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1
00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:33,993
[WOMAN MOANING AND SCREAMING]
2
00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:40,625
[BABY CRYING]
3
00:00:52,637 --> 00:00:54,639
[MAN SCREAMING]
4
00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:11,364
[BABY GRUNTING]
5
00:01:15,285 --> 00:01:17,287
[CAT SCREECHING]
6
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:20,206
[BABY GROWLING]
7
00:01:42,562 --> 00:01:44,397
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
8
00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:29,567
[BABY CRYING]
9
00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:40,716
Merry Christmas.
10
00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:45,596
PAPERBOY: Penguin sighting!
Check it out! Man or myth?
11
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:48,808
What is he? Today's edition.
Another Penguin sighting.
12
00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:51,644
Another Penguin sighting! Check it out!
13
00:05:51,811 --> 00:05:56,566
Grotesque penguin-man living in Gotham
sewers. Read all about the latest sighting.
14
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,115
ICE PRINCESS:
Could I have your attention, Gotham City?
15
00:06:04,282 --> 00:06:07,410
It is time for tonight's
lighting of the tree.
16
00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:09,954
[CROWD CHEERING]
17
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,291
How about that?
18
00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:17,962
["WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
19
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:33,144
PAPERBOY:
Part man, part penguin. All horrifying!
20
00:06:33,311 --> 00:06:36,314
Find out for only 50 cents. Come on!
21
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,651
Read about the possible terror
beneath our feet. Check it out, people!
22
00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:43,070
Read about it! Today's issue.
23
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,281
Read about the latest sighting
of the penguin creature.
24
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,199
Missing link between man and bird.
25
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,659
My dear boy...
26
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:51,579
sometimes it's a diversion
to read such rubbish.
27
00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:54,040
Most of the time, it's a waste of time.
28
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:58,377
Whatever. Today's issue, the Penguin.
Check him out. Man or myth?
29
00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:01,464
The Globe. Right here. Twenty-five cents.
30
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:27,281
MAYOR:
Well, here's hoping.
31
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,496
Maybe with a little luck,
Gotham will have its
32
00:07:29,521 --> 00:07:31,393
first merry Christmas
in a good long while.
33
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:35,873
I feel almost vulgar in this yuletide context
mentioning the new power plant.
34
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,293
But if we're gonna break ground,
when we gotta break ground...
35
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:44,173
I'll need permits, variances, tax incentives.
That sort of pesky nonsense.
36
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,385
Power plant?
37
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,971
Max, all our studies show us
we've got enough power...
38
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,098
to get us into the middle
of the next century.
39
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,517
Your analysts are talking growth
at 1 percent per annum.
40
00:07:54,684 --> 00:07:56,811
That's not growth. That's a mild swelling.
41
00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:01,023
Imagine a Gotham City...
42
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:05,903
of the future,
lit up like a blanket of stars...
43
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:08,239
but blinking on and off...
44
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,866
embarrassingly low on juice.
45
00:08:11,242 --> 00:08:12,451
Frankly...
46
00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:15,162
I cringe, Mr. Mayor.
47
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:19,250
Sorry, any plans you've got will have
to go to the usual committees...
48
00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:21,293
through the usual channels.
49
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,337
I have a suggestion.
50
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:32,263
Well...
51
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:36,225
actually, really, just more like a question.
52
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,939
I'm afraid
we haven't properly housebroken Miss Kyle.
53
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,608
In the plus column, though...
54
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,360
she makes a hell of a cup of coffee.
55
00:08:54,744 --> 00:08:55,786
Dad.
56
00:08:57,163 --> 00:09:00,708
Mr. Mayor. It's time to go down
and bring joy to the masses.
57
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,179
"Actually, more of a question."
58
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,306
You stupid corn dog.
59
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,434
Oh, God. Corn dog.
60
00:09:28,486 --> 00:09:30,488
[CROWD CHEERING]
61
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,490
All right. Give us some room.
62
00:09:42,917 --> 00:09:44,919
Wait, let him through, please.
63
00:09:45,086 --> 00:09:49,048
I have enough signatures from Shreck
employees alone to warrant a recall.
64
00:09:49,215 --> 00:09:51,509
That's not a threat, just simple numbers.
65
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,677
Maybe. But you don't have an issue, Max.
66
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:55,721
And you sure as hell don't have a candidate.
67
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:57,139
WOMAN:
Hello, Mr. Shreck!
68
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,433
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
69
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,521
From those of us at City Hall
to each and every one of you...
70
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:04,855
happy holidays.
71
00:10:05,815 --> 00:10:08,734
We have with us tonight
a man who really needs no introduction.
72
00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:10,486
He's given so much to our city.
73
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:15,324
Will you welcome, please,
Gotham's own Santa Claus: Max Shreck.
74
00:10:36,387 --> 00:10:39,223
Pick up those contracts from Personnel and...
75
00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:41,809
pick up the dry cleaning, paper towels....
76
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:45,771
Oh, darn.
77
00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:53,112
Forgot my speech.
78
00:10:53,571 --> 00:10:56,490
Remind me to take it out on what's-her-name.
79
00:11:00,619 --> 00:11:03,164
Santa Claus? Afraid not.
80
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:07,501
I'm just a poor schmo who got lucky.
81
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:12,256
And sue me if I want to give some back.
82
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:20,431
I only wish I could hand out more
than just expensive baubles.
83
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:24,393
I wish I could hand out world peace...
84
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,646
and unconditional love...
85
00:11:29,023 --> 00:11:30,941
wrapped in a big bow.
86
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:36,989
PENGUIN:
Oh, but you can. Oh, but you will.
87
00:11:43,621 --> 00:11:44,914
Merry Christmas.
88
00:11:58,636 --> 00:12:01,639
- Great idea.
- Not mine.
89
00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:20,324
[WOMAN SCREAMS
AND MACHINE-GUN FIRING]
90
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,163
MAN:
Let's go!
91
00:12:49,812 --> 00:12:51,814
[SIREN WAILING]
92
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:55,734
What're you waiting for? The signal!
93
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:31,395
We want the big guy!
The guy who runs the show!
94
00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:36,483
- What do you want?
- Not you!
95
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:40,821
- Shreck!
- You'll have to go through me.
96
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:41,905
CLOWNS:
Ooh.
97
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,408
- Chip.
- Dad, go! Save yourself!
98
00:13:44,742 --> 00:13:45,826
Dad, go!
99
00:14:21,487 --> 00:14:23,489
[SCREAMING]
100
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,347
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
101
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,856
[SELINA SCREAMS,
THEN CLOWN CHUCKLES]
102
00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:41,650
Shut up!
103
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,244
You take one step closer,
Mr. Man-bat, and....
104
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,042
Ha-ha-ha. You missed.
105
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:11,763
Wow.
106
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,016
The Batman.
107
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:17,352
Or is it just Batman?
108
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:22,483
Uh, your choice, of course.
109
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:28,113
Well, that was very brief.
110
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,741
Just like all the men in my life.
111
00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:32,826
I know, what men?
112
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,078
Well....
113
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,082
Then again, there's you.
But you need therapy.
114
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,420
[SIREN WAILING]
115
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:04,858
Thanks for saving the day, Batman.
I'm afraid the Circus Gang is back.
116
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,193
We'll see.
117
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:09,738
They almost made off with our mover
and shaker, Max Shreck, but....
118
00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,741
Where is that insufferable son of a bitch?
119
00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:24,896
Hi.
120
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:33,905
I believe the word you're looking for is....
121
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,782
[SCREAMS]
122
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,371
[CLOWN CHUCKLING]
123
00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:47,586
Actually, this is all just a bad dream.
124
00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,671
You're at home in bed...
125
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,883
heavily sedated, resting comfortably...
126
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:58,055
dying from the carcinogens
you've personally spewed...
127
00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,807
in a lifetime of profiteering.
128
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:04,227
Tragic irony or poetic justice?
129
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,146
You tell me.
130
00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:08,857
My God, it's true.
131
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,526
Penguin Man of the sewer.
132
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,450
Odd as it may seem, Max...
133
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:21,745
you and I have something in common.
134
00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:26,375
We're both perceived as monsters.
135
00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,297
But somehow...
136
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:36,051
you're a well-respected monster...
137
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:40,263
and I am, to date, not!
138
00:19:41,098 --> 00:19:44,768
Frankly, I feel that's a bum rap.
I'm a businessman.
139
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:46,311
Tough, yes.
140
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:50,065
Shrewd, okay.
But that does not make me a monster.
141
00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:54,945
Don't embarrass yourself, Max!
I know all about you.
142
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:58,448
What you hide, I discover.
143
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,742
What you put in your toilet...
144
00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:03,829
I place on my mantle. Get the picture?
145
00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:06,748
What, is that supposed to hypnotize me?
146
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:09,751
No, just give you a splitting headache.
147
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:11,795
It's not working.
148
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:16,591
You big baby! Just blanks.
149
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:20,011
Would I go through all this trouble tonight
just to kill you?
150
00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:21,638
No, Max.
151
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:24,015
I have an entirely other purpose.
152
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:27,102
I'm ready, Max.
153
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:29,980
I've been down here too long.
154
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:33,108
It's time for me to ascend...
155
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,235
to re-emerge...
156
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,113
with your help...
157
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,990
your know-how...
158
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:41,700
your savvy.
159
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:45,036
I wasn't born in the sewer, you know.
160
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:47,956
I come from....
161
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:49,583
Like you.
162
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:53,044
And, like you, I want some respect!
163
00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:56,256
A recognition of my basic humanity.
164
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,049
But most of all...
165
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:03,638
I want to find out who I am
by finding my parents...
166
00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:06,141
learning my human name.
167
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:10,854
Simple stuff that the good people
of Gotham take for granted!
168
00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:13,648
And...
169
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:17,152
exactly why am I gonna help you?
170
00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:19,571
Well....
171
00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:25,660
Let's start.
172
00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:36,505
Ooh. What have we here? Let's see.
173
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:43,553
A batch of toxic waste...
174
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,598
from your clean textile plant.
175
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:50,352
There's a whole lagoon
of this crud in the back.
176
00:21:50,519 --> 00:21:52,312
That could have come from anywhere.
177
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:57,609
What about the documents that prove
you own half the firetraps in Gotham City?
178
00:21:57,776 --> 00:21:59,611
If there were such documents...
179
00:22:00,237 --> 00:22:01,613
that's not an admission.
180
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,824
I would have seen to it they were shredded.
181
00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:06,409
Good idea.
182
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:12,541
A lot of tape and a little patience
make all the difference.
183
00:22:14,543 --> 00:22:15,877
By the way...
184
00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:18,672
how's Fred Atkins, your old partner?
185
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:20,340
Fred?
186
00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:23,009
Fred's actually....
187
00:22:23,718 --> 00:22:26,680
I believe he's on extended vacation.
He's good.
188
00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:29,266
[CHUCKLING]
189
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:31,560
Good.
190
00:22:33,562 --> 00:22:37,566
Hiya, Max. Remember me? I'm Fred's hand!
191
00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:40,443
You want to greet any other body parts?
192
00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:42,279
Remember, Max...
193
00:22:42,445 --> 00:22:45,073
you flush it, I flaunt it.
194
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:50,078
You know what, Mr. Penguin, sir?
195
00:22:54,249 --> 00:22:55,792
I think perhaps...
