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1
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:10,711
(film reel flapping)
(dramatic music)
2
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:19,453
(gentle guitar music)
3
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:24,725
(rooster crowing)
(birds chirping)
4
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,396
(upbeat music)
5
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,379
- [Mindy] Richard Nixon
High wasn't the worst place
6
00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:47,281
to spend four years.
7
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,184
Well for the most part.
8
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:56,457
By and large, it was your
average suburban high school
9
00:00:56,490 --> 00:01:01,429
full of self-segregated
cliques and stereotypical angst
10
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:04,765
and at the top of the food
chain, the rich and beautiful.
11
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:06,634
That's us.
12
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,169
In the background.
13
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,538
There's me, Mindy Lipschitz.
14
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,372
(yells)
15
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,241
The assault victim.
16
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,209
And the girl with the Home
Alone look on her face.
17
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:16,177
- [Jodi] Oh thanks.
18
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,446
- [Mindy] That's
Jodi, my best friend.
19
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,448
We've been best friends
since third grade.
20
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:24,152
I'm the one with the
unfortunate eye patch.
21
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,587
(yelling)
22
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,523
As you can see, my school
kind of sucked for us
23
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:32,126
and so did Jodi's aim.
24
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,195
- [Jodi] Zombie fascist!
25
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:37,365
- [Mindy] Intended
target, Whitney Bennett,
26
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:40,868
voted most likely to be
charged with war crimes.
27
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,738
She was 5'7" of sculpted,
flawless, sociopath.
28
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,741
(glass shattering)
(car alarm blaring)
29
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,177
Actual target.
30
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:51,645
- Son of a...
31
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,347
- [Mindy] Principal Whitmore,
32
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:56,550
tormenting students since 1979.
33
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,387
- So sorry!
34
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,822
- [Mindy] And that's how
this whole thing started,
35
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,858
the rock that
launched a revolution.
36
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,565
- X-Files is on tonight.
37
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,667
- Can't, I have homework.
38
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,437
- What the F?
39
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,806
We get detention and
Whitney does a hair flip
40
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:21,175
and gets off scot-free.
41
00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,943
- Well if it makes
you feel any better,
42
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,414
in at least one of the
infinite multiverses,
43
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:27,815
she doesn't.
44
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,384
Hey, I know it seems
like high school
45
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:31,819
is the center of this
universe right now.
46
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:33,321
- Do not say it gets better.
47
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,289
Next year you'll be
in nerdvana at MIT
48
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,624
and I'll still be here
49
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,393
serving quadruple bypass
burgers at TGI Fridays.
50
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:42,230
- Or you could be
serving an entirely new
51
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:45,399
and decidedly
classier set in Boston
52
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:46,634
when you come to live with me.
53
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,868
- Great.
54
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,337
So in every multiverse
you know of,
55
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,272
I'm still waiting tables.
56
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,406
(sputters lips)
57
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,674
That's awesome.
58
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:54,908
- I gotta go.
59
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,311
I've got family
jazzercise at five.
60
00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:59,413
It's gonna get physical!
61
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:02,316
(both laugh)
62
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,651
- [Jodi] Good luck
with that jazzercising!
63
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,685
(laughs)
64
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:05,986
- I am in control!
65
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,388
(Jodi laughs)
66
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:08,289
- Weirdo!
67
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,723
- [Mindy] Maniac!
68
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:16,464
(oven timer dings)
69
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,370
- Hey Dad!
70
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:23,237
- Hey hon.
71
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:30,478
Mm mmm something smells
scrum-diddly-icious.
72
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,781
How was school?
73
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:34,915
- Oh you know,
74
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:39,420
legalized torture paid for
by the American taxpayer.
75
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:45,559
- Did you make the appointment
with the college counselor?
76
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,994
Jodi, you're
graduating this year.
77
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,862
I think it's time you figured
out where you're headed.
78
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,399
- Most likely into a menial job
that doesn't pay a living wage
79
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,000
so I can become a cog
in the 21st century's
80
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,435
version of serfdom.
81
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,404
- When did you start
speaking like Trotsky?
82
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,705
Look, I just want
you to be happy.
83
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,974
I want you to find
something that you love.
84
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:02,310
Follow your dreams.
85
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,912
- So single 40-something
postal carrier
86
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,380
with a PEZ collection
87
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,548
was what you put under
your yearbook photo?
88
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,884
- Hey, this PEZ collection
is gonna be valuable one day
89
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:15,289
and single and widow are two
completely different things.
90
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:17,991
- I know.
91
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,996
Dad, I mean it's
been five years.
92
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,998
You know, you're not
getting any younger.
93
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:26,534
- Age is just a number.
94
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,469
- That closely
correlates with death.
95
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,339
- You want me to start dating?
96
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:35,042
- I just want you to find
something you love, Herb.
97
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,644
Follow your dreams.
98
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,948
- I'll find a date if
you find a direction.
99
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,384
- One of those things is a
lot easier than the other.
100
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,552
- It's not finding a date--
101
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:47,388
- And it's not
finding a direction.
102
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,725
(sighs)
103
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,502
(beeping)
104
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,437
All right, so here's a new song.
105
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:06,507
I hope you enjoy it
and by you, I mean me
106
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,542
because I would rather admit
that Taylor Swift's music
107
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:12,780
has touched my cold, dark
heart than show it to anybody.
108
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,515
It's called Suburbageddon.
109
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,917
(guitar music)
110
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,121
(school bell rings)
111
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,857
- Bernoulli's theorem
will be on test next week.
112
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:28,061
Uh hey Mindy, could you uh
stick around for a nanosecond?
113
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:34,134
- (gasps) Oh did my
spectrofloatometer malfunction.
114
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,102
I knew I should have gotten--
115
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,604
- Hey, slow down, Sonic.
116
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,372
I spoke with my old roommate
117
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,974
who is on the
alumni board at MIT
118
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:44,578
and she agreed to set up a
special interview for you.
119
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,647
- (gasps) Are you serious?
120
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,848
- As a radiation leak.
121
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,517
- Oh my god, this is perfect.
122
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,519
Okay, next step
is the interview,
123
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:54,622
then get in obviously, get
first pick for all my classes,
124
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,690
graduate with honors and
then it will set me up
125
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,526
for one of the more
prestigious graduate programs.
126
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,761
- Mindy, one step at a time.
127
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:04,398
College is about more than
just classes and grades.
128
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:07,435
It's about exploring,
having fun.
129
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:11,038
I remember staying up
all night with my friends
130
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,407
solving proofs,
cracking equations.
131
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,808
It was pretty wild.
132
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,712
But some of my best memories
are just hanging out,
133
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,048
meeting new people,
living on the edge.
134
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,150
God I miss college.
135
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,586
- Well in my experience,
meeting new people
136
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,522
usually leads to relentless
mockery by said people.
137
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:30,157
- Don't you think that's
a little pessimistic.
138
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,792
Give people a chance.
139
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,494
They can often surprise you.
140
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,696
- That is a point worth
considering, Mr. Samuels.
141
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,597
- Go forth.
142
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,831
Go!
143
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,967
The world is ready
to embrace you.
144
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,069
(grunts)
145
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,104
- Boo loser.
146
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,474
- Eventually.
147
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,980
- [Mindy] Since Mr. Samuels was
basically my real-life Yoda,
148
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,482
I knew he was right.
149
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,984
He'd proven it was time
to give people a chance.
150
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,553
I think we should ask
Whitney to stop torturing us.
151
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:01,822
- Did you forget to wear
your gas mask in lab again?
152
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,657
- Whitney's a person too, right?
153
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,660
If we approach her like
confident, mature adults,
154
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:09,663
she will respect us and then
we can coexist in peace.
155
00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,031
- Of all the douche-nozzles
in this school,
156
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,066
Whitney is the worst.
157
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,769
- She hasn't been that horrible.
158
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,674
(squeals)
159
00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:22,810
(yells)
160
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,078
(rattling)
(banging)
161
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,079
- What the?
162
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,715
- Okay fine.
163
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:30,651
But it's this or suffer
from abject humiliation
164
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,753
for the rest of the year.
165
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:38,992
- So I said to her if you
don't stay away from Rick,
166
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:42,663
I will call the police and
say that you molested my hat
167
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,566
and you have to register
for that. (giggles)
168
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,734
- I'm here.
169
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,569
- Took you long enough.
170
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,738
- One center cut rare,
171
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,173
three meatball
subs, extra sauce,
172
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,976
a hard boiled egg
and a kombucha.
173
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,613
- I'm going to die a virgin
and you don't even care.
174
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:00,581
- Shh.
175
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,786
- Are you guys selling
band candy or something?
176
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,020
- Actually, no.
177
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,522
We were wondering if we
could talk to Whitney
178
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:09,790
for a second.
179
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,258
- Do you have an appointment?
180
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,459
- It's fine, Mackenzie.
181
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,996
I want to hear what Bill Nye
and the lesbian have to say.
182
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,204
- Hello.
183
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,939
We know that there has
been some bad blood
184
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:30,243
between us throughout the
years, but we are seniors now
185
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,646
and there is no reason
why we can't finish off
186
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,915
the school year being
civil to each other.
187
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,618
We thought that if we came
and spoke to you like adults,
188
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:42,623
we could come to some sort of
mutually beneficial agreement.
189
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:43,290
- Wow.
190
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,193
I applaud your courage.
191
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:49,897
Okay.
192
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,264
- Wait what?
193
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,634
- It didn't occur to me
until this exact moment
194
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,769
that I kind of respect you.
195
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:56,870
You didn't change
yourself to blend in,
196
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,606
which is much more
than can be said
197
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,741
for the rest of
these automatons.
198
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:04,077
- Well I'm glad we could
come to this understanding.
199
00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:07,347
- Actually, Colin's throwing
a party this Saturday.
200
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,315
You should come.
201
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:11,685
(energetic party music)
202
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,125
- Thank you for coming.
203
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:21,862
Friends don't let
friends drive drunk.
204
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,730
Ow.
205
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,700
The mean attractiveness
of this party
206
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,036
is statistically significant.
207
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,237
How do I look?
208
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,274
- Soccer mom goes
to the Olive Garden.
209
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,143
I guess we should...
210
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,811
- [Mindy] Colin!
211
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:38,478
- [Jodi] Oh perfect.
212
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:39,913
- Thank you for hosting us.
213
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,615
You have a lovely home.
214
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,784
My mom says never come
to a party empty handed.
215
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,252
- Sweet.
(urine splattering)
216
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,687
- Oh.
217
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,857
(Colin sighs of relief)
218
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,795
- Have fun, baby.
219
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:55,729
(lips smack)
(Mindy giggles awkwardly)
220
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,265
Hey bro, we got next game.
221
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,299
- Oh my god.
222
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:04,805
Is that really how I just
saw my first human penis?
223
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,674
- See, we are diversifying
224
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:10,811
our portfolio of high
school experiences already.
225
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,414
That contains Colin's urine.
226
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,282
- Hey.
227
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,851
MIT and what was it?
228
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,888
How's it going, guys?
229
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,990
- Well we haven't
been roofied yet so.
230
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,191
- Wow.
231
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,192
Aren't you enchanting?
232
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,160
- This is her trying to be nice.
233
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,796
- (scoffs) I'm hoping
to get time off
234
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,231
from this conversation
for good behavior.
235
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,866
- You're funny, Wellesley.
236
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:35,202
- Thanks, Penn State.
237
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,970
- I'm Dave by the way.
238
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,739
- We were lab partners
sophomore year.
239
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:39,873
- Um Mandy.
240
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:41,809
- Mindy.
241
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,243
- Mindy like...
242
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,913
- Like Mindy.
- Like Mindy, cool.
243
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,816
Any reason it would be awkward
for me not to know your name?
244
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,183
- Not unless you're
an avid follower
245
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,919
of the piccolo section in
the school marching band.
246
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,954
- Ah I'm more of a tuba
section guy myself.
247
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,155
- Well then I'm Jodi.
248
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,023
- Hi.
249
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,926
- There you guys are.
250
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:02,162
Welcome to the 1%. (giggles)
251
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,765
Follow me.
- Our pleasure.
252
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:05,799
- Good luck!
253
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,036
(mouth popping)
254
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,237
- Cool, right?
255
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:12,873
- Mackenzie!
256
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,375
Go fetch some drinks for
our guests of honor, please.
257
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:16,944
- Oh that's not, not.
258
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,311
(claps)
259
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,913
- Dorks, balls now.
260
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,818
- They want you to play pong.
261
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:26,887
- Like ping?
262
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:28,822
- No, beer.
263
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:30,958
- Oh.
264
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,263
- Thank you.
265
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:39,733
- Boom!
266
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:40,400
Drink.
267
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,308
- I think it's gone bad.
268
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,114
- No, that's just
what beer tastes like.
269
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,483
(chuckles)
270
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:57,985
- I don't lose.
271
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:00,888
(cheering)
272
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,522
- You did it!
- Yeah!
273
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:06,894
("We Gon' Dance"
by Hans Inglish)
274
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,364
- Excuse me!
275
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,866
Hello everyone.
276
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:47,968
Can I have your
attention please?
277
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,036
- Shh!
278
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,572
- Whitney would like
to say a few words.
279
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:56,977
(cheering)
(applause)
280
00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:58,912
- As you may have noticed,
281
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,347
we have some new
additions tonight,
282
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,883
Jodi Shallenberger
and Mindy Lipschitz.
283
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:03,917
(cheering)
(applause)
284
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:04,952
- Shit lips!
285
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,219
(laughter)
286
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:08,856
- Not so funny after four years.
287
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,123
- Now, most of us
walk past these two
288
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,192
and have never bothered
to get to know them.
289
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:15,929
So I put together a little
video of our very own Jodi
290
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:19,066
so we could all learn
a bit more about her.
291
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,935
(laughter)
292
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,436
- Someone's ballin'.
293
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,109
- [Boy] Who's Jodi?
294
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:29,943
Oh.
295
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:33,013
(keyboard clattering)
296
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,615
(lighthearted flute playing)
297
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,050
(laughter)
298
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,386
- Well any requests?
299
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:43,590
* Ooh eczema, I'm
gonna vanquish ya *
300
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:45,425
Yow!
301
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:48,061
(laughter)
302
00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:50,497
Oh you're such a good kisser.
303
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:55,903
I'd party down with you
any time, Adam Scott.
304
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,137
Oh my god.
305
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,941
- You know how there are the
birds and there are the bees.
306
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:06,013
How familiar are you
with male anatomy?
307
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,148
- Oh my god, Dad, I am 17.
308
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,251
- Hon, got your tampons.
309
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,519
(laughter)
310
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,486
- Dad!
311
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,989
No, I need maximum flow.
312
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,025
I told you, Dad!
313
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,059
- Oh no!
314
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,128
(laughter)
315
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:25,465
- Jodi, wait!
316
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,236
You're all mean!
317
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,103
Jodi!
318
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,379
(upbeat pop music)
319
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,054
- You're late.
320
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:50,057
(rattles handle)
321
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:55,662
- How epic was prank eight?
322
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,965
I want to be you when I grow up.
323
00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,599
- If you're going to
be in power next year,
324
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:03,170
this is your new Bible,
the 48 Laws of Power.
325
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:06,039
I suggest you heed
law number one.
326
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,610
- Never outshine the master.
327
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,080
(whistling)
328
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:16,449
- Your lawnmower man
is like so happy.
329
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,318
- Don't wave!
330
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,752
Mackenzie, drive.
331
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,158
* Reach all the stars
332
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,359
* 'Cause you are my friend
333
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:30,563
* And you're killing
it every day *
334
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,602
- Hey, Jodi.
335
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,005
It's me, your best friend.
336
00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:43,110
Um I'm at school right
now and you know,
337
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:46,179
it is really,
really not that bad.
338
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,615
Oy vey.
339
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:54,454
- Oh my god, have you seen
Jodi's Instagram feed?
340
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,357
Someone tagged a photo of
her on a box of tampons.
341
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,327
That is really not right.
- Oh my god.
342
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,495
- That prank was pretty
twisted, Whitney.
343
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:03,763
Even for you.
344
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,066
I mean, how mental
do you have to be
345
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,434
to put that much effort
346
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,601
into messing with
a couple of nerds
347
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,802
who were just trying
to make peace?
348
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:12,305
- All I had to do was teach
myself how to hack a webcam,
349
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,640
figure out Jodi's IP address
350
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,208
and then trick her
into responding
351
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:18,045
to a spyware email I
learned how to write.
352
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,179
- [Dave] You guys are demonic.
353
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,713
You're like medieval
to each other.
354
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,083
- I will not allow
Big Bang Theory
355
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,484
and her frizzy-haired lap dog
356
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,153
to roam the halls of this school
357
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,622
thinking that for one
second they are my equal.
358
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:33,026
- Law 15, crush
your enemy totally.
359
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,128
- [Rick] Right. (chuckles)
360
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,263
(knocking)
361
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:38,031
- Oh Jodi, coming in.
362
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:42,669
Remember that only
my opinion matters.
