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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,298 (Bart and Lisa noisily chewing) 2 00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:13,345 Come on, come on, come on. Pick up the pace. 3 00:00:13,497 --> 00:00:14,596 Here you go. 4 00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:20,552 - (grunts) Mm... - (gulps) 5 00:00:20,704 --> 00:00:21,520 Mmm. 6 00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:24,264 Hurry up! It's almost here. 7 00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:25,582 - (doorbell rings) - (exclaims) 8 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:26,734 - (panting) - Mm? 9 00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:28,861 Yippee! 10 00:00:29,012 --> 00:00:31,605 My industrial-grade steam vacuum. 11 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,348 The same model they use to clean 12 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,702 grisly crime scenes and sticky champagne rooms. 13 00:00:36,853 --> 00:00:39,930 Okay, ma'am, I have you down for a three-hour rental 14 00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:42,875 starting... now. 15 00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:44,618 Everybody, out, out, out, out, out! 16 00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:47,604 Me and the floors deserve to savor every minute 17 00:00:47,697 --> 00:00:49,773 of our special spa day. 18 00:00:49,775 --> 00:00:50,941 And take the dog. 19 00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:52,109 (barks) 20 00:00:52,202 --> 00:00:54,369 Now it's my time 21 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,447 to make these stains "herstory." 22 00:00:57,541 --> 00:01:00,726 Ugh, are you quoting their actual slogan? 23 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,396 I'm quoting my wildest dreams. 24 00:01:09,295 --> 00:01:11,236 BOTH: Dog park, dog park, dog park! 25 00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:12,071 KIDS: Whee! 26 00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:13,906 - Whee! Whee! - (boinging) 27 00:01:14,057 --> 00:01:15,557 BOTH: Trampoline park, trampoline park, 28 00:01:15,651 --> 00:01:16,891 trampoline park! 29 00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,578 Aw, don't leave me alone in that giant dirt toilet 30 00:01:19,729 --> 00:01:22,581 with all those lonely dog-obsessed weirdos. 31 00:01:22,808 --> 00:01:24,732 BOTH: Please. 32 00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:26,993 - (kids moaning) - (boinging) 33 00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:30,297 Well, what could go wrong with all those doctors around? 34 00:01:33,836 --> 00:01:36,169 - Hey, Homer. - What are you doing here? 35 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,672 (short chuckle) Once it became clear that human companionship 36 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,006 was a non-starter, 37 00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:42,935 I adopted this handsome little mister, Devin. 38 00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:44,103 He loves it here. 39 00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:45,587 The training books say it's important 40 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,164 to keep your dog socialized. 41 00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:48,941 HOMER: It's not a book park. 42 00:01:49,092 --> 00:01:50,717 And now that you're here, I have somebody 43 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,169 I can talk dogs with. 44 00:01:52,187 --> 00:01:54,855 So, where'd you get your dog? 45 00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:56,764 Uh, I think he came with the house? 46 00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,508 Look at us, dog-talking. 47 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,027 We'll meet here every morning at 7:00 and have our own club. 48 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:02,437 The Dog Dad Boyz. 49 00:02:02,531 --> 00:02:04,272 I'll reach out to logo designers. 50 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,625 HOMER: Oh, God, somebody get me out of this. 51 00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:09,353 (growls) 52 00:02:09,371 --> 00:02:10,871 (yelps) 53 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,614 Aah! Dev-Dev! 54 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,524 Control your psycho, maniac. 55 00:02:14,543 --> 00:02:15,617 Bad dog dad. 56 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,211 Membership in the Dog Dad Boyz revoked. 57 00:02:18,364 --> 00:02:21,381 Oh, you saved me from the worst kind of human-- 58 00:02:21,533 --> 00:02:22,474 a dog lover. 59 00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:24,143 I love you, dog. 60 00:02:24,294 --> 00:02:26,436 Let's go get you a reward. 61 00:02:30,392 --> 00:02:33,226 Okay, wait here for two minutes while I get your treat. 62 00:02:33,395 --> 00:02:35,045 I'm gonna open the windows halfway 63 00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:36,822 and leave the AC running. 64 00:02:36,899 --> 00:02:38,490 (smacks) 65 00:02:39,718 --> 00:02:40,884 Hmm. 66 00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:42,810 What ice cream flavor will make my dog feel 67 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,456 like the most cherished creature in the entire universe? 