196
00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:59,296
I could help orchestrate
a little welcome-home scenario for you.
197
00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:03,592
Once we're both back home,
perhaps we can help each other out.
198
00:23:04,134 --> 00:23:06,595
You won't regret this, Mr. Shreck.
199
00:23:14,603 --> 00:23:16,396
Honey, I'm home!
200
00:23:18,523 --> 00:23:20,692
I forgot. I'm not married.
201
00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:31,161
[CAT MEWING]
202
00:23:31,328 --> 00:23:32,495
Miss Kitty.
203
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:37,792
Back from more sexual escapades
you refuse to share?
204
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:41,713
Not that I'd ever pry.
205
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,050
Drink your dinner.
206
00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:52,933
What?
207
00:23:54,517 --> 00:23:56,728
How can anyone be so pathetic?
208
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,524
Yes, to you I seem pathetic.
But I'm a working girl.
209
00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:05,570
Gotta pay the rent. Maybe if you were
chipping in instead of stepping out.
210
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,700
WOMAN 1 [ON RECORDING]: Selina, dear,
it's your mother. Just calling to say hello.
211
00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:11,993
Yeah, right, but....
212
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,747
But I'm disappointed
you're not coming home for Christmas.
213
00:24:15,914 --> 00:24:19,417
I want to discuss just why you insist
on languishing in Gotham City...
214
00:24:19,584 --> 00:24:21,503
as some lowly secretary.
215
00:24:21,670 --> 00:24:23,088
Lowly assistant.
216
00:24:23,254 --> 00:24:24,381
[MACHINE BEEPS]
217
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:28,134
MAN [ON RECORDING]: Selina,
about that Christmas getaway we planned...
218
00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:34,432
I'll be going alone. Dr. Shaw says I need
to be my own person, not an appendage.
219
00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:37,644
[MACHINE BEEPS]
220
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,230
Some appendage!
221
00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:49,406
The party never stops
on Selina Kyle's answering machine.
222
00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:54,577
Guess I should've let him win
that last racquetball game.
223
00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:57,414
WOMAN 2:
Hello, Selina Kyle.
224
00:24:57,914 --> 00:25:01,292
We're calling to tell you
about exciting new Gotham Lady perfume.
225
00:25:01,459 --> 00:25:05,755
It makes women feel like women
and the men have no complaints, either.
226
00:25:06,631 --> 00:25:07,757
[MACHINE BEEPS]
227
00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:09,300
SELINA:
Hey, Selina.
228
00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:11,553
This is yourself calling to remind you,
honey...
229
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,471
that you have to come
all the way back to the office...
230
00:25:13,638 --> 00:25:14,931
You stupid corn dog!
231
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:17,058
...unless you remembered
to bring home the Bruce Wayne file.
232
00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:18,601
Because the meeting's on Wednesday.
233
00:25:37,787 --> 00:25:38,955
Working late?
234
00:25:39,122 --> 00:25:40,248
Um....
235
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:45,795
I'm just boning up
for your Bruce Wayne meeting in the morning.
236
00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:50,050
I pulled all of the files
on the proposed power plant...
237
00:25:52,302 --> 00:25:54,637
and Mr. Wayne's hope-for investment.
238
00:25:54,804 --> 00:25:57,640
And I even opened the protected files and--
239
00:25:57,807 --> 00:25:59,184
How industrious.
240
00:26:00,935 --> 00:26:02,812
How did you open protected files...
241
00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:05,315
may I ask?
242
00:26:07,275 --> 00:26:09,277
Um, well....
243
00:26:10,945 --> 00:26:15,325
I figured your password was "Heraldo,"
your chihuahua, and it was.
244
00:26:22,832 --> 00:26:28,463
Um, this is all very interesting,
though a bit on the technical side.
245
00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:33,343
I mean, about how the power plant is
a power plant in name only...
246
00:26:33,510 --> 00:26:36,805
since, in fact, it's gonna be a big, giant...
247
00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:39,516
capacitor.
248
00:26:41,142 --> 00:26:45,522
And that, instead of generating power,
it'll sort of be sucking power from...
249
00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:50,485
um, Gotham City and storing it...
250
00:26:51,986 --> 00:26:53,113
stockpiling it.
251
00:26:53,905 --> 00:26:57,283
Which is a very novel approach, I'd say.
252
00:26:59,828 --> 00:27:01,121
And who would you say this to?
253
00:27:02,705 --> 00:27:03,957
Um....
254
00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:06,000
Nobody.
255
00:27:12,340 --> 00:27:15,343
What did curiosity do to the cat?
256
00:27:17,053 --> 00:27:18,930
I'm no cat.
257
00:27:19,389 --> 00:27:21,015
I'm just an assistant.
258
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:22,809
A secretary.
259
00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:25,019
And a very good one.
260
00:27:26,104 --> 00:27:27,355
Too good?
261
00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:31,568
Listen, it's our secret. Honest.
262
00:27:32,068 --> 00:27:35,029
How can you be so mean
to someone so meaningless?
263
00:27:35,196 --> 00:27:36,531
This power plant...
264
00:27:37,198 --> 00:27:39,909
is my legacy. It's what I leave behind...
265
00:27:40,076 --> 00:27:41,244
for Chip.
266
00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:43,830
Nothing must prevent that.
267
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:46,875
Okay.
268
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:51,588
Go ahead. Intimidate me,
bully me, if it makes you feel big.
269
00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:53,631
I mean, it's not like you can just kill me!
270
00:27:54,257 --> 00:27:56,593
Actually, it's a lot like that.
271
00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:07,520
Huh?
272
00:28:08,104 --> 00:28:09,689
[CHUCKLING]
273
00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:10,982
Huh?
274
00:28:11,149 --> 00:28:12,775
[BOTH LAUGHING]
275
00:28:14,402 --> 00:28:17,363
You know, for a second there,
you really frightened me.
276
00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:20,200
[SCREAMING]
277
00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:29,083
Really?
278
00:28:35,465 --> 00:28:37,467
[CATS MEOWING]
279
00:29:44,701 --> 00:29:46,160
Honey, I'm home.
280
00:29:49,372 --> 00:29:51,499
I forgot. I'm not married.
281
00:30:10,101 --> 00:30:11,352
[CAT MEOWING]
282
00:30:27,410 --> 00:30:30,288
WOMAN 1:
Selina, this is your mother. Call me.
283
00:30:30,455 --> 00:30:31,581
[MACHINE BEEPS]
284
00:30:31,748 --> 00:30:34,834
Selina, this is your mother.
Why haven't you called me back?
285
00:30:35,001 --> 00:30:36,044
[MACHINE BEEPS]
286
00:30:36,210 --> 00:30:38,046
WOMAN 2:
Hello, Selina Kyle.
287
00:30:38,588 --> 00:30:41,966
We're just calling to make sure
you've tried Gotham Lady perfume.
288
00:30:42,133 --> 00:30:46,429
One whiff of this at the office and
your boss will ask you to stay after work...
289
00:30:46,596 --> 00:30:49,265
for a candlelight staff meeting for two.
290
00:30:49,432 --> 00:30:52,769
Gotham Lady perfume.
Exclusively at Shreck's department store.
291
00:30:52,935 --> 00:30:54,604
[SCREAMS]
292
00:33:37,934 --> 00:33:41,562
I don't know about you,
Miss Kitty, but I feel...
293
00:33:41,938 --> 00:33:43,940
so much yummier.
294
00:34:02,333 --> 00:34:04,043
Well, ladies and gentlemen...
295
00:34:05,795 --> 00:34:07,630
I stand before you once again...
296
00:34:07,797 --> 00:34:11,801
to denounce the urban chaos we
seem to have to live with in our great city.
297
00:34:11,968 --> 00:34:13,386
It's got to stop.
298
00:34:13,553 --> 00:34:17,139
And it's going to stop.
Our community is coming apart...
299
00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:20,101
in a season when it should
be coming together.
300
00:34:20,268 --> 00:34:23,646
I don't care what the cynics may say.
This is the Christmas season.
301
00:34:23,813 --> 00:34:25,565
It should be a time of healing.
302
00:34:25,731 --> 00:34:28,276
And I tell you that,
not only as an official...
303
00:34:29,026 --> 00:34:30,778
but as a husband and a father.
304
00:34:31,779 --> 00:34:34,240
Last night's violence will not happen again.
305
00:34:37,493 --> 00:34:40,496
I'm not really one for speeches,
so I'll just say, "Thanks."
306
00:34:41,038 --> 00:34:43,332
[BABY CRYING AND CROWD GASPING]
307
00:34:49,547 --> 00:34:51,549
CLOWN:
No! It's the hideous Penguin Man.
308
00:34:51,716 --> 00:34:54,552
Here, take the baby.
Just don't hurt me, please.
309
00:34:58,681 --> 00:35:00,683
[PENGUIN COOING]
310
00:35:41,390 --> 00:35:43,392
[PENGUIN GRUNTING]
311
00:35:47,813 --> 00:35:51,817
ANCHORMAN: This was the remarkable scene
only minutes ago in Gotham Plaza.
312
00:35:51,984 --> 00:35:55,071
The mysterious Penguin saving the life
of the mayor's baby and...
313
00:35:55,237 --> 00:35:59,575
- announcing his presence to the world.
PENGUIN: All I want in return...
314
00:36:00,409 --> 00:36:04,413
is a chance to find my mom and dad.
315
00:36:06,207 --> 00:36:09,210
A chance to find out who they are...
316
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,755
and thusly, who I am.
317
00:36:13,964 --> 00:36:16,967
And then, with my parents...
318
00:36:17,885 --> 00:36:20,554
try to understand why.
319
00:36:21,597 --> 00:36:25,559
Why they did what I guess
they felt they had to do...
320
00:36:27,269 --> 00:36:30,981
to a child who was born...
321
00:36:34,151 --> 00:36:35,653
a little different.
322
00:36:37,988 --> 00:36:41,867
A child who spent his first Christmas...
323
00:36:43,119 --> 00:36:44,954
and many since...
324
00:36:46,497 --> 00:36:47,832
in a sewer.
325
00:36:47,998 --> 00:36:50,501
Mr. Wayne? Is something wrong?
326
00:36:50,793 --> 00:36:51,877
No.
327
00:36:53,879 --> 00:36:55,172
His parents.
328
00:36:55,339 --> 00:36:57,508
ANCHORMAN: Again, this scene,
direct from Gotham Plaza...
329
00:36:57,675 --> 00:36:58,926
where we have just witnessed....
330
00:36:59,093 --> 00:37:00,886
I hope he finds them.
331
00:37:01,679 --> 00:37:05,725
Here he is, standing alongside
Gotham's leading citizen, Max Shreck.
332
00:37:05,891 --> 00:37:08,561
REPORTER: How about a statement?
People want to know.
333
00:37:19,488 --> 00:37:22,450
POLICEMAN: Penguin's not to be disturbed.
REPORTER: This is a public place.
334
00:37:22,616 --> 00:37:24,368
- Take a walk. Move!
- You're violating the First Amendment.
335
00:37:24,535 --> 00:37:26,495
- Breaching the freedom of the press!
- Wait a minute.
336
00:37:28,205 --> 00:37:31,667
What about the freedom
to rediscover your roots...
337
00:37:32,334 --> 00:37:33,836
with dignity and privacy?
