Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:10,279
I'm sorry but I'm leaving home.
Where do you want to go?
2
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:11,919
I'm going to France.
3
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:15,079
Tom Fisher.
You've improved the view.
4
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,439
Oh, hello.
5
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,079
Ah, Cedric Charlton,
6
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,999
I'm from the office
of the Inspector of Taxes.
7
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,599
Oh, yeah!
8
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,799
I'm afraid that I anticipate
9
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,639
that you may owe
a rather large sum in tax.
10
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,599
You need to fill out this form.
Form?
11
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,239
A yellow one. We've sent a few.
Ma, we had a form?
12
00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:34,159
Never seen one. Sure we never.
No. Never had no form. Ma says so.
13
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,480
Come in, Mr Charlton.
14
00:00:36,081 --> 00:00:37,921
Come in and help yourself, please.
15
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,599
It's an important form.
16
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,839
Can a form be important, really?
Mum!
17
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,199
Oh, thanks, Mariette.
18
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,479
In you come, Mr Charlton.
Come on, that's it.
19
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,039
Help yourself to some fish and chips.
20
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,759
There's plenty, we buy spares.
21
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,319
Oh! Oh, no, no,
honestly, I've eaten.
22
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:52,919
A cup of tea? Coffee?
23
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,919
Oh, no. No, thanks.
What about a drink, then?
24
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,919
A bottle of beer?
Oh, no...
25
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,879
A glass of port? Slurp of cider?
No, I...
26
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,919
What about a cocktail?
Ah, no. No, thank you.
27
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,679
Ah-ah! I'll do us a special.
HE CHUCKLES
28
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,559
Erm, ah, so, right, in terms
of your tax form, Mr Larkin...
29
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,239
Do you know anyone who wants a kitten?
30
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,319
No. No. Ah, sorry.
As I was saying about the form...
31
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,479
So, do you want a kitten?
32
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,039
Well, my landlady
doesn't allow pets, to be honest...
33
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:18,359
Oh.
34
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,839
Erm, should I just
fill in the form for you
35
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,399
and then you can sign it?
No, no, no, don't worry about that,
36
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,719
there's plenty of time.
No rush at all.
37
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,239
There you go.
I...
38
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,559
No, no.
..don't drink.
39
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,159
No, no, I insist.
40
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,759
Cheers.
41
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,640
ALL: Cheers!
42
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,399
HE SLURPS AND GAGS
43
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,079
GOOSE HONKS
44
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,720
Oh!
45
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,879
What?
HONKS AGAIN
46
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,079
Well... that was decent.
47
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,559
More strawberry mousse, anyone?
It's all gone.
48
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:56,079
There you go.
Next up, a "Chauffeur." Oh.
49
00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:00,439
That is vermouth, whiskey, gin,
dribble of Angostura.
50
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,399
Erm... number of children?
51
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,319
Yep!
He's a sharp one.
52
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,480
Oh, ah, no, sorry,
what's the number of children?
53
00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:11,119
QUIETLY: One, two, three,
four, five, six.
54
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,279
Ah, six. Six. No more?
Plenty of time, give us a chance.
55
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,519
MA LAUGHS
56
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,279
SHE BELCHES
Oh! Manners, pardon?
57
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,640
PA CHUCKLES Wind all of a sudden, see?
58
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:26,239
Erm... I...
I must know your income, Mr Larkin.
59
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,679
Well, that's a good question.
60
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,479
What do you get?
Oh!
61
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,279
Erm... not much. Ha-ha.
62
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,239
Just give me a rough estimate.
63
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,719
Oh, we're lucky to clear a fiver.
Hm-mm.
64
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,439
Fiver! I'd like to see one.
65
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,159
Supposing, supposing I put down
an income of 500 a year...
66
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,399
Gorblimey!
Hundred weeks in a year now, Ma.
67
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,879
Milk?
Please.
68
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,479
Erm...
Yeah, that's just what I need.
69
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,439
Oh, goodness.
70
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,439
Ah, Mr Charlton, drop of milk?
71
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,919
Eases the kidneys, opens the bowels?
72
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,559
Oh, God, no!
No, no, no, no. No. God, no.
73
00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:59,559
Look, I need to get
the last train home.
74
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:00,599
You've missed it.
What?
75
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,999
You have to stay the night.
What?
76
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,119
Oh, I can't stay... No. I... I...
77
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,759
Well, I haven't got any pyjamas.
78
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,119
Well, I'll lend you mine.
Shush now.
79
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,879
Perfik. We'll make up a bed for you.
What about that?
80
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,719
And in the morning, you can persuade
our Mariette to stay around.
81
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,639
Where are you going?
France. After the summer.
82
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,920
Why?
To see the world.
83
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,959
HE COUGHS
84
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,999
Goodness!
85
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,559
That is great stuff.
Mm-mm!
86
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:41,679
So, ah... tax form, tax form,
tax form, tax form...
87
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,999
You should eat something
to absorb the alcohol.
88
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,879
Oh! Oh, no, I'm fine, I am fine.
I'm fine, thank you.
89
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,079
HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY
90
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,360
SNORING
91
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,159
OWL HOOTS
92
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,759
HE WHISTLES
93
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,279
Morning, Libby.
Morning, Mr Larkin.
94
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,239
She's got a nice arse.
95
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,600
Your Mrs Fancy.
Um... Thank you...
96
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,760
Mr Larkin.
Edith.
97
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,160
Sir George.
98
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,879
Oh. Larkin.
And why the face?
99
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,999
That big, old pile
giving you more gip?
100
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,759
Well, ah... these old houses
do cause one or two headaches.
101
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,639
Yeah. You don't even live in it,
do you?
102
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,079
You're out there skulking
in the gamekeeper's cottage.
103
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:28,919
Yes, but...
That's not a home, Sir George,
104
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,959
it's an albatross.
I'll give you a good price.
105
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,959
Bluff Court is not for sale.