68 00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:53,130 (keys jingling) 69 00:02:53,916 --> 00:02:55,174 Hey, check it out. 70 00:02:55,401 --> 00:02:57,234 Some jerk left their dog in the car. 71 00:02:57,252 --> 00:02:59,736 With the windows rolled up, no less. 72 00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:01,905 - Who does that? - Monster. 73 00:03:01,924 --> 00:03:05,442 Obviously, no chocolate, but he does love peanut butter. 74 00:03:05,444 --> 00:03:07,928 Rum raisin is a no, for any species. 75 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,504 (indistinct chatter) 76 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,006 What kind of lunatic thinks this is okay? 77 00:03:12,084 --> 00:03:14,860 Some people are just born broken. 78 00:03:14,937 --> 00:03:17,421 (honking horn) 79 00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:18,697 (whistling a tune) 80 00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:20,532 Puppy spoiler, coming through. 81 00:03:20,684 --> 00:03:21,608 Hey, what am I missing? 82 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,593 A churlish individual saw fit 83 00:03:23,612 --> 00:03:26,446 to desert their dog in a hideous sedan. 84 00:03:26,523 --> 00:03:28,916 Wait, it's not what it looks like. 85 00:03:29,101 --> 00:03:31,710 I just left my dog in my car on purpose. 86 00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:33,295 (indistinct grumbling) 87 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,274 Whoa, how could you, man? 88 00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:39,701 And on a scorcher like today? 89 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,220 What? It's not a... 90 00:03:43,039 --> 00:03:44,872 Aah! Come on boy, help me out. 91 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,950 Get the keys. Get the keys. 92 00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:49,895 You expect him to work under these conditions? 93 00:03:50,046 --> 00:03:51,137 No, wait. I think Marge 94 00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:52,898 hid a key under the car somewhere. 95 00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:55,625 The dog-cooking wuss is trying to hide. 96 00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:57,736 MAN: Grab his legs! 97 00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:01,531 Leave me alone. I'm good with dogs. 98 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:06,136 He locked the Dalmatian in the firetruck. Oh! 99 00:04:06,305 --> 00:04:08,972 - (clamoring) - WOMAN: Gotta be kidding me! 100 00:04:09,065 --> 00:04:10,582 (cheering) 101 00:04:10,809 --> 00:04:12,400 Okay, everyone. The dog's fine. 102 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,402 Why don't you all just get a life. 103 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,071 No wonder his dog is such a psycho. 104 00:04:17,165 --> 00:04:19,483 (huffs) He's probably a bad parent, too. 105 00:04:19,485 --> 00:04:20,926 How dare you? 106 00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:23,578 Dad, you forgot to pick us up. 107 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,930 (all gasp) 108 00:04:25,081 --> 00:04:27,657 (sighs) Glad that's over, aren't we, boy? 109 00:04:27,826 --> 00:04:30,602 Uh, I'm not so sure. 110 00:04:30,829 --> 00:04:32,729 ♪ ♪ 111 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,023 MARGE: Oh... yes. 112 00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:44,841 (sighs) This must be 113 00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:47,527 how Catholics feel after confession. 114 00:04:47,679 --> 00:04:50,180 Now, to post some before-and-after shots 115 00:04:50,198 --> 00:04:53,458 so the neighbors can eat their dirty carpet hearts out. 116 00:04:54,536 --> 00:04:55,610 Hmm? 117 00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:56,712 No. (gasps) 118 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,948 No. No... 119 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,635 No! 120 00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:07,881 Okay, so far, the neighborhood rage is contained 121 00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:09,215 to just dog lovers. 122 00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:11,959 Oh, no. It's spread to the cat people. 123 00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:13,979 Oh, now it's the horse crazies. 124 00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:16,982 Those horse crazies don't mess around. 125 00:05:17,209 --> 00:05:20,710 Homer, you have to apologize for yesterday. 126 00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:22,729 What? Why? The dog and I are cool. 127 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,383 Look, we know you didn't mean to do anything wrong. 128 00:05:26,476 --> 00:05:29,235 But sometimes you just need to accept responsibility 129 00:05:29,388 --> 00:05:30,495 so people will move on. 130 00:05:30,647 --> 00:05:33,999 So, I drafted you a heartfelt apology. 131 00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:35,650 That's so sweet, honey. 