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1
00:00:03,330 --> 00:00:05,896
Okay, I'm gonna say
that you like water sports,
2
00:00:05,980 --> 00:00:07,586
because that'll make you
10% more attractive.
3
00:00:07,670 --> 00:00:09,496
This is dumb. I don't need to be
on a dating app.
4
00:00:09,580 --> 00:00:11,406
This is a great place
to meet people.
5
00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:13,486
I helped a very nice woman
to her car the other night.
6
00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:15,406
Oh, no, we know.
The banana hoarderer.
7
00:00:15,490 --> 00:00:17,746
It's "hoarder."
Okay, we get it.
8
00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:19,176
You went to med school,
alright?
9
00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:21,676
Well, yes, that is the woman
I'm talking about,
10
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,346
and... fine.
11
00:00:23,430 --> 00:00:25,266
Say I like water sports.
I just Googled "water sports."
12
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:26,676
I think it means something
different on the apps.
13
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,346
Ugh. Okay, we're gonna
do the profile picture now.
14
00:00:28,430 --> 00:00:29,586
Yeah. Thanks.
15
00:00:29,670 --> 00:00:32,190
Now? Yeah. Let's
lead with the boobs.
16
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:34,926
What? I can't believe
you're doing this.
17
00:00:35,010 --> 00:00:35,946
What's happening?
Ugh.
18
00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:37,240
Read 'em and weep.
Let's go.
19
00:00:37,940 --> 00:00:39,506
Huh.
Ooh.
20
00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:40,606
Now, what is that?
21
00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:42,956
Is that a nursing bra?
22
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,436
It's my work bra!
23
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,366
It's got support in the front
for lifting.
24
00:00:46,450 --> 00:00:48,276
Oh, okay.
So if you don't want someone
25
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,366
with a moving truck,
you're gonna wanna ditch that.
26
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:52,376
Here, I've got something
that'll make them pop.
27
00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:54,696
It's Tuesday "sex night"
with Dan, and, you know.
28
00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:56,466
This is the only time
it's gonna come off, so...
29
00:00:56,550 --> 00:00:57,786
Oh.
30
00:00:57,870 --> 00:00:59,976
I'll be right here,
just waiting.
31
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,036
Here you go.
No, no, no, no, no.
32
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,196
That doesn't go
with those pants.
33
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,716
I don't wear underwear
in these, so...
34
00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:11,706
♪ Hey! ♪
35
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,896
Guys, there's no one
worth dating on these apps.
36
00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:17,376
It's like online shopping,
37
00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:19,306
but there's nothing
in my size or style.
38
00:01:19,390 --> 00:01:21,406
Well,
at least you're bi.
39
00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:24,316
I mean, imagine if you had
to choose from only the men.
40
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,146
Wait a minute. Does that say
"Good Vibes Only"?
41
00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:28,226
Oh, God.
That's not very inclusive.
42
00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:29,420
Oh, okay. Here.
43
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,076
Here's someone who doesn't
completely make me sick.
44
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,226
Oh, yeah.
45
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,836
You two would have
very attractive sex.
46
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:35,846
- Right?
- Hang on.
47
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,156
Does that say
Merrick Skateway?
48
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:39,516
Look at her background.
49
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,846
It is.
50
00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:43,236
She's wearing the uniform.
She works there.
51
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,076
We have to go
check her out.
52
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,076
And we can skate!
Amy, we can take our kids.
53
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,510
It would be so fun.
54
00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:50,526
I was gonna bring them to that
booger-infested playground
55
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,176
at the mall, but no,
I guess this is a step up.
56
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:55,266
Guys, I don't even want to be
dating,
57
00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:57,346
much less have you as
my wingmen with your children.
58
00:01:57,430 --> 00:01:59,176
Mm. But you are never
gonna find happiness
59
00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:00,696
if you don't
put yourself out there.
60
00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:02,926
It's all about
manifesting joy.
61
00:02:03,010 --> 00:02:04,616
Or so says O Magazine.
62
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,376
Oh, crap on a stick.
63
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,946
It's a mother
from Luke's school.
64
00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:10,446
Hide me, please.
65
00:02:12,190 --> 00:02:14,776
Oh, excuse me.
Did she just avoid me?
66
00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:16,216
The nerve!
67
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:19,456
Hi!
I thought that was you!
68
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,386
It's me.
69
00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:26,376
I just want to say
I'm sorry
70
00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:29,466
Luke wasn't invited
to Dylan's party.
71
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,896
I didn't... I didn't know
that he had a p...
72
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:33,546
There was a party.
Yeah.
73
00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:36,956
It's just that we're encouraging
Dylan to be more authentic,
74
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,316
and he doesn't feel like he
and Luke have a lot in common,
75
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,076
so it would be inauthentic
to pretend they're friends.
76
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:47,806
Dylan likes animals,
but not all the time.
77
00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:49,566
Yeah, right.
No, of course.
78
00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:52,146
Um, we're...
We're all grown-ups here, so...
79
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,816
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No big deal.
80
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:55,996
Oh, one thing, um...
81
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,906
I want you to know
that I avoided you first.
82
00:02:58,990 --> 00:03:00,576
Okay, Dylan's Mom?