106
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,359
Nonetheless, tell your missus
I'll be popping over later.
107
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,439
But...
Ah-nah!
108
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,639
I...
Ah-ah! Ah!
109
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,959
Would you, please...
Ah! Sir George.
110
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,319
I can assure you...
Ah!
111
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:42,479
There is no...
Ah!
112
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,120
She'll...
HE CHUCKLES
113
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,959
There you are.
Thanks.
114
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,599
What do you think of our Mr Charlton?
115
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:02,639
He talks too much about forms.
Not you. Mariette.
116
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:05,119
Well, he seems sweeter than most.
117
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,159
He likes you, you know.
118
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,599
Well, there's not much point
in that, is there?
119
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,640
With me on my way.
120
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,639
Hello, Ma.
There's my popsicle.
121
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,479
Did you get that sauce?
122
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,879
Have I got the sauce!
123
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,639
Saucy.
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho!
124
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,599
THEY SMOOCH LOUDLY
125
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,119
Is he up yet?
No. No?
126
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,639
Why is he on the snooker table?
127
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,279
Oh, cos he said he liked the colour
128
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,919
and the big flatness,
as everything was spinning.
129
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,319
Montgomery...
130
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,799
ready for the Straw Man race
tomorrow? Yep.
131
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,519
Ah! I found this.
132
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,199
Oh, look!
133
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,079
Three times winners
before I filled out nicely.
134
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,039
Oh, yeah. Mm!
135
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,319
CEDRIC GROANS UPSTAIRS Aye-aye.
136
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,759
Sounds like the taxman
needs a pick-me-up.
137
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,599
HE WINCES
138
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,279
SNOOKER BALL CLINKS
139
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,960
HE GROANS
140
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,159
Wanna hand?
141
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,519
HE GROANS Oh, no.
142
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,279
No, I'm... quite capable of...
143
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,559
Oh!
THUD
144
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,599
HE GROANS
145
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,960
CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYS
146
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,279
'OK. Right, get up now.
147
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,559
'Ready?
148
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,039
'Ooh! Ooh!'
149
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,799
Oh! Oh, God!
150
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,160
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
151
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,079
'Let's just get these off.
152
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,439
'Huh? Erm... Ooh!'
153
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,520
HE SHUDDERS
154
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,039
Sleep all right?
HE GASPS
155
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,279
Nice egg or two for breakfast?
156
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,319
Larkin special, hair of the dog?
157
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,279
Don't ask what's in it,
don't stare at it, just drink. No?
158
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:59,079
All right, I'll have it.
159
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,079
Sorry, what's the time?
160
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,000
Cock's been up for four hours.
161
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,079
No! No! No! Oh, God, no.
162
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,759
I must make a telephone call.
163
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:10,959
Well, use our blower.
164
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,319
No, no, I can't, I can't,
it's for official business only.
165
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,400
God, is there a, erm,
a... a... a telephone box?!
166
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,359
Right, OK...
167
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,520
HEAVY BREATHING
Thank you. Thank you...
168
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,079
I should be going to work, I'm sorry.
169
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,360
Once I get those pyjamas off you.
What?
170
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,120
WHISPERS: Oh, my God.
171
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,399
HE SLURPS
172
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,199
Oh, God!
173
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,880
Mm, thank you.
See ya later.
174
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,439
COIN CLINKS
175
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,119
PHONE RINGS
176
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,239
HE EXHALES DEEPLY
177
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,599
Morning! Morning, Sir.
178
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,119
It's, ah... it's Cedric Charlton.
179
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,879
I'm, ah... I'm down at the Larkin's,
as requested.
180
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,639
I'm a... I'm afraid I'm going to be
a little late in this morning.
181
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,119
You found some serious
irregularities, I trust?
182
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,479
'No, not really.'
183
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:08,879
I mean, he owes some tax,
184
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,279
but I hardly feel it warrants
any special attention...
185
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,839
COW MOOS Oh!
186
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,359
'What?'
187
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,599
'Sorry, sir.'
188
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,159
Oh, there's a... erm...
189
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,519
So, I will just, erm,
190
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,039
I will just leave the forms
with Mr Larkin
191
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,759
and head into work immediately,
192
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:24,799
if that's all right?
193
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,119
No, you'll investigate him
to within an inch of his life,
194
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,239
as I told you.
Oh, really?
195
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,199
It's just that I have cases
of major fraud
196
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,239
which I think warrant
a little more attention.
197
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,919
Charlton,
unless you wish to be sacked,
198
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,319
don't return without evidence
199
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,720
of criminal tax evasion
by Sidney Larkin!
200
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,839
Yes. Yes.
201
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,120
Very good, sir.
PHONE CLICKS
202
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,159
PHONE DIAL WHIRS
203
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,560
PHONE RINGS
204
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,319
CLICK Morning.
205
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,719
Right, my chap's down there,
and we'll make sure he gets his man.
206
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:57,759
Good.
207
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,279
Thank you, Jeffrey.
208
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,879
Nice to know that
persistent offenders are punished.
209
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,800
I recommend confiscating his farm,
in lieu of taxes.
210
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,880
CLICK, DING
211
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,160
HORSE HOOVES CLOPPING
212
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,079
ROOSTER CROWS
213
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,279
Shh, shh, shh.
214
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,679
Oh, there you are,
my little lemon drops.
215
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:37,639
Oh, Sandra, you've been
very generous this morning.
216
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,039
Oh, Montgomery.
217
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,719
I hope you're not gonna be
too disappointed tomorrow?
218
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:42,999
I won't be.
Well, you will be,
219
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,319
cos you've been waiting years
to be old enough
220
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,599
to be in this Straw Man race,
and you're not gonna win.
221
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,239
TWINS: Wee-hee-hee!
THUD
222
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,959
All right, twins?
223
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,119
Ah-ha. Mostly.
224
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,879
Why won't we?
Well, he's got little legs.
225
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,959
He'll be up against Pauline's
big, fit bloke
226
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,239
and all the other lads.