132 00:05:35,744 --> 00:05:38,128 But trust me, it'll blow over. 133 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,324 When God gave man dominion over 134 00:05:43,418 --> 00:05:45,993 all the beasts of the Earth, 135 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,496 that was not permission for one man 136 00:05:48,665 --> 00:05:50,924 to abandon a dog in a hot Plymouth. 137 00:05:51,076 --> 00:05:52,592 (murmuring) 138 00:05:53,595 --> 00:05:57,414 Mm. Okay, I get it. Everybody's mad at me. 139 00:05:57,432 --> 00:05:58,932 (softly) Dad, nip this in the bud 140 00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:01,193 and use my apology. 141 00:06:03,772 --> 00:06:05,012 I'm Homer Simpson, 142 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,923 and I'm truly sorry. 143 00:06:07,016 --> 00:06:09,851 (chanting) Tsk, tsk, tsk! 144 00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:14,097 Sorry if you pee-pee babies were offended by something 145 00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:16,116 that was no big deal and everything's fine. 146 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,767 So what's the issue? 147 00:06:17,936 --> 00:06:20,437 Amazing job, you really got his voice down. 148 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:23,440 Okay, Homer, I think you've made your point. 149 00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:26,200 I'm sorry that you don't have enough things to get mad at. 150 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,111 I'm sorry that you all have skin 151 00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,280 thinner than gas station toilet paper. 152 00:06:30,298 --> 00:06:32,540 And I'm sorry that your lives are so boring 153 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,285 that you take a man who left his rescue dog 154 00:06:35,378 --> 00:06:38,212 for two minutes to buy him organic ice cream 155 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,715 from a woman-owned local business, 156 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,383 and you crucify him! 157 00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:43,476 - (glass shatters) - Ahh! 158 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,405 - (Devin yelps) - LENNY: Ow, my dog's eye! 159 00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:48,281 Mm-mm. 160 00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:53,328 ♪ ♪ 161 00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:01,074 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==- 162 00:07:07,335 --> 00:07:10,336 My fellow Springfielders, here at Burns Industries, 163 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:13,432 we release the hounds on all forms of disrespect, 164 00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:16,768 and to tolerance we say, "excellent." 165 00:07:16,995 --> 00:07:19,162 As such, we have terminated association 166 00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:20,939 with Homer J. Simpson, as his actions 167 00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:23,442 do not represent the values of Evil Corps. 168 00:07:23,518 --> 00:07:26,002 Moving forward, we plan to sit back, 169 00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:28,429 tent our fingers, and listen. 170 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,508 Well, Homer, on the plus side, this has made people forget 171 00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,452 - you almost killed the dog. - Oh... 172 00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:40,200 - (phone rings) - Yes, this is the residence 173 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,701 of the guy who pushed a pastor out of a church window. 174 00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:44,354 Uh-huh. And would you classify that as a death threat 175 00:07:44,372 --> 00:07:47,040 or merely an act of extreme violence? 176 00:07:47,192 --> 00:07:48,550 Thank you for your rage. 177 00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:50,802 Hm. 178 00:07:51,029 --> 00:07:52,212 Oh, Lovejoy's fine. 179 00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:54,956 But I lost my job and now that trolls put my photos 180 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,549 and phone number on the Internet, 181 00:07:56,702 --> 00:07:59,961 I also lost my anonon-nim-ninim-ninity. 182 00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:01,554 There's also a bunch of TikToks 183 00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:03,765 of people lip-syncing to what you said, 184 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,542 because that's what comedy is now. 185 00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,319 HOMER'S VOICE: I'm sorry that you all have skin 186 00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:09,896 thinner than gas station toilet paper. 187 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:13,307 Oh, I've never been so viciously lampooned. 188 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,568 I hate this horrible new world. 189 00:08:15,721 --> 00:08:18,555 What I need now is the comfort of fast food 190 00:08:18,573 --> 00:08:20,457 and slow friends. 191 00:08:21,893 --> 00:08:24,377 (gasping) 192 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,508 (exclaims) 193 00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:33,160 Three weeks later. 