All language subtitles for Hold_The_Sunset_S02E04.The Lemming Family.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,350 Dugdale... is interested. 2 00:00:02,351 --> 00:00:03,780 - In the house?! - Yes! 3 00:00:03,781 --> 00:00:06,379 - Really? Did he say that?! - Really! 4 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,720 I'll give you a tour of the upstairs now. 5 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,279 - Oh! - You numpty... 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,919 - You're writing a children's book? - Trying to, yes. 7 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,439 - What's it about? - It's going to be about a family of animals 8 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,319 trying to make sense of everything, 9 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,399 but realising that they haven't got a clue, and never will! 10 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,399 Sounds a bit like us! 11 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,560 Does it? Gosh, no! 12 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:55,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 13 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,439 Did you, er, put up a sign here last time? 14 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:07,679 - I did. - So you just work for the same firm all the time? 15 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,919 I'll work for anyone, I know no shame. 16 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,319 Oh... 'cos this is my third attempt. 17 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,119 - Third agent? - Yeah. 18 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,519 You're just a beginner. 19 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,840 There's plenty more out there. 20 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,760 I look forward to it... 21 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,039 - Morning. - Ah, morning. 22 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,199 Oh... look at you! 23 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,719 You beautiful thing! 24 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,959 He likes to pay his respects. 25 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,399 Oh, dog's graves. 26 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,319 A very old one. 27 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,199 You a church-goer? 28 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,519 - Used to be. - Not any more? 29 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,799 Not until the Church accepts that all animals have souls. 30 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,399 Well, they'd never let us bury our dogs here now. 31 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,639 Soul health and safety, eh? 32 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,239 - Well, you've got a cat. - Deidre. 33 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,800 - With a soul? - Oh, in abundance, yes. 34 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,519 We are far too arrogant about all other species. 35 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:19,039 I mean, we are just another - albeit, very ingenious - animal. 36 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,799 Amen to that. I better mention it to the new estate agent 37 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,399 I spent the morning with. 38 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,119 - Was he difficult? - Pompous! 39 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,959 Pompous in a way that animals never are, you know? 40 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,679 Just too... too self-important to listen. 41 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,600 Yap, yap, yap, yap... 42 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,999 Well, good morning, everyone. Thank you for coming along, 43 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,799 all ready to contribute to the live performing arts, eh? 44 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,959 And nothing could be more live than Methuselah... 45 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,599 the amazing, singing crocodile. 46 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,399 Actually, he's got a terrible voice. He only gets away with it 47 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,679 because of his novelty value, you know? 48 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,239 Anyway, Methuselah's now going to give you a fantastic rendition 49 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,879 of the classic rock song, Good Golly, Miss Molly. 50 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,600 And... go! 51 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:19,719 ♪ Sweet Molly who lives at the foot of the hill... ♪ 52 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,639 No, no. No, no, no. No. Wrong Molly. 53 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:27,039 I'm talking about the classic rock song: Good Golly, Miss Molly. 54 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,559 OK? Go! 55 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,319 I don't do rock and roll, it's beneath me. 56 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,319 Can you believe this?! 57 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,279 - I have my pride. - Just get on with it! 58 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,919 We're going to lose this lovely audience! 59 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:45,039 ♪ In Dublin's fair city where the girls are so pretty ♪ 60 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:48,439 ♪ Twas there I first met with sweet Molly Malone... ♪ 61 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,119 Molly Malone? Who's Molly Malone?! 62 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,999 Would you just get on with it! 63 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,719 ♪ As she drove her wheelbarrow through streets... ♪ 64 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,479 - Would you shut him up?! - I can't. 65 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,799 Once he's made his mind up, I can't. 66 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,399 ♪ Singing cockles and mussels ♪ ♪ Alive, alive, oh ♪ 67 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:07,039 ♪ Alive, alive, oh! Alive, alive, oh! ♪ 68 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,959 ♪ Saying, cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh... ♪ 69 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,279 A-a-a-a-a-rgh-h-h-h... ! 70 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:17,550 Your doctor says 71 00:04:17,551 --> 00:04:20,079 your mother has severe mobility problems, 72 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,559 has almost entirely lost the power of speech, 73 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,519 and is subject to fits of uncontrollable rage. 74 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:26,919 Good grief! 