All language subtitles for Paint.Your.Wagon.1969.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Gold

Gold

Gold

Gold

Gold

Got a dream, boy

Got a song

Paint your wagon

And come along

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

When will I be there?
I don't know

When will I get there?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

Got a dream, boy

Got a song

Paint your wagon

Et allons-y

Ou nous allons?
Je ne sais pas

(singing in Swedish)

(Singing in German)

(Singing in Chinese)

(Singing in Russian)

Got a dream, boy

Got a song

Paint your wagon

And come along

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

When will I be there?
I ain't certain

What will I get?
I ain't equipped to say

But who gives a damn?

Who gives a damn?

Who gives a damn?

We're on our way

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

When will I be there?
I don't know

When will I get there?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

When will I be there?
I don't know

When will I get there?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

Got a dream, boy

Got a song

Paint your wagon

And come along

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

When will I be there?
I ain't certain

What will I get?
I ain't equipped to say

But who gives a damn?

Who gives a damn?

We're...

Farmers.

Let's go.

Whoa! Hold it.

There it is!

Get over here.

Now stop it!

Hello!

Is they...

Dead?

They'd...

Better be...

'Cause I'm gonna bury 'em!

Let's go.

Aah... aah...

Aah...

My brother.

My brother.

He's dead.

Shoulder and leg
is pretty badly broken.

You a doctor?

Horse doctor,
but bones is bones.

Also a blacksmith.

Bring brother.

Little more in the center.

Oh, God...

We pass on to You

The body and soul

of this nameless peckerhead.

Well, at least he went quick,

And he ain't going to
have to suffer

Through the scurvy,
the dysentery,

The spotted fever,
the cholera, or the ague,

Not to mention
them other maladies

Contracted in a consort
with low women,

Or waste years
digging in the dirt

And finding dirt
like I've been doing.

Talk about him!

You want to be next?

And seeing how
he survived all that,

He could have been hit by timber,

Fall down a shaft, starved,

Get murdered,

Or committed suicide
on Christmas Eve.

What I'm saying, God, is,

You don't have no pity
for your children

When they living,

So that's why we're asking you

To be a little kinder to 'em
when they dead.

So, with all due reverence,
Lord,

We pass on to You

This corncracker's body and soul

To take him and to keep him...

I stake this claim

For me and my new
pardner over there,

Whatever the hell his name is...

Forever and ever.

Amen.

Pull him up.

Got a dream, boy

Got a song

Paint your wagon

And come along

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

When will I be there?
I don't know

When will I get there?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

Got a dream, boy

Got a song

Paint your wagon

And come along

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

When will I be there?
I ain't certain

What will I get?
I ain't equipped to say-ay

But who gives a damn?

Who gives a damn?

We're on our way

I still see Elisa

She keeps on returning

As breathless

And young

As ever

I still hear Elisa

And still feel a yearning

To hold her against me again

Her heart was made of holidays

Her smile was made of dawn

Her laughter was an April song

That echoes on and on

Since I saw Elisa

The shadows are falling

And winter is calling above

But I still see Elisa

Whenever I dream

Of love

Elisa... that the name
of your girl?

Yeah.

Oh, I found this.

I thought it might make
a good crutch for you

Now that you seem to be
getting around pretty good.

Thanks.

You know,

It just don't seem right,
Mr. Rumson...

You doing all the work
and me getting half.

I mean, it's your mule,

Your tools and all.

Well, it was your brother.

Well...

Where I come from,
Mr. Rumson,

We're cautious of strangers

Who talk in an easy manner.

Oh, you got me down

For some kind of low scuff
from New Orleans, hmm?

Sell you patent medicine
with one hand,

Pinch your purse with the other?

Matter of fact,
that's kind of what I was thinking.

As a matter of fact,
pardner, you're right,

But I ain't yet sunk
to horse stealing.

Oh, I've salted claims, yeah.

I've sold whiskey to Injuns.

Once, a man in walla walla
come at me with a gun,

And I killed him.

I can't think of one commandment

I ain't shattered regular.

I never did fancy
my mother and father,

Let alone respect them
or honor them,

And I have coveted
my neighbor's wife...

Whenever I had a neighbor

And whenever he had a wife.

Mm-mmm.

And I gamble,
and I cheat at cards,

But there is one thing
I do not do.

I ain't never gulled a pardner.

The one sacred thing,

Even to low scuff like me,

Is a man's pardner.

2 pennyweight short of 4 ounces.

Now you pass me your pouch.

I'll pour your share.

And, pardner,

I'll swap pouches with you
anytime you say.

Well...

I meant no offense, Mr. Rumson,

And I appreciate you
saving my life and all.

You just want to know what's
expected of you in return.

That's right.

I like to know
what crops I'm planting.

Well, when I get dead drunk,

Fall in a muddy street,

I expect you to come get me,

'Cause I don't want
to die muddy drunk.

If I owe a man $100,
stand good for me,

And if I get melancholy,
which can happen,

I expect you to be
my companion and solace me.

What happens when you
get in a fight?

Well, if 4 of anything
come at me at one time,

You might lend a fist.

Up until that,

I can pretty well
take care of myself.

You see, I don't fight fair.

Well, I don't fight at all

Unless I absolutely have to.

I got kind of a temper,

And once I start,
I just can't quit.

Well, good.

Just remember that
I'm on your side.

Well...

I hear a shopkeeper's
pulled into town

With a wagon full of whiskey.

What do you say
I hoist you up that mule

And we go get boiled?

Oh, I ain't a boozing man either,
Mr. Rumson.

Well, I am.

Town meeting tonight!

There's going to be
a town meeting tonight!

Town meeting tonight, Ben.

Blaah!

Ben!
Ben Rumson!

Mooney!
This is my pardner.

I thought you were
on your way back to Ireland.

Well, I am. I'm just
passing through here.

It's right on the way, you know.

Mooney.

How's it going, Willie?

I ain't won a hand
in 3 weeks, Ben.

This is my pardner.

He calls himself
rotten luck Willie,

But that's just
to get the suckers.

You couldn't beat him
with 5 aces,

So don't play with him.

Oh, I don't gamble.

- Uh-huh.
- neither does he.

My name's Ben Rumson.
This here's my pardner,

And I'm buying whiskey
for any man that can stand up.

Aha!

Hey, I was sitting there.

- Now you're standing there.
- Give him a whiskey.

Ben Rumson,

you have an outstanding account

In the amount of $68
from Yuba City,

And which you skipped town on me.

Skipped town on you?

I was run out.
Don't you remember, Gus?

I want to be paid now

Before they run you
out of this town.

Put that damn gun down

And stand these boys
the whiskey I said.

Dry your hands
before you weigh it.

Chief, me and my pardner
need some supplies.

A pound of sugar,

A half a case of whiskey,

And a case of pneumonia
for Schermerhorn there.

A pound of sugar

And a 2-pound sack of flour, please.

Evening.

Horace Tabor,
Worcester, Massachusetts.

When did you get in?

Arrived this morning.

Hit a vein this afternoon,

And I aim to be back
in Worcester by Christmas.

It says here

California's going to be
admitted to the union.

Just what it needs...

Law and order.

That's good news.

Well, it ain't to me.

It's my policy to bust
out of any territory

The day it become a state and
head for another wilderness.

I don't agree, sir.

Well, I don't want to hear about it.

All I know is,
you look around at the human race,

You got to wonder what the
hell God was thinking about.

Oh!
Oh!

Oh, oh, oh!

God made the mountains

God made the sky

God made the people

God knows why

He fixed up the planet

As best as he could

Then in come the people

And gum it up good

The first thing ya know

They civilize the foothills

And everywhere he put hills

The mountains and valleys below

They come along and take 'em

And civilize and make 'em

A place where
no civilized person would go

The first thing ya know

The first thing you know

They civilize what's pretty

By puttin' up a city

Where nothin' that's pretty can grow

They muddy up the winter

And civilize it inter
a place too uncivilized

Even for snow

The first thing ya know

They civilize left

They civilize right

Till nothin' is left

Till nothin' is right

They civilize freedom
till no one is free

No one except

By coincidence, me

The first thing ya know

The boozer's in prison

And the criminal, he isn't

And only the rascals have dough

When I see a parson

I gotta put my arse in the wagon

That follows the tail of a crow

The first thing ya know

I pick up and blow

The first thing
you know-oh-oh-oh

Ben!
Ben Rumson!

Ben!

You bloody old rumpot!

Mad Jack Duncan!

Well, this is my pardner.

I heard you was in town.

Wait till I tell you what happened

to Harry and Ernest and me.

We never went home.

We're having a dance.
Jump in!

Hey, climb on, pardner.

