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1
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,298
(Bart and Lisa noisily chewing)
2
00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:13,345
Come on, come on, come on.
Pick up the pace.
3
00:00:13,497 --> 00:00:14,596
Here you go.
4
00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:20,552
- (grunts) Mm...
- (gulps)
5
00:00:20,704 --> 00:00:21,520
Mmm.
6
00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:24,264
Hurry up! It's almost here.
7
00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:25,582
- (doorbell rings)
- (exclaims)
8
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:26,734
- (panting)
- Mm?
9
00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:28,861
Yippee!
10
00:00:29,012 --> 00:00:31,605
My industrial-grade
steam vacuum.
11
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,348
The same model
they use to clean
12
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,702
grisly crime scenes
and sticky champagne rooms.
13
00:00:36,853 --> 00:00:39,930
Okay, ma'am, I have you down
for a three-hour rental
14
00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:42,875
starting... now.
15
00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:44,618
Everybody, out, out,
out, out, out!
16
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:47,604
Me and the floors deserve
to savor every minute
17
00:00:47,697 --> 00:00:49,773
of our special spa day.
18
00:00:49,775 --> 00:00:50,941
And take the dog.
19
00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:52,109
(barks)
20
00:00:52,202 --> 00:00:54,369
Now it's my time
21
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,447
to make these stains "herstory."
22
00:00:57,541 --> 00:01:00,726
Ugh, are you quoting
their actual slogan?
23
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,396
I'm quoting my wildest dreams.
24
00:01:09,295 --> 00:01:11,236
BOTH:
Dog park, dog park, dog park!
25
00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:12,071
KIDS: Whee!
26
00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:13,906
- Whee! Whee!
- (boinging)
27
00:01:14,057 --> 00:01:15,557
BOTH: Trampoline park,
trampoline park,
28
00:01:15,651 --> 00:01:16,891
trampoline park!
29
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,578
Aw, don't leave me alone
in that giant dirt toilet
30
00:01:19,729 --> 00:01:22,581
with all those lonely
dog-obsessed weirdos.
31
00:01:22,808 --> 00:01:24,732
BOTH: Please.
32
00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:26,993
- (kids moaning)
- (boinging)
33
00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:30,297
Well, what could go wrong
with all those doctors around?
34
00:01:33,836 --> 00:01:36,169
- Hey, Homer.
- What are you doing here?
35
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,672
(short chuckle) Once it became
clear that human companionship
36
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,006
was a non-starter,
37
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:42,935
I adopted this handsome
little mister, Devin.
38
00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:44,103
He loves it here.
39
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:45,587
The training books say
it's important
40
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,164
to keep your dog socialized.
41
00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:48,941
HOMER: It's not a book park.
42
00:01:49,092 --> 00:01:50,717
And now that you're here,
I have somebody
43
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,169
I can talk dogs with.
44
00:01:52,187 --> 00:01:54,855
So, where'd you get your dog?
45
00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:56,764
Uh, I think he came
with the house?
46
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,508
Look at us, dog-talking.
47
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,027
We'll meet here every morning
at 7:00 and have our own club.
48
00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:02,437
The Dog Dad Boyz.
49
00:02:02,531 --> 00:02:04,272
I'll reach out
to logo designers.
50
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,625
HOMER:Oh, God, somebodyget me out of this.
51
00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:09,353
(growls)
52
00:02:09,371 --> 00:02:10,871
(yelps)
53
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,614
Aah! Dev-Dev!
54
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,524
Control your psycho, maniac.
55
00:02:14,543 --> 00:02:15,617
Bad dog dad.
56
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,211
Membership
in the Dog Dad Boyz revoked.
57
00:02:18,364 --> 00:02:21,381
Oh, you saved me from
the worst kind of human--
58
00:02:21,533 --> 00:02:22,474
a dog lover.
59
00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:24,143
I love you, dog.
60
00:02:24,294 --> 00:02:26,436
Let's go get you a reward.
61
00:02:30,392 --> 00:02:33,226
Okay, wait here for two minutes
while I get your treat.
62
00:02:33,395 --> 00:02:35,045
I'm gonna open
the windows halfway
63
00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:36,822
and leave the AC running.
64
00:02:36,899 --> 00:02:38,490
(smacks)
65
00:02:39,718 --> 00:02:40,884
Hmm.