75 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,160 That sounds really bad, doesn't it? 76 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,039 Erm... I mean, when you say it like that... 77 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,919 - I presume you don't have a regular job? - No. 78 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,199 - Erm, I did do, but I had to give it up. - To look after your mother? 79 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,439 Yeah! Yeah... yeah. 80 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,319 ... a-a-a-a-a-a-a-rgh! 81 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,440 ... a-a-a-rgh! 82 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,199 What happened to you? Have you completely lost it? 83 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,839 Mrs Pool. 84 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:05,679 - Who's she? - She's the head honcho from social services. 85 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,439 She was staring at me. 86 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,199 Did she give us anything? 87 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,079 She recognised me from when I pretended that Queenie was my mum, 88 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,999 and I applied to be her carer. 89 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,079 Ah, see, that was another great idea of mine... 90 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,919 ... that you managed to balls up. 91 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,479 I could be prosecuted! What if she thinks I'm sane and normal? 92 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,839 - Roger... nobody is going to think that of you. - Ah... 93 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,879 That's right, yeah, no-one. 94 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,639 No-one's going to think that. 95 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,999 Would you put that damn thing away? 96 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,359 What did we take? 97 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:33,959 ã8.20p. 98 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,999 Stingy sods! 99 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,639 That's not enough for Wendy's alimony, is it? No. 100 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:43,879 Poor Roger! Poor, poor Roger! 101 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,759 Oh, good morning, Mrs Pool! 102 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,439 Helen! Bright and early. 103 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,919 Yes. Well, I came in a bit early 'cos I was hoping to leave a bit... 104 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,199 Not now, Helen. 105 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,999 Maybe later in the day. 106 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,119 We had this middle-aged man here last year, 107 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,799 who wanted to care for his mother, 108 00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:00,279 and as I recall, the family situation was rather complex. 109 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:03,759 I've just seen him by the river, busking with an older man 110 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,559 and this... crocodile, it was rather bothering. 111 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,919 Felicity told me about the crocodile man. 112 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,360 Apparently, that whole family's a bit SCARY. 113 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,599 - This is Edith, my mum. - Hello, Edith! 114 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,879 Roger has to carry me to the lavatory. 115 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,359 Yes. Normally, she's just completely incontinent. 116 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,519 Roger, your mother's insisting she's Queenie, the cleaning lady. 117 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,119 Mum! Don't say that. 118 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,879 I'm not your mum, and I can't honestly say I'm altogether sorry. 119 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,839 Roger, I wonder if care in the home would be adequate in this case? 120 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,039 I think it is. 121 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,079 You see how fickle men are. 122 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,639 When he thinks I'm Edith, he wants to marry me. 123 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,359 When he thinks I'm a cleaning lady, he doesn't. 124 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,399 Night-night, Felicity. 125 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,279 It was because of that family she decided to leave! 126 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,999 That's an excellent example for you of why it's vital for us 127 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,879 to remain impartial. 128 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,039 Compassionate... but impartial. 129 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,959 I know it's not always easy. 130 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,279 Felicity's report has to be here somewhere... 131 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,759 She said they were all a bit quirky. 132 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,879 Quirky? If that was our yardstick for not helping people, 133 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,560 we'd help no-one. Ah, here we are. 134 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,080 Roger Stevens. 135 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,559 Ah... Auntie Joan. 136 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,959 You're still here? 137 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,720 I shall ignore that little jibe. 138 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,759 I've been on my own all day. Where is everybody? 139 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,359 - Out. - Ah. 140 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,919 Shopping, I expect? 141 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,479 There's an awful lot of shopping goes on in this household. 142 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,119 I'm beginning to think your mother's avoiding me. 143 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,679 What would she do that? 144 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,559 Roger, be a good chap. Make a cup of tea? 145 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,119 Some toast? 146 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,679 I'm famished! 147 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,359 - I think I've lost weight since I've been here. - Hm... 148 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:49,599 It's that muesli your mother buys, it's making holes in my stomach. 