227
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:04,320
Right, now I really want to win.
You need a better pram. Come on.
228
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,479
You'll look after him, won't you?
229
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,559
Can someone else be in the pram,
please?
230
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:12,039
Well, there's no-one else
that's old enough.
231
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,559
It's a Larkin pram. Needs a Larkin.
232
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:18,439
Has the taxman gone?
Oh, I hope not.
233
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,839
He's gonna be good for Mariette.
He's not French enough.
234
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:25,639
And he's too nervy.
Spent too long in an office.
235
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:26,879
Sucks the life out of you.
236
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,919
Do we owe a lot of money in tax?
237
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,319
Oh!
Come on...
238
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,199
Oh!
..let's have another go!
239
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,999
I think pop and me
can handle Mr Charlton.
240
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,520
Don't you?
SHE CHUCKLES
241
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,080
There you go. That's it.
242
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,639
Hello, Cedric. You all right?
Mm-mm.
243
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:53,239
Do you know something?
I'm not liking your name.
244
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,679
Oh, then, call me Mr Charlton, sir.
No, no, no.
245
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:57,519
I'm not one for "mistering", either.
246
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,919
Yeah, no. I tell you what,
I'll call you Charley.
247
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,319
Charley, that's better.
Yeah.
248
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,919
I've got left-over kippers, want some?
249
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,359
I wouldn't.
Too much wire work in kippers!
250
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,159
HORSE SNORTS
251
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,359
Hello.
Hi, hello, hi.
252
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,600
Hi.
253
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,999
So, in terms of tax,
254
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,759
I need to look at your books
immediately.
255
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,839
That'll be tricky,
cos they're all in me head.
256
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:28,759
Erm, oh, well, I am opening
an investigation, and I, ah...
257
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,519
Well, I warn you, it will be thorough.
258
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,439
So, you'll be stopping again
tonight, Charley, yeah?
259
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,359
Lovely! Use a bed this time.
Hmm.
260
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,399
Ah... Thank you,
but I will stay in the village.
261
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,279
Well, I don't know what you think
you'll be thoroughly investigating,
262
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,919
cos I'm just a simple man, Charley.
You know what I mean?
263
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,919
Scraping a living
off an unforgiving land.
264
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,519
Yeah, I mean, when was the last time
we had a holiday?
265
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,679
Never even been to Margate.
I hear there's a beach? Yeah?
266
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,879
Oh... Well, um...
267
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,559
Well, in absence of written figures,
I will, erm...
268
00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,479
I will accompany you
on your working day
269
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:03,559
so as to properly assess
your earnings. Yeah.
270
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,119
Righteo. You do that.
271
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,199
I'll tag along, if that's all right?
272
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,160
Hm-mm. Yeah.
273
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,639
I can't hear you breathing.
274
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:32,080
Oh, sorry, I...
I keep forgetting to.
275
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,400
HE BREATHES DEEPLY
276
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,999
Come on, then.
277
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,759
Watch it, girls.
278
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,240
Are you all right? Good.
279
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,559
Reg.
280
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,719
Have you got a room for Charley here?
281
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,199
He's a bit nervy.
Ha-ha! He is, yeah.
282
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,119
Works in an office.
It's a nasty business.
283
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,039
Any pal of yours, Pop.
You're a good man. Half price.
284
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,519
Oh! No, no, I'll pay the full price,
thank you.
285
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,879
Blimey, someone who can afford
full price.
286
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,039
Oh, we dream of that.
Don't we, dad? Yeah. Yep.
287
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,679
All right, General.
Who's your friend, Larkin?
288
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,759
Oh, he's a taxman.
Salt of the earth.
289
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,480
Don't hold it against him.
Loves a drink.
290
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,080
He's very nervy.
Works in an office.
291
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,319
Mariette.
Pauline.
292
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:33,079
Who have you got here?
Friend of mine.
293
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,359
Hmm. Not bad.
294
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,880
Bit nervy.
295
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,359
I'll, um...
get Charley some aspirin, pop.
296
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,000
Hmm.
Come on.
297
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,680
Cheers, Reg.
Huh!
298
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,519
Lady Rose.
Oh, Mr Larkin!
299
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,119
My husband suggested
you might be dropping in.
300
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:14,559
Yes, I want to buy your house.
301
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:17,799
So I hear. Why?!
302
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,240
So I can pull it down.
303
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,040
What a fabulous idea.
Hmm.
304
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,999
What's it worth?
Oh, seven grand. Cash.
305
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,279
I mean, there's enough
bricks and scrap in there
306
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,359
to rebuild a town.
307
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,039
Plus, I'd share out the land
a bit more fairly, like, you know?
308
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,039
And, well, it'll stop
killing your old man, won't it?
309
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,359
Sadly, I can't see him ever agreeing.
310
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,760
Oh, he will. If you back me up.
311
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,759
Call it seven, five, give me the five,
312
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,840
and let's try to make it happen.
313
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,799
Now, get 'em down your throat
for Mariette.
314
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,039
Oh, yeah, well, I have
a narrow gullet, apparently, so...
315
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,960
It's two pills, not a whole trout.
316
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,519
Oh... Where's your father?
317
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,839
Oh, he must have been called away
to help someone.
318
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,839
I'll fill you in
about the family business.
319
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,400
Fancy a walk?
Oh.
320
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,600
HE SIGHS
MOUTHS: Oh, my...
321
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,999
So, your biggest
job for the race tomorrow
322
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,479
is to be as light as you can.
323
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,839
All right, I'll just saw this arm off.
324
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,679
Just don't eat anything for a day.
325
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,639
I am not going to starve
for a stupid pram race!
326
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,279
It's not stupid!
327
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,919
It's the most important event
of the year!
328
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,120
This'll win it for us.
329
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,719
Hmph!
330
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,239
ROOSTER CROWS
331
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,319
It's a death trap.
Hmm?