66
00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:42,810
What ice cream flavor
will make my dog feel
67
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,456
like the most cherished creature
in the entire universe?
68
00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:53,130
(keys jingling)
69
00:02:53,916 --> 00:02:55,174
Hey, check it out.
70
00:02:55,401 --> 00:02:57,234
Some jerk left their
dog in the car.
71
00:02:57,252 --> 00:02:59,736
With the windows
rolled up, no less.
72
00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:01,905
- Who does that?
- Monster.
73
00:03:01,924 --> 00:03:05,442
Obviously, no chocolate,
but he does love peanut butter.
74
00:03:05,444 --> 00:03:07,928
Rum raisin is a no,
for any species.
75
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,504
(indistinct chatter)
76
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,006
What kind of lunatic
thinks this is okay?
77
00:03:12,084 --> 00:03:14,860
Some people are
just born broken.
78
00:03:14,937 --> 00:03:17,421
(honking horn)
79
00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:18,697
(whistling a tune)
80
00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:20,532
Puppy spoiler, coming through.
81
00:03:20,684 --> 00:03:21,608
Hey, what am I missing?
82
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,593
A churlish individual saw fit
83
00:03:23,612 --> 00:03:26,446
to desert their dog
in a hideous sedan.
84
00:03:26,523 --> 00:03:28,916
Wait, it's not
what it looks like.
85
00:03:29,101 --> 00:03:31,710
I just left my dog
in my car on purpose.
86
00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:33,295
(indistinct grumbling)
87
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,274
Whoa, how could you, man?
88
00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:39,701
And on a scorcher like today?
89
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,220
What? It's not a...
90
00:03:43,039 --> 00:03:44,872
Aah!
Come on boy, help me out.
91
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,950
Get the keys. Get the keys.
92
00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:49,895
You expect him to work
under these conditions?
93
00:03:50,046 --> 00:03:51,137
No, wait.
I think Marge
94
00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:52,898
hid a key
under the car somewhere.
95
00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:55,625
The dog-cooking wuss
is trying to hide.
96
00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:57,736
MAN:
Grab his legs!
97
00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:01,531
Leave me alone.
I'm good with dogs.
98
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:06,136
He locked the Dalmatian
in the firetruck. Oh!
99
00:04:06,305 --> 00:04:08,972
- (clamoring)
- WOMAN: Gotta be kidding me!
100
00:04:09,065 --> 00:04:10,582
(cheering)
101
00:04:10,809 --> 00:04:12,400
Okay, everyone. The dog's fine.
102
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,402
Why don't you all
just get a life.
103
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,071
No wonder his dog
is such a psycho.
104
00:04:17,165 --> 00:04:19,483
(huffs)
He's probably a bad parent, too.
105
00:04:19,485 --> 00:04:20,926
How dare you?
106
00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:23,578
Dad, you forgot to pick us up.
107
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,930
(all gasp)
108
00:04:25,081 --> 00:04:27,657
(sighs) Glad that's over,
aren't we, boy?
109
00:04:27,826 --> 00:04:30,602
Uh, I'm not so sure.
110
00:04:30,829 --> 00:04:32,729
♪ ♪
111
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,023
MARGE:
Oh... yes.
112
00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:44,841
(sighs)
This must be
113
00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:47,527
how Catholics feel
after confession.
114
00:04:47,679 --> 00:04:50,180
Now, to post some
before-and-after shots
115
00:04:50,198 --> 00:04:53,458
so the neighbors can eat their
dirty carpet hearts out.
116
00:04:54,536 --> 00:04:55,610
Hmm?
117
00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:56,712
No. (gasps)
118
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,948
No. No...
119
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,635
No!
120
00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:07,881
Okay, so far, the neighborhood
rage is contained
121
00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:09,215
to just dog lovers.
122
00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:11,959
Oh, no. It's spread
to the cat people.
123
00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:13,979
Oh, now it's
the horse crazies.
124
00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:16,982
Those horse crazies
don't mess around.
125
00:05:17,209 --> 00:05:20,710
Homer, you have
to apologize for yesterday.
126
00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:22,729
What? Why?
The dog and I are cool.
127
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,383
Look, we know you didn't
mean to do anything wrong.