338
00:37:34,003 --> 00:37:36,672
What's the deal, Mr. Shreck?
Is the Penguin a personal friend?
339
00:37:36,839 --> 00:37:40,509
Yes, he's a personal friend of
this whole city, so have a heart.
340
00:37:40,676 --> 00:37:43,471
Give the Constitution a rest, okay?
It's Christmas.
341
00:38:10,289 --> 00:38:12,291
[BATS SQUEAKING]
342
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,806
BRUCE: "Red Triangle Circus put on
a swell show with fierce lions.
343
00:38:31,101 --> 00:38:33,395
"Circus return for two-week....
344
00:38:33,562 --> 00:38:34,939
"Kids will love...."
345
00:38:35,523 --> 00:38:36,607
Thanks.
346
00:38:41,237 --> 00:38:43,364
- It's cold!
- It's vichyssoise, sir.
347
00:38:44,865 --> 00:38:46,408
It's supposed to be cold.
348
00:38:49,203 --> 00:38:52,331
"Circus is back with a freak show.
May not be suitable for kids.
349
00:38:52,498 --> 00:38:54,166
"Featuring a poodle lady...
350
00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:56,210
"the world's fattest man...
351
00:38:57,002 --> 00:38:59,213
"and aquatic bird-boy."
352
00:39:00,256 --> 00:39:02,842
Why are you now determined to prove...
353
00:39:03,008 --> 00:39:05,553
that this Penguin is not what he seems?
354
00:39:06,387 --> 00:39:09,473
Must you be
the only lonely man-beast in town?
355
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,809
"The circus folded its tents yesterday...
356
00:39:11,976 --> 00:39:15,271
"perhaps forever, after numerous reports
of missing children in several towns.
357
00:39:15,437 --> 00:39:18,023
"Police have closed down
the Red Triangle's fairgrounds.
358
00:39:18,190 --> 00:39:21,777
"However, at least
one freak-show performer vanished before...
359
00:39:22,611 --> 00:39:24,280
"he could be questioned."
360
00:39:26,574 --> 00:39:28,158
I suppose you feel better now, sir.
361
00:39:31,161 --> 00:39:32,329
No.
362
00:39:33,622 --> 00:39:35,416
Actually, I feel worse.
363
00:39:54,226 --> 00:39:55,686
ALFRED:
Why are you still out?
364
00:39:55,853 --> 00:40:00,149
Are you concerned about
that strange, heroic Penguin person?
365
00:40:01,317 --> 00:40:03,235
I think he knows who his parents are.
366
00:40:05,654 --> 00:40:06,906
There's something else.
367
00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:01,270
WOMAN:
Penguin!
368
00:42:01,437 --> 00:42:03,439
REPORTER:
Can we get a statement from you?
369
00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:04,815
So, Mr. Penguin--
370
00:42:04,982 --> 00:42:07,276
A penguin is a bird that cannot fly.
371
00:42:09,319 --> 00:42:10,654
I am a man.
372
00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:13,240
I have a name.
373
00:42:17,327 --> 00:42:19,705
Oswald Cobblepot!
374
00:42:21,123 --> 00:42:24,168
Mr. Cobblepot, you'll never get a chance
to settle up with them?
375
00:42:27,296 --> 00:42:28,338
True.
376
00:42:29,590 --> 00:42:31,592
I was their number one son...
377
00:42:32,259 --> 00:42:34,470
and they treated me like number two.
378
00:42:35,637 --> 00:42:38,640
But it's human nature to fear...
379
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:40,976
the unusual.
380
00:42:41,977 --> 00:42:45,105
Perhaps when I held...
381
00:42:45,481 --> 00:42:47,191
my Tiffany baby rattle...
382
00:42:48,484 --> 00:42:50,235
with a shiny flipper...
383
00:42:50,986 --> 00:42:54,114
instead of five chubby digits...
384
00:42:55,115 --> 00:42:56,325
they freaked.
385
00:43:00,496 --> 00:43:02,206
But I forgive them.
386
00:43:04,208 --> 00:43:06,960
[PAPERBOY READING HEADLINE]
387
00:43:07,127 --> 00:43:09,630
"You don't need hands
as long as you've got heart."
388
00:43:09,797 --> 00:43:12,841
"My heart is filled with love.
I feel 5 feet tall."
389
00:43:13,008 --> 00:43:16,637
- He's like a frog that became a prince.
- No, he's more like a penguin.
390
00:43:21,350 --> 00:43:22,768
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
391
00:43:23,185 --> 00:43:25,229
Now, pretty little thing.
392
00:43:25,395 --> 00:43:26,897
Nice and easy.
393
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:34,196
I just love a big, strong man
who's not afraid to show it...
394
00:43:34,363 --> 00:43:36,031
with someone half his size.
395
00:43:38,158 --> 00:43:40,285
Be gentle, it's my first time.
396
00:43:42,162 --> 00:43:43,914
[MAN GRUNTING]
397
00:43:48,085 --> 00:43:49,962
Tic-tac-toe.
398
00:43:53,298 --> 00:43:54,675
Thanks. I--
399
00:43:54,842 --> 00:43:57,678
You make it so easy, don't you?
400
00:43:57,845 --> 00:44:01,265
Always waiting for some Batman to save you.
401
00:44:03,559 --> 00:44:05,394
I am Catwoman.
402
00:44:06,228 --> 00:44:08,063
Hear me roar.
403
00:44:22,244 --> 00:44:26,248
I'd offer you coffee,
but my assistant is using her vacation time.
404
00:44:26,415 --> 00:44:27,624
Good time, too.
405
00:44:27,791 --> 00:44:31,545
Everyone but the bandits will be slacking off
till after New Year, anyway.
406
00:44:31,879 --> 00:44:35,632
- I'm not sure I like the inference, Bruce.
- Sorry, Max. Didn't realize I made one.
407
00:44:40,762 --> 00:44:44,725
I'm pushing this power plant now
because it'll cost more later.
408
00:44:45,309 --> 00:44:47,144
A million saved is a million earned.
409
00:44:48,103 --> 00:44:51,190
I commissioned this report. I thought you
might want to take a look at it.
410
00:44:53,650 --> 00:44:57,821
The point is, Max, Gotham City has
a power surplus. I'm sure you know that.
411
00:44:57,988 --> 00:44:59,198
My question is...
412
00:45:00,407 --> 00:45:01,450
what's your angle?
413
00:45:01,617 --> 00:45:04,953
Power surplus? Bruce, shame on you.
414
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:08,498
No such thing.
One can never have too much power.
415
00:45:08,790 --> 00:45:12,002
If my life has a meaning, that's the meaning.
416
00:45:12,377 --> 00:45:16,506
Yeah, well, I'm gonna fight you on this.
I've already spoken to the mayor...
417
00:45:16,673 --> 00:45:19,468
- and we see eye to eye.
- Mayors come and go.
418
00:45:19,635 --> 00:45:21,637
Blue bloods tire easy.
419
00:45:21,803 --> 00:45:24,306
You think you could go 15 rounds
with Muhammad Shreck?
420
00:45:24,473 --> 00:45:26,642
Well, I guess we're gonna find out.
421
00:45:26,808 --> 00:45:29,811
Of course, I don't have a crime boss
like Cobblepot in my corner, so--
422
00:45:29,978 --> 00:45:32,397
Crime boss? Shows what you know...
423
00:45:32,564 --> 00:45:35,234
Mr. To-the-manor-born-with-a-silver-spoon.
424
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,694
Oswald is Gotham's new golden boy.
425
00:45:37,861 --> 00:45:39,529
If his parents hadn't 86'd him...
426
00:45:39,696 --> 00:45:41,406
you two might have been bunkies
at prep school.
427
00:45:41,573 --> 00:45:43,116
Oswald controls the Red Triangle Gang.
428
00:45:43,283 --> 00:45:44,326
[DOOR OPENS]
429
00:45:44,493 --> 00:45:45,869
I can't prove it yet, but we both--
430
00:45:46,036 --> 00:45:48,372
Wayne, I'll not stand
for mudslinging in this office.
431
00:45:48,538 --> 00:45:52,042
If my assistant was here,
she already would have escorted you out....
432
00:45:52,209 --> 00:45:53,794
Anywhere he wants.
433
00:45:53,961 --> 00:45:57,839
Preferably some nightspot, grotto...
434
00:45:58,006 --> 00:46:00,801
or secluded hideaway.
435
00:46:03,178 --> 00:46:05,264
- Nice suit.
- Thanks.
436
00:46:05,430 --> 00:46:06,515
Selina.
437
00:46:09,559 --> 00:46:10,727
Selina. Selina.
438
00:46:10,894 --> 00:46:12,354
That's my name, Maximillions.
439
00:46:12,521 --> 00:46:15,107
Don't wear it out,
or I'll make you buy me a new one.
440
00:46:17,025 --> 00:46:18,193
Selina....
441
00:46:19,361 --> 00:46:22,197
This is Bruce Wayne.
442
00:46:23,490 --> 00:46:25,951
- Yeah, we've met.
- Have we?
443
00:46:26,118 --> 00:46:30,747
Oh, I'm sorry. You know what?
I mistook me for somebody else. Sorry.
444
00:46:30,914 --> 00:46:32,082
You mean, mistook me.
445
00:46:33,208 --> 00:46:35,711
I mistook.... Yeah. Isn't that what I said?
446
00:46:35,877 --> 00:46:37,546
No, I don't think so.
447
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:39,965
What happened?
448
00:46:41,383 --> 00:46:44,845
Did you injure yourself on that ski slope?
449
00:46:45,887 --> 00:46:48,974
Is that why you cut short your vacation?
Came back?
450
00:46:50,684 --> 00:46:53,687
It's a blur.
451
00:46:54,730 --> 00:47:00,402
I mean, not complete amnesia. I remember
Sister Mary Margaret puking in church...
452
00:47:00,861 --> 00:47:03,280
and Betsy Riley saying
it was morning sickness.
453
00:47:03,447 --> 00:47:06,450
And I remember the time
I forgot to wear my underpants to school...
454
00:47:06,616 --> 00:47:10,412
and the name of the boy
who noticed was Ricky Friedburg.
455
00:47:11,621 --> 00:47:12,956
He's dead now.
456
00:47:13,623 --> 00:47:16,752
But last night, complete blur.
457
00:47:18,795 --> 00:47:20,630
Couldn't you just die?
458
00:47:23,508 --> 00:47:25,802
Selina, please...
459
00:47:27,387 --> 00:47:29,264
show out Mr. Wayne.
460
00:47:29,431 --> 00:47:30,557
With pleasure.
461
00:47:32,559 --> 00:47:35,103
Um, your coat, Mr. Wayne.
462
00:47:35,604 --> 00:47:36,938
Oh. Right.
463
00:47:48,950 --> 00:47:52,162
You don't seem like the type
who does business with Mr. Shreck.
464
00:47:52,329 --> 00:47:54,790
No, you don't seem like the type
that takes orders from him.
465
00:47:54,956 --> 00:47:57,959
Well, that's a long story.
466
00:47:59,086 --> 00:48:01,213
I could free up some time.
467
00:48:03,048 --> 00:48:05,092
- I'm listed.
- I'm tempted.
468
00:48:05,258 --> 00:48:06,343
I'm working.
