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1
00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:04,638
ANNOUNCER: They've got
to stop them in this series.
2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:06,774
Geez!
Damn it!
Come on!
3
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,610
ADULT SHELDON:
In Texas, the Holy Trinity
4
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:13,114
is God, football and barbeque,
5
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:16,350
not necessarily in that order.
6
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:20,121
I don't care if you win,
just cover the damn spread.
7
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,522
Mom, are you
betting again?
8
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,823
No.
9
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,125
ANNOUNCER:
...fans on their feet,
10
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,393
trying to urge the defense on.
11
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,627
Fourth down.
12
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,129
Gotta punt.
13
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,463
Gotta.
14
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,632
Statistically, always
punting on fourth down
15
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:32,733
makes no sense.
16
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,069
Statistically,
you're a dumbass.
17
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:35,769
Hey.
18
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,138
When the Aggies give up the ball
19
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,739
on their own five-yard line,
20
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,842
the opposing team has
a 92% chance of scoring.
21
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,712
When they punt from deep
in their own territory,
22
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,415
the other team still has
a 77% chance of scoring.
23
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,550
But since they convert
24
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,852
on fourth down 50% of the time,
25
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:55,456
the math says they should
never punt again.
26
00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:02,296
Okay, you can tell me,
who's his real daddy?
27
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:05,366
Sheldon, I've been playing and
coaching football all my life.
28
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,501
I don't think your math
is right.
29
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,203
Really?
30
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,571
Hang on.
31
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,173
No, it's right.
32
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,774
ANNOUNCER: ...able to hold A&M
to a field goal,
33
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,576
they'll only be down six points.
34
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,810
Is it your dentist?
35
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,579
The little guy
with the glasses?
36
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,848
You can tell me.
37
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,817
* Nobody else
is stronger than I am *
38
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,754
* Yesterday I moved a mountain
39
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,323
* I bet I could be your hero
40
00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:33,227
* I am a mighty little man
41
00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:36,530
* I am a mighty little man. *
42
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:43,237
I got to tell you, I'm a little
worried about my mother.
43
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,139
She keeps betting on
these football games,
44
00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,874
next thing you know,
there's an Italian fella
45
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,310
driving off with
her pickup truck.
46
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,647
You think
Sheldon's right?
47
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,216
About what?
48
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,918
The punting
and the math.
49
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,119
I should think so.
50
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,622
He's been doing our taxes
since he's six years old.
51
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:02,823
We never been audited.
52
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,259
That's true.
53
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,931
He even got us that
nice refund last year.
54
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:15,936
* I got some ocean front
property in Arizona... *
55
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,840
How come Mom's
not taking me to school?
56
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,375
'Cause once in a while,
57
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,744
your dad wants to spend
some time with you.
58
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,280
My little Shel-man.
59
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:28,616
But Mom's car has a backseat.
60
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,650
Statistically,
I'm much safer there.
61
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:32,520
Hey, I'm glad you brought up
statistically.
62
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:35,256
You think those numbers you
talked about for Texas A&M
63
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,757
would apply to
my JV squad?
64
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,592
I don't see why not.
65
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:42,696
Unlike our former principal,
math doesn't discriminate.
66
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:46,534
You're not thinking about
taking his advice, are you?
67
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,936
Never you mind.
But he's wrong.
68
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,305
Everybody knows
you punt on fourth down.
69
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,707
Why does everybody knowing
something make it right?
70
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,443
Because.
71
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,613
That's what makes
this country great.
72
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,415
ADULT SHELDON:
Many years later,
73
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:03,651
my brother would use
this same argument
74
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,852
in front of a judge.
75
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:09,423
He was still convicted
for urinating in a phone booth.
76
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,325
(crowd shouting,
cheerleaders chanting)
77
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,530
(crowd cheering)
78
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:20,901
(whistle blowing)
79
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,736
Oh, damn it.
80
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:23,904
I'll send in
the punting team.
81
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,473
Hang on. Hang on.
82
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,707
What?
83
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,909
Let's go for it.
84
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:31,312
Why? We got plenty of time.
85
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,880
I know. Still want to go for it.
