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1
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,674
(LAUGHS)
2
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:05,106
- I'm Statler.
- I'm Waldorf.
3
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,233
We're here to heckle
The Muppet Movie.
4
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,111
Gentlemen, that's straight ahead.
Private screening room D.
5
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,322
- Private screening?
- Yeah, they're afraid to show it in public.
6
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,407
(LAUGHING)
7
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,244
STATLER: Oh, oh. Look at this place.
What a dump.
8
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,997
WALDORF: Bunch of weirdos
around here. Look at 'em.
9
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:25,084
- Yes, I know you all want to sit with moi.
- Hey, lady. Is this seat taken?
10
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,422
Hey, you! Hey! Bring that back.
11
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:33,634
I'm so nervous. If I'm not funny,
I won't be able to live with myself.
12
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:36,679
Well, then you'll have to get
another apartment, won't you?
13
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,223
You know,
I hear this movie is dynamite.
14
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:43,936
Get your fresh organic popcorn.
Only a buck.
15
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,063
Honey. Buy me some, please.
16
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,775
Sure, Momma.
Nothin's too good for my woman.
17
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:51,861
Woman! Woman! Woman!
18
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:56,532
- Well, I like the movie fine so far.
- It hasn't started yet.
19
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,785
- That's what I like about it.
- (BOTH CHUCKLING)
20
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,453
Yie, yie, yie, yie, yie!
21
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:04,207
Do it. Yay! (LAUGHING)
22
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,794
Oh, hey, Mr. The Frog.
23
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:11,964
Is it okay for me and my boomerang fish
to be in your movie?
24
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,299
Hey!
25
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,260
I told you, Lew.
Not in the movie or at the screening.
26
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,304
Hey, but watch. Whoa!
27
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:22,517
(CLEARS THROAT) Kermit, does
this film have socially redeeming value?
28
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:25,770
Oh, I... I certainly hope so, Sam.
Sorry about that.
29
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,148
- Kermie.
- Oh, hi, Piggy.
30
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:32,693
Kermie, I tried to save you a seat,
but somebody took it.
31
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:36,614
Hi, everybody, and welcome to the
first screening of The Muppet Movie.
32
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,033
(ALL CHEERING)
33
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:43,162
But before we begin, I'd like to thank
everyone who contributed to this film,
34
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:46,916
starting with the little people,
from the hairdressers to special effects.
35
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,044
That's enough of that, Harry.
36
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,840
- (ALL CLAMORING)
- Boom! Blow it up. Ka-boom!
37
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,883
- MUPPET: Boring.
- To the costume designers.
38
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,510
- To the prop makers.
- MISS PIGGY: Kermie, Kermie.
39
00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:01,055
Speeches are not necessary, dear.
Roll film.
40
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:06,352
Yeah, but I'd like to thank everybody for
all of their hard work and their patience
41
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,355
- and their...
- Roll film! Roll film!
42
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,315
Roll film.
43
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,572
(SHUSHING)
44
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,706
Excuse me.
45
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:32,044
Uncle Kermit, is this about
how the Muppets really got started?
46
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,298
Well, it's sort of approximately
how it happened.
47
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:53,626
KERMIT: (SINGING) Why are there
so many songs about rainbows
48
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:58,214
And what's on the other side?
49
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:03,010
Rainbows are visions
50
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:06,138
But only illusions
51
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:10,893
And rainbows have nothing to hide
52
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,814
So we've been told
53
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:18,818
And some choose to believe it
54
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:23,406
I know they're wrong, wait and see
55
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:28,077
Someday we'll find it
56
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,205
The rainbow connection
57
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:35,793
The lovers, the dreamers and me
58
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,676
Who said that every wish
59
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,721
Would be heard and answered
60
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:51,642
When wished on the morning star?
61
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,272
Somebody thought of that
62
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,567
And someone believed it
63
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:04,488
Look what it's done so far
64
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,451
What's so amazing
65
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,829
That keeps us stargazing?
66
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:16,250
And what do we think we might see?
67
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,213
Someday we'll find it
68
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,341
The rainbow connection
69
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:29,180
The lovers, the dreamers and me
70
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:33,434
All of us under its spell
71
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:40,316
We know that it's probably magic
72
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,737
Have you been half asleep?
73
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:48,074
And have you heard voices?
74
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:53,120
I've heard them calling my name
75
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:57,166
Is this the sweet sound
76
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,377
That calls the young sailors?
77
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:05,132
The voice might be one and the same
78
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:12,723
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
79
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:17,812
It's something that I'm supposed to be
80
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:22,233
Someday we'll find it
81
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,111
The rainbow connection
82
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:30,199
The lovers, the dreamers and me
83
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,576
(VOCALIZING)
84
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,508
MAN: Help! Hello.
85
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,343
This is a serious call for help.
86
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,222
- Yeah?
- Someone help.
87
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,308
Ah, I... Oh, oh.
88
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,020
You, you with the banjo.
89
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:03,274
Can you help me?
I have lost my sense of direction.
90
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,942
Have you tried Hare Krishna?
91
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:06,944
Ha, ha. No.
92
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,779
- No. I mean I'm really lost.
- (FLY BUZZING)
93
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,197
One second.
94
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,618
Darn, I missed. You know,
that's the first thing to go on a frog.
95
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:17,580
His tongue. The tongue goes
and you can't catch flies.
96
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,832
That's rough.
I'm sorry about your tongue,
97
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,668
but I have to get out of this swamp.
I have to catch a plane.
98
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,004
With that tongue? No way.
99
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,755
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
100
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,341
But seriously,
there's a boat dock just downstream.
101
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,385
- Thank you.
- Just watch out for the alligators.
102
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,803
I will.
103
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,514
- Alligators?
- That's right.
104
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,308
Did you say alligators?
105
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:40,102
Read my lips, alligators.
106
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,855
It's just that I'm not used to alligators
where I come from.
107
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:47,151
See, I'm an agent.
I... I winged in from Hollywood.
108
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,986
- Hollywood?
- That's right.
109
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,654
Did you say Hollywood?
110
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:53,574
Read my lips, Hollywood. You know...
111
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:54,867
Hollywood
112
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,911
The dream factory, the magic store.
113
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,413
Hey, don't you ever go to the movies?
114
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:02,416
Oh, sure. There's a double feature
in town every Saturday.
115
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,626
(SNAPS FINGERS)
116
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,545
- Wait a minute.
- What?
117
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:10,507
There's an ad in here
that you should be very interested in.
118
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,595
- Feast your eyes on that.
- Uh...
119
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:18,599
"World Wide Studios
announces open auditions for frogs
120
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,476
"wishing to become rich and famous."
121
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,730
Well, thanks anyway,
but I'm really pretty happy where I am.
122
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,899
Oh, oh, if I were you,
123
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,109
I would give this audition
very careful consideration.
124
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,862
You've got talent, kid.
Singin', tellin' jokes.
125
00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:34,531
I mean, if you get your tongue fixed,
who knows?
126
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,408
You could make
millions of people happy.
127
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,870
- Millions of people happy?
- Millions.
128
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:43,582
Hey, if you ever come west
to Hollywood, look me up.
129
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,125
Bernie the Agent.
130
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:48,545
Hey, well, listen, Bernie, why don't you
say hello to Arnie the Alligator?
131
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:50,881
- What?
- Arnie.
132
00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:52,258
(SCREAMING)
133
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,136
Arnie, wait a minute. Careful, Arnie.
134
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,763
Stay! Stay!
135
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,307
Arnie, that's okay. Leave him alone.
136
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,142
It's all right, he's from Hollywood.
137
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,691
Hollywood. Gee.
138
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,568
I...
139
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,238
I'd miss this old swamp, but...
140
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,782
Millions of people happy.
141
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,200
(PLAYS NOTE)
142
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,353
What the...
143
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:51,483
MAN: Okay, okay, you guys.
Now, come on. Do what I tell you.
144
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,319
I don't know where you're...
All right, now...
145
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:54,987
Don't step on that asphalt!
146
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:58,407
I told you not to step on it.
We gotta get this... Off the asphalt!
147
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,993
I told you, stay off the asphalt!
148
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,286
Hey, look at him.
149
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,333
Oh, big legs.
150
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:11,003
MAN: Hey, you on the bike!
Watch out! Watch out!
151
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,838
- Watch out!
- Oh, my... Ah!
152
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:13,922
Watch out!
153
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,382
Oh!
154
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:19,720
Hmm.
155
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:23,015
That's pretty dangerous, building
a road in the middle of the street.
156
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:27,353
I mean, if frogs couldn't hop,
I'd be gone with the Schwinn.
157
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:32,566
KERMIT: The El Sleezo Cafe.
158
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,612
Hmm.
159
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,615
Foreign food.
160
00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:44,161
Doesn't smell promising,
but a frog's gotta eat.
161
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,662
(CAFE PATRONS ARGUING)
162
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:46,747
(GASPS)
163
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,713
KERMIT: Wow.
164
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:00,594
Rough place, huh?
165
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:05,557
That's the toughest, meanest, filthiest,
pesthole on the face of the Earth.
166
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,559
Well, why not complain to the owner?
167
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,603
I am the owner.
168
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,128
MAN: Watch out.
Hot plates comin' through. Look out.
169
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,880
All right, you got
your French-fried frog legs on Cotton.
170
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,758
You got your frog legs on Eugenie.
You got your frog legs stroganoff.
171
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,344
- Everybody happy? All right.
- Ugh!
172
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,355
Hello, sailor. Buy me a drink?
173
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,275
Well, you see,
I'm not a sailor, I'm a frog.
174
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,819
Cut the small talk and buy me a drink.
175
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:03,532
- But I don't even know you.
- Hey. You makin' a move on my girl?
176
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,076
- No, sir.
- He did, too. He touched me.
177
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,620
Ugh! Go wash. You'll get warts.
178
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:11,957
- No, you see, that's just a myth.
- Yeah, but she's my "myth."
179
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,293
- No, no. Myth, myth.
- Yeth?
180
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,379
What the hey?
181
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,047
(CLOCK RINGING)
182
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,510
Showtime. Showtime at the El Sleezo.
183
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:30,726
PIANIST: And now, filling in for
the vacationing El Sleezo dancing girls,
184
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:36,356
the funny, furry, fabulous Fozzie Bear.
185
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,238
Wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka.
186
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,658
Hey, you're a great crowd.
Thank you, thank you and thank you.
187
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,660
- Hey, wacka, wacka.
- (HONKING)
188
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,621
Ah, wacka, wacka, wacka.
189
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:54,041
Here I am, Fozzie Bear,
to tell you jokes both old and rare.
190
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,626
Wacka, wacka, wacka.
191
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,879
(BOOING)
192
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,924
Ha, ha. Let's start things off with a bang.
193
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,968
Thank you, sir.
194
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,512
Wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka.
195
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,388
This guy's lost.
196
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,642
Maybe he should try Hare Krishna.
197
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,020
Grief, it's a running gag.
198
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,231
Uh...
199
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,691
There was this sailor who was so fat...
200
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,610
How fat was he?
201
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,654
Uh...
202
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:26,156
He was so fat that everybody liked him
203
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,783
and there was
nothing funny about him at all.
204
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,202
(CROWD BOOING)
205
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,037
FOZZIE: No problem.
206
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,040
Oh, wait, please.
Oh, please. Please wait.
207
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,918
I'm trying so hard. Please don't do that.
208
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,672
I'm a professional.
I've had three performances.
209
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,216
- Cut, cut, please.
- Do you know any dance routines?
210
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,426
What? Not really. Do you?
211
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,763
- Play something snappy.
- You got it.
212
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,807
(PLAYS JAUNTY MUSIC)
213
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,851
- Now dance.
- What?
214
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:56,562
- Dance.
- Yes, sir.
215
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,856
Ah! Wacka, wacka.
216
00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:02,776
Aha, wacka, wacka.
217
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,028
Ah!
218
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:11,493
It's too bad the dancing girls are
on vacation. The crowd is getting ugly.
219
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:15,664
Ha, ha. You think this crowd's ugly,
you should see the dancing girls.
220
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,170
FOZZIE: Two, three, four.
221
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,467
(CROWD SHOUTS)
222
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:30,512
- Two, three, kick.
- Kick. Yeah, sorry.
223
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,348
Coming home.
224
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,688
FOZZIE: Argh!
225
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,193
Please. I just cleaned the fur.
Please. Oh.
226
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,031
(KERMIT GROANS)
227
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:12,971
I hope you appreciate
that I'm doing all my own stunts.
228
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,932
Wacka wacka.
229
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:22,314
Okay, everybody. Drinks on the house.
230
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,815
(CHEERING)
231
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:26,318
Drinks on the house!
Man, come on, let's go.
232
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,236
- Drinks on the house.
- Go, go. On the house.
233
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,366
MAN: Drinks on the house.
234
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:36,119
I don't see no drinks up here.
What's he talkin' about?
235
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,664
The bartender said
there were drinks on the house.
236
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,543
Works every time.
237
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,922
Well... Well, hey, listen.
238
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,591
My name is Kermit the Frog
and I'm on my way to Hollywood.
239
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,343
- Hollywood?
- You wanna join me?
240
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:55,013
Big-time show biz.
That's always been my dream.
241
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,891
Yeah, well, they're holding auditions
for frogs next week.
242
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,143
And if they need frogs,
they must need bears, too.
243
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,645
Oh.
244
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,772
My car's right outside.
245
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,777
Gee, a Studebaker.
Where did you get it?
246
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,405
- My uncle left it to me.
- Huh? Is he dead?
247
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,281
No, he's hibernating.
248
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,842
You know, Fozzie,
you really do have a lot of talent.
249
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,343
Thank you.
250
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:36,304
You know, how about you and me
putting together an act?
251
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,474
Oh, no. Sorry. I only work as a single.
252
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,101
Oh, okay.
253
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,900
All right. You talked me into it.
We'll be a team.
254
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,569
Oh, good.
255
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,779
- What's this?
- Hey, you better pull over here.
256
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:54,281
Yes, sir.
257
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,116
(BRAKES SCREECH)
258
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,285
- (BANGING)
- FOZZIE: Ah.
259
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,288
Hey, what's going on?