128
00:05:26,476 --> 00:05:29,235
But sometimes you just
need to accept responsibility
129
00:05:29,388 --> 00:05:30,495
so people will move on.
130
00:05:30,647 --> 00:05:33,999
So, I drafted you
a heartfelt apology.
131
00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:35,650
That's so sweet, honey.
132
00:05:35,744 --> 00:05:38,128
But trust me, it'll blow over.
133
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,324
When God gave man dominion over
134
00:05:43,418 --> 00:05:45,993
all the beasts of the Earth,
135
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,496
that was not
permission for one man
136
00:05:48,665 --> 00:05:50,924
to abandon a dog
in a hot Plymouth.
137
00:05:51,076 --> 00:05:52,592
(murmuring)
138
00:05:53,595 --> 00:05:57,414
Mm. Okay, I get it.
Everybody's mad at me.
139
00:05:57,432 --> 00:05:58,932
(softly)
Dad, nip this in the bud
140
00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:01,193
and use my apology.
141
00:06:03,772 --> 00:06:05,012
I'm Homer Simpson,
142
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,923
and I'm truly sorry.
143
00:06:07,016 --> 00:06:09,851
(chanting) Tsk, tsk, tsk!
144
00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:14,097
Sorry if you pee-pee babies
were offended by something
145
00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:16,116
that was no big deal
and everything's fine.
146
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,767
So what's the issue?
147
00:06:17,936 --> 00:06:20,437
Amazing job, you really
got his voice down.
148
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:23,440
Okay, Homer, I think
you've made your point.
149
00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:26,200
I'm sorry that you don't have
enough things to get mad at.
150
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,111
I'm sorry that you all have skin
151
00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,280
thinner than gas station
toilet paper.
152
00:06:30,298 --> 00:06:32,540
And I'm sorry that your
lives are so boring
153
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,285
that you take a man
who left his rescue dog
154
00:06:35,378 --> 00:06:38,212
for two minutes to buy him
organic ice cream
155
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,715
from a woman-owned
local business,
156
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,383
and you crucify him!
157
00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:43,476
- (glass shatters)
- Ahh!
158
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,405
- (Devin yelps)
- LENNY: Ow, my dog's eye!
159
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:48,281
Mm-mm.
160
00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:53,328
♪ ♪
161
00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:01,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-
162
00:07:07,335 --> 00:07:10,336
My fellow Springfielders,
here at Burns Industries,
163
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:13,432
we release the hounds
on all forms of disrespect,
164
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:16,768
and to tolerance
we say, "excellent."
165
00:07:16,995 --> 00:07:19,162
As such, we have
terminated association
166
00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:20,939
with Homer J. Simpson,
as his actions
167
00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:23,442
do not represent
the values of Evil Corps.
168
00:07:23,518 --> 00:07:26,002
Moving forward,we plan to sit back,
169
00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:28,429
tent our fingers, and listen.
170
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,508
Well, Homer, on the plus side,
this has made people forget
171
00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,452
- you almost killed the dog.
- Oh...
172
00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:40,200
- (phone rings)
- Yes, this is the residence
173
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,701
of the guy who pushed a pastor
out of a church window.
174
00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:44,354
Uh-huh. And would you
classify that as a death threat
175
00:07:44,372 --> 00:07:47,040
or merely an
act of extreme violence?
176
00:07:47,192 --> 00:07:48,550
Thank you for your rage.
177
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:50,802
Hm.
178
00:07:51,029 --> 00:07:52,212
Oh, Lovejoy's fine.
179
00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:54,956
But I lost my job and now
that trolls put my photos
180
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,549
and phone number
on the Internet,
181
00:07:56,702 --> 00:07:59,961
I also lost
my anonon-nim-ninim-ninity.
182
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:01,554
There's also a bunch of TikToks
183
00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:03,765
of people lip-syncing
to what you said,
184
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,542
because that's
what comedy is now.
185
00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,319
HOMER'S VOICE:I'm sorry that you all have skin
186
00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:09,896
thinner than gas stationtoilet paper.
187
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:13,307
Oh, I've never been
so viciously lampooned.
188
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,568
I hate this horrible new world.
189
00:08:15,721 --> 00:08:18,555
What I need now
is the comfort of fast food
190
00:08:18,573 --> 00:08:20,457
and slow friends.
