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1
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,008
- Hey, Jocelyn, uh,
2
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,844
would you ever tag me
in one of your videos?
3
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:13,596
I'd love to get more followers.
- I'll do it for 50 bucks.
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,765
- Whoa, Whitney,
you look like shit.
5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,392
- Uh, sorry, I didn't realize
6
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,602
this dorm meeting
was a formal event.
7
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,020
- No, it's amazing.
8
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,689
You look like a celebrity
taking out the trash.
9
00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:24,566
I wish I had the confidence
to look that bad.
10
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:26,985
- All right,
my favorite FreshThem.
11
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,112
As you know,
it is Parents' Weekend.
12
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,613
- Yay.
13
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,449
- My juggling group will be
performing at the brunch,
14
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,993
if you are looking
for something super fun to do.
15
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,661
- Ooh, Whitney,
I'd love to fit in
16
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,037
a quick TikTok with your mom.
17
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,748
I mean, it is sponsored
by Chex Mix,
18
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,625
so she cannot mention
any other crunchy snack brands.
19
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,795
- All right, look, I get
that my mom is exciting,
20
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,338
but my dad's coming, too.
21
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,757
He's pretty cool.
He's a musician.
22
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,091
- Whoa.
23
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,760
- I can't find him online.
Is he famous?
24
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,554
- He's a very well respected
bassist in the Bay Area.
25
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,347
- Well, if your mom
wasn't a senator,
26
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:57,974
that would probably be cooler.
27
00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:00,643
- Frude, I'm just gonna
jump in here for a second.
28
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,312
Um, before our families arrive,
29
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,189
I think we should
all quickly share any lies
30
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,316
we've told them that we'd like
each other to corroborate.
31
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,067
- Oh, hell, yes.
Yes, that's smart.
32
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,487
- Finally, an actual reason
to have one of these meetings.
33
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,863
- Hey.
- I'll start.
34
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,740
My parents think
I'm a neuroscience major,
35
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,033
which I'm clearly not.
36
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:17,160
Also, they think
I've washed my sheets.
37
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,661
- I told my dad
that all of our textbooks
38
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,038
come from Net-a-Porter,
39
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:21,331
and that is
why he's getting charges.
40
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,791
- Oh, good one.
41
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,501
- My parents think I go
to church every weekend.
42
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,503
I made up a priest.
His name is Father Steve.
43
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,046
And he's guiding me
on my faith journey.
44
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,422
- So good.
45
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,216
- I told my mom I joined
the Young Republicans.
46
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,092
I didn't. I'm just trying
to fuck with her.
47
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,677
But please corroborate.
48
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,638
- My parents
cannot know I'm gay.
49
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,056
- Oh.
- What?
50
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,390
- Might want to change
that shirt.
51
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,851
- All right,
I have about 50 of them.
52
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,144
- Wow.
- All right.
53
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,355
No one mention
my fake ID business
54
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,899
or my OnlyFans or my--
- I am leaving the room.
55
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:51,736
I cannot hear these things,
and I am leaving the room.
56
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:55,532
- ♪ Don't say you were there
when you weren't ♪
57
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,033
♪ 'Cause I don't think ♪
58
00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:59,369
♪ You were there
when I was hurtin' ♪
59
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:03,540
♪ And now I don't know
if I want to come home ♪
60
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,291
♪ No, I don't know... ♪
61
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,043
- [laughs] So I said to Barack,
62
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:08,795
"You cannot break
the glass ceiling
63
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:11,381
without getting
some glass in your eye."
64
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,799
[laughing]
65
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,592
- My mom is so fake,
it's insane.
66
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,053
- I think she's very inspiring.
67
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,722
- Are you wearing,
like, an African dress?
68
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,433
- It's not African.
It's tribal-themed.
69
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,102
I was invited
to the Black Affinity House.
70
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,603
I wanted to show some respect.
71
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,064
- Well, you look like
a Nigerian prom queen.
72
00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:30,817
- Damn it.
- I'm sorry.
73
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,319
- Hey, do you know how fancy
this restaurant
74
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,904
Leighton chose for tonight is?
75
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,698
Some websites are saying
three out of four dollar signs
76
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,408
and others are saying four.
77
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,451
- Uh, yeah, I have no idea.
- Hi.
