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1
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,580
- They're for you.
- What am I gonna do with 'em?
2
00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:14,170
We thought you'd like to wear one today.
3
00:01:14,250 --> 00:01:16,510
(laughter)
4
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:20,890
- (yells)
- Oh, shit!
5
00:01:39,610 --> 00:01:43,160
OK, here comes your night to remember!
6
00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:53,960
Here she comes.
7
00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:58,550
She's almost got it. She's almost got it!
8
00:01:59,630 --> 00:02:00,670
She's got it!
9
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,760
Come on, shit for brains!
10
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:06,490
- What do you mean, break Pee Wee's cherry?
- If you're not cherry, you don't get Wendy.
11
00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:11,830
I'm cherry. You could put me on
top of a banana split, I'm so cherry.
12
00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:13,910
(yells)
13
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,380
(Tarzan call)
14
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,570
- (woman) Make it mine. Make it mine.
- (alarm buzzes)
15
00:03:43,650 --> 00:03:45,740
Please make it mine.
16
00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:02,460
I got laid!
17
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,220
I got laid. I tore her up.
18
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:09,970
(chuckles)
19
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,140
She's ruined.
20
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,060
She's ruined.
21
00:04:30,740 --> 00:04:32,830
Where's stiffy? Stiffy!
22
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,330
Hm.
23
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:40,210
Maybe it doesn't work
for a couple of days after you get laid.
24
00:04:41,130 --> 00:04:43,500
Up, you big husky! Up! Up!
25
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,930
Shit.
26
00:04:49,090 --> 00:04:52,350
Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn Monroe.
Marilyn Monroe.
27
00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:58,060
Jayne Mansfield. Jayne Mansfield.
Jayne Mansfield.
28
00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:02,440
Shit!
29
00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:27,800
(Tarzan call)
30
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,190
Got a bad rash, Mom.
31
00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:44,730
Ooh, it hurts like heck.
32
00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:48,280
I don't think I'll ask.
33
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,550
(honks horn)
34
00:06:18,890 --> 00:06:21,480
- Hey, Casanova!
- Hey, stud, how does it feel?
35
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,020
Listen, about this Shakespeare crap.
36
00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:26,190
- (both) Shakespeare crap?
- Stop!
37
00:06:27,270 --> 00:06:31,860
- You're getting me in trouble with Mom.
- It's not my fault she's a drama teacher.
38
00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:36,410
Just because you don't mind looking like
a jerk, Mom thinks I shouldn't mind either.
39
00:06:36,490 --> 00:06:40,160
- Shakespeare's good for you.
- Shakespeare's ass sucks canal water.
40
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:42,960
His ass sucks canal water.
That's very profound.
41
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,920
- He has a keen analytical mind.
- And a way with words.
42
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,800
Hey, Pee Wee. How's it feel? Getting laid.
43
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,590
- Same as it always feels.
- Oh, I don't believe it.
44
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,760
What do you mean?
I got bodies laid all over South Florida.
45
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,930
Morris, the last time you got
any action was with your fist.
46
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:03,390
You guys are jealous because
I ruined Wendy for everybody else.
47
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,860
- Oh, no!
- Now that she's had me, what's left?
48
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:09,480
Yeah, well, that's not what she told me.
49
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,780
- What did she tell you?
- Ask her, Pee Wee. Here she comes.
50
00:07:15,030 --> 00:07:17,320
Yeah, I can hear her pantin' from here.
51
00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:21,950
(Pee Wee) When they've been had by Pee Wee
Morris, they can't keep their hands off me.
52
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,920
And watch out, cos when she sees me
you might get caught in the stampede.
53
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,080
Watch this.
54
00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:29,340
Hi, boys.
55
00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:30,710
(laughter)
56
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,970
- She's in a frenzy.
- She's rabid.
57
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,760
- She didn't know I was here.
- That's what she said about you last night.
58
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,800
Oh, man. The girl's my slave.
59
00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:40,970
Wendy!
60
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,600
Hey, Wendy!
61
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:47,690
- Hey, baby. How's tricks?
- You talkin' to me?
62
00:07:47,770 --> 00:07:50,480
Well, yeah. I'm talkin' to you.
How you feelin'?
63
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:54,650
To tell you the truth, I'm a little horny.
I haven't had too much action lately.
64
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,360
Is that so?
65
00:07:56,450 --> 00:08:00,990
In fact, if I don't get next to a man soon,
I'm gonna be in real trouble.
66
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,290
- (laughter)
- You guys are as funny as a rubber crutch.
67
00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:08,460
- Thanks a lot, kid.
- Oh, Pee Wee, come on. It's just a little joke.
68
00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:11,800
They made me do it.
They said they'd never let me see you again.
69
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:15,220
If that happened,
I'd just have to go into a convent.
70
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:19,890
I mean, after you, where's a girl to go?
It's all downhill from here.
71
00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:23,930
- That's what I was tryin' to tell 'em.
- Well, you were right.
72
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,900
- When?
- How about lunchtime?
73
00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:30,110
- OK.
- Gotta go. See you later.
74
00:08:30,190 --> 00:08:32,270
Bye.
75
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:39,200
Look closer. That is the world's
record shit-eatin' grin.
76
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,240
- I don't know how you do it, Pee Wee.
- I'm an artist.
77
00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:46,910
Michelangelo worked in stone.
Van Gogh worked in oil. I work in pussy.
78
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,880
- He works in pussy.
- At least he's consistent.
79
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,760
- Let's get him.
- I think he needs some more.
80
00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:57,590
I think he does.
81
00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,930
Hey, Pee Wee!
82
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:04,600
If you got all this pussy lyin' around,
you should share with your buddies.
83
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:07,810
- We share with you.
- Oh, yeah. Like Cherry Forever.
84
00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:10,810
A mere dalliance, my boy. A life experience.
85
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,570
We should all learn to run
from guys with machetes.
86
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:15,530
As early in life as possible.
87
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:18,740
I think you should fix us up
with some of your stuff.
88
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:21,950
- Sure, I'll fix you up.
- Yeah? When?
89
00:09:22,030 --> 00:09:24,620
- Well, hell, any time.
- How about tomorrow night?
90
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:29,870
Tomorrow night? It might take me a couple
of days to line up some first-class stuff.
91
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,420
I gotta talk 'em into goin' for
other guys. They're pretty loyal.
92
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,760
- Oh, yeah. I can imagine.
- Of course they would be.
93
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:41,470
Shit.
94
00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:52,190
Hi.
95
00:09:52,690 --> 00:09:54,980
- You still suspended?
- Three more days.
96
00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:56,860
Shit.
97
00:09:56,940 --> 00:09:58,610
(whistle)
98
00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:07,040
You're right. 5.10 on the nose.
99
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,330
I told you.
She goes to the bathroom 5.10 every day.
100
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:14,080
- Every day?
- Every day. 5.10 every day.
101
00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:16,420
You can set your watch by it.
102
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,670
- She's German, you know.
- Very interesting.
103
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:24,390
Yeah? What's so interesting about when
Miss Balbricker goes to the bathroom?
104
00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:27,560
A little experiment I got for zoology class.
105
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,730
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
106
00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:42,150
- Hey, Stemrick!
- What do you want, Pee Wee?
107
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,700
- You get a lot of action, just like me.
- Yeah, I get my share.
108
00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:49,950
I promised to set Turner and some
of the guys up with some pussy.
109
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,120
I don't wanna give 'em my choice stuff.
110
00:10:52,210 --> 00:10:55,630
- They're pretty inexperienced.
- Yeah, you don't wanna do that.
111
00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:58,630
So I wondered if you knew
a broad that's a real pushover.
112
00:10:58,710 --> 00:11:01,340
Somebody a real idiot could score with.
113
00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:04,050
Hell, man. That's easy. Wendy Williams.
114
00:11:07,430 --> 00:11:09,890
- Hey, Stemrick.
- Yeah?
115
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,640
Your sister sucks rhinoceros dicks.
116
00:11:16,150 --> 00:11:18,230
I wonder what he meant by that?
117
00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:23,650
- (purring)
- Hold the splits, girls.
118
00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:26,740
Let's get ready
for the tongue exercise. Ready?
119
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:30,370
All right. Up! Out! Right! Left! Down!
120
00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:32,710
Up! Out! Right! Left! Down!
121
00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:35,420
Hey, what the hell
did Pee Wee do to Stemrick?
122
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:38,130
He's pissed as shit and lookin' for Pee Wee.
123
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:42,720
I think he asked Big John if he could
fix us up with his sister for a gangbang.
124
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:47,600
Could be. He's desperate enough. Boys,
I think we got his ass in a sling this time.
125
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,760
Yeah, well. Serves him right.
126
00:11:51,810 --> 00:11:54,310
- Hey, uh... Hey, Billy?
- Huh?
127
00:11:54,390 --> 00:11:58,610
- What kinda role you playin'?
- I'm playin' a couple of roles, actually.
128
00:11:58,690 --> 00:12:01,730
I'm doin' different scenes
from different plays.
129
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:04,860
- What roles?
- Macbeth.
130
00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:07,570
- I heard of that.
- Yeah.
131
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:11,410
What's the other role?
132
00:12:12,790 --> 00:12:16,790
- Oberon.
- Oberon? Who's he?
133
00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:21,340
He's sort of like a... forest ranger.
134
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:25,260
A forest ranger? In Shakespeare?
135
00:12:25,340 --> 00:12:29,550
Yeah. He looks after the woods. You know.
136
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:33,350
- Looks after the woods?
- Yes. He runs around in the woods a lot.
137
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,940
- He sounds like a fairy to me.
- He's not just a fairy.
138
00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:41,900
He's the king of the fairies.
139
00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:45,490
Oh, you mean like a really big fairy.
140
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,030
You guys are really funny.
141
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,830
Hysterical.
142
00:12:50,910 --> 00:12:54,200
Come on, guys. Let's get serious.
This is art here.
143
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:57,710
- I think it's really admirable, Billy.
- I bet you do.
144
00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:02,710
So.
145
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,340
So you're playin' a big fairy?
146
00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:07,510
Yeah.
147
00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:09,680
Well, that's good casting.
148
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:13,390
Hey, Turner, suck my wand!
149
00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:26,240
- (whispers) Frank.
- What's up, Pee Wee?
150
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,870
You wanna get back at Turner
for that Cherry Forever gag?
151
00:13:32,950 --> 00:13:35,490
- You know I would. Why?
- I'll tell ya later.
152
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:39,170
We gotta find a broad who
they'll believe is ready for a gangbang.
153
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:42,590
Someone who's like a door knob?
Everybody takes a turn?
154
00:13:42,670 --> 00:13:46,050
- It's easy. Wendy Williams.
- Never mind her. Somebody else.
155
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:50,510
- Somebody that they don't know.
- All right. Let me see.
156
00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:55,560
This girl in the band, Big Edna, is supposed
to be hot. I heard, mind you. I wasn't there.
157
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:59,560
I heard she was about to take on 20 guys
on the way home from the Daytona trip.
158
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,730
Some of the fruitcakes in the band
didn't know what to do.
159
00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:06,440
- It figures. Big Edna.
- I mean big. Six foot.
160
00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:09,650
Listen, Pee Wee.
Take this over to that lab monitor for me.
161
00:14:09,740 --> 00:14:11,820
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
- Thanks.
162
00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:21,330
(screams)
163
00:14:33,430 --> 00:14:35,510
Gee, that's very funny, Morris.
164
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:15,390
Pee Wee.
165
00:15:24,730 --> 00:15:26,860
Pee Wee, it's not that bad.
166
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:31,690
Tell those guys the members of your harem
don't want to make it with a bunch of jerks.
167
00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:34,910
- That's what you'd do, huh?
- I don't have a harem.
168
00:15:34,990 --> 00:15:37,070
Oh, that's not what I hear.
169
00:15:39,950 --> 00:15:42,540
What'd you hear?
170
00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:46,880
I was asking who's the biggest pushover
in school. You know what everybody said?
171
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,040
- Wendy Williams?
- Right.
172
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,920
It can't be the first time
you've heard that stuff.
173
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:55,380
- That's different.
- Why?
174
00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:57,550
Before, I wanted it to be true.
175
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,680
And I guess now I don't.
176
00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:06,940
Well, that's good. Because it's not true.
177
00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:10,400
- It isn't?
- No.
178
00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:16,450
- You don't believe me?
- You went on the bus with me, just like that.
179
00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:22,200
That's like the old joke "I wouldn't belong to
any club that would have me as a member."
180
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,460
Pee Wee, don't you know why I did that?
181
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:27,630
Yeah. The bet with Tommy.
182
00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:31,210
I did it because I liked you...
183
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,010
...and because I wanted to.
184
00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:37,340
- You did?
- Uh-huh.
185
00:16:38,930 --> 00:16:42,720
- You do it every time you want to?
- Yup. Every time I want to.
186
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:48,350
It's just that I've only wanted to three times.
187
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:51,940
Really?
188
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:56,070
Tommy - you knew that.
