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1
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,633
- ♪ Get, get, get, get,
get on up ♪
2
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:09,759
♪ Get on up ♪
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,678
Holy shit!
4
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:13,304
How are you not freaking out?
5
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:16,141
- I am, I just freak out
in a quieter way than you do.
6
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:17,475
Give me my phone--
- Ah!
7
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,144
- What hell is going on?
8
00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,229
Bela, this better not be
about another pic
9
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:22,605
of Pete Davidson in sweatpants.
10
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,940
- I can't believe
I'm saying this,
11
00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:25,483
but it's actually better
than that.
12
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,902
Look at what Nico commented
on Kimberly's pic.
13
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:31,114
- "That dress tho."
Eye-bugging emoji.
14
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,074
Oh, damn! He wants to fuck you.
15
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,451
- That's what I said.
16
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,827
- No,
I don't think that's true.
17
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,454
- Wait, has Leighton seen this?
18
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,205
- No, she's made it very clear
she does not follow me
19
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,540
on social media.
- Me too.
20
00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,083
- Same.
- And please don't tell her.
21
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,668
She gets mad at me
when I touch her sweaters,
22
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,961
let alone her brother.
23
00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:46,463
- So are you gonna reply
to him?
24
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,423
- I thought I'd write back
something cute.
25
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,384
Like, I could say,
"That comment tho."
26
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,678
- Stop. No. That's bad.
27
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,054
Here's what you do.
28
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,806
Send him a picture,
something tasteful
29
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,350
like pulling the top
of your shirt way down
30
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,770
with your middle finger--
- Bela, too much.
31
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,106
- Oh, my God,
he just deleted it.
32
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,441
- Wait, what?
- What the fuck?
33
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,735
- He deleted the comment.
It's gone.
34
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,153
Is this bad?
35
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,654
Like, maybe he decided
36
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,156
he doesn't like
"that dress tho"?
37
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,367
- I mean, it doesn't seem good.
- Hold up.
38
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,495
Nico deleting the comment
is a good thing.
39
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,705
It means that not only was
he into your picture--
40
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,666
wink, wink--
but he thought about it enough
41
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,169
to actually come back
to it again later.
42
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,545
He's basically obsessed
with you.
43
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,089
- Wow, Bela may actually
have a point.
44
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:32,509
- Mm-hmm.
- You know what? No.
45
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,177
I will not drive myself crazy
46
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,970
waiting on
some man's attention.
47
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:39,682
I refuse to overthink this.
48
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,184
Mm-hmm.
49
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:44,646
- Ugh.
50
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,524
- Well?
- It's a coupon for Panera.
51
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,900
- ♪ First thing first,
I'm a winner ♪
52
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,485
♪ You ain't even competition ♪
53
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,403
♪'Cause my land
ain't for beginners ♪
54
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,364
♪ Only getting better when my
head is getting bitter ♪
55
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,907
♪ Yes, I gotta keep it moving
'cause I never... ♪
56
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,617
- I know we're collecting
these clothes
57
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,118
for people who need them,
58
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,995
but, really, haven't they been
through enough?
59
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,373
- But these clothes are to help
get people off the streets,
60
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,542
not into Dean & DeLuca
for brunch.
61
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,627
- Oh, my God, do you think
that's a brunch place?
62
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,379
- Hey, Leight, um, a bunch of
us are going
63
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,298
to a drag queen trivia tonight,
if you wanna join.
64
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,218
- Yeah, the winning team gets
a free eyebrow shaping
65
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,721
and a photo with Vermont's
best drag queen, Miranda Penis.
66
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,015
- I actually have plans
tonight.
67
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,226
Theta's throwing one of their
biggest parties of the year,
68
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,936
the Theta-lympics.
69
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,231
What? Why are you all so quiet?
70
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,817
Did I accidentally say
something triggering again?
71
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,694
- Hey, I get that
your brother is in Theta,
72
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:35,947
but frats can be extremely
sexist, toxic nightmares.
73
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,407
I mean,
we have been campaigning
74
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,742
to abolish Greek life
for over a year now.
75
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,744
- Okay, look,
I know frats get a bad rap,
76
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,163
all right, but Theta actually
does a lot of good.
77
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,583
They just finished a
construction project in Mexico.
78
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,544
- Yeah, on the Señor Frog's
that they burned down.
79
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,212
- Okay, fine,
maybe they're not perfect.
80
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,424
But have any of you even been
to a frat party?
81
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,967
Hmm?