332
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,199
I've just seen a rat
pack it's bag and move out.
333
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,239
It's too far gone even to rent out.
334
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,279
And, you've been patching up
that orange heap for 50 years.
335
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,999
Orangerie.
FRENCH ACCENT: Orangerie.
336
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,119
I'm still waiting for an orange!
Oh!
337
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,359
Sir George...
Hmm?
338
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,759
..who do you love most?
Apart from the wife, of course?
339
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,079
Oh... the Queen.
340
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,159
Oh!
341
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,680
Erm... no, no, erm...
Our daughter.
342
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,679
Uh... Rosemary.
343
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,199
And why doesn't she visit any more?
344
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,639
Because as soon as she arrives,
345
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,679
you set her to work mending something.
346
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,319
You see, I'd do anything
to keep my family, I really would,
347
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:34,479
and selling this to me
is how you can do that. Yeah?
348
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,239
I mean, our Mariette,
she's wanting to leave home,
349
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,679
and, I... I promise,
it is breaking our hearts.
350
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,439
I mean, we could auction it, George,
351
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,399
but it would all go
in tax and commission...
352
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,319
Exactly!
Who are you preserving it for, man?
353
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,999
Life's to be enjoyed. Huh?
354
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,920
GLASS BREAKING
355
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,559
Look, I ought to be
with your father. Listen...
356
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,479
BIRDSONG
357
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,239
You don't hear that in your office.
358
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,479
No, we have Miss Randall's
gravelly humming.
359
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,399
SHE GIGGLES
360
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,759
Ah!
361
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,799
Right, I am very sweaty.
362
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,159
Well, you've got to cook a pig
before you can eat it.
363
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,359
Ah...
364
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:30,079
Oh! Sorry,
it's an old country saying.
365
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,519
Got a load of those.
366
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:32,759
Most don't make sense.
367
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,199
My goodness! Right,
I'm still wearing your pyjamas!
368
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,399
God, no wonder I'm so hot!
369
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,120
Well, you'll have to take them off.
370
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,079
Now?
Good a time as any.
371
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,439
Oh, erm...
372
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:44,799
Erm, I...
373
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,719
You don't have to hide in a bush.
374
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,280
I saw it all last night.
God!
375
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,640
Erm...
376
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,000
SHE GIGGLES
377
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,439
Oh! Nice bod.
378
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,599
You are nervy, though.
Yeah, you mentioned that.
379
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:18,879
SHE GIGGLES
380
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,560
Could I... Could I just, erm...
381
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,839
You are very beautiful!
382
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,039
Thanks. It's luck of the draw.
383
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,399
I don't just sit around
tossing my hair, though.
384
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,559
Do a proper job on the farm.
Erm, I'm sure.
385
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,799
You need all hands to the pump.
386
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,840
Pop's embarrassed
to say how little we make.
387
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,039
So, how come you're in the tax game?
388
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,599
Oh, well,
my parents came over from Nigeria
389
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,079
because they loved the British
sense of order and fair play,
390
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,119
and that includes paying your taxes.
391
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:52,919
Oh, yeah?
Yep.
392
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,039
Yeah, they actually applied
for the job for me.
393
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,879
I'd, ah... I'd always
wanted to be a disc jockey.
394
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,719
Anyway, I do really
need to catch up with your father
395
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,759
and his tax affairs.
396
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,359
Oh, so, come over for dinner tonight.
397
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,839
And don't forget my bottom.
What?
398
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:13,440
Oh! Oh.
SHE GIGGLES
399
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,199
You see, Ma, everyone wins.
400
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,319
Sir George gets his life back,
so does his missus,
401
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,999
plus, she gets a bit of cash
for herself.
402
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,319
Shot! Oh...
403
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,599
Oh, kisses the blue!
404
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,719
We earn a few bob,
405
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:48,279
plus the village gets
somewhere else to have a picnic.
406
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,879
There's a light lunch
in the billiard room, kids!
407
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,519
KIDS: Coming!
Half down in cash, no paperwork.
408
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,560
Hmm.
Come on, then.
409
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,639
MUMBLING: Oh, very good.
410
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,439
Hello, my little pumpkin.
What you getting?
411
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,000
A pie.
Don't forget to chew.
412
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,040
Hmm. Thank you. Mm...
413
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,599
Where'd you get the ackers?
The what?
414
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,159
The bloody lettuce, cash, keep-up?
415
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:21,639
Erm...
416
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,679
I'm, ah, not at liberty to say.
417
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,400
Do you want to be banned from church?
418
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,400
I've sold Bluff Court.
419
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,599
At this school,
we believe in the three Rs.
420
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,959
I can't say who... ah, who to.
421
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,239
Shh, shh, shh!
422
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,639
Yeah... I really can't say it,
actually.
423
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,919
It's obviously Pop Larkin.
424
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,960
Who else could buy your house,
you posh cretin?
425
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,879
PHONE RINGS
426
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,679
CLICK
'Mr Alec Norman. Good day to you.'
427
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:59,319
This is Norma, Alec.
'Yes, I recognise your voice.'
428
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,920
I have news.
429
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,999
Let's go, let's go! Come on.
430
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,519
That's it. Give me some room.
431
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,839
All right, Pop.
Hello, treasure.
432
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,239
Old Charley boy's a sweetheart,
isn't he?
433
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,359
Specs and all, talks nice,
shows he's solid.
434
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,639
You got to take this serious, Dad.
He could close us down.
435
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,359
No, never. Never.
436
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,839
Well, I've invited him
for supper tonight.
437
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,879
What?
You said you liked him.
438
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,879
But Mariette,
it's like a fox in the henhouse!
439
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,759
I was planning on keeping him
at a distance,
440
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:29,839
till I get the deal done.
441
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,759
Well, no,
we've got to talk him through
442
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,959
how poor and honest we are.
All right, fine,
443
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,479
but just tell Ma to keep supper down
to one goose, then, yeah?
444
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,119
Right.
Right.