189
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:58,610
Some guy you don't know at summer camp.
190
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,780
And you.
191
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:06,750
Well, why are all these assholes
talking about you like that?
192
00:17:06,830 --> 00:17:11,880
Most guys are so desperate, they'll lie about
anybody to make themselves look like studs.
193
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:16,260
Didn't you ever brag about some girl
you never really made it with?
194
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,840
Well, I can't believe they'd make all that up.
195
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:22,010
You know how I got my reputation?
196
00:17:22,850 --> 00:17:25,020
In the eighth grade.
197
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,270
I didn't know anything. I mean...
198
00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:32,770
These guys tried to get me
to go skinny-dipping.
199
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:37,150
I didn't want to, but I didn't care
if they did so I watched.
200
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,360
I thought it was funny, you know.
201
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,530
Flopping around.
202
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,490
Oh, God.
203
00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:48,710
The next day in school, I was a slut.
204
00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,670
I mean, the original mattress-back.
205
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,010
I got used to it.
206
00:17:59,130 --> 00:18:01,220
What do they know about me?
207
00:18:02,090 --> 00:18:04,970
I do what I want.
I don't care what anybody thinks.
208
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,310
Well, um...
I mean, don't you care what I think?
209
00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:13,060
Mm-hm.
210
00:18:13,810 --> 00:18:15,900
I care.
211
00:18:17,610 --> 00:18:19,780
But I can't tell you what to think.
212
00:18:22,110 --> 00:18:24,200
I can only tell you the truth.
213
00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:31,830
Oh, boy.
214
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,590
Well? We gonna be buddies?
215
00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,630
First, I'm gonna have to get into shape.
216
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:40,130
Yeah, why?
217
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:45,970
Cos I'm gonna kick the shit out of these guys!
I don't want 'em talkin' about my girl like that.
218
00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:55,150
(Mrs Morris) Come on, kids! Let's go.
219
00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:58,610
- Shit.
- That's your cue.
220
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:03,280
We got somethin' cookin'
for your Cherry Forever revenge.
221
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,740
Who's "we" and how
did you know about that?
222
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:10,540
"We" is Brian and me. And what do you
mean, how do I know? I look after my guy.
223
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:13,830
- We even know where to get the girl.
- Don't worry. I got a lead.
224
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,710
- What's the plan?
- We're still workin' on it. I'll tell you tonight.
225
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,440
Big Edna?
226
00:19:45,530 --> 00:19:48,200
- Hi. I'm Pee Wee Morris.
- I know.
227
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,540
You do? Ah, well, that figures.
228
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:54,670
I heard you had a little problem
with the boys in the band the other night.
229
00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:55,790
Huh?
230
00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:00,170
Edna, I have some guys that won't
let you down. You know what I mean?
231
00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:01,300
No.
232
00:20:01,380 --> 00:20:05,550
Come on, Edna. A big girl like you takes
a lot of men to keep you satisfied, right?
233
00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:10,220
- What are you talking about?
- Come on, you know what I'm talkin' about!
234
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:13,310
- I don't.
- Edna, come here.
235
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,440
- I wonder what he's up to.
- Who knows.
236
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,070
- What do you think?
- No way.
237
00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:24,570
(Edna) Gangbang? Gangbang?!
238
00:20:31,410 --> 00:20:33,910
Dirty, rotten, filthy little creep!
239
00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:39,210
- Are you OK?
- I take it that was a no.
240
00:20:39,290 --> 00:20:41,710
- She's thinking it over.
- You're funny.
241
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,260
Look, don't worry about it.
We'll switch to plan B.
242
00:20:45,340 --> 00:20:48,720
- Plan B? I don't even know what plan A was.
- Here's what we'll do.
243
00:20:49,390 --> 00:20:51,470
Yet I will try the last.
244
00:20:52,390 --> 00:20:54,020
Lay on, Macduff...
245
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:58,310
...And damn'd be he
that first cries "Hold, enough!"
246
00:20:59,610 --> 00:21:01,690
No, not you.
247
00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:05,650
Shakespeare. The... play.
248
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:14,950
- I'm glad I don't have to eat these.
- You seen Billy around?
249
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:19,420
- Don't bug him, he's studying his role.
- He's studying, you ignorant oafs.
250
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:23,710
- I got a role he can study.
- He's not ready for a role that big, yet.
251
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,590
Hey, Mickey!
252
00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:28,260
Suckers.
253
00:21:28,340 --> 00:21:30,430
Hey, McCarty.
254
00:21:31,220 --> 00:21:33,220
Can we have your autograph?
255
00:21:33,310 --> 00:21:37,850
Look, you guys, when I become a big star
and I'm rubbing elbows with Ava Gardner...
256
00:21:37,940 --> 00:21:41,940
...you're the first people I intend to forget.
- That's Hollywood.
257
00:21:42,020 --> 00:21:45,480
"Gentle Puck, come hither."
What the fuck's a puck?
258
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:51,030
It's a character. It's a friend of Oberon's.
He's like a... a little forest ranger.
259
00:21:51,740 --> 00:21:54,540
- Puck? A little forest ranger?
- Yes.
260
00:21:54,620 --> 00:21:57,040
- Well, who plays that part?
- Pee Wee.
261
00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:02,710
Oh. So Pee Wee plays the little fairy and
you play a big fairy. That's a lot of fairies.
262
00:22:02,790 --> 00:22:05,840
You guys get to run around
the woods together?
263
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:10,680
You guys must be really proud of your
ignorance cos you show it off so much.
264
00:22:21,060 --> 00:22:23,360
- John Henry.
- Yes, I know.
265
00:22:24,770 --> 00:22:27,610
Tell Mrs Morris I'll take the part.
266
00:22:27,690 --> 00:22:30,400
I will. I'm glad.
267
00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:39,120
- Is he in the show?
- Well, he is now.
268
00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:43,080
- He's a Seminole.
- Observant, Tim. Real observant.
269
00:22:43,170 --> 00:22:47,760
No, no, no. I just meant that, uh...
some people might not care for that.
270
00:22:48,710 --> 00:22:51,260
- Well, it's all right with me.
- Me too.
271
00:22:53,180 --> 00:22:55,600
- We're gonna see the broad tonight?
- Right.
272
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,720
- Do you think they'll go for it?
- If you keep your cool.
273
00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:02,100
- Just think of it as an acting lesson.
- Cool. Right.
274
00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:09,070
- Tomorrow night at 11 o'clock.
- Right.
275
00:23:09,150 --> 00:23:12,110
- It'll work, right? Graveyard Gloria, right?
- Right.
276
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,280
- Cool, right?
- Right.
277
00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:20,450
- You could be the biggest fairy of 'em all.
- Eat my shorts.
278
00:23:20,540 --> 00:23:23,580
- Hey, you guys, how they hangin'?
- (squawking)
279
00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:28,880
Cut it out, for Christ's sake! I come here with
an offer of a lifetime and you act like children.
280
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:33,130
- We're sorry. What's your offer?
- Forget it. Billy, let's go.
281
00:23:33,220 --> 00:23:36,140
You wanna sample the greatest ass
in five counties?
282
00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:40,100
- What ass is this?
- Get this. By day, a mild-mannered librarian.
283
00:23:40,180 --> 00:23:42,560
She looks like a buttoned-up icebox.
284
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:47,150
But you get her near a cemetery
and she'll ride you into the ground!
285
00:23:47,230 --> 00:23:50,820
I'm not kiddin'. They call her
"Graveyard Gloria, the fuck of death".
286
00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:55,030
I got it all lined up! You wanna act like
men for a change and take a shot at this?
287
00:23:55,110 --> 00:23:59,790
- I don't know. Do you wanna give her a shot?
- Yeah, but it might spoil it for the rest of you.
288
00:23:59,870 --> 00:24:02,540
Why not? She's gotta have
some curiosity value.
289
00:24:02,620 --> 00:24:04,790
I got it all worked out for you.
290
00:24:04,870 --> 00:24:08,380
- How about you, McCarty?
- Oh, I just love graveyards.
291
00:24:08,460 --> 00:24:11,010
- But can't we rehearse first?
- Sure, Billy.
292
00:24:12,420 --> 00:24:14,510
See you, Rock.
293
00:24:14,590 --> 00:24:17,640
- Graveyard Gloria, my ass.
- I wonder where he dug her up?
294
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,390
That's funny. Not as funny
as your face, but funny.
295
00:24:20,470 --> 00:24:25,350
- The little booger's up to something.
- We're gonna have to keep an eye on him.
296
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,480
How we gonna do that?
He's in rehearsal all day.
297
00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:32,860
Well, Anthony, you always
wanted to be an actor.
298
00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:35,280
Me, an actor? No fuckin' way.
299
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:39,070
You gotta be kiddin'. It'll never happen.
Count on it.
300
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,240
(laughter)
301
00:24:53,340 --> 00:24:55,550
Thanks for coming by, Anthony.
302
00:24:55,630 --> 00:24:58,970
I just figured I'd, um...
kinda like, ask you a question.
303
00:24:59,050 --> 00:25:02,010
I mean, is this guy, like... Is he, like, uh...
304
00:25:06,690 --> 00:25:08,350
No.
305
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,400
How come he has to wear,
you know, clothes like this?
306
00:25:12,020 --> 00:25:14,150
Well, he's pretending to be a girl.
307
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,570
Just pretending? OK, OK.
308
00:25:19,570 --> 00:25:22,280
Will you read Thisbe's speech on page 120?
309
00:25:22,370 --> 00:25:24,080
- Yeah.
- (laughter)
310
00:25:24,540 --> 00:25:29,250
(woodenly) "O wall! Full often
hast thou heard my moans."
311
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,420
- Pretty good, huh?
- (laughter)
312
00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:36,590
Anthony, can you get
your voice a little higher?
313
00:25:36,670 --> 00:25:40,010
- Huh?
- Well, he's pretending to be a girl.
314
00:25:44,270 --> 00:25:46,930
(bleats) "My cherry lips..."
315
00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:52,150
A little higher, Anthony. Come on.
316
00:25:53,730 --> 00:25:57,070
(falsetto) "And I like Helen,
till the Fates me..."
317
00:25:57,530 --> 00:25:59,660
This... This isn't gonna work.
318
00:25:59,740 --> 00:26:02,700
I-I just got a naturally deep voice. You know.
319
00:26:02,780 --> 00:26:06,250
- (Pee Wee grunts)
- I just naturally got a man's voice.
320
00:26:06,330 --> 00:26:09,040
- Ssh.
- (Pee Wee grunts)
321
00:26:25,810 --> 00:26:27,890
(¶ fairground music)
322
00:26:43,410 --> 00:26:45,490
Really neat disguise.
323
00:26:45,580 --> 00:26:47,660
Yeah!
324
00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:51,710
I think I'm going to regret this.
325
00:26:53,420 --> 00:26:55,500
(clown laughs)
326
00:27:01,130 --> 00:27:03,220
(cheering)
327
00:27:37,670 --> 00:27:39,760
Shit.
328
00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:44,260
(woman) Graveyard Gloria?
Why not? Sounds like fun.
329
00:27:44,340 --> 00:27:46,510
- You got a deal.
- (Pee Wee) That's great.
330
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,850
- (horse whinnies)
- (woman) Rex, shut up!
331
00:27:48,930 --> 00:27:51,020
Gosh, he's so possessive.
332
00:27:51,890 --> 00:27:55,730
- (Pee Wee) OK, Friday night. Good night.
- (woman) See you later, boys.
333
00:27:55,810 --> 00:27:58,940
- They're gonna shit. Definitely.
- Definitely.
334
00:27:59,020 --> 00:28:01,110
Oh, definitely.
335
00:28:15,170 --> 00:28:17,460
- What do you want?
- Is Gloria in?
336
00:28:18,420 --> 00:28:20,880
- Who wants her?
- We wanna talk some business.
337
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:25,090
- She ain't interested.
- We brought along a few friends of ours.
338
00:28:26,260 --> 00:28:28,350
Oh, well...
339
00:28:28,930 --> 00:28:31,560
...any friend of yours is a friend of ours.
340
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:39,900
- (¶ dance music on flute)
- That is great. Great. Nice, nice.
341
00:28:39,980 --> 00:28:42,070
Very good. Next!
342
00:28:46,990 --> 00:28:49,070
(Mrs Morris chuckles)
343
00:28:49,910 --> 00:28:53,750
Lovely! Oh, just wonderful.
344
00:28:53,830 --> 00:28:55,500
(applauds)
345
00:28:55,580 --> 00:28:57,670
Next!
346
00:28:58,460 --> 00:29:01,630
All right, who's supposed to be next?
Let's move it.
347
00:29:03,420 --> 00:29:06,930
Come on, folks. Let's get with it, please.
348
00:29:09,930 --> 00:29:12,140
All right, who's supposed to be next?
349
00:29:12,770 --> 00:29:16,770
- It's Pee Wee.
- Oh. I see.
350
00:29:16,850 --> 00:29:17,900
Pee Wee!