78
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,413
- [gasps] Senator Chase,
that was incredible.
79
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,747
Representation matters.
- [chuckles]
80
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,457
- I think it was
Frederick Douglass
81
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,459
who once said--
- I can't. I'm sorry, I can't.
82
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,462
- Do you mind getting a scone
or something?
83
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,797
- Absolutely.
84
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:56,092
[indistinct chatter]
- [chuckles]
85
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,760
Is that girl wearing
a dashiki?
86
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,387
- She is.
- Mm.
87
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,431
- Uh, hey, Mom, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
88
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,932
It's kind of personal.
89
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,518
- Well, can we do it Sunday
between 3:30 and 4:30?
90
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,021
I have a board meeting, and
then I have to cut the ribbon
91
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,940
for a new all-gender bathroom
at the business school.
92
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,442
- You know what? Never mind.
93
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,402
I'll just see you
at the restaurant, whatever.
94
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,821
- Thanks, honey,
for being so flexible.
95
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,866
[indistinct chatter]
96
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:22,869
[pop music]
97
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:26,581
♪ ♪
98
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,875
- No, no, no!
99
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,169
Guys, we got to throw
the leaves much higher.
100
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,047
They got to explode up
into the air, okay?
101
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:35,715
- Dad, can we please stop,
all right?
102
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,133
This is so embarrassing.
103
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,302
- Honey, this picture
is very important to me.
104
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,220
I have dreamed of us
being an Essex family
105
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,347
since you were a baby.
106
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,973
Come on,
I want it to be perfect.
107
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,309
- What about the student-loan
protest behind us?
108
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,978
- [sighs] We're lucky
to even have student loans.
109
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:52,190
I don't know. Maybe I can scrub
it out later, okay?
110
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:53,733
Let's just go again
real fast
111
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,777
before the sun goes
behind the library tower.
112
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:58,655
Okay, everybody
get 30% more leaves.
113
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:02,408
30%, these are artisanal
foliage, very expensive.
114
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,620
Big smiles, perfect family,
perfect family.
115
00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:08,039
- Holy shit.
116
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,084
- Here we go.
117
00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:14,253
- Leighton, pay attention.
118
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,214
My facialist begged me
to stay out of the sun.
119
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:17,465
- Sorry.
120
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,175
- Protect Mommy's face.
Here we go.
121
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,970
Three, two, one, leaves.
[camera shutter clicking]
122
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,138
Perfect. That's the one.
That's the one.
123
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:27,517
- I think we did it.
- That's my shit right there.
124
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,436
Yes!
Perfect New England family!
125
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,481
[moody rock music]
126
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:34,983
♪♪
127
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,986
- So this is my absolute
favorite class.
128
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,196
It's called
biochemistry and biophysics.
129
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,365
It meets twice a week,
but, honestly, it's so fun,
130
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,367
I wish it met three times.
131
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,245
- Seems so impressive, beta.
132
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,206
So many smart-looking boys.
133
00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:52,250
- Yeah, these are my people.
134
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,501
- Good afternoon.
135
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,962
It's nice to see
the parental elements
136
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:59,048
that combined to create
the student compounds.
137
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,300
- [laughing]
- Dad, cool it.
138
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,344
- He's a very funny man.
139
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,389
[jazzy piano music]
140
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,809
♪ ♪
141
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,894
- Don't scratch that car.
142
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,563
[chuckles]
143
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,441
- Dad, you're not gonna be
a dick to Whitney's mom, right?
144
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:19,068
No one needs Sean Hannity
at dinner tonight.
145
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,945
- No, I'm not gonna be a dick.
146
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,573
I'm only gonna ask
about her insane stance
147
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,074
on inheritance tax.
148
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,286
- So this is the nicest
restaurant near campus?
149
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,329
- So sorry it's not
the Polo Lounge.
150
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,749
- It's just so earnest.
151
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,625
- Mom, it's good, chill.
152
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,669
Leight, you picked
a great place.
153
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,880
- I love how unpretentious
you are, Nicholas.
154
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,882
Oh, and you've gotten so built
since you've been here.
155
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,467
I hardly recognize you.
156
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:43,968
- Still doesn't make it
any more socially acceptable
157
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,428
that you want
to have sex with him.
158
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,221
- Leighton Murray.