82
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:57,677
- I chained myself to
a tree outside one once.
83
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,930
- So we're making
a judgmental assumption?
84
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,016
- You're right.
- Thank you.
85
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:05,143
- Yeah, I mean,
we shouldn't be judging Theta
86
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,394
until we go
to one of their parties.
87
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:07,604
- Mm-hmm.
88
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,897
- So maybe we should all go
tonight.
89
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,106
- No!
90
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,691
Oh, no, no, come on.
91
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:15,111
I mean, you guys have your
super fun drag queen thing.
92
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:17,071
- No, no, no, no,
let's give Theta a chance
93
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,281
to prove us wrong.
94
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:20,074
Send me that invite.
95
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,993
- I can.
96
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,786
Just FYI,
they did photoshop a boob
97
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:24,996
into the Theta logo.
98
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,873
- And we're off
to a great start.
99
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,630
♪ ♪
100
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,840
- I have the coolest fucking
plans tonight.
101
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,384
"The Catullan" editors
are throwing
102
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,929
a wine and cheese soirée.
103
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,430
- Yeah,
that doesn't sound cool.
104
00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:44,307
But, hey,
things must be going well
105
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,475
if they invited you over.
106
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,935
- Oh, no,
they didn't invite me.
107
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,478
I overheard them invite
someone else,
108
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,063
so I got all the deets
I need to crash it.
109
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,481
- Do we need to say something,
110
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:52,982
or do we just let her
do this craziness?
111
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,651
I'm still learning
your dynamic.
112
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,277
- Hey, I need facetime
with these dudes
113
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,320
however I can get it.
114
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,988
I want them to respect me,
115
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,490
and this is a hell of a lot
easier than growing a dick.
116
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,783
You know?
117
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:05,286
Hey, Hayden, sick tracksuit.
118
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,038
You get that
at the Essex bookstore?
119
00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:08,957
- Pfft, nah,
it was team issued.
120
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,291
Drip-drip, right?
121
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,377
- Team-issued, like, for free?
122
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,003
We didn't get those, did we?
- Nah.
123
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,172
The guys' team always gets
more shit than we do.
124
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,007
- Yeah, I don't know,
these were just waiting
125
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,592
for us in our lockers
after our last game.
126
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,178
- Which you lost. Badly.
127
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,390
- I mean, did we really lose
if we had fun?
128
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:27,850
- Hmm.
- And, yes, we lost 7-1.
129
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,770
- Are you kidding me?
130
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,398
- Welcome to the world of being
a female college athlete.
131
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:35,149
I try to ignore it
so I don't go insane,
132
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,276
but you should have seen me
last year when I first saw
133
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,321
how much nicer their
locker rooms are than ours.
134
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,115
- How much nicer is it?
135
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:44,367
- Exactly.
I looked just like that.
136
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:50,373
♪ ♪
137
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,874
- Hey, Canaan.
- Hey.
138
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,002
- You're kinda like
my only male friend so far,
139
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,712
can I ask--
- Nope.
140
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,381
I see where this is heading,
and I do not do dating advice.
141
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:02,635
- Oh, my God, no.
This is so not about dating.
142
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,096
But it is about a boy I like.
- Okay.
143
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:07,098
- Okay, when you're flirting
with a girl,
144
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,018
do you ever comment
on her Instagram
145
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,395
and then delete
said comment later?
146
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,896
- Wait, what?
- See, I told you.
147
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,523
You're dealing
with a sociopath.
148
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:19,110
A hot sociopath.
But honestly, most are hot.
149
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,821
- Look, Kimberly, I don't have
time for this conversation.
150
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,239
And neither do you.
151
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:24,657
These Econ problem set
is due at midnight,
152
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,826
and it's crazy hard.
Focus on that.
153
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,703
- Okay, I just can't tell
if he likes me or not.
154
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:29,912
- Hmm.
155
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,831
- Look,
if he left a nice comment,
156
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:33,416
he probably meant it.
157
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,877
Either that, or he's a fuckboy.
- So what do I do?
158
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,046
- You should do
your Econ homework.
159
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:41,049
- Look, if you want to know
if Nico's into you,
160
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,550
test it.
161
00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,302
Post a story and see
if he checks it right away.
162
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:46,179
If he does, that means
you're really high up
163
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:49,849
in his algorithm,
and algorithms, they don't lie.
164
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:52,769
- Oh, my God, you're a genius!
- I know.
165
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,270
- Okay, so what should I put
in my story?