194 00:08:33,255 --> 00:08:35,496 ANNOUNCER: Shrimp? Who you calling shrimp? 195 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,773 It's prawn time, baby, 196 00:08:36,775 --> 00:08:39,092 at Dead Lobster's Annual Prawn-a-thon! 197 00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:41,836 Grab your bib for crispy popcorn prawn, 198 00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:45,081 wood-grilled prawn skewers sizzling prawn scampi, 199 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,933 and parmesan-breaded prawns casino 200 00:08:47,085 --> 00:08:49,194 served over ice cold lump prawn. 201 00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:53,122 All washed down with a tropical Tiki Passion Prawn-tini. 202 00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:54,274 (gasps) Guys! 203 00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:57,427 It's Prawn-a-thon time. Guys! 204 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,929 They wouldn't go without me, would they? 205 00:08:59,948 --> 00:09:01,414 (whimpers, gasps) 206 00:09:04,936 --> 00:09:05,935 (indistinct conversations) 207 00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:07,103 Oh my God, everybody, shut up. 208 00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:08,454 It's the pastor-pusher. 209 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,465 (all gasp) 210 00:09:12,535 --> 00:09:14,869 Well, I never. 211 00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:18,631 Why am I always meeting people who never? Mm. 212 00:09:18,784 --> 00:09:22,135 Hey, "strangers," enjoying your entrées of embarrassment 213 00:09:22,287 --> 00:09:23,728 about being related to me? 214 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,214 Don't take it personally. 215 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,976 We need to be able to do some normal family things 216 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,644 without being publicly shamed. 217 00:09:31,813 --> 00:09:35,965 We just want a little anon-mini-nanom-nini-ninity. 218 00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:37,634 But Prawn-a-thon? 219 00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,469 That's our special thon. 220 00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:41,896 I'm so upset I might not ever be able 221 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,582 to get my prawn on again. 222 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:47,160 Yikes. That has got to be the saddest thing 223 00:09:47,312 --> 00:09:49,236 ever said in a chain seafood restaurant. 224 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,980 It's not too late, Homer. 225 00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:52,148 I'm here to help you. 226 00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:53,483 Help me? Is this 227 00:09:53,576 --> 00:09:55,927 some kind of prank, like when those YouTubers 228 00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,837 chased me with real machetes? 229 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,006 Wow. And no. 230 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,507 I have created a refuge 231 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,102 where people like you can find redemption. 232 00:10:04,329 --> 00:10:07,421 I run an institute. We call it The Institute. 233 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:08,315 (gasps) 234 00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:11,351 And it might just be your last chance 235 00:10:11,503 --> 00:10:13,353 at rehabilitating your reputation. 236 00:10:13,505 --> 00:10:16,281 Wait, wait, are you saying you can steam clean, 237 00:10:16,508 --> 00:10:17,674 if you will, 238 00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,693 my husband's reputational carpet, if you will? 239 00:10:20,862 --> 00:10:24,105 I am, and I will. And I will. 240 00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:26,273 The Institute is his only hope. 241 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:30,128 Well, my reputation is everything to me. 242 00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:33,022 That doesn't jibe with your past behavior. 243 00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:36,042 I'm tired of reputations being about past behavior. 244 00:10:36,194 --> 00:10:39,304 I'll do it. Keep it safe. 245 00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:49,555 Here at the Institute, we break our rehabilitants up 246 00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:52,150 according to the severity of their mistakes. 247 00:10:52,377 --> 00:10:54,802 HOMER: Uh-huh. Yep. 248 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,546 That makes sense. 249 00:10:56,548 --> 00:10:57,714 Interesting. 250 00:10:57,732 --> 00:10:58,806 (chuckles) 251 00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,993 We don't take any Halloween mishaps more recent than that 252 00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:05,054 because, at a certain point, you should know better. 253 00:11:05,073 --> 00:11:06,239 Totally. 