86
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,450
We're on the 12-yard line.
Everybody know you punt.
87
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,986
Why does everybody knowing
something make it right?
88
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,957
But we're on
the 12-yard line, Coach.
89
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:48,762
Okay, Coach says
we're going for it.
90
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,331
Stupid brother.
91
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,999
What?
Nothing.
92
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:55,536
Power left jumbo on two, on two.
Ready, break!
93
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,906
P.A. ANNOUNCER: And your Wolves
are going for it on fourth down.
94
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,608
What the hell? Punt!
95
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:03,377
Statistically, they're
better off going for it.
96
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:06,514
Says who?
My little boy.
97
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,986
(whistles blowing)
98
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,388
That's why everybody punts.
99
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,424
That was just
plain foolishness.
100
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,759
Your little boy's
a real genius.
101
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,894
Well, actually he is.
102
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,930
(whistle blows)
103
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,834
Too many men on
the field, defense.
104
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,336
Replay fourth down.
105
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,671
Ah. Thank you, Jesus.
106
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:34,542
Now, can I send in
the punt team?
107
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,312
Coach?
108
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:43,951
ANNOUNCER: And they're
going for it again.
109
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,986
What the hell? Punt!
110
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,988
Remind me to tell you about
the tax refund I got
111
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,790
from the IRS.
112
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:50,991
Set. Hut!
113
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,965
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
114
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,034
Go!
Whoo!
115
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,738
Go, go, go! Go!
116
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:06,474
ANNOUNCER:
He's at the 30, the 20, the 10.
117
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,076
Touchdown, Wolves!
(crowd cheering)
118
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:12,546
(both laughing)
119
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,449
I never had any doubt, Coach.
Never had any doubt.
120
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:20,688
Oh, booyah! Yes.
121
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,322
*
122
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:31,832
Sweet dreams, baby.
123
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,033
Mwah.
124
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,369
Night, Meemaw.
125
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:39,139
Can I ask you a favor?
126
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,442
Sure. What?
You know those statistics
127
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,577
that you were talking about
with your dad?
128
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:47,448
Could... could that be
applied to, say,
129
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,983
who might win the
Cowboys-Packers game next week?
130
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:53,020
And, more specifically,
by how much?
131
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:57,491
I suppose with enough data
I could make a reasonable guess.
132
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,727
I don't want a guess,
I want to know.
133
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,128
Mom said you're not
supposed to gamble.
134
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,996
Sleep, child!
135
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,732
MARY: Mom?
In here!
136
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,701
(whispers): I'll get those
numbers to you tomorrow.
137
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,671
Just tucking him in.
(chuckles)
138
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,842
I got something for you.
139
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,611
It's dirty.
140
00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,913
Well, that's 'cause
it's the game ball.
141
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:23,784
And you earned it,
'cause you helped us win.
142
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,619
Okay, but can you wash it?
143
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:29,189
Sheldon, your daddy's
telling you he's proud of you.
144
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,192
I see. Thank you, Dad.
145
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,528
You're welcome.
146
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,832
I'm still never touching that.
147
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,435
Let's go wipe it off.
148
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,441
(school bell rings)
ADULT SHELDON:
For the next five weeks,
149
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:49,109
I continued to help
my father apply statistics
150
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,210
to coach his team.
151
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,813
Not surprisingly,
they continued to win,
152
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,949
which changed my status
in the school dramatically.
153
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,017
There he is!
Yo, Sheldon!
154
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,686
(students cheering,
excited chatter)
155
00:06:58,719 --> 00:06:59,687
Shel-dog!
156
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,021
Math man!
157
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,990
Hey, cutie.
158
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,692
It was a nightmare.
159
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,194
Shel-dog! Woo-hoo!
160
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:10,464
Hugging, hair tousling,
high fives.
161
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:13,967
And as my popularity grew,
so did my time aloft.
162
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,869
(screaming)
163
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,672
*
164
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:19,973
(screaming)
165
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,642
* Everybody wants it.
166
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:34,588
Hey, I've been looking
all over for you.
167
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,524
Do you know how
popular we are?
168
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,991
We?