351
00:29:19,310 --> 00:29:24,150
- (Pee Wee) I'm not comin' out.
- Pee Wee, get out here right now.
352
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:27,400
All we need is a brief look at the costume.
353
00:29:27,490 --> 00:29:29,160
(Pee Wee) No way.
354
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:34,540
Pee Wee, you get out here right now or you're
sitting out the rest of the baseball season.
355
00:29:34,620 --> 00:29:37,620
- Mom, I can't. Everybody'll laugh.
- Nobody will laugh.
356
00:29:37,710 --> 00:29:40,380
- Yes, they will.
- No, they won't.
357
00:29:40,460 --> 00:29:44,260
- Will anybody laugh?
- (all) No.
358
00:29:50,140 --> 00:29:52,430
Get the curtain.
359
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,860
It looks great, Pee Wee.
360
00:30:03,570 --> 00:30:06,360
- Nice horn, buddy.
- Love your dress, Meat.
361
00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:09,030
Nice tail.
362
00:30:09,410 --> 00:30:13,740
Excellent, costumers.
Very good. Very creative.
363
00:30:14,410 --> 00:30:18,460
- All right, let's get on with it.
- You're not gettin' on with anything.
364
00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:23,090
- I beg your pardon?
- Rise, flock, and follow.
365
00:30:23,170 --> 00:30:26,760
Excuse me. This is a closed rehearsal.
We don't open for...
366
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,970
This show is never gonna open.
367
00:30:30,050 --> 00:30:32,680
Miss Balbricker.
To what do I owe this pleasure?
368
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:37,980
Oh, it's no pleasure, I assure you, Morris.
I'm here to lend support to Reverend Flavel.
369
00:30:38,060 --> 00:30:43,440
And I'm the spiritual leader of the
Righteous Flock, Reverend Bubba Flavel.
370
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,400
Bubble Flavour?
371
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:50,490
Bubba Flavel, Mrs Morris.
Reverend Bubba Flavel.
372
00:30:51,700 --> 00:30:55,740
- It is Mrs Morris, is it not?
- The last time I looked.
373
00:30:55,830 --> 00:31:01,170
Would you put cow puckeys in
these children's mouths, Mrs Morris?
374
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:03,380
What?
375
00:31:03,580 --> 00:31:06,250
Or dog oogies?
376
00:31:06,340 --> 00:31:07,840
(groaning)
377
00:31:08,050 --> 00:31:10,630
Or pelican snot?
378
00:31:11,300 --> 00:31:14,300
- Excuse me, I am going to be ill.
- (laughter)
379
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,680
This is Shakespeare. It is not filth.
380
00:31:17,890 --> 00:31:24,400
Oh, yes. I know, that's the official position
of the academic community. However...
381
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,530
Exactly what are you trying
to tell us, Reverend Flavel?
382
00:31:27,860 --> 00:31:33,320
We're closing you down, Morris.
Closing you down.
383
00:31:33,410 --> 00:31:36,080
- On whose authority?
- God's.
384
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:39,830
- The Righteous Flock's.
- So sayeth the shepherd.
385
00:31:39,910 --> 00:31:42,000
So sayeth the flock.
386
00:31:42,830 --> 00:31:45,920
If that's not good enough,
we'll go to the principal.
387
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,420
Then let's do that, Miss Balbricker.
388
00:31:49,170 --> 00:31:52,630
Let's just do that. Right now.
389
00:31:56,430 --> 00:31:58,760
Mr Carter, there's a mob here to see you.
390
00:31:58,850 --> 00:32:03,940
- Do they have an appointment, Betty?
- (Flavel) God always has an appointment!
391
00:32:14,570 --> 00:32:16,660
(man) Come on, Mr Carter.
392
00:32:21,330 --> 00:32:24,460
Well, Reverend. What is the problem now?
393
00:32:24,540 --> 00:32:27,540
What is the problem? What is the problem?
394
00:32:27,630 --> 00:32:30,170
The problem is fornication.
395
00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:33,130
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
396
00:32:33,220 --> 00:32:37,340
Sister Balbricker. Open your book.
You play the woman's part.
397
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:42,600
Shakespeare is trash!
I'll give proof. Listen to this!
398
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:46,060
"If I be waspish, best beware of my sting."
399
00:32:46,150 --> 00:32:49,730
"Who knows not
where a wasp does wear his sting?"
400
00:32:49,820 --> 00:32:52,820
Get this: "In his tail."
401
00:32:52,900 --> 00:32:56,160
- "In his tongue."
- "Whose tongue?"
402
00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:00,580
"Yours, if you talk of tails: and so, farewell."
403
00:33:00,950 --> 00:33:04,790
"What! With my tongue in your tail?"
404
00:33:04,870 --> 00:33:07,710
Now, there's no mistaking
his intention. No, sir.
405
00:33:07,790 --> 00:33:11,920
He intends to put his tongue
in a woman's tail.
406
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,340
- What kind of man would do such a thing?
- (cheering)
407
00:33:17,090 --> 00:33:20,260
Reverend, here is the Bible.
Now... Now, listen.
408
00:33:20,470 --> 00:33:22,560
Just a moment. Listen.
409
00:33:22,770 --> 00:33:27,440
"And my beloved put in his hand
by the hole of the door...
410
00:33:27,730 --> 00:33:30,610
...and my bowels were moved for him."
411
00:33:30,690 --> 00:33:32,610
Song of Solomon. Chapter 5.
412
00:33:32,690 --> 00:33:37,450
- The devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
- He can cite Shakespeare too, Reverend.
413
00:33:37,610 --> 00:33:41,740
I have read Solomon and Job and Isaiah...
414
00:33:41,830 --> 00:33:46,500
...and Jeremiah and Malachi
and Matthew and Mark and Luke and John.
415
00:33:46,580 --> 00:33:49,330
- And nowhere...
- He forgot Sneezy and Doc.
416
00:33:49,420 --> 00:33:52,000
Nowhere do I find the likes of this.
417
00:33:52,630 --> 00:33:56,170
Midsummer Night's Dream. Act V. Scene I.
418
00:33:56,260 --> 00:34:00,220
"The iron tongue of midnight hath told 12;
419
00:34:00,300 --> 00:34:06,520
Lovers, to bed; 'tis almost fairy time."
420
00:34:07,140 --> 00:34:10,190
Good God! It's enough
to make a real man sick.
421
00:34:10,270 --> 00:34:12,690
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
422
00:34:12,770 --> 00:34:15,650
"And Abraham was 90 years old and nine...
423
00:34:15,730 --> 00:34:22,660
...when he was circumcised in the flesh
of his foreskin." Genesis 17.
424
00:34:22,740 --> 00:34:24,830
(cheering)
425
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,080
A Midsummer Night's Dream. Act IV, scene I.
426
00:34:29,170 --> 00:34:31,500
"I could munch your good dry oats."
427
00:34:31,580 --> 00:34:34,880
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
428
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:39,430
"And thy navel is like a rounded
goblet which wanteth not liquor."
429
00:34:39,510 --> 00:34:41,680
Solomon 7, verse 2.
430
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,810
And King Lear. Act IV. Scene VI.
431
00:34:46,890 --> 00:34:49,390
"Let copulation thrive!"
432
00:34:49,690 --> 00:34:53,690
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
433
00:34:53,770 --> 00:34:56,530
"And when the Lord saw Leah was hated...
434
00:34:56,610 --> 00:34:58,740
...he opened up her womb."
435
00:34:58,820 --> 00:35:01,030
Genesis 24:31.
436
00:35:01,110 --> 00:35:02,910
(cheering)
437
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,250
Vile! Blasphemous!
438
00:35:08,370 --> 00:35:12,210
Intolerable! Shakespeare must go!
439
00:35:12,330 --> 00:35:16,750
- So sayeth the shepherd.
- So sayeth the flock.
440
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:19,920
God damn you, you... (mumbles)
441
00:35:23,930 --> 00:35:26,220
What sayeth you, Mr Carter?
442
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,140
Get the flock outta here!
443
00:35:40,780 --> 00:35:43,110
All right, Mr Carter!
444
00:35:51,410 --> 00:35:53,500
This means war.
445
00:35:53,580 --> 00:35:55,500
Holy war!
446
00:35:56,590 --> 00:35:58,840
Flock, follow!
447
00:36:06,050 --> 00:36:07,220
Thank you.
448
00:36:13,890 --> 00:36:16,400
- Will you hurry up?
- Brian, who do I look like?
449
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,110
One last time: Boris Karloff as the Mummy.
450
00:36:19,190 --> 00:36:23,400
- Dead right. Dead ringer, huh?
- One more dead joke, you're dead.
451
00:36:24,820 --> 00:36:27,780
Excuse me, girls.
Y'all know a good dermatologist?
452
00:36:30,620 --> 00:36:34,670
- Let's go over it one more time.
- We pick 'em up. You introduce me.
453
00:36:34,750 --> 00:36:37,920
"Miss Gloria Tightass,
little Miss Prim and Proper."
454
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:42,840
"Good evening, boys. It's swell to meet you."
I figure she whispers, being from a library.
455
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,510
Right. Good, but talk about books
or something. Keep 'em off guard.
456
00:36:46,590 --> 00:36:48,470
Oh, yeah. Books.
457
00:36:48,550 --> 00:36:50,810
Then we take the detour. You ask me why.
458
00:36:50,890 --> 00:36:53,560
- When you hear the word "graveyard"...
- I get hot.
459
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,350
Really hot. Be convincing,
because they'll be lookin' for a trap.
460
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:02,190
- You even gotta convince me.
- Lover, I will be convincing.
461
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:07,200
Oh, I want these guys so horny,
they'll do anything for it. Anything.
462
00:37:23,130 --> 00:37:27,930
- What is the matter with you?
- (slurs) It's the booze, man. It's deadly.
463
00:37:29,180 --> 00:37:30,550
Whoops! Whoa!
464
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,600
Wait a minute. I almost forgot my bottle.
465
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,770
That would be a grave error.
466
00:37:35,850 --> 00:37:38,060
(giggles)
467
00:37:38,150 --> 00:37:41,570
So, uh... Gloria,
have you read any good books lately?
468
00:37:41,650 --> 00:37:45,190
- I read My Gun is Quick. Do you know it?
- Know it? He lives it.
469
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,740
- Really? Are you a private eye?
- No, he's a private dick.
470
00:37:48,820 --> 00:37:52,030
- But not by choice.
- Turner, how about gobblin' my joint?
471
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:56,500
- No, I never read that one, Meat.
- Me neither. It's not in the library yet.
472
00:37:56,580 --> 00:37:59,000
How come we've never
seen you at the library?
473
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,250
- She works odd hours.
- Midnight till three.
474
00:38:02,340 --> 00:38:06,760
That reminds me. I said I'd stop by the
cemetery to put flowers on Granddad's grave.
475
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:08,680
Oh, the graveyard?
476
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:13,310
Ooh, Pee Wee. Oooh! Oh, Pee Wee.
477
00:38:14,770 --> 00:38:16,270
¶ The worms crawl in
478
00:38:16,350 --> 00:38:18,020
¶ The worms crawl out
479
00:38:18,100 --> 00:38:23,230
¶ The worms play pinochle on your snout
480
00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:33,030
- Hey, don't forget your flowers.
- Ssh, ssh...
481
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,370
- Where are the rednecks?
- Over there.
482
00:38:35,450 --> 00:38:37,160
Where's Steve?
483
00:38:37,250 --> 00:38:41,080
I think we oughta nail him
in his coffin and leave him overnight.
484
00:38:41,170 --> 00:38:44,340
Hey, listen. Listen to me.
I'm gonna go back to her and...
485
00:38:44,420 --> 00:38:47,260
- She's hot, man.
- That's what you said, Pee Wee.
486
00:38:47,340 --> 00:38:50,220
- But she's really hot!
- Pee Wee, I'm getting hot.
487
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:54,100
I want all you guys - but especially you.
488
00:38:55,180 --> 00:38:57,270
Go get her, Pee Wee.
489
00:38:59,100 --> 00:39:01,600
I'm getting hot and I really mean it.
490
00:39:01,690 --> 00:39:04,940
Let's you and I go do it
before the others get there.
491
00:39:05,020 --> 00:39:06,860
(Graveyard Gloria moans)
492
00:39:06,940 --> 00:39:09,030
Oh, shit!
493
00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:13,160
- Bye, Pee Wee.
- Like shootin' fish in a barrel.
494
00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:16,580
- Don't die till he gets all his clothes off.
- Right.
495
00:39:18,910 --> 00:39:21,620
- He's going to shit.
- So am I.
496
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:23,750
Steve! Steve!
497
00:39:23,830 --> 00:39:26,630
- (Steve) The worms crawl up my nose...
- Shut up, man.
498
00:39:26,710 --> 00:39:31,380
Listen, come on! The signal's been delayed.
Somethin' important came up.
499
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,760
- Be realistic when you die.
- Don't worry, sugar.
