:38:36,166 --> 00:38:38,694
Even though you know fixing
her isn't your responsibility?
805
00:38:38,697 --> 00:38:40,397
Yeah.
806
00:38:40,399 --> 00:38:42,583
Why do I always do that?
807
00:38:42,585 --> 00:38:44,826
It's how you're wired.
808
00:38:44,828 --> 00:38:46,921
Helping people is how you help yourself.
809
00:38:46,923 --> 00:38:48,647
And because you love her.
810
00:38:53,837 --> 00:38:58,248
I knew I had missed a lot,
and it's been six months,
811
00:38:58,250 --> 00:38:59,416
but seeing her...
812
00:38:59,418 --> 00:39:01,176
Made it real?
813
00:39:01,178 --> 00:39:02,919
Too real.
814
00:39:04,396 --> 00:39:07,230
I just wasn't prepared for
how much it was gonna hurt.
815
00:39:07,233 --> 00:39:11,661
I mean, looking at her, I saw
every milestone I've missed.
816
00:39:11,664 --> 00:39:14,690
But that doesn't mean that
you can't be there for...
817
00:39:14,692 --> 00:39:16,867
all the other ones.
818
00:39:18,529 --> 00:39:19,803
What about you?
819
00:39:19,805 --> 00:39:22,272
Did you talk to your social worker?
820
00:39:23,793 --> 00:39:25,793
Yeah.
821
00:39:25,795 --> 00:39:28,353
Um, I have to go back to detox,
822
00:39:28,355 --> 00:39:30,062
then...
823
00:39:30,065 --> 00:39:33,541
another 60 days outpatient.
824
00:39:33,544 --> 00:39:35,260
And are you gonna do it?
825
00:39:36,431 --> 00:39:39,449
If I want to see my son.
826
00:39:39,452 --> 00:39:41,669
Yeah. I have to.
827
00:39:43,554 --> 00:39:48,056
Thank you for saving my life.
828
00:39:48,058 --> 00:39:50,709
I don't remember everything I said,
829
00:39:50,711 --> 00:39:53,303
but, um, I know how I can get.
830
00:39:53,305 --> 00:39:55,564
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
831
00:39:55,566 --> 00:39:57,065
You were hurting.
832
00:39:57,067 --> 00:39:59,660
We're not always our best
selves when that happens.
833
00:39:59,662 --> 00:40:01,570
I'm really glad you're okay.
834
00:40:01,572 --> 00:40:03,497
Well, not yet.
835
00:40:03,499 --> 00:40:05,815
But I'm gonna keep trying.
836
00:40:05,817 --> 00:40:08,727
I have to.
837
00:40:08,729 --> 00:40:13,101
Not just for me, but for Robbie.
838
00:40:18,572 --> 00:40:20,764
Was I gone too long?
839
00:40:22,834 --> 00:40:25,427
I can't get back the time I lost.
840
00:40:25,429 --> 00:40:27,521
No.
841
00:40:27,523 --> 00:40:30,524
But you can move forward.
842
00:40:30,526 --> 00:40:33,343
And the only way to do
that is to forgive yourself.
843
00:40:33,345 --> 00:40:34,770
And, Maddie,
844
00:40:34,772 --> 00:40:38,607
don't be afraid...
845
00:40:38,609 --> 00:40:41,785
to fight for what you want.
846
00:40:51,105 --> 00:40:52,287
- Hey.
- Hey.
847
00:40:52,289 --> 00:40:53,905
Aww, how's my girl today?
848
00:40:56,627 --> 00:40:58,886
I promise it's not you.
849
00:40:58,888 --> 00:41:01,304
We walked by a park on the way here,
850
00:41:01,307 --> 00:41:03,716
and she got very angry when
I said it wasn't playtime.
851
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:07,061
Oh, that's okay, we can
go to a park. That's fine.
852
00:41:07,063 --> 00:41:09,045
Uh, I think we should
wait at least an hour.