363
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,305
Hey, I brought you something.
364
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:49,342
I brought you my
favorite book on Tesla,
365
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,744
who was also totally defeated
366
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,147
and humiliated in his lifetime
367
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:56,783
and has since
regained popularity
368
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:59,419
and had a resurgence of respect.
369
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,721
Also brought some cookies.
370
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:04,224
They'll be good in an hour.
371
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,393
And a mint.
372
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,462
Yeah!
373
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:12,465
Oh.
374
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:19,272
You know, one day we are
gonna look back on this
375
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,408
and it is going to be--
376
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,310
- Uh just stop, Mindy.
377
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:26,179
I told you this
was gonna happen.
378
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,615
People like Whitney
don't change.
379
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:29,816
(sighs)
380
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,685
God, I knew I shouldn't have
clicked on that attachment.
381
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:36,423
New Tina Fey series,
piccolo players wanted.
382
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:39,592
- Okay, all right.
383
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:40,460
No, no.
384
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,163
No.
385
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:44,731
We're not accepting defeat.
386
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,765
Do we accept defeat?
387
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:46,633
No.
388
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,369
We are gonna win this one.
389
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,172
- I'm sure you understand
the definition of winning.
390
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:52,839
This...
391
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,409
Not winning.
392
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,610
- Hey.
393
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:58,745
I am serious.
394
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,349
We are gonna stand
up for ourselves.
395
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:03,216
- Yeah?
396
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,653
And how exactly are
we gonna do that?
397
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:11,258
- By beating those
fascists at their own game.
398
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,193
We're gonna be popular.
399
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:17,164
And not lame top 40
popular, awesome popular.
400
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,333
All of us.
401
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,868
All of the people
they have treated
402
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,570
like second class citizens
403
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,772
and then copied their
calculus homework.
404
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,440
- Popular people
don't take calculus.
405
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:30,643
- I know because
they are stupid dolts
406
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,481
who are gonna go to below
average universities
407
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,249
and get mediocre grades
408
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,251
and still end up
being our bosses
409
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,387
unless we do something
about it right now.
410
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:43,190
- Just like that, we're
gonna overthrow generations
411
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,458
of ingrained high
school social strata?
412
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:46,926
- Yes.
413
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,761
Is there anything we have
ever put our minds to
414
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,630
that we have not accomplished?
415
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,932
- Well we didn't get
Firefly back on the air.
416
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:53,800
- Shh!
417
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:58,338
Besides getting Firefly
back on the air.
418
00:18:58,371 --> 00:18:59,406
- Then...
419
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:01,774
No.
420
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,412
- [Mindy] Let's do this.
421
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:12,819
Boom!
422
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:16,389
And so it was.
423
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,525
The revolution was born.
424
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,760
And Tina Fey, if
you're listening,
425
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,530
I'd still play piccolo for you.
426
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:24,564
- Power to the peons.
427
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,333
The facts were simple.
428
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,401
There were more of us
than there were of them.
429
00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:31,271
So all we had to do was
convince the outsiders,
430
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,574
misfits and weirdos of the
school to ban together.
431
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,245
Basically we were gonna
unionize the outcasts.
432
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,379
Power to the peons.
433
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,347
- [Jodi] Oh wait.
434
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:44,384
- [Mindy] Unfortunately,
it wasn't that simple.
435
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:47,454
- Oh!
436
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:48,755
- Well that was a lucky shot.
437
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,357
Gross, but lucky.
- Yeah.
438
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,327
- Power to the peons!
439
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,363
(yells)
440
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,369
(shoes squeaking)
441
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:04,637
- Hi guys.
442
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:07,440
I am Claire,
ambassador troop 2579.
443
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,442
- Welcome, Claire.
444
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,244
- I like where your
horse head's at.
445
00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:12,779
Going straight Godfather, huh?
446
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,882
- It's a unicorn for
my spirit animal badge.
447
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,517
- You do realize that
this is a meeting
448
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,486
to launch a social revolution.
449
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,421
- Yup, I'm in.
450
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:22,489
Whatever you guys need.
451
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:23,423
- Oh great.
452
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,326
Well why don't you
take a seat inside
453
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,760
and we will be with you shortly.
454
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:28,628
- Yay!
455
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,065
- What the hell?
456
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,502
We talked to pretty much
every misfitoy in this school
457
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,271
and the only thing we have to
show for it is Marcia Brady.
458
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,907
- Hey, all revolutions
have to start somewhere.
459
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,376
Oh my god, Sugar Jones
incoming 12 o'clock.
460
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:47,280
("Step Aside" by Cheryl P.)
461
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,017
- No eye witnesses.
462
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,552
- Activate shield.
463
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,055
- I hear you're
trying to obliterate
464
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,924
the jackhole normative
power hierarchy
465
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,527
of this pathetic
excuse for a school.
466
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:04,597
- Well obliterate is kind
of extreme, but yeah.
467
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:05,432
- I'm in.
468
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:08,267
(hip hop music)
469
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,639
- Okay, we may be
small in number,
470
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:15,942
but we're all here
for a reason, right?
471
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:16,809
- Right.
472
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,846
Wait, why are we here?
- Jesus.
473
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,047
- If this is all we got to show,
474
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,484
I say we just burn this mother
down and be done with it.
475
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:26,453
- Arson sounds like
a fabulous plan.
476
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,454
- But if we need
to get more people,
477
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,656
we could go door to door
like I do with cookies.
478
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,391
It's an excellent way
to bond with people
479
00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:33,760
in a place where they feel
comfortable being themselves.
480
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,528
- Screw Girl Scout cookies,
481
00:21:35,562 --> 00:21:38,030
an obvious conspiracy
to subjugate girls
482
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:39,799
and force them into
traditional gender roles
483
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,568
by selling overpriced,
unremarkable,
484
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:45,505
and nutritionally-deficient
baked goods.
485
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:46,773
- We suck at this.
486
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,676
This isn't a revolution,
this is a girl band.
487
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:51,644
We need someone who
can work the system,
488
00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:53,913
Karl Rove good witch style.
489
00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,583
- Wait.
(liquid squirts)
490
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,385
- [Both] Virginia.
491
00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:00,052
- As president of the History,
492
00:22:00,086 --> 00:22:01,421
Young Democrats,
493
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:02,822
Multi United
Nations Club, I am--
494
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:04,524
- [Mindy] Virginia
Vanderkamp had locked up
495
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:07,660
most likely to succeed
in third grade.
496
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:11,964
Our junior year,
Virginia launched
497
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:14,401
the culmination of
all her hard work,
498
00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:16,936
a campaign for student
council president.
499
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:18,671
She had a well-oiled
political machine
500
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:20,607
and several key endorsements.
501
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,941
- Vote for me, Virginia.
502
00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:23,876
Do you want a pin?
- Hey Twilight, go Kyle.
503
00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:26,913
- [Mindy] But despite her
best efforts, she lost
504
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:29,048
to Kyle McDevon.
- Chipotle burritos, yeah!
505
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:30,617
- [Mindy] Whose campaign
speech consisted of
506
00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:32,519
giving out free
Chipotle gift cards.
507
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:34,086
- You want a burrito, Virginia?
508
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,555
- [Mindy] And spectacular abs.
509
00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:37,023
- [Kyle] Oh yeah!
510
00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:40,026
- [Mindy] After a
crushing defeat,
511
00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:41,461
she went where many a depressed
512
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:45,432
and disgruntled American
has gone before,
513
00:22:45,465 --> 00:22:47,567
France.
(film reel flapping)
514
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,936
Needless to say,
she didn't come back
515
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,604
from summer break the same.
516
00:22:51,638 --> 00:22:53,873
- What's your shirt say?
517
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:55,808
- Hell is other people.
518
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:58,978
- [Woman] Next.
519
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,950
- [Jodi] Oh this girl
definetely owns a pony.
520
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:07,654
- [Mindy] Does anyone
else feel underdressed?
521
00:23:10,089 --> 00:23:12,659
(doorbell rings)
522
00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:14,661
- [Virginia] Speak.
523
00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:15,862
- Hi, Virginia.
524
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:18,798
This is Mindy Lipschitz,
Jodi Shallenberger,
525
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:22,001
Sugar Jones and
Claire the Girl Scout.
526
00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,838
We were trying to upend the
social hierarchy of our school.
527
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,774
- Or destroy it.
528
00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:29,642
- And we could use your help.
529
00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:30,910
- [Virginia] I'm not interested
in your futile attempts
530
00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:32,645
to make sense of
the world's chaos.
531
00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:33,713
Be gone.
532
00:23:36,849 --> 00:23:39,452
(clears throat)
533
00:23:39,486 --> 00:23:43,656
- We were actually thinking
more along the lines of revenge.
534
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:50,162
- What?
535
00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:56,135
We tried to talk to all
the different groups,
536
00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:58,571
but nobody wanted
to join the cause.
537
00:23:58,605 --> 00:23:59,506
- Well of course not.
538
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:01,073
You think all the
outcasts are the same,
539
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:03,075
but really we're
like snowflakes,
540
00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:04,611
snowflakes that hate each other.
541
00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,479
Let me break it down for you.
542
00:24:06,513 --> 00:24:08,681
You've got your
basic overachievers,
your underachievers,
543
00:24:08,715 --> 00:24:11,718
your emos, your goths, your
bandos, your drama dorks,
544
00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:13,520
orchestra oddballs and gleeks.
545
00:24:13,553 --> 00:24:14,654
Then there are kids
lost in middle earth,
546
00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:17,724
kids lost in space, kids
who take up too much space,
547
00:24:17,757 --> 00:24:19,626
your steampunk, cyber
punk, classic punk,
548
00:24:19,659 --> 00:24:21,728
kids with foreign parents,
kids who are parents,
549
00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:23,563
Twihards, kids who try too hard,
550
00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:26,032
kids who write binary, kids
who reject the gender binary,
551
00:24:26,065 --> 00:24:28,034
gamers, stoners,
loners, anarchists,
552
00:24:28,067 --> 00:24:30,637
activists, masochists,
and atheists.
553
00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:32,071
There are more strains
of loser out there
554
00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:33,740
than the herpes virus.
555
00:24:33,773 --> 00:24:37,610
Uniting them under one
banner, that is no easy task.
556
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,746
- So we're screwed.
557
00:24:39,779 --> 00:24:43,750
- I said it wasn't easy, I
didn't say it was impossible.
558
00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:46,719
- [Mindy] What is this place?
559
00:24:46,753 --> 00:24:49,556
- It used to be my
campaign headquarters.
560
00:24:49,589 --> 00:24:51,157
Prior to that it was
used by my father
561
00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:53,593
to house his miniature
horse collection.
562
00:24:53,626 --> 00:24:56,596
Prior to that it was used by
my schizophrenic grandfather
563
00:24:56,629 --> 00:24:59,799
to interrogate
imaginary communists.
564
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:02,735
He won an imaginary
medal for that.
565
00:25:02,769 --> 00:25:05,204
- Man, rich white
people are messed up.
566
00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:06,706
- When I was running for office,
567
00:25:06,739 --> 00:25:09,842
I did a little
research on the voters.
568
00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:12,779
- So this is where the
NSA stores its data.
569
00:25:12,812 --> 00:25:15,582
- These files represent
the entire student body.
570
00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:17,684
Each one of them contains
your standard class list,
571
00:25:17,717 --> 00:25:20,553
GPA, activities, hobbies,
psychological profile,
572
00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:24,624
past and current lovers, and
most importantly weaknesses.
573
00:25:24,657 --> 00:25:25,792
- No effing way.
574
00:25:31,631 --> 00:25:34,133
- Point of weakness,
Tina Fey piccolo.
575
00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:35,968
Geeze am I that transparent?
576
00:25:36,002 --> 00:25:38,671
- Overtly aggressive,
lack of impulse control
577
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:41,674
militant with
anarchist undertones.
578
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:42,809
Nice.
579
00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:45,144
- Latent Napoleonic tendencies.
580
00:25:46,746 --> 00:25:49,048
What does yours say, Claire?
581
00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:51,984
- It just says Girl Scout.
582
00:25:52,018 --> 00:25:55,021
- What's in your file, Virginia?
583
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:57,757
- I don't have any weaknesses.
584
00:26:00,092 --> 00:26:02,862
These three files
represent the king pins
585
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,330
of the school's underclass.
586
00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:06,365
Convince them and you
have a shot at this thing.
587
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:09,969
The key is figuring out
what makes people tick
588
00:26:10,002 --> 00:26:12,138
and then exploiting
it mercilessly.
589
00:26:12,171 --> 00:26:13,840
- I like you, Virginia
590
00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:16,676
even if you are named
after a slave state.
591
00:26:16,709 --> 00:26:19,345
- First up, Howard Chang,
592
00:26:19,378 --> 00:26:21,013
leader of the young
entrepreneurs.
593
00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:23,650
Points of weakness,
black mock turtlenecks,
594
00:26:23,683 --> 00:26:26,719
technology savvy women
and the word billion.
595
00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:28,855
- I get what you
guys are going for.
596
00:26:28,888 --> 00:26:30,289
I think it's very innovative,
597
00:26:30,322 --> 00:26:32,191
but it's just not right for us.
598
00:26:32,224 --> 00:26:35,061
We're working on an app right
now that's gonna blow up.
599
00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:37,797
Asiavous, Facebook for Asians.
600
00:26:38,798 --> 00:26:40,767
And besides, I've got
to look to the future,
601
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,702
not worry about high school.
602
00:26:42,735 --> 00:26:43,736
I still have to get
603
00:26:44,637 --> 00:26:45,471
into Harvard, then
drop out of Harvard
604
00:26:45,504 --> 00:26:48,074
before I can start
my first company.
605
00:26:48,307 --> 00:26:51,911
- Here's to the crazy ones,
the misfits, the rebels.
606
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:54,246
You can quote them or
disagree with them,
607
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,349
but the only thing you
can't do is ignore them
608
00:26:57,383 --> 00:26:59,018
because they change things.
609
00:26:59,051 --> 00:27:00,920
- Do you know who said that?
610
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:04,390
Apple and that is why
they make billions.
611
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:09,328
- Next is Martin Vimmel,
612
00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:13,099
head of the Science
Fiction Club.
613
00:27:13,132 --> 00:27:14,834
Points of weakness, hard sci-fi,
614
00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:18,237
the sound of his own voice
and very aggressive women.
615
00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:19,872
(dark music)
616
00:27:19,906 --> 00:27:21,674
- Okay, here's the deal.
617
00:27:21,708 --> 00:27:23,676
Just because you're
a science geek,
618
00:27:23,710 --> 00:27:26,846
doesn't mean we're
your comrades in arms.
619
00:27:26,879 --> 00:27:28,981
Science is about what is.
620
00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:31,417
Any idiot can do that.
621
00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:35,287
Science-fiction is
about what could be.
622
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:36,889
- We're huge Dr. Who fans.
623
00:27:36,923 --> 00:27:38,157
- Yeah, the Matt Smith years
624
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,059
completely turned
the series around.
625
00:27:40,092 --> 00:27:41,293
- Completely.
626
00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:44,030
- Tell you what,
give me the title
627
00:27:44,063 --> 00:27:47,333
of one Neal Stephenson
novel, just one,
628
00:27:47,366 --> 00:27:50,036
and I'll join your little group.
629
00:27:51,137 --> 00:27:53,239
- You think skinny,
anemic fanboys
630
00:27:53,272 --> 00:27:55,842
have a monopoly on the
one fictional genre
631
00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:57,844
where women and people of color
632
00:27:57,877 --> 00:28:00,346
get to exist outside of
backwards societal norms
633
00:28:00,379 --> 00:28:02,181
and traditional confinements?
634
00:28:02,214 --> 00:28:05,051
Not to mention a genre
largely premised on the idea
635
00:28:05,084 --> 00:28:08,354
that future dystopia is
the inevitable outcome
636
00:28:08,387 --> 00:28:11,958
of the current system
of patriarchal excess?
637
00:28:11,991 --> 00:28:12,825
Idiot.
638
00:28:14,393 --> 00:28:18,497
Oh and Cryptonomicon,
Snow Crash, Anathem.
639
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:19,999
Should I go on?
640
00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:24,971
(zipper sliding)
641
00:28:25,004 --> 00:28:28,274
- Louis Hammerschmidt,
leader of the Fantasy Club.
642
00:28:28,307 --> 00:28:31,377
Points of weakness,
Elven languages,
643
00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:34,146
heroic aspirations
and any woman.
644
00:28:35,815 --> 00:28:39,518
- Whitney Bennett is the Cersei
Lannister of high school.
645
00:28:39,551 --> 00:28:40,486
You guys are idiots if you think
646
00:28:40,519 --> 00:28:43,522
you can play the Game
of Thrones with her.
647
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:48,327
I'm sorry, but I'm not going
to end up like Ned Stark.
648
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,463
- Louis, think of it like this.
649
00:28:51,497 --> 00:28:53,199
What if Frodo hadn't
left the Shire
650
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:54,867
and fought against
the Dark Lord?