500
00:39:34,850 --> 00:39:36,510
- Go easy, Bill.
- Right.
501
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,020
Ow!
502
00:39:38,350 --> 00:39:40,230
OK. I'm ready.
503
00:39:40,430 --> 00:39:42,940
Ah. Well...
504
00:39:43,770 --> 00:39:47,480
I'm dying for it. But wait.
505
00:39:47,730 --> 00:39:50,990
I want you to come... slowly.
506
00:39:53,610 --> 00:39:57,990
Step by step... by step.
507
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,500
I wanna feel your arms around me.
508
00:40:00,580 --> 00:40:02,830
(moans)
509
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:08,130
Your lips on mine. Your hands on my body.
510
00:40:09,090 --> 00:40:10,420
Oh, yes.
511
00:40:11,090 --> 00:40:13,840
Touching, searching, feeling.
512
00:40:14,010 --> 00:40:16,140
Oh, Pee Wee! Pee Wee!
513
00:40:17,100 --> 00:40:19,180
(Pee Wee laughs incredulously)
514
00:40:19,890 --> 00:40:22,060
My God.
515
00:40:23,020 --> 00:40:25,440
What's the matter? Don't you like me?
516
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,610
(moans)
517
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,570
(strangulated tone) Pee Wee!
518
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,820
- What?
- Pee Wee!
519
00:40:35,700 --> 00:40:37,370
What?
520
00:40:39,410 --> 00:40:40,410
Oh, Pee Wee!
521
00:40:40,490 --> 00:40:42,580
(death-rattle)
522
00:40:44,290 --> 00:40:47,790
I thought she was supposed
to be doing this realistic.
523
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,220
Holy shit!
524
00:40:55,300 --> 00:40:56,680
Ssh! Ssh!
525
00:40:57,140 --> 00:40:59,050
Help, Tommy!
526
00:40:59,260 --> 00:41:01,350
Help, Tommy, come here! Hurry!
527
00:41:01,430 --> 00:41:04,850
- Help! Tommy!
- We've got to act serious.
528
00:41:04,940 --> 00:41:05,980
Tommy!
529
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,730
- What happened?
- I don't know.
530
00:41:08,810 --> 00:41:11,150
- Check her pulse.
- What pulse?
531
00:41:11,230 --> 00:41:14,490
- What do you mean, what pulse?
- Is there a heartbeat?
532
00:41:14,570 --> 00:41:18,120
- I don't think so.
- Of course there is! Otherwise she'd be...
533
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,080
- Dead.
- Dead?
534
00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:21,990
Oh, Pee Wee!
535
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:26,460
Don't look, Pee Wee. Just don't look!
Don't look. Just don't look! Don't look!
536
00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:28,750
She can't be dead. Let me look.
537
00:41:36,010 --> 00:41:39,140
- Dead as a fuckin' doornail.
- Oh, shit!
538
00:41:39,350 --> 00:41:41,470
You got her too excited, Pee Wee.
539
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:45,560
- I think we should call the police.
- Police?! My mom's gonna kill me.
540
00:41:47,060 --> 00:41:48,850
- We can't do that.
- Why not?
541
00:41:48,940 --> 00:41:51,110
- Pee Wee'll go to jail.
- Jail?
542
00:41:52,270 --> 00:41:57,240
- What do you mean?
- This is coitus interruptus. In extremis.
543
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,660
- That's a good point.
- But I didn't do anything, Tommy!
544
00:42:00,740 --> 00:42:02,660
The law doesn't look at it that way.
545
00:42:02,740 --> 00:42:07,160
If a woman dies while you're boffing her,
you're considered an accomplice.
546
00:42:07,250 --> 00:42:10,210
- Oh, shit, Pee Wee.
- Oh, my God.
547
00:42:10,290 --> 00:42:13,090
Look, Pee Wee. It really wasn't your fault.
548
00:42:13,630 --> 00:42:15,550
She probably had a bad heart.
549
00:42:15,630 --> 00:42:19,930
- Yeah, it could have happened to any of us.
- Yeah, especially you, Meat.
550
00:42:21,720 --> 00:42:26,600
- So. What are we gonna do?
- William, there's only one thing to do.
551
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:28,770
What's that, Thomas?
552
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,520
Bury her.
553
00:42:33,650 --> 00:42:36,190
Yeah, yeah. We've gotta protect Pee Wee.
554
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,780
They might miss her down at the library.
555
00:42:41,410 --> 00:42:44,620
I just suppose that's a chance
we're gonna have to take.
556
00:42:44,700 --> 00:42:47,910
- Absolutely right.
- Meat, you wanna grab that body?
557
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,880
- Watch your hands.
- What do you care? You're dead.
558
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:58,380
- She's gettin' stiff already.
- So are you, Meat.
559
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:19,030
Oh, bogey! Bogey, bogey, bogey!
560
00:43:23,530 --> 00:43:25,330
(Steve continues to rant)
561
00:43:25,410 --> 00:43:27,660
- What is this?
- (Pee Wee) Nothin'.
562
00:43:28,660 --> 00:43:30,960
- "Nothin"'?
- Who's in there?
563
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:32,960
- Nobody.
- "Nobody"?
564
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:36,420
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
565
00:43:38,210 --> 00:43:39,630
Bogey.
566
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,510
- It's Steve.
- Steve?
567
00:43:41,590 --> 00:43:43,970
- It was a joke.
- Ajoke?
568
00:43:44,050 --> 00:43:49,350
Good God, there's a woman lying dead over
there. And you're telling us it was a joke?
569
00:43:49,430 --> 00:43:50,980
I didn't know!
570
00:43:51,060 --> 00:43:54,610
We've put up with your pranks
for many years now.
571
00:43:54,690 --> 00:43:58,570
But we never dreamed that you'd
have such little regard for human life.
572
00:43:58,650 --> 00:44:03,570
- We're disappointed. Bitterly disappointed.
- Well, God help you, Pee Wee.
573
00:44:05,070 --> 00:44:07,870
- You're gonna have to live with this!
- Yeah. Amen.
574
00:44:09,450 --> 00:44:11,540
But...
575
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:16,790
- Oh, shit, Steve.
- (man) Hey!
576
00:44:17,670 --> 00:44:19,130
Hey!
577
00:44:19,210 --> 00:44:21,760
God dammit, I'm talkin' to you!
578
00:44:23,090 --> 00:44:25,760
What the fuck do you think you're doin'?
579
00:44:25,850 --> 00:44:30,640
- It's the goddamn grave robbers again.
- I'm gonna blow their fuckin' heads off.
580
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:33,020
(boys cackle)
581
00:44:33,100 --> 00:44:35,350
Come on, you guys. What's goin' on?
582
00:44:35,770 --> 00:44:38,150
Holy shit!
583
00:44:38,230 --> 00:44:40,900
Bye-bye, Pee Wee. See you later!
584
00:44:41,610 --> 00:44:43,700
What are you guys doin'?
585
00:44:43,780 --> 00:44:47,200
- Shit!
- Bogey, bogey, bogey!
586
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,620
- Bye, Pee Wee!
- See you around!
587
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:01,670
- Crazy little fuckers.
- Well, it's an easy ten bucks.
588
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:03,840
That's right. Hand it over.
589
00:45:04,340 --> 00:45:06,430
(Tarzan call)
590
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:12,770
- Just kids.
- Yeah.
591
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,150
Remember the last time
we were on this road?
592
00:45:17,230 --> 00:45:19,320
Yeah. Couldn't forget that.
593
00:45:33,250 --> 00:45:35,000
Hey!
594
00:45:35,710 --> 00:45:37,790
I really wanna hear this story.
595
00:45:40,590 --> 00:45:46,090
- Look out!
- Bogey, bogey! Bogey, bogey!
596
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:51,140
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
Bogey, bogey, bogey! Bogey.
597
00:45:51,260 --> 00:45:52,890
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
598
00:45:53,430 --> 00:45:55,140
Bogey, bogey, bogey! Bogey, bogey!
599
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:58,520
Bogey, bogey.
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
600
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,480
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
Bogey, bogey, bogey!
601
00:46:01,940 --> 00:46:04,150
Bogey, bogey, bogey, bogey!
602
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:26,880
(man) All right. That's it.
603
00:46:30,010 --> 00:46:32,100
(man laughs)
604
00:46:36,430 --> 00:46:38,520
(whistles tune)
605
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:42,400
OK. OK, OK. All right.
606
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,570
All right, take it up.
607
00:46:47,650 --> 00:46:50,030
This is gonna scare the shit out of 'em.
608
00:46:50,110 --> 00:46:52,780
(laughs)
609
00:46:56,620 --> 00:46:58,710
They gonna mess their trousers!
610
00:46:58,790 --> 00:47:01,080
(cackles)
611
00:47:01,170 --> 00:47:04,300
- Why are we doin' this?
- (Mrs Morris) I don't know, Billy.
612
00:47:04,380 --> 00:47:07,050
- Brian, get the house lights, please.
- Sure.
613
00:47:07,130 --> 00:47:11,260
Just pretend Reverend Flavel and
the county commissioners aren't out there.
614
00:47:11,340 --> 00:47:14,220
We'll do the scenes as we've rehearsed them.
615
00:47:14,310 --> 00:47:17,100
Now, don't worry about it. It's going to...
616
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,650
(clattering)
617
00:47:29,450 --> 00:47:32,570
- (Billy) What is it?
- (Mrs Morris) These clowns.
618
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,160
(Meat) What's this supposed to mean?
619
00:47:36,240 --> 00:47:37,370
Well...
620
00:47:37,450 --> 00:47:41,250
They don't like John Henry
playing Romeo to Wendy's Juliet.
621
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:47,340
- I'll withdraw if you think it's best.
- Oh, no. We're not givin' in to this stuff.
622
00:47:47,420 --> 00:47:49,470
(Mrs Morris) Hold on a second.
623
00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:54,970
John Henry, certainly we're not going
to be intimidated by this stupidity.
624
00:47:55,050 --> 00:47:58,470
But, ultimately, the decision
isn't ours. It's yours.
625
00:48:10,690 --> 00:48:12,780
(Balbricker) Mrs Morris!
626
00:48:14,660 --> 00:48:18,830
Oh, Mrs Morris. I'd like you to meet
His Honour Mayor John G Abernathy.
627
00:48:18,910 --> 00:48:22,330
- How do you do?
- How are you? Great school. Great.
628
00:48:22,420 --> 00:48:25,460
- Great school. My mother was a teacher.
- Really?
629
00:48:25,540 --> 00:48:30,170
Have you met the other commissioners?
Commissioner Couch. Commissioner Hurley.
630
00:48:30,260 --> 00:48:32,170
- Bob Gebhardt.
- Pleased to meet you.
631
00:48:32,260 --> 00:48:35,760
- Well, gentlemen, I hope you enjoy it.
- Not likely.
632
00:48:35,850 --> 00:48:38,140
I always admired the Bard myself.
633
00:48:38,220 --> 00:48:42,520
I know several thousand voters
who don't share your view, Commissioner.
634
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:48,230
- That sounds like a threat, Reverend Flavel.
- The Lord doesn't have to threaten.
635
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:50,360
You remember that, Reverend Flavel.
636
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:54,200
- Well, shall we start?
- (Mrs Morris) Of course, sir.
637
00:48:56,490 --> 00:48:59,990
(John) Call me but love,
and I'll be new baptised;
638
00:49:00,450 --> 00:49:03,160
Henceforth I never will be Romeo.
639
00:49:03,250 --> 00:49:05,210
What man art thou, that,
thus be screened in night...
640
00:49:05,290 --> 00:49:08,090
...So stumblest on my counsel?
641
00:49:08,630 --> 00:49:12,550
By a name
I know not how to tell thee who I am:
642
00:49:13,130 --> 00:49:18,640
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
Because it is an enemy to thee.
643
00:49:19,390 --> 00:49:21,640
(Wendy) My ears have not yet drunk...
644
00:49:21,720 --> 00:49:24,940
- That kid's a Seminole.
- Yeah, probably.
645
00:49:25,020 --> 00:49:28,310
(Wendy)
Are thou not Romeo, and a Montague?
646
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,820
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully:
647
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:36,820
Or if thou think'st I be too quickly won,
I'll frown and be perverse and say thee nay.
648
00:49:36,910 --> 00:49:40,790
- Lady, by yonder blessed moon...
- O swear not by the moon...
649
00:49:42,700 --> 00:49:46,120
That young man is not
of the American persuasion.
650
00:49:46,210 --> 00:49:48,080
(Wendy) My bounty is
as boundless as the sea...
651
00:49:48,170 --> 00:49:51,170
...My love as deep; the more I give to thee...
652
00:49:51,250 --> 00:49:53,960
...The more I have...
653
00:49:54,050 --> 00:49:56,760
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
654
00:49:57,010 --> 00:49:59,510
Good night, good night!
Parting is such sweet sorrow...