Yeah.
169
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:40,794
I put the word out I was helping
you with the football stats.
170
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,229
And since I'm Asian,
they bought it.
171
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:45,566
Well, I'm glad
you're enjoying it.
172
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,700
You're not?
173
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,737
I was touched 82 times
this afternoon.
174
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,204
What do you mean, "touched"?
175
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,573
Not inappropriately.
176
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,041
Joyfully.
177
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,709
Affectionately.
178
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,878
A cheerleader hugged me
to her bosom.
179
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,580
That's amazing.
180
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,815
No more high fives.
181
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,951
I can't keep
washing my hands.
182
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,825
Hey.
183
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,094
There's my little
assistant coach.
184
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,629
Hello, Dad.
185
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:18,666
You have any more,
uh, arithmetic ideas
186
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,000
for next week's game?
187
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,736
I do, but I'm trying
to finish my homework.
188
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,773
Ah.
189
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,009
Looks complicated.
190
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,780
Advanced chemistry.
It's not.
191
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:33,847
What are you guys doing?
192
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,249
Your brother and I are gonna
knock around a few ideas
193
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:37,818
for the Freeport game.
194
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,186
Can I help?
195
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,288
Actually, yeah.
Run out to my truck.
196
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,956
There's a little, uh,
pocket calculator
197
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:43,891
on my front seat.
198
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,292
I got you a present.
199
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,595
Thought it might help
with your figuring.
200
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,297
I don't need a calculator, Dad.
I am one.
201
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,632
Sure.
202
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,567
Well...
203
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:54,935
Go get it anyway.
204
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:57,905
It's solar-powered.
205
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,007
(chuckles):
Can you imagine that?
206
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:10,350
(rock music playing loudly
over stereo)
207
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,553
(steady thumping)
208
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:21,094
Georgie, turn that down!
209
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:21,995
What?
210
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,033
(music stops)
211
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,902
And look at this room.
You need to clean this mess up.
212
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,738
I'll get to it later.
213
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,305
No, you'll get to it now.
214
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,306
I don't feel like it.
215
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,909
Well, your feelings have
nothing to do with it.
216
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,244
And stop throwing that ball.
217
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,013
My room bothers you so much,
you clean it.
218
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,351
MARY: That's it!
You are grounded! You hear me?!
219
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,919
The hell?
220
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,690
Hey...!
221
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,891
There's my little Moonpie.
222
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,827
Did you get a chance to look
at this week's games for me?
223
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:56,764
Not yet.
You understand there's
a little time crunch involved.
224
00:09:56,797 --> 00:10:01,034
Meemaw's got some outstanding
loans I need to pay back.
225
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,003
I'm sorry,
I have to finish my homework
226
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,138
and then I have to help my dad.
227
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,775
Come on.
228
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,710
I'm your meemaw.
229
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,011
I make you cookies.
230
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,846
How 'bout a little quid pro quo?
231
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,014
As much as I enjoy
232
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,349
your use of Latin, no.
233
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,386
Shelly, time to get ready
for bed.
234
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,854
But I'm not done.
235
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,122
Don't you sass me, too,
young man.
236
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,757
Brush your teeth and get to bed.
237
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:31,264
I think your anger might be
a little misdirected.
238
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,700
Don't you start
with me either.
239
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:36,003
Now, see,
you're still shootin' wide.
240
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,911
(knocking)
241
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,880
Good evening,
Mrs. Cooper.
242
00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:47,881
Can I speak to Sheldon?
243
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,082
No, you can't speak to Sheldon.
244
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,818
It's late. He's in bed.
245
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:54,087
Oh. I was hoping he might like
to go to a party with me.
246
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,089
Has everyone lost their mind?
247
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,458
He's a little boy, Tam!
248
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,160
Good night!
But...
249
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:04,331
Good Lord, that mouth of yours
is a machine gun tonight.
250
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,304
What are you doing?
251
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,941
Trying to calculate
the odds of the Dolphins
252
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,476
covering the spread next Sunday.
253
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,410
I like dolphins.
254
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:20,781
They talk out of that hole
in their head.