149 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,999 It's like eating broken crockery. 150 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,279 You found a job yet? 151 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,879 Oh, thanks for asking. 152 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,439 A couple of years in the Army would have sorted you out. 153 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,879 Yeah, I could have a gun to shoot myself with. 154 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,119 Cleaning out the latrines. 155 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,279 A tour of duty... under heavy fire... 156 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,599 ... in some pitiless desert somewhere. 157 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:11,719 Huh! 158 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,079 Hello, who's speaking? 159 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,879 Good morning. My name is Helen Redfern, 160 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,199 I'm calling from the social services department. 161 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,679 - May I speak to Mr Roger Stevens, please? - Mr Stevens isn't here. 162 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,119 He's in Brazil. 163 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,826 - Brazil? - Yeah. Yeah, you know... 164 00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:32,999 where the nuts come from. 165 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,719 But he's just been seen performing in Twickenham? 166 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,759 Er... yeah. That... that... Yes. 167 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,599 But then... he had to go to Brazil... 168 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,399 ... er, urgently. 169 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,839 Erm... oh! What did you want with him? 170 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,519 We've been reviewing Mr Stevens' application to be a carer 171 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:52,839 for his mother, and we've decided that he might after all be eligible. 172 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,519 What? We're looking back at cases where applicants may have been 173 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,479 put off by the bureaucracy, or are reluctant to accept help 174 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,559 because they feel they don't deserve it. 175 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,759 And you think that... that... that Roger might still stand a chance? 176 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,159 Well, subject to further interview, maybe. 177 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:10,999 - Another interview? - Since Mr Stevens is in Brazil... 178 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,919 No, no, no! Wait, wait. Erm... 179 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,679 Oh, yeah! I think he said he's coming back tomorrow. 180 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,000 Let me just check. Yes, definitely. 181 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,039 Tomorrow? 182 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,839 - Yeah, well, it was an emergency visit. - Right, OK. 183 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,680 I'll call again in two days' time. 184 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,919 How did that go? 185 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,720 Erm... 186 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,599 That was Derek. Yeah... Old friend. 187 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,200 Cor, what a joker! 188 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,840 - Roger. - What? 189 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:46,960 Go to the chemist and get me some corn pads. 190 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,520 Corn pads? 191 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,959 Look at this! 192 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,799 - This is Wendy! - Wendy? 193 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,559 Well, she's done it, she's written her book! 194 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,919 - Good Lord! - I TOLD you she'd been going to the zoo, 195 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,359 doing research for a children's book. 196 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,559 - Well, do they have lemmings at the zoo? - Oh, come on! 197 00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,439 Let's go and cheer her on. 198 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,039 They'd have to keep replacing them, wouldn't they? 199 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,919 - Do you read a lot? - Yes. 200 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,079 - What's your name? - Ophelia. 201 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,959 Ophelia... 202 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,999 ... thank you for buying my book. I hope you enjoy it. 203 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,159 And I hope it's not patronising. 204 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,079 Oh, well... I hope it's not, too. 205 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,519 - Is it an allegory? - Well, er... 206 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:41,799 ... probably. 207 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,080 Mm. 208 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,719 Wendy, congratulations! 209 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,799 - Edith! - Phil! 210 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,719 - Very good! Very good indeed. - Thank you. 211 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:56,439 Now, lemmings have got a tendency to commit collective suicide 212 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,279 - by throwing themselves off cliffs, right? - That's what people think. 213 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,199 Well, it's perfect bedtime reading for small children. 214 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,319 - It's a fallacy. - It's not true? 215 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,439 No, they're just migrating in search of food. 216 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,679 They don't go looking for the edge of a cliff on purpose, 217 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:11,719 but if one happens sometimes to lie on their path... 218 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,559 But isn't that a bit of a disappointment 219 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,359 for a bloodthirsty seven-year-old? 220 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,119 Phil, buy several copies. 