- Jesus Christ, Leighton.
159
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,765
- Please don't suggest
160
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,391
that your mom wants
to have sex with your brother.
161
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,851
- It's disgusting.
162
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,686
Plus, Nico could do
so much better than me.
163
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,646
- Yes.
- Let's just find our table.
164
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,066
- Wonderful.
165
00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,108
- Hi.
166
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,736
[indistinct chatter]
167
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,614
- Oh, there's my girl.
- Hi.
168
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:08,284
- [laughs]
Ah!
169
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:12,246
All right, uh,
you're wearing this?
170
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,626
- I mean, it's on my body,
so, yes.
171
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,044
- Well, you know what?
172
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:21,214
With this figure,
you could pull off anything.
173
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,299
[chuckles]
174
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:25,718
Your dad's not here yet.
175
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,429
You can stay out here
if you want to.
176
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:35,603
♪ ♪
177
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,276
- Oh, no.
178
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,030
I was so worried
about underdressing
179
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:47,573
that we overdressed.
180
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,493
- Nonsense.
We look festive.
181
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,744
Come on.
182
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:57,500
- Hi.
- Sorry we're late.
183
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,503
- Are you going to an event
after this?
184
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,798
- Um, we're only attending
this dinner.
185
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,758
- Well, I think
they look great.
186
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,009
Well, welcome.
187
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,011
They're excited to be here
as am I.
188
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,098
I told my security,
unless the president is dead,
189
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,183
do not interrupt me.
190
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,353
[awkward laughter]
191
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:23,693
- I brought little surprise
gifts for the girls.
192
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,111
Here you go.
193
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,572
The elderly woman
across the street makes them,
194
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,949
keeps her dementia
at bay, so...
195
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:33,828
- Thank you, Ms. Finkle.
- Sure. They're purse hooks.
196
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:37,165
You hang 'em, then our bags
never have to touch the ground.
197
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,083
[laughs]
198
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,210
- Bela, you should invent
something like this,
199
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,920
like that woman
who invented the underwear
200
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,006
that pulls your stomach in.
201
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:46,465
She's very rich.
202
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:49,010
- Mm, yeah, I've invested.
I'll tell you that.
203
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:52,305
- Evette, can I just say what
an honor it is to meet you?
204
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:54,432
- Thank you.
205
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:56,726
- May I ask--
did you fly here private
206
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,312
or first-class
on the taxpayers' dollar?
207
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,272
- Dad.
- [laughs]
208
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:04,150
I actually do fly private
because of the death threats.
209
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,903
You must know what it's like
to have people want you dead.
210
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,738
[laughter]
211
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,908
- That's great, that's great.
Beautiful and funny.
212
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,409
Oh, I'm sorry,
213
00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:16,078
I forgot it's a crime to give
a woman compliments now.
214
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,748
- Well, when I hear one,
I'll let you know. [laughs]
215
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,791
- Super chilly outside,
isn't it?
216
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,376
- Yeah, how cold
do we all think it is?
217
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:25,421
Mom, do you want to guess?
- Oh, jeez, I'd love to.
218
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:26,422
- Okay.
219
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:32,345
♪ ♪
220
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,722
- "Price upon request."
221
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,933
They never do that
when it's cheap, do they?
222
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,101
[chuckles]
- Is this place okay, Kimberly?
223
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,270
- This is a lovely choice,
Leighton.
224
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,356
- If everyone's ready,
I'll flag down the waiter.
225
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:45,024
- Yes.
- Oh, sorry.
226
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,318
I think we're still waiting
for my dad, if that's okay.
227
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:48,653
- I mean, did he give an ETA?
228
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:51,280
- Oh, I'm sure
he'll be here very soon.
229
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,950
♪ ♪
230
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,035
- This bread is so pretty.
231
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,412
I'm gonna take a picture
for your dad.
232
00:08:58,496 --> 00:08:59,580
He loves art.
233
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,131
- Yay!
That's a good one.
234
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,300
- Um, everyone, well,
235
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,595
I'd like to say what a delight
it is to see all of you again.
236
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:18,391
And so, to that end,
I will be treating tonight.
237
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:21,936
- Oh, that's so generous.
Thank you so much.
238
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,272
- No, no, we should split it.
- Oh, Mr. Malhotra,
239
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:25,856
it really seems
like he would like to pay.