83
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:05,836
Luke isn't getting invited
to birthday parties now.
84
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,156
I mean, what is that?
85
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,916
When we were kids,
we were taught to be nice.
86
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,166
Everyone was invited,
even the losers.
87
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,696
And we got a lifelong friendship
out of it.
88
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:15,346
Yes! Who... Wait.
Who are you talking about?
89
00:03:15,430 --> 00:03:17,946
Hey, hey, hey.
You got a foot in the door.
90
00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:19,776
Let's all just be grateful.
91
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,286
Can I have one
of the new Popsicles?
92
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:28,436
Depends.
93
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,606
Who's the best mom
in the whole world?
94
00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:31,696
You are!
95
00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:32,866
Grocery shopping
96
00:03:32,950 --> 00:03:34,686
is so much more fun
when you come with...
97
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:39,536
Hi.
98
00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:41,471
Hey, Jodie.
99
00:03:41,556 --> 00:03:43,617
Uh, I read that Oprah article
you told me about.
100
00:03:43,702 --> 00:03:44,768
It is awesome.
101
00:03:44,853 --> 00:03:46,421
Isn't Oprah the best?
102
00:03:46,506 --> 00:03:47,682
Mommy!
I want a Popsicle!
103
00:03:47,932 --> 00:03:49,088
Yeah, totally.
104
00:03:49,172 --> 00:03:53,368
Um, hey, so, I am working
on manifesting my joy,
105
00:03:53,452 --> 00:03:56,688
and there's something
that I wanted to ask you about,
106
00:03:56,772 --> 00:03:58,438
but, um...
107
00:03:58,522 --> 00:04:01,358
kind of worried that
it might be inappropriate.
108
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,618
You can talk to me
about anything.
109
00:04:02,702 --> 00:04:05,438
Mommy, I want Popsicles!
110
00:04:05,522 --> 00:04:06,912
I want Pop...
111
00:04:07,952 --> 00:04:10,218
Go get it!
Sorry, that wasn't to you.
112
00:04:11,532 --> 00:04:13,058
Oh, man, the gym would kill me
if they knew
113
00:04:13,142 --> 00:04:14,888
I was asking
a client this.
114
00:04:14,972 --> 00:04:18,138
Can you give me advice on
starting my own fitness company?
115
00:04:18,222 --> 00:04:19,968
Oh.
116
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:22,141
But it's gonna be more
than a company, you know?
117
00:04:22,226 --> 00:04:24,482
It's gonna be
a-a fitness empire...
118
00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:28,010
Classes, supplements,
sleeveless T-shirts, you know?
119
00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:30,401
That all sounds great,
but why do you think I can help?
120
00:04:30,486 --> 00:04:32,162
Well, I mean, you used
to work at a bank.
121
00:04:32,268 --> 00:04:34,264
You understand money
and business.
122
00:04:34,349 --> 00:04:37,205
Plus, I've seen you use
the Reminders app on your phone,
123
00:04:37,289 --> 00:04:39,285
and that is awesome.
124
00:04:39,369 --> 00:04:40,765
Yeah,
I'm pretty awesome.
125
00:04:40,849 --> 00:04:42,695
Have you ever considered
taking some business courses
126
00:04:42,779 --> 00:04:45,365
at Nassau
Community College?
127
00:04:45,449 --> 00:04:46,945
I knew you would
have the answer.
128
00:04:47,029 --> 00:04:50,115
You always have the answer.
You are such a real grown-up.
129
00:04:50,199 --> 00:04:52,285
Oh, shoot.
I gotta go.
130
00:04:52,369 --> 00:04:55,305
Um, I got a client, but I will
talk to you later, okay?
131
00:04:55,389 --> 00:04:56,455
Thank you so much.
132
00:04:56,539 --> 00:04:57,465
Really, it was nothing.
133
00:04:57,549 --> 00:04:59,229
Alright, bye.
134
00:05:00,819 --> 00:05:03,065
Oy.
135
00:05:05,049 --> 00:05:07,055
Don't tell your brother
you licked those.
136
00:05:07,139 --> 00:05:09,135
They're tonight's dessert.
137
00:05:09,219 --> 00:05:11,055
Mommy's home.
138
00:05:11,139 --> 00:05:12,225
Hi, Mommy.
Hi, Mommy.
139
00:05:12,309 --> 00:05:15,065
Ooh, look, Julia.
That's your mommy, remember?
140
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:18,575
Okay, I think she knows
who I am, Gloria.
141
00:05:18,909 --> 00:05:21,905
You're home early. Yeah, a guy
fell off the scaffolding at the site.
142
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,665
He'll be fine, but we're
pretending he won't, so half day.
143
00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:26,595
Hey, Luke, guess what.
144
00:05:26,679 --> 00:05:29,595
You and I are gonna go
to the roller rink right now.
145
00:05:29,679 --> 00:05:33,095
But I want to work on this
700-piece puzzle
146
00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:35,495
of an African Bear.
147
00:05:35,579 --> 00:05:37,005
Mm-hmm, okay, okay.
So here's the thing.
148
00:05:37,089 --> 00:05:39,495
We're gonna have a little chat
right now, okay?
149
00:05:39,579 --> 00:05:40,825
Alright, I'm gonna
shoot you straight.