260
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,750
Howdy, Mr. Frog.
261
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,919
- I'm a businessman with a proposition.
- What?
262
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,298
Let me show you somethin'
that might change your whole life.
263
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:12,466
Huh.
264
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:18,138
Hop right on over here,
my little green friend.
265
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,432
- Listen, mister.
- That's it.
266
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,811
This is the kind of chance
you can't afford to pass up.
267
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:27,481
- (GASPS)
- No, now, don't be afraid.
268
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,232
- Watch the window.
- Hm.
269
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,486
- KERMIT: What's that?
- FOZZIE: Ah.
270
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:36,072
- (KERMIT GASPS)
- Hi, I'm Doc Hopper,
271
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:40,327
invitin' you to hop on down and get
some Hopper's French-fried frog legs.
272
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:44,414
Right here at the sign
of the bright green legs.
273
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,291
- Good grief.
- Come on.
274
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,794
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
275
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:51,546
(SINGING)
Frog legs, frog legs, frog legs are fine
276
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,299
Hopper's is the place you should dine
277
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:57,469
There's cheese legs
Bacon legs, chili legs too
278
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:58,762
French-fried frog legs barbecued
279
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,056
Oh, Fozzie. Ugh.
280
00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:02,641
If you want just a snack
281
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:03,975
Don't worry.
282
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,812
Then here is the one
283
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:10,065
A frog leg burger on a bright green bun
284
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,233
(KERMIT WINCES)
285
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,486
That is terrible.
286
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,073
That's the most appalling, disgusting,
revolting thing I've ever seen.
287
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,408
I know. I'm a great businessman
and a sweet fella,
288
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,536
but I do lack the skills of a performer.
289
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,579
You also make a lousy frog.
290
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,499
You, on the other hand,
make a terrific frog.
291
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,917
- What?
- He's right, you know.
292
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,336
- You are very likable, Kermit.
- The bear's right.
293
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:36,007
You, my little likable friend, are gonna
do all our television commercials.
294
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,635
- No way.
- Hold it. Now, just a minute.
295
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,930
There's $500 in it for you up-front.
296
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,307
$500 is just the beginning.
297
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:48,186
You could be earning this much
every year.
298
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,940
- Let's go, Fozzie.
- $500?
299
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,318
Would you consider
a bear in a frog suit?
300
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,154
- Fozzie.
- Yes, sir. I just lost my head. I...
301
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:01,950
Now, just a minute, Mr. Frog.
Everything's negotiable.
302
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,160
- FOZZIE: Okay, here we go, here we go.
- (BANGING)
303
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,288
- FOZZIE: Sorry.
- Hey, that's my Caddy!
304
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,123
- Just get it in gear, Fozzie.
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
305
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,084
HOPPER:
Frog, it's money we're talking about.
306
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,086
Max!
307
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,339
- Follow that frog.
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
308
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,509
- Max!
- (BRAKES SCREECH)
309
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,558
Follow that frog with me in the car!
310
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,435
I'm sorry, Doc. I just got excited.
311
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,645
Hey, do you like the frog?
Isn't he terrific, Doc?
312
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,272
Terrific, Max, terrific. Now go!
313
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,065
But you promised me a reward.
314
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,526
Later, Max. Now follow that frog.
315
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:45,285
- FOZZIE: Oh, it's a gorgeous day.
- KERMIT: Yep, certainly is.
316
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:48,997
- Yep, terrific day for a drive.
- It's beautiful country out here.
317
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,541
A frog and a bear seeing America.
318
00:20:56,297 --> 00:21:00,133
(SINGING) Movin' right along
in search of good times and good news
319
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,427
With good friends, you can't lose
320
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,888
This could become a habit
321
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:08,975
Opportunity knocks once
Let's reach out and grab it
322
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:11,478
- Yeah!
- Together we'll nab it
323
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:14,105
We'll hitchhike, bus, or Yellow Cab it
324
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,523
Cab it?
325
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,609
BOTH: Movin' right along
326
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:20,779
Footloose and fancy-free
327
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:24,783
Getting there is half the fun
Come share it with me
328
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,826
Movin' right along
329
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,579
KERMIT: We'll learn to share the load
330
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:34,167
FOZZIE: We don't need a map
to keep this show on the road
331
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:38,088
Hey, Fozzie, I want you to turn left
if you come to a fork in the road.
332
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,548
Yes, sir. Turn left at the fork in the road.
333
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,217
FOZZIE: Kermit.
334
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,552
KERMIT: I don't believe that.
335
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:49,683
KERMIT: (SINGING) Movin' right along
We've found a life on the highway
336
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:52,102
FOZZIE: And your way is my way
337
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:54,479
KERMIT: So trust my navigation
338
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:58,900
FOZZIE: California, here we come
Come pie in the sky land
339
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:00,986
KERMIT: Palm trees and warm sand
340
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:03,530
Though sadly we just left Rhode Island
341
00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:05,115
- We did what?
- Just forget it.
342
00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:07,158
BOTH: Movin' right along
343
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,744
Hey, LA, where have you gone?
344
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:14,082
FOZZIE: Send someone to fetch us
We're in Saskatchewan
345
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,251
BOTH: Movin' right along
346
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,586
You take it, you know best
347
00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:23,174
FOZZIE: Hey, I've never seen
the sun come up in the west
348
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,094
Ah.
349
00:22:26,721 --> 00:22:29,305
A bear in his natural habitat.
350
00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:30,640
A Studebaker.
351
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,853
- Hey, Fozzie, look up ahead.
- What is that?
352
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,688
Maybe we should give him a ride.
353
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:39,232
I don't know. He's pretty big.
354
00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:43,570
- Hey, there. Want a lift?
- Oh, no, thanks.
355
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:48,533
I'm on my way to New York City
to try to break into public television.
356
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,410
Ah.
357
00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:51,911
Good luck.
358
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:59,544
BOTH: (SINGING) Movin' right along
We're truly birds of a feather
359
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:01,755
We're in this together
360
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:04,257
And we know where we're goin'
361
00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:08,386
Movie stars with flashy cars
and life with the top down
362
00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:10,972
We're stormin' the big town
363
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,099
Yeah, storm is right.
Should it be snowing?
364
00:23:13,184 --> 00:23:14,768
No, I don't think so.
365
00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:16,853
BOTH: Movin' right along
366
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:19,731
Footloose and fancy-free
367
00:23:19,815 --> 00:23:21,691
You're ready for the big time
368
00:23:21,776 --> 00:23:24,194
Is it ready for me?
369
00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:45,965
Movin' right along
370
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:47,509
KERMIT: Hey.
371
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:49,928
Hey, Fozzie, look up ahead there.
372
00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:52,806
There's one of those
Doc Hopper billboards.
373
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,141
- Maybe you'd better pull over.
- Yes, sir.
374
00:23:56,685 --> 00:23:58,436
Oh, look at that.
375
00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:01,815
Kermit, that's you.
376
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,067
(LAUGHING)
377
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:06,611
You got the picture, boy?
You see what I mean?
378
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:10,949
Kermit the Frog, symbol of
Doc Hopper's French-fried frog legs.
379
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:15,495
Isn't that splendid? Just splendid.
Just take a look at it.
380
00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:18,957
All I can see are millions of frogs
on tiny crutches.
381
00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:23,878
Now, listen, boy.
Don't you wanna be rich and famous?
382
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:26,047
- Not workin' for you, I don't.
- That's right.
383
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:29,008
- Crutches?
- Shut up, Max.
384
00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:32,262
We're a small-time operation,
but we're expandin'.
385
00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:35,223
Expandin', just like you frogs expand.
386
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:37,392
Don't you frogs expand?
387
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:40,103
- That's a myth.
- What?
388
00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:41,479
Myth! Myth!
389
00:24:41,564 --> 00:24:42,730
Yeth?
390
00:24:43,566 --> 00:24:44,566
BOTH: Huh?
391
00:24:46,569 --> 00:24:48,361
- Come on, Bear. Burn rubber.
- Yes, sir.
392
00:24:49,905 --> 00:24:52,073
Hey, Frog!
393
00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:56,035
That's the second time!
394
00:24:56,120 --> 00:25:00,123
Max, I've done my best with that frog.
Now's the time to do my worst.
395
00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,500
- Open the door.
- No! You open the door.
396
00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:05,378
- What?
- I'm through, Doc. The frog is right.
397
00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:08,173
You're asking him to do something
terrible. I can't be a part of it.
398
00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:10,466
It's a moral decision and I'll stand by it.
399
00:25:10,551 --> 00:25:13,136
- I'll double your percentage.
- I'll open the door.
400
00:25:18,058 --> 00:25:19,517
FOZZIE: Kermit, where are we?
401
00:25:19,602 --> 00:25:21,144
Well, let's see.
402
00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:24,355
We were just traveling down
this little black line here.
403
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,192
And we just crossed
that little red line over here.
404
00:25:27,276 --> 00:25:30,111
Well, how about...
Let's take the blue line, huh?
405
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:33,781
- No, we can't take that. That's a river.
- Oh, I knew that.
406
00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:36,451
- Yeah, sure.
- Listen, Kermit, why don't we just go...
407
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:39,120
- Fozzie. Fozzie.
- Huh. Yeah?
408
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:40,830
Who's driving?
409
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:43,166
(BOTH SCREAM)
410
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:47,462
- KERMIT: Look out! Stop!
- FOZZIE: No problem.
411
00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:51,507
- Okay, back it up.
- Ah, yes, sir.
412
00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:55,929
- Fozzie, where did you learn to drive?
- I took a correspondence course.
413
00:25:57,890 --> 00:26:00,016
This looks like a nice quiet spot.
414
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:01,100
Uh-huh.
415
00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:06,898
Boy, it feels like
we've been driving for days.
416
00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:09,317
Yeah. Funny, I'm still wide awake.
417
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,069
Yeah, me, too.
418
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,528
(SNORING)
419
00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:15,782
Me, too.
420
00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:20,161
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
421
00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:26,251
- (BAND PLAYING)
- What? What? What? I'm up, I'm up.
422
00:26:26,335 --> 00:26:27,627
What's that?
423
00:26:35,052 --> 00:26:37,804
They don't look like Presbyterians
to me.
424
00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:52,944
Hey, cool it, everybody.
425
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,822
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
426
00:26:55,906 --> 00:27:00,118
Our gentle mornin' melodies
have attracted wanderin' admirers.
427
00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:03,788
- Hey, who are you guys?
- We am, is, are and be
428
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:07,542
they whom as are known as
the Electric Mayhem.
429
00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:09,502
- (LAUGHING)
- For sure.
430
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:11,796
He's Dr. Teeth.
431
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:16,342
Golden teeth and golden tones.
Welcome to my presence.
432
00:27:16,427 --> 00:27:18,469
- Thank you.
- Fozzie.
433
00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:21,556
- I'm Floyd, I blow bass.
- And I'm...
434
00:27:22,391 --> 00:27:23,391
I'm...
435
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:25,560
Zoot. Sax is your ax.
436
00:27:25,811 --> 00:27:28,563
Uh-oh. Zoot's skipped a groove again.
437
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:32,567
Wow, like, I'm Janice.
I'm lead guitar, for surely.
438
00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:35,069
(ROARS)
439
00:27:36,405 --> 00:27:39,198
Oh, yeah. That's Animal.
Show 'em what you do, Animal.
440
00:27:39,283 --> 00:27:41,451
I want to eat drums.
441
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,663
No, no. Beat drums, beat drums.
442
00:27:47,291 --> 00:27:49,459
Beat drums. Beat drums.
443
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:54,380
- Down, Animal. Back. Sit.
- Down. Back. Sit.
444
00:27:55,215 --> 00:27:56,799
MUPPET: Hey, don't forget about me.
445
00:27:58,344 --> 00:28:00,636
I'm Scooter, the band's road manager.
446
00:28:00,721 --> 00:28:04,182
Oh, yeah. The road manager.
We couldn't go anywhere without him.
447
00:28:04,266 --> 00:28:07,602
- He's the man with the contacts?
- No, he's the man with the van.
448
00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:12,357
Yeah, we're takin' this old church
and turnin' it into a coffeehouse.
449
00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:16,861
Yeah, with real good music
and organic refreshments.
450
00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:20,698
It'll be so fine and laid-back
and mellow and profitable.
451
00:28:20,783 --> 00:28:22,700
ANIMAL: Profitable.
452
00:28:22,785 --> 00:28:24,994
Yeah, but what brings you dudes here?
453
00:28:25,079 --> 00:28:28,539
Listen, see, Kermit here,
he was living in the swamp...
454
00:28:28,624 --> 00:28:30,041
- Fozzie.
...and then a fisherman came along.
455
00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:32,043
Fozzie, you can't tell 'em
the whole story.
456
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:33,961
You'll bore the audience.
457
00:28:35,297 --> 00:28:36,714
Oh, sorry.
458
00:28:36,799 --> 00:28:39,550
But, Kermit,
the band here wants to know.
459
00:28:39,635 --> 00:28:41,594
Well, let 'em read the screenplay.
460
00:28:41,804 --> 00:28:44,097
Ah! Yes, sir.
461
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:46,140
Uh...
462
00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:49,227
You see, it starts here on page one.
463
00:28:50,187 --> 00:28:52,105
The Muppet Movie, huh?
464
00:28:52,481 --> 00:28:54,482
Hmm. Let's see.
465
00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:58,986
"Exterior. Swamp. Day.
In a long helicopter shot,
466
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:03,032
"we discover Kermit the Frog
playin' his banjo and singin'.
467
00:29:03,117 --> 00:29:06,160
"A Hollywood agent
starts the frog travelin' west.
468
00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:09,414
"Doc Hopper comes on strong
and they get to this church.
469
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:11,541
"Interior. Church. Day.
470
00:29:11,625 --> 00:29:14,669
"Fozzie. 'They don't look like
Presbyterians to me.'
471
00:29:16,422 --> 00:29:19,465
"Kermit and Fozzie
come walkin' down the aisle
472
00:29:19,550 --> 00:29:25,138
"to the thunderously loud music
of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem."
473
00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:28,683
- Which am us.
- For sure, for sure.
474
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:32,270
This is a narrative
of very heavy-duty proportions.