655
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,640
...That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
656
00:50:08,190 --> 00:50:10,020
(applause)
657
00:50:10,110 --> 00:50:12,190
(whistling)
658
00:50:14,860 --> 00:50:17,400
- Well?
- Didn't we tell you?
659
00:50:17,490 --> 00:50:23,540
I want the school board to cut off funds
for this extravaganza immediately.
660
00:50:23,620 --> 00:50:28,670
Well, we're not the school board. The school
board is an independently elected body.
661
00:50:28,750 --> 00:50:32,380
- We'll discuss it. I'll get back to you.
- This is ridiculous!
662
00:50:32,460 --> 00:50:38,220
Hell's a lot hotter than Angel Beach,
Mr Carter. You'll get quite a tan.
663
00:50:39,260 --> 00:50:41,510
I wouldn't worry too much about it.
664
00:50:46,890 --> 00:50:50,270
- Who's that guy?
- Commissioner Gebhardt. A friend of Dad's.
665
00:50:50,350 --> 00:50:54,530
- So what do you think?
- He's great. We got nothin' to worry about.
666
00:50:54,610 --> 00:50:57,320
- You know who's behind this.
- Yeah. Balbricker.
667
00:50:57,400 --> 00:50:59,740
Right. Now she gets hers.
668
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:04,120
Thomas! Hold it, Thomas!
669
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:14,710
- Billy.
- What's this?
670
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,670
- Blueprints.
- I know that. What are they of?
671
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,510
- Take a look.
- OK. There's the school.
672
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:26,100
OK. So this is the gym. So what?
673
00:51:26,180 --> 00:51:30,140
- So we take this snake...
- Jesus Christ! What the hell you doin'?!
674
00:51:30,230 --> 00:51:33,860
- You don't like snakes?
- I hate snakes! You know I hate snakes.
675
00:51:33,940 --> 00:51:38,070
- What are you gonna do? Kill her?
- It's just a rat snake. It's not poisonous.
676
00:52:05,390 --> 00:52:07,470
(laughter)
677
00:52:34,130 --> 00:52:40,130
(Balbricker)
¶ That old black magic has me in its spell
678
00:52:40,630 --> 00:52:46,350
¶ That old black magic that you weave so well
679
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:50,810
- Are you sure this is the one, Billy?
- It's that one right there.
680
00:52:52,890 --> 00:52:54,980
- You're sure?
- Yeah.
681
00:52:56,270 --> 00:52:57,980
Here we go.
682
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,610
¶ Aflame
683
00:53:00,780 --> 00:53:03,860
¶ With such a burning desire
684
00:53:03,950 --> 00:53:07,240
¶ That only your kiss, kiss, kiss
685
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,950
¶ Can put out the fire
686
00:53:10,240 --> 00:53:14,870
- OK, Billy, gimme the snake.
- Give you the snake?
687
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:17,790
Get your own fuckin' snake.
Give you the snake!
688
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:20,460
- I've got your snake right here.
- Here.
689
00:53:20,550 --> 00:53:25,220
¶ Oh, you're the lover I have waited for
690
00:53:25,300 --> 00:53:31,560
¶ The mate that fate had me created for
691
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:38,520
¶ And every time your lips meet mine
692
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:41,400
Get it outta here! Get it outta here!
693
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:46,320
- Put him in the goddamn hole!
- I want you to meet a friend of mine.
694
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:51,160
OK, come on.
695
00:53:51,990 --> 00:53:54,160
¶ In a spin
696
00:53:54,290 --> 00:53:56,960
¶ Lovin' that spin I'm in
697
00:53:57,370 --> 00:54:03,170
¶ Under that old black magic called...
698
00:54:03,260 --> 00:54:07,180
¶ Love
699
00:54:07,260 --> 00:54:08,970
One more turn and we'll go.
700
00:54:09,050 --> 00:54:10,930
(gurgling)
701
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:16,730
(gurgling)
702
00:54:24,740 --> 00:54:25,820
(hiss)
703
00:54:25,900 --> 00:54:27,990
(screams)
704
00:54:33,370 --> 00:54:35,870
(screaming)
705
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,040
What in the world?
706
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,090
(screaming)
707
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,130
(whimpering)
708
00:54:48,220 --> 00:54:51,100
(screaming)
709
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:54,220
No, it can't be. I fired them.
710
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:14,240
Excuse me.
711
00:55:14,330 --> 00:55:16,410
(screaming)
712
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,130
It's OK. Nothing to worry about.
713
00:55:22,500 --> 00:55:24,590
Just a little rat snake.
714
00:55:26,130 --> 00:55:27,590
No danger.
715
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,050
No problem, Coach. I'll let him go outside.
716
00:55:30,130 --> 00:55:32,680
Quick thinking, Turner. Good job, son.
717
00:55:34,310 --> 00:55:36,180
Turner!
718
00:55:36,770 --> 00:55:38,980
Turner!
719
00:55:39,310 --> 00:55:41,020
Beautiful.
720
00:55:41,230 --> 00:55:43,310
- Hang on to that.
- Jesus!
721
00:55:43,980 --> 00:55:45,940
God dammit!
722
00:55:46,030 --> 00:55:48,690
Turner, I'm gonna kill you! God dammit.
723
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:53,030
Turner!
724
00:55:53,410 --> 00:55:56,660
That's it. You're not gonna surrender to him.
725
00:55:56,740 --> 00:55:59,210
No Seminole ever surrendered!
726
00:55:59,290 --> 00:56:01,370
Go on! That's it!
727
00:56:01,460 --> 00:56:02,790
Go, go!
728
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:04,960
Oh, wait a minute. Wait!
729
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:09,300
That's good acting when you wanna
kill each other, but don't, huh?
730
00:56:09,380 --> 00:56:11,760
I think Hamlet's supposed to win this one.
731
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,220
- Sorry, I just got carried away.
- That's OK.
732
00:56:14,300 --> 00:56:16,180
(Carter) Oh, Mrs Morris.
733
00:56:16,260 --> 00:56:18,470
Mrs Morris.
734
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:20,980
I must have a couple of words
with the students.
735
00:56:21,060 --> 00:56:24,940
- We're in the middle of a rehearsal.
- It's very important.
736
00:56:25,020 --> 00:56:28,070
All right, folks.
Let's get up here, please. Quickly.
737
00:56:28,150 --> 00:56:31,700
Let's move it.
Folks, may we have your attention?
738
00:56:31,780 --> 00:56:35,410
Mr Carter has a few words. Come on, now.
739
00:56:35,830 --> 00:56:40,580
Thank you. I don't like to have to say this,
but I don't want you to be too distressed...
740
00:56:40,660 --> 00:56:45,210
...because I'm quite sure
it can be resolved perfectly justly.
741
00:56:45,380 --> 00:56:49,050
As you know, certain uninformed
factions have attempted...
742
00:56:49,130 --> 00:56:52,720
...to halt our production
of the scenes from Shakespeare.
743
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:57,050
They influenced the county commission
to address the school board...
744
00:56:57,140 --> 00:56:59,640
...and they have been granted a hearing.
745
00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:02,480
The superintendent of schools
has ordered me...
746
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:06,360
...to temporarily suspend
this production, pending that hearing.
747
00:57:07,270 --> 00:57:10,110
I understand how you feel.
Now, please listen.
748
00:57:10,190 --> 00:57:12,530
That is what I am doing officially.
749
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:17,700
However, there's absolutely nothing
to prevent you on you own...
750
00:57:17,780 --> 00:57:21,290
...continuing to practise as a class project.
751
00:57:21,370 --> 00:57:25,290
I assure you, we're going
to do everything we possibly can...
752
00:57:25,370 --> 00:57:28,840
...to put this "Evening with
Shakespeare" on the stage.
753
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:31,460
Thank you, and what's the phrase?
754
00:57:31,550 --> 00:57:33,420
Break a leg!
755
00:57:33,510 --> 00:57:36,220
- What a mess.
- Those bastards.
756
00:57:36,300 --> 00:57:37,430
It's ridiculous.
757
00:57:37,510 --> 00:57:41,470
The commissioners are closing
Shakespeare because they think it's dirty?
758
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:45,100
Those creeps watch skin flicks
every Saturday in the courthouse.
759
00:57:45,190 --> 00:57:48,230
- You're kidding!
- Commissioner Mason was caught...
760
00:57:48,310 --> 00:57:52,740
...exposing himself to his Bible school
class and they hushed it up.
761
00:57:52,820 --> 00:57:55,780
- Oh, God. How did you know that?
- Everybody knows that.
762
00:57:55,860 --> 00:57:58,490
- Well, don't worry about it.
- What do you mean?
763
00:57:58,570 --> 00:58:00,830
We got a friend in court, remember?
764
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:04,120
- Yeah, Commissioner, uh...
- Geb-fart.
765
00:58:04,540 --> 00:58:07,630
God, I love this. I just love it.
766
00:58:09,540 --> 00:58:13,590
I can't tell you how great it makes me feel
to see you great American kids...
767
00:58:13,670 --> 00:58:15,550
...fighting for what you think is right.
768
00:58:15,630 --> 00:58:19,680
And there's no question about
what's right here. This is ridiculous.
769
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:23,720
- But how can he do this?
- Well, he hasn't done anything yet.
770
00:58:23,810 --> 00:58:27,270
All he's done is petitioned
the school board for a hearing.
771
00:58:27,350 --> 00:58:30,980
- But they stopped the play.
- They haven't stopped anything yet.
772
00:58:31,070 --> 00:58:33,400
- You're still rehearsing.
- Yeah...
773
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:34,530
Right.
774
00:58:34,610 --> 00:58:40,030
You don't understand the politics behind this.
This is the way it's gonna work.
775
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:43,580
As you know, we've got an election
coming up in a couple of weeks.
776
00:58:43,660 --> 00:58:46,040
Flavel's got a few votes under his thumb...
777
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:49,130
...enough to scare a couple
of my fellow commissioners.
778
00:58:49,210 --> 00:58:51,500
So, what's the easy thing to do?
779
00:58:51,590 --> 00:58:54,300
We make Flavel happy. So...
780
00:58:54,380 --> 00:58:58,220
So the commission makes Flavel happy
by taking it to the school board.
781
00:58:58,300 --> 00:59:01,720
Right. Now the school board's
not up for re-election...
782
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,810
...so they turn the petition
down and you'll be happy.
783
00:59:04,890 --> 00:59:08,980
And the commission is
off the hook because... we tried.
784
00:59:11,940 --> 00:59:14,360
So how'd you get
the commissioners to go along?
785
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,400
Old-fashioned horse trading.
786
00:59:16,610 --> 00:59:22,070
Some fellow commissioners have a re-zoning
project on the line, and I'm the swing vote.
787
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:26,790
I really don't give a damn if they get
their re-zoning, but I can't let them know that.
788
00:59:26,870 --> 00:59:29,370
So I play hardball.
789
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:32,590
If they want my swing vote,
they have to help me.
790
00:59:32,670 --> 00:59:37,130
It's like the hip bone connected to the
thigh bone, thigh bone to the ankle bone...
791
00:59:37,210 --> 00:59:42,090
- It sounds like dirty pool to me.
- (Gebhardt chuckles) Well...
792
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:47,100
Well, now, little fella. Our great
American system is built on compromise.
793
00:59:47,180 --> 00:59:51,560
Everybody wants something. The trick is
to see that everybody gets a little piece.
794
00:59:51,650 --> 00:59:54,150
- You know what I mean?
- You bet he does.
795
00:59:56,150 --> 00:59:58,240
Now, you've got my word on this.
796
00:59:58,990 --> 01:00:02,910
I'm not gonna let some self-righteous
bullies deprive you of your play.
797
01:00:02,990 --> 01:00:05,950
Your principal is being notified right now...
798
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:11,290
...that the school board has okayed
the evening of Shakespeare.
799
01:00:11,370 --> 01:00:14,250
That's wonderful. Thank you very much.
800
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:17,590
Well, you gotta do somethin'
for the little guy.
801
01:00:17,670 --> 01:00:21,380
Oh, Commissioner.
Your meeting in five minutes.
802
01:00:21,470 --> 01:00:23,180
- Ah.
- OK.
803
01:00:23,260 --> 01:00:26,810
You kids go put on a hell of a play.
804
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:30,060
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
805
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:34,520
- Maybe I'll get invited to the opening night?
- Front row, centre.
806
01:00:40,990 --> 01:00:43,070
- Great guy.
- Yeah, he's swell(!)
807
01:00:49,750 --> 01:00:51,500
What's that?
808
01:00:51,580 --> 01:00:55,460
Reverend Flavel's petition
to stop the Shakespeare festival.
809
01:00:55,540 --> 01:00:58,050
- Five thousand signatures.
- Five thousand?
810
01:00:58,130 --> 01:01:04,090
Yeah, and every one of them prepared to
vote against you if things don't go their way.
811
01:01:07,390 --> 01:01:09,470
Set up a meeting with Flavel.
812
01:01:10,470 --> 01:01:12,230
Right.
813
01:01:12,310 --> 01:01:14,400
I thought so.