651
00:28:54,901 --> 00:28:57,136
(chuckles)
652
00:28:59,005 --> 00:29:02,775
- (speaks in Elven) Louis.
653
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,281
(bubbles rumble)
654
00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,021
Thanks for the ride.
655
00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:16,889
- I'm really glad
I'm helping you guys
656
00:29:16,923 --> 00:29:18,757
with this whole thing.
657
00:29:19,926 --> 00:29:21,427
I've always admired you.
658
00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:22,294
- Really?
659
00:29:23,129 --> 00:29:24,396
Why?
660
00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:26,365
- You're just so
unapologetic for who you are.
661
00:29:26,398 --> 00:29:28,034
- That's been a
recurring problem.
662
00:29:28,067 --> 00:29:30,803
- So when did you know?
663
00:29:30,837 --> 00:29:33,505
- That I rubbed
people the wrong way?
664
00:29:33,539 --> 00:29:37,176
- I haven't heard that
one before, but yeah.
665
00:29:37,209 --> 00:29:40,079
- Um you know, I guess it
was pretty obvious since
666
00:29:40,112 --> 00:29:44,116
I was a kid, but I really hit
my stride in middle school.
667
00:29:44,150 --> 00:29:45,484
(laughs)
668
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:48,287
- I rub people
the wrong way too.
669
00:29:49,155 --> 00:29:50,890
I mean, I haven't actually yet.
670
00:29:50,923 --> 00:29:52,959
But I want to someday.
671
00:29:54,060 --> 00:29:55,962
First I have to figure
out how to tell them.
672
00:29:55,995 --> 00:29:59,031
- That you're rude
and obnoxious?
673
00:29:59,065 --> 00:30:00,299
- That I'm gay.
674
00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:02,601
- Wait what?
675
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:05,004
- It's so great to talk to
somebody who's already out.
676
00:30:05,037 --> 00:30:06,238
You're like my hero.
677
00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:07,940
When you walked
through the school
678
00:30:07,974 --> 00:30:09,375
with that sign on your back
announcing that you were gay,
679
00:30:09,408 --> 00:30:11,310
I could not believe
how brave you were.
680
00:30:11,343 --> 00:30:13,212
- Okay first of all,
681
00:30:13,245 --> 00:30:15,614
someone put that sign
on my back as a prank
682
00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:18,484
and secondly, why does
everyone think I'm gay?
683
00:30:18,517 --> 00:30:21,220
- You do wear a lot of vests.
684
00:30:21,253 --> 00:30:22,088
- Huh.
685
00:30:23,222 --> 00:30:25,324
- I'm sorry, I just,
I thought that--
686
00:30:25,357 --> 00:30:27,359
- No, it's okay.
687
00:30:27,393 --> 00:30:30,162
I'm really glad
that you told me.
688
00:30:31,964 --> 00:30:32,598
So...
689
00:30:34,633 --> 00:30:36,335
When did you know?
690
00:30:36,368 --> 00:30:38,170
- I think it finally
clicked when I realized
691
00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:41,040
I didn't just love
Veronica Mars,
692
00:30:41,073 --> 00:30:43,375
I loved Veronica Mars.
693
00:30:43,409 --> 00:30:44,243
- Preach.
694
00:30:45,477 --> 00:30:47,613
- I will, I will see you
at school in the halls.
695
00:30:47,646 --> 00:30:50,016
You know and say hi to me.
696
00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:54,586
- See you later.
- [Claire] See you.
697
00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:02,628
(car horn beeps)
698
00:31:02,661 --> 00:31:04,430
- Things are happening, Herb.
699
00:31:04,463 --> 00:31:06,999
Things are happening.
700
00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:08,067
- Yes they are.
701
00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:11,303
New York Performing Arts School.
702
00:31:11,337 --> 00:31:12,671
(groans)
703
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:13,505
Deal's a deal.
704
00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:14,907
I have a date with Carol
705
00:31:14,941 --> 00:31:17,977
and you have a
date with destiny.
706
00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:20,012
(sighs)
707
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,615
- [Woman] Find love today.
708
00:31:23,649 --> 00:31:25,451
- Things are happening.
709
00:31:25,484 --> 00:31:27,987
- Raise your hand if
you've ever eaten lunch
710
00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:29,888
in a bathroom stall.
711
00:31:31,090 --> 00:31:34,060
Been made fun of
because of your weight,
712
00:31:34,093 --> 00:31:37,163
ethnicity, sexual orientation,
713
00:31:37,196 --> 00:31:41,100
or knowledge of the
periodic table of elements.
714
00:31:42,534 --> 00:31:44,570
- Well it's time we
did something about it.
715
00:31:44,603 --> 00:31:45,771
- It's time you
got to the point.
716
00:31:45,804 --> 00:31:49,942
It's been 42 seconds and I
still don't know your product,
717
00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:51,978
your plan or your profit point.
718
00:31:52,011 --> 00:31:54,513
If you want to endlessly
pontificate start a blog.
719
00:31:54,546 --> 00:31:56,048
- We have a blog.
720
00:31:56,082 --> 00:31:58,684
It's called
WeCanTellYouThePlan.tumbler.com.
721
00:31:58,717 --> 00:32:01,020
- Oh no, here comes
angry black girl.
722
00:32:01,053 --> 00:32:03,022
- Oh I'm not angry
because I'm black.
723
00:32:03,055 --> 00:32:05,324
I'm angry because
I'm paying attention.
724
00:32:05,357 --> 00:32:07,559
- All we're saying is that
if we don't stick together,
725
00:32:07,593 --> 00:32:11,097
we have no chance of standing
up to the evil empire.
726
00:32:11,130 --> 00:32:13,632
- What you're proposing is
like the Rebel Alliance.
727
00:32:13,665 --> 00:32:15,234
- Star Wars, classic sci-fi.
728
00:32:15,267 --> 00:32:16,602
- I'm sorry to interrupt,
729
00:32:16,635 --> 00:32:20,706
but I think Star Wars
technically constitutes fantasy.
730
00:32:20,739 --> 00:32:22,608
- Uh in what galaxy?
731
00:32:22,641 --> 00:32:25,311
- It's an archetypal
hero's quest.
732
00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:26,645
That's fantasy.
733
00:32:26,678 --> 00:32:29,048
- Um yeah, set in a
technologically advanced society
734
00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:30,082
with space ships.
735
00:32:30,116 --> 00:32:31,250
- [Louis] And sword fighting.
736
00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:32,551
- [Martin] Light
sabers are not swords.
737
00:32:32,584 --> 00:32:34,086
- What about the Force?
738
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,587
That's magic.
739
00:32:35,621 --> 00:32:38,190
- Which was scientifically
explained by midichlorians.
740
00:32:38,224 --> 00:32:42,461
- Are you actually citing
the prequels to me right now?
741
00:32:42,494 --> 00:32:44,063
- Why do we have two
sci-fi nerds here?
742
00:32:44,096 --> 00:32:46,332
- He's sci-fi, I'm fantasy.
743
00:32:46,365 --> 00:32:47,766
It's totally different.
744
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:49,168
- Totally different.
745
00:32:49,201 --> 00:32:51,337
- But neither of
you get laid, right?
746
00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:53,405
- This is exactly the problem.
747
00:32:53,439 --> 00:32:55,074
What is a popular person?
748
00:32:55,107 --> 00:32:56,775
What makes them
different from us?
749
00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:58,177
- Attractiveness.
750
00:32:58,210 --> 00:32:59,211
- Flawless skin.
751
00:32:59,245 --> 00:33:00,346
- A large number of followers.
752
00:33:00,379 --> 00:33:01,613
- Wrong.
753
00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:02,681
That's what they
want you to think
754
00:33:02,714 --> 00:33:04,116
because they need you to believe
755
00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:06,085
that it's hard to be popular.
756
00:33:06,118 --> 00:33:07,786
The only difference
between them and us
757
00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:08,920
is that they are unified.
758
00:33:08,954 --> 00:33:11,790
So while we're sitting here
tearing each other apart
759
00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:13,392
over who would win in a battle
760
00:33:13,425 --> 00:33:16,028
between Batman
and Green Lantern.
761
00:33:16,062 --> 00:33:17,229
- Batman.
- Green Lantern.
762
00:33:17,263 --> 00:33:20,732
- They're sitting pretty
and ruling our school.
763
00:33:20,766 --> 00:33:23,169
- So what are you asking
for, blind loyalty,
764
00:33:23,202 --> 00:33:26,172
that we just pretend
we're all friends?
765
00:33:26,205 --> 00:33:29,175
- No, not blind
loyalty, real loyalty.
766
00:33:30,209 --> 00:33:31,643
We all have something in common.
767
00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:33,379
We've been kept on the
outskirts of a school
768
00:33:33,412 --> 00:33:35,114
that we help make great and--
769
00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:37,183
- We are the movers
and the shakers.
770
00:33:37,216 --> 00:33:40,252
We are the club presidents
and the innovators.
771
00:33:40,286 --> 00:33:42,654
We are the ones with our hands
772
00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:45,157
on the beating
pulse of otherness
773
00:33:45,191 --> 00:33:49,361
that make America the best
effing country in the GD world.
774
00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:54,133
So I say let's stop
bending over and taking it
775
00:33:54,166 --> 00:33:55,334
and stand together.
776
00:33:55,367 --> 00:33:58,537
(inspirational music)
777
00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:03,375
And so it began, our
Independence Day.
778
00:34:03,409 --> 00:34:05,277
At first, the
changes were small,
779
00:34:05,311 --> 00:34:06,378
a smile here,
780
00:34:08,180 --> 00:34:11,583
a random act of
non-douche baggery there.
781
00:34:13,452 --> 00:34:18,224
In shared struggles, former
enemies forged new alliances.
782
00:34:18,257 --> 00:34:19,458
- Lactards unite.
783
00:34:22,761 --> 00:34:24,163
- [Mindy] Some of us
learned the ancient art
784
00:34:24,196 --> 00:34:25,531
of not getting our asses kicked.
785
00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:27,833
(grunting)
786
00:34:29,268 --> 00:34:32,271
- So I'll try not
to hurt you too...
787
00:34:34,773 --> 00:34:36,208
(coughs)
788
00:34:36,242 --> 00:34:37,309
- [Mindy] Some of
us combined forces
789
00:34:37,343 --> 00:34:40,212
to design innovative
solutions to age-old problems.
790
00:34:40,246 --> 00:34:41,447
- What's up, turtleneck?
791
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,782
I lost my iPhone and
I'm gonna need yours.
792
00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:44,616
(cell phone buzzing)
793
00:34:44,650 --> 00:34:47,319
(alarm blaring)
794
00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:52,258
You've got five seconds
to hand it over.
795
00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:55,327
(dramatic music)
796
00:34:55,361 --> 00:34:57,196
What the hell is that?
797
00:35:07,306 --> 00:35:09,775
What are you gonna
do, Dildo Baggins?
798
00:35:09,808 --> 00:35:10,909
- Hi-yah!
799
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:12,711
(coughing)
800
00:35:12,744 --> 00:35:16,114
(inspirational music)
801
00:35:25,491 --> 00:35:26,325
- Get him!
802
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:38,870
Smells like Comic
Con in here anyway.
803
00:35:41,340 --> 00:35:42,308
- Yes!
804
00:35:42,341 --> 00:35:44,376
(cheering)
(applause)
805
00:35:44,410 --> 00:35:45,411
- [Mindy] And once the outcasts
806
00:35:45,444 --> 00:35:47,179
became a united front,
807
00:35:47,213 --> 00:35:49,781
the rest of the school
fell like dominoes.
808
00:35:49,815 --> 00:35:51,717
Political power, check.
809
00:35:52,784 --> 00:35:54,220
Never getting picked last again.
810
00:35:54,253 --> 00:35:54,953
- Come on!
811
00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:56,322
- [Mindy] Check.
812
00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:57,289
- You guys can suck it!
813
00:35:57,323 --> 00:35:59,791
- And that is why the
singularity is near.
814
00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:02,228
(cheering)
(applause)
815
00:36:02,261 --> 00:36:04,763
- [Mindy] Debate
tournaments were in.
816
00:36:04,796 --> 00:36:06,698
Organized sports were out.
817
00:36:06,732 --> 00:36:10,736
(cheering)
(party horn blares)
818
00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:14,606
And slowly, things began
to actually change.
819
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,475
Dork was the new popular.
820
00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:17,843
- [Girl] Ow!
(locker slams)
821
00:36:17,876 --> 00:36:18,944
- [Mindy] We
couldn't believe it.
822
00:36:18,977 --> 00:36:23,382
Every flavor of weirdo was
breaking bread together.
823
00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:26,452
- We should do
something to celebrate
824
00:36:26,485 --> 00:36:28,520
how awesome we are.
825
00:36:28,554 --> 00:36:31,890
- Yeah, even the goths
look kind of happy.
826
00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:36,495
- Guys, we just pulled off the
bloodless coup of the century
827
00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:38,430
and it is--
828
00:36:38,464 --> 00:36:40,399
- Probably just a
phase or something.
829
00:36:40,432 --> 00:36:43,735
Like I herd Mercury is
supposedly going renegade.
830
00:36:43,769 --> 00:36:45,337
- Here's the truth.
831
00:36:45,371 --> 00:36:47,473
One day, I will be in a place
832
00:36:47,506 --> 00:36:51,943
where power isn't determined
by acned suburban subliterates
833
00:36:51,977 --> 00:36:55,281
and that place
will be Princeton.
834
00:36:55,314 --> 00:36:58,717
But for now, I have to
cater to these morons
835
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:01,019
who apparently think
pretending they're popular
836
00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:03,389
actually means they're popular.
837
00:37:03,422 --> 00:37:05,357
What's law number five?
838
00:37:06,425 --> 00:37:08,660
Much depends on our reputation.
839
00:37:08,694 --> 00:37:10,329
Guard it with our life, get it?
840
00:37:10,362 --> 00:37:11,497
We are our reputation.
841
00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:15,601
So right now I'd say it's
pretty clear that we are...
842
00:37:15,634 --> 00:37:16,635
- Mmm toast.
843
00:37:19,371 --> 00:37:22,408
- The thing about power
is when you don't have it,
844
00:37:22,441 --> 00:37:23,775
someone else does.
845
00:37:23,809 --> 00:37:26,378
So you say phase and
I say insurrection
846
00:37:26,412 --> 00:37:27,446
and if Stalin
taught us anything,
847
00:37:27,479 --> 00:37:31,783
the only response to
insurrection is to crush it.
848
00:37:32,951 --> 00:37:33,785
Quickly.
849
00:37:35,454 --> 00:37:37,856
- Stephanie, purple is
definetely your color.
850
00:37:37,889 --> 00:37:41,460
Chase, good luck on that
first chair open audition.
851
00:37:41,493 --> 00:37:44,930
Sarah, your Blanche
DuBois was transcendental.
852
00:37:44,963 --> 00:37:47,333
Hey, you, me, Magic
the Gathering.
853
00:37:47,366 --> 00:37:49,368
Fifth period, whoo!
854
00:37:49,401 --> 00:37:50,536
Oh Mr. Samules.
855
00:37:50,569 --> 00:37:53,405
(gasps) Methane!
856
00:37:53,439 --> 00:37:54,540
I'm just goofing.
857
00:37:54,573 --> 00:37:55,407
- Oh well.
858
00:37:57,443 --> 00:37:58,844
Nice balls, Milton.
859
00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:04,383
(laughs)
860
00:38:04,416 --> 00:38:05,451
- Shenanigans.
861
00:38:05,484 --> 00:38:08,086
- Geeze, like
Pandora's box opened up
862
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:11,623
and it was filled with
weirdos and losers.
863
00:38:13,492 --> 00:38:15,093
Oh what's that?
864
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:15,961
Yup.
865
00:38:18,464 --> 00:38:20,999
- Every scientist
needs an arch nemesis.
866
00:38:21,032 --> 00:38:22,434
He's right though.
867
00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:24,102
The school does seem
different lately.
868
00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:25,971
You have anything
to do with that?
869
00:38:26,004 --> 00:38:29,441
- I can neither prove nor
disprove that hypothesis.
870
00:38:29,475 --> 00:38:30,676
- Well whoever is responsible,
871
00:38:30,709 --> 00:38:33,845
I can't help but thinking it
is exactly the type of person
872
00:38:33,879 --> 00:38:37,483
who would go over like
gangbusters in an MIT interview.
873
00:38:37,516 --> 00:38:38,450
(laughs)
874
00:38:38,484 --> 00:38:39,651
- Gangbusters.
875
00:38:42,454 --> 00:38:44,923
(chuckles)
876
00:38:44,956 --> 00:38:46,958
I don't know, I've got
it narrowed down to two.