166
00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:56,606
Like a topical TikTok dance,
or--
167
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,649
I can do
a SpongeBob impression.
168
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,068
- Okay.
169
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,987
- You should not have custody
of your phone.
170
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,784
- ♪ Hit the mall and our
fashion fits our flesh ♪
171
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,243
♪ Hit the club and I'll... ♪
172
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,454
- Hey, my for-some-reason
shirtless brother.
173
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:13,581
- Oh, I'd make up a reason
for why my shirt is off,
174
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:15,792
but, honestly, it's because
I know I look good without it.
175
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,418
What's up?
176
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,796
- I need to bring some other
girls with me tonight?
177
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,547
- Dope. Other Kappa hopefuls?
178
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:24,342
- No, they're from the, um,
the Women's Center.
179
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:26,177
- Oh. Less dope.
180
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,929
Uh.
181
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,764
Doesn't the Women's Center,
like, hate the frats
182
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,224
and what to shut us down?
- Yes.
183
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,433
But everything
they know about frats is
184
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,976
from the Kavanaugh hearings.
185
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,853
All right, so just let them in,
and they'll see
186
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,814
it's not as bad as they think.
- Leight, you don't understand.
187
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,233
Theta is already on thin ice
with the administration,
188
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,776
and one more complaint
could get us shut down.
189
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,694
- They are not going
to shut you down.
190
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,404
- Tell that to Sigma Chi.
191
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,657
They used to be down the block,
and now their building is
192
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,283
an Amazon fulfillment center.
193
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,410
Look, Leight, please.
194
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:55,164
Just do us both a favor
and convince them not to come.
195
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,169
So upon some reflection,
196
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,630
I think we should all go
to your drag thing.
197
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,257
- Uh, sorry, Leight,
a deals a deal.
198
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,591
We're going to Theta.
199
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,176
- But if you want
to support Miranda Penis,
200
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:11,097
you can Venmo her tips.
It's @CharlesSmith78.
201
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,394
- Dude,
these sombreros are awesome.
202
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:23,234
- Is anyone in our delegation
a Women Studies major?
203
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,528
- Fuck no.
- Minor?
204
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,029
- Get out of here
with that crap.
205
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,489
- No?
206
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:29,615
Shit.
207
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,368
- This is Whitney Chase,
starting forward
208
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:33,828
for the Essex
Women's soccer team,
209
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,247
and I am documenting
the disparity
210
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,374
between male and female
student athletes.
211
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:41,419
Now, I have been told
that the men's locker room is
212
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,504
significantly nicer
than the women's.
213
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,381
And, honestly, I--
214
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,885
Oh, you gotta be
fucking kidding me.
215
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,887
This is insane.
216
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,264
Wood-paneled lockers?
217
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:56,726
And next up,
the Essex fox mascot uniform
218
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,061
to cheer them on
while they dry their balls.
219
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,230
And let's see
what else they've got--
220
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,899
- What the fuck?
- Oh, shit.
221
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,776
Sorry.
222
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,403
- What the hell were
you thinking?
223
00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:09,405
- I was spotlighting injustice
so I could go public
224
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,032
with the footage
and get it fixed.
225
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:14,076
- Right, 'cause news outlets
regularly share videos
226
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,204
of floppy 18-year-old penises.
227
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,372
Do you know how much trouble
you could have gotten into?
228
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,834
You're lucky I convinced
Coach Jim to let this go.
229
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,127
- So that's your plan?
230
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,378
Just look away
and condone a system
231
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:25,922
where we get treated worse?
232
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:30,760
- Chase, I am a 54-year-old
lesbian soccer coach.
233
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,639
You don't need to tell me how
hard it is for female athletes.
234
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,974
Okay, and no,
that's not all I'm doing.
235
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,601
I'm also benching you
for two games.
236
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,270
- What! That is so unfair.
237
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,647
- You can go.
238
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:47,068
- ♪ I like it better
when you hold me ♪
239
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:48,694
♪ Don't act
like you don't know me ♪
240
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,446
- Okay, so how soon
after you posted the story
241
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:52,240
did Nico look at it?
- Two minutes.
242
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,283
- Damn, girl, my stalker
doesn't even check
243
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,534
my stories that fast.
244
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,453
And he served time.
Nico's into you.
245
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,872
- Okay, and then he invited
you to the Theta party?
246
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,123
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, yeah.
247
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,167
That's a sex invite.
Shower good.
248
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,752
- No, you're crazy.
249
00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,295
- Kimberly, there is no other
way to interpret it.
250
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,005
Go for it, seize the dick.
