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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:04,638 ANNOUNCER: They've got to stop them in this series. 2 00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:06,774 Geez! Damn it! Come on! 3 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,610 ADULT SHELDON: In Texas, the Holy Trinity 4 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:13,114 is God, football and barbeque, 5 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:16,350 not necessarily in that order. 6 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:20,121 I don't care if you win, just cover the damn spread. 7 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,522 Mom, are you betting again? 8 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,823 No. 9 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,125 ANNOUNCER: ...fans on their feet, 10 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,393 trying to urge the defense on. 11 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,627 Fourth down. 12 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,129 Gotta punt. 13 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,463 Gotta. 14 00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,632 Statistically, always punting on fourth down 15 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:32,733 makes no sense. 16 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,069 Statistically, you're a dumbass. 17 00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:35,769 Hey. 18 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,138 When the Aggies give up the ball 19 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,739 on their own five-yard line, 20 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,842 the opposing team has a 92% chance of scoring. 21 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,712 When they punt from deep in their own territory, 22 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,415 the other team still has a 77% chance of scoring. 23 00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,550 But since they convert 24 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,852 on fourth down 50% of the time, 25 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:55,456 the math says they should never punt again. 26 00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:02,296 Okay, you can tell me, who's his real daddy? 27 00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:05,366 Sheldon, I've been playing and coaching football all my life. 28 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,501 I don't think your math is right. 29 00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,203 Really? 30 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,571 Hang on. 31 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,173 No, it's right. 32 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,774 ANNOUNCER: ...able to hold A&M to a field goal, 33 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,576 they'll only be down six points. 34 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,810 Is it your dentist? 35 00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,579 The little guy with the glasses? 36 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,848 You can tell me. 37 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,817 * Nobody else is stronger than I am * 38 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,754 * Yesterday I moved a mountain 39 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,323 * I bet I could be your hero 40 00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:33,227 * I am a mighty little man 41 00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:36,530 * I am a mighty little man. * 42 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:43,237 I got to tell you, I'm a little worried about my mother. 43 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,139 She keeps betting on these football games, 44 00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,874 next thing you know, there's an Italian fella 45 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,310 driving off with her pickup truck. 46 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,647 You think Sheldon's right? 47 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,216 About what? 48 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,918 The punting and the math. 49 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,119 I should think so. 50 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,622 He's been doing our taxes since he's six years old. 51 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:02,823 We never been audited. 52 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,259 That's true. 53 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,931 He even got us that nice refund last year. 54 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:15,936 * I got some ocean front property in Arizona... * 55 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,840 How come Mom's not taking me to school? 56 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,375 'Cause once in a while, 57 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,744 your dad wants to spend some time with you. 58 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,280 My little Shel-man. 59 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:28,616 But Mom's car has a backseat. 60 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,650 Statistically, I'm much safer there. 61 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:32,520 Hey, I'm glad you brought up statistically. 62 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:35,256 You think those numbers you talked about for Texas A&M 63 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,757 would apply to my JV squad? 64 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,592 I don't see why not. 65 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:42,696 Unlike our former principal, math doesn't discriminate. 66 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:46,534 You're not thinking about taking his advice, are you? 67 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,936 Never you mind. But he's wrong. 68 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,305 Everybody knows you punt on fourth down. 69 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,707 Why does everybody knowing something make it right? 70 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,443 Because. 71 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,613 That's what makes this country great. 72 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,415 ADULT SHELDON: Many years later, 73 00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:03,651 my brother would use this same argument 74 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,852 in front of a judge. 75 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:09,423 He was still convicted for urinating in a phone booth. 76 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,325 (crowd shouting, cheerleaders chanting) 77 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,530 (crowd cheering) 78 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:20,901 (whistle blowing) 79 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,736 Oh, damn it. 80 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:23,904 I'll send in the punting team. 81 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,473 Hang on. Hang on. 82 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,707 What? 83 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,909 Let's go for it. 84 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:31,312 Why? We got plenty of time. 85 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,880 I know. Still want to go for it. 86 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,450 We're on the 12-yard line. Everybody know you punt. 87 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,986 Why does everybody knowing something make it right? 