877
00:38:46,992 --> 00:38:48,660
I've got maroon and black
878
00:38:48,694 --> 00:38:50,596
and I'm not sure which
goes better with my dickey,
879
00:38:50,629 --> 00:38:52,831
but my dickey kind of
goes with everything
880
00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:55,567
and I keep thinking what
would Neil deGrasse Tyson do,
881
00:38:55,601 --> 00:38:57,436
but then again I'm not
Neil deGrasse Tyson,
882
00:38:57,469 --> 00:38:58,570
but then again.
883
00:38:58,604 --> 00:39:00,939
- Mindy, Mindy, stop worrying.
884
00:39:00,972 --> 00:39:03,575
They'd be Darwin Award grade
morons not to take you.
885
00:39:03,609 --> 00:39:06,612
- I keep imagining how
great it would be next year,
886
00:39:06,645 --> 00:39:10,749
me at MIT, you coming to
live with me in Boston.
887
00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:13,785
- Um Mindy, there's
something I've--
888
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:15,821
- Oh oh!
(car horn blares)
889
00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:18,123
Okay, I gotta go, that's my mom.
890
00:39:18,156 --> 00:39:19,491
Wish me luck.
891
00:39:19,525 --> 00:39:20,526
- Good luck.
892
00:39:30,536 --> 00:39:33,104
- But then in ninth grade, the
Young Astronomers Association
893
00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:35,106
selected me for the
Rising Star Award,
894
00:39:35,140 --> 00:39:37,576
which I accepted
despite the lazy pun
895
00:39:37,609 --> 00:39:39,778
and then in 10th grade
I won second prize
896
00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:41,580
at the state science fair
897
00:39:41,613 --> 00:39:44,683
for my project anisotropic
versus isotropic materials.
898
00:39:44,716 --> 00:39:46,885
- Okay Mindy, it's clear that
899
00:39:46,918 --> 00:39:49,788
you're a really
talented scientist.
900
00:39:49,821 --> 00:39:51,757
Great grades, great test scores.
901
00:39:51,790 --> 00:39:54,192
But what makes you tick?
902
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,127
What makes you special?
903
00:39:57,162 --> 00:39:59,498
Like okay, when I was at MIT,
904
00:39:59,531 --> 00:40:01,767
I was a member of
the Hacks, right.
905
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,535
Learned more from
pulling off those pranks
906
00:40:03,569 --> 00:40:05,904
than in any class I took so.
907
00:40:08,974 --> 00:40:11,142
- Well as I mentioned,
908
00:40:11,176 --> 00:40:14,780
I am president of the
school science club
909
00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:16,748
and a national merit scholar
910
00:40:16,782 --> 00:40:21,219
and I can recite the entire
periodic table of elements.
911
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:22,521
Would you like me to?
912
00:40:22,554 --> 00:40:23,922
I can do it.
913
00:40:23,955 --> 00:40:25,657
There's antimony, arsenic,
aluminum, selenium
914
00:40:25,691 --> 00:40:27,225
and hydrogen and oxygen
and nitrogen and rhenium
915
00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:28,994
and nickel, neodymium,
neptunium, germanium
916
00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:30,729
and iron, americium,
ruthenium, uranium,
917
00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:32,598
europium, zirconium,
lutetium, vanadium
918
00:40:32,631 --> 00:40:34,165
and lanthanum and osmium
and astatine and radium
919
00:40:34,199 --> 00:40:36,535
and gold and protactinium and
indium and gallium (gasps)
920
00:40:36,568 --> 00:40:38,604
and iodine and thorium
and thulium and thallium.
921
00:40:38,637 --> 00:40:39,237
There's...
922
00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:41,206
(hums)
923
00:40:52,718 --> 00:40:54,185
- Hey.
924
00:40:54,219 --> 00:40:55,020
I saw you dancing.
925
00:40:55,053 --> 00:40:56,054
What's going on?
926
00:40:56,087 --> 00:40:57,923
What you listening to?
927
00:40:59,190 --> 00:41:00,125
- Um Bowie.
928
00:41:02,928 --> 00:41:04,029
What's that, Nickelback?
929
00:41:04,062 --> 00:41:06,097
- Oh yeah, huge Nickelback fan.
930
00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:06,865
Love it.
931
00:41:06,898 --> 00:41:08,133
Canadian icons.
932
00:41:10,836 --> 00:41:12,003
- You like Carole King?
933
00:41:12,037 --> 00:41:13,672
- It makes me feel
like a natural woman.
934
00:41:13,705 --> 00:41:16,642
Who can't relate to that,
you know what I mean?
935
00:41:16,675 --> 00:41:18,710
- Let's not forget that
the last time I saw you,
936
00:41:18,744 --> 00:41:19,611
you and your
friends orchestrated
937
00:41:19,645 --> 00:41:22,614
the most humiliating
moment of my life.
938
00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:23,582
- Yeah, okay.
939
00:41:23,615 --> 00:41:25,584
First of all, I'm sorry.
940
00:41:25,617 --> 00:41:27,619
I had no idea that
was gonna happen.
941
00:41:27,653 --> 00:41:28,720
Do you think that anyone knows
942
00:41:28,754 --> 00:41:30,889
what's going on in American
Psycho Barbie's head?
943
00:41:30,922 --> 00:41:32,824
No and second of all,
944
00:41:32,858 --> 00:41:35,627
that stuff was not humiliating.
945
00:41:36,795 --> 00:41:39,230
Except in all the ways
that it was humiliating.
946
00:41:39,264 --> 00:41:40,732
I'm surprised you
didn't change schools.
947
00:41:40,766 --> 00:41:42,701
But here look,
hey, positive side.
948
00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:45,003
Eczema song, knocked
it out the park.
949
00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:46,738
- Can you just not?
- Rickets.
950
00:41:46,772 --> 00:41:48,039
Do you have a song about
rickets for my grandad?
951
00:41:48,073 --> 00:41:49,941
He's got rickets.
952
00:41:49,975 --> 00:41:51,943
- I don't, I don't get it.
953
00:41:51,977 --> 00:41:53,111
- I guess you wouldn't get it,
954
00:41:53,144 --> 00:41:54,279
you're a young
woman, very healthy.
955
00:41:54,312 --> 00:41:55,180
- No.
956
00:41:56,147 --> 00:41:57,616
I mean, you know, you
seem like you aren't
957
00:41:57,649 --> 00:41:59,785
a completely heinous human being
958
00:41:59,818 --> 00:42:02,287
and have at least a
modicum of a soul.
959
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,790
- That is the sweetest thing
that anyone's ever said to me.
960
00:42:04,823 --> 00:42:05,657
Thank you.
961
00:42:07,659 --> 00:42:09,761
- How can you hang out
with Adolf Whitler?
962
00:42:09,795 --> 00:42:12,731
- Look, trust me, I
know how awful she is.
963
00:42:12,764 --> 00:42:15,000
What you think you have a
copyright on teen angst?
964
00:42:15,033 --> 00:42:17,703
It's high school, we're all put
into a box and marginalized.
965
00:42:17,736 --> 00:42:19,671
Look at me, I hang
out with Colin.
966
00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:20,806
I've known Colin since
the second grade.
967
00:42:20,839 --> 00:42:22,908
The guy is, he's an idiot.
968
00:42:22,941 --> 00:42:24,643
But what am I supposed to do?
969
00:42:24,676 --> 00:42:27,713
Not all of us have the guts to
stage a full-scale rebellion.
970
00:42:27,746 --> 00:42:29,347
- Mindy's the brains
behind the operation.
971
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:32,150
- You just write
the theme music?
972
00:42:33,685 --> 00:42:35,887
Look um, for what it's worth,
973
00:42:37,122 --> 00:42:40,759
I'm glad you didn't
transfer schools.
974
00:42:40,792 --> 00:42:42,961
My hand's on your shoulder.
975
00:42:42,994 --> 00:42:46,331
Full contact, shoulder touching.
976
00:42:46,364 --> 00:42:47,733
Pound it, blow it up.
977
00:42:47,766 --> 00:42:49,067
(imitates explosion)
978
00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:50,836
Explosion.
- Yeah.
979
00:42:50,869 --> 00:42:51,937
- Okay. (laughs awkwardly)
980
00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:53,571
Oh um by the way,
981
00:42:54,906 --> 00:42:58,243
Bowie totally made
weird awesome.
982
00:42:58,276 --> 00:43:01,647
("Good Time" by MIIA)
983
00:43:07,886 --> 00:43:09,120
- Check mate.
984
00:43:09,154 --> 00:43:10,255
(laughs)
985
00:43:10,288 --> 00:43:12,357
(yelling)
986
00:43:12,390 --> 00:43:15,627
(cheering)
987
00:43:15,661 --> 00:43:17,829
(yelling)
988
00:43:21,199 --> 00:43:23,702
(grunting)
989
00:43:23,735 --> 00:43:25,971
(cheering)
990
00:43:37,883 --> 00:43:40,285
(clucking chicken)
991
00:43:40,318 --> 00:43:42,620
(laughs)
992
00:43:43,855 --> 00:43:44,956
- Killing it.
993
00:43:46,925 --> 00:43:49,194
- People think pretty
girls can't be smart,
994
00:43:49,227 --> 00:43:52,363
but it's like don't
pigeon hold me.
995
00:43:52,397 --> 00:43:54,733
- Uh don't you mean pigeon hole?
996
00:43:54,766 --> 00:43:57,268
- Ew what's a pigeon hole?
997
00:43:57,302 --> 00:43:58,469
- What's a pigeon hold?
998
00:43:58,503 --> 00:44:02,741
- It's like if you hold onto
a pigeon, it can't fly away.
999
00:44:02,774 --> 00:44:05,176
- Yeah.
- It's like let me fly.
1000
00:44:06,077 --> 00:44:08,413
- Where the hell is everyone?
1001
00:44:09,314 --> 00:44:10,749
("Drop It Low" by DJ Dolls)
1002
00:44:10,782 --> 00:44:12,818
(cheering)
1003
00:44:54,826 --> 00:44:57,162
(cheering)
1004
00:44:57,195 --> 00:44:59,898
- Hey Mackenzie, look at that.
1005
00:45:00,999 --> 00:45:02,200
You like that?
1006
00:45:02,233 --> 00:45:04,402
- I think everyone's
at the lame party.
1007
00:45:04,435 --> 00:45:05,236
- Really?
1008
00:45:05,270 --> 00:45:06,704
That's awesome.
1009
00:45:08,774 --> 00:45:11,376
- What the hell is
your problem, hmm?
1010
00:45:11,409 --> 00:45:12,510
- You know what my problem is?
1011
00:45:12,543 --> 00:45:14,112
You're uh you're super evil.
1012
00:45:14,145 --> 00:45:16,882
You're like African
rebel group dictator evil
1013
00:45:16,915 --> 00:45:17,816
and I can't do it anymore.
1014
00:45:17,849 --> 00:45:19,818
So I think I'm gonna
check out the lame party
1015
00:45:19,851 --> 00:45:23,388
where I hear the hosts
aren't total ass hats.
1016
00:45:25,423 --> 00:45:28,093
- [Whitney] You'll fit right in.
1017
00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:30,962
- I think I'm gonna
go to that party too.
1018
00:45:30,996 --> 00:45:33,264
It sounds like
there's girls there.
1019
00:45:33,298 --> 00:45:34,966
- [Colin] Dude.
1020
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,368
- I think someone should
probably scope it out too.
1021
00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:41,072
You know, like do some
double agent shenans.
1022
00:45:42,841 --> 00:45:43,842
- Mackenzie!
1023
00:45:52,517 --> 00:45:54,119
- Hey, so what's in this anyway?
1024
00:45:54,152 --> 00:45:56,454
- My own personal secret blend
1025
00:45:56,487 --> 00:45:59,925
of choice chemicals
and a dash of genius.
1026
00:46:01,893 --> 00:46:04,362
I call it Lipschitz and giggles.
1027
00:46:05,997 --> 00:46:07,899
- You're right, I do have
the vague urge to laugh.
1028
00:46:07,933 --> 00:46:10,435
- Whoa, looks like I
picked the right party.
1029
00:46:10,468 --> 00:46:11,970
- Oh Dan, right?
1030
00:46:12,003 --> 00:46:14,305
- Dave.
- Dave, Dave like..
1031
00:46:14,339 --> 00:46:15,841
- Like Dave.
- Like Dave.
1032
00:46:15,874 --> 00:46:17,108
(laughs)
1033
00:46:17,142 --> 00:46:18,509
- So do you know anyone
who can get me into
1034
00:46:18,543 --> 00:46:20,278
the Whitney protection program?
1035
00:46:20,311 --> 00:46:21,312
- Oh my god.
1036
00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:24,315
Tell me everything.
1037
00:46:24,349 --> 00:46:25,516
- And for you.
1038
00:46:30,455 --> 00:46:32,290
Who wants Lipshots?
1039
00:46:32,323 --> 00:46:35,093
(upbeat music)
1040
00:46:38,329 --> 00:46:41,532
- So Principal Whitmore gave
you two months detention
1041
00:46:41,566 --> 00:46:44,302
for protesting the
summer reading list?
1042
00:46:44,335 --> 00:46:45,536
I always heard it was because
1043
00:46:45,570 --> 00:46:47,405
you threw a flash
bomb into glee club.
1044
00:46:47,438 --> 00:46:50,208
- That was just a
rumor I started.
1045
00:46:50,241 --> 00:46:53,044
- Well we should
organize a protest.
1046
00:46:53,078 --> 00:46:55,947
- What do you know about
protesting, Pollyanna?
1047
00:46:55,981 --> 00:46:58,049
- I know you think
Girl Scouts are silly,
1048
00:46:58,083 --> 00:46:59,985
but the whole point
is to empower girls
1049
00:47:00,018 --> 00:47:01,519
so we can change the world.
1050
00:47:01,552 --> 00:47:04,322
You know, Gloria
Steinem, Hilary Clinton,
1051
00:47:04,355 --> 00:47:07,192
and Sandra Day O'Connor
were all Girl Scouts.
1052
00:47:07,225 --> 00:47:10,528
- Hmm maybe you're
not as "puppies
1053
00:47:10,561 --> 00:47:12,964
and unicorns" as you seem.
1054
00:47:13,564 --> 00:47:16,034
- I thought I would be
just better at jousting,
1055
00:47:16,067 --> 00:47:17,602
I don't know, like
'cause of a reach thing
1056
00:47:17,635 --> 00:47:18,569
'cause I have long arms.
1057
00:47:18,603 --> 00:47:20,038
- 'Cause you got those
long, spindly ones.
1058
00:47:20,071 --> 00:47:22,040
- Thank you, spindly ones, sure.
1059
00:47:22,073 --> 00:47:24,375
Oh whoa, there's a piano here.
1060
00:47:24,409 --> 00:47:25,476
You know what that means.
1061
00:47:25,510 --> 00:47:27,278
Will you write any new songs?
1062
00:47:27,312 --> 00:47:29,080
- You know what, I actually
just wrote one in my head
1063
00:47:29,114 --> 00:47:32,050
called Our Party is Way
Better Than Your Party.
1064
00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:33,084
It's weird.
1065
00:47:33,118 --> 00:47:34,585
- Thank you, it's nice.
1066
00:47:34,619 --> 00:47:35,453
Sweet.
1067
00:47:37,022 --> 00:47:38,089
- Actually...
1068
00:47:39,457 --> 00:47:41,059
I am working on one now.
1069
00:47:41,092 --> 00:47:42,127
But um...
1070
00:47:43,561 --> 00:47:44,930
It's stupid.
1071
00:47:44,963 --> 00:47:46,131
- Oh I will be
the judge of that.
1072
00:47:46,164 --> 00:47:47,232
Sit down.
1073
00:47:47,265 --> 00:47:49,334
(groans)
1074
00:47:50,335 --> 00:47:52,003
- Do I have to?
1075
00:47:52,037 --> 00:47:54,305
- Yeah, yeah you're gonna
have to play a song for me.
1076
00:47:54,339 --> 00:47:55,573
Sorry.
1077
00:47:55,606 --> 00:47:59,177
- I can't believe you're
making me do this.
1078
00:48:01,579 --> 00:48:02,413
All right.
1079
00:48:09,287 --> 00:48:12,623
* On the outskirts going nowhere
1080
00:48:12,657 --> 00:48:16,227
* But I've heard that
the truth is out there
1081
00:48:16,261 --> 00:48:20,065
* I just hope one day I can show
1082
00:48:20,098 --> 00:48:24,069
* There is more here
than what they know *
1083
00:48:26,671 --> 00:48:27,572
And that's all I have.
1084
00:48:27,605 --> 00:48:28,974
- That was all you?
1085
00:48:29,007 --> 00:48:29,941
That was great,
are you kidding me?
1086
00:48:29,975 --> 00:48:31,109
That was awesome.
1087
00:48:31,142 --> 00:48:33,078
That was really good.
1088
00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:33,979
- Thanks.
1089
00:48:34,012 --> 00:48:35,180
- I was just thinking
for the chorus.
1090
00:48:35,213 --> 00:48:36,081
What if it went.