445
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:40,880
Don't eat it all, Bessie, come on.
446
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,959
Saw that new Tom.
447
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,599
Oh, yeah?
He's got tongues wagging.
448
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,959
Hmm.
Why?
449
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,839
Why, what?
450
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,079
Why do you mention him?
451
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,200
Well, why wouldn't I?
452
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,760
PIG SNORTS
453
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,319
HE SIGHS
454
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,679
DOOR KNOCK
455
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,999
Yes?
Mr Charlton?
456
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,959
Erm, yes. Hello.
457
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,639
Alec Norman. Concerned taxpayer.
458
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,039
Oh! And what concerns you?
459
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,679
Word is,
you're from the Inland Revenue.
460
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,879
I've heard about a serious attempt
461
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,679
to circumvent our tax laws.
462
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:38,079
Ah, I'm sorry, I was just about
to go out for supper, actually.
463
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,439
It concerns Mr Larkin. Know him?
464
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,200
Yes, I do.
465
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,639
Today, he paid
several thousand pounds in cash
466
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,639
to secure a local mansion.
467
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,759
Are you sure?
468
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:50,919
He has a very large,
469
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,279
and if I do say them myself,
attractive, family to support.
470
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,919
He owns a Rolls-Royce.
471
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,079
He said he was looking after it
for a friend.
472
00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,399
This may come as a shock,
473
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,719
but people like Larkin
don't always tell the truth.
474
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,879
He's a wide boy and a leech.
Well, if he is, I'll find out.
475
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,439
I'm taking an audit
of his financial affairs.
476
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,159
So, where were you today
when he was doing his shady deal?
477
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,159
Oh, I was, ah...
478
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,799
DREAMY MUSIC PLAYS
479
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,360
I was, erm...
480
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,599
Hello?
Sorry?
481
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,479
I'm told you were out
with Larkin's daughter, Mariette.
482
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,399
Oh, ah, well... Ah, was I?
483
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,279
You might ask yourself
if she was there
484
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,160
to distract you from your purpose.
485
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,359
DOOR CLOSES
486
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:43,280
ROOSTER CROWS
487
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,039
Whee!
488
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,439
Bumps, hold on!
489
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,000
All right, Charley.
Hello! Hello!
490
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,799
Oh!
491
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,439
Oh, no.
492
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,399
Ahh!
493
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:02,839
CRASH
494
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,319
All right?
495
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,359
I'm all right.
Ow!
496
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,080
Oh, never mind you, how's the pram?
497
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,519
Oh, Charley boy, come in!
498
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,319
Mariette!
Oh, we killed a goose for you.
499
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,199
Yeah, only the one,
it's all we could afford.
500
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,759
Yeah, Primrose did it,
she loves a bit of goose strangling.
501
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,399
Loves it.
I'm afraid I'm not staying.
502
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,039
Look, I know about your purchase
of the property Bluff Court.
503
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:37,399
You paid in cash, covertly,
to avoid tax and charges.
504
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,759
Yeah, yeah, but Charley, look,
if Her Majesty is prepared
505
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,359
to put her special face on them notes,
506
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:42,520
who are we not to use them?
507
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:46,799
And, you kept me entertained
508
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,599
while your father concluded his deal.
509
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,319
Let's talk about it inside.
510
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,199
Yeah, you must think
I'm a complete idiot.
511
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,160
No. Partial, at best.
512
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,680
I'm returning your bottom.
513
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,039
Oh, no, look, wait a minute,
look, Charley...
514
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,919
My tax investigations
are not yet concluded,
515
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,120
so I will see you tomorrow.
516
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,159
Well, this is peculiar.
What?
517
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:29,359
It's all gone a bit flat-chested
since the taxman showed up, eh?
518
00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:31,520
No thanks, Montgomery.
519
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,279
Why's Mr Charlton picking on us?
520
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,119
Fair to say, we have never rushed
to pay tax.
521
00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:41,719
Everyone's like you, aren't they?
Why'd he come calling on us?
522
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,199
Good question.
523
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,799
Just to warn you,
everyone isn't like Pop and Ma.
524
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,439
I'm disappointed in Mr Charlton.
525
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,879
Well, no, no, Mariette.
He's all right.
526
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,199
His job's got him by the neck,
is all. Eating him alive.
527
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,479
Yeah, but if he knew you,
he wouldn't be so snotty.
528
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:56,839
Well...
529
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,559
I'm going for a walk.
530
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,359
Yeah, all right, love.
531
00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:02,639
He can't treat you like this, Pop.
532
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,559
Anyway, moping never buttered
no parsnips, did it, eh?
533
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:09,480
Victoria, nice work
with the perambulator as well.
534
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,639
What are you doing?
535
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,359
Er, I told you not to eat.
Before the race tomorrow.
536
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,039
I've got to push ya.
537
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,799
Monty!
538
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,759
Ma! Put the spuds down!
539
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,119
Oh, no...
540
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,639
No, no!
541
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,039
What are you doing?
542
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,079
How dare you?
543
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,039
Hey, hey, hey, Primrose, come on.
544
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,239
You two, pack it in, come on.
Kiss and make up.
545
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,839
No! I'm not doing his
Straw Man Race tomorrow.
546
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,919
I'm supposed to be the brainy
Larkin, and I'll look fatuous!
547
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,399
You won't!
548
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:43,479
Look what?
549
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:44,519
Hmm!
550
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,079
Well, you have to do it.
I asked everyone else.
551
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,079
Hmm, so good!
552
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,999
I'll do it.
You can't, Victoria.
553
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,159
Babies have to be 15 and up.
554
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,359
Montgomery,
I'll go in your pram for you.
555
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,399
All right?
I'm as light as a feather.
556
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,599
And look, I can pass for a girl.
Hello.
557
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,559
LAUGHTER
558
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,879
Come on, it'll be all right.
Come on, tuck in.
559
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,319
LAUGHTER I'm gonna spill it!