150
00:05:40,909 --> 00:05:42,255
It's time to broaden
our horizons.
151
00:05:42,339 --> 00:05:45,105
I mean, the animal stuff,
it's very cool, but it's a lot,
152
00:05:45,189 --> 00:05:47,425
and I think it alienates
the other kids.
153
00:05:47,509 --> 00:05:49,265
And plus, you can't go
drinking in college
154
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:49,945
with African Bears,
right?
155
00:05:50,029 --> 00:05:51,445
Of course you can't.
156
00:05:51,529 --> 00:05:54,695
African Bears have been extinct
for thousands of years.
157
00:05:54,779 --> 00:05:55,845
Yeah, Mommy.
158
00:05:55,929 --> 00:05:59,435
Okay, I need you
to try to be cool, okay?
159
00:05:59,519 --> 00:06:00,795
I am begging you.
160
00:06:00,879 --> 00:06:02,605
I know you love
spending time with me,
161
00:06:02,689 --> 00:06:04,205
but it would mean a lot
to your mom
162
00:06:04,289 --> 00:06:05,535
if you went
roller skating.
163
00:06:05,619 --> 00:06:06,965
We'll do
the puzzle tomorrow.
164
00:06:07,049 --> 00:06:08,115
Okay, Gloria.
165
00:06:08,199 --> 00:06:09,549
Doing a great job,
buddy.
166
00:06:10,778 --> 00:06:12,134
I don't know
what the problem is.
167
00:06:12,219 --> 00:06:13,459
He's a perfect
little angel.
168
00:06:13,566 --> 00:06:16,202
He's not getting invited
to birthday parties, Gloria.
169
00:06:16,403 --> 00:06:17,403
It's their loss.
170
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,795
Okay, we have to
fire Gloria.
171
00:06:22,879 --> 00:06:24,315
She's way too supportive
of Luke.
172
00:06:24,399 --> 00:06:26,295
We need someone
more shame-y.
173
00:06:26,379 --> 00:06:27,485
I think you got
that covered.
174
00:06:27,569 --> 00:06:29,315
What are you doing?
I'm trying to fix him, okay?
175
00:06:29,399 --> 00:06:30,875
This is all your fault.
176
00:06:30,959 --> 00:06:32,975
He gets the whole animal
obsession thing from you.
177
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,235
I'm not obsessed.
178
00:06:34,319 --> 00:06:35,555
I just like them
and know everything about them.
179
00:06:35,639 --> 00:06:37,065
Plus, I got invited to plenty
of birthday parties.
180
00:06:37,149 --> 00:06:38,995
It's because you've been
handsome since birth.
181
00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:41,665
Yes, but also 'cause
I was so good at magic.
182
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:44,555
You keep that to yourself. Okay.
183
00:06:44,639 --> 00:06:47,225
Look, I was Luke's age
when I met Coleen.
184
00:06:47,309 --> 00:06:49,565
He's not even gonna have
a dead friend to mourn.
185
00:06:49,649 --> 00:06:50,995
Don't worry, I'm sure
something tragic
186
00:06:51,079 --> 00:06:52,495
will happen to
someone he loves.
187
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,345
Oh, God. I hope so.
I don't...
188
00:06:54,429 --> 00:06:55,665
Okay,
I'm not taking Julia,
189
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,425
so since you're home,
thank you.
190
00:06:57,509 --> 00:06:59,245
Why can't we ask Gloria
to stay?
191
00:06:59,329 --> 00:07:02,015
Because I'm home.
Obviously.
192
00:07:02,099 --> 00:07:03,765
That's...
Luke!
193
00:07:03,849 --> 00:07:06,525
You guys!
194
00:07:06,609 --> 00:07:07,915
After all these years,
195
00:07:07,999 --> 00:07:09,605
it still smells like pound cake
in here.
196
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:10,695
Aw, Jodie.
197
00:07:10,779 --> 00:07:13,425
That's old skate sweat
and carpet fungus.
198
00:07:13,509 --> 00:07:14,515
That is what that is.
199
00:07:14,599 --> 00:07:16,095
Guys, do you remember
Couples Skate?
200
00:07:16,179 --> 00:07:17,425
It was so hard to skate
201
00:07:17,509 --> 00:07:19,015
and make out at the same time,
but we did it.
202
00:07:19,099 --> 00:07:19,945
It was!
203
00:07:20,029 --> 00:07:21,185
We managed to do it.
Yeah, I didn't.
204
00:07:21,269 --> 00:07:22,765
That was my cue to hit
the concession stand.
205
00:07:22,849 --> 00:07:24,615
I used to use the licorice rope
as a microphone and lip-sync
206
00:07:24,699 --> 00:07:26,455
to all of the slow songs,
and then I'd eat it.
207
00:07:26,539 --> 00:07:28,375
Oh, my God.
It's still here.
208
00:07:28,459 --> 00:07:30,525
It's still here!
I was so popular.
209
00:07:30,609 --> 00:07:32,295
Luke really does get it
from Henry.
210
00:07:32,379 --> 00:07:33,455
I mean, I can't believe
Evan and Nora
211
00:07:33,539 --> 00:07:36,275
didn't want to come with,
but their loss.