We're going to a dance!

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

I had a lucky day

Mary

My Mary

My sweet canary

We're goin' out this evenin'

Mary

My Mary

I'm gonna take you out tonight

So hand me down
that can o' beans

Hand me down
that can o' beans

Hand me down
that can o' beans

I'm throwin' it away

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

Good times are here to stay

This town meeting
will now come to order!

Hand me down that can o' beans

Hand me down that can o' beans

Hand me down that can o' beans

I'm throwin' it away

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

I had a lucky day

Mary, ma-ma-ma-Mary

My cute canary

We're goin' out this evenin'

Mary, ma-ma-ma-Mary

I'm gonna take you out tonight

So hand me down that can o' beans

Order!

Hand me down that can o' beans

I'm throwin' it away

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

Go the beans, go the beans

Good times are here to stay

Yeah!

Hand me down that can o' beans

Hand me down that can o' beans

Hand me down that can o' beans

I'm throwin' it away

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

I had a lucky day

Mary, ma-ma-ma-Mary

My sweet canary

We're goin' out this evenin'

Mary, ma-ma-ma-Mary

I'm gonna take you out tonight

So hand me down that can o' beans

Hand me down that can o' beans

Hand me down that can o' beans

I'm throwin' it away

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

Out the winder go the beans

Go the beans, go the beans

Good times are here to stay

Anybody seen Ben Rumson?

He, uh, left here
about 20 minutes ago.

Thanks.

Are you his pardner?

Yeah.

He, uh, owes me $80.

He said you would stand good.

Hey, pardner.

Can you help me
get up on that mule?

You all right?

I get melancholy
every now and then.

It's a disease
common to mountain men

Who live alone a lot,

But if you stay with me
at such... such times,

I'll... I'll be ok.

All right.

Did Ezra Atwell come to you

For that $80?

Yeah.

I stood good for you.

I guess this is
what you meant, uh,

When you said you expected me

To come get you
muddy drunk in the street.

And now you're going
to be my companion

In my moment of despair.

Well,

You're my pardner, ain't you?

Hey.

I like you, pardner.

I like you, Ben.

Well, my mother
and father's dead,

And my two brothers and myself,

We worked the...
we worked the farm.

Then last year,
my older brother,

He took himself a wife.

Me and my kid brother,

We decided to leave Michigan

And come out here,

Maybe dig some gold,

Get enough money
to buy some land.

'Cept now that he's gone,

I don't have too much
appetite for farming.

Well, what about your girl?

Girl?

Yeah. Elisa.

Is she gonna come out and join you,

or did she marry your brother?

Well, to tell you the truth,

there is no Elisa.

I just...

Read that name somewhere
and made it up.

Well, them's the best kind,

But what I need now
is the worst kind.

It's a living hell up here,

What with the bloody rain

And the bloody loneliness

And that bloody, bloody wind.

Maria

Maria

They call the wind

Maria

Away out here they got a name

For rain and wind and fire

The rain is Tess

The fire's Joe

And they call the wind Maria

Maria blows the stars around

And sends the clouds a-flyin'

Maria makes the mountains sound

Like folks were up there dyin'

Maria

Maria

They call the wind Maria

Before I knew Maria's name

And heard her wail and whinin'

I had a girl, and she had me

And the sun was always shinin'

But then one day I left my girl

I left her far behind me

And now I'm lost

So gol durn lost

Not even God can find me

Maria

Maria

They call the wind Maria

Out here they got a name for rain

For wind and fire only

But when you're lost and all alone

There ain't no word but lonely

And I'm a lost and lonely man

Without a star to guide me

Maria, blow my love to me

I need my girl beside me

Maria

Maria

They call the wind Maria

Maria

Maria

Blow my love

To

Me

Women!
Look at the women!

Look! Two women!

There's two women!
Look at the two women!

There's five women!

I want to get one of them gals!

There's eight women down there!

There's 15 women!

20 women!

40 women comin'!

Hey, there's 64 women
coming into town!

Yahoo!

Hey, men, there's 80 women
coming down the river!

Lady, I, uh...

Got $50 here in gold dust.

You can have it all

If you, uh...

Let me hold the baby.

Very well.

No, I don't want any money for it.

You'll hurt his feelings, Sarah.
Take it.

Look at them eyes,

Glowing like he just hit pay dirt.

He's a girl, you bummer!

Would anyone else
care to hold the baby?

Not now, Jacob.

Just where are you people from?

Illinois, originally.

I'm Jacob Woodling.

This is my wife Sarah.

And who might this
fine young lady be?

Her name is Elizabeth Woodling.

- Your sister?
- No. My wife.

Your wife?
I thought that one was your wife.

- They both are.
- Holy Moses!

They're Mormons!

Du lieber himmel!

Nice work, old man!

Ha ha ha!

Can we get something
to eat over there?

With $50 you can, sir.

Uh, follow me.

What the hell is a Mormons?

Ich verstehe nicht.

Aah!

Now, I don't bloody
give a damn how a man prays.

There's enough room
in hell for all of us,

But it just ain't equitable, man,

For you to be having
two of something

All of us got none of.

Yeah!
Yeah!

Tell you what I'll do.

Your mule's lame,

And I got a beauty
that cost me $140.

I'll swap you straight...

My mule for one of your wives.

Now, which one's baby's mother?

God knows I wouldn't want
to separate mother and child.

I am.

Good.
I fancied the other one, I did.

This is immoral.

I hope so!

The woman's married.

No, she's not!

We don't recognize plural marriage

In California.

Then I bid $250 in gold for her.

260!
265!

Wait! You can't buy
a woman for money.

Try and get one without it.

Ha ha ha!

All right,
what about it, Mormons?

Jacob, we need every penny,
Jacob,

And I can't bear another day

Of those martyred looks.

There.
There it is again.

This ain't a martyred look, Sarah.

This look is pure...

Hatred.

Quiet!

Brigham young has 27 wives,

And he hasn't had half
the trouble with them

I've had with the two of you.

Then simplify your life, Jacob.
Sell me.

But, Elizabeth,

You don't know what you'll get.

I know what I've had.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Go ahead.

Gentlemen...

Out here...

I ain't a Mormon.

Now, Elizabeth
is a headstrong woman,

Especially since her own
baby died two weeks ago,

But she's given
her consent to be sold.

Therefore, if any of you
want to bid for her,

So be it.

But...

Let's go outside...

Where there's room
for more people.

Ooh!

But these religious dogs
are bloody greedy!

Ah, come on!
Come on!

Elizabeth, you wait here
and feed the baby.

I don't deem it proper that
you be standing on a block.

If anyone wants to inspect you,

I'll send them in.

Order! Order!

I intend to conduct this auction

In an orderly manner!

And no bids in Spanish.

The last bid was $265
and two blankets.

$265, two blankets,
and a jackass!

A 2-pound sack of coffee,

A 2-pound sack of brown sugar...

Hey, Holbrook,
even if she is bought,

How will she marry
who bought her?

She'll be married

According to the prevailing
law of this community,

Which is mining law,

And she'll be treated
like any other legal claim!

Order! Order! Order!

The man bids $275,

Four blankets,

One pickax,

And a bedpan.

Hey, mooney...

Mooney, there's a woman
in the saloon

With a baby pressed
against her breast.

That's right, Ben.

Wait.
It ain't every day

That we got a woman in Atwell's

Pressing her breast
with her baby.

That's right, Ben.

Clendennon...

Shh! There's a woman in Atwell's

Pressing her breast
in the saloon.

I know, Ben,
and we're bidding for her.

And Sam Fletcher bids $300,
four blankets...

Ben, where you going?

Hey, pardner,
there's a breast in Atwell's

Pressing a woman against her.

You want to bet?

You better stay here, Ben.

Huh?

Look!
There's another one!

Well, he's a Mormon.
He has two wives.

I'll kill him.

Ben, they're bidding
on her right now.

Whatever the bid is...

whatever the bid is,
I double it!

Ohh!

$400 was bid last.

Mr. Ben Rumson
gallantly doubles that bid

To $800!

800 once...

Wait a minute!
I'm his pardner,

And he withdraws the bid.

You have power of attorney?

Power of what?

Written permission,

Signed and witnessed.

If he could do that,
he'd talk for himself.

800 twice!

Wake up, Ben.
Come on.

Sold to Mr. Ben Rumson

For $800!

He only looks that way
when he's drunk, ma'am.

You ain't exactly
seein' him at his best,

But once I get him
washed down and clipped,

I think you'll be agreeably surprised.