88 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,957 But we're on the 12-yard line, Coach. 89 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:48,762 Okay, Coach says we're going for it. 90 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,331 Stupid brother. 91 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,999 What? Nothing. 92 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:55,536 Power left jumbo on two, on two. Ready, break! 93 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,906 P.A. ANNOUNCER: And your Wolves are going for it on fourth down. 94 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,608 What the hell? Punt! 95 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:03,377 Statistically, they're better off going for it. 96 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:06,514 Says who? My little boy. 97 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,986 (whistles blowing) 98 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,388 That's why everybody punts. 99 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,424 That was just plain foolishness. 100 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,759 Your little boy's a real genius. 101 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,894 Well, actually he is. 102 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,930 (whistle blows) 103 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,834 Too many men on the field, defense. 104 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,336 Replay fourth down. 105 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,671 Ah. Thank you, Jesus. 106 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:34,542 Now, can I send in the punt team? 107 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,312 Coach? 108 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:43,951 ANNOUNCER: And they're going for it again. 109 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,986 What the hell? Punt! 110 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,988 Remind me to tell you about the tax refund I got 111 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,790 from the IRS. 112 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:50,991 Set. Hut! 113 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,965 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 114 00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,034 Go! Whoo! 115 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,738 Go, go, go! Go! 116 00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:06,474 ANNOUNCER: He's at the 30, the 20, the 10. 117 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,076 Touchdown, Wolves! (crowd cheering) 118 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:12,546 (both laughing) 119 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,449 I never had any doubt, Coach. Never had any doubt. 120 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:20,688 Oh, booyah! Yes. 121 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,322 * 122 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:31,832 Sweet dreams, baby. 123 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,033 Mwah. 124 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,369 Night, Meemaw. 125 00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:39,139 Can I ask you a favor? 126 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,442 Sure. What? You know those statistics 127 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,577 that you were talking about with your dad? 128 00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:47,448 Could... could that be applied to, say, 129 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,983 who might win the Cowboys-Packers game next week? 130 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:53,020 And, more specifically, by how much? 131 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:57,491 I suppose with enough data I could make a reasonable guess. 132 00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,727 I don't want a guess, I want to know. 133 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,128 Mom said you're not supposed to gamble. 134 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,996 Sleep, child! 135 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,732 MARY: Mom? In here! 136 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,701 (whispers): I'll get those numbers to you tomorrow. 137 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,671 Just tucking him in. (chuckles) 138 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,842 I got something for you. 139 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,611 It's dirty. 140 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,913 Well, that's 'cause it's the game ball. 141 00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:23,784 And you earned it, 'cause you helped us win. 142 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,619 Okay, but can you wash it? 143 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:29,189 Sheldon, your daddy's telling you he's proud of you. 144 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,192 I see. Thank you, Dad. 145 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,528 You're welcome. 146 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,832 I'm still never touching that. 147 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,435 Let's go wipe it off. 148 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,441 (school bell rings) ADULT SHELDON: For the next five weeks, 149 00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:49,109 I continued to help my father apply statistics 150 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,210 to coach his team. 151 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,813 Not surprisingly, they continued to win, 152 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,949 which changed my status in the school dramatically. 153 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,017 There he is! Yo, Sheldon! 154 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,686 (students cheering, excited chatter) 155 00:06:58,719 --> 00:06:59,687 Shel-dog! 156 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,021 Math man! 157 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,990 Hey, cutie. 158 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,692 It was a nightmare. 159 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,194 Shel-dog! Woo-hoo! 160 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:10,464 Hugging, hair tousling, high fives. 161 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:13,967 And as my popularity grew, so did my time aloft. 162 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,869 (screaming) 163 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,672 * 164 00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:19,973 (screaming) 165 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,642 * Everybody wants it. 166 00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:34,588 Hey, I've been looking all over for you. 167 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,524 Do you know how popular we are? 168 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,991 We? Yeah. 169 00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:40,794 I put the word out I was helping you with the football stats. 