191
00:08:21,893 --> 00:08:24,377
(gasping)
192
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,508
(exclaims)
193
00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:33,160
Three weeks later.
194
00:08:33,255 --> 00:08:35,496
ANNOUNCER:Shrimp? Who you calling shrimp?
195
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,773
It's prawn time, baby,
196
00:08:36,775 --> 00:08:39,092
at Dead Lobster'sAnnual Prawn-a-thon!
197
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:41,836
Grab your bibfor crispy popcorn prawn,
198
00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:45,081
wood-grilled prawn skewerssizzling prawn scampi,
199
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,933
and parmesan-breadedprawns casino
200
00:08:47,085 --> 00:08:49,194
served over ice cold lump prawn.
201
00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:53,122
All washed down with a tropicalTiki Passion Prawn-tini.
202
00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:54,274
(gasps) Guys!
203
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:57,427
It's Prawn-a-thon time. Guys!
204
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,929
They wouldn't go without me,
would they?
205
00:08:59,948 --> 00:09:01,414
(whimpers, gasps)
206
00:09:04,936 --> 00:09:05,935
(indistinct conversations)
207
00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:07,103
Oh my God, everybody, shut up.
208
00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:08,454
It's the pastor-pusher.
209
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,465
(all gasp)
210
00:09:12,535 --> 00:09:14,869
Well, I never.
211
00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:18,631
Why am I always meeting
people who never? Mm.
212
00:09:18,784 --> 00:09:22,135
Hey, "strangers," enjoying
your entrées of embarrassment
213
00:09:22,287 --> 00:09:23,728
about being related to me?
214
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,214
Don't take it personally.
215
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,976
We need to be able to do
some normal family things
216
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,644
without being publicly shamed.
217
00:09:31,813 --> 00:09:35,965
We just want a little
anon-mini-nanom-nini-ninity.
218
00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:37,634
But Prawn-a-thon?
219
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,469
That's our special thon.
220
00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:41,896
I'm so upset
I might not ever be able
221
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,582
to get my prawn on again.
222
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:47,160
Yikes. That has got to be
the saddest thing
223
00:09:47,312 --> 00:09:49,236
ever said in a chain
seafood restaurant.
224
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,980
It's not too late, Homer.
225
00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:52,148
I'm here to help you.
226
00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:53,483
Help me?
Is this
227
00:09:53,576 --> 00:09:55,927
some kind of prank,
like when those YouTubers
228
00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,837
chased me with real machetes?
229
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,006
Wow. And no.
230
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,507
I have created a refuge
231
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,102
where people like you
can find redemption.
232
00:10:04,329 --> 00:10:07,421
I run an institute.
We call it The Institute.
233
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:08,315
(gasps)
234
00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:11,351
And it might just be
your last chance
235
00:10:11,503 --> 00:10:13,353
at rehabilitating
your reputation.
236
00:10:13,505 --> 00:10:16,281
Wait, wait, are you saying
you can steam clean,
237
00:10:16,508 --> 00:10:17,674
if you will,
238
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,693
my husband's reputational
carpet, if you will?
239
00:10:20,862 --> 00:10:24,105
I am, and I will. And I will.
240
00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:26,273
The Institute is his only hope.
241
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:30,128
Well, my reputation
is everything to me.
242
00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:33,022
That doesn't jibe
with your past behavior.
243
00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:36,042
I'm tired of reputations
being about past behavior.
244
00:10:36,194 --> 00:10:39,304
I'll do it.
Keep it safe.
245
00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:49,555
Here at the Institute,
we break our rehabilitants up
246
00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:52,150
according to the severity
of their mistakes.
247
00:10:52,377 --> 00:10:54,802
HOMER:
Uh-huh. Yep.
248
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,546
That makes sense.
249
00:10:56,548 --> 00:10:57,714
Interesting.
250
00:10:57,732 --> 00:10:58,806
(chuckles)
251
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,993
We don't take any Halloween
mishaps more recent than that
252
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:05,054
because, at a certain point,
you should know better.
253
00:11:05,073 --> 00:11:06,239
Totally.
254
00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:07,740
Homer, meet your team.
255
00:11:07,893 --> 00:11:11,152
Just like you, they all went
stupid viral in a bad way.
256
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:14,839
First up, Helen Lovejoy,
aka "Lemonade Karen."