814
01:01:21,820 --> 01:01:23,900
The Klan!
815
01:01:31,330 --> 01:01:35,170
- What's goin' on? What happened?
- There's no need for you now.
816
01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:38,130
- Wait a minute. We're his friends.
- I'm his brother.
817
01:01:38,210 --> 01:01:42,130
- You should have been here on time.
- My truck wouldn't start.
818
01:01:42,210 --> 01:01:46,510
John's always waited for us to get here
before he came out to the road.
819
01:01:46,590 --> 01:01:50,430
Leave him alone. It was John's mistake.
820
01:01:53,980 --> 01:01:56,810
- How badly is he hurt?
- Just his pride.
821
01:01:57,560 --> 01:01:59,730
They tried to shave his head.
822
01:01:59,820 --> 01:02:03,650
A white man's little joke.
But their day is coming.
823
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:07,950
Whoa, buddy.
824
01:02:08,030 --> 01:02:10,450
Are you all right? You're sure, John?
825
01:02:12,790 --> 01:02:15,830
- I wanna go.
- (all) Let him go, man.
826
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:18,580
All right, go.
827
01:02:19,090 --> 01:02:22,880
- That oughta stir 'em up.
- Yeah, they oughta turn tail now.
828
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:25,420
(giggles)
829
01:02:25,510 --> 01:02:29,930
Look at them dirty redskins
attacking that poor, defenceless cross.
830
01:02:30,010 --> 01:02:31,350
(giggles)
831
01:02:31,430 --> 01:02:33,520
(drum roll)
832
01:02:37,020 --> 01:02:38,230
I will not yield...
833
01:02:38,310 --> 01:02:41,820
...To kiss the ground
beneath young Malcolm's feet.
834
01:02:41,900 --> 01:02:44,780
Though Birnam wood
be come to Dunsinane...
835
01:02:44,860 --> 01:02:47,780
...And thou oppos'd,
being of no woman born...
836
01:02:47,860 --> 01:02:50,320
...Yet I will try the last.
837
01:02:50,410 --> 01:02:52,490
Lay on, Macduff.
838
01:02:56,830 --> 01:03:00,840
And damned be he
that first cries "Hold, enough!"
839
01:03:31,990 --> 01:03:34,580
(laughter)
840
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:39,290
- My sword broke.
- His sword broke!
841
01:03:39,460 --> 01:03:42,210
- A sword!
- A sword!
842
01:03:42,290 --> 01:03:45,000
His kingdom for a sword!
843
01:03:45,090 --> 01:03:47,880
Get him a sword!
844
01:03:47,970 --> 01:03:51,970
A sword! A sword, a sword, a sword!
845
01:03:52,050 --> 01:03:55,060
- (Brian) I don't have a sword.
- What do you mean?
846
01:03:55,140 --> 01:03:58,890
- (Brian) Just kill him. Kill him!
- With what?
847
01:04:01,270 --> 01:04:03,360
A sword! A sword!
848
01:04:04,190 --> 01:04:07,230
A sword! A sword!
849
01:04:08,860 --> 01:04:10,780
A sword!
850
01:04:11,030 --> 01:04:13,700
- Billy, I got a sword.
- A sword!
851
01:04:41,980 --> 01:04:44,060
(John yells)
852
01:04:50,240 --> 01:04:52,320
(Tommy) Stab him.
853
01:04:56,120 --> 01:04:58,080
Stab him!
854
01:04:58,160 --> 01:05:01,660
Just kill me, John. John! John!
855
01:05:01,750 --> 01:05:03,830
Aw, shit!
856
01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:08,000
Stab!
857
01:05:08,090 --> 01:05:10,880
Will you stab me? Just stick it in, John!
858
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:20,220
(whistling)
859
01:05:24,650 --> 01:05:26,730
(laughter and cheering)
860
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:47,960
(cackles)
861
01:05:51,340 --> 01:05:56,090
Now the hungry lion roars,
And the wolf behowls the moon;
862
01:05:56,180 --> 01:06:01,270
As this heavy ploughman snores,
All the weary task fordone.
863
01:06:02,730 --> 01:06:06,350
Now the wasted brands do glow...
864
01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:09,400
...Whilst the screech owl, screeching loud...
865
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:12,940
...Does put the wretch that lies in woe
To the remembrance of a shroud.
866
01:06:21,370 --> 01:06:23,450
Flock! Follow.
867
01:06:26,790 --> 01:06:30,040
Not a mouse
Shall disturb this hallowed house:
868
01:06:30,130 --> 01:06:34,510
For I am sent with broom before,
To sweep the dust behind the door.
869
01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:51,730
If we have unearned luck
So to 'scape the serpent's tongue...
870
01:06:51,980 --> 01:06:55,860
...We will make amends ere long;
Or else Puck...
871
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:10,380
- (Wendy) It's the cops!
- Whoa, what's this? What's goin' on here?
872
01:07:13,170 --> 01:07:15,670
I am the principal and I will take care of this.
873
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:18,340
Ladies and gentlemen, one moment, please.
874
01:07:18,430 --> 01:07:22,350
These learned people, the Righteous Flock,
in their infinite wisdom...
875
01:07:22,430 --> 01:07:28,560
...have decreed that the works of William
Shakespeare, the pearl of English literature...
876
01:07:28,770 --> 01:07:34,150
...are unfit to be performed by our students
and too indecent to be viewed by you.
877
01:07:34,230 --> 01:07:35,860
(groans of protest)
878
01:07:35,940 --> 01:07:40,030
However... However,
my good friends, I assure you...
879
01:07:40,110 --> 01:07:42,320
...we have not yet begun to fight.
880
01:07:44,410 --> 01:07:46,500
Thank you. Thank you.
881
01:07:47,910 --> 01:07:49,210
Thank you!
882
01:07:49,710 --> 01:07:51,790
Good night. Good night...
883
01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:55,250
...and we'll see you all again... very soon.
884
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:04,930
- Who do you think you're talkin' to?
- A hypocrite.
885
01:08:05,010 --> 01:08:07,430
You care nothing about matters of the spirit.
886
01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:10,640
You just wanna control
other people's lives, you fascist!
887
01:08:10,810 --> 01:08:15,780
We have dealt with the filth. I can see we will
now have to deal with the purveyors of filth.
888
01:08:15,860 --> 01:08:19,570
- Hey, deal with this.
- You whelp of Satan!
889
01:08:19,650 --> 01:08:23,660
No one speaks to me that way.
You better get a grip on yourself, boy.
890
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:34,130
Bye, Reverend.
891
01:08:34,210 --> 01:08:37,340
Anthony, that wasn't entirely helpful.
892
01:08:38,170 --> 01:08:40,260
(applause)
893
01:08:40,550 --> 01:08:43,260
Now, as I say, we have a warrant here...
894
01:08:43,340 --> 01:08:46,220
...charging the Angel Beach High
drama club...
895
01:08:46,310 --> 01:08:50,350
...with public presentation
of obscene material.
896
01:08:51,020 --> 01:08:55,820
Of course, we have no need to press
this warrant. That was never our intent.
897
01:08:55,900 --> 01:08:58,530
These innocent children aren't to blame.
898
01:08:58,610 --> 01:09:01,900
- Do you believe this guy?
- He's a deeply religious man(!)
899
01:09:01,990 --> 01:09:04,200
Yeah, and rich.
900
01:09:04,410 --> 01:09:08,160
We were the voice cryin' in the wilderness.
901
01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:11,210
And we were heard by the mayor...
902
01:09:11,290 --> 01:09:16,290
...and the God-fearin' members of the county
commission, who voted unanimously...
903
01:09:16,380 --> 01:09:19,130
...to bring this corruption to a halt.
904
01:09:19,210 --> 01:09:22,590
(reporter) Does your warrant
apply to all plays by the drama club?
905
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:26,140
(Flavel) My warrant applies
to all plays by any drama club...
906
01:09:26,220 --> 01:09:28,260
That lousy son of a bitch.
907
01:09:28,350 --> 01:09:31,520
Gebhardt's leg bone got connected
to Flavel's foot bone.
908
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:34,850
And they both got shoved up our asses.
I knew it.
909
01:09:34,940 --> 01:09:37,480
Fellow Americans! Fellow Americans...
910
01:09:37,570 --> 01:09:40,820
The Righteous Flock denounces you.
You have no part in this.
911
01:09:40,900 --> 01:09:44,490
The God-fearin' members
of the Klan support this action.
912
01:09:45,820 --> 01:09:49,330
The mixin' of nigger
and Injun blood must stop.
913
01:09:49,410 --> 01:09:52,080
- God, I think I'm gonna puke.
- Me too.
914
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:54,870
...mustn't stand for this.
- Get out of here!
915
01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:59,960
- The Righteous Flock denounces this...
- Sister, please!
916
01:10:00,050 --> 01:10:06,140
Friends, tomorrow night there will be
a giant rally here at Angel Beach...
917
01:10:06,220 --> 01:10:11,140
...to announce future steps
we will take to preserve moral decency.
918
01:10:11,930 --> 01:10:14,520
Amen! Amen, brother!
919
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:17,400
The Loyal Order of the Klan will be there!
920
01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:22,650
- Here comes the son of a bitch.
- Pretend you understand why he did it.
921
01:10:22,740 --> 01:10:25,990
- What are you talkin' about?
- Just do it! I'll explain later.
922
01:10:26,070 --> 01:10:30,200
- This is exhausting!
- All tuckered out from playin' hardball?
923
01:10:32,330 --> 01:10:36,460
I was afraid you were gonna misunderstand.
I had to make a tactical retreat.
924
01:10:36,540 --> 01:10:39,460
If I'd hung in there,
you'd have no friend in court.
925
01:10:39,920 --> 01:10:42,880
Friend in court? Gee, that has a familiar ring.
926
01:10:43,130 --> 01:10:45,220
I said "retreat", not "surrender".
927
01:10:45,300 --> 01:10:48,640
He's a fanatic. Give him two weeks,
he's gonna bury himself.
928
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:51,220
- Right after the election, hm?
- Yeah.
929
01:10:51,310 --> 01:10:55,270
Apparently you don't believe me,
but I was working in your best interests.
930
01:10:55,350 --> 01:10:59,610
Look, votes don't mean a thing to me
if I can't maintain my own integrity.
931
01:10:59,690 --> 01:11:02,530
Look, we understand.
It's not the end of the world.
932
01:11:02,610 --> 01:11:05,240
Everybody's just a little disappointed.
933
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:07,410
I know. I understand. I know.
934
01:11:07,490 --> 01:11:11,830
Wendy, let me talk to you. I want to
explain what it is I'm trying to accomplish...
935
01:11:11,910 --> 01:11:15,540
...then you can relay it to the fellas. OK?
- OK.
936
01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:19,130
I know what he's trying to accomplish.
937
01:11:19,250 --> 01:11:22,920
Mrs Balbricker, be silent!
I have spoken on this matter.
938
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,800
What is at stake justifies
anything we have to do.
939
01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:29,970
Well, then, I won't be there. It's indecent.
940
01:11:30,590 --> 01:11:34,140
Remember, he who is not
with me is against me.
941
01:11:34,220 --> 01:11:36,310
Bubba!
942
01:11:38,230 --> 01:11:40,310
(man) Tell us, Reverend.
943
01:11:41,110 --> 01:11:45,150
Friends, it's OK. It's all right.
Don't forget tomorrow night.
944
01:11:51,870 --> 01:11:55,120
- This is more fun than puttin' on a play.
- Bite your tongue.
945
01:11:55,200 --> 01:11:58,000
OK, guys. What are we gonna do?
946
01:11:59,420 --> 01:12:03,210
Well, I think for once we should
be thoughtful, mature and adult.
947
01:12:03,290 --> 01:12:06,090
- (sniggering)
- No, no. Tommy's right.
948
01:12:06,550 --> 01:12:10,720
We got a problem. It's time we grew up
and we solved it in an adult manner.
949
01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:12,850
Right. Let's go right to the top.
950
01:12:12,930 --> 01:12:17,930
What would Eisenhower do if the Russians
behaved as the Righteous Flock has?
951
01:12:18,020 --> 01:12:21,850
- Cut the fuckers' nuts off.
- Right.
952
01:12:21,940 --> 01:12:25,070
- Any more questions?
- Not a one.
953
01:12:25,780 --> 01:12:28,820
- Let's get backstage for battle plans.
- Yeah.
954
01:12:32,620 --> 01:12:35,120
- (Tommy) And him too!
- I don't like him.
955
01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:38,120
- What did he have to say?
- Nothing much.
956
01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:41,290
- He's takin' me to dinner.
- Whoa, whoa. Dinner?
957
01:12:41,370 --> 01:12:45,040
He's takin' me to a nice,
discreet restaurant down in Miami.
958
01:12:45,130 --> 01:12:48,920
- What are you up to?
- Revenge. What are you up to?
959
01:12:49,010 --> 01:12:52,680
- Sounds good to me.
- Yeah, but this time no explosives.