170 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,229 And since I'm Asian, they bought it. 171 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:45,566 Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it. 172 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,700 You're not? 173 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,737 I was touched 82 times this afternoon. 174 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,204 What do you mean, "touched"? 175 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,573 Not inappropriately. 176 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,041 Joyfully. 177 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,709 Affectionately. 178 00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,878 A cheerleader hugged me to her bosom. 179 00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,580 That's amazing. 180 00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,815 No more high fives. 181 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,951 I can't keep washing my hands. 182 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,825 Hey. 183 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,094 There's my little assistant coach. 184 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,629 Hello, Dad. 185 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:18,666 You have any more, uh, arithmetic ideas 186 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,000 for next week's game? 187 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,736 I do, but I'm trying to finish my homework. 188 00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,773 Ah. 189 00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,009 Looks complicated. 190 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,780 Advanced chemistry. It's not. 191 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:33,847 What are you guys doing? 192 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,249 Your brother and I are gonna knock around a few ideas 193 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:37,818 for the Freeport game. 194 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,186 Can I help? 195 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,288 Actually, yeah. Run out to my truck. 196 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,956 There's a little, uh, pocket calculator 197 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:43,891 on my front seat. 198 00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,292 I got you a present. 199 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,595 Thought it might help with your figuring. 200 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,297 I don't need a calculator, Dad. I am one. 201 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,632 Sure. 202 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,567 Well... 203 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:54,935 Go get it anyway. 204 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:57,905 It's solar-powered. 205 00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,007 (chuckles): Can you imagine that? 206 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:10,350 (rock music playing loudly over stereo) 207 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,553 (steady thumping) 208 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:21,094 Georgie, turn that down! 209 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:21,995 What? 210 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,033 (music stops) 211 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,902 And look at this room. You need to clean this mess up. 212 00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,738 I'll get to it later. 213 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,305 No, you'll get to it now. 214 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,306 I don't feel like it. 215 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,909 Well, your feelings have nothing to do with it. 216 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,244 And stop throwing that ball. 217 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,013 My room bothers you so much, you clean it. 218 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,351 MARY: That's it! You are grounded! You hear me?! 219 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,919 The hell? 220 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,690 Hey...! 221 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,891 There's my little Moonpie. 222 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,827 Did you get a chance to look at this week's games for me? 223 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:56,764 Not yet. You understand there's a little time crunch involved. 224 00:09:56,797 --> 00:10:01,034 Meemaw's got some outstanding loans I need to pay back. 225 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,003 I'm sorry, I have to finish my homework 226 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,138 and then I have to help my dad. 227 00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,775 Come on. 228 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,710 I'm your meemaw. 229 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,011 I make you cookies. 230 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,846 How 'bout a little quid pro quo? 231 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,014 As much as I enjoy 232 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,349 your use of Latin, no. 233 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,386 Shelly, time to get ready for bed. 234 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,854 But I'm not done. 235 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,122 Don't you sass me, too, young man. 236 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,757 Brush your teeth and get to bed. 237 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:31,264 I think your anger might be a little misdirected. 238 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,700 Don't you start with me either. 239 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:36,003 Now, see, you're still shootin' wide. 240 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,911 (knocking) 241 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,880 Good evening, Mrs. Cooper. 242 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:47,881 Can I speak to Sheldon? 243 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,082 No, you can't speak to Sheldon. 244 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,818 It's late. He's in bed. 245 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:54,087 Oh. I was hoping he might like to go to a party with me. 246 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,089 Has everyone lost their mind? 247 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,458 He's a little boy, Tam! 248 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,160 Good night! But... 249 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:04,331 Good Lord, that mouth of yours is a machine gun tonight. 250 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,304 What are you doing? 251 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,941 Trying to calculate the odds of the Dolphins 252 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,476 covering the spread next Sunday. 253 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,410 I like dolphins. 254 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:20,781 They talk out of that hole in their head. 255 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,282 (knocking) 256 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,250 Hello. 257 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,885 Tam? 258 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,922 What are you doing here? 259 00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,457 Would you like to go to a party with me? 260 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,492 I don't want to go to a party with anyone. 