212
00:07:36,359 --> 00:07:37,625
I mean, can't you just
force them to do things
213
00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:39,135
until they're big enough
to overpower you?
214
00:07:39,219 --> 00:07:40,375
Oh, no.
They're very strong
215
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:41,465
from all the karate
they end up quitting.
216
00:07:41,549 --> 00:07:42,895
Oh. I mean, did anyone
really like skating?
217
00:07:42,979 --> 00:07:44,565
I feel like it was just
the place to be.
218
00:07:44,649 --> 00:07:47,955
Only the losers, like,
liked skating. True.
219
00:07:48,039 --> 00:07:50,795
Mom,
skating looks awesome!
220
00:07:50,879 --> 00:07:53,645
Aww, of course
you think so, buddy.
221
00:07:53,729 --> 00:07:55,555
Guys, guys, guys.
There's Seema.
222
00:07:55,639 --> 00:07:58,465
Okay, go rent skates,
check her out first,
223
00:07:58,549 --> 00:07:59,805
see if she'll murder me
in my sleep
224
00:07:59,889 --> 00:08:02,485
or if she's hot enough
to make it worth it, okay?
225
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,805
Come on, Mom!
Let's get skates now!
226
00:08:04,889 --> 00:08:06,155
Yes, yes.
Go get skates.
227
00:08:06,239 --> 00:08:07,805
And, Luke,
when you're there,
228
00:08:07,889 --> 00:08:09,565
find out if the lady
behind the counter
229
00:08:09,649 --> 00:08:11,235
has a lower back tattoo.
230
00:08:11,319 --> 00:08:12,495
Okay!
Okay.
231
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:13,335
Yeah, that is a
deal-breaker. Great kid.
232
00:08:13,419 --> 00:08:14,419
He's... He's okay.
233
00:08:24,189 --> 00:08:25,755
Whoa.
234
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,159
This must be what baby penguins
feel like
235
00:08:28,244 --> 00:08:31,080
as they find their footing
for the first time.
236
00:08:31,164 --> 00:08:34,660
Or how a little boy feels
when he first learns to skate,
237
00:08:34,744 --> 00:08:38,090
is a more normal way
to say it.
238
00:08:38,174 --> 00:08:40,410
Hey, Luke.
You get my intel?
239
00:08:40,494 --> 00:08:42,090
Nope.
Nope?
240
00:08:42,174 --> 00:08:43,994
How was Seema?
Was she terrible?
241
00:08:44,073 --> 00:08:45,399
She was terrible.
I knew she'd be terrible.
242
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,919
Let's go.
No, she was nice.
243
00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,009
Super friendly.
244
00:08:48,093 --> 00:08:49,849
That's worse than terrible.
It's boring.
245
00:08:49,933 --> 00:08:52,679
God, you're ridiculous.
Just go talk to her.
246
00:08:52,763 --> 00:08:54,189
It's a first date
at a roller rink.
247
00:08:54,273 --> 00:08:56,579
There's no place for
this relationship to go but up.
248
00:08:56,663 --> 00:08:58,359
True.
How do I look?
249
00:08:58,443 --> 00:09:00,009
Good. Oh, wait.
You've got a...
250
00:09:00,093 --> 00:09:01,099
Actually...
251
00:09:01,183 --> 00:09:04,699
Oh, my God.
O-Okay. Ahh! Huh.
252
00:09:04,783 --> 00:09:06,769
Hopefully I dry off
before I get there.
253
00:09:06,853 --> 00:09:08,109
Thank you.
So pretty.
254
00:09:08,193 --> 00:09:09,869
So pretty.
255
00:09:09,953 --> 00:09:11,429
Hey, ready to hit the rink
with me?
256
00:09:11,513 --> 00:09:12,599
Nope, definitely not.
257
00:09:12,683 --> 00:09:13,369
These skates were
just for optics.
258
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,449
Cool.
I can manifest my own joy.
259
00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:16,779
It's gonna be
the old routine...
260
00:09:16,863 --> 00:09:19,221
Skate, Pac-Man, slushy,
repeat.
261
00:09:19,306 --> 00:09:22,152
Jodie, um, you know that
if you didn't let me
262
00:09:22,237 --> 00:09:23,473
cheat off you
when we were younger,
263
00:09:23,557 --> 00:09:25,413
we probably wouldn't
be friends, right?
264
00:09:25,497 --> 00:09:27,413
You're funny.
265
00:09:27,497 --> 00:09:29,083
Oh.
Oh.
266
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:30,903
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
267
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,163
I'll save it
for when they play ABBA.
268
00:09:35,397 --> 00:09:36,653
Bye, Mom!
269
00:09:39,657 --> 00:09:43,263
You must love that... putting
smiles on their little faces.
270
00:09:43,347 --> 00:09:46,843
Uh, truthfully, not really
a big fan of kids.
271
00:09:46,927 --> 00:09:48,343
Oh, I can't stand them.
272
00:09:48,427 --> 00:09:50,923
Dirty little germ buckets,
am I right?
273
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:54,143
Do you have a pair
of unused skates?
274
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,503
Uh, men's size 4
haven't been touched.