221 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,039 Oh, no. Phil, don't. It's for kids. 222 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,839 Erm... it's absolutely not for you. 223 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,359 Not at all, so... 224 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,439 Several copies? I don't have any cash. 225 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,879 Well, use your credit card. 226 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,319 Phil, really, honestly, I'll bring a copy round. 227 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,239 - Ah, so you found a publisher? - Yes... 228 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,879 ... me! 229 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,519 You published it? Is that difficult? 230 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,999 Erm, well, not really. Sandra helped me. 231 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,719 Oh! Sandra lent you the money, did she? 232 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,839 - Has she told you? - No, no, I guessed. 233 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,359 - So, did you get a good rate? - Phil. 234 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,079 - Hm? - Buy ten copies. 235 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,679 - Ten?! - Yes, Christmas presents. Absolutely perfect! 236 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,279 - But we've just had Christmas... - Yes, well, there's another one 237 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,759 - just around the corner. - Oh, yes, that's true. 238 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,519 Yes, I forgot about that one. All right... 239 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,119 Wendy, this is wonderful! 240 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,999 - I'm so impressed. I do hope it goes well for you. - Oh! 241 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,199 Thank you, Edith. Yes... 242 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,600 - ... JK Rowling, watch out! - Ooh! 243 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,999 - Good grief! - What is it? 244 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,439 Well, this is all about us. 245 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,919 - I thought it was about lemmings? - No, no, no. It's about us, 246 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:26,359 extremely thinly disguised as Mr and Mrs Lemming. 247 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:31,039 Listen, "Evie and Bill Lemming decide to move to somewhere 248 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,279 warm and sunny where the kitchen isn't damp." 249 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,239 My kitchen isn't damp! 250 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,119 Well, that's poetic licence. 251 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,799 "The return of the prodigal. 252 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,059 Podger Lemming, the most unreliable member of the family, 253 00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:48,359 leaves his wife and children and goes back to live with his mum, Evie." 254 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,119 Good heavens! 255 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,959 And it goes on. Look, this is a serious bit, er... 256 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,439 "Podger Lemming, with the help of his dodgy friend, 257 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:59,279 Baz the Burglar Lemming, tries to cheat the social services 258 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,120 and become a carer for his mother, who doesn't need one." 259 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,879 - She doesn't have much imagination, does she? - No, no... 260 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,999 But what if the social services get wind of this? 261 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,999 - Do you think she's done it on purpose? - Well, it's possible. 262 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,359 I mean, Roger does bring out 263 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,519 the most primitive urges for retribution. 264 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,599 - What are we going to do? - Well, hire a lawyer, spend a fortune 265 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,619 and get nowhere, or... 266 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,799 ... do nothing and hope that the Lemming Family 267 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,519 just sinks without trace. 268 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,599 Which is probably what will happen, because, thankfully, it's... 269 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,959 ... REALLY badly written. 270 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,599 Do they all run off a cliff in the end? 271 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,199 Sadly, no. 272 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,599 Oh, why did she have to do this? Why couldn't it be a nice, 273 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,599 little children's book about penguins and kittens and butterflies? 274 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,479 I don't know. 275 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,359 Still, on a cheerier note, I've had an offer on the house. 276 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,519 Really?! Phil! From Jack Dugdale? 277 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,479 No, no. But full asking price. 278 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,839 The trouble is, there's a chain. 279 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,039 - But still, it's an offer. Things could be on the up! - Yeah. 280 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,039 Yeah. The only thing we have to do now... 281 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,839 ... is to get rid of your sister. 282 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,839 I mean, if I killed her, maybe Wendy could write a whodunnit about it. 283 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,119 No, it wouldn't work, too many suspects. 284 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,239 Oh, the trouble with Joan is she doesn't want to be on her own. 285 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,359 She couldn't cope. Not any more. 286 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:16,799 Neither can we. 287 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,439 Not after six weeks. 288 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,959 I know. 289 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,319 First, Roger... 290 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,799 ... then Joan, then a plague of lemming. 291 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,039 Darling, we've got to escape... 292 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,640 ... before the waters close in over our heads. 