469
00:48:07,761 --> 00:48:08,845
I'm leaving.
470
00:48:09,429 --> 00:48:12,557
- Dad, you buy that blurry business?
- Women.
471
00:48:13,183 --> 00:48:15,060
Nothing surprises me, Chip.
472
00:48:15,727 --> 00:48:17,354
Except your late mother.
473
00:48:18,063 --> 00:48:20,565
Who'd have thought
Selina had a brain to damage?
474
00:48:21,066 --> 00:48:22,442
Bottom line?
475
00:48:22,859 --> 00:48:26,905
She tries to blackmail me,
I'll drop her out a higher window.
476
00:48:27,072 --> 00:48:30,283
Meantime, I've got badder fish to fry.
477
00:48:42,212 --> 00:48:45,173
Oswald, it's Max.
478
00:48:58,979 --> 00:49:00,147
You're home?
479
00:49:07,696 --> 00:49:08,864
How've you been?
480
00:49:10,699 --> 00:49:12,200
Your extended family?
481
00:49:13,201 --> 00:49:14,494
Good to have a family.
482
00:49:16,621 --> 00:49:18,665
I'd much rather not be disturbed now.
483
00:49:18,832 --> 00:49:21,918
Come on downstairs, Oswald.
I have a surprise.
484
00:49:22,085 --> 00:49:23,587
I don't like surprises.
485
00:49:24,713 --> 00:49:26,465
[PENGUIN GRUNTING]
486
00:49:41,021 --> 00:49:42,063
Come on down.
487
00:49:55,076 --> 00:49:56,286
SHRECK:
Don't peek.
488
00:49:58,455 --> 00:49:59,706
You'll spoil it.
489
00:50:05,504 --> 00:50:06,671
Ta-da!
490
00:50:23,396 --> 00:50:27,317
Yes. Adulation is a cross to bear.
God knows I know.
491
00:50:27,484 --> 00:50:30,946
But someone's got to supplant
our standing-in-the-way-of-progress mayor.
492
00:50:31,112 --> 00:50:34,616
And don't deny it, Mr. Cobblepot,
you've got the magic.
493
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,286
Your charisma's bigger than both of us.
Come on down.
494
00:50:40,789 --> 00:50:41,915
Mayor?
495
00:50:43,124 --> 00:50:44,292
Mayor.
496
00:50:44,918 --> 00:50:49,589
Max, elections happen in November.
Is this not late December?
497
00:50:49,756 --> 00:50:51,091
Don't worry about it.
498
00:50:51,258 --> 00:50:55,595
I want you to meet Jen and Josh,
my image consultants.
499
00:50:56,346 --> 00:50:57,514
Here.
500
00:50:57,847 --> 00:50:59,432
Reclaim your birthright.
501
00:51:02,519 --> 00:51:04,604
I'm Jen. Hi.
502
00:51:05,981 --> 00:51:07,649
Okay, let's see.
503
00:51:07,816 --> 00:51:12,320
What I'd like to do first is to put
these little glove thingies on you.
504
00:51:12,487 --> 00:51:15,156
Our research tells us
that voters like fingers.
505
00:51:15,448 --> 00:51:17,742
So if we wanna just lose this....
506
00:51:19,494 --> 00:51:21,746
We'll do it another time then, okay?
507
00:51:23,039 --> 00:51:26,042
Not a lot of reflective surfaces
down in the sewer, huh?
508
00:51:26,209 --> 00:51:27,419
[CHUCKLING]
509
00:51:29,629 --> 00:51:31,631
[ALL LAUGHING]
510
00:51:38,179 --> 00:51:42,851
Still, could be worse.
My nose could be gushing blood.
511
00:51:46,521 --> 00:51:49,232
Your nose could be....
What do you mean by that?
512
00:51:49,399 --> 00:51:50,775
[JOSH SCREAMING]
513
00:51:52,193 --> 00:51:53,653
Oh, God!
514
00:51:53,820 --> 00:51:56,031
Everybody, back to work!
515
00:51:56,823 --> 00:51:59,826
Let's make a mayor!
516
00:52:05,915 --> 00:52:08,793
You're right, we missed
the regularly scheduled election...
517
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,671
but elected officials can be recalled,
impeached...
518
00:52:11,838 --> 00:52:14,466
given the boot. Look at Nixon. Agnew.
519
00:52:14,633 --> 00:52:16,468
Then think of you...
520
00:52:16,635 --> 00:52:19,638
Oswald Cobblepot, filling the void.
521
00:52:19,804 --> 00:52:21,348
I'd like to fill her void.
522
00:52:24,726 --> 00:52:28,813
We're gonna need signatures
to overturn the ballot. I can supply those.
523
00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:32,817
- Teach her my French flipper trick.
- Oswald, we need one more thing.
524
00:52:35,236 --> 00:52:36,488
A platform?
525
00:52:38,365 --> 00:52:42,869
Stop global warming. Start global cooling.
Make the world a giant icebox.
526
00:52:43,036 --> 00:52:47,707
I like it. But to get the mayor recalled,
we have to have a catalyst, a trigger.
527
00:52:47,874 --> 00:52:50,210
You're doing great, Mayor Cobblepot.
528
00:52:50,877 --> 00:52:54,047
Your table is ready, Mayor Cobblepot.
529
00:52:54,214 --> 00:52:57,759
I need you, Oswald. I need you now.
530
00:52:58,927 --> 00:53:03,390
That's the biggest parasol I've ever seen.
531
00:53:03,556 --> 00:53:07,435
Soon. One incident like the Gulf of Tonkin
or the Reichstag fire.
532
00:53:15,735 --> 00:53:17,737
You want my old friends up there...
533
00:53:17,904 --> 00:53:20,573
to drive the mayor into a foaming frenzy?
534
00:53:20,740 --> 00:53:22,826
- Exactly.
- Sounds fun.
535
00:53:23,410 --> 00:53:25,286
But...
536
00:53:26,454 --> 00:53:28,248
I mustn't get sidetracked, Maxie.
537
00:53:28,415 --> 00:53:29,999
I've got my own things to tend to.
538
00:53:30,166 --> 00:53:34,379
Sidetracked? Oswald, this is your chance
to fulfill a destiny...
539
00:53:34,546 --> 00:53:36,798
your parents carelessly discarded.
540
00:53:41,177 --> 00:53:42,846
Reclaim my birthright, you mean?
541
00:53:43,012 --> 00:53:46,141
Imagine, as mayor,
you'd have the ear of the media...
542
00:53:46,975 --> 00:53:49,644
access to captains of industry...
543
00:53:49,811 --> 00:53:51,980
unlimited poontang.
544
00:53:55,692 --> 00:53:57,819
You drive a hard bargain, Maxie.
545
00:53:59,404 --> 00:54:00,780
All right, I'll be mayor.
546
00:54:05,034 --> 00:54:07,620
Burn, baby, burn!
547
00:55:21,653 --> 00:55:22,695
[GROWLING]
548
00:56:01,401 --> 00:56:03,069
[NAILS SCREECHING]
549
00:56:49,198 --> 00:56:51,451
- Who is she?
- What is she?
550
00:56:51,618 --> 00:56:54,329
I don't know whether to
open fire or fall in love.
551
00:56:55,371 --> 00:56:56,497
You poor guys.
552
00:56:56,664 --> 00:56:59,834
Always confusing your pistols
with your privates.
553
00:57:02,754 --> 00:57:05,298
Don't hurt us, lady.
Our take-home's less than 300.
554
00:57:05,465 --> 00:57:07,300
You're overpaid. Hit the road.
555
00:57:21,022 --> 00:57:22,273
[SCREAMS]
556
00:57:25,109 --> 00:57:27,195
Yeah. Go ahead and hit me.
557
00:57:28,988 --> 00:57:30,031
[CHUCKLES]
558
00:58:05,984 --> 00:58:07,527
Admiring your handiwork?
559
00:58:10,071 --> 00:58:11,864
Touring the riot scene.
560
00:58:13,533 --> 00:58:16,119
Gravely assessing the devastation.
561
00:58:18,287 --> 00:58:20,373
Upstanding mayor stuff.
562
00:58:24,460 --> 00:58:25,712
You're not the mayor.
563
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:30,299
Things change.
564
00:58:31,551 --> 00:58:32,677
What do you want?
565
00:58:32,844 --> 00:58:38,099
Ah. The direct approach.
I admire that in a man with a mask.
566
00:58:43,646 --> 00:58:46,315
You don't really think you'll win, do you?
567
00:58:49,110 --> 00:58:50,611
Things change.
568
00:58:50,778 --> 00:58:52,155
[WHOOSHING]
569
00:59:03,416 --> 00:59:04,542
Meow.
570
00:59:15,845 --> 00:59:18,306
I saw her first. Gotta fly.
571
01:00:07,563 --> 01:00:10,274
How could you? I'm a woman.
572
01:00:10,858 --> 01:00:11,901
I'm sorry. I--
573
01:00:25,873 --> 01:00:30,586
As I was saying, I'm a woman
and can't be taken for granted.
574
01:00:31,420 --> 01:00:34,048
Life's a bitch, now so am I.
575
01:00:35,258 --> 01:00:36,300
[YELPS]
576
01:00:50,857 --> 01:00:54,235
Who are you?
Who's the man behind the bat?
577
01:00:56,571 --> 01:00:58,656
Maybe you can help me find...
578
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:02,535
the woman behind the cat.
579
01:01:03,703 --> 01:01:06,831
No, that's not you.
580
01:01:08,166 --> 01:01:09,917
Ahh.
581
01:01:11,127 --> 01:01:12,753
There you are.
582
01:01:28,436 --> 01:01:30,479
Saved by Kitty Litter.
583
01:01:31,230 --> 01:01:32,481
[SNICKERING]
584
01:01:34,442 --> 01:01:35,943
Bastard!
585
01:01:52,877 --> 01:01:54,003
Alfred...
586
01:01:54,754 --> 01:01:57,298
bring me some antiseptic ointment,
would you?
587
01:01:57,465 --> 01:01:59,300
ALFRED:
Coming. Are you in pain, sir?
588
01:02:00,468 --> 01:02:03,471
No. Not really.
589
01:02:14,148 --> 01:02:15,316
Meow.
590
01:02:18,736 --> 01:02:19,987
PENGUIN:
Thank you.
591
01:02:20,154 --> 01:02:22,156
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
592
01:02:26,202 --> 01:02:29,205
I may have saved the mayor's baby...
593
01:02:30,456 --> 01:02:32,833
but I refuse to save a mayor...
594
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,795
who stood by, helpless as a baby...
595
01:02:36,212 --> 01:02:40,174
while Gotham was ravaged by a disease...
596
01:02:40,341 --> 01:02:44,929
that turned Eagle Scouts
into crazed clowns...
597
01:02:45,096 --> 01:02:48,808
and happy homemakers into catwomen.
598
01:02:48,975 --> 01:02:50,059
Thank you.
599
01:02:52,937 --> 01:02:56,023
Oswald Cobblepot, the mystery man-beast
who's been romancing Gotham...
600
01:02:56,190 --> 01:02:57,900
today made his bid to run Gotham.
601
01:02:58,067 --> 01:02:59,360
Thank you.
602
01:03:00,820 --> 01:03:05,241
Mr. Cobblepot, you are the coolest role model
a young person could have.