1091
00:48:36,114 --> 00:48:40,185
(hums "Twinkle,
Twinkle, Little Star")
1092
00:48:40,218 --> 00:48:42,453
- Wow, I didn't know you played.
1093
00:48:42,487 --> 00:48:45,056
- I don't like to let people
behind the candelabra.
1094
00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:46,024
It's my secret place.
1095
00:48:46,057 --> 00:48:48,259
(laughs)
1096
00:48:48,293 --> 00:48:52,297
So when do I get to hear
the rest of your songs?
1097
00:48:54,165 --> 00:48:55,200
- Maybe...
1098
00:48:58,136 --> 00:48:58,970
Some time.
1099
00:49:00,071 --> 00:49:03,341
- Later, maybe
later, maybe later.
1100
00:49:03,374 --> 00:49:04,575
- Hey, oh.
1101
00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:06,277
Oh hey guys.
1102
00:49:06,311 --> 00:49:09,214
Um I just wanted to let you
know that they're reenacting
1103
00:49:09,247 --> 00:49:12,450
the Battle of Trafalgar
out on the beach.
1104
00:49:13,418 --> 00:49:14,652
So...
1105
00:49:14,685 --> 00:49:17,055
(squeals)
1106
00:49:18,689 --> 00:49:20,191
- Awesome, let's do that.
1107
00:49:20,225 --> 00:49:22,360
That's way better than...
1108
00:49:22,393 --> 00:49:24,095
Naval battle, huh?
1109
00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:26,497
Hmm?
1110
00:49:26,531 --> 00:49:28,533
- I think I speak for
everyone when I say
1111
00:49:28,566 --> 00:49:31,102
that Saturday's shindig
was one of the best,
1112
00:49:31,136 --> 00:49:34,005
nay, the best party of all time.
1113
00:49:34,739 --> 00:49:37,042
- Here here.
(applause)
1114
00:49:37,075 --> 00:49:38,643
- Now, does anyone have anything
1115
00:49:38,676 --> 00:49:40,245
to bring to the
council's attention?
1116
00:49:40,278 --> 00:49:42,613
Upcoming events, seminar ideas?
1117
00:49:42,647 --> 00:49:44,249
Yes.
1118
00:49:44,282 --> 00:49:45,683
- Sugar and I did some
research and it turns out--
1119
00:49:45,716 --> 00:49:48,386
- What about sabotaging
the lacrosse team.
1120
00:49:48,419 --> 00:49:51,056
We've finally established
strategic dominance.
1121
00:49:51,089 --> 00:49:53,458
Now is the time to
exploit our advantage
1122
00:49:53,491 --> 00:49:55,493
and those guys had it coming.
1123
00:49:55,526 --> 00:49:58,196
- A few tablets of Ex-Lax
in the team's water coolers
1124
00:49:58,229 --> 00:50:02,100
and their bowels will
explode like krypton.
1125
00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:04,135
- Do you think Steve Jobs
became the greatest visionary
1126
00:50:04,169 --> 00:50:07,272
of all time by being satisfied
with creating the iMac?
1127
00:50:07,305 --> 00:50:09,807
He changed it up and
created the iPod,
1128
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:12,277
then the iPhone, then
the iPod touch, then--
1129
00:50:12,310 --> 00:50:14,279
- I got it, I got it.
1130
00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:19,184
I guess a little explosive
diarrhea never hurt anyone.
1131
00:50:19,217 --> 00:50:21,152
- Yes!
(claps)
1132
00:50:21,186 --> 00:50:24,422
- Meet the new boss,
same as the old boss.
1133
00:50:24,455 --> 00:50:26,657
- Hey, want to play
Settlers of Catan?
1134
00:50:26,691 --> 00:50:27,792
- Oh I can't.
1135
00:50:27,825 --> 00:50:30,461
My dad's new lady friend
is coming over with her kid
1136
00:50:30,495 --> 00:50:31,662
so we can all meet each other
1137
00:50:31,696 --> 00:50:33,264
even though it's only
their second date.
1138
00:50:33,298 --> 00:50:34,765
- Well that sounds fun.
1139
00:50:34,799 --> 00:50:36,467
- All right, you guys gotta go.
1140
00:50:36,501 --> 00:50:39,737
You know how my parents feel
about organized labor, so.
1141
00:50:39,770 --> 00:50:40,605
- Right.
1142
00:50:42,273 --> 00:50:43,108
- Oh god.
1143
00:50:43,741 --> 00:50:45,610
(groans)
1144
00:50:45,643 --> 00:50:46,444
What do I do?
1145
00:50:46,477 --> 00:50:47,545
Is it too neat?
1146
00:50:47,578 --> 00:50:48,413
Is my hair too neat?
1147
00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:49,647
Should I mess it up?
1148
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,316
I mean, don't the
ladies like it messy?
1149
00:50:51,349 --> 00:50:52,283
- Oh, Herb.
1150
00:50:54,319 --> 00:50:55,153
Sweet, sweet Herb.
1151
00:50:55,186 --> 00:50:57,322
Listen, you haven't
dated in awhile
1152
00:50:57,355 --> 00:50:58,689
so I feel the need
to tell you that
1153
00:50:58,723 --> 00:51:00,825
at your age, women
aren't super concerned
1154
00:51:00,858 --> 00:51:02,026
with the way you style your hair
1155
00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:06,297
as much as they are impressed
that you still have hair.
1156
00:51:07,365 --> 00:51:09,134
(doorbell rings)
1157
00:51:09,167 --> 00:51:09,800
- Oh no.
1158
00:51:11,769 --> 00:51:13,304
- Relax.
1159
00:51:13,338 --> 00:51:14,405
Awkward doesn't suit you.
1160
00:51:14,439 --> 00:51:15,873
- Yes.
1161
00:51:15,906 --> 00:51:17,608
No awkward.
1162
00:51:17,642 --> 00:51:18,476
Okay.
1163
00:51:23,281 --> 00:51:24,615
Hi.
- [Carol] Hi.
1164
00:51:28,219 --> 00:51:30,721
- You must be David,
of course you are.
1165
00:51:30,755 --> 00:51:32,390
Who else would you
be? (laughs awkwardly)
1166
00:51:32,423 --> 00:51:35,560
You wouldn't bring a
date to dinner, right?
1167
00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:36,794
I'm Herb.
1168
00:51:36,827 --> 00:51:39,764
Uh uh David, this
is my daughter Jodi.
1169
00:51:39,797 --> 00:51:40,898
Jodi, David.
1170
00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:43,234
Jodi, Carol, Carol, Jodi.
1171
00:51:43,268 --> 00:51:44,402
David, Carol, Herb, Jodi.
1172
00:51:44,435 --> 00:51:45,570
Everybody knows each other.
1173
00:51:45,603 --> 00:51:46,771
Introductions out of the way.
1174
00:51:46,804 --> 00:51:48,539
Come into the house please.
1175
00:51:48,573 --> 00:51:49,674
This is the way in.
1176
00:51:49,707 --> 00:51:52,277
(gentle music)
1177
00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:10,328
(phone ringing)
1178
00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:15,600
* Boom shaka laka laka
1179
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:16,834
* Boom shaka laka laka boom
1180
00:52:16,867 --> 00:52:21,239
* Shaka laka laka boom
1181
00:52:22,207 --> 00:52:23,574
- Jodi, it's Mindy.
1182
00:52:25,276 --> 00:52:25,910
Call me.
1183
00:52:31,749 --> 00:52:33,418
- I suggested hey,
1184
00:52:33,451 --> 00:52:35,920
why not take the shorts
up an inch above the knee.
1185
00:52:35,953 --> 00:52:39,890
They said no, but with
respect they said no.
1186
00:52:39,924 --> 00:52:40,958
Um I also have made--
1187
00:52:40,991 --> 00:52:42,327
- Hey, guys.
1188
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:43,361
Just give me these,
give me these.
1189
00:52:43,394 --> 00:52:44,762
You guys are done, right?
1190
00:52:44,795 --> 00:52:46,331
- Not quite, but.
- Mom's done, Mom's done.
1191
00:52:46,364 --> 00:52:47,298
- Sure, thank you.
1192
00:52:47,332 --> 00:52:50,635
That's good. (laughs)
1193
00:52:50,668 --> 00:52:52,303
- Hey, hey.
1194
00:52:52,337 --> 00:52:53,638
What if they get married?
1195
00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:56,641
- Then we almost
committed stepcest.
1196
00:52:56,674 --> 00:52:58,643
Hey, you were the one
who went in for the kiss.
1197
00:52:58,676 --> 00:53:00,245
- No, no way.
1198
00:53:00,278 --> 00:53:01,846
You were practically
undressing me with your eyes.
1199
00:53:01,879 --> 00:53:03,281
- Undressing you?
1200
00:53:03,314 --> 00:53:04,482
Are you 40?
1201
00:53:04,515 --> 00:53:08,353
Mister oh I don't let many
people behind the candelabra.
1202
00:53:08,386 --> 00:53:10,621
- Fine, we'll just chalk it
up to equal parts creepy.
1203
00:53:10,655 --> 00:53:13,291
I don't know where this goes.
1204
00:53:14,459 --> 00:53:15,293
- So...
1205
00:53:17,428 --> 00:53:18,563
Friends it is?
1206
00:53:18,596 --> 00:53:19,797
- Yeah, in the
interest of not having
1207
00:53:19,830 --> 00:53:23,468
our family tree go
in a circle friends.
1208
00:53:23,501 --> 00:53:25,603
I'm sorry, I realize referencing
having children with you
1209
00:53:25,636 --> 00:53:26,837
makes it more creepy.
1210
00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:27,772
- Yeah, it did.
1211
00:53:27,805 --> 00:53:31,442
(Herb and Carol laughing)
1212
00:53:41,586 --> 00:53:43,454
- I got an operation
plan to Photoshop
1213
00:53:43,488 --> 00:53:45,590
the cheerleaders'
yearbook picture.
1214
00:53:45,623 --> 00:53:46,824
Can I get the green light?
1215
00:53:46,857 --> 00:53:49,494
- I don't care,
do what you want.
1216
00:53:51,362 --> 00:53:54,532
- I have been looking
for you all day.
1217
00:53:54,565 --> 00:53:55,866
Oh my god, last night was like
1218
00:53:55,900 --> 00:53:57,635
the seventh circle
of awkwardness.
1219
00:53:57,668 --> 00:53:58,636
- I called you.
1220
00:53:58,669 --> 00:53:59,737
- I know.
1221
00:53:59,770 --> 00:54:00,671
It was insane.
1222
00:54:00,705 --> 00:54:02,640
- I got waitlisted at MIT.
1223
00:54:02,673 --> 00:54:04,275
- Wait, wha, wha?
1224
00:54:05,510 --> 00:54:07,512
No, no, no, there's
gotta be a mistake.
1225
00:54:07,545 --> 00:54:08,579
Hey, I want names.
1226
00:54:08,613 --> 00:54:10,481
- It doesn't matter.
1227
00:54:10,515 --> 00:54:12,850
- Hey, guess who's
coming to dinner?
1228
00:54:12,883 --> 00:54:13,818
We're joking.
1229
00:54:13,851 --> 00:54:14,885
Hey, did you hear?
1230
00:54:14,919 --> 00:54:16,421
- Actually not.
1231
00:54:16,454 --> 00:54:17,822
- [Dave] Um--
- [Jodi] Not a good time.
1232
00:54:17,855 --> 00:54:20,458
- Her dad and my mom, they're
like totally dating now.
1233
00:54:20,491 --> 00:54:22,527
- That's crazy.
1234
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,429
- Oh hey, side point.
1235
00:54:24,462 --> 00:54:27,665
I found a perfect song
for your audition.
1236
00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:29,534
- Audition?
1237
00:54:31,802 --> 00:54:34,972
- Thanks Dave, I'll
take it from here.
1238
00:54:36,941 --> 00:54:39,744
- It's just for a
performing arts school.
1239
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:40,778
- In Boston?
1240
00:54:41,612 --> 00:54:42,780
- In New York.
1241
00:54:44,482 --> 00:54:46,384
I was gonna tell you.
1242
00:54:46,417 --> 00:54:47,585
It's no big deal.
1243
00:54:47,618 --> 00:54:50,455
- Of course it's a big deal.
1244
00:54:50,488 --> 00:54:52,523
I'm sure you'll get in
1245
00:54:52,557 --> 00:54:54,425
and it's a good
thing you've got Dave
1246
00:54:54,459 --> 00:54:56,761
to help you with your audition.
1247
00:54:56,794 --> 00:54:58,629
- Mindy, don't be mad.
1248
00:55:04,669 --> 00:55:06,036
I gotta go.
1249
00:55:06,070 --> 00:55:06,871
- Yep.
1250
00:55:08,506 --> 00:55:11,008
- Hey, we'll talk later, okay?
1251
00:55:13,511 --> 00:55:14,645
- [Dave] Sorry.
1252
00:55:14,679 --> 00:55:17,382
- [Jodi] It's fine,
let's just go.
1253
00:55:18,683 --> 00:55:19,917
- [Woman] Mindy Lipschitz,
1254
00:55:19,950 --> 00:55:22,353
please report to the
principal's office.
1255
00:55:22,387 --> 00:55:24,522
- This is an all new level.
1256
00:55:24,555 --> 00:55:27,758
Stealing chemicals and lab
equipment from the school?
1257
00:55:27,792 --> 00:55:30,728
- Come on, Les, Mindy is
one of my best students.
1258
00:55:30,761 --> 00:55:32,029
She would never do that.
1259
00:55:32,062 --> 00:55:33,398
- Really?
1260
00:55:33,431 --> 00:55:35,733
Why don't you have a look-see.
1261
00:55:43,741 --> 00:55:46,477
- Okay, well that one
is clearly Photoshopped.
1262
00:55:46,511 --> 00:55:49,380
- [Mr. Samuels] Mindy.
- Well guess what.
1263
00:55:49,414 --> 00:55:51,582
You're out of the
science club forever.
1264
00:55:51,616 --> 00:55:53,584
- This must be some mistake.
- Save it, sweater vest.
1265
00:55:53,618 --> 00:55:55,653
Luckily, we still have students
1266
00:55:55,686 --> 00:55:57,021
like Whitney Bennett
who had the courage
1267
00:55:57,054 --> 00:56:00,558
to bring this sick
delinquency to my attention.
1268
00:56:00,591 --> 00:56:01,926
Get out of my office.
1269
00:56:01,959 --> 00:56:04,829
(door slams)
- Mr. Samuels.
1270
00:56:04,862 --> 00:56:06,564
Why didn't you defend me?
1271
00:56:06,597 --> 00:56:08,132
- What do you want
me to do, Mindy?
1272
00:56:08,165 --> 00:56:11,135
- You went to MIT,
1273
00:56:11,168 --> 00:56:13,671
the greatest academic
institution
1274
00:56:13,704 --> 00:56:14,872
in the known universe
1275
00:56:14,905 --> 00:56:18,543
and you're still being bullied
by an overgrown frat boy.
1276
00:56:22,747 --> 00:56:25,550
- Oh my god, you
totally broke her.
1277
00:56:25,583 --> 00:56:29,454
- Law 42, strike the shepherd
and the sheep will scatter.
1278
00:56:29,487 --> 00:56:32,222
- [Mackenzie]
Straight back to you.
1279
00:56:36,093 --> 00:56:38,529
- Are you sure you want this?
1280
00:56:41,766 --> 00:56:42,767
- I want it.
1281
00:56:51,208 --> 00:56:52,376
- So phase change in pressure.
1282
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:55,546
Can anyone tell me what the
exception to the rule of...
1283
00:56:55,580 --> 00:56:57,648
(dramatic music)
1284
00:56:57,682 --> 00:56:59,617
- [Television Voice]
Brothers and sisters,
1285
00:56:59,650 --> 00:57:01,852
it is time to open your eyes.
1286
00:57:03,253 --> 00:57:06,691
Whitney Bennett, for four
years she has crafted
1287
00:57:06,724 --> 00:57:11,462
a meticulous image as the
rich girl who had it all.
1288
00:57:11,496 --> 00:57:13,498
Well brothers and sisters,
1289
00:57:13,531 --> 00:57:16,166
Whitney Bennett is
not who you thought.
1290
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:20,104
The mansion her family
supposedly lives in,
1291
00:57:20,137 --> 00:57:22,507
try the servants' quarters.
1292
00:57:22,540 --> 00:57:25,209
Her father, the
hedge fund manager,
1293
00:57:25,242 --> 00:57:28,713
these are the only
hedges he's ever managed.
1294
00:57:28,746 --> 00:57:31,215
The mother who works in fashion,
1295
00:57:31,248 --> 00:57:36,120
only if this constitutes
working in the fashion industry.
1296
00:57:36,153 --> 00:57:40,691
Her older brother getting a
master's in business at Wharton.
1297
00:57:40,725 --> 00:57:44,729
The only business he's
mastered is delivering pizzas.
1298
00:57:44,762 --> 00:57:47,164
The truth is revealed.