251
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,966
- Okay, but then I replied
with a GIF
252
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,802
of a baby running real fast
saying, "I'm coming."
253
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,387
And he replied "JK,"
254
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:17,306
and then, "Whoops, that was
meant for someone else."
255
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,724
- And that was it?
256
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,310
Hmm.
257
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,187
Maybe I should just stay in
and do my Econ.
258
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,439
I have to upload it
by midnight sharp
259
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,649
or I get a zero.
260
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,484
- Or you should go tonight,
261
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,194
let him flirt
like this in person,
262
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,488
and see if something happens.
- I agree with Jocelyn.
263
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,864
And I say that as someone
264
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,825
with extremely high
social intelligence.
265
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,493
All right, I'm gonna go crash
a cheese party
266
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:39,245
I wasn't invited to.
267
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,329
Seize the dick.
268
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,664
Seize the dick.
- Hey!
269
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,249
- Seize the dick, seize the
dick.
270
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,668
Seize the dick, seize the dick.
271
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,840
♪ ♪
272
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,175
- Bela,
what are you doing here?
273
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,012
- Uh, duh,
I'm here for the cheese thing.
274
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,596
You goof.
275
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,687
- Uh, hey, Coach Woods,
you wanted to see me?
276
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:05,855
- Take a seat.
277
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,735
- Dalton, let's go!
- Dalton?
278
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,280
- Okay, what is happening?
279
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,198
You mom has asked
for a meeting.
280
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:20,536
So thanks for making
a two-game suspension
281
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,912
a national security issue.
282
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,289
- What?
283
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,790
Coach, I swear
I didn't ask her to do this.
284
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,208
I mean, I only--
285
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,210
- Hello.
- Mom, what the hell?
286
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,837
- I'm reaching out
to your coach
287
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,881
because I would like
for her to explain
288
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,300
why my daughter called me,
all upset,
289
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:35,760
to tell me
she had been benched
290
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,678
for standing up
against discrimination.
291
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,555
- And we welcome
that opportunity.
292
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,807
But we do have rules.
293
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:45,227
- Senator, I assure you,
we love your daughter.
294
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,729
Like, all of us do. We all do.
295
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,190
Coach Woods included
even more so than I.
296
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,358
- Oh, my God.
297
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,360
- I'm sorry, who are you?
298
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,570
- Uh, Dalton, assistant coach.
299
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,948
- Coach Woods, can you
turn the screen slightly
300
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,117
to frame him out?
- Oh, yeah.
301
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,036
- Now,
as you probably can expect,
302
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:04,080
I cannot sit back
and allow my daughter
303
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,498
to be mistreated.
304
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,166
I'm not saying
I want to go to the dean
305
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,752
about a leadership change--
- Mom, stop it!
306
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,128
- Senator Chase,
307
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:14,048
I am willing to overturn
my previous decision.
308
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:17,802
But, uh, I hope you understand
why I took this so seriously.
309
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:22,431
Your daughter filmed naked boys
310
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,433
without their permission.
311
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,477
- Wait, I'm--I'm sorry, what?
312
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,604
- Well, she's lucky
the 17-year-old goalie
313
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:29,939
stayed in the sauna
314
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,857
since that would legally be
the creation
315
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,943
of child pornography.
316
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,778
- Could you angle me
towards my daughter?
317
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,321
- Oh, yeah, you bet.
318
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,323
- Nudes of a minor?
319
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,242
Jesus, Whitney,
we're not the Kennedys.
320
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,661
- Mom, I'm sorry, I just wanted
to make things right.
321
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:46,455
- You and I will talk
about this later.
322
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,165
Yeah.
323
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,669
Thanks again, Gertrude.
Appreciate your time.
324
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,921
Girl, I love that blouse.
325
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,679
- Hey, what are you guys
talking about over here?
326
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,055
How cool this guy's hair is?
327
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,307
- Hmm?
- We were discussing Franzen.
328
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,892
- Ugh, Franzen sucks.
329
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,853
My parents used to keep
this box of white Zinfandel
330
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:09,979
in their fridge.
331
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,313
One time,
I drank it all and barfed
332
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,815
in my cat's litter box.
333
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,651
Do you mean Franzia?
334
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:18,070
The boxed wine?
335
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,657
- No, no,
I was obviously joking, guys.
336
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:25,453
- Uh, but hey, I'm gonna get
that, uh, cheese platter
337
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:28,372
somebody brought
and eat something
338
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,124
off of it.