853
00:41:09,047 --> 00:41:10,622
I don't want to make it look like
854
00:41:10,624 --> 00:41:12,434
I caved in to a tantrum, you know.
855
00:41:12,437 --> 00:41:15,627
Right. Oh, right, she's old
enough to have those now.
856
00:41:15,629 --> 00:41:19,059
Oh... come on, Jee-Yun.
857
00:41:19,062 --> 00:41:20,450
Don't you want to say hi?
858
00:41:23,717 --> 00:41:25,700
Come on, Jee-Yun.
859
00:41:25,703 --> 00:41:28,565
Don't you want to say hi to Mommy? Hmm?
860
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:32,994
I'm not gonna lie,
this might be worse than
861
00:41:32,996 --> 00:41:35,480
going through colic all over again.
862
00:41:35,482 --> 00:41:36,982
Can I try something?
863
00:41:36,984 --> 00:41:40,844
Be my guest, but don't be
offended if it doesn't work.
864
00:41:43,692 --> 00:41:48,044
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪
865
00:41:48,996 --> 00:41:52,047
♪ Round and round ♪
866
00:41:52,050 --> 00:41:53,832
♪ Round and round ♪
867
00:41:53,834 --> 00:41:56,168
You like that?
868
00:41:56,170 --> 00:41:58,372
♪ The wheels on the bus ♪
869
00:41:58,375 --> 00:42:01,187
♪ Go round and round. ♪
870
00:42:01,190 --> 00:42:03,557
Mama.
871
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:04,989
Did she just...
872
00:42:04,992 --> 00:42:07,281
She recognized your voice.
873
00:42:07,284 --> 00:42:09,014
How does she remember me?
874
00:42:09,016 --> 00:42:10,866
Of course she remembers you.
875
00:42:10,868 --> 00:42:12,851
Six months, six years.
876
00:42:12,853 --> 00:42:14,962
Neither of us could ever forget you.
877
00:42:16,113 --> 00:42:18,873
Okay.
878
00:42:18,876 --> 00:42:21,260
So, what do you want to do now?
879
00:42:22,863 --> 00:42:24,972
I want to go home.
880
00:42:28,627 --> 00:42:32,170
- Okay.
- Okay.
881
00:42:32,172 --> 00:42:33,538
Hi. Hi.
882
00:42:33,540 --> 00:42:35,874
- Go home with us, Baby Jee?
- Want to do it again?
883
00:42:35,876 --> 00:42:38,122
♪ The wheels on the bus ♪
884
00:42:38,125 --> 00:42:39,802
♪ Go round and round ♪
885
00:42:39,804 --> 00:42:40,988
Whoo!
886
00:42:40,990 --> 00:42:42,489
♪ Round and round ♪
887
00:42:42,491 --> 00:42:44,234
♪ Round and round. ♪
888
00:42:46,377 --> 00:42:49,770
Each year, for every one
person that dies by suicide,
889
00:42:49,773 --> 00:42:53,216
316 others consider
taking their own life
890
00:42:53,219 --> 00:42:54,726
but do not go through with it.
891
00:42:54,728 --> 00:42:56,520
If you or someone you care about
892
00:42:56,523 --> 00:42:59,301
is contemplating suicide,
help is available.
893
00:42:59,304 --> 00:43:02,161
Call the National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline at:
894
00:43:02,164 --> 00:43:05,536
1-800-273-8255.
895
00:43:05,539 --> 00:43:08,553
Or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
896
00:43:08,556 --> 00:43:12,333
The Lifeline is available
24/7 across the United States.
897
00:43:12,336 --> 00:43:14,420
It is free and confidential.
898
00:43:14,423 --> 00:43:16,981
There is hope. There is help.
899
00:43:16,984 --> 00:43:18,984
And you are not alone.
900
00:43:21,937 --> 00:43:28,265
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
64784
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