254 00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:07,740 Homer, meet your team. 255 00:11:07,893 --> 00:11:11,152 Just like you, they all went stupid viral in a bad way. 256 00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:14,839 First up, Helen Lovejoy, aka "Lemonade Karen." 257 00:11:14,916 --> 00:11:16,232 Let me see your permit. 258 00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:18,251 Where did you steal these lemons from? 259 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,512 I don't think you're even from this neighborhood. 260 00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:22,238 Siri, call 911. 261 00:11:22,331 --> 00:11:25,408 THEO: Councilman Jed Hawk, aka "The Toilet Rocker," 262 00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:28,261 who always forgets to turn off his camera and hit mute. 263 00:11:28,413 --> 00:11:30,355 ♪ She was a fast machine ♪ 264 00:11:30,432 --> 00:11:31,764 ♪ She kept her motor clean ♪ 265 00:11:31,917 --> 00:11:33,099 (scat singing) 266 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,085 ♪ American thighs ♪ 267 00:11:36,179 --> 00:11:37,362 - Oh, no. - (all gasp) 268 00:11:37,589 --> 00:11:40,681 THEO: Larry Doogan, aka "Pissed-O-Shorty." 269 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,275 He throws tantrums in public. 270 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,201 A lot. 271 00:11:43,428 --> 00:11:45,370 Oh sure, the club's at capacity 272 00:11:45,521 --> 00:11:47,038 as soon as the short guy shows up. 273 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:49,115 I get it, and I'm pissed-O! 274 00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:51,209 Oh, so you don't have any blueberry muffins left 275 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,379 for the short man? I'm pissed-O! 276 00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:56,606 I do... realize you only agreed 277 00:11:56,624 --> 00:11:58,608 to spend the rest of your life with me 278 00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:01,219 - because I'm short, and it's pissing-me-o! - (gasps) 279 00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:04,630 THEO: Kirk Van Houten, aka "Juice Box Dad." 280 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,633 Come on, Coach Loser, don't you want to win? 281 00:12:07,786 --> 00:12:11,471 Take... my son... Out... of the game! 282 00:12:11,623 --> 00:12:13,231 (sighs) 283 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,310 (laughs) Oh, yeah, I shared that. 284 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,795 Juice Box Dad. 285 00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:21,781 Wait, how am I supposed to revive my reputation 286 00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:23,316 associating with these scum? 287 00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:25,134 Watch who you're calling short. 288 00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:27,820 Whoa, somebody's pissed-O. 289 00:12:27,973 --> 00:12:29,230 Siri, call 911. 290 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,732 Look, everyone, let's just calm down. 291 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,902 Or what? You'll push us out a stained glass window? 292 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:38,572 Hey! That was just a careless accident born out of rage. 293 00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:41,501 (all clamoring) 294 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,262 Are we sure we have the right people for this team? 295 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,248 They're awful. 296 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,727 Which is why they're perfect for this mission. 297 00:12:59,019 --> 00:13:00,670 Here at the Institute, we believe 298 00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,280 good works overcome bad days. 299 00:13:02,507 --> 00:13:04,173 So, to fix your reputations, 300 00:13:04,175 --> 00:13:06,767 your team will be doing public acts of charity. 301 00:13:06,861 --> 00:13:08,194 When we post them online, 302 00:13:08,271 --> 00:13:10,622 they will make your transgressions a distant memory. 303 00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:12,015 Work together? 304 00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:14,959 Sorry, I don't exactly play well with others. 305 00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:16,352 Okay, then we'll spend the day 306 00:13:16,445 --> 00:13:18,538 doing a bunch of team-building improv exercises. 307 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,189 Good deeds! Good deeds! 308 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,469 ♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪ 309 00:13:24,696 --> 00:13:27,472 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 310 00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:29,048 ♪ I don't wanna do ♪ 311 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,475 ♪ Your dirty work ♪ 312 00:13:30,626 --> 00:13:34,370 ♪ No more ♪ 313 00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:37,206 ♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪ 314 00:13:37,225 --> 00:13:39,725 ♪ Oh, yeah. ♪ 315 00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:41,394 - (grunts) - (laughs) 316 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,213 I can feel my reputation being restored 317 00:13:44,232 --> 00:13:46,716 with each carefully-staged good deed. 318 00:13:46,809 --> 00:13:48,809 (people cackling) 319 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:52,313 Look, it's the people the Internet told us to hate. 320 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,574 (laughing) 321 00:13:54,726 --> 00:13:57,076 They still hate us. The plan isn't working. 