275
00:09:56,587 --> 00:09:59,113
Even the guys with that size
will lie and ask for a 10.
276
00:09:59,197 --> 00:10:00,453
Right.
277
00:10:00,537 --> 00:10:03,343
Um, full disclosure, I-I'm
actually not here to skate.
278
00:10:03,427 --> 00:10:06,363
Um, I saw your profile
on my dating app,
279
00:10:06,447 --> 00:10:08,863
and I dragged my friends down
here to check you out first.
280
00:10:08,947 --> 00:10:11,363
Is... Is that weird?
Pretty weird.
281
00:10:11,447 --> 00:10:13,273
Too weird?
282
00:10:13,357 --> 00:10:15,533
I get it.
Everyone's fake on the apps.
283
00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:18,453
So I take it your friends
approved of me, then?
284
00:10:18,537 --> 00:10:21,363
They were pretty useless,
um, but, you know,
285
00:10:21,447 --> 00:10:23,803
I took a leap of faith,
and so far you don't disappoint.
286
00:10:23,887 --> 00:10:26,643
Um, but it is still early.
I haven't seen you chew.
287
00:10:28,207 --> 00:10:30,963
Then, uh, I guess
we should hang out.
288
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,313
I have two bottles
of strawberry wine
289
00:10:32,397 --> 00:10:34,463
I confiscated
from some teenagers.
290
00:10:34,547 --> 00:10:37,483
Wanna get hammered
and, uh, hit the rink?
291
00:10:37,567 --> 00:10:40,883
Break out
the men's size 4.
292
00:10:45,637 --> 00:10:47,643
What up, skaters?
293
00:10:47,727 --> 00:10:50,243
It's time to limbo!
294
00:10:50,327 --> 00:10:52,653
Limbo!
295
00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:54,003
Whoo!
296
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:58,243
How low can she go?
297
00:10:58,327 --> 00:10:59,673
Nice one!
298
00:11:03,507 --> 00:11:06,513
Come on,
our next lucky limbo skater!
299
00:11:06,597 --> 00:11:09,243
This does not bring me joy.
300
00:11:09,327 --> 00:11:12,263
Well, did you preheat
the oven, Dan?
301
00:11:12,347 --> 00:11:15,193
Yes, well, that's why
the pizza's cold in the middle.
302
00:11:27,197 --> 00:11:30,957
Oh, I'm having major flashbacks
of you during Couples Skate.
303
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:35,693
At least back then I still had
hope things would get better.
304
00:11:35,777 --> 00:11:37,623
Could still cling
to my dreams
305
00:11:37,707 --> 00:11:41,883
of a husband and kids
and a house.
306
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:45,383
You got all that.
307
00:11:45,467 --> 00:11:48,703
It's not how I imagined.
308
00:11:48,787 --> 00:11:51,113
I wanted
the fairytale version.
309
00:11:51,197 --> 00:11:53,783
I wanted my life to feel
like "Pretty in Pink."
310
00:11:53,867 --> 00:11:54,953
Oh, my God.
No, you didn't.
311
00:11:55,037 --> 00:11:56,473
First of all,
that dress was a disaster.
312
00:11:56,557 --> 00:11:58,143
Redheads
should not wear pink.
313
00:11:58,227 --> 00:11:59,643
Who said
she could wear that?
314
00:11:59,727 --> 00:12:01,233
I'm saying it.
She made that dress.
315
00:12:01,317 --> 00:12:03,383
Yeah.
It looked like a potato sack.
316
00:12:03,467 --> 00:12:06,483
Okay, clearly,
you don't get it.
317
00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:09,563
I can't manifest joy.
318
00:12:09,647 --> 00:12:11,743
Nothing ever changes.
319
00:12:11,827 --> 00:12:13,413
Nothing ever changes.
320
00:12:13,497 --> 00:12:14,913
Nothing ever changes.
321
00:12:14,997 --> 00:12:16,253
I want to skate with Matt.
That'll never happen.
322
00:12:16,337 --> 00:12:18,163
That's just another
dumb fantasy.
323
00:12:18,247 --> 00:12:19,923
If they don't sell
licorice rope,
324
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,743
I am burning
this place down.
325
00:12:21,827 --> 00:12:22,983
Ooh.
326
00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:25,423
Exciting.
327
00:12:25,507 --> 00:12:26,673
Oh.
328
00:12:26,757 --> 00:12:27,983
♪ Ooo ♪
329
00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:29,413
♪ I just wanna get away ♪
330
00:12:29,497 --> 00:12:31,243
Mom, look!
331
00:12:31,327 --> 00:12:34,513
I'm so fast, I'm like
a peregrine falcon.
332
00:12:34,597 --> 00:12:35,833
Oh, that's great, Luke.
333
00:12:35,917 --> 00:12:38,923
Maybe just reel it
in a little bit, buddy.
334
00:12:39,007 --> 00:12:40,183
♪ Ooo ♪
335
00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:42,833
♪ We could find a better place ♪
336
00:12:46,757 --> 00:12:48,173
♪ Ooo ♪
337
00:12:48,257 --> 00:12:50,623
♪ We could find a better place ♪
338
00:12:52,927 --> 00:12:55,853
Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
339
00:12:55,937 --> 00:12:56,953
Hey, girls.