261 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,393 I would! 262 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,828 Please, Sheldon. 263 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:35,796 It's right across the street. 264 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,098 Just get me in, and you can go back to bed. 265 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,033 I have to ask my mom. 266 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,936 No need. She knows all about the party. 267 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,938 All right, then. 268 00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,174 I need a minute to change. 269 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:54,247 Why are you wearing that? It makes me look older. 270 00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,950 (doorbell rings) Just so we're clear, once you get in, 271 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,952 I'm going home. 272 00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:00,520 Hey! Sheldon! 273 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,889 What are you doing? 274 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:05,392 Hey, everybody, check it out! Sheldon's here! (crowd cheering) 275 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,762 (cheering continues in distance) 276 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:11,098 I hope that doesn't wake up the kids. 277 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,033 Should I go over there and say something? 278 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,134 I think you should. 279 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,969 (sighs) 280 00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,204 I was bluffin'. 281 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,873 Don't make me put my socks back on. 282 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,508 Never mind. 283 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,143 Good night. 284 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,278 Good night. 285 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,555 I feel bad about yelling at Georgie. 286 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,557 He deserved it. 287 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,392 You should do it more. 288 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,627 I think he's feeling left out 289 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,831 now that you and Sheldon are spending so much time together. 290 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,868 Are you kiddin' me? 291 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:48,701 You're always saying to find 292 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,037 something in common with Sheldon. 293 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,339 And now that I have, you're telling me I'm ignoring Georgie? 294 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,207 I'm not saying that. 295 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,209 I'm just reminding you 296 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,078 that you got two sons. 297 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,913 I know. 298 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,883 I also got a daughter I need to spend more time with. 299 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:03,884 You do. 300 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,019 But I wouldn't worry about her. 301 00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,421 She's an angel. 302 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,790 (rap music playing, crowd cheering) 303 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,129 ALL (chanting): Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon! 304 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,931 Put me down! Sheldon! Sheldon! 305 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,067 SHELDON: Put me down! I'm not enjoying this! 306 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,434 Missy, what are you doing here?! 307 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,603 Cuttin' loose. What are you doing here? 308 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,604 SHELDON: Slowly! Slowly! 309 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,474 Slowly! 310 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,842 You, too?! 311 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,143 Hello, Georgie! 312 00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,544 You're not supposed to be here. 313 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,147 Neither are you! You're grounded! 314 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,183 Come on. 315 00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,051 Both of you are going home. Now. 316 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,220 Oh, thank goodness. Aw. 317 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,092 How's puberty treating you? 318 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,861 Because it is knocking me for a loop. 319 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,198 Right? 320 00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,039 ADULT SHELDON: Somehow, my parents didn't find out 321 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,373 about me partying heartily. 322 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,242 But I did pay a price 323 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,212 for burning the candle at both ends. 324 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,547 I made a mistake on a math test. 325 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,583 In my exhaustion, I did all the calculations 326 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,885 in my head, 327 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:15,956 and, like a common zoo animal, forgot to show my work. 328 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,926 I just saw one of those girls from the party, 329 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,528 and she acknowledged my existence by doing this. 330 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,864 I've never felt so alive. 331 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,635 Are you okay? 332 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,537 No, I'm not. 333 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,407 Yeah, so? 334 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,210 A B-plus-- that's the beginning of the end. 335 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,678 The end of what? 336 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,913 My life. 337 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:43,050 If I don't make some changes, who knows how far I'll fall. 338 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,653 I could wind up a drug addict, or a lawyer. 339 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,521 Is it possible you're overreacting? 340 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:52,525 No. Starting today, I'm done helping the football team. 341 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:56,563 But if you do that, girls will no longer greet me like this. 342 00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,000 I'll greet you like that. 343 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,469 It's not the same. 344 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,139 ADULT SHELDON: Extricating myself from this situation 345 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,540 was not going to be easy. 346 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:12,012 My father was counting on me, Meemaw was counting on me, 347 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,014 the school was counting on me. 348 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,516 After much thought, I decided to employ 349 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:20,687 the one strategic maneuver I knew I could count on. 350 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,155 I tattled. 