322 00:13:57,228 --> 00:13:59,395 What do we do now? Call 911? 323 00:13:59,488 --> 00:14:01,322 Unfortunately, that was the only way 324 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,232 to get you your lives back. 325 00:14:03,251 --> 00:14:06,419 Well, there is one other way. No, we can't. 326 00:14:06,495 --> 00:14:09,238 - What? - No, it's too radical. 327 00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:13,076 Ah, but it's the only thing that's 100% guaranteed to work. 328 00:14:13,094 --> 00:14:15,261 Hmm, yeah, it does sound pretty radical. 329 00:14:15,338 --> 00:14:17,080 Thanks for being honest about that. 330 00:14:17,098 --> 00:14:18,931 Well, sometimes the only way to get results 331 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,583 is through radical action. 332 00:14:20,602 --> 00:14:22,602 Sorry, we took a vote. It's too radical. 333 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,511 Wh... I didn't even tell you what it is yet. 334 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,030 When you said "radical," you said enough. 335 00:14:26,182 --> 00:14:27,273 Bye forever. 336 00:14:27,425 --> 00:14:29,592 Look, I thought that by calling it radical, 337 00:14:29,611 --> 00:14:31,185 you'd be more likely to want to do it. 338 00:14:31,279 --> 00:14:33,096 Like you'd be intrigued or something. 339 00:14:33,189 --> 00:14:35,781 (gasps) Intrigued, eh? 340 00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:38,001 You are all here at The Institute... 341 00:14:39,287 --> 00:14:41,028 ...because of the humiliation you faced 342 00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:43,364 after the world saw you on your worst day. 343 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,531 (all shudder) 344 00:14:44,609 --> 00:14:46,459 But, what if you could delete all that 345 00:14:46,611 --> 00:14:50,037 from every computer, every phone, every meme, 346 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,057 and even every personal hard drive on Earth? 347 00:14:53,284 --> 00:14:54,450 But that's impossible. 348 00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:57,395 You'd have to invent something to do that. 349 00:14:57,546 --> 00:14:58,712 Funny you say that. I did 350 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,640 invent something to do that. 351 00:15:00,792 --> 00:15:03,234 A universal eradication code that can completely scrub 352 00:15:03,461 --> 00:15:06,312 any image or video from the entire Internet. 353 00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:08,239 Scrub us. You scrub us right now! 354 00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:10,983 Oh, I would, but first I need to upload the code 355 00:15:11,136 --> 00:15:12,635 into the one server powerful enough 356 00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:15,413 to reach every corner of the World Wide Web. 357 00:15:16,658 --> 00:15:17,731 ChumNet. 358 00:15:18,734 --> 00:15:20,810 You mean the company that puts those annoying 359 00:15:20,828 --> 00:15:24,163 clickbait-y headlines on the bottom of every website? 360 00:15:24,315 --> 00:15:26,132 Yes, they're everywhere. 361 00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:29,318 No platform has greater reach. 362 00:15:29,337 --> 00:15:31,320 But to upload the scrub code into their servers, 363 00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:35,158 I need you to break in to the ChumNet headquarters. 364 00:15:35,176 --> 00:15:37,343 Break in? That sounds dangerous. 365 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:38,585 It is, Helen. 366 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,271 That was the radical part I mentioned earlier, 367 00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:42,423 that didn't seem to land with any of you. 368 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,425 Radical, eh? 369 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,427 Yeah, we don't have anything to lose. 370 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,280 So, we're kind of like a suicide squad. 371 00:15:49,507 --> 00:15:52,358 You're exactly kind of like a suicide squad. 372 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,600 What do you say? 373 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,845 I think we can pull this-O. 374 00:15:55,863 --> 00:15:57,121 I say we do it. 375 00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,458 We need to fight for each other, because we're a family. 376 00:16:00,609 --> 00:16:01,684 ALL: Aw. 377 00:16:01,777 --> 00:16:04,203 A family I don't want or need. 378 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,872 I miss my actual family, so let's do this. 379 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,115 (all agree) 380 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,376 But if we're going on a commando mission, 381 00:16:10,453 --> 00:16:12,136 don't we need some sort of training? 