340
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:59,613
Hey.
Where do you get off?
341
00:12:59,697 --> 00:13:01,353
I bet you don't even know
what a peregrine falcon is.
342
00:13:01,437 --> 00:13:04,113
You want to know why?
'Cause you're basic.
343
00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:06,043
Whatever.
344
00:13:06,127 --> 00:13:07,523
♪ We could find a better place ♪
345
00:13:07,607 --> 00:13:09,383
♪ Better, better, better ♪
Flap away, Luke.
346
00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:11,143
Flap your little heart out,
buddy.
347
00:13:11,227 --> 00:13:13,383
Flap your little heart out.
Go.
348
00:13:13,467 --> 00:13:14,963
Yeah.
349
00:13:19,787 --> 00:13:22,683
Okay, alright.
This seems like...
350
00:13:22,767 --> 00:13:24,213
Oof.
Oh, God.
351
00:13:24,297 --> 00:13:26,063
This is really wedged
in there. Right?
352
00:13:26,147 --> 00:13:27,563
I think it might just be
a part of you now.
353
00:13:27,647 --> 00:13:29,563
Um, your profile said
you worked out,
354
00:13:29,647 --> 00:13:31,493
so give it a go.
355
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,403
Okay.
Okay.
356
00:13:35,657 --> 00:13:37,243
Oh!
357
00:13:40,397 --> 00:13:41,913
Oh, my gosh.
Ahh.
358
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,343
You know, you should really
get this checked out.
359
00:13:46,427 --> 00:13:51,683
It looks like an asymmetrical
melanocytic nevus.
360
00:13:51,767 --> 00:13:54,243
It's got some concerning
discoloration to it, as well.
361
00:13:54,327 --> 00:13:55,913
Geez, you sound like
a doctor.
362
00:13:55,997 --> 00:13:58,413
Oh, I was. I mean,
before I was a bagger.
363
00:13:58,497 --> 00:14:00,503
I didn't kill anyone.
It... It was a choice.
364
00:14:00,587 --> 00:14:01,853
Wow.
365
00:14:01,937 --> 00:14:04,363
Wow, wow.
366
00:14:04,447 --> 00:14:06,103
It's been
12 whole minutes
367
00:14:06,187 --> 00:14:07,863
and you had to stick it
in there
368
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:08,923
that you're a doctor.
369
00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:10,103
Oh, I'm... N-No.
370
00:14:10,187 --> 00:14:11,753
It's just because I saw
something, you know,
371
00:14:11,837 --> 00:14:13,683
possibly pre-cancerous
on your face.
372
00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:15,773
No, it was important
for you
373
00:14:15,857 --> 00:14:17,523
that I know
you're not just a bagger.
374
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:21,193
And clearly, you just had
to rub it in my face.
375
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:24,083
I think you might have
an inferiority complex.
376
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:26,213
Oh, so you're
a psychologist now, too?
377
00:14:26,297 --> 00:14:27,943
Oh, no.
I was a real doctor.
378
00:14:28,027 --> 00:14:29,463
Wow.
379
00:14:29,547 --> 00:14:32,123
I think we're done here.
I'm gonna get your shoes.
380
00:14:32,207 --> 00:14:33,203
Okay.
381
00:14:33,287 --> 00:14:35,223
Because I'm just
a shoe person.
382
00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:38,057
Mm, not a very good one.
These aren't mine.
383
00:14:39,307 --> 00:14:41,557
Wow.
384
00:14:42,217 --> 00:14:43,623
Yeah, right there.
385
00:14:43,707 --> 00:14:47,383
Hey, everybody. We got
the reverse-skate coming up.
386
00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:49,733
Uhhhh... Hi.
387
00:14:49,817 --> 00:14:51,313
You can't talk to my kid
like that!
388
00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:52,963
Oh, God.
I talk to all kids like that.
389
00:14:53,047 --> 00:14:55,223
Plus, it was your kid
who insulted my weird son,
390
00:14:55,307 --> 00:14:57,737
so if anyone deserves
an apology, it's me.
391
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,803
Oh, God. I don't like
where this is going!
392
00:14:59,887 --> 00:15:02,143
Brace yourselves,
party people!
393
00:15:02,227 --> 00:15:06,233
Okay, go over here.
It's time to... rewind!
394
00:15:06,317 --> 00:15:08,923
Re... What?
Oh, my God.
395
00:15:09,007 --> 00:15:10,573
Oh, my God.
Ahh!
396
00:15:10,657 --> 00:15:11,573
Okay, I'm sorry!
397
00:15:20,167 --> 00:15:25,683
And we're going to get
kicked out, just like always.
398
00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:27,273
Okay, okay, look.
I'm sorry.
399
00:15:27,357 --> 00:15:28,773
Your daughter's
really great!
400
00:15:28,857 --> 00:15:30,173
This is all
my husband's fault.
401
00:15:30,257 --> 00:15:31,673
He is the one
that you want!
402
00:15:31,757 --> 00:15:33,003
Amy, grab on!
403
00:15:33,087 --> 00:15:34,763
Oh, my God,
you saved me!
404
00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:35,783
You feel so thin.
405
00:15:35,867 --> 00:15:37,673
Oh! Matt has me doing
burpees.