351 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,123 Mom? 352 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:26,559 ("I Fought the Law" by The Clash playing) 353 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,161 * 354 00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:31,698 * Robbin' people with a six-gun * 355 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,567 * I fought the law and the law won... * 356 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,071 Sheldon got a B-plus! That's terrible for him! 357 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:41,108 I'm very disappointed in all three of you. 358 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,044 That is right. Missy, this is for your ballet class. 359 00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,046 We do not go to parties. 360 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,048 I am very disappointed. 361 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,322 Hey. 362 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,024 Got to go pick up 363 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,426 some equipment for the team; you want to join me? 364 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,361 Can't. I'm grounded. 365 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,463 (sighs): Yeah, well... 366 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,465 I won't tell if you won't. 367 00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,336 Sheldon going? 368 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,638 That little snitch? Absolutely not. 369 00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,479 Sheldon still gonna help you with the math? 370 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,081 I don't think so. 371 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:24,384 But I did hear his little Asian friend can do it. 372 00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,361 Hey. 373 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:35,695 Hello. 374 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:36,896 So... 375 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,699 Oilers are a four-point favorite for this Sunday's game, 376 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:43,570 but it's a home game, so I'm thinking I give the points. 377 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,605 What do you think? 378 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:48,275 I think I have to tell on you again. 379 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:51,344 Go ahead. What's your mama gonna do, ground me? 380 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:57,784 Take the Oilers, give the points. 381 00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:01,588 I love you, Moonpie. (chuckles) 382 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:07,327 ADULT SHELDON: For the record, the Oilers lost that game 383 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,795 by four touchdowns. 384 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,398 Meemaw never asked for my advice again. 385 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,670 Come on, come on, come on. Damn it! 386 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,838 Okay. 387 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,474 One more time. 388 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,711 Mama needs a new Jet Ski! 389 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,146 And... 390 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,115 rat bastard! 391 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:32,185 How you doin' there, Connie? 392 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,287 Hey, Vincent. (chuckles) 393 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,156 What brings you to Louisiana? 394 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,290 Wait, don't tell me. 395 00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,092 You're here to see Tony Orlando. 396 00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,727 'Fraid not. 397 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,429 Oh, well, you ought to check him out. 398 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,764 He'll, uh, knock your socks off. 399 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:45,965 I like my socks on. 400 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:50,270 Connie, you're putting me in a very awkward position. 401 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,805 I won a toaster oven playing keno. 402 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,341 You want it? 403 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,177 I got one. 404 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,611 I want my money. 405 00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,580 (chuckles): All right. 406 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,081 Hang on. 407 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,452 That's a very nice jacket. 408 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,787 You're looking dapper. 409 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,325 Ah. (chuckles) 410 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,560 Hey, they comp my room here. 411 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,861 They do that for you? 412 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:18,531 Actually, they frown upon my presence here. 413 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:22,135 Oh. I also get a coupon for the breakfast buffet. 414 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,803 You should look into that. 415 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,807 (sighs, mutters) 416 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,908 Constance! 417 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,178 Patience, Vincenzo. 418 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,646 (chuckles) 419 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,584 (bell ringing) Yes! (laughing) 420 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,752 (coins clacking) Oh! 421 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,688 All right, now we're talking. 422 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,191 Will you take a down payment in quarters? 423 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,358 Do I have a choice? 424 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,759 (laughs) 425 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,261 Start scoopin'. 426 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,163 I got to go see Tony Orlando. 427 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,831 (coins continue clacking) 428 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,370 Oof. 429 00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,505 (shudders) 430 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,741 (exasperated grunt) 431 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:04,711 (yells) 432 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,179 (coins continue clacking) 433 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:07,514 Hey! 434 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,849 Hey, I need another cup! 29659

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