1299
00:57:47,197 --> 00:57:49,734
The only reason Whitney
was always so intent
1300
00:57:49,767 --> 00:57:51,936
on exposing all
of your weaknesses
1301
00:57:51,969 --> 00:57:54,739
was so that you would
never discover hers.
1302
00:57:54,772 --> 00:57:56,941
Whitney Bennett is a liar.
1303
00:58:22,933 --> 00:58:23,768
- Dude.
1304
00:58:24,669 --> 00:58:26,203
What was that?
1305
00:58:26,236 --> 00:58:28,539
- That was our
revenge over Whitney.
1306
00:58:28,573 --> 00:58:30,608
- You do realize that you
just did the same thing to her
1307
00:58:30,641 --> 00:58:31,709
that she did to me.
1308
00:58:31,742 --> 00:58:34,845
- Exactly, it's called revenge.
1309
00:58:34,879 --> 00:58:36,647
I don't get what
your problem is.
1310
00:58:36,681 --> 00:58:38,082
This is what you wanted.
1311
00:58:38,115 --> 00:58:41,318
We set out to change
things and we did it.
1312
00:58:41,351 --> 00:58:42,252
We won.
1313
00:58:42,286 --> 00:58:43,988
- It doesn't feel like we won.
1314
00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:45,222
It feels like we're
becoming the things
1315
00:58:45,255 --> 00:58:47,024
that we used to hate.
1316
00:58:47,057 --> 00:58:49,627
- My whole life I
played by the rules.
1317
00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:50,728
I did all my homework,
1318
00:58:50,761 --> 00:58:53,631
I colored in the bubbles
with my number two pencils
1319
00:58:53,664 --> 00:58:55,065
and what did it get me?
1320
00:58:55,099 --> 00:58:57,267
Teased, tortured, ignored,
1321
00:58:59,604 --> 00:59:00,537
waitlisted.
1322
00:59:02,206 --> 00:59:05,175
Do you know what turning
the other cheek gets you?
1323
00:59:05,209 --> 00:59:06,611
Two black eyes.
1324
00:59:07,678 --> 00:59:09,113
- The old Mindy--
1325
00:59:09,146 --> 00:59:11,949
- Was a pushover who thought
she was gonna go to MIT,
1326
00:59:11,982 --> 00:59:14,018
engineer the perfect
hydrogen fuel cell
1327
00:59:14,051 --> 00:59:15,720
and get an element
named after her.
1328
00:59:15,753 --> 00:59:18,288
- Lipschitzium can still happen.
1329
00:59:18,322 --> 00:59:20,090
- If you have a problem
with what you're doing,
1330
00:59:20,124 --> 00:59:22,893
you should do
something about it.
1331
00:59:25,730 --> 00:59:27,698
- If this is what it is...
1332
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:30,868
Then I'm out.
1333
00:59:32,269 --> 00:59:34,872
("Let's Roll")
1334
00:59:39,877 --> 00:59:41,946
- [Jodi] So we had
succeeded in creating
1335
00:59:41,979 --> 00:59:45,616
a new world order at
Richard Milhous Nixon High.
1336
00:59:45,650 --> 00:59:47,818
Turns out power is a potent drug
1337
00:59:47,852 --> 00:59:49,720
and with Whitney
publicly humiliated
1338
00:59:49,754 --> 00:59:51,656
and officially dethroned,
1339
00:59:51,689 --> 00:59:54,859
the underlings of our school
had now become its overlords.
1340
00:59:54,892 --> 00:59:56,126
- Dude, that was amazing.
1341
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:58,696
- [Louis] I'm registered
as a lethal weapon.
1342
00:59:58,729 --> 01:00:00,164
- Well this sucks.
1343
01:00:00,197 --> 01:00:03,200
- I told you we should have
just burned this mother down.
1344
01:00:03,233 --> 01:00:04,835
- Here here.
1345
01:00:04,869 --> 01:00:06,070
- Has anyone seen Whitney?
1346
01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:07,337
- Oh she's gone AWOL.
1347
01:00:07,371 --> 01:00:08,806
I never thought I'd
feel bad for someone
1348
01:00:08,839 --> 01:00:10,741
who affectionately
references Stalin.
1349
01:00:10,775 --> 01:00:13,377
- Now we should shove
his head into a toilet.
1350
01:00:13,410 --> 01:00:15,713
You know what I'm saying?
1351
01:00:25,756 --> 01:00:29,093
(garage door squeaking)
1352
01:00:46,176 --> 01:00:50,214
- Look, I never meant for
things to go down like that.
1353
01:00:50,247 --> 01:00:52,382
- Oh come on, don't tell
me you're not having
1354
01:00:52,416 --> 01:00:54,384
a dorkgasm over this.
1355
01:00:54,418 --> 01:00:56,320
- Google alert, you did
the same thing to me
1356
01:00:56,353 --> 01:00:57,454
and did I go into hiding?
1357
01:00:57,487 --> 01:01:02,159
- But your threshold for
humiliation was already so high.
1358
01:01:02,192 --> 01:01:04,294
No wait, I, I'm, s-s-s...
1359
01:01:06,864 --> 01:01:08,032
- Were you trying to apologize?
1360
01:01:08,065 --> 01:01:09,433
- It just gets
stuck in my throat.
1361
01:01:09,466 --> 01:01:11,902
But I know you're right, okay.
1362
01:01:11,936 --> 01:01:13,037
You're right.
1363
01:01:14,939 --> 01:01:15,773
- Okay.
1364
01:01:18,776 --> 01:01:19,409
- Thanks.
1365
01:01:35,860 --> 01:01:37,728
- I'm going to cut
right to the chase.
1366
01:01:37,762 --> 01:01:39,764
I intend to rule this
school next year.
1367
01:01:39,797 --> 01:01:41,065
But the only way
you become the best
1368
01:01:41,098 --> 01:01:42,800
is by working for the best.
1369
01:01:42,833 --> 01:01:46,871
I thought that was Whitney,
but apparently I was wrong.
1370
01:01:46,904 --> 01:01:48,906
I won't pretend to like
your fashion choices.
1371
01:01:48,939 --> 01:01:50,140
But you've got a lot to teach me
1372
01:01:50,174 --> 01:01:51,475
and I'd like to
offer my services
1373
01:01:51,508 --> 01:01:54,879
as your intern for the
rest of the school year.
1374
01:01:54,912 --> 01:01:57,848
(locker door slams)
1375
01:01:57,882 --> 01:02:00,851
- Prom is almost here and
we still don't have a theme.
1376
01:02:00,885 --> 01:02:03,453
So I'd like you to rally
your various factions
1377
01:02:03,487 --> 01:02:06,323
to back my proposal
for Ender's prom.
1378
01:02:06,356 --> 01:02:08,492
- Support my bid for prom king,
1379
01:02:08,525 --> 01:02:10,494
I vote for whatever
theme you want.
1380
01:02:10,527 --> 01:02:14,131
- Wait, I'm running
for prom king.
1381
01:02:14,164 --> 01:02:16,500
I'm the only one who knows how
to wield a sword effectively.
1382
01:02:16,533 --> 01:02:18,168
- Whoa whoa whoa.
1383
01:02:18,202 --> 01:02:20,337
I thought we were letting Colin
win so we could prank him.
1384
01:02:20,370 --> 01:02:21,338
- No, we never went over that.
1385
01:02:21,371 --> 01:02:22,506
I'm going to be king.
1386
01:02:22,539 --> 01:02:24,341
- Um no, you're not gonna
be king, I'm gonna be king.
1387
01:02:24,374 --> 01:02:26,176
- Mindy, I am willing
to make you queen
1388
01:02:26,210 --> 01:02:28,178
with a five-year
no-beheading clause.
1389
01:02:28,212 --> 01:02:29,413
- [Howard] A no
beheading clause?
1390
01:02:29,446 --> 01:02:30,547
- [Mindy] As I sat
there listening,
1391
01:02:30,580 --> 01:02:33,117
I realized how
ridiculous it all was.
1392
01:02:33,150 --> 01:02:35,853
We had pretended we cared
about coming together,
1393
01:02:35,886 --> 01:02:38,355
but in the end people only
cared about themselves.
1394
01:02:38,388 --> 01:02:40,357
Even best friends.
1395
01:02:40,390 --> 01:02:42,459
So it had all been a lie,
1396
01:02:42,492 --> 01:02:44,494
which was fitting since
when you think about it
1397
01:02:44,528 --> 01:02:46,096
most of high school is a lie.
1398
01:02:46,130 --> 01:02:49,033
Everyone faking it,
trying to act cooler
1399
01:02:49,066 --> 01:02:52,903
or smarter or older or just
more sure of themselves
1400
01:02:52,937 --> 01:02:55,339
than they really are and
I couldn't help but think
1401
01:02:55,372 --> 01:02:59,576
wouldn't it be nice for once
if people just told the truth.
1402
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:02,012
- So you're going to drug prom?
1403
01:03:02,046 --> 01:03:04,148
- That makes it
sound so serious.
1404
01:03:04,181 --> 01:03:06,917
Lipschitzium is a very
mild form of truth serum
1405
01:03:06,951 --> 01:03:08,118
in gaseous form.
1406
01:03:08,152 --> 01:03:09,386
Think of it like a
very smart person's
1407
01:03:09,419 --> 01:03:11,188
version of spiking
the punch, okay?
1408
01:03:11,221 --> 01:03:13,190
- Oh I'm fine with
you drugging prom.
1409
01:03:13,223 --> 01:03:16,526
So what changed your mind
about working with me?
1410
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:18,829
- You may be a
duplicitous opportunist,
1411
01:03:18,863 --> 01:03:21,598
but at least you're honest
about what you want.
1412
01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:22,432
- Hmm.
1413
01:03:36,881 --> 01:03:38,949
- Thank god you're back.
1414
01:03:38,983 --> 01:03:39,884
Do you know what it was like
1415
01:03:39,917 --> 01:03:42,953
being the only hot
person in this school?
1416
01:03:42,987 --> 01:03:44,554
The army of dorkness
is multiplying
1417
01:03:44,588 --> 01:03:47,925
faster than the Kardashians.
1418
01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:48,558
(locker door slams)
1419
01:03:48,592 --> 01:03:49,626
- Oh! (gasps)
1420
01:03:49,659 --> 01:03:52,462
Sorry, (laughs) habit.
1421
01:03:52,496 --> 01:03:54,131
- So are you going to prom?
1422
01:03:54,164 --> 01:03:55,332
- Hell no.
1423
01:03:55,365 --> 01:03:58,903
- Hey Whitney, can
your dad mow my lawn?
1424
01:04:01,338 --> 01:04:03,140
- [Computerized Voice] You
have a message from Mom.
1425
01:04:03,173 --> 01:04:05,275
Make sure you drive
safely to school, honey.
1426
01:04:05,309 --> 01:04:06,110
You'll know.
1427
01:04:06,143 --> 01:04:07,044
Love, Mommy.
1428
01:04:07,077 --> 01:04:09,446
- I'm sorry you had to see that.
1429
01:04:09,479 --> 01:04:11,481
You don't need a
date to go to prom.
1430
01:04:11,515 --> 01:04:13,517
- The date, the
dress, the revelry.
1431
01:04:13,550 --> 01:04:16,220
I don't even know where
to begin with my hatred.
1432
01:04:16,253 --> 01:04:17,988
And anyways, Mindy and
I had always planned
1433
01:04:18,022 --> 01:04:20,457
on doing a Star Wars
marathon on prom night.
1434
01:04:20,490 --> 01:04:23,060
13.24 hours prequels and all.
1435
01:04:23,093 --> 01:04:25,095
- I get it, it's just...
1436
01:04:26,163 --> 01:04:27,064
- What?
1437
01:04:27,097 --> 01:04:28,432
- I had a chat with Mackenzie.
1438
01:04:28,465 --> 01:04:30,400
She's apparently
Mindy's intern now
1439
01:04:30,434 --> 01:04:32,136
and she wouldn't
tell me anything,
1440
01:04:32,169 --> 01:04:33,270
but it sounds like
Mindy's planning
1441
01:04:33,303 --> 01:04:35,339
some sort of crazy
prank at prom.
1442
01:04:35,372 --> 01:04:39,009
Guess she's not done
getting her revenge.
1443
01:04:39,043 --> 01:04:41,511
(dooming music)
1444
01:04:44,481 --> 01:04:48,652
- Why are they fighting on a
hovercraft above molten lava?
1445
01:04:50,154 --> 01:04:51,956
- Well Herb, I'll tell you.
1446
01:04:51,989 --> 01:04:54,058
Obi-Wan here is just
trying to be a good friend
1447
01:04:54,091 --> 01:04:56,026
and to keep Anakin from
acting like a total jackhole,
1448
01:04:56,060 --> 01:04:59,063
but Anakin is more interested
in making a stupid power play
1449
01:04:59,096 --> 01:05:02,266
than in hanging out
with his best friend.
1450
01:05:02,299 --> 01:05:04,068
- Hmm I don't know.
1451
01:05:05,069 --> 01:05:08,272
It seems to me Obi-Wan
is being pretty brave,
1452
01:05:08,305 --> 01:05:11,375
standing up for the
fate of the universe
1453
01:05:11,408 --> 01:05:14,078
and trying to help
out his friend
1454
01:05:14,111 --> 01:05:18,048
who seems to be going
through maybe a rough time.
1455
01:05:18,082 --> 01:05:20,317
- Even if Obi-Wan ends
up having to chop off
1456
01:05:20,350 --> 01:05:22,686
his best friend's legs and
his best friend ends up
1457
01:05:22,719 --> 01:05:25,022
turning into some
mouth-breathing, goth cyborg
1458
01:05:25,055 --> 01:05:27,191
who eventually kills him?
1459
01:05:27,224 --> 01:05:28,525
- Yeah, even then.
1460
01:05:31,028 --> 01:05:31,661
Jodi.
1461
01:05:33,030 --> 01:05:35,966
There's one thing
that I do know.
1462
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,168
Nothing great ever happens
1463
01:05:39,236 --> 01:05:42,339
when you're sitting
on the sidelines.
1464
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:44,074
- Shit.
1465
01:05:45,109 --> 01:05:46,710
I gotta go to prom.
1466
01:05:48,678 --> 01:05:50,680
(sighs)
1467
01:05:55,119 --> 01:05:56,120
Thanks, Dad.
1468
01:05:57,687 --> 01:05:59,990
- Jodi, I am your father.
1469
01:06:02,126 --> 01:06:04,194
Your founding father.
1470
01:06:04,228 --> 01:06:06,363
- I really hope
this isn't genetic.
1471
01:06:06,396 --> 01:06:09,199
(energetic music)
1472
01:06:14,338 --> 01:06:18,508
Dad, are there any old clothes
in Mom's closet I can wear?
1473
01:06:25,482 --> 01:06:27,017
- Wow.
1474
01:06:27,051 --> 01:06:28,218
What a vision.
1475
01:06:30,387 --> 01:06:32,389
Just got off the
phone with Carol.
1476
01:06:32,422 --> 01:06:34,124
Dave doesn't have a date either.
1477
01:06:34,158 --> 01:06:37,094
So she's gonna bring him over
here so you guys can carpool.
1478
01:06:37,127 --> 01:06:37,727
- Dad!
1479
01:06:37,761 --> 01:06:39,229
- It's fine.
1480
01:06:39,263 --> 01:06:41,198
You're just carpooling.
1481
01:06:41,231 --> 01:06:43,333
It's not gonna be
awkward at all.
1482
01:06:43,367 --> 01:06:46,436
(upbeat party music)
1483
01:06:57,414 --> 01:06:59,183
- You guys, come on,
squeeze in over here.
1484
01:06:59,216 --> 01:07:00,384
Grab her waist.
1485
01:07:00,417 --> 01:07:02,386
She's not your sister.
1486
01:07:02,419 --> 01:07:04,521
And...
(camera clicks)
1487
01:07:04,554 --> 01:07:05,622
Perfect.
1488
01:07:05,655 --> 01:07:06,356
All right, see ya.
1489
01:07:06,390 --> 01:07:07,624
(phone chimes)
1490
01:07:07,657 --> 01:07:10,427
All right, so I'm just gonna go.
1491
01:07:10,460 --> 01:07:13,330
(camera clicks)
1492
01:07:14,831 --> 01:07:18,302
(metal bangs)
- Shh!
1493
01:07:18,335 --> 01:07:21,105
Okay the coast is
clear, let's go.
1494
01:07:21,138 --> 01:07:23,840
- We are so Breaking
Bad right now.
1495
01:07:23,873 --> 01:07:28,245
(phone chimes)
- [Boy] Hey Colin.
1496
01:07:31,581 --> 01:07:34,184
(phone chimes)
1497
01:07:37,221 --> 01:07:38,855
- Who came up with
this theme anyway?
1498
01:07:38,888 --> 01:07:40,557
- The patriarchy.
1499
01:07:40,590 --> 01:07:41,758
- You back in?
1500
01:07:44,494 --> 01:07:46,130
Wanna bust a move?