Get the soap and water

Whoop-ti-ay

Get the soap and water

Whoop-ti-ay

Got a sweet perfumer

To try his humor

It's Ben's weddin' day

Wash him down and clip him

Whoop-ti-ay

Wash him down and clip him

Whoop-ti-ay

He's got a blue-eyed wonder

To put him under

It's his weddin'... yeah

Ben's weddin'... yay

Ben's weddin' day

Where am I goin'?

I don't know

Where am I headin'?

I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

Amen

Dearly beloved,

We have gathered together

To Grant this man Ben Rumson

Exclusive title to this woman

Mrs. Elizabeth Woodling

And to all her mineral resources.

I have drawn up
this record of claim,

Which here and henceforth
will be recognized

As a certificate of marriage.

So I ask you, Ben,

Do you recognize this claim
as a contract of marriage,

And do you take this woman
to love, honor, and Cherish?

Oh, he does.

Elizabeth Woodling,

Do you take this man Ben Rumson

To love, honor, and obey him

Until death do you part?

She does.

I now pronounce you
claimed and filed

As Mr. and Mrs. Ben Rumson.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

Mr. Rumson went to town

Ridin' on a pony

Bought a wife nd brought her home

And called it matrimony

Mr. Rumson bought a bride

Out in Californy

He'd have saved a lot of money

Stayin' drunk and horny

Oh, Susannah

He's happy as can be

For he's got him somethin' better

Than a banjo on his knee

Rumson, he got married today

Married today, married today

Rumson, he got married today

What'll he do tomorrow?

Hey, Ben!

I'll be glad to help you
work your claim!

I'll bed down by the fire

If you need me.

You'll not regret taking me in.

I'll make you a good wife.

You sure as hell will.

I don't fault you

For taking me for an easy woman.

I was bought and paid for.

But you bought me for a wife,

Not a whore.

If you come again at me
like a slavering dog,

I'll shoot you as you come.

Watch where you point that thing.

You'd like to blow my manhood
halfway to the moon.

I mean to make you a good wife

And honor this
contract of marriage,

But only if you will
honor it as well.

I don't know what
you mean by honor it.

I know your sort of man,
Mr. Rumson.

My father was the same sort,

Born under a wandering star.

I ain't fool enough

To bond you with all the
tyrannies of marriage.

All I want is your name,
Mr. Rumson,

And the least measure of respect

Due to a man's wife.

But...

Most of all...

I want you to build me a cabin.

A cabin...

That'll stand up in winter

With a fireplace of stone

And a door I can bolt
if I have to.

And if you do that,

I will say you have
honored the contract.

But if you regret having
bought me, Mr. Rumson,

Say so now,

And if I have to work
the rest of my life,

I'll see you get your $800 back.

I admire your pioneer spirit

And your straightforward
manner, ma'am.

Is that what
you've been admiring?

I've been admiring you, ma'am.

All right, I'll build you a cabin,

And I'll give you my name proudly.

You're Mrs. Ben Rumson,

And I'll kill any man
that says you ain't.

I'll stick to it till I move on,

Which is when
the gold pinches out

Or the first snow of winter.

You...

You ain't going to
claim duress later

Just 'cause I held a gun on you?

No, ma'am,

I ain't going to claim duress.

I seem to lack
all sense of shame

With you, Mr. Rumson.

Hey, Ben!

These men came all the way
from Fiddler's camp

Just to see your wife.

Hiya, Ben!

Well...

Looks like I married myself
a tourist attraction.

Some of these boys
hiked 15 miles.

Ben, how's married life?

Pardner, it was so good

That I forgot that I was married.

Wow.

I'd hike 15 miles
to look at that myself.

Hmm. Well,

I can see it
ain't going to be easy

Married to the only woman
in these mountains.

All right, boys!

The lady wants a cabin to live in.

A proper cabin made out of wood

That'll hold up in the winter!

So just don't sit there gaping.

Get to work!

Send back the world

There's too much night for me

The sky is much too high
to shelter me

When darkness falls

Four cabin walls

Would be just right for me

I need a threshold I can cross

Where I can sit
and gather moss forevermore

A million miles away

Behind the door

Roll up the plains

There's too much view for me

There's so much space

Between the waiting heart
and whispered word

It's never heard

One room will do for me

Where every evening
I can stare at someone

Smiling from his chair
across the floor

A million miles away

Behind the door

Where every evening
I can stare at someone

Smiling from his chair
across the floor

A million miles away

Behind the door

No fears

No fools

No lies

No rules

Just doing with my life
what life is for

A million miles away

Behind

The door

Elizabeth.

Elizabeth?

Elizabeth?

Where have you been?

I was down at the rapids

Taking a bath.

You mean you was taking a bath?

I mean I was taking a bath.

What do you think I mean?

You was down
at the rapids just now,

Bare beam...

And buck naked?

I'm not like to take a bath

With my clothes on, Mr. Rumson.

Are you trying to tell me
you was taking a bath?

That's right.
I was taking a bath.

In the middle of the night?

Mr. Rumson,

In a community of 400 men,

Would you rather I took my bath...

bare beam and buck naked...

in the middle of the day?

What's the matter with you?

What's the matter with me?

I ain't running around
in the middle of the night

In my drawers.

Hey! Hey, boys!

Listen to this.

"The proprietors

Of the hares and hounds
club in Sonora

Wish to announce

That six ladies are expected to arrive

By stage from San Francisco

On the 15th of August."

How about that, huh?

That's a hundred miles away.

What good is that
going to do us?

Ain't no one trying
to steal your wife.

I'll admit there's a few

Who wouldn't mind trying.

Horace tabor, for instance.

He likes to give her a
look every now and then.

Horace tabor?

Come on, Ben.

He just looks at her, that's all.

She doesn't encourage
him or anybody else.

You're beginning to cut

A comical figure

And everybody's laughing at you.

I would've never thought
of Horace tabor.

What the hell are you looking at,
Horace tabor?

I'm looking for my stirring stick.

You make any more
advances towards my wife,

And I'm going to shoot you down

Like the rattle-boned
mother-lovin' dog you are!

That goes for the rest
of you horny gorillas!

You want something to do?

Get on your mule
and put up your money

For them six French tarts
coming into Sonora!

But keep your lusting,
lechering minds off of my wife!

I'd advise you, Rumson,

Not to refer to me

As a rattle-boned dog again.

Is that clear?

I'll stick my fist in one ear
and out the other!

Grab tabor!
Stop him!

Mr. Rumson!

Rumson, I...

Mr. Rumson!

Nobody has behaved
unseemly to me.

I have been treated
with nothing but kindness

In this camp, and you owe
every one of these men,

And especially Mr. Tabor,

An apology.

By God, you're right!

I don't know
what's come over me.

I've been behaving
like a damn fool,

And I wish to beg
your communal pardons,

And especially yours,

Horace tabor.

Well, I suppose if I was married

To the only woman
in the neighborhood,

I might be just as demented.

And, Mrs. Rumson.

Uh, Mrs. Rumson,

May I extend my compliments?

You are as wise as you are fair.

- Ohh!
- Get your hands off me!

That lunatic tried to kill me!

I demand a town meeting

To consider
a proper course of action.

Yeah.
Yeah.

If that knife
had come 1 inch lower,

I would not be here today.

That's right.
Yeah.

My fellow citizens,

As long as that madman
prowls among us,

No one is safe.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Therefore...

We must find
a solution by tonight.

Let us not wait until
the condition worsens

Or his aim improves!

Yeah!
Yeah!

Order!

Mr. Chairman!

The chair recognizes Ezra Atwell.

I would like to
ask Ben Rumson directly

If he doesn't think

That with a little sober effort

He could control
these fits of jealousy?

Not a chance, and it's
getting worse every day.

Sorry, can't help you.

The chair recognizes Ben's pardner.

Ah, thank you, Mr. Holbrook.

I've been giving it some
considerable thought.

Ever since Ben Rumson,

My pardner here, poor bastard...

Oh, excuse me, ma'am...

well, ever since
he became a lunatic.

What's putting
the strain on Ben's mind

Is, uh, well, having the only woman

For 90 miles around here.

Now, my proposal is

That we get some more women
for this town.

How you going to get women

To come up here?

Order! Order!

I know where
we can get some women.

There's six French bawds
arriving in Sonora

A week after Saturday.

Ben, you're right.

Why don't we get them
to come up here instead?

How you gonna get six
French bawds to come up here?

If I was a French bawd,
I'd go to Sonora.

If you was a French bawd,
we wouldn't be having this trouble.

All right, how are we gonna
get 'em to come up here?

It's simple.

They gotta take the morning
stage from Sacramento.

They gotta stop at Starbottle's
pass to change horses.

So five or six of us
go down there,

Hijack that stage,

And reroute them tarts
back up here instead.