603
01:03:05,866 --> 01:03:11,247
And you're the hottest young person
a role model could have.
604
01:03:13,165 --> 01:03:14,250
Here.
605
01:03:15,293 --> 01:03:16,919
Wear a button.
606
01:03:18,212 --> 01:03:21,048
Let me just get it on there.
607
01:03:25,011 --> 01:03:26,220
Thank you.
608
01:03:27,346 --> 01:03:28,556
Thank you.
609
01:03:31,309 --> 01:03:32,935
I could really get into this mayor stuff.
610
01:03:33,102 --> 01:03:35,604
It's not about power,
it's about reaching out to people...
611
01:03:35,771 --> 01:03:37,606
touching people, groping people.
612
01:03:37,773 --> 01:03:39,775
- Penguin--
- My name's not Penguin!
613
01:03:39,942 --> 01:03:42,403
It's Oswald Cobblepot.
614
01:03:42,570 --> 01:03:46,198
Oswald, there's somebody here to see you.
615
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:49,285
PENGUIN:
Ooh.
616
01:03:49,452 --> 01:03:51,203
[PENGUIN GRUNTING]
617
01:03:53,789 --> 01:03:56,459
Just the pussy I've been looking for.
618
01:04:01,255 --> 01:04:02,798
It's chilly in here.
619
01:04:04,300 --> 01:04:07,094
- I'll warm you.
- Down, Oswald.
620
01:04:07,261 --> 01:04:08,888
[SNIFFING]
621
01:04:09,764 --> 01:04:11,265
We need to talk.
622
01:04:11,432 --> 01:04:15,227
You see, you and I have something in common.
623
01:04:15,936 --> 01:04:17,355
Sounds familiar.
624
01:04:18,064 --> 01:04:20,107
Appetite for destruction?
625
01:04:20,274 --> 01:04:22,818
Contempt for the czars of fashion?
626
01:04:22,985 --> 01:04:24,820
Wait, don't tell me.
627
01:04:24,987 --> 01:04:28,449
Naked sexual charisma?
628
01:04:28,616 --> 01:04:29,825
Batman.
629
01:04:30,868 --> 01:04:33,746
The thorn in both our sides.
630
01:04:33,913 --> 01:04:36,165
The fly in our ointment.
631
01:04:36,332 --> 01:04:37,500
Ointment?
632
01:04:38,501 --> 01:04:40,836
I've got scented or unscented.
633
01:04:41,003 --> 01:04:42,546
I'll come back later.
634
01:04:43,089 --> 01:04:47,385
Perchance, are you a registered voter?
I am a mayoral prospect.
635
01:04:47,551 --> 01:04:50,596
CATWOMAN:
I have but one pet cause today.
636
01:04:51,055 --> 01:04:52,515
Ban the bat.
637
01:04:52,681 --> 01:04:57,395
Oh, him again. No bother.
He's already history. Check it out.
638
01:04:57,853 --> 01:05:02,441
We're gonna disassemble his Batmobile
and turn it into an H-bomb on wheels.
639
01:05:03,818 --> 01:05:05,027
CATWOMAN:
No. No.
640
01:05:05,611 --> 01:05:08,114
He'd have even more power as a martyr.
641
01:05:08,489 --> 01:05:13,077
To destroy Batman, we must first turn him
into what he hates the most.
642
01:05:13,244 --> 01:05:14,954
Namely, us.
643
01:05:16,831 --> 01:05:18,207
You mean, frame him?
644
01:05:18,374 --> 01:05:21,544
CATWOMAN: Not even in office yet
and already an enemies list, hm?
645
01:05:23,337 --> 01:05:25,714
Those names are not for prying eyes.
646
01:05:26,507 --> 01:05:27,758
[BIRD CHIRPING]
647
01:05:27,925 --> 01:05:31,137
Why should I trust some cat-broad, anyway?
648
01:05:31,762 --> 01:05:36,058
Maybe you're just a screwed-up sorority chick
who's getting back at her daddy...
649
01:05:36,225 --> 01:05:40,229
for not buying her that pony
when she turned sweet 16.
650
01:05:50,781 --> 01:05:52,324
[WHISTLING]
651
01:05:57,079 --> 01:05:58,456
Nice birdie.
652
01:06:08,340 --> 01:06:11,385
Mmm. Mmm.
653
01:06:13,888 --> 01:06:15,347
Nice kitty.
654
01:06:15,514 --> 01:06:17,057
- Mm-mmm.
- Nice kitty.
655
01:06:17,224 --> 01:06:18,851
Nice kitty.
656
01:06:24,106 --> 01:06:26,525
Look, Batman napalmed my arm.
657
01:06:26,692 --> 01:06:30,613
He knocked me off a building just when
I was starting to feel good about myself.
658
01:06:30,779 --> 01:06:33,657
I want to play an integral part
in his degradation.
659
01:06:37,661 --> 01:06:40,623
A plan is forming.
660
01:06:44,335 --> 01:06:46,170
[SQUEAKING]
661
01:06:47,922 --> 01:06:49,298
I want in.
662
01:06:51,675 --> 01:06:54,637
The thought of busting Batman
makes me feel all...
663
01:06:56,722 --> 01:06:57,806
dirty.
664
01:07:02,186 --> 01:07:05,189
Maybe I'll just give myself
a bath right here.
665
01:07:16,033 --> 01:07:17,952
I challenge the mayor...
666
01:07:18,118 --> 01:07:21,956
to relight the Christmas tree
in Gotham Plaza tomorrow night.
667
01:07:22,957 --> 01:07:27,628
Sir, shall we change the channel
to a program with some dignity and class?
668
01:07:28,462 --> 01:07:30,422
The Love Connection perhaps?
669
01:07:32,216 --> 01:07:34,677
Not that I have any faith in the mayor.
670
01:07:35,302 --> 01:07:38,681
But I hope and pray that Batman...
671
01:07:38,847 --> 01:07:43,018
will be present to preserve the peace.
Thank you very much.
672
01:07:43,185 --> 01:07:44,353
Subtle.
673
01:07:48,148 --> 01:07:49,858
SELINA:
Why are you doing this?
674
01:07:52,111 --> 01:07:53,862
BRUCE: Selina?
- Huh?
675
01:07:54,029 --> 01:07:56,991
Hi. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
676
01:07:57,157 --> 01:08:00,828
Scare me? No.
I was just scaring myself, actually.
677
01:08:01,662 --> 01:08:03,747
I don't see how, but....
678
01:08:03,914 --> 01:08:06,834
It's nice to see you out in the real world,
away from Shreck.
679
01:08:07,668 --> 01:08:10,004
Well, it's nice to be here.
680
01:08:14,008 --> 01:08:16,176
- You all right?
- Hm? Mm-hm.
681
01:08:17,303 --> 01:08:20,389
You look like maybe you have
the holiday blues or something.
682
01:08:21,056 --> 01:08:22,141
No.
683
01:08:23,058 --> 01:08:27,187
Boy, the news these days. Weird.
684
01:08:28,522 --> 01:08:30,441
I heard on TV that...
685
01:08:30,608 --> 01:08:33,110
Catwoman is thought to weigh 140 pounds.
686
01:08:34,194 --> 01:08:36,113
I don't know how these hacks sleep at night.
687
01:08:36,739 --> 01:08:39,158
It's not even accurate. "Batman blows it"?
688
01:08:39,825 --> 01:08:42,578
He probably saved millions of dollars
in property damage alone.
689
01:08:43,996 --> 01:08:47,875
You're not going to that, are you?
The relighting of the tree thing?
690
01:08:48,042 --> 01:08:50,377
No. I wouldn't be caught dead there.
691
01:08:51,503 --> 01:08:54,798
It's gonna be a hot time
on the cold town tonight.
692
01:08:56,884 --> 01:08:59,845
You got kind of a dark side, don't you?
693
01:09:00,012 --> 01:09:01,889
No darker than yours, Bruce.
694
01:09:02,973 --> 01:09:04,433
[CAR HORN HONKING]
695
01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:08,604
Listen, why don't you come over
and we can watch it together on TV?
696
01:09:08,771 --> 01:09:11,982
- What?
- The tree-lighting ceremony.
697
01:09:12,149 --> 01:09:15,110
I can't. I have to be somewhere tonight.
698
01:09:15,277 --> 01:09:18,322
How about if you come over
for an early dinner. Let's say 5?
699
01:09:18,489 --> 01:09:19,907
Let's say 6?
700
01:09:20,074 --> 01:09:21,700
Okay, 5.
701
01:09:21,867 --> 01:09:24,161
Five. You and me. Okay?
702
01:09:30,834 --> 01:09:34,088
The tree lights up,
and then I push the button.
703
01:09:34,254 --> 01:09:35,506
No, wait.
704
01:09:35,673 --> 01:09:38,467
I press the button,
and then the tree lights up.
705
01:09:41,261 --> 01:09:44,390
- Who are you?
- Talent scout.
706
01:09:45,182 --> 01:09:46,433
Come in.
707
01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:50,229
You know, I don't just light trees.
I'm an actress, as well.
708
01:09:50,396 --> 01:09:51,605
Ooh.
709
01:09:52,564 --> 01:09:55,776
ICE PRINCESS: What is that thing?
A camera or something?
710
01:09:56,443 --> 01:09:57,486
Say cheese.
711
01:09:59,113 --> 01:10:00,155
Cheese.
712
01:10:00,614 --> 01:10:01,657
[THUD]
713
01:10:11,792 --> 01:10:13,001
Thanks, Alfred.
714
01:10:15,129 --> 01:10:17,464
I'm sure he's wonderful company...
715
01:10:17,631 --> 01:10:21,260
but doesn't the gold-plated bachelor bit
get a little stale?
716
01:10:22,594 --> 01:10:26,014
A lot like the lonely secretary syndrome,
I guess.
717
01:10:26,181 --> 01:10:29,101
- Executive assistant.
- Sorry.
718
01:10:32,938 --> 01:10:34,022
Secretary.
719
01:10:38,819 --> 01:10:40,362
Any girlfriend?
720
01:10:42,906 --> 01:10:44,158
Sure.
721
01:10:45,451 --> 01:10:47,661
You mean, as in serious?
722
01:10:47,828 --> 01:10:50,914
Uh, no. Had one, didn't work.
723
01:10:51,081 --> 01:10:54,460
What went wrong? Hang on, I think I know.
724
01:10:55,502 --> 01:10:58,464
- You kept things from her.
- No, I told her everything.
725
01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:01,341
And the truth frightened her?
726
01:11:01,508 --> 01:11:06,013
There are two truths, you know?
727
01:11:07,264 --> 01:11:10,392
She had trouble reconciling them,
because I had trouble...
728
01:11:11,977 --> 01:11:13,353
reconciling them.
729
01:11:14,563 --> 01:11:15,689
Yeah.
730
01:11:17,649 --> 01:11:19,651
- See, Vicki thought--
- Vicki?
731
01:11:21,236 --> 01:11:22,905
Ice skater or stewardess?
732
01:11:24,865 --> 01:11:27,993
No, she was a photojournalist.
733
01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:32,623
Well, was Vicki right
about your difficulty with duality?
734
01:11:36,794 --> 01:11:37,961
See....
735
01:11:38,879 --> 01:11:41,298
If I say yes, then...
736
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:44,760
you're gonna think of me as...