240
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:29,068
- I cannot allow that.
- No, just let him pay!
241
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,320
♪ ♪
242
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,322
- I actually insist
we split it.
243
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,241
Legally any gift or meal
244
00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:38,327
that I receive over $50
is considered a bribe.
245
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,829
- Okay.
246
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:43,165
- Just so you know, the purse
hooks were under $50.
247
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,834
- [sighs]
- Are you okay?
248
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,043
- Yeah.
249
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,170
- You're just scratching
your neck a lot.
250
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,172
- It's fine. It's hives.
It's normal.
251
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,799
Excuse me.
252
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,763
I get it, my hives
are disgusting.
253
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,849
I think this dress
is making it worse.
254
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,643
- Take my credit card
for your share of dinner?
255
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,395
- No.
- You are clearly stressed out
256
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:05,688
about how much it costs.
257
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,398
All right, I feel terrible.
258
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,567
- Then why did you choose
such an expensive restaurant?
259
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,152
There are things on this menu
260
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:12,862
that cost more than
my mom's plane ticket here.
261
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,280
- Just please take my card.
262
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,198
Okay, my parents
won't even notice it
263
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,868
on the statement, really,
just...
264
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,369
please.
265
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:25,207
- Thank you, Leighton.
266
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,295
♪ ♪
267
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:30,588
- Everything good?
- Mm-hmm.
268
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:33,341
- I'm sorry.
We really need to order.
269
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,217
My wife's blood sugar
is spiking.
270
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,011
- It's true. I could faint.
271
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,888
Maybe Nico could catch me
with those strong arms.
272
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,599
- Mom, chill.
Just have some bread.
273
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,476
- I'm having bread.
- Stop it.
274
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,102
- Why would you tell me
to stop it?
275
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,729
- Please stop it.
You're embarrassing yourself.
276
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,190
- I'm embarrassing no one.
- It is Parents' Weekend.
277
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:51,192
- It is Parents' Weekend,
so act like a parent.
278
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:52,735
- What is that
supposed to mean?
279
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:53,944
- You know what it means.
280
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,655
Let's get
to the important stuff.
281
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,325
Your love lives.
- [chuckles] Oh.
282
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,951
- Who has a boyfriend?
283
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,371
- Mom, we've literally
been here for, like, six weeks.
284
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,039
- Whitney, you're gorgeous.
285
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,999
I'm sure someone's
caught your eye.
286
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,376
- Not really.
287
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,544
I'm too busy with soccer
to have a boyfriend.
288
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:13,798
- Oh, boo.
[cell phone vibrates]
289
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,841
- Oh, excuse me.
I have to take this.
290
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,968
Can you order my dad
the rack of lamb?
291
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,304
He'll be here so soon.
- Yeah, of course.
292
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,764
- Thankfully for us,
293
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,767
Bela has never been
too distracted by boys.
294
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:28,312
[laughter]
295
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,480
- What's so funny?
296
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,524
- Bela is the biggest--
297
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,192
- Bookworm.
298
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,111
I'm always studying.
299
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:39,407
- The Asian way--
that's very smart of you.
300
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,493
Kimberly, what about you?
Are you dating anyone?
301
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:45,121
- Oh, no, I don't have
a dating--a boyfriend.
302
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,455
I'm not dating a boyfriend.
303
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,083
- Oh, your nerves
say otherwise.
304
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:52,586
- Are you seeing someone?
- No, I'm definitely not.
305
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,380
- Mom, stop badgering them.
306
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,757
Maybe they don't want to
discuss their private lives
307
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,592
with you, huh?
- I'm ordering.
308
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,344
- Hey, are you
at the train station?
309
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,138
I can take Mom's car
and come get you.
310
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,973
- Honey, I'm in San Jose.
311
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,225
- You're in San Jose? Why?
312
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:07,977
- Actually, pretty exciting.
313
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,646
The Barbary Coast needed
a bassist to fill in tonight,
314
00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:11,689
and I said, yes.
315
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:13,149
- But it's Parents' Weekend.
316
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,901
- I know, honey.
I wish I could be there.
317
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,195
- But, Dad...
318
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,864
Are you serious?
319
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:23,993
- Honey, I just want to make
something of myself.