Now, what's so hard about that?

It all sounds just fine to me.

When do we go?

Order! Order!

Is it your proposal, Mr. Rumson,

That we knock out
the stage driver,

Steal a coach,
and kidnap six women?

Sounds better
every time I hear it.

You fail to see what's wrong
with this proposal?

What's wrong with it?

Well, if you don't consider

Assault and battery,

Grand larceny,
and kidnapping wrong,

What the hell
do you consider wrong?

Oh, you maniac!

- Sit down!
- You insane man!

Schermerhorn, you're out of order.

What?

I yield the floor.

Proceed, Schermerhorn.

- What?
- Speak!

You maniac!

You insane man!

What do you think

Them people in
Sonora going to do

When we hijack their frauleins?

They grab their guns

And come up here
to get them back!

Order, order, order!

Gentlemen!

Mr. Atwell has the floor.

Gentlemen, it is 50 miles
from here to Starbottle's

Without a road or a trail.

Not even a mule can do it.
How do you expect...

Oh, you lunatics!

Besides a civil war with Sonora,

You want to put us

In the white slave business!

Schermerhorn, you're out of order!

Again?

You haven't been recognized!

I'm Schermerhorn.

- Mr. Holbrook.
- Aw, sit down!

Ben, these boys are right.

Mr. Holbrook,
I withdraw the proposal.

Have you gone out of your skull?

You can't expect these men

To build a two-story building

Just to get women up here.

Who said two stories?

Somebody's got to run
the faro tables

On the ground floor, don't they?

Rotten luck Willie will do that.

You can't expect rotten luck Willie

To build a fancy building

With chandeliers
and art over the bar

And gambling and six
beautiful tarts upstairs.

Criminy, Ben.

We'd have every bummer
for miles around

Coming around here
to spend his money

On women and whiskey

At Atwell's and Schermerhorn's.

You think that's bad?

Why, it's terrible!

Just terrible!

You'd turn this camp
into a boom town,

And we don't want to do that.

Soon there'd be another saloon.

And another bawdy house.

And another gambling hall.
And another bawdy house.

And another hotel.
And another bawdy house.

Why, property would
shoot straight up.

They'd be making
more money selling

Their old claims than from gold.

They didn't come here
to forge a nation

Out of the wilderness.
Whaddaya think they are?

That's right!
That's for men with a big dream,

With visions of America's greatness.

Well, I'm warning you,

If you want to turn this

Into a dreary boom town Metropolis

Filled with nothing but millionaires,

All you got to do

Is put up one little, tiny...

Two-story cathouse.

Let's put it to a vote.

Any man opposed is
a traitor to his country.

All those in favor

Of bringing prostitution

To this camp, say aye.

Aye!
Aye!

Passed!

Pardner, there's a shifty side to you

That I'm just beginning
to appreciate.

Why can't I go along with you?

Who's going to take care
of Elizabeth?

It'll take three days and nights

To get them tarts back here.

You don't expect me to leave
a feast like Elizabeth alone

In this famine?

Who can I trust if it ain't you?

You didn't say being pardners

Meant wife-guarding.

Well, it just come up.

Howdy.

Captain Barnsfeather,
Fort Sumter.

When does the Sonora
stage come through?

About 4:00 tomorrow afternoon.
Why?

Uh, supplies for the troops.

Unmount!

Come in, pardner.

You sure I'm not intruding?

Come in.

You think Ben will really
get back in three days?

Why?

I'd like to know.

Who you expecting for dinner?

You!

Sit down.

Oh.

Thanks.

I didn't know you was expecting me.

I talk to the trees

But they don't listen to me

I talk to the stars

But they never hear me

The breeze hasn't time

To stop and hear what I say

I talk to them all

In vain

But suddenly my words

Reach someone else's ear

Touch someone else's heartstrings, too

I tell you my dreams

And while you're listening to me

I suddenly see them

Come true

I can see us on an April night

Looking out across a rollin' farm

Having supper in the candlelight

Walkin' later arm in arm

Then I'll tell you how I passed the day

Thinking mainly how the night would be

Then I'll try to find the words to say

All the things you mean to me

I tell you my dreams

And while you're listening to me

I suddenly see them

Come true

They're coming out of Starbottle's!

All right!

Fall together!

Hey, put me down,
you bloomin' idiot!

Down, down, down, down!

Ow!

That's it!
Get in line!

Come on!
Come on, move!

Yah! Whoa!

Whoa!

Captain Barnsfeather,
Fort Sumter.

At your service, ladies.

Here to protect you
along the way.

We're going to have to
take this here detour.

What detour? I can't
drive these ladies

- Through open country.
- You're going to have to.

The road up ahead ain't safe.
Injuns.

Ain't no trouble
with Injuns around here.

Get down.

Get back in the coach,
will you, ladies?

Please sit down, ladies!

Come on!

There's a coach comin' in!

There's a coach comin' in!

Comin' in!
Comin' in!

Comin' in!
Comin' in!

There's a coach comin' in

If you listen, you can hear it

A-clip-cloppin' over the hill

And the sound that you hear

Is as good to your ear

As the call of a wild whippoorwill

There's a coach comin' in

You can feel it gettin' near

All at once,
and it bursts into view

And it looks to your eye

Like it fell from the sky

Like a coach full of dreams come true

For it's bringin' me eyes
that are moonlight

And it's carryin' lips
that are wine

And it's comin' with arms
that are pillows

And this evening it all will be mine

There's a coach comin' in

And you're smellin' like a steer

Get the soap out,
it ain't far away

Cut the socks from your feet

Cut the socks from your feet

Rake your hair till it's neat

Rake your hair till it's neat

There's a coach comin' in

There's a coach comin' in today

There's a coach comin' in

Hurry, hurry, do you hear?

With a cargo o' joy from paree

Drop the tables and chairs

Get them beds up the stairs

And be sure every lock has a key

For it's coming mit girls

Who buy perfume

Who wear powder
and Rouge from paree

Who will have to go
somewhere to get them

And the somewhere to go will be me

There's a coach comin' in

And it's flyin' like a deer

Thank the Lord there's relief on the way

Thank with all of your hearts

Thank with all of your hearts

For them half-dozen tarts

For them half-dozen tarts

There's a coach comin' in

There's a coach comin' in

Today

There's a coach comin' in

If you listen
you can hear it

A-clip-cloppin' over the hill

And the sound that you hear

Is as good to your ear

As the call of a wild whippoorwill

For it's bringin' me eyes

That are moonlight

And it's carryin' lips
that are wine

And it's comin' with arms
that are pillows

And this evening it all will be mine

There's a coach comin' in

You can feel it gettin' near

All at once,
and it bursts into view

And it looks to your eye

Like it fell from the sky

Like a coach full of dreams come true

For it's bringin' me eyes
that are moonlight

And it's carryin' lips
that are wine

And it's comin' with arms
that are pillows

And this evening it all will be mine

There's a coach comin' in

Now it's riding in the clear

And the sound of it grows to a din

No, there ain't far to go

Now they're hollerin' whoa

Whoa!

There's a coach comin' in

There's a coach comin'

And it's here

Ben!

Pardner, I want to talk to you!

Uhh!

Why, you rotten, lecherous,

Deceiving, no-good, thieving...

the only reason I ain't
blowing your brains out

Is the relief
it's going to give me

When I tear you apart
with my bare hands.

What's the matter with you?

What was the two of you
doing on the same horse?

Riding.
What else is there?

That's the last place I'd pick...

where was her horse?

That was her horse.

And where... ha ha...
was your horse?

You had my horse.

Uh.

If that's true,

Why ain't you fighting back?

You ain't been yourself lately.

That's a widely known fact,

And you know it yourself.

Get up, pardner.

How's your jaw?

Feels like it's coming off.

You ought to trust me, Ben.

You're right.

You ain't the kind of man

That'd go lusting
after another man's wife,

Especially with them six bawds

Arriving in town.

That's right, Ben.

I wouldn't do that.

The only kind of feelings

You'd ever have
would be deep ones,

And if you had 'em
for Elizabeth,

You'd come and tell me
before you would her.

That's right, Ben.

That's what I'd do.

You're a good man, pardner.

That's what I was coming to do, Ben...

tell you that I got

Some deep feelings for Elizabeth.

Ben, you hit me one more time,

I'll bust your skull open.

I'm telling you,
nothing's happened,

And nothing's going to happen,

'Cause I'm leaving.

You're breaking up the partnership?

Well, if I hang around here long enough

Watching you and her together,

I'll become as big a lunatic as you are.

All right.

I'll go get your share
of the gold dust.

You can have the mule

And that new gold pan.