475
00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:34,021
Yeah. Cosmic, man.
476
00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:38,067
We gotta keep his little froggy self
away from this Hopper dude.
477
00:29:38,152 --> 00:29:40,278
Too true, too true.
478
00:29:40,362 --> 00:29:44,449
It is indeed a problem
for us to probosculate upon.
479
00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:48,286
But it seems to me that the frog and
the bear are temporarily out of service.
480
00:29:48,370 --> 00:29:49,370
(BOTH SNORING)
481
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:53,458
Oh, wow, like, what can we do
to help them?
482
00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,461
- Well, if this were the movies...
- Which it is.
483
00:29:56,545 --> 00:29:58,629
...we'd think of a clever plot device.
484
00:29:58,714 --> 00:30:02,633
Like disguising their car
so they won't be recognized.
485
00:30:02,718 --> 00:30:04,469
Right. Two, three, four.
486
00:30:07,181 --> 00:30:08,222
Oh, yeah!
487
00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:10,725
Whoo!
488
00:30:11,977 --> 00:30:13,394
All right.
489
00:30:14,188 --> 00:30:16,230
(SINGING)
Everybody's lover, everybody's brother
490
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,649
I wanna be your lifetime friend
491
00:30:18,734 --> 00:30:20,902
Crazy as a rocket, nothin' in my pocket
492
00:30:20,986 --> 00:30:23,237
I'll keep it at the rainbow's end
493
00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:25,656
I never think of money
I think of milk and honey
494
00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:27,533
Grinnin' like a Cheshire cat
495
00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:30,369
I focus on the pleasure
Somethin' I can treasure
496
00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:33,915
Can you picture that?
497
00:30:37,044 --> 00:30:38,503
Oh, yeah.
498
00:30:41,131 --> 00:30:43,257
Hey, Floyd. Take a verse.
499
00:30:44,301 --> 00:30:46,844
(SINGING) Let me take your picture
Add it to the mixture
500
00:30:46,929 --> 00:30:48,888
There it is, I got you now
501
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:51,349
Really nothin' to it, anyone can do it
502
00:30:51,433 --> 00:30:53,684
It's easy and we all know how
503
00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:56,020
Now begins the changin'
Mental rearrangin'
504
00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:58,356
Nothin's really where it's at
505
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,691
Now the Eiffel Tower's
holdin' up a flower
506
00:31:00,776 --> 00:31:02,777
I gave it to a Texas cat
507
00:31:04,363 --> 00:31:09,283
Fact is there's nothin' out there
you can't do
508
00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:13,871
Yeah, even Santa Claus
believes in you
509
00:31:13,956 --> 00:31:17,667
Beat down the walls
Begin, believe, begat
510
00:31:19,294 --> 00:31:21,629
Be a better drummer
Be an up-and-comer
511
00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:25,758
Can you picture that?
512
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,680
Only what you got
513
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:38,062
All of us are winnin'
Pickin' and a-grinnin'
514
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:39,897
Lordy, but I love to jam
515
00:31:39,982 --> 00:31:42,775
Jelly-belly gigglin'
Dancin' and a-wigglin'
516
00:31:42,859 --> 00:31:44,569
Honey, that's the way I am
517
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:47,321
I lost my heart in Texas
Northern lights affects us
518
00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:49,407
I keep it underneath my hat
519
00:31:49,491 --> 00:31:51,993
Aurora Borealis
Shinin' down on Dallas
520
00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:56,664
Can you picture that?
521
00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:58,749
Can you picture?
522
00:31:58,834 --> 00:32:01,502
You gotta see it in your mind
523
00:32:01,587 --> 00:32:03,337
Can you picture?
524
00:32:03,422 --> 00:32:05,798
You know it's quick and easy to find
525
00:32:05,882 --> 00:32:07,883
Can you picture?
526
00:32:07,968 --> 00:32:10,761
You don't have to buy a frame
527
00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:12,972
Can you picture?
528
00:32:13,056 --> 00:32:17,685
Can you picture that?
529
00:32:17,894 --> 00:32:20,187
- Use it if you need it
- Don't forget to feed it
530
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:21,939
Can you picture that?
531
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,404
FLOYD: Great job.
532
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:33,492
Doc Hopper will never
recognize you now.
533
00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:37,204
- I don't know how to thank you guys.
- I don't know why to thank you guys.
534
00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:38,914
Our pleasure, green stuff.
535
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:41,125
Are you sure you won't
come with us to Hollywood?
536
00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:44,128
Can't, baby,
but when you get rich and famous,
537
00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:46,380
maybe we'll show up
and exploit your wealth.
538
00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:47,840
(ALL LAUGHING)
539
00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,218
Movin' right along, Fozzie.
540
00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:55,014
ANIMAL: Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
541
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:59,644
(CHANTING) Hollywood! Hollywood!
542
00:32:59,728 --> 00:33:01,312
Hollywood!
543
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:04,899
Hollywood! Hollywood! Hollywood!
544
00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:07,818
HOPPER: Remember,
this frog does everything.
545
00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:09,528
He talks, he sings, he dances.
546
00:33:09,613 --> 00:33:12,615
He tells jokes. He even rides a bicycle.
547
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,576
Max, find me a frog and a bear
in a tan Studebaker.
548
00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:17,244
Gee, Doc. All I can see
549
00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:20,873
is a frog and a bear
in a rainbow-colored Studebaker.
550
00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:23,668
What?
551
00:33:23,752 --> 00:33:26,837
- Fozzie, they're right behind us.
- I know, I know.
552
00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:29,799
- Well, how did they recognize us?
- They recognized you.
553
00:33:29,883 --> 00:33:31,717
- What do you mean?
- There's a hundred bears around.
554
00:33:31,802 --> 00:33:33,761
I'm gaining on 'em, Doc.
I'm gaining on 'em.
555
00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:36,138
- Can't you drive any faster?
- No, sir.
556
00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:38,099
There's a sign up ahead there.
Pull in front of that.
557
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:41,060
- Move. Now duck.
- What?
558
00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:42,728
- Get down, Fozzie.
- Yes, sir.
559
00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:46,982
Aha!
560
00:33:50,112 --> 00:33:52,154
(CLUCKING)
561
00:33:53,490 --> 00:33:56,283
- GONZO: Oh, yeah?
- (CLUCKING)
562
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,037
GONZO: Uh-huh. Yeah.
563
00:34:02,833 --> 00:34:07,169
Oh, I tell you, Camilla,
great plumbers are born, not made.
564
00:34:07,254 --> 00:34:10,047
I'm a prince of plunger, fair maiden.
565
00:34:10,132 --> 00:34:12,174
(CLUCKS)
566
00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:16,387
GONZO: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll do
that. But first, wait till we get there.
567
00:34:16,847 --> 00:34:18,973
Fozzie, look at that funny little truck.
568
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:20,599
Yeah, it's cute, huh?
569
00:34:20,684 --> 00:34:22,893
- No, it's coming straight at us.
- (CLUCKS)
570
00:34:22,978 --> 00:34:24,895
(ALL SCREAM)
571
00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:26,480
KERMIT: We're gonna hit.
572
00:34:28,108 --> 00:34:29,608
We missed it.
573
00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:31,986
Oh, you call that a miss?
574
00:34:34,948 --> 00:34:37,158
GONZO: Well, I'm getting in your car.
575
00:34:38,243 --> 00:34:39,827
FOZZIE: Oh, boy.
576
00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:42,455
You guys okay?
577
00:34:42,539 --> 00:34:44,623
Why are you hopping up and down?
578
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:46,751
Because I'm hopping mad.
579
00:34:46,835 --> 00:34:48,294
Guy's got a sense of humor.
580
00:34:48,962 --> 00:34:52,047
- Hey, why don't you join us?
- Where are you going?
581
00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:56,469
- We're following our dream.
- Really? I have a dream, too.
582
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:59,096
- KERMIT AND FOZZIE: Huh?
- But you'll think it's stupid.
583
00:34:59,181 --> 00:35:00,973
- KERMIT: No, I won't.
- FOZZIE: Tell us, tell us.
584
00:35:01,057 --> 00:35:04,810
Well, I wanna go to Bombay, India
and become a movie star.
585
00:35:04,895 --> 00:35:05,895
CAMILLA: Ah.
586
00:35:05,979 --> 00:35:08,481
You don't go to Bombay
to become a movie star.
587
00:35:08,565 --> 00:35:10,691
You go where we're going, Hollywood.
588
00:35:10,984 --> 00:35:13,778
Sure, if you wanna do it the easy way.
589
00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:18,741
We picked up a weirdo.
590
00:35:19,743 --> 00:35:21,994
KERMIT: Hey, look up ahead.
There's Mad Man Mooney's.
591
00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:24,413
- FOZZIE: What's that?
- KERMIT: It's a used-car lot.
592
00:35:24,498 --> 00:35:27,416
I think we can trade in both these
old cars and get one big one.
593
00:35:27,501 --> 00:35:29,084
FOZZIE: Wait.
Trade in my uncle's Studebaker?
594
00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:30,127
KERMIT: Sure.
595
00:35:30,212 --> 00:35:31,962
FOZZIE: Oh, when he wakes up,
he'll kill me.
596
00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:34,298
KERMIT: You're swinging this turn
very wide, Fozzie.
597
00:35:34,382 --> 00:35:36,759
FOZZIE: Well, hold it, will you?
Just... Here we go. Up the bump.
598
00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:39,553
KERMIT: There we go. Hold on. All right.
599
00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:40,679
Pull up ahead there.
600
00:35:40,764 --> 00:35:42,598
- FOZZIE: Look at these cars.
- GONZO: Kermit, Kermit, Kermit.
601
00:35:42,682 --> 00:35:44,975
- Are you gonna sell my plunger, too?
- There's all kinds of great cars.
602
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,477
FOZZIE: No, he's not
gonna sell your plunger.
603
00:35:46,561 --> 00:35:49,021
KERMIT: Look at 'em up there.
Pull it up a little further here, Fozzie.
604
00:35:49,105 --> 00:35:50,815
FOZZIE: Where should I stop?
605
00:35:50,899 --> 00:35:52,274
- How should I stop?
- KERMIT: A little bit farther.
606
00:35:52,359 --> 00:35:53,651
- GONZO: Easy, easy.
- FOZZIE: Okay. Here?
607
00:35:53,735 --> 00:35:54,860
(ALL SCREAMING)
608
00:35:55,946 --> 00:35:58,239
- KERMIT: Everybody out of the car.
- FOZZIE: Okay. Chickens first.
609
00:35:58,323 --> 00:36:02,993
Oh, my dear friends. Welcome
to Mad Man Mooney's hubcap heaven.
610
00:36:03,078 --> 00:36:05,579
Today... Today is your lucky day.
611
00:36:05,664 --> 00:36:07,915
- It is?
- Yes, it is. You, for example...
612
00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:10,459
- You're driving the wrong car.
- I am?
613
00:36:10,544 --> 00:36:14,755
I can put you in this German
street machine for only $2,000,
614
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,050
less a $12 trade-in on your old vehicle.
615
00:36:18,134 --> 00:36:20,553
Now, this...
This car is one of the greatest...
616
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:26,767
Detachable fenders for narrow garages.
617
00:36:26,852 --> 00:36:28,018
No, thanks.
618
00:36:28,478 --> 00:36:31,272
Hey, what is this pile of...
Jack, get rid of this heap.
619
00:36:31,356 --> 00:36:32,982
Come out here!
620
00:36:34,276 --> 00:36:36,902
- What? What?
- What's the matter with you?
621
00:36:36,987 --> 00:36:39,154
- That's my jack.
- Oh, hi, Jack.
622
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,866
Jack not name. Jack job.
623
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:46,370
How many times have I told you
not to talk to the customers?
624
00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:48,163
- Gee, I know, but...
- Just move this.
625
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,999
Move it. You understand?
626
00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:53,127
(HUMS)
627
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,963
FOZZIE: Wow. Ah!
628
00:37:03,013 --> 00:37:04,263
But seriously, friends,
629
00:37:04,347 --> 00:37:07,600
Mad Man Mooney doesn't believe
in all that dealing and wheeling.
630
00:37:07,684 --> 00:37:10,269
No, the price on the sticker
is the price you pay.
631
00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:12,605
- And never more and never less.
- (FLY BUZZING)
632
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:14,732
Ha.
633
00:37:14,816 --> 00:37:17,484
We'll take that one for $11.95.
634
00:37:18,153 --> 00:37:19,570
What?
635
00:37:19,821 --> 00:37:23,490
Less our $12 trade-in.
You owe us a nickel.
636
00:37:27,495 --> 00:37:30,205
Oh, thank you very much.
Hey, we're all going to Hollywood.
637
00:37:30,290 --> 00:37:32,666
- Do you wanna come with us?
- Hollywood?
638
00:37:34,127 --> 00:37:37,421
That's strange, he just ran away.
Well, movin' right along, Fozzie.
639
00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:38,839
- Yes, sir.
- (CLUCKING)
640
00:37:40,383 --> 00:37:42,343
(FOZZIE HUMMING)
641
00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:45,763
KERMIT: Hey, watch where
you're going now, Fozzie.
642
00:37:45,847 --> 00:37:47,097
FOZZIE: Yes, sir.
643
00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:49,892
Hey!
644
00:37:49,976 --> 00:37:53,187
Hey, where are you goin'?
Hey! Wait for me.
645
00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:57,816
I wanna go to Hollywood.
Hey, wait for me!
646
00:37:58,610 --> 00:38:01,403
Come on, guys. Wait! Please!
647
00:38:01,488 --> 00:38:03,697
I wanna go to Hollywood.
648
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,201
(FAIRGROUND MUSIC PLAYING)
649
00:38:40,902 --> 00:38:44,113
Testing, one, two, three. Testing.
Can you hear me?
650
00:38:44,197 --> 00:38:45,656
Well, it's time to announce
651
00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:48,909
the winner of this year's
Bogen County beauty pageant.
652
00:38:49,119 --> 00:38:50,828
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
653
00:38:50,912 --> 00:38:54,248
MAN: We sure grow 'em purdy
around here, don't we?
654
00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:56,917
All right. Here they are.