320
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,162
- Uh, I'm happy for you.
321
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:27,997
- I love you.
322
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:28,998
- Love you, too.
323
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,416
- Have fun.
324
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,043
♪ ♪
325
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,503
[toilet flushes]
326
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,839
- [sighs] Kimberly
and her mother are so sweet.
327
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:41,594
Bless their hearts.
And this sad little thing--
328
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,012
- Mom, that was a gift.
329
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,763
At least wrap it
in a paper towel or something
330
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,182
before you throw it
in the trash.
331
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:47,433
- Whatever, isn't it funny
332
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:49,185
how the ones
with the cheapest purses
333
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,854
are always the most concerned
about getting them dirty?
334
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,273
- Okay, I get it, all right?
You hate my roommates.
335
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,816
Great, let's move on.
336
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,693
- Oh, I don't hate them.
They're just--
337
00:12:57,776 --> 00:13:00,613
they're not as sophisticated
as your friends back home,
338
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:03,574
and you have to admit
these girls are quirky.
339
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:04,950
- [scoffs]
As quirky as you?
340
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,995
An anorexic housewife
who shoplifts?
341
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,250
Mom, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean--
342
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,878
- You think you are so much
better than me,
343
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,840
but, sweetheart,
you and I are exactly the same.
344
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:29,808
♪ ♪
345
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,937
- Wow, Carol, thank you.
346
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,648
This is so convenient.
Thank you so much.
347
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,566
- You're welcome.
348
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,568
- Wait, this shit
actually works
349
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,905
- Yeah, Mrs. Pratt says
it can hold up to 45 pounds.
350
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,573
- Yes!
351
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,576
- Well, not to be
a nagging parent,
352
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,912
but what is everyone
majoring in?
353
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,081
When I went to Stanford,
I was a double major
354
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:55,251
in African American studies
and women's studies.
355
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,462
- [chuckles]
- Is there something funny?
356
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:04,260
- Just all these majors
with "studies" after it--
357
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:08,264
you know, gender studies,
Islamic studies.
358
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,057
Whatever happened
to good old-fashioned degrees,
359
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:14,478
like chem, econ,
history, you know?
360
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,064
- I'm majoring in neuroscience.
361
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,400
- Oh.
- It's my passion.
362
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,569
- Beta,
isn't that Professor Harpin?
363
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,612
You should go to his table
and greet him.
364
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,155
It shows respect.
365
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,032
- I don't want to bother him.
He's with his wife.
366
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,784
What if she's leaving him
or telling him she's gay?
367
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:31,662
That could be hella awkward.
- What nonsense.
368
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,872
Go say hi right now.
369
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,125
- Uh, I will be back.
370
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,379
- Good girl, she's a good girl.
371
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:43,382
[indistinct chatter]
372
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,262
- Hey, Prof, it's Bela
from biochem.
373
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,847
I just want to say,
great lecture today.
374
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,682
Actually,
all your lectures are great,
375
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,892
but today's was a banger.
376
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,644
- Thanks.
377
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,104
- Wonderful lecture today.
378
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:59,732
Nevaan Malhotra, Bela's father.
379
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,859
I wanted to thank you
with something.
380
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:05,154
Show this card
at any Subway restaurant,
381
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,364
and you'll be pleased you did.
382
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,576
- Um, I'm sorry, but I think
there's been a mistake.
383
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:13,704
I pride myself
knowing my students,
384
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,206
and you're not one of them.
385
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:21,337
- Nico, how's French going?
386
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,546
Oh.
387
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,548
- Oh, Kimmy's
taking French, too.
388
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,425
Let me hear something
from you guys.
389
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,802
I want to hear this French.
[Nicholas chuckles]
390
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,979
[laughter]
391
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,402
- Ah, isn't he good?
392
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,155
[laughter]
393
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:51,617
- I wish I understood them,
but I don't!
394
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:56,080
- Who ordered the rack of lamb?
- Oh, uh, just put it here.
395
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:59,500
My father won't be joining us
tonight.
396
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:03,128
- Wait, he's not making
Parents' Weekend?
397
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,130
Oh, sweetheart,
that's horrible.
398
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:08,384
- Oh, it was kind of
a work emergency.
399
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:12,096
- Work emergency?
I thought he was a musician.
400
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,057
- Uh-uh, no.