You can even have the rocker,

If you want to.

What's the matter, Ben?
Where are you going?

Where are you taking the rocker?

I'm giving it to pardner.

He's going away.

Going away?

He... he never mentioned
going away to me.

Of course he didn't.

You don't know that man

Like I do, Elizabeth.

What are you saying, Ben?

He loves you.

That's why he's going.

I don't want pardner to go, Ben.

I love him.

Unpack, pardner.

You ain't going nowhere.

That woman loves you.

And that puts a new wheel

On the wagon, don't it?

Now, you get this straight, Ben.

I'm not going to
take away your wife,

And that's final.

But you love her.

So do you.

There's only one way
for anybody to be happy,

And that's for one of us

To move away and forget it.

And I'm going.

Now, get out of my way.

Pardner, there comes a time

In the life of every partnership

When the party of the first part

Has no recourse except
to knock some sense

Into the party
of the second part.

You're staying!

Ooh!

What happened?

He's staying.

Is he hurt?

No, ma'am. Just tired.

He'll be good as new

In a couple of weeks.

Where you going, Ben?

You love pardner?

You take him.

And you take good care of him.

That's the decentest man
I ever run across.

And the strongest.

Now...

I know you women
like things legal,

So here's what.

It takes two weeks

For you to be
an abandoned claim.

After that, you take the name

Of your new owner

And file it down at
the mining office.

Then everything will be legal.

Ben!

I don't want you to go.

I love you.

What are you talking
about, Elizabeth?

You're my husband.

I don't want you to go away.

What was that?

Don't let him go, pardner.

You said she was
in love with me.

Didn't you just say
that you loved him?

Yes, I did, and I do.

You just said
you were in love with Ben.

Yes, I did, and I am.

Ben, do you, uh...

Do you get the feeling
you need a drink?

How did you know?

'Cause I do, too.

But, pardner, you don't drink.

No, but I'm changing.

Hmm, and it takes
a woman to do it.

Bless their hearts.

Now, Elizabeth,

Let's try and be reasonable
about this.

For God's sake,
make up your mind!

I can't.

I love both of you.

But that ain't going
to work, Elizabeth.

You can't have both of us.

Why not?

Why not?

Why not?

'Cause, uh...

A woman can't have two husbands.

Well, I was married to a man

Who had two wives.

Why can't a woman
have two husbands?

Because you can't.

Well, why?

You explain it to her,
will you, Ben?

I'd like to oblige, pardner,

But I'll be damned if
I can think of a reason.

Out here we make up our
own rules as we go along.

A man rides into town
with two wives,

Wants to sell one at auction,

Nobody thinks twice.

If a town needs
female companionship,

Hijacking them seems
the natural thing to do,

And if two pardners want
to share the same wife,

Why not?

This ain't Michigan.

It's gold country.

Why, hell,
it's the golden country,

Untouched and uncontaminated
by human hands!

It's where people can someday

Look civilization straight
in the eye and spit!

You don't have
to please anybody,

Don't have to love thy neighbor.

Leave the bastard alone.

It's wild, human, and free,

And all over this nation,

They preach against it
every Sunday,

But I don't think God's listening.

You know why?
Because he's here...

In glorious California!

You trying to tell me, Ben,
that you're willing?

I am.

I think it's a humane,

Practical, beautiful solution.

It does make a lot of sense.

It don't.

It don't in Michigan.
It does in California.

Well, what's everybody
gonna say?

What everybody
are you talking about?

You mean everybody in town

Playing chamber music
with them French horns?

They'd be damn glad to have
two less in line, and you know it.

Ben, you're right.

Of course I'm right.

You've been carrying on
like somebody was asking you

To do something
downright immoral,

Like stealing gold!

It ain't as bad as all that.

What's bad about it?

Show me on that list
of ten commandments

Where it says a woman
can't have two husbands.

There ain't
no commandment like that.

Hot damn.
I think it's great.

It's history-making.

Can't hold it.

Elizabeth...

Yes, Ben?

We will be three...

For dinner.

Shameless harlots!

You think the Lord
was some old boy

Going around in
a raggedy old sheet

2,000 years ago?

You're wrong.
He's here now,

And he sees you!

Ye godless Jaspers!

Who are you? Freemasons?

Rosicrucians?

Heathen emissaries
from the dens of Babylon?

Boozers. Gluttons.

Gamblers.

Harlots.

Fornicators!

What's a fornicator?

I don't know.
I ain't a religious man.

The stench of the city
is in the Lord's nostrils,

And it's making him sick.

The Lord ain't going
to take it much longer!

Come on up, parson,

And get some old-time religion.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Good morning, Mrs. Rumson.
How are your husbands?

They're fine.
Thank you, Mr. Atwell.

Husbands?

Did I hear husbands?

You animals!

You pagans!

O God, Lord of hosts,

Close thine eyes,
then hold thy nose.

I am passing through
the garbage of humanity!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Come on, dearie.

Scum, keep your filthy claws

Off my wife
Princess hummingbird!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

You heathen swine!

Do you know what God done
to Sodom and Gomorrah

When He couldn't find
50 righteous men

In them stinking cities?

No!
No!

I'll show God a place
where there ain't 40.

Yeah!
Yeah!

30!
Yeah!

Two!
Yeah!

Or one!

Yeah!
Yeah!

And here it is.

Hooray!
Hooray!

You want to see sin
of the wickedest kind?

Here it is

You want to see virtue left behind?

Here it is

Sodom was vice and vice versa

You want to see where
the vice is worser?

Here it is

I mean, here it is

You want to live life
in the rottenest way?

Here it is

Women and whiskey
night and day

Here it is

You want to embrace the golden calf

Ankle and thigh and upper half?

Here it is

I mean, here it is

No name city, no name city

The Lord don't like it here

No name city, no name city

Your reckonin' day is near

No name city, no name city

Here's what He's gonna do

Gobble up this town
and swallow it down

And goodbye to you

Will you go to Heaven?

Will you go to Hell?

Go to Hell
Go to Hell

Either repent or fare thee well

Fare thee well

God'll take care o' no name city

Comes the end,
and it won't be pretty

Here it is

I mean, here it is

Here it is

I mean, here it is

Here it is

I mean, here it is

A...

...men

Evening, pardner.

Evening, Elizabeth.

Evening, Ben.

Evening, Elizabeth.

I hear...

George Lonergan
pulled out today.

He's smart.

He's broke.

Ben thinks placer mining

Is all but finished in these parts.

What are we going to do?

I hear talk of
a strike up to red dog.

I'm not leaving my home, Ben.

I wasn't suggesting it.

I'll live on grass and mud water

Before I'd do that.

Ben isn't asking you
to leave your home.

Damn it! Why won't
you leave, Elizabeth?

You like this town as much
as I like Schermerhorn!

I hate what this town
has become,

But it's one place

Where the three of us
can live together,

And there's nothing I hate

As much as I love the two
of you and this cabin.

If you want to go up to red dog,

You go ahead and go,
but I'm staying here.

You come back
whenever you want to.

The only thing
that's keeping you

From being the perfect woman
is your stubbornness.

Somebody ought to hit you with
a shovel till you get over it!

Somebody's got
to support this family!

You can't go through
a winter alone here.

I'm not going to
leave her here alone.

You mean you'd let this man
who took care of you

And nursed you back to health

Light out alone while you
sleep through the winter

Like a fat groundhog?

If he goes, you go.

And I ain't going.

Well, I'll go, then.

If he goes, you go with him.

Damn it! Didn't I just
get through telling you

You can't go through
a winter alone here?

You ever see such
a stubborn woman?

No, I never did.

But if you ever hit her,

You'll have to deal
with me straightaway.

I sure am one tired man tonight.

Must be from lifting
those cards all night.

I only played a few hands
last night, Elizabeth.

I had a lucky streak,
too. I broke even.

You'll tell three-fingered Sweeney

I'll pay him back next week?

You was playing poker
last night?

Yeah, I was, and you
was tired. Remember?

Oh. Well,
I think I'll go down

And have a last drink
with them three limeys.

They're, uh,
pulling out tomorrow.

How much does he owe Sweeney?

Wait a minute. I'm not
going to take your money.

Why not?

'Cause a man don't do that

In Michigan or in California.

That's all right with me,

But if you want
to keep your manhood,

Quit trying to beat three aces
with a pair of 4s.

See you at breakfast.

Sorry, boys, pardner
ain't playing tonight.

Willie?
What?

Have you seen mad Jack?

He's over there.

Hey, I want to convert
this dust into dollars.

Look out, mad Jack!

That man's losing gold dust

Every time you bump his elbow.

There's more gold dust
spilled here in one night

Than we've dug up in a month.