960
01:12:52,760 --> 01:12:55,100
- I don't get it.
- Nobody tells me nothin'.
961
01:12:55,350 --> 01:12:59,350
Commissioner. Commissioner,
you're takin' that kid to dinner?
962
01:12:59,430 --> 01:13:02,060
Just gonna put another notch
in my six-shooter.
963
01:13:02,140 --> 01:13:05,060
For God's sake, we have
an election in just over a week.
964
01:13:05,150 --> 01:13:08,070
Don't worry.
I'm takin' her all the way to Miami.
965
01:13:08,150 --> 01:13:11,030
But, Commissioner, she is only 17 years old.
966
01:13:11,110 --> 01:13:14,280
Oh, yeah? Then I'll only put
half a notch in my gun.
967
01:13:45,480 --> 01:13:49,900
- I hope this is better than the last one.
- At least we can see this one.
968
01:13:50,030 --> 01:13:52,400
Wow! Look at that fancy costume!
969
01:13:52,490 --> 01:13:56,370
That guy's wearing argyle socks.
Must be a high-budgetjob.
970
01:13:56,450 --> 01:14:00,040
This director must be
the Cecil B De Mille of pussy film.
971
01:14:01,080 --> 01:14:03,160
Man, that woman is ugly.
972
01:14:03,250 --> 01:14:05,420
Hose her down, boy! Hose her down.
973
01:14:06,170 --> 01:14:09,130
Whoo whoopee! Look at them tits.
974
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:13,420
Holy shit!
Look at the dick on that son of a bitch!
975
01:14:13,510 --> 01:14:15,220
(laughter)
976
01:14:15,300 --> 01:14:18,180
Mayor, that guy's dork is bigger than yours.
977
01:14:19,310 --> 01:14:24,390
Hey, mayor! If you had a cape like that,
you could give your secretary a flyin' fuck.
978
01:14:25,270 --> 01:14:28,110
- Look at that snatch!
- (laughter)
979
01:14:28,190 --> 01:14:31,280
Did Reverend Flavel approve of this one?
980
01:14:31,360 --> 01:14:34,860
Approve of it?
Are you shittin'me? He gave me this one!
981
01:14:38,450 --> 01:14:40,660
(guy #1) That stuff looks like diarrhoea.
982
01:14:40,740 --> 01:14:42,830
(guy #2) Only worse.
983
01:14:45,250 --> 01:14:48,540
(French accent)
And now, for the grand experiment.
984
01:14:48,630 --> 01:14:50,710
Oh, no. Oh, no.
985
01:14:51,670 --> 01:14:55,220
Wait a minute.
As you know, I am the barf inspector.
986
01:14:55,300 --> 01:14:57,840
I gotta make sure
it has exactly the right plop.
987
01:14:57,930 --> 01:15:00,930
Barf inspector comin' through!
Excuse me. Careful.
988
01:15:01,010 --> 01:15:04,930
- This couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
- X marks the spot. Let her rip!
989
01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:07,850
Bleuugh!
990
01:15:09,190 --> 01:15:13,320
- Right in the eye. OK, more corn.
- Corn. Corn. Corn.
991
01:15:15,070 --> 01:15:17,200
Corn, corn, corn.
992
01:15:28,330 --> 01:15:32,460
Please, madame.
At La Fontana di Voglio, everyone waits.
993
01:15:32,550 --> 01:15:36,220
Please, to the back of the line.
Merci, thank you very much.
994
01:15:36,300 --> 01:15:38,590
- Ah, Monsieur Gebhardt.
- Alex.
995
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:40,760
How good to see you, monsieur.
996
01:15:41,430 --> 01:15:44,520
We are expecting a guest
this evening, I presume?
997
01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:46,680
You presume correctly.
998
01:15:46,770 --> 01:15:50,980
And at what time is your sister arriving?
Or is it your cousin this time?
999
01:15:51,060 --> 01:15:57,150
- Actually, this one's more like my niece.
- (laughs) But of course, monsieur. Of course.
1000
01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:02,410
Du vin?
1001
01:16:16,130 --> 01:16:19,010
(¶ crowd sings "Onward Christian Soldiers")
1002
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:27,270
- Is everything all set?
- All set.
1003
01:16:27,350 --> 01:16:29,640
- This is gonna be good.
- Go get 'em, Billy.
1004
01:16:29,730 --> 01:16:32,060
- Is my hood on straight?
- Can you see?
1005
01:16:32,150 --> 01:16:35,650
- Yeah.
- Then your hood's on straight, stupid!
1006
01:16:35,730 --> 01:16:37,900
Everybody's a fuckin' comedian.
1007
01:16:38,030 --> 01:16:41,110
- They oughta be here soon.
- I'm goin' down the road.
1008
01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:43,280
You be careful!
1009
01:17:00,340 --> 01:17:03,930
Where the hell are they? They sh...
1010
01:17:04,010 --> 01:17:06,310
Oh. OK, guys, be careful.
1011
01:17:09,770 --> 01:17:11,640
Where's Mickey?
1012
01:17:15,690 --> 01:17:17,900
Where the hell is he?
1013
01:17:19,690 --> 01:17:22,950
- Hey, you Klan pricks!
- OK, guys. Let's go.
1014
01:17:23,030 --> 01:17:27,950
Yeah, you. Why don't you boys go on home
and choke your chicken and beat your kids?
1015
01:17:28,040 --> 01:17:30,580
(Mickey) That's your speed.
1016
01:17:30,660 --> 01:17:33,460
Excuse me. Have you met my friend Meat?
1017
01:17:33,540 --> 01:17:38,920
Go screw your wives! You'll have to wake 'em
up and tell 'em what you're doin', though.
1018
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:43,090
(Billy with redneck accent)
Forget him. Let's get to the meetin'.
1019
01:17:55,860 --> 01:17:58,650
Hey, where you goin'? The rally's this way.
1020
01:18:01,190 --> 01:18:03,280
Shortcut.
1021
01:18:16,380 --> 01:18:19,090
(Klansman) What the hell is goin' on here?
1022
01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:27,930
(Tommy) Evenin', boys.
1023
01:18:28,010 --> 01:18:30,100
- Howdy.
- Welcome, fellas.
1024
01:18:30,930 --> 01:18:33,350
We thought you might like to meet our friend.
1025
01:18:33,430 --> 01:18:35,900
Say what?
1026
01:18:38,690 --> 01:18:41,570
- Yeah, I remember him.
- (laughter)
1027
01:18:41,650 --> 01:18:45,240
You... You did a mighty
fine job on him, Eustace!
1028
01:18:46,110 --> 01:18:49,240
The stingy little fucker wouldn't leave no tip.
1029
01:18:50,910 --> 01:18:54,290
Well, now, in lieu of a tip,
why don't we just return the favour?
1030
01:18:54,790 --> 01:18:57,580
Louisville tit? What did he say?
1031
01:18:57,670 --> 01:19:01,000
- What did you say, boy?
- Why don't we give you a trim?
1032
01:19:01,130 --> 01:19:04,590
Oh, you snotnoses are gonna give us a trim?
1033
01:19:08,510 --> 01:19:12,010
- Us and a few of our friends.
- A few of these friends here.
1034
01:19:17,140 --> 01:19:21,730
Well, you better bring the army, boy.
Bring the whole fuckin' US cavalry.
1035
01:19:22,020 --> 01:19:25,190
Actually, we had something
slightly different in mind.
1036
01:19:25,280 --> 01:19:27,450
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
1037
01:19:32,740 --> 01:19:36,540
Aw, shit! They're all fuckin' Indians.
1038
01:19:39,750 --> 01:19:43,170
Aw, shit. Oh, that's a lot of Injuns.
1039
01:19:46,760 --> 01:19:49,640
They ain't happy. These Injuns ain't happy.
1040
01:19:50,680 --> 01:19:53,220
Well, now. Don't be shy.
1041
01:19:53,810 --> 01:19:55,890
Excuse me.
1042
01:19:56,680 --> 01:19:58,520
Hi.
1043
01:19:58,600 --> 01:20:00,900
In view of your status in the community...
1044
01:20:00,980 --> 01:20:04,230
...we've imported a special
gentleman to give you your clip.
1045
01:20:04,320 --> 01:20:06,860
- Allow me.
- I'd like you to meet Brian Schwartz.
1046
01:20:06,940 --> 01:20:09,030
He's Jewish. He's our mohel for the day.
1047
01:20:09,110 --> 01:20:13,410
What, you may ask, is a mohel?
Good question. A mohel is a Jewish barber.
1048
01:20:14,120 --> 01:20:17,040
- But not exactly.
- Ask him what a mohel is exactly.
1049
01:20:17,120 --> 01:20:20,330
- Come on!
- Go on, ask him.
1050
01:20:20,420 --> 01:20:23,540
- What in hell's a mohel?
- I thought you would never ask.
1051
01:20:23,630 --> 01:20:26,460
Do you remember when you had your bris?
1052
01:20:26,550 --> 01:20:29,430
Probably a barbecue and a bris in your case.
1053
01:20:29,590 --> 01:20:32,470
- Go on, ask him what a bris is.
- What in the fuck is a bris?
1054
01:20:32,550 --> 01:20:35,470
Good question.
Well, a bris is a circumcision...
1055
01:20:35,560 --> 01:20:38,890
...and a mohel is a man
who performs a bris or circumcision.
1056
01:20:38,980 --> 01:20:42,480
And this instrument is a zemel.
1057
01:20:42,980 --> 01:20:47,150
And a zemel is used
by a mohel to perform the... bris.
1058
01:20:49,360 --> 01:20:51,280
- Would you hold that?
- Absolutely.
1059
01:20:51,360 --> 01:20:56,160
Now, this zemel has been used to chop
off literally hundreds of foreskins.
1060
01:20:56,240 --> 01:20:58,080
- Hundreds.
- Amen.
1061
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:01,620
What better to shave the heads
of a bunch of pricks like you?
1062
01:21:02,670 --> 01:21:06,170
- The fuck you will!
- That's it. That...
1063
01:21:14,640 --> 01:21:17,390
(Klansman) Sit down, Ansell. Sit down.
1064
01:21:20,890 --> 01:21:23,100
Line up, boys.
1065
01:21:23,190 --> 01:21:26,110
Say, now. This is gettin'
out of hand here, boys.
1066
01:21:26,190 --> 01:21:29,400
Let's talk this over, OK?
I tell you what we're gonna do.
1067
01:21:30,440 --> 01:21:32,820
We're gonna let you off this time, OK?
1068
01:21:32,910 --> 01:21:37,370
You're gonna get out of here and we don't
wanna see you around here no more.
1069
01:21:37,450 --> 01:21:40,120
- That a deal?
- Yeah, now that's fair, ain't it?
1070
01:21:40,200 --> 01:21:42,290
You gotta admit, that is fair.
1071
01:21:43,080 --> 01:21:45,040
(all) Naaah.
1072
01:21:45,130 --> 01:21:46,540
Line up, boys.
1073
01:21:46,630 --> 01:21:51,260
We'll most certainly have
to retire this zemel after this job.
1074
01:21:58,260 --> 01:22:00,350
(car backfires)
1075
01:22:21,450 --> 01:22:23,540
(liquid gurgles)
1076
01:22:25,420 --> 01:22:28,380
- Madame, we'll wait.
- That will be grand.
1077
01:22:43,600 --> 01:22:46,690
You sly devil. I just can't stand it.
1078
01:22:47,060 --> 01:22:50,230
I'll have you know
I'm the guest of Big Bobby Gebhardt...
1079
01:22:50,320 --> 01:22:53,150
...County Commissioner of Seward County.
1080
01:22:53,240 --> 01:22:56,780
- You better take me to his table pronto.
- What is the problem?
1081
01:22:57,110 --> 01:23:00,620
I happen to be the guest
of Big Bob Gebhardt...
1082
01:23:00,700 --> 01:23:04,580
...County Commissioner
of Seward County, and a very big deal.
1083
01:23:04,660 --> 01:23:07,420
You better take me to his table pronto.
1084
01:23:07,710 --> 01:23:12,000
- Are you sure it's Commissioner Gebhardt?
- Move it, dildo breath!
1085
01:23:13,460 --> 01:23:18,510
Giddyup! Yee-haa.
Whoa, what an ass! Va va va voom.
1086
01:23:19,800 --> 01:23:23,640
¶ Bobby! Oh, Bobby!
1087
01:23:23,720 --> 01:23:27,650
¶ Little Bobby Gebhardt, where are you?
1088
01:23:28,100 --> 01:23:32,320
¶ It's your little snatchy-poo
1089
01:23:32,940 --> 01:23:37,450
What are you waitin' around for?
Roll 'em out! Git along, little dogies.
1090
01:23:37,530 --> 01:23:41,160
Whoa! We're here, jackass!
1091
01:23:43,660 --> 01:23:46,540
Bobby. Baby.
1092
01:23:49,880 --> 01:23:51,210
Oh, my God.