1501
01:07:46,163 --> 01:07:47,797
- Fine, whatever.
1502
01:07:47,831 --> 01:07:51,368
- [Martin] You gotta
get up to get down.
1503
01:07:53,670 --> 01:07:55,672
(sighs)
1504
01:08:26,803 --> 01:08:29,373
(phone chimes)
1505
01:08:52,962 --> 01:08:55,899
- I think I might
actually be a PC.
1506
01:09:05,675 --> 01:09:07,844
- Maybe my therapist is right.
1507
01:09:07,877 --> 01:09:09,713
I am dating my father.
1508
01:09:11,348 --> 01:09:13,250
- Is there any way to deny
that all human suffering
1509
01:09:13,283 --> 01:09:15,385
originates from human desire?
1510
01:09:15,419 --> 01:09:18,255
Unless the only way to end
suffering is to end desire.
1511
01:09:18,288 --> 01:09:20,624
But the illogical and
futile nature of desire
1512
01:09:20,657 --> 01:09:23,827
will inevitably win out
over our rational nature.
1513
01:09:23,860 --> 01:09:25,329
- This punch...
1514
01:09:26,296 --> 01:09:27,331
Is good.
1515
01:09:39,343 --> 01:09:42,346
- I know that
everybody loves Harry,
1516
01:09:42,379 --> 01:09:45,915
but I can certainly appreciate
Zayn's brooding charm,
1517
01:09:45,949 --> 01:09:50,320
but for my money, Liam is the
unsung hero of One Direction.
1518
01:09:53,457 --> 01:09:55,592
- I find everything
about you repulsive,
1519
01:09:55,625 --> 01:09:58,395
yet I'm strangely drawn to you.
1520
01:09:59,629 --> 01:10:03,267
- That is the nicest thing
a girl has ever said to me.
1521
01:10:03,300 --> 01:10:04,601
- I love you, man.
1522
01:10:05,502 --> 01:10:06,436
- Yes homo.
1523
01:10:14,511 --> 01:10:16,413
- I find myself incredibly
attracted to you
1524
01:10:16,446 --> 01:10:18,282
despite that pantsuit.
1525
01:10:27,757 --> 01:10:29,626
(squeals)
1526
01:10:29,659 --> 01:10:30,494
This is awesome.
1527
01:10:30,527 --> 01:10:32,362
Thank you, Adam Scott.
1528
01:10:33,763 --> 01:10:34,598
Hey um...
1529
01:10:36,666 --> 01:10:38,368
I really like you.
1530
01:10:39,503 --> 01:10:40,437
- I really like.
(phone chimes)
1531
01:10:40,470 --> 01:10:42,539
(groans)
1532
01:10:44,541 --> 01:10:45,375
Damn it.
1533
01:10:46,410 --> 01:10:47,377
Um I gotta go.
1534
01:10:48,645 --> 01:10:50,980
I'll find you later.
1535
01:10:51,014 --> 01:10:53,383
(moaning)
1536
01:10:54,418 --> 01:10:55,452
- Promise?
1537
01:10:59,523 --> 01:11:00,857
- Hey.
1538
01:11:00,890 --> 01:11:02,392
- Where have you been?
1539
01:11:02,426 --> 01:11:04,328
- Sorry I was, I was just
in the janitor's closet
1540
01:11:04,361 --> 01:11:06,863
making out with my
future stepbrother.
1541
01:11:06,896 --> 01:11:08,498
- Okay, we have to find Mindy.
1542
01:11:08,532 --> 01:11:10,400
- And before her plan
goes into effect.
1543
01:11:10,434 --> 01:11:11,301
God knows what she could do.
1544
01:11:11,335 --> 01:11:13,637
She is a really good
chemist, you know?
1545
01:11:13,670 --> 01:11:14,671
Really good.
1546
01:11:18,475 --> 01:11:20,510
Oh my god, what is all this?
1547
01:11:20,544 --> 01:11:22,546
- Is she trying to
poison the school?
1548
01:11:22,579 --> 01:11:25,382
- I wouldn't put it
past her at this point.
1549
01:11:25,415 --> 01:11:26,816
What do you think this does?
1550
01:11:26,850 --> 01:11:27,651
- I don't, I don't--
1551
01:11:27,684 --> 01:11:29,453
- Expose the truth.
1552
01:11:30,987 --> 01:11:32,356
Nice.
1553
01:11:32,389 --> 01:11:34,358
Some best friend you are.
1554
01:11:34,391 --> 01:11:36,593
- I'm sorry, is the person
who's building a chemical weapon
1555
01:11:36,626 --> 01:11:38,795
questioning my integrity
in this scenario?
1556
01:11:38,828 --> 01:11:41,365
- I figured it was about
time somebody cut through
1557
01:11:41,398 --> 01:11:44,368
all the bullshit so we could
see who people really were.
1558
01:11:44,401 --> 01:11:45,902
- I told you you
couldn't trust her.
1559
01:11:45,935 --> 01:11:48,505
- And now all of a
sudden you're, you're,
1560
01:11:48,538 --> 01:11:49,406
you guys are BFFs?
1561
01:11:49,439 --> 01:11:51,541
- Yeah because between
you and Whitney,
1562
01:11:51,575 --> 01:11:54,544
Whitney is the one who is acting
less like an evil dictator.
1563
01:11:54,578 --> 01:11:56,713
- You are just jealous
because I am the one
1564
01:11:56,746 --> 01:11:58,482
who finally stood up to her,
1565
01:11:58,515 --> 01:12:00,750
which is something that you've
always been too scared to do.
1566
01:12:00,950 --> 01:12:02,552
- I'm turning you in.
1567
01:12:02,586 --> 01:12:05,522
- If you're not with
me, you are my enemy.
1568
01:12:05,555 --> 01:12:08,024
- Only a Sith
deals in absolutes.
1569
01:12:08,057 --> 01:12:09,593
I will do what I must.
1570
01:12:09,626 --> 01:12:11,495
- You will try.
1571
01:12:11,528 --> 01:12:13,730
(grunts)
1572
01:12:13,763 --> 01:12:15,432
No, no!
1573
01:12:15,465 --> 01:12:16,566
- Whitney, go get help.
1574
01:12:16,600 --> 01:12:18,602
- Eh no thanks. (giggles)
1575
01:12:18,635 --> 01:12:20,804
(yelling)
1576
01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:22,906
Law 21.
1577
01:12:22,939 --> 01:12:24,708
- Play a sucker
to catch a sucker.
1578
01:12:24,741 --> 01:12:25,942
- [Woman On Phone] Emergency.
1579
01:12:25,975 --> 01:12:28,645
- I need to report
a crime in progress.
1580
01:12:28,678 --> 01:12:32,115
("Happy Call" by Thrust)
1581
01:12:37,954 --> 01:12:39,589
- Okay everybody.
1582
01:12:40,490 --> 01:12:41,891
It is that time of the evening
1583
01:12:41,925 --> 01:12:44,461
that you've all
been waiting for.
1584
01:12:44,494 --> 01:12:47,564
Your very handsome principal
is about to announce
1585
01:12:47,597 --> 01:12:49,499
your prom king and queen.
1586
01:12:50,867 --> 01:12:52,602
- You shall not pass!
1587
01:12:54,070 --> 01:12:55,639
(yelling)
1588
01:12:55,672 --> 01:12:58,608
- And the prom king is...
1589
01:12:58,642 --> 01:12:59,876
Louis Hammerschmidt?
1590
01:12:59,909 --> 01:13:00,910
(booing)
1591
01:13:00,944 --> 01:13:02,446
Wow, you guys suck at this.
1592
01:13:02,479 --> 01:13:06,483
- Make way or I'll have
you drawn and quartered.
1593
01:13:07,517 --> 01:13:10,019
(sighs)
1594
01:13:10,053 --> 01:13:11,988
My fellow classmates,
1595
01:13:12,021 --> 01:13:16,392
I intend to rule you all
with an iron but noble fist.
1596
01:13:17,226 --> 01:13:18,061
- No!
1597
01:13:19,763 --> 01:13:21,197
(yells)
1598
01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:23,600
- And the prom queen is...
1599
01:13:24,701 --> 01:13:25,334
Oh.
1600
01:13:26,703 --> 01:13:29,005
The lovely Miss Claire Stuart.
1601
01:13:31,841 --> 01:13:34,611
- That's you, go.
- Congratulations.
1602
01:13:34,644 --> 01:13:36,646
Oh wow, you look lovely.
1603
01:13:37,681 --> 01:13:38,982
- [Claire] Thank you.
1604
01:13:39,015 --> 01:13:41,585
- And let's let
beauty and the beast
1605
01:13:41,618 --> 01:13:44,120
regale us with a little dance.
1606
01:13:45,154 --> 01:13:46,690
Watch your step.
1607
01:13:48,124 --> 01:13:49,092
- Seize fire!
1608
01:13:49,125 --> 01:13:50,494
Seize fire!
1609
01:13:50,527 --> 01:13:52,161
- That was exhausting.
1610
01:13:53,196 --> 01:13:55,865
(heavy panting)
1611
01:13:57,567 --> 01:13:59,569
(yells)
1612
01:14:03,139 --> 01:14:07,443
("I'd Do Anything"
by Paul Chase)
1613
01:14:10,046 --> 01:14:14,984
(feet scuffling)
(yelling)
1614
01:14:15,018 --> 01:14:16,119
- Nerd fight!
1615
01:14:16,152 --> 01:14:17,554
(record scratching)
1616
01:14:17,587 --> 01:14:19,055
("Green Equals Go"
by The Phantoms)
1617
01:14:19,088 --> 01:14:20,189
- [Mindy] No!
1618
01:14:21,558 --> 01:14:22,626
- [Girl] Oh my god!
1619
01:14:22,659 --> 01:14:24,728
(grunting)
1620
01:14:26,129 --> 01:14:27,664
- Hey, do you need my help?
1621
01:14:27,697 --> 01:14:28,898
- No, I got this.
1622
01:14:30,567 --> 01:14:31,801
(chuckles)
1623
01:14:31,835 --> 01:14:33,169
- Where have you been?
1624
01:14:33,202 --> 01:14:37,273
- In Europe, proms
don't start until 11.
1625
01:14:37,306 --> 01:14:38,675
- Say you're sorry!
1626
01:14:38,708 --> 01:14:40,710
- Why couldn't you
just be happy for me?
1627
01:14:40,744 --> 01:14:43,613
- Because you were too busy
exploring your sexuality
1628
01:14:43,647 --> 01:14:46,550
to attend to my emotional needs.
1629
01:14:46,583 --> 01:14:48,051
You knew how much
MIT meant to me.
1630
01:14:48,084 --> 01:14:50,019
- You know what, I am sorry
that for once in my life
1631
01:14:50,053 --> 01:14:53,657
I found a boy that is totally
awesome and broodingly sexy.
1632
01:14:53,690 --> 01:14:55,659
Oh my god, Jodi, stop it.
1633
01:14:55,692 --> 01:14:56,693
- You think I'm totally awesome?
1634
01:14:56,726 --> 01:14:58,194
- Yeah.
- Cool, that's great.
1635
01:14:58,227 --> 01:14:59,295
- That's awesome.
- Thanks, man.
1636
01:14:59,328 --> 01:15:02,198
- And I am really sorry
that for once in your life
1637
01:15:02,231 --> 01:15:04,801
your 10-year plan didn't go
perfectly, but you know what,
1638
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:07,604
suck it up and deal with
it like the rest of us!
1639
01:15:07,637 --> 01:15:10,273
- Oh ew, are you two
gonna make out now?
1640
01:15:10,306 --> 01:15:13,142
- You know what,
Whitney, shut up!
1641
01:15:14,343 --> 01:15:15,579
I defended you.
1642
01:15:15,612 --> 01:15:18,682
Even after all of the horrible
crap that you put me through,
1643
01:15:18,715 --> 01:15:20,584
I still tried because
I was stupid enough
1644
01:15:20,617 --> 01:15:22,118
to feel bad for you.
1645
01:15:22,151 --> 01:15:23,720
- Do you think I actually care
1646
01:15:23,753 --> 01:15:25,755
what these people think of me?
1647
01:15:25,789 --> 01:15:27,657
High school is over.
1648
01:15:27,691 --> 01:15:30,927
I just wanted you two to know
before we all left that I won,
1649
01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:33,830
that I will always win
and whenever I want
1650
01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:36,733
I can take away that which you
hold most dear and crush it
1651
01:15:36,766 --> 01:15:39,202
and it barely took
any push at all
1652
01:15:39,235 --> 01:15:41,805
to turn you two
into Cain and Abel.
1653
01:15:41,838 --> 01:15:43,172
Frankly, I think
I did you a favor,
1654
01:15:43,206 --> 01:15:44,808
otherwise this
little horror show
1655
01:15:44,841 --> 01:15:46,943
likely would have dragged
on for another few years
1656
01:15:46,976 --> 01:15:50,046
before you two cut your
losses and moved on.
1657
01:15:50,079 --> 01:15:52,849
(solemn music)
1658
01:15:59,255 --> 01:16:00,990
- Maybe she's right.
1659
01:16:01,024 --> 01:16:02,992
It was stupid to think that
we would still be friends
1660
01:16:03,026 --> 01:16:04,628
after high school.
1661
01:16:04,661 --> 01:16:08,732
You're gonna do your thing,
I'm gonna do mine and,
1662
01:16:08,765 --> 01:16:10,867
and in 10 years we'll see
each other at the reunion
1663
01:16:10,900 --> 01:16:11,735
and smile.
1664
01:16:14,337 --> 01:16:16,840
Maybe that's the way
it's supposed to be.
1665
01:16:16,873 --> 01:16:18,341
- If that's how you really feel,
1666
01:16:18,374 --> 01:16:19,976
then maybe we should just
stop avoiding the inevitable
1667
01:16:20,009 --> 01:16:21,911
and end this right now.
1668
01:16:23,146 --> 01:16:24,714
- It is how I feel.
1669
01:16:25,715 --> 01:16:26,683
- Well that hurts.
1670
01:16:26,716 --> 01:16:30,086
(thudding)
(gasping)
1671
01:16:30,119 --> 01:16:32,288
Not as bad as that.
1672
01:16:32,321 --> 01:16:34,223
Oh you gotta be kidding me.
1673
01:16:34,257 --> 01:16:37,260
("Mug Shot" by MAX)
1674
01:16:42,899 --> 01:16:45,735
(camera clicking)
1675
01:16:46,903 --> 01:16:50,073
And with that the
revolution was over.
1676
01:16:54,778 --> 01:16:57,881
The police let me go, calling
Lipschitzium a misguided
1677
01:16:57,914 --> 01:17:00,283
but ultimately harmless prank.
1678
01:17:00,316 --> 01:17:04,921
- [Jodi]
After a hefty suspension, Mindy
returned to school
1679
01:17:04,954 --> 01:17:09,058
and all the cliques returned
to how they'd been before.
1680
01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:11,995
- Yep.
1681
01:17:29,278 --> 01:17:30,714
I drugged prom.
1682
01:17:31,915 --> 01:17:33,950
- Every scientist
has one great regret.
1683
01:17:33,983 --> 01:17:35,852
Look at Oppenheimer.
1684
01:17:37,220 --> 01:17:38,822
- So I had time to
do some thinking
1685
01:17:38,855 --> 01:17:40,890
while I was in the clink.
1686
01:17:40,924 --> 01:17:44,828
It wasn't just an adolescent
right of passage I ruined,
1687
01:17:44,861 --> 01:17:47,897
I destroyed all the good I did.
1688
01:17:47,931 --> 01:17:51,234
I had an opportunity
to really change things
1689
01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:53,202
and when it came down to it,
1690
01:17:53,236 --> 01:17:56,873
I was no different
than Whitney Bennett.
1691
01:17:56,906 --> 01:17:59,442
- I'm not gonna tell you
it was okay what you did.
1692
01:17:59,475 --> 01:18:00,877
But I understand.
1693
01:18:02,045 --> 01:18:03,780
It's hard feeling like
you're giving your best
1694
01:18:03,813 --> 01:18:06,716
and people don't value you.
1695
01:18:06,750 --> 01:18:08,051
There are always gonna be jerks.
1696
01:18:08,084 --> 01:18:09,786
That doesn't change
after high school.
1697
01:18:09,819 --> 01:18:12,021
And you can spend your
life trying to beat them
1698
01:18:12,055 --> 01:18:14,891
or prove them wrong
or get even with them,
1699
01:18:14,924 --> 01:18:17,827
but that's all wasted energy.
1700
01:18:17,861 --> 01:18:20,163
What you need to do
is figure out what
1701
01:18:20,196 --> 01:18:24,100
and who is important to
you and fight for that.
1702
01:18:25,368 --> 01:18:26,970
The rest doesn't matter.
1703
01:18:27,003 --> 01:18:29,806
(gentle music)
1704
01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:54,898
(excitedly hyperventilating)
1705
01:18:54,931 --> 01:18:56,933
(yells)
1706
01:19:02,538 --> 01:19:03,439
- Yes, yes!