257
00:11:14,916 --> 00:11:16,232
Let me see your permit.
258
00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:18,251
Where did you stealthese lemons from?
259
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,512
I don't think you're evenfrom this neighborhood.
260
00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:22,238
Siri, call 911.
261
00:11:22,331 --> 00:11:25,408
THEO: Councilman Jed Hawk,
aka "The Toilet Rocker,"
262
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:28,261
who always forgets to turn off
his camera and hit mute.
263
00:11:28,413 --> 00:11:30,355
♪ She was a fast machine ♪
264
00:11:30,432 --> 00:11:31,764
♪ She kept her motor clean ♪
265
00:11:31,917 --> 00:11:33,099
(scat singing)
266
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,085
♪ American thighs ♪
267
00:11:36,179 --> 00:11:37,362
- Oh, no.- (all gasp)
268
00:11:37,589 --> 00:11:40,681
THEO: Larry Doogan,
aka "Pissed-O-Shorty."
269
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,275
He throws tantrums in public.
270
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,201
A lot.
271
00:11:43,428 --> 00:11:45,370
Oh sure, the club's at capacity
272
00:11:45,521 --> 00:11:47,038
as soon as the short guyshows up.
273
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:49,115
I get it, and I'm pissed-O!
274
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:51,209
Oh, so you don't have anyblueberry muffins left
275
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,379
for the short man? I'm pissed-O!
276
00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:56,606
I do... realize you only agreed
277
00:11:56,624 --> 00:11:58,608
to spend the restof your life with me
278
00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:01,219
- because I'm short,and it's pissing-me-o!- (gasps)
279
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:04,630
THEO: Kirk Van Houten,
aka "Juice Box Dad."
280
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,633
Come on, Coach Loser,don't you want to win?
281
00:12:07,786 --> 00:12:11,471
Take... my son...Out... of the game!
282
00:12:11,623 --> 00:12:13,231
(sighs)
283
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,310
(laughs)
Oh, yeah, I shared that.
284
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,795
Juice Box Dad.
285
00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:21,781
Wait, how am I supposed
to revive my reputation
286
00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:23,316
associating with these scum?
287
00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:25,134
Watch who you're calling short.
288
00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:27,820
Whoa, somebody's pissed-O.
289
00:12:27,973 --> 00:12:29,230
Siri, call 911.
290
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,732
Look, everyone,
let's just calm down.
291
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,902
Or what? You'll push us
out a stained glass window?
292
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:38,572
Hey! That was just a careless
accident born out of rage.
293
00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:41,501
(all clamoring)
294
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,262
Are we sure we have the right
people for this team?
295
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,248
They're awful.
296
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,727
Which is why they're perfectfor this mission.
297
00:12:59,019 --> 00:13:00,670
Here at the Institute,
we believe
298
00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,280
good works overcome bad days.
299
00:13:02,507 --> 00:13:04,173
So, to fix your reputations,
300
00:13:04,175 --> 00:13:06,767
your team will be doing
public acts of charity.
301
00:13:06,861 --> 00:13:08,194
When we post them online,
302
00:13:08,271 --> 00:13:10,622
they will make your
transgressions a distant memory.
303
00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:12,015
Work together?
304
00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:14,959
Sorry, I don't exactly
play well with others.
305
00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:16,352
Okay, then we'll spend the day
306
00:13:16,445 --> 00:13:18,538
doing a bunch of team-building
improv exercises.
307
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,189
Good deeds! Good deeds!
308
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,469
♪ I'm a foolto do your dirty work ♪
309
00:13:24,696 --> 00:13:27,472
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
310
00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:29,048
♪ I don't wanna do ♪
311
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,475
♪ Your dirty work ♪
312
00:13:30,626 --> 00:13:34,370
♪ No more ♪
313
00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:37,206
♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪
314
00:13:37,225 --> 00:13:39,725
♪ Oh, yeah. ♪
315
00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:41,394
- (grunts)
- (laughs)
316
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,213
I can feel my reputation
being restored
317
00:13:44,232 --> 00:13:46,716
with each carefully-staged
good deed.
318
00:13:46,809 --> 00:13:48,809
(people cackling)
319
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:52,313
Look, it's the people
the Internet told us to hate.
320
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,574
(laughing)
321
00:13:54,726 --> 00:13:57,076
They still hate us.