655
00:38:57,002 --> 00:38:59,169
- MAN: The first runner-up...
- What's over there, Kermit?
656
00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:02,131
- MAN: Is Debbie-Sue Anderson.
- Over there. See?
657
00:39:07,971 --> 00:39:09,930
Ah! Nice-looking girls, huh?
658
00:39:10,765 --> 00:39:13,100
- Wow. Nice-looking chickens.
- What?
659
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:16,562
- Oh, no hard feelings, honey.
- MAN: Before announcing the winner,
660
00:39:16,646 --> 00:39:19,440
I think we should thank
the judges of today's contest,
661
00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:22,109
Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy.
662
00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:28,824
You're not gonna believe
who the winner is, folks.
663
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:32,619
- Come, now, Charlie. It's their movie.
- So it is. So it is.
664
00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:40,627
And here she is, folks.
This year's Miss Bogen County...
665
00:39:41,379 --> 00:39:43,881
Miss Piggy!
666
00:39:44,674 --> 00:39:46,008
Oh. Oh.
667
00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:48,427
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
668
00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:50,137
Thank you.
669
00:39:51,139 --> 00:39:54,433
Wow, it's a pig. Did you see that?
670
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:57,644
Thank you, everyone. Thank you.
671
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,816
Oh. Oh, Debbie-Sue.
672
00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:04,943
Oh, Elma-Jane.
673
00:40:05,028 --> 00:40:06,904
Thank you. Thank you.
674
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:08,697
Ohh.
675
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:11,825
Thank you. Oh, oh, thank you.
676
00:40:12,327 --> 00:40:15,913
Oh, kissy-kissy. Kissy-kissy.
Oh, thank you. Oh.
677
00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:18,916
- Kermit, you know...
- Not... Not right now, Fozzie.
678
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,585
I just want to say one thing.
679
00:40:22,504 --> 00:40:25,798
This is the happiest moment of my...
680
00:40:38,853 --> 00:40:42,606
(SINGING) Never before
681
00:40:42,690 --> 00:40:45,859
Have two souls joined so freely
682
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:49,279
And so fast
683
00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:52,616
For me this is the first time
684
00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:54,952
And the last
685
00:40:55,036 --> 00:40:59,289
Is this an angel's wish
686
00:40:59,374 --> 00:41:02,042
For men?
687
00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:05,129
Never before
688
00:41:05,213 --> 00:41:08,340
And never again
689
00:41:09,342 --> 00:41:12,261
And where to find the words
690
00:41:12,345 --> 00:41:14,888
To sing its worth
691
00:41:15,890 --> 00:41:19,184
This love was bound for heaven
692
00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:21,728
Not for Earth
693
00:41:21,813 --> 00:41:24,398
This love was meant
694
00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:28,527
To light the stars
695
00:41:28,611 --> 00:41:30,863
But when we touched
696
00:41:30,947 --> 00:41:35,284
We made it ours
697
00:41:35,368 --> 00:41:37,995
And could they take it back?
698
00:41:38,079 --> 00:41:41,707
Oh, no, they wouldn't dare
699
00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:44,835
Why should they take it back
700
00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:48,505
When there's enough
701
00:41:48,590 --> 00:41:51,884
To share with all the world
702
00:41:51,968 --> 00:41:56,805
And fill the heavens above
703
00:41:56,890 --> 00:41:59,057
With leftover love?
704
00:41:59,142 --> 00:42:02,769
Never before
705
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:05,939
A love that keeps on growing
706
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:09,276
On and on
707
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,987
To fill each lover's heart
708
00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:15,157
And light the dawn
709
00:42:15,241 --> 00:42:19,244
Is this an angel's wish
710
00:42:19,329 --> 00:42:22,122
For men?
711
00:42:22,207 --> 00:42:25,125
Never before
712
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:30,380
And never again
713
00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:37,471
Never before
714
00:42:39,098 --> 00:42:45,479
And never again
715
00:42:53,238 --> 00:42:56,281
(WEDDING BELLS CHIME)
716
00:43:03,998 --> 00:43:06,708
- Oh, oh.
- Thanks. Excuse me.
717
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:09,962
- Oh, yes. Of course.
- Yeah.
718
00:43:10,046 --> 00:43:13,340
Listen, congratulations
on winning the beauty contest.
719
00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:18,553
Thank you. Of course, normally,
I don't do anything so trivial.
720
00:43:18,638 --> 00:43:21,431
- I am an actress-model.
- Oh, is that right?
721
00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:24,351
Well... I...
I'm gonna be a performer, too.
722
00:43:24,477 --> 00:43:25,560
Oh.
723
00:43:25,853 --> 00:43:28,605
Hey, Kermit.
Who's the cute-lookin' pig?
724
00:43:28,690 --> 00:43:30,774
I beg your pardon.
725
00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:33,151
If you were a chicken,
you'd be impeccable.
726
00:43:33,236 --> 00:43:34,278
Gonzo.
727
00:43:34,362 --> 00:43:36,405
Hey, I thought we were
gonna go get some ice cream.
728
00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:38,365
Oh, well, in a minute. I'll join you.
729
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:43,161
Um...
730
00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:46,081
Well...
731
00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:49,668
What are you doing in town,
short, green and handsome?
732
00:43:50,586 --> 00:43:52,671
Well... We're headed west.
733
00:43:54,048 --> 00:43:56,133
- Really?
- Yeah, but...
734
00:43:56,217 --> 00:43:58,593
You know, I really should
join my friends for ice cream.
735
00:43:58,678 --> 00:43:59,678
Oh.
736
00:43:59,971 --> 00:44:02,180
You... You wanna come along?
737
00:44:02,265 --> 00:44:04,516
Me? You mean it? Oh.
738
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,935
I'll be right back. Oh, oh.
739
00:44:07,020 --> 00:44:08,228
Don't move.
740
00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:10,897
Hmm.
741
00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:13,567
Hello. I'd like an ice cream.
742
00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:17,529
What do you want? Chocolate, vanilla,
coffee, peach fudge, rum, banana?
743
00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:18,989
- Honey.
- Honey?
744
00:44:19,073 --> 00:44:20,741
I beg your pardon. I hardly know you.
745
00:44:20,825 --> 00:44:22,159
Ah.
746
00:44:22,744 --> 00:44:26,330
But seriously,
I'd like a honey ice cream cone for me.
747
00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:29,333
And a dragonfly ripple
for my friend, the frog.
748
00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:33,086
Okay. One honey cone for the bear.
749
00:44:33,171 --> 00:44:36,423
- And one dragonfly ripple for the frog.
- Ugh!
750
00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:39,259
- Don't get 'em mixed up.
- Gotcha.
751
00:44:41,596 --> 00:44:43,180
(CLUCKING)
752
00:44:47,018 --> 00:44:48,518
(CAMILLA CLUCKS)
753
00:44:49,187 --> 00:44:50,479
All right, all right, Camilla.
754
00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:53,106
I'll get you a balloon,
but you have to pick the color.
755
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:54,941
Red or green?
756
00:44:55,777 --> 00:44:58,487
- Can I give you a word of advice?
- GONZO: What?
757
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:01,448
Why not take both?
758
00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:04,576
(GASPS)
759
00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:06,495
What a wild idea.
760
00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:09,956
Yeah. A beautiful chicken like that
deserves two balloons.
761
00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:12,417
- You're right.
- I have guys come in all the time.
762
00:45:12,502 --> 00:45:14,461
Sometimes they get a bunch of balloons
for their girls.
763
00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:18,298
- They go gaga for it.
- Gaga? I'll take the whole bunch.
764
00:45:18,383 --> 00:45:20,467
Gaga. Gaga. Aw.
765
00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:27,974
Gonzo?
766
00:45:28,810 --> 00:45:30,102
Wonder...
767
00:45:31,521 --> 00:45:33,522
Where they went? Fozzie?
768
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:35,482
FOZZIE: Kermit. Kermit.
769
00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:38,610
Hey, Kermit. Hey.
Where's your pig friend?
770
00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:41,696
Well, I'm not really sure. She said
she was coming for ice cream, but...
771
00:45:41,781 --> 00:45:43,532
Yoo-hoo. Yoo-hoo.
772
00:45:43,616 --> 00:45:45,492
Here I am. Here I am.
773
00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:48,620
- I'm packed. I'm packed.
- Yeah, so I see.
774
00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:50,580
What for?
775
00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:53,083
You said I could come with you.
776
00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:55,919
Yeah, but...
To buy ice cream, not to Hollywood.
777
00:45:56,003 --> 00:45:59,589
- We're going to Hollywood?
- No. I mean, listen...
778
00:45:59,674 --> 00:46:03,093
When I... When I said...
I mean, well, when you heard...
779
00:46:03,177 --> 00:46:04,594
Oh, brother.
780
00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:06,012
GONZO: Oh! Oh!
781
00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:07,639
(CLUCKING)
782
00:46:07,849 --> 00:46:09,433
What? Gonzo?
783
00:46:09,684 --> 00:46:10,684
(GONZO SCREAMS)
784
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:15,021
- KERMIT: Gonzo! What are you doing?
- MISS PIGGY: What?
785
00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:17,315
About seven knots.
786
00:46:19,861 --> 00:46:22,696
- We'll follow you. To the car.
- Yes, sir.
787
00:46:23,865 --> 00:46:25,824
KERMIT: Gonzo, we're coming!
788
00:46:26,159 --> 00:46:28,368
- KERMIT: Step on it, Fozzie!
- FOZZIE: Yes, sir.
789
00:46:28,453 --> 00:46:30,912
MISS PIGGY: Oh, Kermit.
You're a born leader.
790
00:46:30,997 --> 00:46:32,330
KERMIT: Now, where is he?
791
00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:37,544
(SIGHS) Isn't this great?
Here I am floating in space.
792
00:46:38,379 --> 00:46:40,589
This is the place to be.
793
00:46:40,673 --> 00:46:42,132
Whoopee!
794
00:46:42,592 --> 00:46:44,134
- Fozzie.
- Yes.
795
00:46:44,218 --> 00:46:45,635
- Bear left.
- What?
796
00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:47,304
- Bear left.
- Right, Frog.
797
00:46:47,388 --> 00:46:49,598
- What? That's cute.
- Never mind.
798
00:46:50,975 --> 00:46:53,643
This is...
Look at our little car down there.
799
00:46:53,728 --> 00:46:55,896
Oh, this is like flying.
800
00:46:57,190 --> 00:46:59,357
Hey, this is flying.
801
00:46:59,442 --> 00:47:01,902
I'm flying! Whoopee!
802
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,654
Doc, isn't that a frog up there?
803
00:47:05,573 --> 00:47:07,908
No, that's a frog down here.
804
00:47:08,576 --> 00:47:09,618
KERMIT: He's caught in a crosswind,
Fozzie.
805
00:47:09,702 --> 00:47:10,660
We're gonna lose him.
806
00:47:10,745 --> 00:47:11,828
FOZZIE: Oh, no.
807
00:47:15,208 --> 00:47:18,084
- Oh, what are you doin', Doc?
- I'm goin' after the tires.
808
00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:21,546
KERMIT: We're okay now.
The wind's shifted.
809
00:47:21,631 --> 00:47:23,924
- Wait a minute. Stay with him, Fozzie.
- FOZZIE: Yeah.
810
00:47:24,008 --> 00:47:25,717
- He's right above us.
- GONZO: Whoo-hoo!
811
00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,721
- He's okay.
- Yeah. Hi, Gonzo.
812
00:47:29,805 --> 00:47:31,515
- Fozzie, come back in here.
- What?
813
00:47:31,599 --> 00:47:33,808
- Come back in here.
- Yes, sir.
814
00:47:33,893 --> 00:47:35,185
Oh!
815
00:47:35,269 --> 00:47:36,978
KERMIT: Why don't you
stay on the road?
816
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,438
Kermit!
817
00:47:39,607 --> 00:47:41,066
KERMIT: Look out for the billboard.
818
00:47:44,153 --> 00:47:45,153
MAX: No!
819
00:47:45,238 --> 00:47:46,238
(GUNSHOT)
820
00:47:48,783 --> 00:47:51,076
- Take off, Fozzie.
- Yes, sir.
821
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,036
Come back, you!
822
00:47:53,955 --> 00:47:56,665
No frog's gonna
make a monkey out of me!
823
00:47:59,961 --> 00:48:01,294
I'm back.
824
00:48:02,547 --> 00:48:04,381
I don't understand any of this.
825
00:48:05,049 --> 00:48:07,884
(SCREAMING)
826
00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:13,390
I just gotta catch up with those guys.
827
00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:18,270
MISS PIGGY: Kermit,
you were so courageous.
828
00:48:18,354 --> 00:48:20,188
So magnificent.
829
00:48:20,856 --> 00:48:24,401
- Gee, I don't know what to say.
- Say the bear was magnificent.
830
00:48:24,485 --> 00:48:26,319
After all, I did the driving.
831
00:48:26,404 --> 00:48:29,906
And I took a 100-foot belly flop
onto a moving car.
832
00:48:29,991 --> 00:48:35,328
Yes, but Kermit assumed the awesome
responsibility of command.
833
00:48:36,122 --> 00:48:37,789
- Gee.
- Oh, brother.
834
00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:40,333
Um...
835
00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:43,670
Why don't we stop somewhere
for the night
836
00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,589
and have a quiet little dinner...
837
00:48:45,673 --> 00:48:47,257
For two?
838
00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:50,719
Terrific! I'll eat with you, Miss Piggy.
839
00:48:50,803 --> 00:48:52,846
Not you, buzzard beak.
840
00:48:53,681 --> 00:48:55,599
Just mon capitaine
841
00:48:55,683 --> 00:48:57,475
and moi.
842
00:48:58,728 --> 00:49:02,314
Well... That... That might be nice.
843
00:49:08,529 --> 00:49:10,488
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
844
00:49:14,660 --> 00:49:16,077
Oh. Wow.
845
00:49:17,038 --> 00:49:18,330
Good evening, Miss Piggy.
846
00:49:19,832 --> 00:49:21,583
You look lovely tonight.
847
00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:23,710
Thank you.
848
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:36,723
I'm so sorry if I kept you waiting.