Must be a pirate's fortune
under them floorboards.

Where are you heading?

Where I can find some gold,

Maybe fleshpot hill,
maybe brass monkey ravine.

I don't know.

Save your souls.

Help build a house for the Lord.

He can have my shack.
I'm moving out.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

You heathen scum.

And The Lord Sayeth,

"Money is the root of all evil."

The Lord Sayeth that
'cause he ain't rich.

He knoweth all about you,

Living like animals in that cabin.

You're going to hell!

I hope so.

If it ain't too far down,

I'll tunnel up
and get some gold dust

That's been falling through these floor...

how do you figure
we can dig a tunnel

Without being seen?

We'll dig down from
the floor in our cabin,

Under the street,
and right up under here.

A tunnel?

You idiot!

Why, you...

Dig now.
Hit him later, lunatic.

Here. What the hell's
happening?

We're going to tunnel in
under Willie's place.

After that gold dust
under Willie's floor, eh?

How in hell did you know that?

I've been thinking
about that for weeks.

Why didn't you speak up, eh?

- You dirty, lazy, no-good drunken...
- Oh, hey!

Lazy, am I?

- Damn you.
- Shut up.

- Duncan... ow!
- Dig now. Hit him later.

Right.

You can hit me later.

I'll remind you.

Don't forget.
Pardner's in on this.

Then where is he?

He's home tonight.

Doing what?

Damn you!

Keep a civil tongue
in your mouth, or I'll...

you can hit him later.

You can hit me later.

And I'll
remind you. Dig.

Oh!

Hey, Willie,
you seen Ben Rumson?

Uh-uh.

Sorry.

Close the bloody door.

Oh, you're digging a hole.

Hey, you don't miss
a trick, do you?

Ben?

Pardner, we got
big news for you.

You're doing what?

We ain't stopping at Willie's.

There's 16 gambling halls,
7 hotels, and 21 saloons,

And assorted playgrounds.

We can build tunnels
under all of them,

Honeycomb main street,
one end to the other.

What will we do
with all that earth?

Give it to the meek.

Have you gone crazy?

Oh, he's not crazy.
There's a lot of gold dust

Going through those floors.

I think maybe
there's more than a lot.

I think maybe there's
enough for the winter.

Hurry up and eat this,
both of you.

Coffee will be ready in a minute.

I don't want you to be late to work.

The earth is pure muck

Muck's a good thing

And oozin' with mud

Mud is just fine

It's drownin' in bog

Bog is good luck

And crawlin' with crud

Crud's a good sign

The poor, they got hope

The rich can buy soap

What rainbows ain't got a pot of

And I ain't got a spot of

A few feet down there's a lot of

Just waitin' to buy

Tobacco and rye

From now till I die

The best things in life are dirty

And nothing in life is

Better to hold than dirty gold

The best things in life are

Filthy, dirty hunks of gold, gold, gold

There's more than just gold

Gold is enough

That's buried below

Beautiful gold

There's seed in the ground

Lovable gold

Just waitin' to grow

Spendable gold

A man has his creed

And mine is all greed

What banks have bulgin' accounts of

And I ain't got an ounce of

Below there's endless amounts of

Just dirty old trash

That turns in a flash

To dirty old cash

Uh-huh!

The best things in life are dirty

The worst thing in life is

Wakin' up clean without a bean

The best things in life are

Filthy dirty hunks of gold, gold, gold

The best things in life are dirty

The worst thing in life is

Being content without a cent

The best things in life are

Filthy dirty hunks of gold, gold, gold, gold

Stinkin' rotten chunks of blimey, slimy

Lousy, lovely...

Gold

Hey, you bummers, over here!

I found him in the mountains.

He's half-frozen.
Get him to a fire.

He says there's a wagon
train marooned up there.

Get up a rescue party.

Let's get out of these mountains

Before another storm comes up.

Pack up!

You've arrived at the height

Of the season,
Mr. Fenty,

But we'll find hotel space

For the whole bloody lot of you.

If you can shake your family
and don't die,

You'll have one hell of a time.

We shouldn't take respectable people

To no name city.

We'll take in a few at our place.

Maybe you can take the rest.

Is there room in your cabin

To put a couple of invalids?

Ben's bringing in her husband.

Oh, Mrs. Fenty, this is Mrs. Rumson.

I'm Mrs. Fenty's son Horton.

This is my sister Laura sue.

Here are some blankets.
You keep warm by the fire.

I'll take care of the children.

Your husband is
a good man, Mrs. Rumson.

Yes, they are.

I said that husband
of yours is a good man.

Yes, uh, thank you,
Mrs. Fenty.

Don't you worry.

Those children went
straight to sleep.

I'll see
to Mr. Fenty now.

Thank you,
Mr. Rumson.

Oh, my name's not Rumson, ma'am.

That's my wife's name.

Now, I'll bet that seems
a little confusing,

Don't it?

A little, yes.

How is it you and your husband

Don't have the same name?

Oh, well,
that's easy to explain.

It is?

In the Chinese section of town

Was a joint called
the Pagoda Hell Saloon,

And upstairs there lived
a real mandarin Princess

Who used to invite me
over occasionally

For a little egg roll.

Ben.

I'm entering your house

To pray for
the unfortunate victims.

Not tonight, parson.

These folks have
suffered enough.

Why don't you do that outside

Where God can hear you better?

'Cause I'll be talking in here.

Ben...

You can't talk to the parson that way

In front of these people.

This is a nice, church-going family.

Now go see where pardner is
with the supplies.

Yes, ma'am.

Will you tell me

The rest of the story
after dinner?

Sure. About 10 years
after dinner.

I'll take care of
your little sister.

You keep warm.

Mrs. Rumson, if the other
gentleman is your husband,

Who's Mr. Rumson?

He's my husband's pardner.

Well, how is it
you have his name?

Just a coincidence.

Oh.

What are you talking about?

Elizabeth ain't sick.

Now, you listen to me.

She's picked up a bad case
of the respectabilities.

In a few days,

That poor woman's
going to be burning up

In a fever of virtue.

And then look out.

Why?

Pardner, it's been my experience

That there ain't nothing
more ruthless and treacherous

Than a genuine good woman.

Ben, you have to put up
at Atwell's hotel tonight.

I what?

I can't tell them
I'm living with two men.

Elizabeth, you ain't
making any sense.

If you want to be respectable,

How come Mr. Rumson
has to move out

While Mrs. Rumson
stays with another man?

If anybody leaves,
it really ought to be me.

You can't.

I already told them
pardner's my husband.

Tell them you've made a mistake.

It's only for one or two nights.

What gives you that idea?

Why, it'll be 6 weeks
before they can move.

Only a farmer's
dumb enough to get froze

And tough enough to survive it.

Damn farmers!

All right, I'll sleep out.

Where you going?
To get my things.

I got them right here.

Mm-hmm.

See you in the tunnels, Ben.

You moving out, Ben?

No.

Me, neither.

I guess there's two kinds
in the world, Ben...

People who move,

People who stay.

Ain't that true?

No, that ain't true.

Well, what's true?

Oh, there's two kinds of people...

them going somewhere

And them going nowhere,

And that's what's true.

I don't agree, Ben.

That's 'cause you don't know

What the hell I'm talking about.

I'm an ex-citizen of nowhere,

And sometimes
I get mighty homesick.

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

Wheels are made for rollin'

Mules are made to pack

I've never seen a sight

That didn't look better lookin' back

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

Mud can make you a prisoner

And the plains can bake you dry

Snow can burn your eyes

But only people make you cry

Home is made for comin' from

For dreams of goin' to

Which, with any luck,
will never come true

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

Do I know where hell is?

Hell is in hello

Heaven is goodbye forever

It's time for me to go

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

A wand'rin'

Wand'rin' star

Mud can make you prisoner

And the plains can bake you dry

Snow can burn your eyes

But only people make you cry

Home is made for comin' from

For dreams of goin' to

Which, with any luck,
will never come true

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

When I get to Heaven

Tie me to a tree

Or I'll begin to roam

And soon you know
where I will be

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

A wand'rin'

Wand'rin' star

Well, Willie,
could you accommodate me

For a couple of days?

Sure. Take your pick.

No. I mean a room
I can sleep in.

We don't rent empty beds.

Just till them sick
farmers leave my house.

Wait. Clotilde's
gone off for a while.

You can use her room.

What happened to Clotilde?

Some bummer says
if she don't marry him,

He's going to kill her.

She took off for a while
to let him simmer down.

She said she'd marry him.

He wants her to quit working.

Well, that's a narrow-minded attitude.

Whew.

Yeah. She's a fancy
smeller, all right.