The plan isn't working.
322
00:13:57,228 --> 00:13:59,395
What do we do now?
Call 911?
323
00:13:59,488 --> 00:14:01,322
Unfortunately,
that was the only way
324
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,232
to get you your lives back.
325
00:14:03,251 --> 00:14:06,419
Well, there is one other way.
No, we can't.
326
00:14:06,495 --> 00:14:09,238
- What?
- No, it's too radical.
327
00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:13,076
Ah, but it's the only thing
that's 100% guaranteed to work.
328
00:14:13,094 --> 00:14:15,261
Hmm, yeah, it does sound
pretty radical.
329
00:14:15,338 --> 00:14:17,080
Thanks for being honest
about that.
330
00:14:17,098 --> 00:14:18,931
Well, sometimes
the only way to get results
331
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,583
is through radical action.
332
00:14:20,602 --> 00:14:22,602
Sorry, we took a vote.
It's too radical.
333
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,511
Wh... I didn't even
tell you what it is yet.
334
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,030
When you said "radical,"
you said enough.
335
00:14:26,182 --> 00:14:27,273
Bye forever.
336
00:14:27,425 --> 00:14:29,592
Look, I thought that
by calling it radical,
337
00:14:29,611 --> 00:14:31,185
you'd be more likely
to want to do it.
338
00:14:31,279 --> 00:14:33,096
Like you'd be intrigued
or something.
339
00:14:33,189 --> 00:14:35,781
(gasps) Intrigued, eh?
340
00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:38,001
You are all here
at The Institute...
341
00:14:39,287 --> 00:14:41,028
...because of
the humiliation you faced
342
00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:43,364
after the world
saw you on your worst day.
343
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,531
(all shudder)
344
00:14:44,609 --> 00:14:46,459
But, what if you could
delete all that
345
00:14:46,611 --> 00:14:50,037
from every computer,
every phone, every meme,
346
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,057
and even every personal
hard drive on Earth?
347
00:14:53,284 --> 00:14:54,450
But that's impossible.
348
00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:57,395
You'd have to invent
something to do that.
349
00:14:57,546 --> 00:14:58,712
Funny you say that.
I did
350
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,640
invent something to do that.
351
00:15:00,792 --> 00:15:03,234
A universal eradication code
that can completely scrub
352
00:15:03,461 --> 00:15:06,312
any image or video
from the entire Internet.
353
00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:08,239
Scrub us.
You scrub us right now!
354
00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:10,983
Oh, I would, but first
I need to upload the code
355
00:15:11,136 --> 00:15:12,635
into the one server
powerful enough
356
00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:15,413
to reach every corner
of the World Wide Web.
357
00:15:16,658 --> 00:15:17,731
ChumNet.
358
00:15:18,734 --> 00:15:20,810
You mean the company
that puts those annoying
359
00:15:20,828 --> 00:15:24,163
clickbait-y headlines
on the bottom of every website?
360
00:15:24,315 --> 00:15:26,132
Yes, they're everywhere.
361
00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:29,318
No platform has greater reach.
362
00:15:29,337 --> 00:15:31,320
But to upload the scrub code
into their servers,
363
00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:35,158
I need you to break in
to the ChumNet headquarters.
364
00:15:35,176 --> 00:15:37,343
Break in?
That sounds dangerous.
365
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:38,585
It is, Helen.
366
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,271
That was the radical part
I mentioned earlier,
367
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:42,423
that didn't seem
to land with any of you.
368
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,425
Radical, eh?
369
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,427
Yeah, we don't have
anything to lose.
370
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,280
So, we're kind of like
a suicide squad.
371
00:15:49,507 --> 00:15:52,358
You're exactly kind of like
a suicide squad.
372
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,600
What do you say?
373
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,845
I think we can pull this-O.
374
00:15:55,863 --> 00:15:57,121
I say we do it.
375
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,458
We need to fight for each other,
because we're a family.
376
00:16:00,609 --> 00:16:01,684
ALL: Aw.
377
00:16:01,777 --> 00:16:04,203
A family I don't want or need.
378
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,872
I miss my actual family,
so let's do this.
379
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,115
(all agree)
380
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,376
But if we're going
on a commando mission,
381
00:16:10,453 --> 00:16:12,136
don't we need
some sort of training?