849
00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:38,767
Oh, it... It was worth it.
850
00:49:38,851 --> 00:49:41,019
How charming of vous.
851
00:49:49,195 --> 00:49:53,198
I... I took the liberty
of ordering us some wine.
852
00:49:54,867 --> 00:49:55,867
Mmm.
853
00:49:56,285 --> 00:49:57,577
Oh, waiter.
854
00:49:58,954 --> 00:50:00,121
Yes?
855
00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:02,374
May I help you?
856
00:50:03,334 --> 00:50:05,335
The... The wine, please.
857
00:50:06,754 --> 00:50:07,754
Mmm.
858
00:50:07,838 --> 00:50:11,216
You mad, impetuous thing.
It's champagne.
859
00:50:12,093 --> 00:50:14,844
Not exactly. Sparkling muscatel.
860
00:50:14,929 --> 00:50:17,347
One of the finest wines of Idaho.
861
00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:20,392
Well, you may serve us now, please.
862
00:50:21,018 --> 00:50:23,770
Oh, may I?
863
00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:27,273
- Look how he does that.
- Yep.
864
00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:29,609
- Very suave.
- Mmm.
865
00:50:40,079 --> 00:50:42,789
Don't you want to smell the bottle cap?
866
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:44,040
Oh.
867
00:50:46,127 --> 00:50:48,712
- Mmm-hmm. Smells good.
- Mmm. Yes.
868
00:50:48,796 --> 00:50:51,715
- Would you like to taste it first?
- Well...
869
00:50:52,717 --> 00:50:55,135
I think he's supposed to.
870
00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:57,721
Would you taste it for us, please?
871
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:06,938
Ugh!
872
00:51:11,694 --> 00:51:15,155
- Excellent choice.
- Should be for 95 cents.
873
00:51:15,531 --> 00:51:16,531
Hmm.
874
00:51:19,702 --> 00:51:22,787
- And may we have straws, please?
- Yes.
875
00:51:22,872 --> 00:51:24,789
I expected that.
876
00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:30,170
Thank you. That'll be all for now.
877
00:51:30,588 --> 00:51:32,797
Oh, thank you.
878
00:51:32,882 --> 00:51:35,216
Thank you very much. Thank you.
879
00:51:38,387 --> 00:51:40,722
- Here's to you, Miss Piggy.
- Oh.
880
00:51:40,806 --> 00:51:42,265
Drink up.
881
00:51:47,313 --> 00:51:49,647
(SLURPING)
882
00:51:59,116 --> 00:52:00,116
Oh.
883
00:52:01,285 --> 00:52:03,036
Makes me giggly.
884
00:52:05,039 --> 00:52:06,372
The wine?
885
00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:09,042
Everything.
886
00:52:12,922 --> 00:52:15,465
It's a beautiful evening, isn't it?
887
00:52:16,717 --> 00:52:17,842
Mmm-hmm.
888
00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:22,222
The moon is just lovely.
889
00:52:24,225 --> 00:52:25,225
Mmm-hmm.
890
00:52:27,478 --> 00:52:29,604
You know, Miss Piggy,
891
00:52:29,688 --> 00:52:32,106
the moon doesn't look like you.
892
00:52:34,193 --> 00:52:35,568
(WHIMPERS)
893
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:41,866
- WAITER: Miss Piggy.
- Hmm.
894
00:52:42,576 --> 00:52:43,910
Miss Piggy.
895
00:52:44,537 --> 00:52:47,038
- Are you Miss Piggy?
- Yes.
896
00:52:47,832 --> 00:52:49,624
- Telephone.
- Oh.
897
00:52:52,086 --> 00:52:53,378
Uh... Oh...
898
00:52:53,754 --> 00:52:58,341
Kermie, I did place
one phone call to my agent.
899
00:52:59,677 --> 00:53:02,512
It'll only be an eensy-teensy moment.
900
00:53:07,476 --> 00:53:09,060
What the hey?
901
00:53:13,232 --> 00:53:15,024
(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
902
00:53:22,032 --> 00:53:24,617
(SLOW BLUES PLAYING)
903
00:53:29,915 --> 00:53:32,667
Evenin'. Rowlf, Rowlf the Dog.
904
00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:34,794
Sit yourself down.
905
00:53:34,879 --> 00:53:37,672
- Kermit, Kermit the Frog.
- Pleased to meet you.
906
00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:44,637
I'm no Heifetz, but I get by.
907
00:53:45,306 --> 00:53:47,056
That was... That was very nice.
908
00:53:47,141 --> 00:53:49,309
- (SNIFFS)
- Oh.
909
00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:50,935
A broken heart, right?
910
00:53:51,937 --> 00:53:54,272
- Does it show?
- Listen.
911
00:53:54,356 --> 00:53:57,650
When you've been ticklin' the ivories
as long as I have,
912
00:53:57,735 --> 00:54:00,695
you've seen a broken heart
for every drop of rain,
913
00:54:00,779 --> 00:54:03,656
a shattered dream for every fallen star.
914
00:54:05,242 --> 00:54:07,702
Exactly. She just walked out on me.
915
00:54:08,537 --> 00:54:11,539
Yeah? Typical. That's why I live alone.
916
00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:14,125
- You do, huh?
- You bet.
917
00:54:14,835 --> 00:54:17,629
I finish work, I go home, read a book,
918
00:54:17,713 --> 00:54:21,382
have a couple of beers,
take myself for a walk and go to bed.
919
00:54:21,967 --> 00:54:23,134
Nice and simple.
920
00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:25,970
Stay away from women, that's my motto.
921
00:54:26,764 --> 00:54:30,433
- But I can't.
- Neither can I. That's my trouble.
922
00:54:32,645 --> 00:54:34,604
(SINGING) You can't live with 'em
923
00:54:34,688 --> 00:54:37,273
You can't live without 'em
924
00:54:37,358 --> 00:54:41,486
There's somethin'
irresistible-ish about 'em
925
00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:45,073
We grin and bear it
'cause the nights are long
926
00:54:45,157 --> 00:54:47,909
I hope that
somethin' better comes along
927
00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:51,245
I see what you mean.
928
00:54:51,330 --> 00:54:53,289
It's no good complainin'
929
00:54:53,374 --> 00:54:55,792
And pointless to holler
930
00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:59,212
If she's a beauty
She'll get under your collar
931
00:54:59,922 --> 00:55:02,840
She made a monkey
out of old King Kong
932
00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:06,302
I hope that
somethin' better comes along
933
00:55:08,889 --> 00:55:11,349
Still, it's fun when they're fetchin'
934
00:55:11,433 --> 00:55:17,146
And agree to see an etching
that you keep at your lily pad
935
00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:20,900
There is no solution
It's part of evolution
936
00:55:20,985 --> 00:55:25,571
The pitter-patter of souls
The little feet of tadpoles
937
00:55:25,656 --> 00:55:28,116
Rowlf, tadpoles don't have feet.
938
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:31,452
Oh, sorry about that. Two, three, four.
939
00:55:31,537 --> 00:55:35,790
There's no limitation
to mixin' and matchin'
940
00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:39,836
Some get an itchin'
for a critter they've been scratchin'
941
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:43,339
A skunk was badgered
The results were strong
942
00:55:43,424 --> 00:55:47,343
I hope that somethin' better
943
00:55:47,428 --> 00:55:51,472
I hope that
somethin' better comes along
944
00:55:53,851 --> 00:55:55,935
(SCATTING)
945
00:56:01,984 --> 00:56:03,860
WAITER: Phone call for Kermit the Frog.
946
00:56:04,528 --> 00:56:06,863
- Are you Kermit the Frog?
- Yeah.
947
00:56:06,947 --> 00:56:08,322
Phone.
948
00:56:11,827 --> 00:56:12,827
Huh.
949
00:56:13,579 --> 00:56:18,124
It's not often you see a guy that green
have the blues that bad.
950
00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:23,796
- Hello.
- Kermie, please...
951
00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:29,093
- Piggy, is that you?
- HOPPER: Yes, that's her.
952
00:56:29,178 --> 00:56:33,389
And this is Doc Hopper.
You listen, Frog. And listen good.
953
00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:36,350
Step outside the motel right now.
954
00:56:36,935 --> 00:56:38,311
My guys will meet you there.
955
00:56:39,521 --> 00:56:41,981
Well... What if I don't?
956
00:56:42,483 --> 00:56:45,526
Then your girlfriend
will be ham-hocked by breakfast.
957
00:56:45,611 --> 00:56:47,070
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
958
00:56:47,154 --> 00:56:49,322
Kermie. Don't, don't, don't, don't.
959
00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:50,865
(LAUGHS)
960
00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:05,797
Uh, uh...
961
00:57:05,881 --> 00:57:08,049
Are you the guys I'm supposed to meet?
962
00:57:10,761 --> 00:57:14,222
That's good, Glen. That's good.
That's nice and tight.
963
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:20,019
- The Professor's here, Doc.
- Show him in. Show him in.
964
00:57:21,313 --> 00:57:25,108
Kermie, I'm not a bit worried.
965
00:57:25,192 --> 00:57:28,611
I know you're planning
something bold and clever.
966
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:32,031
Well, I got us this far, didn't I?
967
00:57:34,201 --> 00:57:36,285
(LAUGHS)
968
00:57:36,912 --> 00:57:39,330
- How are you?
- Ah, Professor Krassman.
969
00:57:39,414 --> 00:57:42,667
It's good to see you, Doc,
you little rustic devil, you.
970
00:57:42,751 --> 00:57:44,418
Where's my victim?
971
00:57:44,503 --> 00:57:46,504
I mean, patient?
972
00:57:46,588 --> 00:57:50,716
Step this way, Professor.
Let me introduce you to your patient.
973
00:57:51,718 --> 00:57:53,302
Professor Krassman is the world's
974
00:57:53,387 --> 00:57:56,305
leadin' authority
on mind control in frogs.
975
00:57:56,390 --> 00:58:01,018
It's a very rapidly growing field.
You like garlic, don't you?
976
00:58:01,103 --> 00:58:04,021
Tell us what you're gonna do
to our little Kermit.
977
00:58:04,106 --> 00:58:08,651
Well, we're going to perform
an electronic cerebrectomy.
978
00:58:08,735 --> 00:58:09,944
- Hmm?
- A what?
979
00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:12,238
- (GASPS)
- Electronic cerebrectomy.
980
00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:16,659
What's that?
981
00:58:16,743 --> 00:58:20,204
It's something so sensational
that you'll have to hold on to your hat.
982
00:58:20,289 --> 00:58:21,330
Yes?
983
00:58:21,415 --> 00:58:23,499
When a German scientist says,
"Hold on to your hat,"
984
00:58:23,584 --> 00:58:24,959
it's not casual conversation.
985
00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:27,545
Hold on to your hat! Hat! Hold! Good.
986
00:58:27,629 --> 00:58:31,007
Now, what we're going to do is bring out
a machine that's going to wow you.
987
00:58:31,091 --> 00:58:33,843
Bertram! Bertram, you...
Bring out the machine!
988
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:36,179
Wait till you see this.
You think we're sleeping in Düsseldorf?
989
00:58:36,263 --> 00:58:38,139
You think
we're taking a nap in Cologne?
990
00:58:38,223 --> 00:58:41,517
No, we're working at night.
Each night a new dial, a new knob...
991
00:58:41,602 --> 00:58:42,935
Electronic...
992
00:58:44,188 --> 00:58:48,107
Cerebrectomy, cerebrectomy.
Electronic cerebrectomy.
993
00:58:48,817 --> 00:58:52,028
- What does it do?
- What does it do? What does it do?
994
00:58:52,112 --> 00:58:54,989
It turns the brains into guacamole.
995
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:57,533
(ALL LAUGHING)
996
00:58:58,118 --> 00:59:00,536
First of all, I'll pull out of this, okay?
997
00:59:00,621 --> 00:59:01,954
Wonderful.
998
00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:03,164
(GRUNTS)
999
00:59:03,248 --> 00:59:04,248
(SIGHS)
1000
00:59:04,583 --> 00:59:05,625
Second?
1001
00:59:09,338 --> 00:59:11,464
Halt! Argh!
1002
00:59:11,965 --> 00:59:14,342
I detest
the surfeit of provincial laughter.
1003
00:59:14,426 --> 00:59:18,387
Now, we take your friend,
the little F-O-R-G,
1004
00:59:18,472 --> 00:59:21,015
put him in the chair,
clamp on the terminals,
1005
00:59:21,099 --> 00:59:23,184
drop the electronic yarmulke,
1006
00:59:23,268 --> 00:59:26,187
and throw,
what we call in German, the switch.
1007
00:59:26,313 --> 00:59:28,231
(LAUGHING)
1008
00:59:29,149 --> 00:59:33,986
Yes, you little green devil. Soon it'll be
a hot time for the old skull tonight.
1009
00:59:35,656 --> 00:59:36,822
Thank you, Herr Machine.
1010
00:59:37,115 --> 00:59:38,908
Now, the frog will do your bidding.
1011
00:59:38,992 --> 00:59:40,618
He will do your every whim,
your every wish.
1012
00:59:40,702 --> 00:59:42,745
He will
do your television commercial, yes.
1013
00:59:42,829 --> 00:59:47,166
He will sell your frogs' legs.
1014
00:59:47,251 --> 00:59:49,377
- Zaparoonie.
- Head full of jelly.
1015
00:59:49,461 --> 00:59:52,964
- A noggin full of library paste.
- Let's fry them brains!
1016
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,341
Professor Krassman,
you've got a fun job.
1017
00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:56,592
I love it, I love it.
1018
00:59:56,677 --> 01:00:00,471
If I can inflict a little pain during
the afternoon, I sleep good at night.
1019
01:00:00,555 --> 01:00:03,015
- Well, we'll let you get on with it, then.
- My pleasure.
1020
01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:04,267
Max.
1021
01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:09,689
I'll be back later
to pick up what's left of the frog.
1022
01:00:09,773 --> 01:00:10,982
What's left of the frog?
1023
01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:13,943
You can have everything,
excuse the brain.
1024
01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:16,320
All right. Bring over the frog.