560
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,839
Course I'll win again.
Won't we, baby doll?
561
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,879
Eh, Pauline?!
562
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,519
THEY LAUGH
563
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,159
I need to get a new boyfriend.
564
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,959
Not pushing a pram tomorrow, Alec?
565
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,519
No. I value my dignity.
566
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:27,919
Except I heard the Larkins showed
you up at the May Day Fair.
567
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,519
I don't know what you mean.
568
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,559
Montgomery Larkin did a painting,
569
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,679
you thought it was a Turner,
and paid a fortune for it.
570
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,719
I take no pleasure...
571
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,399
HE GIGGLES
..reminding you.
572
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,000
SHE GIGGLES
573
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,639
Talk of the Devil's sister.
574
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,279
Evening, then, lads.
575
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,319
Hi.
576
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,519
Er... Could I take you out dancing?
577
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:51,919
Thanks, Dudley.
578
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,200
You've been asking me since
we were eight. It's still a no.
579
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,159
Pauline.
580
00:27:58,160 --> 00:27:59,359
Mariette.
581
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:00,999
Have you seen Mr Charlton?
582
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,999
Reckon he's in his room.
He don't seem too happy.
583
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,039
He's a taxman, in't he?
Where's the joy in that?
584
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,639
He and I had a good chat.
585
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,239
He's got it in for your father,
hasn't he?
586
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,520
Looks like your family's in trouble.
587
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,079
What do you think you're doing?!
588
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,639
Me?
Well, apart from anything,
589
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,159
you've been blabbing my pop's
business around to everyone.
590
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,839
Alec Norman is down there gloating.
591
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,359
Well, no, he told me,
not the other way around.
592
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:33,039
It's you who's playing me for a fool.
593
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:34,679
No, I was just protecting Dad.
594
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,199
Well, maybe you shouldn't.
He and Ma are good people.
595
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,799
And you ruined supper tonight.
Nobody could manage seconds.
596
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,999
Except Primrose and Montgomery.
And Ma and the twins.
597
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,959
Well, you all eat and drink
like lunatics,
598
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,519
so a night off might do you some good.
599
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,559
If we enjoy food and drink,
600
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,319
and generally spending,
especially Pop,
601
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,359
it's because he doesn't hoard money,
he enjoys sharing it around.
602
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:54,919
Well, no, no, he doesn't share it!
603
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,359
Where do you think the family
allowances, pensions,
604
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:58,439
and sick pay come from?
605
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,960
From taxes paid by people
other than your pop!
606
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,040
Argh!
607
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:19,999
Nice evening for it.
608
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,079
What in God's name are you doing?
609
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,319
Oh, this? It's... running.
610
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,839
Why?
Erm... It's healthy.
611
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,720
Meditative. Beautiful.
612
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,119
Ah... Yes, it is.
613
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,479
You seem twitchy.
Let me run you home.
614
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,159
No, I don't run.
615
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,039
Unless I'm escaping from a bull.
616
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:40,679
I meant in my car.
617
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,719
Oh... Er, thanks.
618
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:46,239
I need the fresh air,
to clear my head.
619
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,119
I could put you on my shoulders.
620
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,159
I'd actually love to do that.
621
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,599
I bet you would.
622
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,319
Good night.
623
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:57,240
Precious cargo like you,
I'm really unlikely to drop you.
624
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,519
I feel a bit funny.
625
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,359
Hmm. Go on, then.
626
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,519
Hmm? No.
627
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,039
The other funny. Here, in my belly.
628
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,679
Oh, me, too.
629
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:21,119
Might be indigestion.
You hear about that, don't you?
630
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,799
I've never had it in my life, Ma,
and I'm not starting now.
631
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,959
No.
632
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,999
Old Charlie.
633
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,079
He's got a point.
634
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,679
I don't like the way
he was looking at me.
635
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,999
Oh, we do our bit.
We can hold our heads up.
636
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,320
I'll take your mind off it.
637
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,799
Blimey, that's a first!
638
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,119
The whippet's usually
straight out the trap.
639
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,760
Yeah, well, he's curled up
and going nowhere.
640
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,519
COCKEREL CROWS
641
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,880
Ignore him.
642
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,079
All right there, sir?
643
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,199
Oh, yes, thank you.
644
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,079
Have you enjoyed your stay?
645
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,279
Erm... If I'm honest, no.
646
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:40,839
Oh, I bet you wish
you'd only paid half price, then?
647
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,599
No, I don't.
648
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,519
Not if it meant benefiting
from Mr Larkin's discount.
649
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,520
On second thoughts,
you can't have the toast.
650
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,240
Good morning, Mr Charlton.
Brigadier Chand.
651
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,799
Edith Pilchester. Miss.
652
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,159
We'd like some tax advice.
653
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,839
We pay none,
and you seem to be on the warpath.
654
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,759
Ah, I was actually
just about to leave.
655
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,640
But perhaps you'd like
to write to me at, erm...
656
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,599
HE SIGHS
657
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,520
Shall we find a tree to sit under?
658
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,959
Girls, go and cheer Pop up.
659
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,639
BOTH: We'll get our recorders!
660
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,000
THEY GIGGLE
661
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,799
You're not local, Mr Charlton?
662
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,559
No, no, I live in Catford.
Do you know it?
663
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,839
No, but it sounds charming.
Delightful.
664
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:01,599
We find it very lovely here.
665
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,439
Yes, it is.
666
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,159
In so many ways.
667
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,279
Well, out in the British Army
in India,
668
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,999
I said to my sister, "We should
retire to an English village."
669
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,479
I've never regretted it.
670
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,359
She has, though.
Oh, she hates it.
671
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:15,919
Finds it absolutely ghastly.
672
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:19,959
Ooh, so, you're here to see
our wonderful Mr Larkin.
673
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,079
Yes, well, I...
I don't share your admiration.
674
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:24,559
You don't know him.
675
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:26,519
Saved my bacon on a number
of occasions.