339
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:38,799
- So which person here do you
find the most insufferable?
340
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,217
I'm going with the girl
who's mentioned
341
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,637
studying abroad in Syria,
like, nine times.
342
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,181
Oh, by the way,
343
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,891
I thought that last piece
you wrote was great.
344
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,851
The one about all the people
your immigrant dad
345
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,519
keeps confusing
with Jennifer Garner?
346
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,730
- Cool, thank you so much.
I'm glad you liked it.
347
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,607
I can say it comes
from a real place.
348
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,359
My immigrant dad confuses a lot
of people with Jennifer Garner.
349
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:58,986
- Well,
I wrote some notes on it,
350
00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,405
if you're interested.
- Oh, my God.
351
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,990
That would be great.
352
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:10,039
- We tossed all the sombreros,
kimonos, and fake afros.
353
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,708
We tried to get rid
of any and all triggers.
354
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:14,543
- Yeah, yeah, I mean,
it looks good.
355
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,961
I can't imagine
the Women's Center crew
356
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,838
being offended by any of this.
357
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,758
- Leighton, hi.
May we enter?
358
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,092
Where is everybody?
359
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,844
Does the party not begin
at 8 o'clock?
360
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,888
- It's 8:05,
that's an insane time to arrive
361
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,431
for an 8 o'clock party.
362
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,558
- Uh, can I take your coat?
363
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,685
- I will keep it on
and buttoned, thank you.
364
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,146
- Great, yeah,
whatever makes you comfortable.
365
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,898
- I made you a bread.
366
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,526
- Oh, that's--wow,
it's so heavy.
367
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:42,112
Cool. Uh, please.
Let me show you around.
368
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,992
- Nico, what a lovely
craftsman home you have.
369
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,161
- ♪ For life ♪
370
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,413
♪ ♪
371
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,915
♪ Take my hand ♪
372
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,876
- So tonight is gonna be
a shitshow, isn't it?
373
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,753
- Heh, oh, yeah.
374
00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,214
Um, do you want a drink?
375
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,924
- Oh, I already started
in the driveway.
376
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,926
But yeah,
let's continue drinking.
377
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,719
Please.
378
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,889
- Ginger, is that a bodycam?
379
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:12,601
- What? No, no.
This is a normal broach.
380
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,813
- Yeah, I think if you make
a few of these cuts,
381
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:16,897
it'll be great.
382
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,274
You should totally include this
383
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:19,483
in your final writing
submission.
384
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,902
- Really?
Cool, thank you so much.
385
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,279
Should we go back out there?
386
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,613
- Hey, before we go,
I want to show you
387
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,448
this funny video I saw.
- Sure.
388
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,866
After yours, I have one too.
389
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,952
It's a lady who falls
with a milkshake.
390
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,838
- Theta-lympics are
a celebration
391
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,173
of competition and pageantry.
392
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,843
Uh, specifically,
drinking competition
393
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,803
and drinking pageantry.
- Okay.
394
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:50,139
- But note that we take every
possible precaution.
395
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,808
Drinks are poured
by licensed bartenders.
396
00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:54,143
And two brothers
have been designated
397
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,185
as sober problem-solvers.
398
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,645
- You can calm down.
399
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,147
Look, I know that you think
I'm some, like,
400
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,482
big, scary lesbian protester--
- Whoa!
401
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,859
- Coming to get you.
402
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:04,486
- I did not know
that you are a lesbian.
403
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,739
It would be rude
if I'd assumed that.
404
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,324
- Nico, less.
405
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,327
- Hey, so, I'm just here
to have a good time.
406
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:14,872
Now, would you please hold
my feet for a keg stand?
407
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,542
- Only if you hold mine
afterwards.
408
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,629
Equality.
- Oh, my God.
409
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,839
- Okay, cool.
Needs more ice.
410
00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:26,634
- Uh, actually,
I am gonna go make sure
411
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,469
that Ginger has her
gluten-free beer.
412
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,013
Check on her.
413
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,475
- But really, I'm here for me.
Not for him.
414
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,894
I don't even care if I see him.
- Okay, good.
415
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:39,021
- Yeah, tonight's a "me" night.
- Mm.
416
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,565
- But in the event
that I do see him,
417
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,525
should I mention him deleting
the Instagram comment?
418
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,402
- Hi,
what's going on over here?
419
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:46,779
Actually, I don't care.
420
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,364
I'm just trying
to avoid someone, so.
421
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,657
- Damn, okay.
422
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,033
- Hey, there she is.