1025
01:00:16,947 --> 01:00:18,781
Oh, Kermie.
1026
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:20,449
Whatever happens next,
1027
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:24,328
I wouldn't give up this evening together
for anything.
1028
01:00:24,413 --> 01:00:26,872
- Would you?
- Make me an offer.
1029
01:00:30,502 --> 01:00:32,128
Oh, Kermie.
1030
01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:33,671
- Hey.
- Okay.
1031
01:00:33,755 --> 01:00:35,506
I got him. I got him.
1032
01:00:35,590 --> 01:00:37,967
Good, good, good, good, good.
1033
01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:40,594
And why don't we
take a little seat, Kermit?
1034
01:00:42,014 --> 01:00:43,889
Hands down.
1035
01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:46,142
- Get the feet into place.
- (WHIMPERING)
1036
01:00:46,226 --> 01:00:51,355
Will you stop whimpering?
Go out like a frog, not a little toad.
1037
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:54,942
Okay, Herr Machine.
This is big time here.
1038
01:00:55,027 --> 01:00:56,944
Ready to go to work? Hand clamps!
1039
01:00:58,447 --> 01:00:59,905
Foot clamps!
1040
01:01:00,574 --> 01:01:02,408
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
1041
01:01:02,576 --> 01:01:05,244
You can struggle all you want now, frog.
1042
01:01:05,329 --> 01:01:07,580
It'll do you very little good.
1043
01:01:08,749 --> 01:01:13,419
All right. And now it's time
to drop the electronic beanie.
1044
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:19,175
Soon, there'll be enough voltage
coursing through your little frog brain
1045
01:01:19,259 --> 01:01:21,969
to light up Cincinnati.
1046
01:01:22,054 --> 01:01:25,639
Oh, please, please. Not my frog. Please!
1047
01:01:25,724 --> 01:01:29,852
- Say goodbye to the frog, pig.
- Why should I?
1048
01:01:29,936 --> 01:01:34,982
Because in 10 seconds,
he won't know you from kosher bacon.
1049
01:01:35,067 --> 01:01:36,609
That does it!
1050
01:01:38,904 --> 01:01:41,113
Hi-yah!
1051
01:01:43,033 --> 01:01:44,325
Hi! Hi!
1052
01:01:44,409 --> 01:01:45,618
Hi-yah!
1053
01:01:45,952 --> 01:01:48,788
Hii-yah!
1054
01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:51,332
Hii-yah! Hi! Hi!
1055
01:01:51,583 --> 01:01:52,917
Hii-yah!
1056
01:01:53,210 --> 01:01:54,418
Hi-yah!
1057
01:02:02,260 --> 01:02:05,846
What the heck's goin' on here?
A pig that goes bananas?
1058
01:02:05,931 --> 01:02:07,306
What is this? A luau?
1059
01:02:08,141 --> 01:02:10,476
- MAN: Where'd she go?
- MISS PIGGY: Oh, boys.
1060
01:02:11,561 --> 01:02:13,521
- There she is.
- Get her!
1061
01:02:15,190 --> 01:02:18,150
I must reach the switch. I must...
1062
01:02:18,235 --> 01:02:20,194
- Switch. I must reach...
- Oh, no.
1063
01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:27,159
Hi-yah!
1064
01:02:27,994 --> 01:02:29,995
- Now, Kermie.
- Oh, thank you.
1065
01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:33,541
(SCREAMS)
1066
01:02:34,501 --> 01:02:37,169
Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.
1067
01:02:41,258 --> 01:02:42,550
Well...
1068
01:02:43,343 --> 01:02:45,344
Shall we go now, Kermie?
1069
01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:47,138
(PHONE RINGING)
1070
01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:49,682
Well...
1071
01:02:50,475 --> 01:02:52,184
Just a second.
1072
01:02:53,687 --> 01:02:55,062
Hello.
1073
01:02:57,607 --> 01:03:00,109
- Piggy, it's your agent.
- Ooh.
1074
01:03:01,486 --> 01:03:02,820
Thank you.
1075
01:03:03,363 --> 01:03:04,447
(CLEARS THROAT)
1076
01:03:05,198 --> 01:03:07,199
(LOW VOICE)
Yeah, Morty, what have you got?
1077
01:03:07,284 --> 01:03:08,701
Commercial?
1078
01:03:10,162 --> 01:03:11,954
How much? Mmm-hmm.
1079
01:03:12,372 --> 01:03:13,581
When?
1080
01:03:14,166 --> 01:03:15,374
Take it.
1081
01:03:18,795 --> 01:03:20,004
(NORMAL VOICE) Um.
1082
01:03:24,885 --> 01:03:26,218
Goodbye.
1083
01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:32,558
(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)
1084
01:03:38,982 --> 01:03:40,274
(MUSIC WINDS DOWN)
1085
01:03:44,821 --> 01:03:46,989
- FOZZIE: What's going on?
- Hey, what happened?
1086
01:03:47,532 --> 01:03:51,785
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
1087
01:03:51,870 --> 01:03:55,706
Irritated!
1088
01:03:55,790 --> 01:03:58,250
Don't worry, Animal.
Your big scene is coming up.
1089
01:03:58,335 --> 01:04:02,171
Yeah, yeah. Just be cool
and eat another seat cushion.
1090
01:04:02,255 --> 01:04:03,756
Seat cushion!
1091
01:04:07,594 --> 01:04:09,553
Well, how do you like the film?
1092
01:04:09,638 --> 01:04:12,515
I've seen detergents
that leave a better film than this.
1093
01:04:12,599 --> 01:04:13,724
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1094
01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:16,018
Well, I don't care
what anybody else says.
1095
01:04:16,102 --> 01:04:18,020
I'm having a great time.
1096
01:04:18,104 --> 01:04:19,271
Oh, good.
1097
01:04:21,107 --> 01:04:23,150
Der flim is okey-dokey.
1098
01:04:23,235 --> 01:04:26,445
- Good. Roll film.
- Flim is rolling.
1099
01:04:27,781 --> 01:04:29,281
- GONZO: Quiet.
- FOZZIE: Quiet.
1100
01:04:30,283 --> 01:04:31,283
FOZZIE: Quiet, Gonzo.
1101
01:04:31,952 --> 01:04:35,287
- This is the patriotic part.
- Should we stand up?
1102
01:04:35,372 --> 01:04:36,664
No.
1103
01:04:38,083 --> 01:04:42,378
FOZZIE: O beautiful for spacious skies
1104
01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:46,549
For amber waves of grain
1105
01:04:46,633 --> 01:04:50,886
For purple mountain majesties
1106
01:04:50,971 --> 01:04:55,349
Above the fruited plains
1107
01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:59,728
America, America
1108
01:04:59,813 --> 01:05:04,108
God shed his grace on thee
1109
01:05:04,192 --> 01:05:08,612
And crown thy good with brotherhood
1110
01:05:08,697 --> 01:05:14,702
From sea to shining sea
1111
01:05:17,956 --> 01:05:21,625
Patriotism swells
in the heart of the American bear.
1112
01:05:36,349 --> 01:05:38,267
Hold it, boys. Hold it!
1113
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:40,686
Hold your fire!
1114
01:05:42,230 --> 01:05:45,524
Boys, no reflection
on the job you've been doin',
1115
01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:48,027
but I decided to bring in a specialist.
1116
01:05:58,913 --> 01:06:01,665
Now, boys, this is Snake Walker.
1117
01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:05,085
Tell 'em what you do, Snake.
1118
01:06:06,921 --> 01:06:08,505
Kill frogs.
1119
01:06:15,930 --> 01:06:17,389
FOZZIE: How long is it to Hollywood?
1120
01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:19,141
KERMIT:
We gotta be there by tomorrow.
1121
01:06:19,225 --> 01:06:22,353
GONZO: Hey, Kermit. Are you gonna
get an agent like that pig had?
1122
01:06:22,437 --> 01:06:25,189
FOZZIE: Gonzo, you know
he's touchy about that.
1123
01:06:26,107 --> 01:06:28,692
- ROWLF: Hey, who's that?
- KERMIT: I don't believe that.
1124
01:06:29,653 --> 01:06:30,861
- KERMIT: Piggy?
- FOZZIE: Kermit.
1125
01:06:30,945 --> 01:06:32,154
Kermit.
1126
01:06:33,156 --> 01:06:35,532
- That's Piggy.
- Yeah, I know.
1127
01:06:36,409 --> 01:06:38,911
ROWLF: Hey, do you think
we should help her with her bag?
1128
01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:40,579
- ALL: No.
- Kermie.
1129
01:06:40,747 --> 01:06:42,247
(MISS PIGGY GRUNTS)
1130
01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:47,336
Kermie,
what an unbelievable coincidence.
1131
01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:49,088
FOZZIE: Hmm.
1132
01:06:51,716 --> 01:06:53,759
Hello again. It's me.
1133
01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:57,721
Would you hold my vanity case?
Hi-yah!
1134
01:06:59,140 --> 01:07:00,849
- Well.
- Well, what?
1135
01:07:01,768 --> 01:07:04,895
So much has happened to me
since I saw you last.
1136
01:07:05,689 --> 01:07:08,941
- Yeah, sure.
- Frankly, Miss Piggy, I don't give a hoot.
1137
01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:13,445
My name is Rowlf the Dog and I was
playing the piano... Oh, never mind.
1138
01:07:15,573 --> 01:07:17,449
- Kermie.
- Yeah?
1139
01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:21,328
- I missed you.
- Yeah.
1140
01:07:23,623 --> 01:07:26,250
Don't I get one kissy-kissy?
1141
01:07:26,793 --> 01:07:30,087
Uh, no, I... I don't think so, Miss Piggy.
1142
01:07:30,171 --> 01:07:32,297
Just one little hug.
1143
01:07:32,841 --> 01:07:33,966
FOZZIE: Hmmm.
1144
01:07:35,468 --> 01:07:37,636
- Oh, Piggy.
- Kermie.
1145
01:07:39,639 --> 01:07:40,681
HOPPER: (ON RADIO)
You've been listenin'
1146
01:07:40,765 --> 01:07:42,224
to music to hug frogs by.
1147
01:07:42,308 --> 01:07:43,851
And this is Doc Hopper sayin' that
1148
01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:46,895
if Kermit the Frog don't
stop right now and call me,
1149
01:07:46,980 --> 01:07:49,231
and agree to be
my national spokesman,
1150
01:07:49,315 --> 01:07:51,024
he will soon be a frog burger.
1151
01:07:51,735 --> 01:07:54,111
Kermie. Ah!
1152
01:07:54,487 --> 01:07:55,988
We'll be okay.
1153
01:07:56,740 --> 01:07:58,157
Mon capitaine.
1154
01:07:58,992 --> 01:08:01,785
(ENGINE SPLUTTERS)
1155
01:08:03,371 --> 01:08:06,206
- FOZZIE: Oh, boy. Yeah, what?
- KERMIT: Fozzie?
1156
01:08:06,291 --> 01:08:08,917
FOZZIE: No problem. It's okay, it's okay.
1157
01:08:09,002 --> 01:08:11,170
No problem. Okay, all right.
1158
01:08:12,297 --> 01:08:13,922
- Listen...
- KERMIT: Oh, boy.
1159
01:08:14,007 --> 01:08:16,216
FOZZIE: Oh, we're in trouble.
1160
01:08:17,093 --> 01:08:19,720
I wish I still had my Studebaker.
1161
01:08:19,804 --> 01:08:22,431
ROWLF: Probably somethin' broken
about the engine, I think.
1162
01:08:22,515 --> 01:08:25,642
GONZO: Hey, don't worry.
Someone's bound to come along.
1163
01:08:45,205 --> 01:08:48,707
Well, I guess we blew it, huh, Gonzo?
1164
01:08:48,792 --> 01:08:50,292
Yeah.
1165
01:08:51,753 --> 01:08:55,380
But the sky sure is beautiful out here.
1166
01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:57,341
Look at that.
1167
01:08:59,552 --> 01:09:01,178
We...
1168
01:09:01,262 --> 01:09:04,640
We're gonna miss
the auditions tomorrow, right?
1169
01:09:08,019 --> 01:09:09,478
Kermit?
1170
01:09:14,943 --> 01:09:18,612
GONZO: Boy,
you could get lost in a sky like that.
1171
01:09:20,740 --> 01:09:23,200
I wish I had those balloons again.
1172
01:09:24,536 --> 01:09:26,995
So much for Hollywood.
1173
01:09:28,039 --> 01:09:31,083
Listen, gang.
I never promised we'd make it.
1174
01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:34,419
I never promised anything.
1175
01:09:34,587 --> 01:09:37,756
(PLAYING HARMONICA)
1176
01:09:42,887 --> 01:09:46,098
(SINGING) This looks familiar
1177
01:09:47,267 --> 01:09:50,477
Vaguely familiar
1178
01:09:51,312 --> 01:09:54,982
Almost unreal, yet
1179
01:09:55,066 --> 01:09:59,361
It's too soon to feel yet
1180
01:09:59,445 --> 01:10:02,698
Close to my soul
1181
01:10:02,782 --> 01:10:06,577
And yet so far away
1182
01:10:07,579 --> 01:10:12,916
I'm going to go back there someday
1183
01:10:16,379 --> 01:10:20,549
Sun rises, night falls
1184
01:10:20,633 --> 01:10:24,177
Sometimes the sky calls
1185
01:10:25,805 --> 01:10:28,432
Is that a song there?
1186
01:10:28,516 --> 01:10:31,810
And do I belong there?
1187
01:10:32,645 --> 01:10:36,481
I've never been there
1188
01:10:36,566 --> 01:10:39,651
But I know the way
1189
01:10:40,653 --> 01:10:46,366
I'm going to go back there someday
1190
01:10:48,870 --> 01:10:52,414
Come and go with me
1191
01:10:52,498 --> 01:10:56,376
It's more fun to share
1192
01:10:56,461 --> 01:11:00,255
We'll both be completely
1193
01:11:00,340 --> 01:11:04,134
At home in midair
1194
01:11:04,218 --> 01:11:08,013
We're flyin', not walking
1195
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:11,558
On featherless wings
1196
01:11:11,643 --> 01:11:15,520
We can hold on to love
1197
01:11:15,605 --> 01:11:19,608
Like invisible strings
1198
01:11:24,447 --> 01:11:28,659
There's not a word yet
1199
01:11:28,743 --> 01:11:33,121
For old friends who've just met
1200
01:11:33,206 --> 01:11:37,292
Part heaven, part space
1201
01:11:37,377 --> 01:11:41,797
Or have I found my place?