676
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,239
And mine. Exceedingly generous.
677
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,159
And a picture of physical
perfection, of course.
678
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,319
I'm on a small pension.
679
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,959
And Edith survives
on very limited investments.
680
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,999
Yes, you seem to be living on...
681
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,199
A pound a week.
That much?
682
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,679
I'm sure Catford is a lap of luxury,
683
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,799
but many of us in the countryside
live on the breadline.
684
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,079
But what if you have a big expense?
685
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:50,959
Mr Larkin often kindly pays.
686
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,239
Also for village gymkhanas.
687
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,359
Barn dances.
The Cheese Hoedown.
688
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,199
Sheep Week. Archery in the village
hall, until the accident.
689
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,479
Pop always puts his hand
in his pocket.
690
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:01,719
Yes...
691
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:06,279
My sister and some others resent him
cos nobody likes to be beholden.
692
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:07,959
But he never takes advantage.
693
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,839
WHEELBARROW PASSES
694
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,039
Do stay for the Straw Man Race.
695
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:14,919
Mr Larkin pays for the beer.
696
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,880
HE CHUCKLES
697
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,719
What's this, the gathering
of the poor and needy?
698
00:34:24,720 --> 00:34:27,479
I trust you nailed our man, Charlton?
699
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,119
Your boss will want your neck,
won't he?
700
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,759
Then you'll all be on skid row.
701
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,880
ENGINE ROARS, TYRES SCREECH
702
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:40,520
Perhaps I will stay.
703
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:56,719
THEY PLAY TUNELESSLY
704
00:34:56,720 --> 00:34:57,920
There she blows.
705
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:03,359
Oh, that's orchestra quality,
that, isn't it?
706
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,119
There's no stopping you two.
707
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,760
Oh, you're dancing as well. Lovely.
708
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,600
THEY CONTINUE PLAYING
709
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,760
Wow...
710
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:34,239
I, er... I owe you an apology.
711
00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:36,279
Oh, don't be so daft.
712
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:37,599
But go on.
713
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,959
Well, you still have sizeable arrears.
714
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,639
You're not wrong.
Cheeky!
715
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:46,359
And you may have to sell all
or part of the farm.
716
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:50,999
But I think I understand now
how you work. How's that?
717
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,799
You clearly give away more off
your own back
718
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,199
than you'd ever have to pay in tax.
719
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,519
But who's counted?
720
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:56,799
So, the good news is
721
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,279
that you can actually offset
your charitable donations
722
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,319
and reduce your year-on-year
liabilities
723
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,240
whilst compartmentalising
your emoluments.
724
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,399
And I can help you with that.
725
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:12,479
Ooh... Your Alec Norman
obviously does not like you.
726
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,479
And I'm pretty sure he's told
my boss to give you a hard time.
727
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,519
So you can call the dogs off now?
No.
728
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,319
I still have to investigate
any irregularities.
729
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,599
I'm sorry, it's my job.
730
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,519
Then get a better job.
731
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,479
I have thought...
Hello!
732
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,519
Hello, Aunt Fan.
733
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,559
Montgomery!
734
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:33,359
Your new baby's arrived.
735
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,440
Sorry for lateness.
I couldn't find my nappy.
736
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,479
Right, then. Go on, off you go.
737
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:46,599
Montgomery, remember,
you're drinking squash, not beer.
738
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,159
And watch out for that vicar,
he's a cheater.
739
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,599
And I don't mean that
speedy leopard thing.
740
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:52,999
Come on, kids.
741
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,240
Come and show Aunt Fan the pram.
742
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,760
Aw, that's good.
743
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,639
I'm sorry.
It's OK.
744
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,800
Also good.
745
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,759
Better and better.
746
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,720
SHE SIGHS
747
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:23,240
But that won't do.
748
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,759
This isn't you,
moping around the shop.
749
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,199
You reckon?
Nah.
750
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,679
Are you gonna rouse yourself
and save our farm,
751
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:37,480
or carry on sitting there
like a narky old goat?
752
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,319
And welcome
to this year's Straw Man Race.
753
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,839
I'm Johnny Delamere.
754
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,479
APPLAUSE Too kind.
755
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,359
Oi, Vicar. The minimum baby age
is 15. You're cheating.
756
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,759
Shut your face.
757
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,439
And never has the phrase
"beautiful baby" been so apt.
758
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,679
Except in one or two cases.
759
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:22,079
What did he say?
760
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,599
The straw reminds me
of when I played the Scarecrow
761
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,399
in Wizard at Woking Rec.
762
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:29,679
The Tin Man lit a fag in the wings
and set fire to me.
763
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:32,719
Onto the stage I went,
smouldering and burning,
764
00:38:32,720 --> 00:38:35,799
until Toto, bless him, cocked
his leg on me, and all was well.
765
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,920
Well, I hope that doesn't happen
again today.
766
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,839
Lost your nervy fella, Mariette.
767
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,280
Looks like it.
768
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,439
And so, to recap the rules,
769
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:51,079
every straw man must visit
each of the village's seven pubs,
770
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,079
and imbibe half a pint of ale.
771
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,119
Hello, Miss Pilchester.
Is Mr Larkin here?
772
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:56,559
He never misses a do.
773
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,119
No, he's got a lot on.
774
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,439
On your marks, get set,
775
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:02,519
gooooooooo...
776
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:03,799
Now!
777
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,840
CHEERING AND SHOUTING
778
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:12,240
WHOA!
779
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:17,000
Ha! We've had an early faller!
780
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,199
Ah, hello, Alec.
781
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,280
I'm in a spot of bother. Wondered
if I could have a little chinwag.
782
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,999
Oh, Lord, God of vengeance,
shine forth!
783
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,319
All right, calm down!
784
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,560
Ah!
785
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,200
SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
786
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,160
Yee-ha!
787
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,200
There we go.
Come on, come on!
788
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,520
Well done. On your way.
789
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,839
Honest truth,
you've got me bang to rights.