293 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,359 Mum... I've some good news! 294 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,359 Have you, dear? Where's Joan? 295 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,839 Oh, she went back to bed. 296 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,479 Erm, she thinks you're trying to kill her off with inferior muesli. 297 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,279 Oh for goodness' sake! 298 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,599 Muesli would not be MY weapon of choice. 299 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,599 I'd make her a nice barbed-wire omelette. 300 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,679 The good news is... I got a call from the social services office. 301 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,639 Oh, no! What about? 302 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,399 Well, they've decided, after all, that I might be eligible 303 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,799 - to be a carer. - What? 304 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,639 A carer? What, for me?! 305 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,279 Yes, well, they're trying to encourage people who might 306 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,759 otherwise be ashamed to ask. 307 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,919 Well, that hardly applies to you, does it? 308 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,399 It's out of the question. We are not going through all that again! 309 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,039 You'd be languishing somewhere at Her Majesty's pleasure 310 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,239 if it wasn't for us. 311 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,319 Well, they got in touch with me, I didn't do anything. 312 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,519 No! The answer is no. 313 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,839 Well, they're coming round to see us on Friday morning. 314 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,839 - You invited them? - They insisted. 315 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:43,199 Look, if you're determined to pursue a career as a professional liar, 316 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,199 then at least try to make SOME of your lies slightly credible. 317 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,559 That would get you off to a really good start 318 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,519 - Call them back and tell them. - Tell them what? 319 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,599 Tell them your mother doesn't need a carer, and she's not prepared to 320 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,639 lie about it on your behalf! 321 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,219 - And she doesn't need one. - Well, she doesn't have to... 322 00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:00,275 ... Queenie'll do that. 323 00:16:00,276 --> 00:16:02,119 - Queenie? - Queenie's involved?! 324 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,879 Yeah, I gave her a call, she's coming round. 325 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,719 - Oh! - Look... 326 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,479 - Listen... - No! 327 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,519 And take that jigsaw off the table! 328 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,599 - It's a Van Gogh! - I don't care what it is, it can't stay there. 329 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,679 - Well, we can put a cloth over it. - No, we can't. 330 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,399 Well, it's too big to put anywhere else. 331 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,279 Then you shouldn't have got it! 332 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,879 Well, I didn't know it was going to be this big! 333 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,399 - He went mad, you know? - What?! 334 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,425 Van Gogh, he went mad. 335 00:16:24,426 --> 00:16:26,639 Is it any wonder? 336 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,239 I got an SOS from Roger. What's up? 337 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,759 - What, he hasn't told you? - Sounded like good news. 338 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,319 Social services have come back, they want to make me a carer. 339 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,039 I'm not impersonating Edith again, if that's what you're thinking. 340 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,519 Thank you, Queenie. 341 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,519 Listen, it... it wouldn't be for long, half an hour at most. 342 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,839 - No! - But they're on my side this time! 343 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,039 It'll be like pushing at an open door. 344 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,559 You've got to admire his sheer, dogged denial of reality, 345 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,119 haven't you, yeah, this... 346 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,239 ... pure boneheadedness. It's a rare quality. 347 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,439 It's fraud! 348 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,119 Mum... Mum, I need the income! 349 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,399 I'm paying alimony, it's a... it's a killer. 350 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,759 This would be perfect! 351 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,439 - Don't be daft, Roger. - Out of the question. 352 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,679 - Hello, Queenie. - Oh, hello, Joan. 353 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,479 - How are you? - Dreadful. I don't know why I bother. 354 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,199 Nobody else seems to. 355 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,679 Oh! 356 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,399 Van Gogh. Didn't he cut his ear off? 357 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,079 Yes, he did. Do you know anything else about it? 358 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,799 Should I? 359 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,759 Corn pads, two packs. 360 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,279 Oh... and some laxatives. Just mention my name. 361 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,479 I'll be watching the telly. Not that there's anything TO watch. 362 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,692 I don't know why they took the sheep dog trials off, 363 00:17:34,693 --> 00:17:36,239 I used to love that. 364 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:37,679 Edith... 365 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,919 ... let me know if I can give you any advice on how to turn 366 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,199 all that shopping into something... 