382 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:13,620 (laughs) Don't you see? 383 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,290 You've already had some sort of training. 384 00:16:16,384 --> 00:16:20,627 ♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪ 385 00:16:20,722 --> 00:16:23,314 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 386 00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:27,543 ♪ I don't wanna do your dirty work ♪ 387 00:16:27,636 --> 00:16:29,562 ♪ No more ♪ 388 00:16:29,714 --> 00:16:34,033 ♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work. ♪ 389 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,161 We're in. 390 00:16:37,388 --> 00:16:39,055 Okay, just stay focused 391 00:16:39,148 --> 00:16:41,057 until you find the ChumNet server room. 392 00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:42,816 What about all the people in there? 393 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,461 There are no people. Just clickbait. 394 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,550 So whatever you do, don't stop to click on anything. 395 00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:06,599 (snorts) Who falls for this garbage anyway? 396 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,085 - Wait, what does she look like now? - (click) 397 00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:12,938 "80 NFL players who live in bad houses. 398 00:17:13,091 --> 00:17:14,440 Number six will shock you." (scoffs) 399 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,776 - Well, we'll see about that. - (click) 400 00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:18,110 "One simple trick to add 401 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,929 - years to your height." - (click) 402 00:17:20,022 --> 00:17:22,331 Whoa, these headlines are so tempting. 403 00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:27,937 No! We have to remember our goal. 404 00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:32,050 Erasing our shame and returning to our pre-pariah lives. (gasps) 405 00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:33,459 Oh, no. 406 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,554 They're all trapped in endless slow-loading slideshows. 407 00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:38,038 These houses suck. 408 00:17:38,132 --> 00:17:40,616 Sucks, sucks, sucks. 409 00:17:40,635 --> 00:17:43,061 (gasps) Number six. 410 00:17:43,137 --> 00:17:45,063 Homer, get them out now! 411 00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,232 - (alarm blaring) - (whimpering) 412 00:17:50,978 --> 00:17:52,962 I just wanted to know which vegetable 413 00:17:52,964 --> 00:17:54,814 gut doctors are begging me to throw out. 414 00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:58,409 It's radishes. I could have told you it was radishes! 415 00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:00,894 Find the server room, Homer, you'll be safe there. 416 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,414 This is prawn-demonium! 417 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,084 Ooh. 418 00:18:07,645 --> 00:18:10,254 THEO: Okay, straight ahead is the access port. 419 00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:12,072 Mm... 420 00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,482 Insert the flash drive. 421 00:18:13,543 --> 00:18:15,167 Once the scrub code is fully uploaded, 422 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,819 everything will be erased, 423 00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:19,913 and you will return to a life of anon-min-mity. 424 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,341 Anon-min, Amoni-mity. 425 00:18:22,493 --> 00:18:24,084 COMPUTER: It's "anonymity." 426 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:28,064 Preparing global Internet scrub for the following individuals. 427 00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:30,441 HOMER: There we are. 428 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,779 Wait, who are they? I recognize these people. 429 00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:36,172 They're really terrible. 430 00:18:36,265 --> 00:18:39,008 That guy raised the price of insulin for fun. 431 00:18:39,026 --> 00:18:40,693 I think that guy was just president, 432 00:18:40,845 --> 00:18:42,678 and those are his kids. 433 00:18:42,771 --> 00:18:44,104 And, oh, my God, 434 00:18:44,198 --> 00:18:47,291 that's the football coach that does all the cheating! 435 00:18:47,518 --> 00:18:49,368 Yes, Homer. All evidence of their misdeeds 436 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,686 will be erased too. 437 00:18:50,779 --> 00:18:51,704 But that's different. 438 00:18:51,856 --> 00:18:53,856 Those people did actual bad stuff. 439 00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:56,025 Wow, lot of Russian generals. 440 00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:58,302 COMPUTER: Upload at 60%. 441 00:18:58,454 --> 00:18:59,620 Jeebus crackers. 442 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,121 So the only way to save myself 443 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,790 is to erase the crimes of history's current monsters? 