Damn farmers.

Sugar, guess who this is.

Sugar, guess who this is.

Hey, by goom,

I must have been
down here too long.

You're beginning
to smell like a woman.

Good morning.
Good morning.

Good morning,
Mr. Rumson.

You're an hour late.

Who the hell's the stranger?

He won't tell anybody.

He's practically
one of the family.

Just wanted to see
what a gold mine looked like.

You open your mouth
about this tunnel,

I'll put a stick
of dynamite in it.

You tell no one, do you hear?

I swear before God.

I said no one.

Start at end of number four.

Work an extra hour

To make up for being late.

How's Elizabeth?

Oh, she's fine.

In fact, we'd like

To have you for dinner tonight.

Is that right?

Yeah. Around 6:30.
Is that all right?

Well, that's mighty neighborly,

But I got to play the organ

For the parson tonight.

Well, possibly some other time.

Well, if you're just
one of the family,

Dig!

Mr. Rumson, I swore
I wouldn't tell anyone.

I hope that means except
my mother and father.

That means especially
your mother and father.

But I've never kept
anything from them.

It's about time you started,

'Cause when you do,

A whole new world opens up.

You got that kind of cold,

Empty feeling inside of you?

Do all gold miners get that?

It's very common.

What do they do for it?

I'll show you.

Are we going in a saloon?

Well, that's where
the medicine closet is.

It's part of that
whole new world

I was telling you about.

After you, Columbus.

Gentle music fills the sky

At no name city

And the days,
they whisper by

At no name city

Come on.

Sure, there's not a spot as rare in

All Heaven or in Erin

Let me live until I die

In no name town

Ahh.

That's good.

My first drink.

Ahh.

You, uh...
Feeling all right?

Oh, yes, sir.
Thank you.

That, uh, cold, hollow feeling

Is almost gone.

Bartender, cigars.

Thank you.

I'll bet that's
the strongest cigar

You ever smoked.

It's the first cigar
I ever smoked.

It's delicious.

You all right,
Mr. Rumson?

Yeah, fine.

Why do you think

My father is so dead set
against saloons?

'Cause farmers
ain't got the time

To enjoy
the good things in life.

Farmer's got a busy day...

got to pull them turnips,

Talk about the weather.

That's about as much
as he can handle.

Quiet!

Who are they,
Mr. Rumson?

Oh, they're on the menu.

I don't understand, sir.

Now, Horton...Now, you
ain't going to tell me

That you ain't never
had a woman, neither?

No, sir, I haven't.

That's abso...

why, that's terrible!

Do you know that
you could go blind?

We got to do something
about that right away.

I wouldn't know what to do.

Don't worry.
With your talent,

You'll catch on in no time.

Uh, Willie, ahem...

If you was to go trapping
for the first time,

Who would you
take along as a guide?

That would be Gracie.

She loves adventure.

Oh, grace, uh...

I give you the boy.

Give me back the man.

That was the best,
Mr. Rumson.

You think so, huh?

Without any doubt. Now, I like
smoking and drinking very much,

But they can't touch
the last one.

That's got everything.

Most people would
go along with that.

Well, good night.

Mrs. Rumson will be sorry
you're not coming for dinner.

Last thing she said
was to bring you.

Oh?

Well, in that case,
maybe I will.

Good.

I'll walk you home after.

Now, remember,
you wasn't in no tunnels,

And you wasn't in no saloon.

I remember.

We thank thee, Lord,
for the recovery of these friends

And the food that...

shut the door, will you, Ben?

For this we thank thee, Lord.

Amen.

Amen.
Amen.

Will you wipe your feet off?

Evening, Ben.
Come sit down.

Evening, Elizabeth.

Well, pardner,
you handled grace pretty good.

Not as good as Horton
did this afternoon,

But pretty good.

Where have you been, Horton?

Uh, gold mining, pa.

Your son's the most natural-born
gold miner that I ever met.

I brought him up not to be
afraid to try anything.

Well, that boy tries everything.

Did you know that the Fentys

Had an apple farm
back in Pennsylvania?

Applejack, huh?

No, sir, we did not
make applejack.

Then why grow apples?

You think everything that
comes out of the earth

Should be used to make liquor?

Whenever possible, yes.

You should read the Bible.

I have read the Bible.

Didn't that discourage
you about drinking?

No, but it sure killed
my appetite for reading.

We've been telling the Fentys

What good land's
all around this valley.

Yes. We're thinking
of settling down here.

Oh, great!

That news is so god damn great,

I need a drink.

Don't listen to him.

He's always joking.

Elizabeth, the whiskey's gone.

I know.
I poured it all out.

You what?

Out of courtesy
to our guests, Ben.

If you want a drink,

Get your carcass
out of this house.

You can't order a man
out of his own house.

His house?

That's right.
It's his house.

Mrs. Rumson is married to him?

She's married to the both of us.

At the same time?

Well, we're pardners.

I have never heard...

shut up and sit down!

Don't order the guests around.

Why not?
It's his fault.

Without his god damn respectability,

We'd still be a happily married...

Triple.

There's not one
drink of whiskey?

Take mine.

Boy, you saved my life.

Horton, how did that bottle

Get into your pocket?

How long have you been
drinking hard liquor?

Well, since this afternoon.

You don't approve, but, believe me,

Until you've had a good
cigar and whiskey,

You're missing the second
and third best things in life.

Horton.

Where did you take him, Ben?

Damn you, Ben Rumson.

What are you going to
teach this boy next?

How to cheat at cards

Or just physical education

With one of Willie's floozies?

That's the best one.

Horton!

Is that what you did today, Ben?

That's what he did today.

This boy's got
a talent for dissipation

That is absolutely unique.

Out.

Get out!

I order you out of this house.

This is not your house.

This is my house.

That's right.
I give her the house.

And if you ever cross
this threshold again,

I'll shoot you down
like any other marauder.

What's she so het up about?

She's got a right to be.

You had to take your revenge out

On the virtue of this boy,

Show him what an ugly town
this really is.

Well, if we live here,
then we're ugly, too.

I could never go back
to what we had before.

It's over, and it's done,
and it's finished.

Now get out.

Wait. If Ben goes,
I'd have to go.

Then you go, too.

Evening, ma'am.

Good evening, ma'am.

You mutton-headed clunk.

You knew she didn't
want them to know.

Elizabeth's a sick woman.

You got no respect for anybody

Or anything.

I don't have
your kind of respect,

Sitting at the table
with your hands folded

And that pious look on your face

After a hard day's thieving.

It ain't thieving.

Then why are we hiding it?

Why are we talking about it?

She's back there all alone.

Whose fault is that?

Yours.
Hers. She threw us out.

Don't you say anything
against Elizabeth around me.

I'll say anything I want.

She's my wife,
bought and paid for,

And don't you forget it.

I never do forget it.

I got nothing more
to say to you.

Then you got nothing
I want to hear,

And if I ever catch you
sneaking back without me,

They'll never find
all of you to bury.

Bull and bear fight!

Bull and bear fight!

See the great bull that cut up

The mountain lion in Sonora

And triumphed over 10 large dogs!

Save your souls, heathen scum!

Allow this butchery to
take place on Sunday,

And God will wash
his hands of you.

Thank you, parson.
Now move on.

God is going to cause
the earth to open

And swallow up
this nest of evil,

And the Lord ain't fooling.

I hear strange rumblings

In the earth below.

Yeah, they're going to
sell a lot of tickets

To the bull and bear
fight on Sunday.

A lot of gold dust
is going to fall.

But we don't have
a tunnel under there.

Arghhh!

You bloody maniac!

Why didn't you build one?

We can get under there.

There's nothing to it.

Maybe so...

But we could sure use
a bit of help.

Hey. Hey.

What about that young farmer?

Where is he?

Horton Fenty?

Little did I realize it,

But when that boy set foot

On the second story
of Willie's saloon,

History was in the making.

Is that where he is?

That's where he always is...

puffing on a cigar,
drinking whiskey,

Knocking on them doors.

If that boy don't slow down,

Them girls are going
to strike for shorter hours.

I'll see if I can catch him

Between rooms tonight.

If we could divert his energy,

We could be through by morning.

Your bet.

I'll bet 50.

I'll see that and raise you 50.

Not for me.
I'm out.

Have you seen the future
father of our country?

Yeah. He went home.

When will he be back?

Soon as his folks are asleep.

Tell him I want to see him.

Leave your door open
and wait your turn.

Here.

Uh, pardon me, sir.

Could you lend me $10?

Why don't you go home
and go to bed?

I was thinking of doing it
the other way around.

Thank you, sir.

I'll see your 50.

Red 7 wins again!