401
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,018
Look, I do not like
my ex-husband.
402
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,561
He's a flake,
403
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,064
and I don't think he owns one
single button-down shirt,
404
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:25,567
but you do not make
my daughter feel bad about it.
405
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,153
- Evette, I did not--
- It's Senator Chase, Henry.
406
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,530
I saw the little eye-roll
407
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,699
you gave your wife
about my ex-husband.
408
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,242
Don't do that to my kid.
409
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,828
You wait until you get
to the hotel for that shit.
410
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,621
Come on!
411
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,500
- Whitney, I'm so sorry.
412
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,170
- It's okay.
413
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,259
[sighs]
414
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:55,264
♪ ♪
415
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,016
- Reena, may we borrow you
for a family conversation?
416
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:02,020
Bela has something to explain
out back behind the restaurant.
417
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,149
- Excuse me.
418
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:09,028
♪ ♪
419
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,779
- How could you lie
to us like that?
420
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,324
- I can't believe I almost
gave him a golden Subway card.
421
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:15,909
That's unlimited subs.
422
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,786
- I'm sorry, I'm not taking
biochem because I know
423
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,789
what I want to do with my life,
and it's not being a doctor.
424
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,041
I want to be a comedy writer.
- [scoffs]
425
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,710
- And I'm, like,
making progress
426
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:27,254
and pledging a really exclusive
comedy-writing group.
427
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:28,881
And you guys love
the funny stuff.
428
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,216
- I like "Young Sheldon,"
and that is it.
429
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,801
Bela, this school
is very expensive,
430
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,096
and we are paying for you
to study and learn,
431
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,557
not play around.
432
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,850
[sighs]
433
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:43,979
[insects chirping]
434
00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:45,439
- [sighs]
435
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:47,149
- My girlfriends, you know,
they just keep them.
436
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:49,485
My best cook pan, remember,
Peggy had that,
437
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,361
and I never saw it again.
438
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:54,698
So I just cook
in those toss-away tins now.
439
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,200
You should really use
the real lemons,
440
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:59,161
but, you know,
in Arizona, it's offensive.
441
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,830
If you get the thin stuff, it's
gonna burn right through that,
442
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,749
then your top is ruined,
anyway, on the pie.
443
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:05,667
So, well, that's just
one of my tricks.
444
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:10,172
♪ ♪
445
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:13,175
[indistinct chatter]
446
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,303
- Oh, I--
Mm.
447
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,931
- Okay, let's see here.
448
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:21,058
Leighton,
why is your card in here?
449
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:22,643
- Oh, um, I--
450
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:27,189
- It's my card, the Malhotras,
Senator Chase,
451
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:28,857
and yours.
452
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,692
- Wait, we didn't pay?
453
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:37,366
Leighton, why did you pay
for our dinner?
454
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,535
- Oh, um...
455
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,037
it--it--it was
a surprise treat.
456
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,581
- I asked her to.
457
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:50,712
♪ ♪
458
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,340
- [chuckles awkwardly]
459
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,467
It's...
[clears throat]
460
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,095
Silly.
Here you go, Leighton. Sorry.
461
00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,721
- Well, Carol,
don't worry about it.
462
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,099
- No, no, I insist.
- Carol, it's fine.
463
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,685
- I'm paying for our portion...
464
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:08,564
of the bill,
so it's end of discussion.
465
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:16,530
- Ma'am, your card.
466
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,952
- Thank you for saying
that about Dad.
467
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,371
It meant a lot to me
that you defended him,
468
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:27,082
and the look
on Leighton's dad's face--
469
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:28,542
- He was right
about your dad.
470
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:31,837
I'm so sick of making
excuses for him.
471
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,839
I show up, you hate me.
472
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:37,634
He doesn't show up,
you love him.
473
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:41,138
Whitney, one day
you're gonna realize
474
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:45,183
he doesn't deserve
the pedestal you put him on.
475
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:49,229
[moody indie music]
476
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:56,069
♪ ♪
477
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,698
- I'm going to ask the valet
what's taking so long.
478
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:03,327
- [groans] He's so mad.
- Mm, he'll be fine.
479
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:06,663
Bela, I know how much
this dream means to you,
480
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,957
but we need you
to protect your future,
481
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,711
just in case you don't become
the next Amy Schumer.