367 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,560 ... edible. 368 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,040 Mum... please. 369 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,400 All right. We'll do it. 370 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,999 - Do what? - Have the social services back. 371 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,839 - What?! - Roger needs a job! 372 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,319 Oh, thank you! 373 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:08,039 - Edith! - Are you sure, Edith? 374 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,040 I'm sure. Quite, quite sure. 375 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,400 - You've read all the case notes? - Several times. 376 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,279 And... try and participate a bit more this time, Helen. 377 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,399 Make a contribution. 378 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,200 Righty-ho. 379 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,119 I'm Vivian Pool from social services, 380 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,839 and this is my assistant, Helen. 381 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,999 And I'm Queenie Gale, the cleaning lady. 382 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,639 And, sometimes, Mrs Stephens. 383 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,960 No. Come in. 384 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,559 Vivian and Helen from social services. 385 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,199 Hello. I'm Edith, Roger's mother. 386 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,959 Oh, as well? 387 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,039 His actual mother. The real one. 388 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,119 - And this is Roger. - Hello. 389 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,599 I expect you're very tired, and it must be a bit cold for you. 390 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,639 - What? - After Brazil? 391 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:12,359 Oh, yes. Er... yes, yes, it is bit. Yes, after Brazil! 392 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,119 This is Phil Parton. 393 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,239 My very good friend and Edith's intended! 394 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,959 Not my intended, no. 395 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,159 That was over once he took to the paper bags. 396 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,839 Please sit down. Tea, coffee? 397 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,239 - Tea, thank you. - I'll get it. 398 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,279 Joan, would you turn that off and come over and say hello 399 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,080 - to Vivian and Helen? - If you insist. 400 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,799 Nothing worth watching, anyway. 401 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,879 This is my sister, Joan. 402 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:45,159 Joan, this is Vivian and Helen from social services. 403 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,279 Well, I hope you've come to stay. 404 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,919 This house is like a morgue most of the time, everyone out shopping. 405 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,999 Phil? Roger? 406 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,160 Vivian and I would like a quiet chat on our own. 407 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,799 Hold on, Phil. 408 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,960 No, this way. Yeah... 409 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,079 Oh, dear. 410 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,039 And duck... yep. 411 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,759 - Joan, could you go and give Queenie a hand? - A hand? 412 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,680 In the kitchen. 413 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,400 Right... 414 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,319 What's going on in there? They're taking their time. 415 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,799 Mum seemed a bit strained... 416 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,399 ... don't you think? 417 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,439 - Funny, her changing her mind like that. - Yeah... 418 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,719 - ... not like her at all. - Oh. 419 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,320 Ah, Queenie. 420 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,879 - It's fixed. - Fixed? 421 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,919 You're a carer. 422 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,359 - I'm a carer? - You're kidding. 423 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:58,119 - No, it's official. - Good Lord. 424 00:20:58,120 --> 00:20:59,599 Wow! 425 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,119 Yeah. Thanks to your mum. 426 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:04,719 You better make a decent job of it. 427 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,800 - Let's not set the bar TOO high. - No. 428 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,479 Ah, well done, Roger. 429 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,439 Oh! Er... thanks. 430 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,919 There's a bit of paperwork to do, you'll be getting a letter. 431 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,759 - Oh, a letter? - Nothing very complicated. 432 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,239 Thank you, Edith. Thank you very, very much. 433 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,439 Thank YOU, Vivian. 434 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,199 - Goodbye, Joan. - Yes, thank you. 435 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,479 - Queenie. - Bye! 436 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,239 Mr Parton. 437 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,879 Goodbye... Mr Parton. 438 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,359 Ta-ta! 439 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,719 Mum! You did it! 440 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,519 Joan, switch that off. 441 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,639 It's just for a trial period. 442 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,719 - Oh. - Yes, but if you're satisfactory, 443 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,999 there's no reason it can't be extended. 444 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,839 That's fantastic! 