- Hey.
423
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,159
- How was
the wine and cheese thing?
424
00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:53,661
- It was fine.
425
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,621
- That's it?
- Yeah, what?
426
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,414
What's wrong?
- You're acting weird.
427
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,416
- Yeah, your vibes are way off.
428
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,877
- Yeah, um, something sort of
weird actually did happen.
429
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,838
One of "The Catullan" editors
was giving me notes on a piece,
430
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,216
and then he put on a porn.
431
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,718
- What? Why did he do that?
- Were you hooking up with him?
432
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,470
- No, we were just talking,
and then he put it on.
433
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:14,264
- So like a predator does.
- No, not like a predator.
434
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,808
- It was friendly.
435
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,643
He said he just wanted
to show me a funny video.
436
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:20,270
- And the funny video was porn?
- Bela, I don't like this.
437
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,939
- Was the porn
even funny though?
438
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,399
- That's the thing,
I couldn't figure out
439
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,608
what the funny part was,
440
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:25,734
but I must have missed
something.
441
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,319
It's fine.
442
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:30,322
- Well, do you remember
what it was called?
443
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,326
- Maybe he thought it was funny
that they kept their socks on?
444
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,120
- No, I don't think so.
445
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:38,163
- Is it funny that his balls
are a different color
446
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,415
than his penis?
447
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,333
- Was he laughing
while you were watching?
448
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,710
- No,
he was just staring at it
449
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,253
and, like, breathed heavy.
450
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,088
We didn't even make eye contact
until it ended.
451
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:49,299
- Yeah, hey, final decision.
This guy is weird as fuck.
452
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,135
- Yeah, I agree.
You should avoid him.
453
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,970
- Okay, if this was Eric,
that would be one thing,
454
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,389
but this is Ryan.
He's the nice one.
455
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:56,598
- Hey!
456
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,100
No watching porn tonight!
457
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,352
We are on our best behavior.
458
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,650
- Okay, all right,
this is gonna be okay.
459
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,026
But listen,
I'm gonna need you to sweep
460
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,319
like you've never swept before.
461
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,696
- Yo,
I am the king of sweeping.
462
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,115
Hit it.
- Go. Okay, go! Go, sweep!
463
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,783
Sweep! Oh!
464
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,660
- What!
- Fuck yes! Yes.
465
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,623
- Looks like Nico's got himself
a new Barbie doll.
466
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,125
- Her?
467
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,294
Girl, what the hell did
your Barbie dolls look like?
468
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,629
- Great job, Nico!
- Hey!
469
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,506
- Hey!
- Thanks, man.
470
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,136
- Did he just call you "man"?
471
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:37,055
- Maybe he said "ma'am."
- That's not better.
472
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,520
- Hey!
- Hey! Thank you!
473
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:44,646
- All right,
I'm gonna get you later.
474
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,814
- All right, sounds good.
475
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:46,857
- Oh.
- Oof.
476
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,484
- What the hell, I just--
477
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,319
- Oh.
- Of course it's you.
478
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,154
- Oh, take it easy.
What are you gonna do?
479
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,323
Grab some more pics of my dick
for your personal collection?
480
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:55,991
- That's not what I was doing.
- Okay.
481
00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:58,660
- Look, do you think it's fair
that a men's soccer team
482
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,496
with a losing record gets
tons of swag
483
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,499
while a women's team with
a winning record gets nothing?
484
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,584
- Okay,
I think that we get shit
485
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,753
because people actually come
to our games.
486
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,421
And people prefer men's sports
487
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,173
because we're better
natural athletes.
488
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:14,384
We're stronger, we're faster,
and we have bigger muscles.
489
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,136
Was that too real
of an answer for you?
490
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,263
- You really think
you're faster than me?
491
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,681
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
492
00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:22,893
- Prove it.
493
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:25,854
♪ ♪
494
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,944
- Um, why are there so many
sombreros in that dumpster?
495
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:34,404
- I think when they heard
we were coming,
496
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,323
they ditched some of the more
problematic elements
497
00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:37,908
of this party,
and by problematic,
498
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,953
I do mean deeply,
deeply racist.
499
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,538
- We?
- Huh?
500
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,706
- You just said, "When
they heard we were coming."
501
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,750
What, are--are you
one of us now?
502
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,794
- Oh, a Women's Center person?
503
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,880
Um, are you insane?
I would sooner do improv.
504
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,550
- Oh, God, we're that bad?
505
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,385
- Yeah, you're right,
I crossed a line.