444 00:19:03,885 --> 00:19:05,201 Oh, wise up, Homer. 445 00:19:05,294 --> 00:19:07,645 Who do you think funded this entire operation? 446 00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:09,480 (gasps) Scrubbing these villains 447 00:19:09,632 --> 00:19:11,965 is what The Institute was always really about. 448 00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:12,984 What do I do? 449 00:19:13,211 --> 00:19:15,060 Wait, I never had a handkerchief. 450 00:19:15,213 --> 00:19:18,698 (gasps) Oh, this is the apology Lisa wrote for me. 451 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,141 The upload's nearly complete. 452 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,902 I can think of almost nothing at the last minute 453 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,053 that will stop us now. 454 00:19:24,222 --> 00:19:25,329 "It is with my family's support 455 00:19:25,481 --> 00:19:27,281 that I will strive to do the right thing." 456 00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:29,909 I will strive to do the right thing! 457 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,395 Homer, listen, you don't know what my investors 458 00:19:32,413 --> 00:19:34,655 are capable of doing to people who don't help them cover up 459 00:19:34,749 --> 00:19:36,399 what they're capable of doing. 460 00:19:36,492 --> 00:19:38,992 You don't know what I'm capable of doing. 461 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:43,055 Yoinking this doodad out of the computer hole. 462 00:19:43,758 --> 00:19:44,998 (grunts) 463 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,759 COMPUTER: Internet scrub cancelled. 464 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,577 Idiot! You ruined it! 465 00:19:48,671 --> 00:19:50,354 No, my daughter ruined it 466 00:19:50,506 --> 00:19:54,174 by writing the most genuine and inspirational apology ever. 467 00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:55,985 You should hear it. 468 00:19:57,104 --> 00:19:59,605 I'm Homer Simpson, and I'm truly sorry. 469 00:19:59,757 --> 00:20:01,348 Sorry, yet also grateful 470 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,608 for this opportunity... 471 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,276 MORGAN FREEMAN VOICE: In the annals of time, 472 00:20:04,429 --> 00:20:05,703 there have only been five 473 00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:07,705 truly great public apologies. 474 00:20:07,932 --> 00:20:10,099 But on that day, 475 00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:12,710 the words Lisa wrote, and Homer somehow read 476 00:20:12,861 --> 00:20:14,194 to everyone in the world, 477 00:20:14,288 --> 00:20:16,214 put those others to shame. 478 00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:18,107 It was deeply soul-searching 479 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,276 and 100% effective. 480 00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:23,279 Homer was forgiven by all 481 00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:25,872 and beloved forever. 482 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,558 WOMAN: You failed us. 483 00:20:27,785 --> 00:20:30,728 We're gonna do to you what we did to democracy: 484 00:20:30,955 --> 00:20:33,046 irreparable damage. 485 00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:34,957 The plan was too radical. 486 00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:38,127 Too radical! No, no, no! 487 00:20:38,145 --> 00:20:39,553 Radical... 488 00:20:39,647 --> 00:20:42,298 Radical! 489 00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:44,325 ♪ ♪ 490 00:20:50,657 --> 00:20:53,142 And because of all of you, from here forward, 491 00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:55,311 I will be the best Homer Simpson I can be. 492 00:20:55,404 --> 00:20:57,755 There you have it-- a reminder that we could all be 493 00:20:57,982 --> 00:21:00,699 a little more understanding of one another's humanity. 494 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:01,926 Up next, 495 00:21:02,077 --> 00:21:05,096 dumb idiot has heart attack on treadmill. 496 00:21:05,247 --> 00:21:07,914 Another plate of shrimp. J.K. 497 00:21:08,009 --> 00:21:08,991 It's prawns. 498 00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:11,418 (laughing) 499 00:21:11,512 --> 00:21:13,604 I should have listened to you all along. 500 00:21:13,831 --> 00:21:15,180 Yeah. Well, mostly, you just 501 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,016 shouldn't have left the dog in the car. 502 00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:19,443 Yeah, agree to disagree. 503 00:21:19,595 --> 00:21:21,762 But he and I have an arrangement. 504 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,781 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 505 00:21:23,932 --> 00:21:26,175 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 506 00:21:26,268 --> 00:21:28,935 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 507 00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:30,496 Shh! 508 00:21:34,018 --> 00:21:36,127 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 508 00:21:37,305 --> 00:22:37,619 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 37722

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