255
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,282
(knocking)
256
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,250
Hello.
257
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,885
Tam?
258
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,922
What are you doing here?
259
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,457
Would you like to go
to a party with me?
260
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,492
I don't want to go to a party
with anyone.
261
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,393
I would!
262
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,828
Please, Sheldon.
263
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:35,796
It's right across the street.
264
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,098
Just get me in,
and you can go back to bed.
265
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,033
I have to ask my mom.
266
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,936
No need.
She knows all about the party.
267
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,938
All right, then.
268
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,174
I need a minute
to change.
269
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:54,247
Why are you wearing that?
It makes me look older.
270
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,950
(doorbell rings)
Just so we're clear,
once you get in,
271
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,952
I'm going home.
272
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:00,520
Hey! Sheldon!
273
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,889
What are you doing?
274
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:05,392
Hey, everybody, check it out!
Sheldon's here!
(crowd cheering)
275
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,762
(cheering continues in distance)
276
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:11,098
I hope that doesn't
wake up the kids.
277
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,033
Should I go over there
and say something?
278
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,134
I think you should.
279
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,969
(sighs)
280
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,204
I was bluffin'.
281
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,873
Don't make me
put my socks back on.
282
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,508
Never mind.
283
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,143
Good night.
284
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,278
Good night.
285
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,555
I feel bad about
yelling at Georgie.
286
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,557
He deserved it.
287
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,392
You should do it more.
288
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,627
I think he's feeling left out
289
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,831
now that you and Sheldon are
spending so much time together.
290
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,868
Are you kiddin' me?
291
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:48,701
You're always
saying to find
292
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,037
something in common
with Sheldon.
293
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,339
And now that I have, you're
telling me I'm ignoring Georgie?
294
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,207
I'm not saying that.
295
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,209
I'm just reminding you
296
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,078
that you got two sons.
297
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,913
I know.
298
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,883
I also got a daughter
I need to spend more time with.
299
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:03,884
You do.
300
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,019
But I wouldn't worry about her.
301
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,421
She's an angel.
302
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,790
(rap music playing,
crowd cheering)
303
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,129
ALL (chanting):
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
304
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,931
Put me down!
Sheldon! Sheldon!
305
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,067
SHELDON: Put me down!
I'm not enjoying this!
306
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,434
Missy, what are you doing here?!
307
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,603
Cuttin' loose.
What are you doing here?
308
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,604
SHELDON:
Slowly! Slowly!
309
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,474
Slowly!
310
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,842
You, too?!
311
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,143
Hello, Georgie!
312
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,544
You're not supposed
to be here.
313
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,147
Neither are you!
You're grounded!
314
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,183
Come on.
315
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,051
Both of you are going home. Now.
316
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,220
Oh, thank goodness.
Aw.
317
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,092
How's puberty
treating you?
318
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,861
Because it is
knocking me for a loop.
319
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,198
Right?
320
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,039
ADULT SHELDON: Somehow,
my parents didn't find out
321
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,373
about me partying heartily.
322
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,242
But I did pay a price
323
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,212
for burning the candle
at both ends.
324
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,547
I made a mistake
on a math test.
325
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,583
In my exhaustion,
I did all the calculations
326
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,885
in my head,
327
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:15,956
and, like a common zoo animal,
forgot to show my work.
328
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,926
I just saw one of those girls
from the party,
329
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,528
and she acknowledged
my existence by doing this.
330
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,864
I've never felt so alive.
331
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,635
Are you okay?
332
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,537
No, I'm not.
333
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,407
Yeah, so?
334
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,210
A B-plus-- that's
the beginning of the end.
335
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,678
The end of what?
336
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,913
My life.
337
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:43,050
If I don't make some changes,
who knows how far I'll fall.
338
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,653
I could wind up a drug addict,
or a lawyer.
339
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,521
Is it possible
you're overreacting?
340
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:52,525
No. Starting today, I'm done
helping the football team.
341
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:56,563
But if you do that, girls will
no longer greet me like this.
342
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,000
I'll greet you like that.
343
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,469
It's not the same.
344
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,139
ADULT SHELDON: Extricating
myself from this situation
345
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,540
was not going to be easy.