506
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:59,263
Ooh.
507
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:03,141
oh, oh, yeah...
508
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,103
- Dude, can you please not take
a piss right next to us?
509
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:09,565
I mean, I came here to drink,
not see the side of your dick.
510
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,859
- Whatever.
- Asshole.
511
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,444
- If you don't like it,
leave, you dyke.
512
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,909
- What the fuck
did you just call me?
513
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,744
- Fuck off.
514
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,538
- Take that, motherfucker.
515
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,623
Yes, this dyke is kicking
your fucking ass!
516
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,877
- Alicia! Alicia! Alicia, stop!
- Get off of me.
517
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,044
- What the hell?
518
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,296
- Who's side are you on,
anyway?
519
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,881
- Did you see that?
520
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,847
- Wait, Alicia. Wait up.
521
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,223
Alicia. Alicia, stop.
522
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,725
- Why?
523
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,476
So that you can get mad
at me for defending myself
524
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,145
against that fucking dick?
525
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:49,605
- No, I just didn't want
to see you get hurt.
526
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,023
Okay,
that guy could have killed you.
527
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,316
I know you think you're tough,
528
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:53,984
but you are fucking
5 feet tall.
529
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,986
- I am 5'2"!
530
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:59,323
- Okay, I am so, so sorry that
that happened.
531
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,867
Okay, and I'm so sorry
that I brought you here.
532
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,077
I--I swear to God,
I've never seen these guys
533
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,289
do anything like that before.
- Yeah, of course you haven't.
534
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:09,499
Because they don't treat you
like they treat me.
535
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,169
I'm just this queer girl
that they can't fuck.
536
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:15,797
But you, you're this pretty,
blonde, straight girl
537
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,383
who they actually think is
worthy of respect.
538
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,761
- That--that's not true.
- Yes, it is.
539
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:21,887
- No.
540
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:26,350
No--no, I mean, what--
541
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,226
what you said about me.
542
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,561
You're wrong.
543
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:33,357
- What part am I wrong about?
544
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:45,118
♪ ♪
545
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:50,207
- Whoa, I was,
like, really wrong about you.
546
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,875
- Shut up.
547
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:58,340
♪ ♪
548
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:01,134
Let's go, let's go.
549
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:02,511
All right, all right.
550
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,389
First one to a mile
permanently proves
551
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,182
which gender is superior.
552
00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:10,644
Three, two, one, go!
553
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,941
- See me all day, baby.
- I got you.
554
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,442
- Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
555
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:27,661
- Hey, Kimberly, wait up.
556
00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:29,871
Hey.
- Hey.
557
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,123
- I feel terrible.
558
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:32,499
Like, I invited you,
I got busy,
559
00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:34,334
and I barely saw you.
560
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,128
- Oh, I didn't even notice.
561
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,463
I was just hanging out
with so many friends.
562
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,590
- Right.
563
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:43,301
- But I have to get going.
Homework.
564
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:44,428
- Oh.
565
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,598
Do you want me to walk you?
566
00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:50,308
- Yeah, you can do that.
567
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,394
Sure.
568
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:59,067
- Give it up for feminism!
- Yeah!
569
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,028
- I'm close!
- You're gonna win!
570
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:02,654
- No, no, no, no, no!
571
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:04,823
- Yeah! That's right!
572
00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:06,366
Yeah, that's right!
573
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,952
I guess men are faster
than women after all.
574
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,579
Whoa!
575
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:12,622
Shit.
576
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:20,797
- Nevertheless, she persisted!
577
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,680
♪ ♪
578
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:31,892
- So was the Theta-lympics
everything you hoped for?
579
00:22:31,975 --> 00:22:33,185
- Yeah.
580
00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:34,644
I mean, no one spilled
a beer on me,
581
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,647
so it was easily my favorite
Theta party yet.
582
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,278
Hey,
583
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:46,990
did you leave a comment on my
Instagram and then delete it?
584
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:49,910
- Yes.
585
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:54,456
I didn't want anyone reading it
and getting the wrong idea.
586
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,335
- The wrong idea like what?
587
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,712
You're my sister's roommate,
and I'm tutoring you,
588
00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:03,090
and I shouldn't be saying
you look, uh...
589
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,468
You know.
590
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:12,599
♪ ♪
591
00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:14,601
I should get back.
592
00:23:14,684 --> 00:23:16,895
- Thanks for walking me home.
593
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,313
- No problem.