406
00:15:37,757 --> 00:15:39,843
Clearly
the gym sparks joy.
407
00:15:39,927 --> 00:15:41,683
Oh, my... Excuse me.
408
00:15:41,767 --> 00:15:44,273
We started a conga line!
409
00:15:44,357 --> 00:15:47,533
No! Get off! Get off!
I'm not into this.
410
00:15:47,617 --> 00:15:48,783
Aw, you're no fun.
411
00:15:48,867 --> 00:15:51,283
Oh, my God, you really are
a good skater.
412
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,803
I know.
You know what, though?
413
00:15:52,887 --> 00:15:55,043
I was never really good
at stopping, so, uh...
414
00:15:55,127 --> 00:15:56,133
Wait, what do you mean?
Yeah.
415
00:15:56,217 --> 00:15:58,973
Save yourself.
Oh, my God!
416
00:15:59,057 --> 00:16:00,053
Ugh!
417
00:16:00,137 --> 00:16:01,637
This day just keeps
getting better.
418
00:16:02,877 --> 00:16:04,873
Oh, God.
Are you okay, Mommy?
419
00:16:04,957 --> 00:16:06,313
Yeah, no.
I meant to do all that.
420
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:13,213
That's right, keep skating,
or my mom will attack you
421
00:16:13,297 --> 00:16:15,993
like a red-tailed hawk
eats a rabbit!
422
00:16:16,077 --> 00:16:18,163
Yeah!
Raarrr!
423
00:16:18,247 --> 00:16:20,643
Oh. That's not
what they sound like.
424
00:16:20,727 --> 00:16:21,813
Okay, you need to
work with me
425
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:24,725
a little bit here,
okay, buddy?
426
00:16:26,529 --> 00:16:28,695
♪ Yeah, let's celebrate ♪
427
00:16:28,990 --> 00:16:30,836
You sure you gave me
your shoes?
428
00:16:30,921 --> 00:16:32,701
Well, I didn't come
in socks.
429
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,365
Wow.
430
00:16:34,723 --> 00:16:36,424
Hey.
Hey, guys. Let's go.
431
00:16:36,509 --> 00:16:37,973
Forget about your shoes.
You're never gonna find them.
432
00:16:38,057 --> 00:16:38,893
Oh.
433
00:16:38,977 --> 00:16:40,477
They can't leave
with their skates.
434
00:16:40,627 --> 00:16:42,733
Well, thanks to you, they also
can't leave with their shoes.
435
00:16:42,817 --> 00:16:43,813
Good luck
with your face.
436
00:16:43,897 --> 00:16:45,903
♪ It's time to laugh, to love ♪
437
00:16:45,987 --> 00:16:48,088
- ♪ To let it all go ♪
- I hate you guys for making me date.
438
00:16:48,158 --> 00:16:50,854
I feel like that's on Diana
for blowing up your marriage.
439
00:16:50,938 --> 00:16:53,764
Meh. Mating for life
is overrated.
440
00:16:53,848 --> 00:16:55,414
No, I think I need to lock
something down
441
00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:57,524
while I'm still hot.
442
00:16:57,608 --> 00:16:59,604
Luke. Luke!
443
00:16:59,688 --> 00:17:01,274
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
444
00:17:01,358 --> 00:17:03,764
Time to fly the coop,
baby bird.
445
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,274
Own it. Own it, baby bird.
You got this.
446
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:07,784
♪ Yeah, let's do this ♪
447
00:17:07,868 --> 00:17:12,874
♪ We're gonna have a
party, gonna celebrate ♪ Aww.
448
00:17:17,128 --> 00:17:18,878
Oh.
449
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,198
Whenever I had
a crappy day,
450
00:17:23,288 --> 00:17:25,444
I would come here and Coleen
would take my mind off it.
451
00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:28,374
Well, she's not here. So
out of habit, I-I came by.
452
00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:31,974
Great. Lila's in her crib.
You guys can cry together.
453
00:17:32,058 --> 00:17:33,644
I'm gonna go to bed.
454
00:17:33,728 --> 00:17:35,624
You're not wearing
any shoes.
455
00:17:35,708 --> 00:17:37,794
She's teething.
Good luck.
456
00:17:37,878 --> 00:17:39,964
Well, if I'm gonna keep getting
in fights
457
00:17:40,048 --> 00:17:41,724
at the roller rink,
I have to start training.
458
00:17:41,808 --> 00:17:44,244
Hey, do you think I can
do Krav Maga on skates?
459
00:17:44,328 --> 00:17:46,634
Is that a thing?
You know what?
460
00:17:46,718 --> 00:17:49,974
I'm proud of you
for embracing our son,
461
00:17:50,058 --> 00:17:51,754
in your own bizarre way.
462
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,314
Well, I mean,
it's just who I am now.
463
00:17:53,398 --> 00:17:55,144
I'm a red-tailed hawk,
so...
464
00:17:55,228 --> 00:17:56,404
Is that right?
Mm.
465
00:17:56,488 --> 00:17:57,644
Oh.
466
00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:00,314
Well, come here, you
winged beast.
467
00:18:00,398 --> 00:18:01,834
Oh, and that's a kid.