445 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,199 Oh, yeah, what about pay? 446 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,519 Ooh, well, not a lot... 447 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,519 ... but it'll help if you're careful. 448 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,359 I'll top it up, if necessary. 449 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:02,800 - You'll do that? - Yes. 450 00:22:02,801 --> 00:22:04,079 Why would you do that? 451 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:08,239 Because I'm naturally a very giving and generous person. 452 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,600 Ha! Yeah, but... 453 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,279 No, no. No, hang on... 454 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,160 No. Wait... wait a minute. 455 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,279 No. 456 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,360 Mum! 457 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,799 He's grinning. That's bad. 458 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,319 That... that... that's very bad. 459 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,079 No. Please, Mum. No. 460 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,519 Mum! 461 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,759 You didn't think you'd get away with being a carer for ME, did you?! 462 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,519 Not for Auntie Joan! Please! 463 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,519 This is known as a comeuppance. 464 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,039 With knobs on. 465 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,759 It'll do you good, Roger. 466 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,039 No, it won't! I can't do it. 467 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:46,639 Never. My destiny is not shopping for corn pads! 468 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,680 Then, we're off to a good start. 469 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,119 Just be careful with that, there's breakables in there. 470 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:06,940 - Breakables? - Yes, my picture frames, 471 00:23:06,941 --> 00:23:09,439 my Royal Worcester china. 472 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,039 I didn't realise I'd brought so much, 473 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,999 you must have thought I was coming for months! 474 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,600 Ha! Wouldn't you! 475 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,199 Mum... 476 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,039 Roger, it's for the best. 477 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,879 Give it a try. Surprise us. 478 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,040 Oh... Oh. 479 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,000 Send us a card. 480 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,560 Just the one. 481 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,319 Absolute genius! 482 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,079 Oh, you're brilliant! 483 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,079 Two birds with one stone. 484 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,159 I love you to bits. 485 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,639 - Fingers crossed. - Give me a kiss. 486 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,559 - Edith! - Queenie! 487 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,975 - Right on cue. - You just missed them. 488 00:23:56,976 --> 00:23:58,039 No, it's not that. 489 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,959 Switch the telly on, Wendy's on, any minute. 490 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,680 What? 491 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,759 I felt like I wanted to set myself the challenge of trying to write 492 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,399 a book that would engage children, but I do think 493 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:16,359 that we have to accept that our children are hooked on smartphones 494 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:20,079 and their computer games. I know mine are. 495 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,959 But they're never going to stop reading stories that they can 496 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,451 - really relate to. - Yes. 497 00:24:25,452 --> 00:24:26,679 Which happily seems to be the case with 498 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,759 your new book: The Lemming Family. 499 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,679 Which has just been awarded the prestigious Prendergast prize 500 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,199 for children's literature. Wendy Stephens. 501 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,959 Good God! 502 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,399 - That's wonderful. - Clever girl. 503 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,159 And do stay with us, Wendy, as we turn to a related subject 504 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,159 of funding for school libraries. 505 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,018 We're joined by Ken Burfield from the Internet Education Trust. 506 00:24:48,019 --> 00:24:49,505 - Hello. - And Vivian Pool 507 00:24:49,506 --> 00:24:51,959 who, in addition to her role as regional director 508 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,959 of social services, also chairs 509 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,759 the Children's Educational Needs Foundation. 510 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,319 - Thank you both for coming in today. - My pleasure. 511 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,239 May I just congratulate Wendy? 512 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,639 - Oh, thank you. - I haven't read your book yet, Wendy, 513 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,999 but I most certainly will. I'm looking forward to it. 514 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,319 Well, it's really for children. 515 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,079 Mr Burfield... 516 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,359 We're sunk, aren't we? 517 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,359 - That's it, we're sunk. - Why? 518 00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,719 Well, it's all in there, it's all in the book, isn't it? 519 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:22,520 I mean, Roger's conspiracy, our attempt to, sort of, cover it up! 520 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,359 I can see the headlines! 521 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:26,599 Lemming-gate! 522 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,400 - A-a-a-agh! - Oh... 523 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:35,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 39922

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.