594
00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:20,232
- ♪ Disappear ♪
595
00:23:20,315 --> 00:23:23,819
♪ ♪
596
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:26,571
♪ There's all my tears ♪
597
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:28,156
- Oh, shit.
598
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:34,287
- ♪ I've cried them all out ♪
599
00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:41,128
♪ ♪
600
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:45,048
Fuck.
601
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,802
- Fuck.
602
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:58,270
- ♪ Never let go
of the grave ♪
603
00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:00,856
♪ ♪
604
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:06,444
♪ Never even once said ♪
605
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,864
♪ Explain ourselves ♪
606
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:11,867
- Are you seriously leaving
right now?
607
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,035
- No, it's just late.
That's all.
608
00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:18,331
- Look, I get it.
609
00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:20,792
I always used to rush away
after sex too.
610
00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:24,546
Instead, you know, maybe you
could just come sit down.
611
00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:27,048
We could order some Postmates,
612
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,342
maybe watch some
"Indian Matchmaker."
613
00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:35,599
- Okay.
614
00:24:36,766 --> 00:24:39,978
Okay, I will stay
for one to six episodes.
615
00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:41,479
- Okay.
616
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:43,899
- ♪ Let it all go ♪
617
00:24:43,982 --> 00:24:46,818
- Um, could I borrow
your Netflix login?
618
00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:51,740
- Are you serious?
Did you get hurt?
619
00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:54,159
- I'm fine.
You should see the treadmill.
620
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:56,286
My chin definitely dented it.
621
00:24:58,496 --> 00:24:59,915
- Whit, we need to talk.
622
00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:03,835
We can't do this anymore.
623
00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:07,631
- Are you breaking up with me?
624
00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:09,424
- It's my fault.
625
00:25:09,507 --> 00:25:11,134
This whole thing was wrong.
626
00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,929
And it was inappropriate for
me to ever go along with it.
627
00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:15,889
- "Go along with it"?
628
00:25:15,972 --> 00:25:18,099
- Look, we just need to end it.
629
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,768
- I don't--I don't understand.
630
00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,313
Wait, is this because
of the--the call with my mom?
631
00:25:23,396 --> 00:25:25,190
- Whit, if she ever found out
we're together,
632
00:25:25,273 --> 00:25:26,441
I'd be done. You know it.
633
00:25:26,524 --> 00:25:28,276
She would have me so cancelled.
634
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,946
It would be this big story, and
no school would ever hire me.
635
00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:32,405
- Wait, so--so what now?
636
00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:34,574
We just go on pretending
everything's normal,
637
00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:36,451
and you go home
to your fucking wife
638
00:25:36,534 --> 00:25:38,578
and hope she forgives you
and takes you back?
639
00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:45,335
- I never actually told her.
640
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,299
- You shouldn't
tell anyone, either.
641
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,426
We both have a lot to lose.
642
00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:06,856
- What the fuck?
643
00:26:13,154 --> 00:26:16,491
- ♪ It's oh, oh, oh ♪
644
00:26:16,574 --> 00:26:17,742
♪ ♪
645
00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:21,037
♪ It's oh, oh, oh ♪
646
00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:22,414
♪ ♪
647
00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:25,542
♪ It's stopped by a look ♪
648
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:30,505
♪ And it doesn't take much
to be misunderstood ♪
649
00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:32,007
♪ ♪
650
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:35,260
♪ Freed by a sound ♪
651
00:26:35,343 --> 00:26:40,557
♪ Falling up the water
of the roll of the rocks ♪
652
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,394
♪ It's not that I don't mind ♪
653
00:26:44,477 --> 00:26:49,899
♪ It's just I need
a little time ♪
654
00:26:49,983 --> 00:26:53,653
♪ It's not that I don't mind ♪
655
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:59,200
♪ It's just I need
a little time ♪
656
00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:01,411
♪ And stop for a minute ♪
657
00:27:01,494 --> 00:27:03,747
♪ I don't care who's in it ♪
658
00:27:03,830 --> 00:27:06,041
♪ Your head chose ♪
659
00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:08,209
♪ And your heart knows ♪
660
00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:12,047
♪ There's a lot of leaves
in the sky ♪
661
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:15,133
♪ Believe in your own shine ♪
662
00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:19,387
♪ Should say so, oh, oh, oh ♪
663
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,348
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
664
00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:24,184
♪ ♪
665
00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,770
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
666
00:27:26,853 --> 00:27:28,855
♪ It's ♪
667
00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:30,732
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
668
00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:32,734
♪ ♪
669
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:34,903
- Go to bed.
48898
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