737
01:11:44,927 --> 01:11:48,013
a Norman Bates, Ted Bundy type and....
738
01:11:53,977 --> 01:11:57,356
Well, you might not let me kiss you.
739
01:12:00,901 --> 01:12:03,946
It's the so-called normal guys
who always let you down.
740
01:12:04,530 --> 01:12:07,783
Sickos never scare me.
At least they're committed.
741
01:12:11,370 --> 01:12:14,081
Well, yeah.
742
01:12:32,140 --> 01:12:33,225
[GROANS]
743
01:12:47,656 --> 01:12:50,242
- You can't do that.
- Neither can I.
744
01:12:51,785 --> 01:12:55,122
REPORTER: The Ice Princess has been
kidnapped. Commissioner Gordon...
745
01:12:55,330 --> 01:12:57,499
can you confirm for us
the reports we're hearing...
746
01:12:57,666 --> 01:13:00,544
of Batman's suspected involvement
in the abduction?
747
01:13:00,711 --> 01:13:03,130
This evidence is purely circumstantial.
748
01:13:03,964 --> 01:13:07,759
This was found, stained with blood,
in the missing girl's dressing room.
749
01:13:10,095 --> 01:13:12,556
- I gotta get out of here.
- No, it's your house.
750
01:13:12,723 --> 01:13:17,227
Hold on. Just sit for a second and relax.
I'll be right back.
751
01:13:25,777 --> 01:13:28,989
- Alfred, I've got to get down to the plaza.
- I saw it.
752
01:13:29,156 --> 01:13:31,158
I know. He's practically begging me to show.
753
01:13:31,325 --> 01:13:32,701
Which is why I hoped you'd snub him.
754
01:13:32,868 --> 01:13:35,871
No, I can't. There's been a kidnapping.
Here's what I want you to do.
755
01:13:36,538 --> 01:13:37,664
[SOFTLY]
Shit!
756
01:13:41,376 --> 01:13:45,339
Tell Selina, you know, Miss Kyle in there,
tell her I had to go out of town.
757
01:13:45,505 --> 01:13:49,509
Tell her there's a big business deal
that came up. No, you know what?
758
01:13:49,676 --> 01:13:53,263
Let her know, not in some kind of dumb,
be-my-girlfriend kind of way--
759
01:13:53,430 --> 01:13:55,474
- I will relay the message.
- Great.
760
01:13:59,144 --> 01:14:00,270
- Miss Kyle...
- Alfred.
761
01:14:00,437 --> 01:14:03,315
- Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that--
- Mr. Wayne?
762
01:14:03,482 --> 01:14:04,775
Bruce, yes.
763
01:14:04,942 --> 01:14:07,861
Um, would you tell him for me that...
764
01:14:08,028 --> 01:14:11,448
I've been going through
a lot of changes and....
765
01:14:12,741 --> 01:14:14,743
No. Just that...
766
01:14:15,243 --> 01:14:18,997
this is not a rejection, my abruptly leaving.
767
01:14:19,581 --> 01:14:21,583
In fact, he makes me feel the way...
768
01:14:22,709 --> 01:14:24,044
I hope I really am.
769
01:14:24,628 --> 01:14:25,879
No.
770
01:14:26,046 --> 01:14:30,300
Could you just make up a sonnet
or something, a dirty limerick?
771
01:14:30,467 --> 01:14:33,887
- One has just sprung to mind.
- Thanks.
772
01:14:34,054 --> 01:14:37,224
- This way, ma'am.
- Sorry.
773
01:15:05,669 --> 01:15:06,878
Where is that?
774
01:15:36,616 --> 01:15:38,201
MAYOR:
Ladies and gentlemen.
775
01:15:38,368 --> 01:15:41,204
Please, if I could have your attention
for just a minute.
776
01:15:43,540 --> 01:15:45,959
Folks, I know that to many of you...
777
01:15:46,126 --> 01:15:48,795
Gotham seems a bit beleaguered these days.
778
01:15:49,713 --> 01:15:52,382
But I want you to know
that your elected officials...
779
01:15:52,549 --> 01:15:56,887
and your police department have
the situation well in hand.
780
01:16:04,978 --> 01:16:06,563
[DEVICE BEEPING]
781
01:16:57,864 --> 01:16:59,741
- Gotta hurry.
- Thank you.
782
01:16:59,908 --> 01:17:02,911
- It was set up to look like I did this.
- No sweat. I'll just tell the police...
783
01:17:03,078 --> 01:17:05,122
I was kidnapped by an ugly birdman
with fish breath.
784
01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:06,957
Did somebody say "fish"?
785
01:17:07,124 --> 01:17:09,459
I haven't been fed all day.
786
01:17:09,918 --> 01:17:10,919
Eat floor.
787
01:17:13,380 --> 01:17:14,714
High fiber.
788
01:17:15,382 --> 01:17:16,800
Hey, stud...
789
01:17:16,967 --> 01:17:20,554
- I thought we had something together.
- We do.
790
01:17:36,611 --> 01:17:38,822
Gotta go. Girl talk.
791
01:17:55,839 --> 01:17:57,090
[BEEPING]
792
01:18:06,349 --> 01:18:10,478
She let me go. I think
because I reasoned with her, girl to girl.
793
01:18:12,105 --> 01:18:14,107
Be careful. Don't move.
794
01:18:16,443 --> 01:18:17,819
Lawn dart!
795
01:18:19,446 --> 01:18:21,114
[BATS SQUEAKING]
796
01:18:21,948 --> 01:18:24,034
Rats with wings, do your thing.
797
01:18:24,201 --> 01:18:25,619
[ICE PRINCESS SCREAMING]
798
01:18:30,624 --> 01:18:32,792
Batman pushed the Princess!
799
01:18:37,297 --> 01:18:39,299
[BATS SQUEAKING]
800
01:18:47,766 --> 01:18:48,850
Hold your fire!
801
01:18:50,644 --> 01:18:51,978
Hold your fire!
802
01:19:04,449 --> 01:19:06,785
You're catnip to a girl like me.
803
01:19:07,827 --> 01:19:10,413
Handsome, dazed...
804
01:19:11,206 --> 01:19:13,166
and to die for.
805
01:19:20,966 --> 01:19:23,176
Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
806
01:19:24,177 --> 01:19:28,473
But a kiss can be even deadlier
if you mean it.
807
01:19:37,565 --> 01:19:40,986
You're the second man
who killed me this week.
808
01:19:41,152 --> 01:19:43,029
But I've got seven lives left.
809
01:19:43,196 --> 01:19:44,322
I tried to save you--
810
01:19:44,489 --> 01:19:47,867
Seems like every woman
you try to save ends up dead.
811
01:19:48,743 --> 01:19:50,453
Or deeply resentful.
812
01:19:51,037 --> 01:19:52,914
Maybe you should retire.
813
01:20:16,062 --> 01:20:17,147
Damn.
814
01:20:52,432 --> 01:20:53,892
Outstanding.
815
01:20:54,601 --> 01:20:57,145
You're Beauty and the Beast...
816
01:20:57,312 --> 01:21:01,232
in one luscious Christmas gift pack.
817
01:21:01,399 --> 01:21:03,651
You said you were going to scare
the Ice Princess.
818
01:21:03,818 --> 01:21:05,779
She looked pretty scared to me.
819
01:21:05,945 --> 01:21:07,364
[LAUGHING]
820
01:21:08,448 --> 01:21:09,824
Touch of the bubbly?
821
01:21:14,204 --> 01:21:15,955
So, what are we waiting for?
822
01:21:16,498 --> 01:21:19,793
Let's consummate our fiendish union.
823
01:21:19,959 --> 01:21:21,503
What are you talking about?
824
01:21:22,128 --> 01:21:25,090
Oh, come on. Can't you picture?
825
01:21:25,465 --> 01:21:27,717
It's dark in the mayor's mansion.
826
01:21:27,884 --> 01:21:32,097
I'm bushed,
so here you come into the bedroom...
827
01:21:32,472 --> 01:21:34,349
twitching your little tail...
828
01:21:34,516 --> 01:21:37,685
my slippers in one hand,
a dry martini in the other.
829
01:21:37,852 --> 01:21:39,187
CATWOMAN:
Oh, please.
830
01:21:39,813 --> 01:21:41,898
I wouldn't touch you to scratch you.
831
01:21:42,065 --> 01:21:44,818
You lousy minx! I ought to have you spayed!
832
01:21:44,984 --> 01:21:46,694
You sent out all the signals!
833
01:21:46,861 --> 01:21:49,114
And I don't think I like you anymore!
834
01:21:57,497 --> 01:22:01,209
Goodbye, my unintended. Go to heaven.
835
01:22:25,608 --> 01:22:27,610
[SCREAMING]
836
01:22:38,121 --> 01:22:39,289
Thank you.
837
01:23:00,935 --> 01:23:01,978
There he is!
838
01:23:04,772 --> 01:23:06,524
Don't adjust your sets.
839
01:23:07,317 --> 01:23:12,071
Welcome to
the Oswald Cobblepot School of Driving.
840
01:23:12,906 --> 01:23:15,992
Gentlemen, start your screaming.
841
01:23:26,753 --> 01:23:28,379
[LAUGHING]
842
01:23:49,359 --> 01:23:53,780
Maybe this is a bad time to mention this,
but my license has expired!
843
01:23:54,113 --> 01:23:56,199
[SIRENS WAILING]
844
01:24:10,755 --> 01:24:11,798
Just relax.
845
01:24:11,965 --> 01:24:16,678
I'll take care of the squealing,
wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham!
846
01:25:03,474 --> 01:25:06,144
You gotta admit,
I played this stinking city...
847
01:25:06,311 --> 01:25:08,187
like a harp from hell!
848
01:25:27,915 --> 01:25:30,126
Helpless old lady at 12:00 high.
849
01:25:43,264 --> 01:25:44,557
[PENGUIN GRUNTING]
850
01:25:52,440 --> 01:25:54,776
[YELLING]
851
01:26:07,747 --> 01:26:08,790
That's funny.
852
01:26:17,548 --> 01:26:18,925
Now I'm a little worried.
853
01:26:46,452 --> 01:26:48,454
So he survived. What's the worry?
854
01:26:48,621 --> 01:26:52,792
He didn't even lose a limb,
an eyeball, bladder control.
855
01:26:52,959 --> 01:26:56,879
The point is, listen to them.
They've lost faith in old symbols.
856
01:26:57,046 --> 01:27:00,174
They're ready to bond with you,
the icon of the future.
857
01:27:00,341 --> 01:27:02,176
If it works, don't fix it.
858
01:27:02,343 --> 01:27:04,679
We'll celebrate tonight
at my annual Max-querade Ball.
859
01:27:04,846 --> 01:27:06,931
Shreck and Cobblepot...
860
01:27:07,473 --> 01:27:10,643
the visionary alliance. Come on.
861
01:27:11,185 --> 01:27:13,187
[CROWD CHEERING]
862
01:27:29,495 --> 01:27:31,414
When it came time...
863
01:27:31,581 --> 01:27:35,251
to ensure the safety of our fair city...
864
01:27:36,335 --> 01:27:38,129
did the mayor have a plan?
865
01:27:38,296 --> 01:27:39,380
CROWD:
No!
866
01:27:39,547 --> 01:27:40,673
PENGUIN:
No!