1202
01:11:41,881 --> 01:11:45,926
You can just visit
1203
01:11:46,010 --> 01:11:50,389
But I plan to stay
1204
01:11:50,473 --> 01:11:54,726
I'm going to go back there
1205
01:11:54,811 --> 01:11:57,646
Someday
1206
01:12:00,400 --> 01:12:05,237
I'm going to go back there
1207
01:12:05,321 --> 01:12:08,156
Someday
1208
01:12:42,775 --> 01:12:45,235
I didn't promise anybody anything.
1209
01:12:46,612 --> 01:12:49,573
What do I know
about Hollywood anyway?
1210
01:12:49,657 --> 01:12:53,618
Just the dreams I got from sitting
through too many double features.
1211
01:12:53,745 --> 01:12:56,621
KERMIT'S VOICE: So, why did you
leave the swamp in the first place?
1212
01:12:56,706 --> 01:12:59,708
'Cause some agent fella
said I had talent.
1213
01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:01,835
He probably says that to everybody.
1214
01:13:01,919 --> 01:13:04,504
On the other hand,
if you hadn't left the swamp,
1215
01:13:04,589 --> 01:13:07,215
you'd be feeling
pretty miserable anyhow.
1216
01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:10,635
Yeah, but then it would
just be me feeling miserable.
1217
01:13:11,554 --> 01:13:14,014
Now I got a lady pig and a bear,
1218
01:13:14,098 --> 01:13:17,976
and a chicken, a dog, a thing,
whatever Gonzo is.
1219
01:13:18,061 --> 01:13:19,686
He's a little like a turkey.
1220
01:13:19,771 --> 01:13:23,065
Yeah. A little like a turkey,
but not much.
1221
01:13:23,149 --> 01:13:24,232
No, I guess not.
1222
01:13:24,317 --> 01:13:26,818
Anyhow, I brought 'em all out here
into the middle of nowhere.
1223
01:13:27,236 --> 01:13:28,820
It's all my fault.
1224
01:13:29,489 --> 01:13:33,408
Still, whether you promised them
something or not,
1225
01:13:33,493 --> 01:13:36,328
you gotta remember
they wanted to come.
1226
01:13:37,205 --> 01:13:39,706
But that's because they believed in me.
1227
01:13:39,791 --> 01:13:42,334
No, they believed in the dream.
1228
01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:44,920
- Well, so do I, but...
- You do?
1229
01:13:45,671 --> 01:13:47,964
Yeah. Of course I do.
1230
01:13:48,049 --> 01:13:50,467
- Well, then?
- Well, then...
1231
01:13:51,844 --> 01:13:55,764
I guess I was wrong
when I said I never promised anyone.
1232
01:13:55,848 --> 01:13:57,682
I promised me.
1233
01:14:02,522 --> 01:14:04,106
(HARMONICA PLAYING)
1234
01:14:07,652 --> 01:14:09,319
Hey. Now, wait a minute.
1235
01:14:09,403 --> 01:14:11,988
(ELECTRIC MAYHEM PLAYING)
1236
01:14:24,335 --> 01:14:25,794
Hey, what... What's happening?
1237
01:14:25,878 --> 01:14:28,630
At the moment, we're what's happening.
1238
01:14:30,591 --> 01:14:33,385
Oh, great. Wonderful. Yeah.
1239
01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:35,804
Zoot, hey, Zoot.
1240
01:14:35,888 --> 01:14:37,472
Hold it, hold it.
1241
01:14:37,557 --> 01:14:39,683
Animal, cool it back there.
1242
01:14:39,767 --> 01:14:41,143
Yeah.
1243
01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,478
All right, yeah.
1244
01:14:44,438 --> 01:14:46,314
Hey, listen, it's wonderful
to see you guys,
1245
01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:47,774
but how did you ever find us?
1246
01:14:47,859 --> 01:14:50,986
Oh, easy.
We just read the screenplay you left us.
1247
01:14:51,070 --> 01:14:54,489
"Exterior. Desert. Night."
We knew right where you were.
1248
01:14:54,574 --> 01:14:56,491
Like, can you get behind it?
1249
01:14:56,576 --> 01:14:59,161
Hey, listen. When do you dudes
have to be at that audition?
1250
01:14:59,245 --> 01:15:01,288
2:00 tomorrow afternoon.
1251
01:15:01,372 --> 01:15:04,749
Well, climb aboard the bus. We'll have
breakfast at Hollywood and Vine.
1252
01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:06,918
(CHEERING)
1253
01:15:11,591 --> 01:15:13,884
ALL: Movin' right along
1254
01:15:14,302 --> 01:15:15,802
FLOYD: Oh, yeah.
1255
01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:18,305
TEETH: Here we go.
1256
01:15:20,683 --> 01:15:23,018
Movin' right along
1257
01:15:33,112 --> 01:15:36,531
Kermie, whisper sweet nothings
into my ear.
1258
01:15:37,575 --> 01:15:39,201
Motorcycle cop.
1259
01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:41,369
Motorcycle cop is a sweet nothing?
1260
01:15:41,454 --> 01:15:43,830
A motorcycle cop is chasing us.
1261
01:15:44,081 --> 01:15:45,415
(SIREN BLARING)
1262
01:15:46,042 --> 01:15:50,212
- Hey, Dr. Teeth, you better pull over.
- Hey, easier done than said.
1263
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:53,256
FLOYD: Uh-oh.
1264
01:15:54,091 --> 01:15:55,634
JANICE: Drag city.
1265
01:15:55,718 --> 01:15:57,052
What do we do now, huh?
1266
01:15:58,304 --> 01:15:59,554
Oh, dear.
1267
01:16:00,806 --> 01:16:03,058
TEETH: Hey, hey.
The man with the badge.
1268
01:16:03,142 --> 01:16:06,436
The police, the cops, the fuzz, the P.I...
1269
01:16:06,520 --> 01:16:09,648
- Don't you dare!
- I wouldn't think of it.
1270
01:16:15,112 --> 01:16:17,113
Did we do something wrong, Officer?
1271
01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:19,157
(SHOCKED GASPS)
1272
01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:22,160
- Kermit, it's him.
- Okay, gang. Let him explain.
1273
01:16:22,245 --> 01:16:25,247
This whole disguise
is only so I could warn you.
1274
01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:27,374
Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.
1275
01:16:27,458 --> 01:16:29,417
I never thought that Doc
was gonna hurt Kermit.
1276
01:16:29,502 --> 01:16:31,586
I only thought he was
gonna lean on him a little.
1277
01:16:31,671 --> 01:16:34,506
But now he's got this frog killer
in from the coast,
1278
01:16:34,590 --> 01:16:36,299
and the man is deadly.
1279
01:16:36,384 --> 01:16:38,677
FOZZIE: Oh, no, Kermit.
What are we gonna do?
1280
01:16:38,761 --> 01:16:41,513
- It's time to beat feet, green stuff.
- FOZZIE: Let's get out of here, Kermit.
1281
01:16:41,597 --> 01:16:44,266
I love it.
Chase music is one of our best riffs.
1282
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:46,810
Hold it, Dr. Teeth. What's up ahead?
1283
01:16:46,894 --> 01:16:50,063
- It's only an old ghost town.
- Fine.
1284
01:16:50,147 --> 01:16:53,441
Listen, you go back and tell Doc Hopper
I'll be waiting for him there.
1285
01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:54,901
- What?
- What?
1286
01:16:54,986 --> 01:16:56,695
- Kermit, you'll get killed.
- Oh, please, no.
1287
01:16:56,779 --> 01:16:59,406
- FOZZIE: Kermit, you can't do that.
- Now, listen, guys.
1288
01:16:59,490 --> 01:17:02,617
Listen, I can't spend my whole life
running away from a bully.
1289
01:17:02,702 --> 01:17:04,703
It's time for a showdown.
1290
01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:23,888
Showdown! Showdown!
1291
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,152
Uh, hey, listen,
I'm gonna check things out.
1292
01:17:37,236 --> 01:17:39,237
- Everybody stay in the bus, okay?
- Mmm-hmm.
1293
01:17:41,157 --> 01:17:42,824
(ROARS)
1294
01:17:43,701 --> 01:17:46,911
Hey, Kermit.
Can I take Animal for a walk?
1295
01:17:46,996 --> 01:17:48,997
He needs some exercise.
1296
01:17:49,081 --> 01:17:50,707
Yeah, yeah, sure.
1297
01:18:05,056 --> 01:18:06,765
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1298
01:18:07,808 --> 01:18:09,851
What is that?
1299
01:18:09,935 --> 01:18:14,481
That's one of my latest inventions.
A musical rotating rain barrel.
1300
01:18:14,899 --> 01:18:16,649
Oh, oh, yeah.
1301
01:18:16,734 --> 01:18:20,528
You see, I'm Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
and this is my assistant, Beaker.
1302
01:18:20,613 --> 01:18:21,571
(MEEPS)
1303
01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:24,366
We live here
perfecting useful inventions.
1304
01:18:24,450 --> 01:18:26,451
- Come in, come in.
- (MEEPING)
1305
01:18:31,207 --> 01:18:33,249
BUNSEN:
Welcome to our laboratory.
1306
01:18:36,629 --> 01:18:38,755
Please don't touch anything.
1307
01:18:41,675 --> 01:18:42,717
Uh...
1308
01:18:42,802 --> 01:18:46,137
- Is this the only street into town?
- Yes, yes.
1309
01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:49,516
Hey, what are you dudes doin' in here?
1310
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:54,187
I'm so glad you asked.
We're perfecting our latest invention.
1311
01:18:54,271 --> 01:18:56,064
Insta-Grow pills.
1312
01:18:57,066 --> 01:19:00,652
Yeah, well, what in the name
of Fats Waller is that?
1313
01:19:02,113 --> 01:19:04,072
A 4-foot prune.
1314
01:19:04,657 --> 01:19:06,491
A 4-foot prune?
1315
01:19:07,660 --> 01:19:10,912
Yeah, man, well,
what else do these pills make big?
1316
01:19:10,996 --> 01:19:15,208
Oh, they work on anything,
but the effect is sadly temporary.
1317
01:19:15,292 --> 01:19:17,252
Sadly temporary. (SIGHS)
1318
01:19:17,336 --> 01:19:18,837
(MEEPS)
1319
01:19:25,428 --> 01:19:26,678
Oh, no!
1320
01:19:27,513 --> 01:19:29,347
SCOOTER: Hey, Kermit.
Here comes Doc Hopper.
1321
01:19:29,932 --> 01:19:32,183
I know. I'll be ready for him.
1322
01:19:37,273 --> 01:19:40,150
Okay, Frog. Where are you?
1323
01:19:42,069 --> 01:19:44,028
KERMIT: I'm here.
I'll meet you in the middle of the street.
1324
01:19:44,572 --> 01:19:46,281
Oh, yeah?
1325
01:19:46,365 --> 01:19:48,074
KERMIT: Man to frog.
1326
01:19:48,534 --> 01:19:49,868
(CHIMES)
1327
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:10,555
- KERMIT: All right, Hopper.
- All right, Frog.
1328
01:20:11,891 --> 01:20:13,558
One last chance.
1329
01:20:14,685 --> 01:20:18,062
You gonna do my TV commercials
live or stuffed?
1330
01:20:18,230 --> 01:20:19,772
(GUNS COCKING)
1331
01:20:21,775 --> 01:20:23,485
Hopper, what's the matter with you?
1332
01:20:23,569 --> 01:20:25,987
You gotta be crazy,
chasin' me halfway across the country.
1333
01:20:26,071 --> 01:20:27,489
Why are you doing this to me?
1334
01:20:29,408 --> 01:20:33,036
'Cause all my life, I wanted
to own a thousand frog leg restaurants,
1335
01:20:33,120 --> 01:20:34,621
and you're the key, greenie.
1336
01:20:34,997 --> 01:20:36,873
Yeah, well, I've got a dream, too.
1337
01:20:36,957 --> 01:20:40,460
But it's about singing and dancing
and making people happy.
1338
01:20:40,544 --> 01:20:44,172
That's the kind of dream that gets better
the more people you share it with.
1339
01:20:44,256 --> 01:20:49,886
And, well, I've found a whole bunch of
friends who have the same dream.
1340
01:20:49,970 --> 01:20:51,262
And...
1341
01:20:51,972 --> 01:20:54,933
And it kind of makes us like a family.
1342
01:20:55,017 --> 01:20:56,851
Do you have anybody like that, Hopper?
1343
01:20:56,936 --> 01:20:58,645
I mean,
once you get all those restaurants,
1344
01:20:58,729 --> 01:21:00,104
who are you gonna share it with?
1345
01:21:00,773 --> 01:21:03,691
Who are your friends, Doc?
Those guys?
1346
01:21:04,902 --> 01:21:05,944
Max.
1347
01:21:09,073 --> 01:21:10,949
I got lots of friends.
1348
01:21:13,077 --> 01:21:14,744
Max, for instance.
1349
01:21:18,123 --> 01:21:21,000
- Max.
- I don't think you're a bad man, Doc.
1350
01:21:21,085 --> 01:21:23,378
And I think if you look in your heart,
1351
01:21:23,462 --> 01:21:28,341
you'll find you really wanna let me
and my friends go to follow our dreams.
1352
01:21:28,425 --> 01:21:32,095
But if that's not the kind of man you are,
1353
01:21:32,179 --> 01:21:35,390
or what I'm saying
doesn't make any sense to you,
1354
01:21:35,474 --> 01:21:38,476
well, then, go ahead and kill me.
1355
01:21:52,575 --> 01:21:54,158
All right, boys.
1356
01:21:54,743 --> 01:21:55,827
Kill him.
1357
01:21:57,580 --> 01:21:58,913
No, wait, please.