790
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:43,279
And who can blame you for ratting
on me to the Inland Revenue?
791
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:44,959
It's all you deserve, frankly.
792
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,719
Over the years, you've treated me
with an utter lack of respect.
793
00:40:47,720 --> 00:40:48,959
If you say so.
794
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,959
And credit where it's due, you've
got an old mucker in the tax office,
795
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,039
and you've sat on him
to do what you want to do.
796
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:57,439
I wouldn't say sat on, but anyway,
good luck finding all that back tax.
797
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,999
But, Alec, you see,
you're in business, like myself.
798
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:03,879
But you blew the whistle on me,
so you must be squeaky, right?
799
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:04,999
Squeaky?
800
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,119
Yeah, squeaky clean.
801
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,399
Yes, I am.
802
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,999
And paid the tax on everything
that you should have?
803
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,319
Like, for instance,
your housekeeper Janet?
804
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,959
I mean, you've paid her
employment stamp, yeah? Well...
805
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,759
And you didn't fiddle the purchase tax
806
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,759
on that lovely red lady runaround
you've got?
807
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,319
It's a high-performance sports car.
808
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,199
Or forget to declare the rental
809
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,239
on your dead mum-in-law's house
in Ramsgate?
810
00:41:24,240 --> 00:41:26,959
Or other bits of cash you've got
coming in from this and that?
811
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,519
Well, you'll never know, will you?
812
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,959
Because you don't have access
to my financial affairs.
813
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,240
Or do I?
814
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,040
Or do I?!
815
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,159
OR DO I?!
816
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:42,719
Yes.
817
00:41:42,720 --> 00:41:44,479
Mr Alec Norman,
818
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,959
by the powers invested in me
by Her Majesty's Revenue,
819
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,799
I shall look
into your bank statements,
820
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,759
and other papers, and what not,
821
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,799
and we shall... We will see.
822
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,840
Don't be ridiculous.
823
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:03,479
All right,
I will mention to your boss,
824
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:06,039
with whom, yes, I happen to have
been at school with,
825
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,679
that I may have been hasty
in suggesting that...
826
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,199
Let me stop you there.
Listen, it was only a bit of fun.
827
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,559
Let me stop you there.
828
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:18,160
Because there's more important
things than talking to you.
829
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,000
E-E-Exactly.
830
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,240
VOMITING
831
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,720
SMASH
832
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,199
I hope Montgomery
isn't too disappointed.
833
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,079
CHEERING
834
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,199
You cheating swine!
835
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,479
And here they come,
they've had a bit of a skinful,
836
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,159
so won't be making much sense.
837
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,079
You did it, Monty! You do care
about your little brother after all.
838
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:51,159
No, I don't.
839
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,439
How's my girls? You all right?
840
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,640
Dad, where's Charlie?
841
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,199
Oh, no, look out!
842
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:03,280
Huh?
843
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,440
Oh, sorry, sorry.
844
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:13,400
VICAR'S WHEEL RATTLES
Oh, no, no! Bugger!
845
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,639
It's so English, I could cry.
846
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,479
Go on, Monty!
Go on, go on!
847
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,519
CHEERING
848
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,359
And we have the winner!
849
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:28,679
Nice young chap,
pushing one of the older babies.
850
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,440
We did it!
Well done!
851
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,080
Fantastic.
852
00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:37,480
HE GROANS
853
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,239
Argh!
854
00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:42,999
Are you hurt?
Oh, no.
855
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,119
HE WINCES No.
856
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,360
I'll just deal
with this broken leg later (!)
857
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,039
Mariette, I am so sorry.
858
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,679
I have brought nothing but
disruption to you and your family.
859
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,759
We haven't made your life easy either.
860
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,479
Don't rush past town,
861
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:01,799
if you fancy staying with us
for a while?
862
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,199
Yeah.
863
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:04,759
Yeah, I would love to.
864
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,039
Er...
865
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:07,599
CLAPPING
866
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,479
Well done, you Larkins.
867
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,559
Oh, ta. Well, with legs like yours,
you'll win it next year.
868
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,639
Maybe with you in my pram?
869
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:17,359
Oh, sorry. Charlie, Tom.
870
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:18,479
Tom, Charlie.
871
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:19,839
Oh, hi.
872
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:21,679
Nice suit.
873
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:23,479
Oh, thank you.
874
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,879
Actually, I meant him over there.
875
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:27,480
Oh, right...
876
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:32,599
Heh, I...
877
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,359
I sense you're not very good
at small talk?
878
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:37,240
No, no, I'm good at everything.
879
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:40,399
Right...
880
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,520
It's all a bit well-behaved this
year, in't it? Hmm.
881
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,399
HE GULPS
882
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,400
Let me find an atheist to be sick on.
883
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,200
HE VOMITS
884
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,200
It's not pretty, but it is tradition.
885
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,279
Turned out all right today, then, Ma.
886
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:04,200
I'd say so.
887
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,759
Mr Charlton's joining us at home.
888
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,039
Is he? Primrose!
889
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,200
I need you to strangle another goose.
890
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,119
You should be proud, Primrose.
891
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,679
In the classical heritage,
892
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:21,719
killing what you eat is often
seen as the rarest of compliments.
893
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,359
He's a smart one.
894
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:27,039
Is it me, Charlie,
or are you looking a bit less nervy?
895
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,599
Someone with your nous would be
quite an asset round these parts.
896
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,119
Larkin.
Eh?
897
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:34,200
We need a word.
898
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:36,999
Right, what you got?
899
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,679
I'm afraid we've decided
not to sell our house to you.
900
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,159
Your down payment.
901
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,359
It's all there.
902
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,039
So, what's all this about, then?
903
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,679
We've had a better offer.
904
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:50,719
Who from?
Tom Fisher.
905
00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:56,080
Rather than knock it down,
he's turning it into a lovely hotel.
906
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,160
Right, then. Who's starving?
64738
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