867
01:27:41,841 --> 01:27:45,094
He relied on a man.
868
01:27:45,678 --> 01:27:47,555
A Batman.
869
01:27:48,014 --> 01:27:51,934
A ticking time-bomb of a costumed freak....
870
01:27:52,101 --> 01:27:55,688
Our prime concern is this ghastly grotesque.
871
01:27:56,022 --> 01:27:59,108
But let's not forget
about repairing the Batmobile.
872
01:27:59,275 --> 01:28:01,527
There's security to consider.
873
01:28:01,694 --> 01:28:05,490
It's not as though we can take it
to any old Joe's body shop, is it, sir?
874
01:28:05,656 --> 01:28:06,908
Security?
875
01:28:07,074 --> 01:28:09,118
Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave?
876
01:28:09,285 --> 01:28:13,623
I'm sitting there, working, and I turn around
and there she is. "Hi, Vick. Come on in."
877
01:28:23,090 --> 01:28:25,551
- Ready?
- I think I'll take the stairs.
878
01:28:46,739 --> 01:28:51,619
PENGUIN:
You ask me, am I up here for personal glory?
879
01:28:52,620 --> 01:28:53,788
No.
880
01:28:55,039 --> 01:28:58,334
I toiled for many years...
881
01:28:58,501 --> 01:29:01,170
in utter obscurity...
882
01:29:01,337 --> 01:29:05,299
beneath your boulevards.
883
01:29:06,509 --> 01:29:09,929
The glory that I yearn to recapture...
884
01:29:10,596 --> 01:29:13,724
is the glory of Gotham!
885
01:29:30,950 --> 01:29:34,245
How can this be accomplished?
886
01:29:35,663 --> 01:29:39,584
I know you're all concerned.
887
01:29:41,752 --> 01:29:43,462
PENGUIN [ON RECORDING]:
Hey, just relax.
888
01:29:43,629 --> 01:29:48,885
I'll take care of the squealing,
wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham!
889
01:29:55,391 --> 01:29:56,851
I didn't say that.
890
01:29:59,270 --> 01:30:03,357
PENGUIN [ON RECORDING]: You gotta admit,
I played this stinking city...
891
01:30:03,524 --> 01:30:05,484
like a harp from hell!
892
01:30:07,486 --> 01:30:09,614
[RECORDING REPEATING]
893
01:30:14,160 --> 01:30:15,286
Boo!
894
01:30:20,207 --> 01:30:21,834
[SCRATCHING]
895
01:30:30,927 --> 01:30:32,929
[CROWD BOOING]
896
01:30:37,350 --> 01:30:38,976
WOMAN:
Get out of here!
897
01:30:47,443 --> 01:30:48,486
[YELLING]
898
01:31:05,878 --> 01:31:09,590
Why is there always someone
who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?
899
01:31:34,198 --> 01:31:35,324
There he is!
900
01:32:06,731 --> 01:32:08,065
My babies.
901
01:32:09,567 --> 01:32:10,943
Did you miss me?
902
01:32:25,291 --> 01:32:26,834
Did you miss me?
903
01:32:28,586 --> 01:32:30,171
Great speech, Oswald.
904
01:32:31,589 --> 01:32:35,509
My name is not Oswald! It's Penguin!
905
01:32:35,801 --> 01:32:37,970
I am not a human being!
906
01:32:38,304 --> 01:32:41,515
I am an animal! Cold-blooded!
907
01:32:41,974 --> 01:32:43,642
Crank the a.c.!
908
01:32:43,809 --> 01:32:46,729
Where are my lists? Bring me the names!
909
01:32:47,813 --> 01:32:49,315
It's time.
910
01:32:49,482 --> 01:32:53,694
These are the names
of the first-born sons of Gotham City.
911
01:32:53,861 --> 01:32:55,654
Just like I was.
912
01:32:55,988 --> 01:32:59,825
And like me, a terrible fate waits for them.
913
01:33:00,826 --> 01:33:03,871
Tonight, while their parents party...
914
01:33:04,163 --> 01:33:06,707
they'll be dreaming away...
915
01:33:06,874 --> 01:33:09,085
in their safe cribs...
916
01:33:09,251 --> 01:33:11,253
their soft beds...
917
01:33:11,504 --> 01:33:13,672
and we will snatch them...
918
01:33:13,839 --> 01:33:15,758
carry them into the sewer...
919
01:33:15,925 --> 01:33:20,179
and toss them into a deep,
dark, watery grave.
920
01:33:20,679 --> 01:33:22,264
CLOWN:
Um, Penguin?
921
01:33:23,182 --> 01:33:27,520
I mean, killing sleeping children,
isn't that a little, uh...?
922
01:33:37,196 --> 01:33:39,865
No, it's a lot "uh."
923
01:33:49,375 --> 01:33:50,751
ALFRED:
Mr. Wayne, a reminder.
924
01:33:50,918 --> 01:33:54,964
Tonight is that loathsome party
hosted by the odious Mr. Shreck.
925
01:33:55,381 --> 01:33:58,092
May we RSVP in the resoundingly negative?
926
01:33:58,759 --> 01:33:59,802
Not interested.
927
01:34:02,346 --> 01:34:03,514
Although...
928
01:34:05,933 --> 01:34:07,810
Selina Kyle might be there.
929
01:34:11,438 --> 01:34:13,440
[BAND PLAYING "SUPER FREAK"]
930
01:34:31,250 --> 01:34:32,793
Ingenious costume.
931
01:34:33,419 --> 01:34:34,753
Let me guess.
932
01:34:35,087 --> 01:34:37,173
Trust fund goodie-goodie.
933
01:34:38,424 --> 01:34:39,758
Feeling good, huh?
934
01:34:40,759 --> 01:34:44,471
Well, you almost made a monster
the mayor of Gotham City.
935
01:34:44,638 --> 01:34:46,682
I am the light of this city...
936
01:34:47,266 --> 01:34:49,476
and I am its mean, twisted soul.
937
01:34:50,269 --> 01:34:51,645
Does it matter who's mayor?
938
01:34:52,271 --> 01:34:54,607
- It does to me.
- Yawn.
939
01:35:00,070 --> 01:35:02,072
[SONG ENDS AND CROWD APPLAUDS]
940
01:35:03,449 --> 01:35:06,452
[SIOUXSIE & THE BANSHEES'
"FACE TO FACE" PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
941
01:35:31,936 --> 01:35:33,103
- Hi.
- Hi.
942
01:35:33,270 --> 01:35:35,773
I'm sorry about yesterday, but I had...
943
01:35:35,940 --> 01:35:39,193
a pretty big deal come through.
Fall through, actually.
944
01:35:39,360 --> 01:35:42,196
It's okay. I had to go home and feed my cat.
945
01:35:51,038 --> 01:35:52,456
So no hard feelings, then?
946
01:35:55,334 --> 01:35:56,627
Actually...
947
01:35:58,963 --> 01:36:00,631
semi-hard, I'd say.
948
01:36:07,179 --> 01:36:10,933
There's a big, comfy California King
over in Bedding.
949
01:36:12,226 --> 01:36:13,686
What do you say?
950
01:36:14,853 --> 01:36:16,605
You mean, take off our costumes?
951
01:36:20,359 --> 01:36:22,569
I guess I'm tired of wearing masks.
952
01:36:23,320 --> 01:36:24,446
Me too.
953
01:36:25,990 --> 01:36:27,491
Let me ask you something.
954
01:36:28,993 --> 01:36:30,369
Why'd you come tonight?
955
01:36:31,370 --> 01:36:33,122
- You first.
- To see you.
956
01:36:35,666 --> 01:36:36,709
That's lovely.
957
01:36:38,460 --> 01:36:42,089
I really wish I could say the same,
but I came for Max.
958
01:36:44,717 --> 01:36:46,427
What do you mean? You and....
959
01:36:46,593 --> 01:36:47,720
Not you and Max.
960
01:36:47,886 --> 01:36:49,430
[LAUGHING]
961
01:36:49,596 --> 01:36:50,889
Me and Max.
962
01:36:57,354 --> 01:36:59,732
No. This and Max.
963
01:37:02,484 --> 01:37:06,280
Don't give me
a killing-Max-won't-solve-anything speech.
964
01:37:06,447 --> 01:37:07,573
Because it will.
965
01:37:07,740 --> 01:37:10,951
Aren't you tired
of this sanctimonious robber-baron...
966
01:37:11,118 --> 01:37:13,620
always coming out on top
when he should be six feet under?
967
01:37:13,787 --> 01:37:16,081
I'm sure you have a lot of problems
with your boss...
968
01:37:16,248 --> 01:37:18,167
but who the hell do you think you are?
969
01:37:21,503 --> 01:37:23,672
I don't know anymore, Bruce.
970
01:37:25,424 --> 01:37:26,884
[LAUGHING]
971
01:37:38,145 --> 01:37:40,272
A kiss under the mistletoe.
972
01:37:41,857 --> 01:37:45,736
You know,
mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
973
01:37:45,903 --> 01:37:47,696
But a kiss can be even deadlier...
974
01:37:50,616 --> 01:37:51,784
if you mean it.
975
01:38:02,461 --> 01:38:03,712
Oh, my God.
976
01:38:04,588 --> 01:38:06,673
Does this mean we have to start fighting?
977
01:38:08,342 --> 01:38:09,551
Let's go outside.
978
01:38:17,851 --> 01:38:19,895
[ALL SCREAMING]
979
01:38:45,504 --> 01:38:47,423
- Are you okay?
- I'm all right.
980
01:38:56,181 --> 01:38:59,893
You didn't invite me, so I crashed!
981
01:39:01,103 --> 01:39:02,813
[CHUCKLING]
982
01:39:03,480 --> 01:39:06,483
- What do you want?
- Right now, my troops...
983
01:39:06,650 --> 01:39:09,027
are fanning out across town...
984
01:39:09,194 --> 01:39:12,197
for your children! Yes!
985
01:39:12,364 --> 01:39:15,033
For your first-born sons!
986
01:39:15,200 --> 01:39:18,203
The ones you left defenseless at home...
987
01:39:18,537 --> 01:39:20,789
so you could dress up like jerks...
988
01:39:20,956 --> 01:39:23,667
get juiced and dance...
989
01:39:23,834 --> 01:39:25,169
badly!
990
01:39:29,882 --> 01:39:31,717
I've personally come...
991
01:39:32,384 --> 01:39:34,761
for Gotham's favorite son:
992
01:39:34,928 --> 01:39:36,555
Mr. Chip Shreck.
993
01:39:37,931 --> 01:39:41,351
You're coming with me,
you great white dope...
994
01:39:41,643 --> 01:39:44,271
to die way down in the sewer.
995
01:39:44,438 --> 01:39:48,442
Not Chip. If you have an iota
of human feeling, take me instead.
996
01:39:50,736 --> 01:39:52,654
I don't. So, no.
997
01:39:52,821 --> 01:39:54,823
I'm the one you want. Ask yourself.
998
01:39:54,990 --> 01:39:58,160
Isn't it Max Shreck
who manipulated and betrayed you?
999
01:39:58,327 --> 01:40:00,496
Isn't it Max, not Chip...
1000
01:40:00,954 --> 01:40:04,500
who you want to see immersed
to his eyeballs in raw sewage?
1001
01:40:09,421 --> 01:40:11,340
Okay, you got a point.