1358
01:22:02,334 --> 01:22:04,627
(RUMBLING)
1359
01:22:06,422 --> 01:22:08,798
(CRASHING)
1360
01:22:26,191 --> 01:22:27,525
Animal!
1361
01:22:31,739 --> 01:22:33,865
(ROARS)
1362
01:22:41,749 --> 01:22:44,417
Ha! Ha, ha, ha!
1363
01:22:45,711 --> 01:22:47,670
(ANIMAL ROARS)
1364
01:22:51,383 --> 01:22:52,925
Everybody, on to Hollywood.
1365
01:22:53,010 --> 01:22:54,427
ALL: Yay!
1366
01:23:05,731 --> 01:23:07,148
GONZ0: Wow! Wicked!
1367
01:23:07,232 --> 01:23:10,068
TEETH: Yeah,
next stop is Hollywood and Vine.
1368
01:23:17,451 --> 01:23:19,744
FOZZIE: Look at the ocean. The ocean.
1369
01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:27,710
Yes, Mr. Lord. I'll have
those deal numbers for you in a jiffy.
1370
01:23:29,755 --> 01:23:32,048
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Mmm-hmm.
1371
01:23:33,592 --> 01:23:36,886
Oh, I'm sorry.
Mr. Lord can't be disturbed by anyone.
1372
01:23:36,970 --> 01:23:39,472
He's packaging a blockbuster.
Mmm-hmm.
1373
01:23:41,266 --> 01:23:44,394
- Ah, Kermie, look, it's wonderful.
- Yeah.
1374
01:23:44,478 --> 01:23:45,853
Like a dream come true.
1375
01:23:45,938 --> 01:23:48,064
Well, don't count your tadpoles
until they're hatched.
1376
01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:52,485
- I still have to audition, you know.
- Hey, there ain't nothin' to it, but to do it.
1377
01:23:53,278 --> 01:23:54,570
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
1378
01:23:55,656 --> 01:23:58,116
And where do you think you're going?
1379
01:23:58,200 --> 01:24:01,828
Oh, hi, there.
I'm going to audition for Lew Lord.
1380
01:24:01,954 --> 01:24:05,039
You can't just walk in here
off the street, you know.
1381
01:24:05,124 --> 01:24:06,999
Especially not with all these animals.
1382
01:24:07,084 --> 01:24:09,210
Animals? What's wrong with animals?
1383
01:24:10,504 --> 01:24:11,921
ANIMAL: Animal!
1384
01:24:12,673 --> 01:24:15,508
This is a movie studio, not a zoo!
1385
01:24:16,135 --> 01:24:17,468
Besides...
1386
01:24:17,720 --> 01:24:18,720
(SNEEZES)
1387
01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:22,557
I'm allergic to animal hair.
1388
01:24:22,641 --> 01:24:23,975
Now, get along, all of you.
1389
01:24:24,059 --> 01:24:26,227
No. Wait a second. See here, miss.
1390
01:24:26,311 --> 01:24:28,479
I may not be one of your
fancy Hollywood frogs,
1391
01:24:28,564 --> 01:24:29,772
but I deserve a chance.
1392
01:24:29,857 --> 01:24:32,900
And we're gonna stay right here in this
office until you let us in to see Lew Lord.
1393
01:24:32,985 --> 01:24:34,485
- Aren't we, gang, huh?
- Yes!
1394
01:24:35,195 --> 01:24:36,779
- FLOYD: What he says.
- GONZO: Yeah, come on.
1395
01:24:36,864 --> 01:24:38,448
KERMIT: We'll just
sit right down and wait.
1396
01:24:38,532 --> 01:24:39,532
(SNEEZES)
1397
01:24:40,367 --> 01:24:42,493
Hello, security, it's Miss Tracey.
1398
01:24:42,578 --> 01:24:44,662
I wanna report a... (SNEEZES)
1399
01:24:44,747 --> 01:24:46,164
GONZO: Shake. Shake.
Shake, everyone.
1400
01:24:46,248 --> 01:24:47,457
KERMIT: That's it.
1401
01:24:47,541 --> 01:24:49,417
GONZO: Good, good, good. Do it.
1402
01:24:49,501 --> 01:24:52,253
- FLOYD: Yeah, go get 'em, Animal.
- KERMIT: Way to go.
1403
01:24:52,337 --> 01:24:54,255
FOZZIE: Allergies
are nothing to sneeze at.
1404
01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:56,674
TEETH: I'm allergic to cats myself.
1405
01:24:57,009 --> 01:24:59,302
(SNEEZING)
1406
01:24:59,386 --> 01:25:01,512
KERMIT: That's it, Rowlf.
1407
01:25:01,597 --> 01:25:04,474
- We got it.
- (CAMILLA CLUCKS)
1408
01:25:04,558 --> 01:25:05,892
- KERMIT: Wow.
- (BUZZER SOUNDS)
1409
01:25:05,976 --> 01:25:07,185
FLOYD: Yeah, all right.
1410
01:25:07,269 --> 01:25:09,729
- Okay, way to go, guys.
- FOZZIE: All right.
1411
01:25:10,230 --> 01:25:11,689
Thanks, miss.
1412
01:25:15,068 --> 01:25:16,944
Well, friends,
1413
01:25:17,029 --> 01:25:18,571
this is it.
1414
01:25:36,173 --> 01:25:37,715
Uh, Mr. Lord,
1415
01:25:37,800 --> 01:25:39,926
forgive the interruption,
but I'm here to audition.
1416
01:25:40,010 --> 01:25:41,803
MISS PIGGY: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
1417
01:25:41,887 --> 01:25:44,096
KERMIT: We've come
over 2,000 miles...
1418
01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:47,850
Uh, oh, boy.
1419
01:25:50,103 --> 01:25:53,064
Kermie, we're all with you.
1420
01:25:57,194 --> 01:26:01,364
Please, sir. My name is Kermit the Frog,
and we read your ad and...
1421
01:26:01,448 --> 01:26:04,158
Well, we've come
to be rich and famous.
1422
01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:20,675
Miss Tracey.
1423
01:26:22,386 --> 01:26:25,346
Prepare the standard
"Rich and Famous" contract
1424
01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:27,765
for Kermit the Frog and company.
1425
01:26:32,396 --> 01:26:34,730
Yes. We did it. We did it.
1426
01:26:34,815 --> 01:26:36,816
I can't believe it.
1427
01:26:45,742 --> 01:26:47,952
Oh, just look at all this.
1428
01:26:49,621 --> 01:26:51,998
How did a frog make the big time?
1429
01:27:02,134 --> 01:27:04,552
(SINGING) It starts when we're kids
1430
01:27:05,345 --> 01:27:08,222
A show-off at school
1431
01:27:08,307 --> 01:27:10,683
Makin' faces at friends
1432
01:27:11,476 --> 01:27:13,227
You're a clown and a fool
1433
01:27:14,813 --> 01:27:18,357
Doin' pratfalls and bird calls
and bad imitations
1434
01:27:18,442 --> 01:27:21,527
Ignoring your homework
Now that's dedication
1435
01:27:21,612 --> 01:27:24,113
You work to the mirror
1436
01:27:24,197 --> 01:27:27,241
You're getting standing ovations
1437
01:27:28,118 --> 01:27:31,329
You're burning with hope
1438
01:27:31,413 --> 01:27:34,373
You're building up steam
1439
01:27:34,458 --> 01:27:36,250
What was once juvenile-ish
1440
01:27:36,335 --> 01:27:37,877
Is grown-up and stylish
1441
01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:40,630
You're close to your dream
1442
01:27:40,714 --> 01:27:44,342
And somebody out there loves you
1443
01:27:44,426 --> 01:27:46,677
Stands up and hollers for more
1444
01:27:46,762 --> 01:27:47,762
More!
1445
01:27:47,846 --> 01:27:53,017
You've found a home
at the magic store
1446
01:27:53,518 --> 01:27:55,645
Right, everybody.
Production number, okay?
1447
01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:59,190
- Off the trucks and on the job.
- On the job!
1448
01:27:59,274 --> 01:28:01,525
Hey, whoa, halt, cease, stop.
1449
01:28:01,610 --> 01:28:03,736
Wow, let's do it.
1450
01:28:03,820 --> 01:28:05,488
- Do what?
- The movie.
1451
01:28:05,572 --> 01:28:07,865
FOZZIE: Yes, sir. A foot stomper.
1452
01:28:07,950 --> 01:28:10,743
- Makeup.
- Yes, let's do it. Yes.
1453
01:28:10,827 --> 01:28:14,038
Hey, Fozzie,
take those wagons out of there.
1454
01:28:14,122 --> 01:28:16,207
Yes, sir. I'm off.
1455
01:28:16,625 --> 01:28:18,292
(ROARS)
1456
01:28:19,628 --> 01:28:21,045
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
1457
01:28:22,881 --> 01:28:24,590
Scenery over there, right?
1458
01:28:24,675 --> 01:28:26,759
Movin' right along. Hey!
1459
01:28:29,012 --> 01:28:30,930
Hey, those are the trees for the swamp.
1460
01:28:31,515 --> 01:28:33,474
Mellow and profitable.
1461
01:28:34,393 --> 01:28:35,810
Wacka, wacka.
1462
01:28:36,645 --> 01:28:39,438
- Let's make a scene.
- Okay, hon.
1463
01:28:39,523 --> 01:28:42,400
- Watch the tree, Rowlf.
- Careful, Scooter.
1464
01:28:44,611 --> 01:28:45,903
Ow.
1465
01:28:46,530 --> 01:28:48,239
- Watch it!
- (MEEPS)
1466
01:28:48,323 --> 01:28:51,826
- Miss Piggy, you look beautiful.
- MISS PIGGY: Thank you.
1467
01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:53,077
Hollywood talk.
1468
01:28:53,161 --> 01:28:54,745
Wa ha ha ha.
1469
01:28:54,830 --> 01:28:56,330
Wa ha ha ha ha.
1470
01:28:56,415 --> 01:28:57,665
- Good.
- Wa ha!
1471
01:28:57,749 --> 01:29:00,001
The lights. Yeah.
1472
01:29:00,085 --> 01:29:02,586
Good. Save those arcs.
1473
01:29:02,671 --> 01:29:03,796
Ha, ha.
1474
01:29:03,880 --> 01:29:06,757
Crazy Harry plays with electricity!
1475
01:29:10,303 --> 01:29:12,680
Sound is ready. Give me a level.
1476
01:29:14,016 --> 01:29:15,891
(YELLS) Testing!
1477
01:29:19,396 --> 01:29:20,855
(LAUGHS)
1478
01:29:21,940 --> 01:29:23,399
Rolling.
1479
01:29:24,484 --> 01:29:27,028
Okay, everybody. Stay in focus, huh?
1480
01:29:27,946 --> 01:29:31,323
Okay, Muppet Movie,
scene 1A, take one.
1481
01:29:33,535 --> 01:29:36,037
- BEAKER: Makeup ready.
- FLOYD: Scenery ready.
1482
01:29:36,121 --> 01:29:38,205
- BUNSEN: Sound is rolling.
- ROWLF: Camera's rollin'.
1483
01:29:38,290 --> 01:29:39,915
MISS PIGGY: All ready, Kermie.
1484
01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:42,585
Okay, standby. Here we go.
1485
01:29:53,930 --> 01:29:59,894
(SINGING) Why are there so many
songs about rainbows?
1486
01:29:59,978 --> 01:30:04,690
That's part of what rainbows do
1487
01:30:06,151 --> 01:30:09,153
Rainbows are memories
1488
01:30:09,237 --> 01:30:12,406
Sweet dream reminders
1489
01:30:12,491 --> 01:30:17,495
What is it you'd like to do?
1490
01:30:18,789 --> 01:30:24,835
All of us watching
and wishing we'd find it
1491
01:30:24,920 --> 01:30:28,881
I've noticed you're watching, too
1492
01:30:31,134 --> 01:30:34,095
Someday you'll find it
1493
01:30:34,179 --> 01:30:37,515
The rainbow connection
1494
01:30:37,599 --> 01:30:41,227
The lovers, the dreamers and...
1495
01:30:41,311 --> 01:30:43,187
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
1496
01:31:16,388 --> 01:31:17,680
Kermit.
1497
01:31:26,648 --> 01:31:28,190
(MISS PIGGY GASPS)
1498
01:31:31,403 --> 01:31:35,489
(SINGING) Life's like a movie
Write your own ending
1499
01:31:35,574 --> 01:31:39,285
Keep believing, keep pretending
1500
01:31:39,369 --> 01:31:44,123
We've done
just what we've set out to do
1501
01:31:44,207 --> 01:31:48,085
Thanks to the lovers
1502
01:31:48,170 --> 01:31:51,338
The dreamers
1503
01:31:51,423 --> 01:31:56,260
And you
1504
01:32:08,190 --> 01:32:09,190
(LAUGHS)
1505
01:32:10,358 --> 01:32:12,985
I just knew I'd catch up with you guys.
1506
01:32:13,570 --> 01:32:14,987
(ALL LAUGHING)
1507
01:32:18,450 --> 01:32:21,911
- What did you think?
- It was sick and weird.
1508
01:32:25,165 --> 01:32:29,168
Kermit, it went swell. It went great, boss.
1509
01:32:29,252 --> 01:32:32,630
Congratulations, Mr. The Frog.
1510
01:32:33,632 --> 01:32:36,091
You can be in the next one, Lew.
1511
01:32:43,642 --> 01:32:45,392
Great show.
1512
01:33:05,121 --> 01:33:06,789
Oh, wow.
1513
01:33:11,253 --> 01:33:12,753
Woman!
1514
01:33:33,608 --> 01:33:35,567
- Did you like my close-up?
- Oh, yes.
1515
01:33:35,652 --> 01:33:38,445
Did you like my song?
How about my karate?
1516
01:33:44,703 --> 01:33:46,203
Kermit. Oh, Kermie.
1517
01:34:07,225 --> 01:34:10,352
Was I funny? Was I funny, anybody?
1518
01:34:25,785 --> 01:34:28,287
Fozzie, you were very, very funny.
1519
01:34:29,414 --> 01:34:30,914
Just great.
1520
01:34:53,605 --> 01:34:55,939
Go home! Go home!
104643
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