Pardon me.

Here's your $10 back, sir,

Oh, and 10 more.

Red 7.

You're losing a lot of money,
pardner.

Where do you get it all?

Thieving.

I would give the world to see

How I used to be

When I had no axe to grind

Except for choppin' wood

Day was day,
and night was night

Wrong was never right

It didn't matter where I went

As much as where I stood

I had dreams

Average size

There were stars

In the skies

Not my eyes

Then I got

Gold fever

No rompin', rollin' girl-and-fellow stuff

Can cure the gold fever

Nothin' can help you

But the yellow stuff

What

Can stop that itchin'

Ain't

Around the kitchen

Gold, gold

Hooked am I

Susannah, go ahead and cry

Once we all did honest work

Farmer, lawyer, clerk

Married men and single men

And some who ain't too sure

Now I look at them and see

Duplicates of me

Cured of what we suffered from

And sufferin' from the cure

Who can say

Why we came?

Where's the hope?

Where's the flame?

We're the same

When you've got

Gold fever

No rompin', rollin' girl-and-fellow stuff

Can cure the gold fever

Nothin' can help you
but the yellow stuff

What

Can stop that itchin' ain't

Around the kitchen

Gold, gold, hooked am I

Susannah, go ahead and cry

Gold fever

Gold fever

Gold fever

Gold fever

Gold fever

Deal.

By God, we made it.

Well, now they can open the box office.

Here's your day's earnings, Ben.

And here's yours, pardner.

I want you to tell Ben
something for me, will you?

He's sitting right there.

Just tell him that I'm moving on

Before winter sets in.

He can get himself
another pardner.

You bummers can, uh,

Divide up anything
I got coming here.

Where you heading?

Well, red dog.

I hear they're digging it up
in chunks over there.

By goom, they're always
digging it up in chunks

Somewhere else.

Good luck, man.

Thanks, Jack.

Jack, uh...

Tell Ben to look in
on Elizabeth.

The Fentys are pulling out.

She'll be alone.

You stinkin',
rotten heathen scum!

Silence, Judas.

Today is Sunday.

You are going
to hear the word of God

Whether you like it or not.

Get out of here!

And the word of the Lord
is doom, doom!

Sic the bull on him.

You can't do that.

Let him out!

Boo!

This town of lust
and corruption.

Get out of here.

Out, out, out.

You are not going to fight
that bear on the sabbath.

I represent the Lord,
and the Lord says

Get out of this arena.

Out, out!

The Lord will open up the earth,

And you will sink into the pit.

I said, sink into the pit.

I said, sink into the pit!

Well, I'll be god damned.

Hello, parson.

Welcome to hell.

Aah!
Aah!

Aah!
Aah!

Yet though I walk
through the valley

Of the shadow of death...

You better run through
that valley, not walk.

Aah!
Aah!

Uhh!

Will you kindly watch where
the hell you're falling,

My good man?

Aah!
Aah!

Mach schnell!

Now where are you going?

Ach du lieber himmel!
Nein, nein, nein!

Nein, nein, nein!

Have you...

have you seen pardner and Ben?

Pardner and Ben?

Have you seen pardner and Ben?

Where's Ben?

Ben Rumson!

Thy rod and thy staff,
they comfort me.

Aah!

You bloody maniacs,
go down there and get him!

Ben, where you going?

No name city, no name city

The Lord don't like it here

No name city, no name city

Your reckonin' day is here

No name city, no name city

Here's what He's gonna do

Gobble up this town
and swallow it down

And goodbye to you

Will you go to Heaven,
will you go to Hell?

Go to Hell

Either repentor fare thee well

Fare thee well

God'll take care of no name city

Comes the end,
it won't be pretty

Here it is

I mean, here it is

Here it is

I mean, here it is

Here it is

I mean, here it is

All Heaven or in Erin

Let me live until I die

In no name town

Let me live until I die...

I don't know about you, fellas,

Let's get out of here.

I think this place is crumbling.

Oh!

Aah!

Oh! Oh!

Be calm, my dear.

Aah!

Oh, pardner, where's Ben?

What the hell
are you doing there?

I didn't like that town,

But it'll seem funny
not having it there.

It's going to be a cold...

Long, hard winter without it.

I'm not leaving my home,
pardner.

I know that.

Do you have to go?

Can't we all try...
Living the way we used to?

No.

No, I can't.

You see, ever since that
night the Fentys came

And we were...

you and I were like

A real husband and wife...

I...

Couldn't live with you
any other way.

And you belong to Ben.

He shared you with me.

I didn't share you with him.

Ma'am...

Whoa, mule.

Did you know them farmers
was unpacking?

You mean the Fenty party?

Well, that might sound
like a party to you,

But it ain't my idea of one.

Hop in. You can't get
out of town that way.

Well, come on.

Giddup, mule.

I didn't see they was building
a church and courthouse

Till the rest
of the town went under.

Neither did I.

You still heading up to red dog?

Yeah. Still am.

Well, that's all right with me.
I don't care where we go

As long as I stay a hundred
miles ahead of civilization.

You moving out, Ben?

You want me to die?

Why, I can just see this valley

In about a year's time...

all broke out in a rash
of white clapboard houses,

Schools, churches,
courthouse, museum.

Ugh. Just one
big, bad dream.

What about Elizabeth?

I'm going to miss
that woman, pardner,

But you can't blast her
out of that cabin.

Funny, here we go
and build a town

Just the way we like it,

And then we go and sink it.
Giddup, mule!

Come on. Come on.
Giddup. Come on.

Pull up, Ben.

Whoa, mule.

What's the matter?

I'm staying.

I have to.

I always said you had
a farmer's mentality,

But you're still the best
pardner there ever was.

Well, you're the only
pardner that ever was.

Then that makes me the best.

Ain't you going to say
goodbye to Elizabeth?

No. I don't think I'll do that.

I'll get melancholy enough
later on as it is

Without picking up
an extra load now.

You say something nice
to her for me, par...

say, what the hell
is your name anyway?

Sylvester newel.

Sylvester newel.

Yeah, just one "I."

Well, that's a good name
for a farmer.

Well...

So long, pardner.

So long, Ben.

Never liked a man
as much as I like you.

Giddup!

Giddup!

Ben says goodbye, Elizabeth.

Aren't you going with him?

No.

No, I'm not going anywhere.

Do you think he'll be
all right, pardner?

Where's he going?

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

When will I be there?
I don't know

When will I get there?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

Got a dream, boy

Got a song

Paint your wagon

And come along

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

When will I be there?
I ain't certain

What will I get?
I ain't equipped to say

But who gives a damn?

I'm on my way

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain

All I know is
I am on my way

When will I be there?
I don't know

When will I get there?
I ain't certain

All that I know

Is I am on my way

Got a dream, boy

Got a song

Paint your wagon

And come along

Where am I goin'?

I don't know

When will I be there?

I ain't certain

What will I get?

I ain't equipped to say

But who gives a damn?

We're on our way

We're on our way

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

Gold fever

Gold fever

When will I be there?
I don't know

When will I get there?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

Gold fever

Gold fever

Got a dream, boy

Got a song

Paint your wagon

And come along

And get

Gold fever

No rompin', rollin' girl-and-fellow stuff

Can cure the

Gold fever

Nothin' can help you

But that yellow stuff

What

Can stop that itchin'

Ain't

Around the kitchen

Gold, gold

Gold, gold

Gold

They

Call the wind

Maria

Away out here

They got a name

For rain and wind

And fire

The rain is Tess

The fire's Joe

And they call the wind

Maria

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

I was born

Under a wand'rin' star

Wheels are made for rollin'

Mules are made to pack

I've never seen a sight

That didn't look better lookin' back

I was born

I was born...

A million miles

Send back the world

There's too much night for me

The sky is much too high
to shelter me

When darkness falls

Four cabin walls

Would be just right for me

A million miles away

Behind

The door

Where am I goin'?
I don't know

Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain

Gold fever

Gold fever

Al that I know is
I am on my way

You want to see sin
of the wickedest kind?

Here it is

You want to see virtue left behind?

Here it is

Sodom was vice and vice versa

You want to see where
the vice is worser?

Here it is

I mean, here it is

You want to see life
in the rottenest way?

Here it is

Women and whiskey night and day

Here it is

You want to embrace the golden calf

Ankle and thigh and upper half?

Here it is

I mean, here it is

Goin'? I don't know

Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain

All that I know is
I am on my way

Gold fever

Nothin' can help you

But the yellow stuff

What

Can stop that itchin'

Ain't

Around the kitchen

Gold, gold

Hooked am I

Susannah, go ahead and cry

A million miles away

Behind

The door