1707
01:19:19,488 --> 01:19:21,858
(yells)
1708
01:19:21,891 --> 01:19:24,760
(elegant music)
1709
01:19:33,136 --> 01:19:35,038
- [Woman] Mr. Flemming.
1710
01:19:40,043 --> 01:19:41,444
(feet squeaking)
1711
01:19:41,477 --> 01:19:43,379
- Jodi Shallenberger,
is it Jodi?
1712
01:19:43,412 --> 01:19:44,981
Jodi Shallenberger!
1713
01:19:46,349 --> 01:19:48,852
Oh my god! (gasping)
1714
01:19:48,885 --> 01:19:49,785
I couldn't.
1715
01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:53,456
- What are you doing here?
1716
01:19:55,158 --> 01:19:58,094
(exhales heavily)
1717
01:19:58,127 --> 01:19:59,996
- I couldn't let you go in
there without you knowing
1718
01:20:00,029 --> 01:20:01,530
how proud I am of you.
1719
01:20:01,564 --> 01:20:02,631
- Mindy.
1720
01:20:02,665 --> 01:20:06,235
- I got into MIT today and
it didn't mean anything
1721
01:20:06,269 --> 01:20:08,972
because you weren't there
to celebrate with me.
1722
01:20:09,005 --> 01:20:11,240
I don't know how things
got so messed up.
1723
01:20:11,274 --> 01:20:13,009
Okay no, I do know.
1724
01:20:13,042 --> 01:20:14,944
I went totally Dr. Strangelove.
1725
01:20:14,978 --> 01:20:18,214
But the thing you said about
us being high school friends.
1726
01:20:18,247 --> 01:20:20,249
You're not my high
school friend.
1727
01:20:20,283 --> 01:20:21,951
You're my best friend.
1728
01:20:21,985 --> 01:20:24,287
We're the radical two.
1729
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:28,591
You will always know
about the face plant I got
1730
01:20:28,624 --> 01:20:31,260
that got me this dental bridge.
1731
01:20:31,294 --> 01:20:32,896
(laughs)
1732
01:20:32,929 --> 01:20:36,365
You will always know I
prefer odd numbers to even.
1733
01:20:36,399 --> 01:20:38,968
I don't know where
life will take us.
1734
01:20:39,002 --> 01:20:41,437
Hopefully, hopefully
to the 2020 Grammy's
1735
01:20:41,470 --> 01:20:43,973
and the first human
settlement on Mars.
1736
01:20:44,007 --> 01:20:46,142
But it doesn't matter
because all I know
1737
01:20:46,175 --> 01:20:49,512
is that I want you in
my life for all of it.
1738
01:20:49,545 --> 01:20:51,981
I am so sorry and I'm back.
1739
01:20:56,052 --> 01:20:57,921
(sobbing)
1740
01:20:57,954 --> 01:21:01,624
- I'm so sorry I was too
busy exploring my sexuality.
1741
01:21:01,657 --> 01:21:04,860
- It's okay, sexuality
is important.
1742
01:21:06,295 --> 01:21:08,031
- Oh my god.
1743
01:21:08,064 --> 01:21:10,099
Oh I am so glad you're
here, you have no idea.
1744
01:21:10,133 --> 01:21:12,035
I'm totally freaking out.
1745
01:21:13,136 --> 01:21:14,170
- Look at me.
1746
01:21:14,203 --> 01:21:15,972
Remember science fair finals.
1747
01:21:16,005 --> 01:21:17,907
I was so nervous,
I could almost puke
1748
01:21:17,941 --> 01:21:19,275
on my bacteria cultures.
1749
01:21:19,308 --> 01:21:21,277
You made me do it.
1750
01:21:22,178 --> 01:21:23,012
- Okay.
1751
01:21:24,513 --> 01:21:27,283
Get yourself together, Jodi.
1752
01:21:27,316 --> 01:21:29,986
I think I know
what we have to do.
1753
01:21:30,019 --> 01:21:31,020
- [Both] Oh!
1754
01:21:32,421 --> 01:21:34,490
(grunting)
1755
01:21:34,523 --> 01:21:35,324
Boom shaka laka laka,
1756
01:21:35,358 --> 01:21:36,259
boom shaka laka laka,
1757
01:21:36,292 --> 01:21:38,161
boom shaka laka laka boom.
1758
01:21:38,194 --> 01:21:39,428
* We reach for the stars
1759
01:21:39,462 --> 01:21:40,964
* 'Cause you are my friend
1760
01:21:40,997 --> 01:21:45,434
* And you're killing
it every day *
1761
01:21:45,468 --> 01:21:48,037
(door squeaks)
1762
01:21:50,073 --> 01:21:51,040
- [Woman] Miss Shallenberger.
1763
01:21:51,074 --> 01:21:53,076
(sighs)
1764
01:21:54,243 --> 01:21:54,877
- Wait!
1765
01:21:58,614 --> 01:22:01,117
Do or do not, there is no try.
1766
01:22:02,285 --> 01:22:03,119
- Right.
1767
01:22:06,022 --> 01:22:07,957
- That's my best friend!
1768
01:22:09,458 --> 01:22:10,926
My best friend.
1769
01:22:12,528 --> 01:22:15,098
Star Wars quote, the end of it.
1770
01:22:30,279 --> 01:22:31,314
(gasps)
1771
01:22:31,347 --> 01:22:33,516
(yelling)
1772
01:22:34,783 --> 01:22:36,519
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!
1773
01:22:39,088 --> 01:22:40,256
- [Woman] Shh!
1774
01:22:44,260 --> 01:22:45,361
- As I stand before you--
1775
01:22:45,394 --> 01:22:48,164
- [Mindy] So high
school was finally over.
1776
01:22:48,197 --> 01:22:49,765
- [Jodi] And maybe it was
just the Stockholm syndrome
1777
01:22:49,798 --> 01:22:53,269
talking, but for the first
time I kind of felt like
1778
01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:55,438
I was gonna miss the place.
1779
01:22:55,471 --> 01:22:57,373
- [Mindy] We had tried
so hard to tear down
1780
01:22:57,406 --> 01:23:00,043
the entire system
that we lost sight
1781
01:23:00,076 --> 01:23:02,378
of what our high
school really was,
1782
01:23:02,411 --> 01:23:06,549
people, people on the inside,
people on the outside,
1783
01:23:08,684 --> 01:23:11,287
people learning who they are.
1784
01:23:12,521 --> 01:23:14,757
- [Jodi] Who they want to be.
1785
01:23:14,790 --> 01:23:18,194
- [Mindy] Who they
don't want to be.
1786
01:23:18,227 --> 01:23:19,462
- Are you serious?
1787
01:23:19,495 --> 01:23:20,663
- [Jodi] Because no
matter who you are.
1788
01:23:20,696 --> 01:23:24,233
- [Mindy] The prom
king, the fashionista,
1789
01:23:24,267 --> 01:23:28,737
or the future disgraced senator,
high school is the same.
1790
01:23:28,771 --> 01:23:30,806
- [Jodi] It's the best of times.
1791
01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:33,509
- [Mindy] It's the
worst of times.
1792
01:23:33,542 --> 01:23:36,145
Full of wonderful people
1793
01:23:36,179 --> 01:23:38,314
and not so wonderful people.
1794
01:23:39,482 --> 01:23:42,251
- [Jodi] And it's
once in a lifetime.
1795
01:23:44,487 --> 01:23:47,223
- [Mindy] And we
made it through.
1796
01:23:53,762 --> 01:23:54,763
- We did it.
1797
01:23:54,797 --> 01:23:56,832
We're members of society,
we have the diploma.
1798
01:23:56,865 --> 01:23:58,134
We can prove it to everyone.
1799
01:23:58,167 --> 01:24:00,136
- Yeah.
- Yeah, well done.
1800
01:24:00,169 --> 01:24:02,105
- Well done to you too.
1801
01:24:08,311 --> 01:24:09,412
- I'll call you, Wellesley.
1802
01:24:09,445 --> 01:24:11,447
- All right, Penn State.
1803
01:24:15,184 --> 01:24:16,219
- You guys.
- Come on.
1804
01:24:16,252 --> 01:24:17,186
- Hey guys.
1805
01:24:17,853 --> 01:24:19,122
(laughter)
1806
01:24:19,155 --> 01:24:21,290
That was classic.
- Wait.
1807
01:24:21,324 --> 01:24:24,293
(students chattering)
1808
01:24:33,369 --> 01:24:35,138
(clears throat)
1809
01:24:35,171 --> 01:24:35,871
- Hi.
1810
01:24:35,904 --> 01:24:37,673
Mindy, Jodi, Claire, Virginia.
1811
01:24:37,706 --> 01:24:41,210
Sugar, I was wondering if
you would perhaps honor me.
1812
01:24:41,244 --> 01:24:43,112
- I'll see you
this week, Martin.
1813
01:24:43,146 --> 01:24:44,147
- Thank you.
1814
01:24:45,314 --> 01:24:48,451
- Hey, the heart wants whatever
pasty, bespectacled thing
1815
01:24:48,484 --> 01:24:51,587
the heart wants and
don't you look so smug
1816
01:24:51,620 --> 01:24:54,190
because you know what
our next mission is,
1817
01:24:54,223 --> 01:24:56,192
getting you your first date.
1818
01:24:56,225 --> 01:24:57,226
- Yes.
(claps)
1819
01:24:57,260 --> 01:24:58,627
(car horn blares)
1820
01:24:58,661 --> 01:24:59,562
- [Claire] That's me.
1821
01:24:59,595 --> 01:25:01,330
- I'll see you this week?
1822
01:25:01,364 --> 01:25:02,198
- Deal.
1823
01:25:03,799 --> 01:25:04,633
- Bye.
1824
01:25:10,339 --> 01:25:11,674
- That's my driver.
1825
01:25:11,707 --> 01:25:12,675
- Spill it.
1826
01:25:12,708 --> 01:25:14,510
What are you doing next year?
1827
01:25:14,543 --> 01:25:16,245
- Little of this,
little of that.
1828
01:25:16,279 --> 01:25:19,882
I'm just gonna see
where the wind takes me.
1829
01:25:22,851 --> 01:25:24,453
- That girl's
going into the CIA.
1830
01:25:24,487 --> 01:25:25,421
- No doubt.
1831
01:25:28,224 --> 01:25:29,658
- You ready, Dolores?
1832
01:25:29,692 --> 01:25:30,626
(gasps)
1833
01:25:30,659 --> 01:25:32,161
- Don't even.
1834
01:25:32,195 --> 01:25:33,362
That woman birthed me.
1835
01:25:33,396 --> 01:25:35,931
She can call me
whatever she wants.
1836
01:25:35,964 --> 01:25:38,301
- No problem, Dolores.
- Hey.
1837
01:25:39,335 --> 01:25:40,369
- Pound it, Dolores.
1838
01:25:40,403 --> 01:25:42,171
(laughs)
1839
01:25:42,205 --> 01:25:43,672
- We'll see you this
summer, Dolores, yeah?
1840
01:25:43,706 --> 01:25:45,774
(grunts)
1841
01:25:47,976 --> 01:25:49,378
- We miss you already, Dolores!
1842
01:25:49,412 --> 01:25:50,879
- Love you, Dolores!
1843
01:25:50,913 --> 01:25:53,316
Really strong pound, Dolores.
1844
01:25:56,319 --> 01:25:57,953
So Martin and Dolores.
1845
01:25:57,986 --> 01:25:58,887
- [Jodi] Weird, right?
1846
01:25:58,921 --> 01:26:01,290
- [Mindy] Who'd have thunk it?
1847
01:26:01,324 --> 01:26:02,558
- We gotta--
- Oh!
1848
01:26:02,591 --> 01:26:04,260
Wait.
1849
01:26:04,293 --> 01:26:06,229
I almost forgot.
1850
01:26:06,262 --> 01:26:06,862
Open it.
1851
01:26:13,802 --> 01:26:15,671
- One economy class train ticket
1852
01:26:15,704 --> 01:26:18,307
from Boston to New York City.
1853
01:26:22,645 --> 01:26:24,747
(laughs)
1854
01:26:27,450 --> 01:26:29,918
- Next year is going to be epic.
1855
01:26:32,788 --> 01:26:34,457
- Next year?
1856
01:26:34,490 --> 01:26:36,925
We still got the summer.
1857
01:26:36,959 --> 01:26:38,294
Summer go to my place.
1858
01:26:38,327 --> 01:26:40,396
- Oh you know it, whoo!
1859
01:26:40,429 --> 01:26:41,430
("Out of Mind" by Magic Nam)
1860
01:26:41,464 --> 01:26:43,999
* 'Cause I know you
1861
01:26:44,032 --> 01:26:48,003
* Oh it's been a week
since I fell apart
1862
01:26:48,036 --> 01:26:51,940
* They say it's getting better
1863
01:26:51,974 --> 01:26:56,412
* But if this is the end,
then when was the start?
1864
01:26:56,445 --> 01:27:00,449
* They say it's getting better
1865
01:27:00,483 --> 01:27:04,520
* Oh it's been a week
since I fell apart
1866
01:27:04,553 --> 01:27:08,357
* They say it's getting better
1867
01:27:08,391 --> 01:27:11,794
* But if this is the end,
then when was the start?
1868
01:27:11,827 --> 01:27:13,429
(static fuzzing)
1869
01:27:13,462 --> 01:27:16,665
* I can feel it in my bones
1870
01:27:16,699 --> 01:27:20,869
* Oh the sanity is on the line
1871
01:27:20,903 --> 01:27:24,940
* Well I should've
gone, I should've known
1872
01:27:24,973 --> 01:27:28,977
* That you're out of
sight, out of mind
1873
01:27:29,011 --> 01:27:33,349
* But I can't afford
to lose the spot
1874
01:27:33,382 --> 01:27:37,386
* Or you're keeping
me all in the dark
1875
01:27:37,420 --> 01:27:41,624
* Now I'm fading
like a photograph
1876
01:27:41,657 --> 01:27:44,693
* And I'm scared that
you're all I have
1877
01:27:44,727 --> 01:27:47,463
* 'Cause I know you
1878
01:27:47,496 --> 01:27:51,400
* Oh it's been a week
since I fell apart
1879
01:27:51,434 --> 01:27:55,371
* They say it's getting better
1880
01:27:55,404 --> 01:27:59,742
* But if this is the end,
then when was the start?
1881
01:27:59,775 --> 01:28:01,777
* They say it's getting better
1882
01:28:01,810 --> 01:28:06,415
* They say it's
getting better oh oh
1883
01:28:06,449 --> 01:28:08,884
* Oh oh oh oh
1884
01:28:10,052 --> 01:28:14,590
* They say it's
getting better oh oh
1885
01:28:14,623 --> 01:28:17,826
* Oh oh oh oh
1886
01:28:17,860 --> 01:28:20,863
* 'Cause I know you
1887
01:28:30,539 --> 01:28:33,709
* But do you know me?
1888
01:28:38,614 --> 01:28:41,116
* 'Cause I know you
1889
01:28:41,149 --> 01:28:45,454
* Oh it's been a week
since I fell apart
1890
01:28:45,488 --> 01:28:49,124
* They say it's getting better
1891
01:28:49,157 --> 01:28:53,429
* But if this is the end,
then when was the start?
1892
01:28:53,462 --> 01:28:55,564
* They say it's getting better
1893
01:28:55,598 --> 01:29:00,603
* They say it's
getting better oh oh
1894
01:29:00,636 --> 01:29:03,472
* Oh oh oh oh
1895
01:29:03,506 --> 01:29:05,941
* 'Cause I know you
1896
01:29:05,974 --> 01:29:09,978
* Oh it's been a week
since I fell apart
1897
01:29:10,012 --> 01:29:13,916
* They say it's getting better
1898
01:29:13,949 --> 01:29:18,454
* But if this is the end,
then when was the start?
1899
01:29:18,487 --> 01:29:22,891
* They say it's
getting better oh oh
1900
01:29:22,925 --> 01:29:26,028
* Oh oh oh oh
1901
01:29:26,061 --> 01:29:28,497
* 'Cause I know you
1902
01:29:28,531 --> 01:29:31,967
* I know, I know, I know
1903
01:29:35,571 --> 01:29:37,473
* But do you know me?
1904
01:29:37,506 --> 01:29:40,075
(dramatic music)
1905
01:30:27,490 --> 01:30:29,958
(playful music)
1906
01:31:14,970 --> 01:31:17,740
(gentle music)
1907
01:32:09,758 --> 01:32:13,195
(gentle uplifting music)
1908
01:32:47,262 --> 01:32:49,932
(playful music)
1909
01:32:56,004 --> 01:32:58,841
(uplifting music)
1910
01:33:29,137 --> 01:33:31,740
(gentle music)
1911
01:34:05,908 --> 01:34:08,944
(film reel flapping)
1912
01:34:10,779 --> 01:34:11,947
- [Woman] Fin.
127768
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