346
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:12,012
My father was counting on me,
Meemaw was counting on me,
347
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,014
the school was counting on me.
348
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,516
After much thought,
I decided to employ
349
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:20,687
the one strategic maneuver
I knew I could count on.
350
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,155
I tattled.
351
00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,123
Mom?
352
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:26,559
("I Fought the Law"
by The Clash playing)
353
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,161
*
354
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:31,698
* Robbin' people
with a six-gun *
355
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,567
* I fought the law
and the law won... *
356
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,071
Sheldon got a B-plus!
That's terrible for him!
357
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:41,108
I'm very disappointed
in all three of you.
358
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,044
That is right. Missy, this
is for your ballet class.
359
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,046
We do not go
to parties.
360
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,048
I am very disappointed.
361
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,322
Hey.
362
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,024
Got to go pick up
363
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,426
some equipment for the team;
you want to join me?
364
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,361
Can't. I'm grounded.
365
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,463
(sighs):
Yeah, well...
366
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,465
I won't tell if you won't.
367
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,336
Sheldon going?
368
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,638
That little snitch?
Absolutely not.
369
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,479
Sheldon still gonna
help you with the math?
370
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,081
I don't think so.
371
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:24,384
But I did hear his little
Asian friend can do it.
372
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,361
Hey.
373
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:35,695
Hello.
374
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:36,896
So...
375
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,699
Oilers are a four-point favorite
for this Sunday's game,
376
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:43,570
but it's a home game, so I'm
thinking I give the points.
377
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,605
What do you think?
378
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:48,275
I think I have
to tell on you again.
379
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:51,344
Go ahead. What's your
mama gonna do, ground me?
380
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:57,784
Take the Oilers,
give the points.
381
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:01,588
I love you, Moonpie.
(chuckles)
382
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:07,327
ADULT SHELDON: For the record,
the Oilers lost that game
383
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,795
by four touchdowns.
384
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,398
Meemaw never asked
for my advice again.
385
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,670
Come on, come on,
come on. Damn it!
386
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,838
Okay.
387
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,474
One more time.
388
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,711
Mama needs a new Jet Ski!
389
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,146
And...
390
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,115
rat bastard!
391
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:32,185
How you doin' there, Connie?
392
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,287
Hey, Vincent.
(chuckles)
393
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,156
What brings you
to Louisiana?
394
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,290
Wait, don't tell me.
395
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,092
You're here to see Tony Orlando.
396
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,727
'Fraid not.
397
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,429
Oh, well, you ought
to check him out.
398
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,764
He'll, uh, knock your socks off.
399
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:45,965
I like my socks on.
400
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:50,270
Connie, you're putting me
in a very awkward position.
401
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,805
I won a toaster oven
playing keno.
402
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,341
You want it?
403
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,177
I got one.
404
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,611
I want my money.
405
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,580
(chuckles):
All right.
406
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,081
Hang on.
407
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,452
That's a very nice jacket.
408
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,787
You're looking dapper.
409
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,325
Ah. (chuckles)
410
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,560
Hey, they comp my room here.
411
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,861
They do that for you?
412
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:18,531
Actually, they frown
upon my presence here.
413
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:22,135
Oh. I also get a coupon
for the breakfast buffet.
414
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,803
You should look into that.
415
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,807
(sighs, mutters)
416
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,908
Constance!
417
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,178
Patience, Vincenzo.
418
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,646
(chuckles)
419
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,584
(bell ringing)
Yes! (laughing)
420
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,752
(coins clacking)
Oh!
421
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,688
All right, now we're talking.
422
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,191
Will you take a down payment
in quarters?
423
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,358
Do I have a choice?
424
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,759
(laughs)
425
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,261
Start scoopin'.
426
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,163
I got to go see Tony Orlando.
427
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,831
(coins continue clacking)
428
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,370
Oof.
429
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,505
(shudders)
430
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,741
(exasperated grunt)
431
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:04,711
(yells)
432
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,179
(coins continue clacking)
433
00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:07,514
Hey!
434
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,849
Hey, I need another cup!
29659
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