1002
01:40:11,507 --> 01:40:14,426
I'll let the little prince live for now.
1003
01:40:14,593 --> 01:40:16,178
In the duck!
1004
01:40:43,330 --> 01:40:45,123
This is gonna be good...
1005
01:40:46,291 --> 01:40:50,796
to cut down a whole crop
of Gotham's most promising...
1006
01:40:50,963 --> 01:40:52,631
before their prime.
1007
01:40:54,967 --> 01:40:57,719
You ask me, how do I lure them in?
1008
01:41:01,807 --> 01:41:04,434
A little Pied Penguin action.
1009
01:41:06,603 --> 01:41:09,856
And you get to watch them sink...
1010
01:41:10,023 --> 01:41:11,858
into a deep puddle...
1011
01:41:12,025 --> 01:41:15,070
of your industrial byproducts.
1012
01:41:15,487 --> 01:41:18,073
Then you join them.
1013
01:41:42,848 --> 01:41:44,850
[BABY CRYING]
1014
01:41:52,316 --> 01:41:55,193
Would you hurry up
and get those kids loaded already?
1015
01:42:04,494 --> 01:42:06,955
Right this way, kiddies. Come on.
1016
01:42:07,122 --> 01:42:08,332
Come with me.
1017
01:42:09,082 --> 01:42:10,751
[MONKEY SHRIEKING]
1018
01:42:25,057 --> 01:42:26,892
So where are all the children?
1019
01:42:31,229 --> 01:42:33,231
[PENGUIN READING NOTE]
1020
01:42:36,610 --> 01:42:37,861
"Batman."
1021
01:42:39,529 --> 01:42:41,531
[YELLING]
1022
01:42:51,458 --> 01:42:53,585
My dear penguins...
1023
01:42:54,628 --> 01:42:57,255
we stand on a great threshold.
1024
01:42:58,465 --> 01:43:00,425
It's okay to be scared.
1025
01:43:01,218 --> 01:43:03,428
Many of you won't be coming back.
1026
01:43:04,054 --> 01:43:08,100
Thanks to Batman, the time has come...
1027
01:43:08,558 --> 01:43:10,811
to punish all of God's children.
1028
01:43:12,479 --> 01:43:16,108
First-, second-, third-, and fourth-born!
1029
01:43:16,274 --> 01:43:17,943
Why be biased?
1030
01:43:18,110 --> 01:43:20,153
Male and female!
1031
01:43:20,320 --> 01:43:23,323
Hell, the sexes are equal...
1032
01:43:23,490 --> 01:43:28,120
with their erogenous zones blown sky-high!
1033
01:43:28,286 --> 01:43:30,288
[PENGUINS SQUAWKING]
1034
01:43:30,789 --> 01:43:34,042
Forward march!
1035
01:43:34,793 --> 01:43:37,921
The liberation of Gotham...
1036
01:43:38,088 --> 01:43:40,674
has begun!
1037
01:44:24,676 --> 01:44:26,720
ALFRED:
The penguins are moving above ground.
1038
01:44:52,537 --> 01:44:56,333
POODLE LADY: Penguin army
approaching launch destination...
1039
01:44:56,500 --> 01:44:57,751
at Gotham Plaza.
1040
01:44:58,877 --> 01:45:01,213
One minute until ignition.
1041
01:45:01,379 --> 01:45:03,715
They wouldn't put me on a pedestal...
1042
01:45:03,882 --> 01:45:06,551
so I'm laying them on a slab!
1043
01:45:07,552 --> 01:45:10,055
ALFRED: The penguins seem
to be converging on Gotham Plaza.
1044
01:45:33,328 --> 01:45:36,790
POODLE LADY:
Thirty seconds until ignition.
1045
01:45:37,582 --> 01:45:40,585
Estimated casualties after launch:
1046
01:45:41,378 --> 01:45:43,755
100,000 people.
1047
01:45:45,924 --> 01:45:49,636
The penguins have reached Gotham Square.
1048
01:46:08,530 --> 01:46:11,032
Fifteen seconds to ignition.
1049
01:46:13,118 --> 01:46:14,661
Ready when you are, sir.
1050
01:46:17,664 --> 01:46:19,082
I've got the coordinates.
1051
01:46:19,249 --> 01:46:23,753
POODLE LADY:
Ten, nine, eight, seven....
1052
01:46:27,257 --> 01:46:29,718
- All right. Let's turn them around.
- Yes, sir.
1053
01:46:30,468 --> 01:46:32,470
[FREQUENCY WHINING]
1054
01:46:37,517 --> 01:46:38,643
Something is wrong.
1055
01:46:41,062 --> 01:46:43,398
Something has jammed the signal.
1056
01:46:53,074 --> 01:46:55,410
POODLE LADY:
They seem to be turning around.
1057
01:47:24,230 --> 01:47:25,482
Hey.
1058
01:47:26,483 --> 01:47:29,569
POODLE LADY:
There is also something coming this way.
1059
01:47:30,362 --> 01:47:32,864
Very large. Very fast.
1060
01:47:48,713 --> 01:47:49,839
Who's there?
1061
01:47:57,222 --> 01:47:59,140
I'm homing in on the signal's origin.
1062
01:48:14,447 --> 01:48:16,449
[YELLING]
1063
01:48:48,064 --> 01:48:49,607
[PENGUIN YELLING]
1064
01:49:16,009 --> 01:49:19,012
You're just jealous
because I'm a genuine freak...
1065
01:49:19,179 --> 01:49:21,222
and you have to wear a mask!
1066
01:49:21,806 --> 01:49:23,433
You might be right.
1067
01:49:26,144 --> 01:49:30,106
But what it all comes down to is,
who's holding the umbrella?
1068
01:49:35,612 --> 01:49:37,280
[REMOTE BUZZING]
1069
01:49:56,549 --> 01:49:58,051
My babies!
1070
01:49:58,343 --> 01:49:59,969
[YELLING]
1071
01:50:20,949 --> 01:50:22,951
[BATS SQUEAKING]
1072
01:50:24,828 --> 01:50:26,955
[SCREAMING]
1073
01:50:45,515 --> 01:50:47,142
[MONKEY SHRIEKING]
1074
01:51:34,647 --> 01:51:39,736
I don't know what you want, but I know
I can get it for you with a minimum of fuss.
1075
01:51:41,112 --> 01:51:43,573
Money, jewels...
1076
01:51:43,990 --> 01:51:45,867
a very big ball of string.
1077
01:51:50,288 --> 01:51:52,081
- Your blood, Max.
- My blood?
1078
01:51:52,248 --> 01:51:54,167
I gave at the office.
1079
01:51:54,334 --> 01:51:56,252
CATWOMAN:
A half-pint. I'm talking gallons.
1080
01:51:56,419 --> 01:51:58,296
SHRECK:
Let's make a deal.
1081
01:51:58,463 --> 01:52:00,298
Other than my blood, what can I do for you?
1082
01:52:00,465 --> 01:52:03,176
Sorry, Max. A die for a die.
1083
01:52:14,270 --> 01:52:16,564
You're not just saving a life,
you're saving--
1084
01:52:16,731 --> 01:52:18,274
Shut up. You're going to jail.
1085
01:52:19,400 --> 01:52:23,947
Don't be naive. The law doesn't apply
to people like him or us.
1086
01:52:24,113 --> 01:52:25,823
Wrong on both counts.
1087
01:52:35,875 --> 01:52:37,043
Why are you doing this?
1088
01:52:41,047 --> 01:52:42,966
Let's just take him to the police.
1089
01:52:44,842 --> 01:52:46,177
Then we can go home...
1090
01:52:47,720 --> 01:52:48,888
together.
1091
01:52:49,305 --> 01:52:50,515
[WHIP CRACKS]
1092
01:52:54,894 --> 01:52:55,937
Selina...
1093
01:52:59,232 --> 01:53:00,692
don't you see?
1094
01:53:02,026 --> 01:53:03,069
We're the same.
1095
01:53:05,863 --> 01:53:07,156
We're the same.
1096
01:53:08,741 --> 01:53:11,494
Split, right down the center.
1097
01:53:32,056 --> 01:53:34,350
Selina, please.
1098
01:53:36,060 --> 01:53:37,228
Bruce...
1099
01:53:38,062 --> 01:53:41,733
I would love to live with
you in your castle...
1100
01:53:43,693 --> 01:53:45,903
forever, just like in a fairy tale.
1101
01:53:52,160 --> 01:53:55,830
I just couldn't live with myself.
So don't pretend this is a happy ending.
1102
01:53:55,997 --> 01:53:57,123
Selina.
1103
01:53:58,624 --> 01:53:59,876
Selina Kyle.
1104
01:54:01,419 --> 01:54:02,712
You're fired.
1105
01:54:03,254 --> 01:54:05,173
And Bruce Wayne...
1106
01:54:05,340 --> 01:54:07,133
why are you dressed up like Batman?
1107
01:54:07,300 --> 01:54:10,470
Because he is Batman, you moron.
1108
01:54:11,054 --> 01:54:12,096
Was.
1109
01:54:14,849 --> 01:54:16,017
Don't.
1110
01:54:16,184 --> 01:54:19,604
You killed me, the Penguin killed me,
Batman killed me.
1111
01:54:19,771 --> 01:54:22,982
That's three lives down.
You got enough in there to finish me off?
1112
01:54:23,149 --> 01:54:24,650
One way to find out.
1113
01:54:28,279 --> 01:54:30,531
Four, five.
1114
01:54:34,285 --> 01:54:35,828
Still alive!
1115
01:54:38,873 --> 01:54:40,541
[SELINA GROANING]
1116
01:54:45,129 --> 01:54:47,173
Six, seven.
1117
01:54:47,590 --> 01:54:50,218
All good girls go to heaven.
1118
01:54:50,635 --> 01:54:51,969
[GUN CLICKS]
1119
01:54:53,304 --> 01:54:54,972
[LAUGHING]
1120
01:54:56,307 --> 01:54:57,975
Two lives left.
1121
01:55:00,144 --> 01:55:02,605
I think I'll save one for next Christmas.
1122
01:55:05,149 --> 01:55:07,068
But in the meantime...
1123
01:55:08,945 --> 01:55:11,072
how about a kiss, Santie Claus?
1124
01:55:57,785 --> 01:55:59,787
[WHEEZING]
1125
01:56:42,205 --> 01:56:45,666
Shit! I picked a cute one.
1126
01:56:48,961 --> 01:56:51,088
The heat's getting to me.
1127
01:56:52,048 --> 01:56:54,717
I'll murder you momentarily.
1128
01:56:56,886 --> 01:56:58,262
But first...
1129
01:56:58,763 --> 01:57:01,182
I need a cool drink...
1130
01:57:01,599 --> 01:57:03,893
of ice water.
1131
01:58:45,244 --> 01:58:46,495
Alfred, stop the car.
1132
01:59:13,564 --> 01:59:14,732
[CAT MEOWING]
1133
02:00:07,702 --> 02:00:11,455
Well, come what may,
merry Christmas, Mr. Wayne.
1134
02:00:12,665 --> 02:00:13,999
Merry Christmas, Alfred.
1135
02:00:16,168 --> 02:00:17,503
"Goodwill toward men."
1136
02:00:20,506 --> 02:00:21,549
And women.
83002
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