482
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,671
- I'm impressed
you remembered her name.
483
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,131
- Ha, of course I do.
484
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:18,467
You spent years
watching her videos--
485
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,302
boobs, sex, funny stuff.
486
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:23,347
- Damn, Mom.
487
00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:25,390
- Beta, I cut you a deal.
488
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,059
You promise me
that you will take
489
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,603
that professor's biochemistry
course next semester,
490
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:32,189
and I will work on your father,
491
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:35,651
get him to be
a little more supportive.
492
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,945
- I can do that.
493
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:40,489
Also, I need money
to buy books and underwear.
494
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,075
- I already put an envelope
on your dresser.
495
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:45,535
[laughs]
496
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:49,122
♪ ♪
497
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,041
- [sighs]
498
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:56,129
♪ ♪
499
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:58,674
- I'm sorry if I embarrassed
you at dinner tonight.
500
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,843
- Oh, you mean when you made me
look like a street urchin
501
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,595
in front of the rich people?
502
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,222
[chuckles]
503
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,392
I knew dinner was gonna be
expensive--I'd saved for it.
504
00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:10,018
- I just freaked out.
505
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,938
Fitting in at Essex has been
harder than I expected.
506
00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:15,774
- Speaking of fitting in,
where'd you get that coat?
507
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:18,694
It's not the one I shipped you.
508
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,947
- It's Leighton's.
509
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,991
- Oh, boy.
510
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:27,327
Honey, I am so proud of you
for being here.
511
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,038
And I want you to have
every amazing experience
512
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,289
this place has to offer.
513
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:33,875
I just don't want you
to pretend
514
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,211
to be somebody you're not.
515
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:37,671
- I'm not.
516
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:41,883
- I think you've changed
a little since Move-in Day,
517
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:46,138
and I'm not saying
in a bad way, I'm just...
518
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,015
I'm noticing it.
519
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:51,143
Hey, it's okay.
520
00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,729
Want to walk me back
to the hotel?
521
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:55,147
- Yeah
522
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:59,317
♪ ♪
523
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,654
- All I said was--
524
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,407
- You know, I feel like she's
not here for the right reasons.
525
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,451
And, honestly, neither is she.
526
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:10,996
[indistinct chatter on laptop]
527
00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:13,373
- I think I like you better
than anyone I know.
528
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:16,084
- Oh, no, that is so sad.
529
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,503
We've only known each other
for, like, four weeks.
530
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,589
- Okay, well,
I don't like a lot of people.
531
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:23,258
- Nah, don't compliment me
and then water it down.
532
00:22:23,341 --> 00:22:26,178
I want to feel that
full-blown compliment.
533
00:22:28,346 --> 00:22:30,015
Tell me how you like me.
534
00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:31,933
- No!
- Tell me how you like me!
535
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,935
- Get off me,
you little weirdo!
536
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,354
Come on,
you're pushing my boob!
537
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:39,399
[electronic music]
538
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:46,573
♪ ♪
539
00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:56,792
[knock at door]
540
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:59,169
- That dinner fucking sucked.
541
00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:01,963
- It wasn't that bad.
542
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,591
Like, for what it's worth,
543
00:23:04,674 --> 00:23:09,012
I don't think of you
as poor or anything like that.
544
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,306
- I am, though.
545
00:23:11,389 --> 00:23:15,102
I am kind of poor,
and that's okay.
546
00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,603
I just--
547
00:23:16,686 --> 00:23:19,481
I wish I could still, like...
548
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,858
belong here.
549
00:23:21,942 --> 00:23:24,277
- What, at Essex?
550
00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:26,029
You already do.
551
00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,574
- Thank you.
[chuckles]
552
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:36,748
♪ ♪
553
00:23:52,889 --> 00:23:54,850
- Should we go to your room?
554
00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:58,311
- Actually,
I should probably get to bed.
555
00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:01,690
I want to get a full
eight hours of sleep in.
556
00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:03,275
- Oh, okay.
557
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:04,818
- [chuckles]
558
00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:06,444
I'm kidding.
559
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,446
Let's go.
560
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:17,664
♪ ♪
561
00:25:38,161 --> 00:25:39,246
- Go to bed.
562
00:25:39,296 --> 00:25:43,846
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