468
00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:03,508
Okay.
469
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,594
Pick a card, any card.
470
00:18:06,678 --> 00:18:08,344
Aww. You know
you're the reason
471
00:18:08,428 --> 00:18:09,414
bad things happen,
right?
472
00:18:09,498 --> 00:18:10,844
Are you gonna let him
do the trick?
473
00:18:10,928 --> 00:18:12,558
Mm-hmm.
Pick a card, Mommy.
474
00:18:13,338 --> 00:18:14,344
There we go.
475
00:18:34,028 --> 00:18:35,854
Hey!
476
00:18:35,938 --> 00:18:37,874
I'll give you a lift.
477
00:18:37,958 --> 00:18:40,464
Oh, sorry.
478
00:18:40,548 --> 00:18:41,854
Ignore that.
479
00:18:41,938 --> 00:18:44,134
Thanks. This parking lot
always gives me the creeps.
480
00:18:44,218 --> 00:18:46,214
Ah, you got the guns
to protect yourself.
481
00:18:46,298 --> 00:18:47,784
I got a spot
by the back door.
482
00:18:47,868 --> 00:18:49,624
It's right up next to
the dumpster, though,
483
00:18:49,708 --> 00:18:52,034
but you can just crawl
out on my side.
484
00:18:52,118 --> 00:18:55,984
♪ We fight and delightin the tears that we cry ♪
485
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,054
♪ Until dawn ♪
486
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,154
♪ Oh, whoa ♪
487
00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:01,374
♪ Hold me now ♪
488
00:19:03,798 --> 00:19:07,818
Hey, so, I have some, uh,
kind of major news.
489
00:19:08,908 --> 00:19:11,334
I signed up for some
of those business courses.
490
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:12,984
Oh, fantastic.
Yeah.
491
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,394
That's great news.
Yeah.
492
00:19:14,478 --> 00:19:16,074
I'm really glad that I came
to you about that.
493
00:19:16,158 --> 00:19:17,564
I mean, you're
the smartest person I know.
494
00:19:17,648 --> 00:19:19,414
The smartest?
495
00:19:19,498 --> 00:19:21,344
Yeah.
Rea... You think?
496
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,404
Yeah. Yeah, really. Really?
497
00:19:23,488 --> 00:19:26,718
I, uh... I think that you're
the total package.
498
00:19:28,008 --> 00:19:30,094
Thank you.
499
00:19:30,178 --> 00:19:32,184
That brings me joy.
500
00:19:32,268 --> 00:19:34,354
Um, and there's
something else
501
00:19:34,438 --> 00:19:36,424
that I-I've been wanting
to tell you.
502
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,914
Um...
503
00:19:38,998 --> 00:19:40,844
and if I don't just say it now,
I'm... I'm...
504
00:19:40,928 --> 00:19:42,608
♪ Go far away ♪
505
00:19:44,598 --> 00:19:46,254
I'm very attracted
to you.
506
00:19:46,338 --> 00:19:48,204
♪ There's nowherethat I'd rather be ♪
507
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:50,204
I think you're cute,
too.
508
00:19:50,288 --> 00:19:52,034
Really?
509
00:19:52,118 --> 00:19:55,874
Because I-I've been wanting
to kiss you for awhile now.
510
00:19:55,958 --> 00:19:58,044
♪ Whoa, warm my heart ♪
511
00:19:58,128 --> 00:20:01,175
Oh, God.
That was inappropriate.
512
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:03,096
I'm so sorr...
And you can't even get out.
513
00:20:03,180 --> 00:20:04,846
I-I've trapped you!
I'm a sexual predator!
514
00:20:04,930 --> 00:20:07,846
You're not! It's okay 'cause
I'm very into it. I'm so sorry.
515
00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:09,866
And it would only be
a kiss.
516
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:11,366
Yeah?
517
00:20:11,450 --> 00:20:12,366
Well...
518
00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:13,856
No. No.
You're married.
519
00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:18,802
I mean, yes, we are
technically married,
520
00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:20,616
but we're not...
doing great.
521
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,356
I'm sorry to hear that.
522
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,456
♪ ...me and we're laughing,we're loving it all ♪
523
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:28,073
Well, it's more
than just kissing.
524
00:20:28,158 --> 00:20:31,276
I'd really like
to do more.
525
00:20:33,790 --> 00:20:36,706
And that was more inappropriate,
and I'm so sorry.
526
00:20:36,790 --> 00:20:39,636
I-I keep... I don't know why
I just keep just talking.
527
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,126
Can I lose eight more pounds
first?
528
00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:43,126
♪ ...tears that we cryuntil dawn ♪
529
00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:44,626
Before we do more?
530
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:50,126
♪ Oh, hold me now ♪
531
00:20:50,210 --> 00:20:53,296
♪ Whoa, warm my heart ♪
532
00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:55,316
Can we make it
six pounds?
533
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,603
- ♪ Stay with me ♪
- Definitely. Let's go do burpees.
534
00:20:57,688 --> 00:20:58,895
Okay.
535
00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:01,595
♪ Let loving start,
let loving start ♪
536
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,830
I got it. Okay. I'll help you.
537
00:21:03,915 --> 00:21:05,685
♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪38995
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