1093
01:23:53,710 --> 01:23:55,760
- Oh, my God.
- (Wendy shrieks)
1094
01:23:55,840 --> 01:23:58,510
Ai-ai-ai!
1095
01:23:59,840 --> 01:24:02,720
What... What are you doin'? Are you crazy?
1096
01:24:02,810 --> 01:24:04,930
I'm crazy for you, you big horse.
1097
01:24:05,020 --> 01:24:07,100
I want a drink. Gar-con!
1098
01:24:08,350 --> 01:24:11,310
Gar-con! What's the matter?
Don't you speak French?
1099
01:24:11,400 --> 01:24:12,690
Yeah. Oui, oui.
1100
01:24:12,770 --> 01:24:17,530
Well, get me a drink. It's my birthday today.
1101
01:24:17,950 --> 01:24:20,030
I'm 17 today.
1102
01:24:20,820 --> 01:24:23,530
Golly, 17!
1103
01:24:23,620 --> 01:24:25,410
(whispers) Don't say 17.
1104
01:24:25,620 --> 01:24:28,620
Sweet 17 and never been kissed.
1105
01:24:30,040 --> 01:24:32,540
That kid is, uh, 23. 20.
1106
01:24:32,630 --> 01:24:34,960
Where does the time go?
1107
01:24:35,050 --> 01:24:39,970
Why, do you realise
I was only 14 when we first met?
1108
01:24:40,340 --> 01:24:43,390
I don't know her. Isn't this crazy?
1109
01:24:43,640 --> 01:24:49,440
It was so romantic. I was a Brownie
in his wife's Girl Scout troop.
1110
01:24:49,890 --> 01:24:53,560
- You swine!
- (Wendy) Gimme a Shirley Temple.
1111
01:24:59,360 --> 01:25:01,240
It's my niece. She does it all the time.
1112
01:25:01,320 --> 01:25:04,620
You should have seen her
last year at the Elks Club.
1113
01:25:05,370 --> 01:25:10,040
Hey, what are you doin' with my boa?
Are you some kind of sickie? Pervert!
1114
01:25:13,080 --> 01:25:15,170
Very cute. Well, I'm leaving.
1115
01:25:15,340 --> 01:25:17,630
Get out of that chair and I'll yell "rape".
1116
01:25:17,710 --> 01:25:19,880
- You'll what?
- I'll yell "rape".
1117
01:25:21,010 --> 01:25:23,090
You're bluffing.
1118
01:25:26,560 --> 01:25:29,230
(screeches) Rape! Rape!
1119
01:25:29,730 --> 01:25:33,810
Oh, Bobby, don't leave me.
I can't have our baby alone.
1120
01:25:38,610 --> 01:25:41,950
My daughter's so funny. She's just wild.
1121
01:25:43,570 --> 01:25:47,450
How's that grab you?
Now sit there and take your medicine.
1122
01:25:48,240 --> 01:25:50,410
She never stops. She's so wicked.
1123
01:25:50,620 --> 01:25:53,370
(¶ crowd sings
"Stand Up, Stand Up For Jesus")
1124
01:25:53,500 --> 01:25:56,090
(Flavel)
Yes, that's it. That's right, brother.
1125
01:25:56,170 --> 01:25:59,380
Let's all stand up for Jesus.
1126
01:25:59,460 --> 01:26:03,430
¶ Till every foe is vanquished
1127
01:26:03,510 --> 01:26:07,350
¶ And Christ is Lord indeed
1128
01:26:07,430 --> 01:26:11,850
¶ Stand up, stand up for Jesus
1129
01:26:11,930 --> 01:26:16,020
¶ Ye soldiers of the cross
1130
01:26:16,110 --> 01:26:20,440
¶ Lift high his royal banner
1131
01:26:20,530 --> 01:26:24,910
¶ It must not suffer loss
1132
01:26:25,070 --> 01:26:29,620
¶ From victory unto victory
1133
01:26:29,700 --> 01:26:33,910
¶ His army shall he lead
1134
01:26:34,000 --> 01:26:38,540
¶ Till every foe is vanquished
1135
01:26:38,840 --> 01:26:43,420
¶ And Christ is Lord indeed
1136
01:26:43,510 --> 01:26:47,640
Thank you, brothers,
for that inspirational hymn about Jesus.
1137
01:26:48,850 --> 01:26:51,180
And now, friends, as I was say...
1138
01:26:59,570 --> 01:27:01,980
As I was sayin'...
1139
01:27:11,870 --> 01:27:13,750
(screaming)
1140
01:27:13,830 --> 01:27:15,660
Good Lord.
1141
01:27:20,710 --> 01:27:22,960
- Is this part of the show?
- I don't know.
1142
01:27:26,880 --> 01:27:28,510
(laughter)
1143
01:27:29,260 --> 01:27:33,350
- What a bunch of assholes.
- Do you recognise any of them?
1144
01:27:33,430 --> 01:27:36,560
Hold it! Hold, I say.
1145
01:27:36,640 --> 01:27:38,770
Stand, I say.
1146
01:27:39,730 --> 01:27:44,110
Behold, the spawn of Satan.
1147
01:27:45,150 --> 01:27:48,200
The bowels of perdition.
1148
01:27:48,700 --> 01:27:53,950
- Hear my words. I speak salvation.
- Right, get ready.
1149
01:27:54,290 --> 01:27:57,120
- I speak redemption.
- Now!
1150
01:27:58,290 --> 01:28:01,130
Verily I say this to thee.
1151
01:28:01,210 --> 01:28:05,670
(commissioner on tape) Holy shit!
Look at the dick on that son of a bitch!
1152
01:28:05,760 --> 01:28:06,800
(laughs)
1153
01:28:11,390 --> 01:28:14,720
Mayor, that guy's dork is bigger than yours.
1154
01:28:15,720 --> 01:28:21,730
Hey, mayor! If you had a cape like that,
you could give your secretary a flyin'fuck.
1155
01:28:22,650 --> 01:28:26,650
- Look at that snatch!
- Oh, mother.
1156
01:28:29,990 --> 01:28:34,950
- Did Reverend Flavel approve of this one?
- You scum!
1157
01:28:35,040 --> 01:28:38,370
Approve?
Hell, Reverend Flavel gave me this one!
1158
01:28:39,330 --> 01:28:41,920
I can explain it to you. Let me tell you.
1159
01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:44,090
(crowd jeers)
1160
01:28:47,210 --> 01:28:50,760
It's all right. I swear it's gonna be OK.
1161
01:28:50,970 --> 01:28:54,260
It's the goddamn communist...
(words are drowned out)
1162
01:28:57,350 --> 01:29:01,230
Those sons of bitches...
You son of a bitch! You get out of here.
1163
01:29:01,810 --> 01:29:06,070
I told you to get out!
I tell ya, it's gonna be OK.
1164
01:29:06,650 --> 01:29:09,530
Awwww, shit!
1165
01:29:35,810 --> 01:29:37,890
God, I needed that.
1166
01:29:39,640 --> 01:29:43,850
Oh, don't worry.
Commissioner Gebhardt'll pay for it.
1167
01:29:43,980 --> 01:29:47,320
He's county commissioner
of Seward County, for piss sakes.
1168
01:29:48,940 --> 01:29:53,530
You don't think he's gonna stick ya
for a 50-cent drink, for piss sakes?
1169
01:29:54,530 --> 01:29:56,870
Hey, waiter!
1170
01:29:57,790 --> 01:30:00,290
Hey, waiter!
1171
01:30:00,790 --> 01:30:02,870
Hey, waiter.
1172
01:30:02,960 --> 01:30:06,840
Put shit face's drink here
on Commissioner Gebhardt's bill.
1173
01:30:07,710 --> 01:30:10,760
For piss sakes, he's up
for re-election in two weeks.
1174
01:30:10,840 --> 01:30:13,220
Do you think he needs this shit?
1175
01:30:15,340 --> 01:30:19,930
- She's crazy.
- Your ass sucks canal water, buddy.
1176
01:30:22,020 --> 01:30:25,810
Oh, there's my Shirley Temple.
1177
01:30:25,900 --> 01:30:28,610
Hey, where's my cherry?
1178
01:30:29,400 --> 01:30:31,490
Who got my cherry?
1179
01:30:31,940 --> 01:30:35,160
Bobby. Bob, Bob, Bobby.
1180
01:30:35,530 --> 01:30:38,160
Bobby! Bobby!
1181
01:30:38,870 --> 01:30:41,700
Bobby, I lost my cherry.
1182
01:30:43,250 --> 01:30:45,210
Bobby...
1183
01:30:45,290 --> 01:30:48,880
...did you get my cherry again?
1184
01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:51,630
You saucy little devil.
1185
01:30:51,710 --> 01:30:55,010
You can't get a girl's cherry twice.
1186
01:30:55,090 --> 01:30:57,550
You sly goose.
1187
01:30:58,470 --> 01:31:00,560
(screams)
1188
01:31:14,200 --> 01:31:16,700
Oh, my God.
1189
01:31:24,660 --> 01:31:27,250
Oh, Bobby... Bobby!
1190
01:31:27,960 --> 01:31:31,710
Bobby, I think I'm gonna be... sick.
1191
01:31:32,170 --> 01:31:34,260
Don't be sick.
1192
01:31:35,880 --> 01:31:38,220
Bobby, I am. I'm gonna be...
1193
01:31:41,180 --> 01:31:44,270
Not the pool. No, not the pool.
1194
01:31:58,030 --> 01:32:00,740
Back to Howard Johnson's.
1195
01:32:37,950 --> 01:32:40,740
Boy, it sure tastes better goin' down.
1196
01:32:42,870 --> 01:32:45,370
Well, I feel better now.
1197
01:32:46,660 --> 01:32:48,660
Bye.
1198
01:32:49,120 --> 01:32:51,210
Oh, my bag.
1199
01:32:54,340 --> 01:32:56,670
Well, farewell!
1200
01:32:59,680 --> 01:33:01,760
Ben, what's goin' on?
1201
01:33:05,430 --> 01:33:08,730
I will sue you!
You will not have a pot to piss in!
1202
01:33:08,810 --> 01:33:10,900
Look!
1203
01:33:12,480 --> 01:33:14,400
(yells)
1204
01:33:15,690 --> 01:33:17,780
(air wheezes out)
1205
01:33:18,820 --> 01:33:22,820
My tit! You broke my tit!
1206
01:33:22,990 --> 01:33:26,540
I'm gonna sue you! Where are my lawyers?
1207
01:33:27,540 --> 01:33:32,290
- Come on, boys. Pictures! I want pictures!
- Say "I'm ruined".
1208
01:33:32,580 --> 01:33:36,710
- Oh, shit.
- Another one. More pictures. This is nice.
1209
01:33:42,680 --> 01:33:45,510
Good luck in the election.
I'll see you at the polls.
1210
01:33:45,600 --> 01:33:48,890
This is the most disgusting display
I have ever seen.
1211
01:33:48,970 --> 01:33:51,480
(as Bette Davis) What a dump! We're leaving.
1212
01:33:53,940 --> 01:33:56,570
¶ We're off to see the Wizard
1213
01:33:56,650 --> 01:33:58,280
¶ The wonderful Wizard of Oz
1214
01:33:58,360 --> 01:34:00,070
¶ Because, because, because
1215
01:34:00,150 --> 01:34:02,070
¶ Because of the wonderful things he does
1216
01:34:03,360 --> 01:34:05,570
¶ We're off to see the Wizard...
1217
01:34:32,100 --> 01:34:34,100
(¶ brass band music)
1218
01:35:24,320 --> 01:35:28,910
- Good luck in the election, Commissioner.
- Let me discuss the issues with you.
1219
01:35:28,990 --> 01:35:31,870
- Commissioner Couch. Republican.
- Yeah.
1220
01:35:31,950 --> 01:35:33,790
Good luck in the elections.
1221
01:35:35,620 --> 01:35:39,420
Wait! Wait, don't go. Stop! Stop.
1222
01:35:39,540 --> 01:35:42,170
Stop. Now, don't go. Wait! Wait!
1223
01:35:42,380 --> 01:35:45,340
Stop. Stop. Stop!
1224
01:35:47,430 --> 01:35:49,510
April Fool!
1225
01:36:10,910 --> 01:36:16,120
What the hell are you hittin' me for?
Lady, I'm warnin' you. Don't hit me no more...
1226
01:36:18,920 --> 01:36:21,000
Well, I warned you.
1227
01:36:21,590 --> 01:36:26,130
Don't just lie there all spread-eagled
like that. It looks obscene.
1228
01:36:39,980 --> 01:36:42,060
(¶ music continues)
1229
01:36:58,910 --> 01:37:02,670
You are a disgrace to the profession.
1230
01:37:02,750 --> 01:37:07,090
You are...je ne sais quoi,
uh... relieved of duty.
1231
01:37:07,170 --> 01:37:11,930
I am the new maÎt re de La Fontana di Voglio.
1232
01:37:33,490 --> 01:37:36,080
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101026
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