382
00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:13,620
(laughs) Don't you see?
383
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,290
You've already had
some sort of training.
384
00:16:16,384 --> 00:16:20,627
♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪
385
00:16:20,722 --> 00:16:23,314
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
386
00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:27,543
♪ I don't wanna do your dirty work ♪
387
00:16:27,636 --> 00:16:29,562
♪ No more ♪
388
00:16:29,714 --> 00:16:34,033
♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work. ♪
389
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,161
We're in.
390
00:16:37,388 --> 00:16:39,055
Okay, just stay focused
391
00:16:39,148 --> 00:16:41,057
until you find
the ChumNet server room.
392
00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:42,816
What about
all the people in there?
393
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,461
There are no people.
Just clickbait.
394
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,550
So whatever you do,
don't stop to click on anything.
395
00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:06,599
(snorts) Who falls
for this garbage anyway?
396
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,085
- Wait, what does
she look like now?
- (click)
397
00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:12,938
"80 NFL players
who live in bad houses.
398
00:17:13,091 --> 00:17:14,440
Number six will shock you."
(scoffs)
399
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,776
- Well, we'll see about that.
- (click)
400
00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:18,110
"One simple trick to add
401
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,929
- years to your height."
- (click)
402
00:17:20,022 --> 00:17:22,331
Whoa, these headlines
are so tempting.
403
00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:27,937
No!
We have to remember our goal.
404
00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:32,050
Erasing our shame and returning
to our pre-pariah lives. (gasps)
405
00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:33,459
Oh, no.
406
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,554
They're all trapped in endless
slow-loading slideshows.
407
00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:38,038
These houses suck.
408
00:17:38,132 --> 00:17:40,616
Sucks, sucks, sucks.
409
00:17:40,635 --> 00:17:43,061
(gasps)
Number six.
410
00:17:43,137 --> 00:17:45,063
Homer, get them out now!
411
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,232
- (alarm blaring)
- (whimpering)
412
00:17:50,978 --> 00:17:52,962
I just wanted to know
which vegetable
413
00:17:52,964 --> 00:17:54,814
gut doctors are begging me
to throw out.
414
00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:58,409
It's radishes. I could have
told you it was radishes!
415
00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:00,894
Find the server room, Homer,
you'll be safe there.
416
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,414
This is prawn-demonium!
417
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,084
Ooh.
418
00:18:07,645 --> 00:18:10,254
THEO:Okay, straight aheadis the access port.
419
00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:12,072
Mm...
420
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,482
Insert the flash drive.
421
00:18:13,543 --> 00:18:15,167
Once the scrub codeis fully uploaded,
422
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,819
everything will be erased,
423
00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:19,913
and you will returnto a life of anon-min-mity.
424
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,341
Anon-min, Amoni-mity.
425
00:18:22,493 --> 00:18:24,084
COMPUTER:It's "anonymity."
426
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:28,064
Preparing global Internet scrubfor the following individuals.
427
00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:30,441
HOMER:
There we are.
428
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,779
Wait, who are they?
I recognize these people.
429
00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:36,172
They're really terrible.
430
00:18:36,265 --> 00:18:39,008
That guy raised the price
of insulin for fun.
431
00:18:39,026 --> 00:18:40,693
I think that guy
was just president,
432
00:18:40,845 --> 00:18:42,678
and those are his kids.
433
00:18:42,771 --> 00:18:44,104
And, oh, my God,
434
00:18:44,198 --> 00:18:47,291
that's the football coach
that does all the cheating!
435
00:18:47,518 --> 00:18:49,368
Yes, Homer.
All evidence of their misdeeds
436
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,686
will be erased too.
437
00:18:50,779 --> 00:18:51,704
But that's different.
438
00:18:51,856 --> 00:18:53,856
Those people did
actual bad stuff.
439
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:56,025
Wow, lot of Russian generals.
440
00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:58,302
COMPUTER:Upload at 60%.
441
00:18:58,454 --> 00:18:59,620
Jeebus crackers.
442
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,121
So the only way
to save myself
443
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,790
is to erase the crimes
of history's current monsters?
444
00:19:03,885 --> 00:19:05,201
Oh, wise up, Homer.
445
00:19:05,294 --> 00:19:07,645
Who do you think funded
this entire operation?
446
00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:09,480
(gasps)
Scrubbing these villains
447
00:19:09,632 --> 00:19:11,965
is what The Institute
was always really about.
448
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:12,984
What do I do?
449
00:19:13,211 --> 00:19:15,060
Wait, I never
had a handkerchief.
450
00:19:15,213 --> 00:19:18,698
(gasps) Oh, this is the apology
Lisa wrote for me.
451
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,141
The upload's nearly complete.
452
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,902
I can think of almost nothing
at the last minute
453
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,053
that will stop us now.
454
00:19:24,222 --> 00:19:25,329
"It is with my family's support
455
00:19:25,481 --> 00:19:27,281
that I will strive
to do the right thing."
456
00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:29,909
I will strive
to do the right thing!
457
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,395
Homer, listen, you don't know
what my investors
458
00:19:32,413 --> 00:19:34,655
are capable of doing to people
who don't help them cover up
459
00:19:34,749 --> 00:19:36,399
what they're capable of doing.
460
00:19:36,492 --> 00:19:38,992
You don't know
what I'm capable of doing.
461
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:43,055
Yoinking this doodad
out of the computer hole.
462
00:19:43,758 --> 00:19:44,998
(grunts)
463
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,759
COMPUTER:Internet scrub cancelled.
464
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,577
Idiot! You ruined it!
465
00:19:48,671 --> 00:19:50,354
No, my daughter ruined it
466
00:19:50,506 --> 00:19:54,174
by writing the most genuine
and inspirational apology ever.
467
00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:55,985
You should hear it.
468
00:19:57,104 --> 00:19:59,605
I'm Homer Simpson,
and I'm truly sorry.
469
00:19:59,757 --> 00:20:01,348
Sorry, yet also grateful
470
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,608
for this opportunity...
471
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,276
MORGAN FREEMAN VOICE:In the annals of time,
472
00:20:04,429 --> 00:20:05,703
there have only been five
473
00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:07,705
truly great public apologies.
474
00:20:07,932 --> 00:20:10,099
But on that day,
475
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:12,710
the words Lisa wrote,and Homer somehow read
476
00:20:12,861 --> 00:20:14,194
to everyone in the world,
477
00:20:14,288 --> 00:20:16,214
put those others to shame.
478
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:18,107
It was deeply soul-searching
479
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,276
and 100% effective.
480
00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:23,279
Homer was forgiven by all
481
00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:25,872
and beloved forever.
482
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,558
WOMAN:
You failed us.
483
00:20:27,785 --> 00:20:30,728
We're gonna do to you
what we did to democracy:
484
00:20:30,955 --> 00:20:33,046
irreparable damage.
485
00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:34,957
The plan was too radical.
486
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:38,127
Too radical!
No, no, no!
487
00:20:38,145 --> 00:20:39,553
Radical...
488
00:20:39,647 --> 00:20:42,298
Radical!
489
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:44,325
♪ ♪
490
00:20:50,657 --> 00:20:53,142
And because of all of you,
from here forward,
491
00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:55,311
I will be the best
Homer Simpson I can be.
492
00:20:55,404 --> 00:20:57,755
There you have it--
a reminder that we could all be
493
00:20:57,982 --> 00:21:00,699
a little more understanding
of one another's humanity.
494
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:01,926
Up next,
495
00:21:02,077 --> 00:21:05,096
dumb idiot
has heart attack on treadmill.
496
00:21:05,247 --> 00:21:07,914
Another plate of shrimp.
J.K.
497
00:21:08,009 --> 00:21:08,991
It's prawns.
498
00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:11,418
(laughing)
499
00:21:11,512 --> 00:21:13,604
I should have listened
to you all along.
500
00:21:13,831 --> 00:21:15,180
Yeah. Well, mostly, you just
501
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,016
shouldn't have left
the dog in the car.
502
00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:19,443
Yeah, agree to disagree.
503
00:21:19,595 --> 00:21:21,762
But he and I
have an arrangement.
504
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,781
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
505
00:21:23,932 --> 00:21:26,175
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
506
00:21:26,268 --> 00:21:28,935
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
507
00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:30,496
Shh!
508
00:21:34,018 --> 00:21:36,127
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
508
00:21:37,305 --> 00:22:37,619
Support us and become VIP member
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