All language subtitles for Def Comedy Jam s03e06.eng

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

KID CAPRI: It's the
Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

Ladies and gentleman,
put your hands together

for my main man,
Mr. Martin Lawrence.

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]

Yeah.[MUSIC STOPS]

Kid Capri! Give my man
a round of applause.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

I'll get to you later
and that hairstyle.

[CHUCKLES]

Wassup!

I see a white section
up there.

There's a lot
of white section.

Uh-uh, keep your ass
right up there.

Now you know how the fuck
we felt for years.

[AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS]

Hey, Rosie Perez in the house.
Wassup, Rosie?

White men can't jump, huh?

They can't pump either.
You know that shit now, don't you?

That's my girl,
'cause we go way back.

We made her first
movie together.

I love you baby, though,
you my heart. Wassup?

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Yeah.

Got Tony Campbell and Oakley
from the Knicks,

and all brothers in the house
from the Knicks.

Man, y'all goin' win this
shit this year or what, man?

Stop bullshitting,
losin' fucking games.

Oakley, don't be back there
laughing too, man,

with the big-ass purple,
look like a big ass grape.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

No, Oakley always laughing
and playing and fouling motherfuckers.

Foul me, Oak,
I'm telling you,

you foul me I'm like this.
Come on.

Just playin', Oak.
I love you, man.

Where's Pepper?
Wassup, man?

Pepper! Pepper Johnson
with the Giants.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Got a new coach, huh?

So this means y'all goin' win
three games this year, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

No. Pepper my motherfucker,
that's my man.

Pepper man, I can't hang out
with you football players.

You motherfuckers are crazy
when y'all get to drinking.

Y'all just be, "Fuck!"

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Scary, Pep.

What you doing with a vest on?
I know you got money.

Boy, you look good.

Ain't he a big good-looking
black brother, ain't he?

[WOMEN WHOOP]Look at the sistas,
they like that.

[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]

Standing, looking
at your wallet,

"How you doing,
Pepper Johnson?"

Pepper Johnson!

How you doing
with the hairdo?

I don't wanna know
about the hairdo.

Now, that's
your hair, right?

Now tell me the truth.
Hold on, sista, this is with us.

You know what I'm saying?

We talking to her right now.

Mind your motherfuckin'
business and hold on.

Now that's all yours?

That's nice, though.
Who did that?

Girl, talk to me.
Who did your hair?

Huh?

No, see, tell the crowd
who did it.

Neeci.

We don't fuckin' know Neeci.
Tell us who Neeci is.

Neeci. Oh, you?

How Neeci do your hair,
and her shit's fucked up?

[AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS]

[CHUCKLES]

I'm joking.
Hey, just playing.

I'm just...

Neeci, Neeci,
I'm just joking.

Just leave her hair alone.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

We got Ray Murphy
in the house.

He don't do shit,
he just Eddie Murphy uncle.

Give him a round of applause.

Wassup, Ray? [CHUCKLES]

He ain't think
I see you up there, right?

Every time I see you though,
ray, you be sporting.

Ray like, "Motherfucker,
yeah, yeah."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Wassup, man?

How's Eddie doing, man?

Yeah man, I had a good time
with him, man, doing Boomerang.

Just I ain't bringing
no woman over to his motherfuckin' house.

Eddie got too much fly shit
to be bringing women over his house.

My man, Kid,
just bought a house.

Can't tell... You know Kid,
from Kid 'N Play.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

I'm bullshittin'.

Them my boys.

I love y'all, Kid. You know
I'm fucking with you, man.

We did movies together, man.
I love y'all, man.

You know.

Kris Kross rollin',
and y'all rollin'.

Y'all should get together
and get one big united front.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

He goin' dog me later now
'cause I fucked with you and Kris Kross. All right.

You mad at me?
Well then fuck it, Kid.

Because I've moved on.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

All right, all right.
Now look, y'all keep that energy going

'cause these comics
coming out here working hard for you.

A lot of them, some of them
is their first time, but they're here for you

and because,
and we're back because you made it possible

and so we want to thank you.

Now, give it up
for my man, Terry Hodges.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]

Hello![MUSIC STOPS]

All right, you
motherfuckers still cold.

What's happening?

Crazy motherfuckers.

How you doing, man?

Motherfucker here dressed
here like one of the five Heartbeats.

What's up, motherfucker?

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Motherfucker got
a Jheri curl and a process.

[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

Hey, I'm telling you, I don't
care what nobody say,

please write letters,
do whatever you can.

Mike Tyson should not be
locked up.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

That's true.

We all know Mike
got some problems.

I used to hang out
with Mike at Bentley's.

Every woman go by,
he'd be like, "Hoink hoink.

"Hoink, hoink."

I said, "Mike, you
the heavyweight champion of the world, man.

"You can't be foolin' on
these women's asses."

"What you mean?"

And then I find out these
woman were suing, and gettin' big money.

Shit, I got in line.
[VOCALIZES HOINK]

'Cause I don't give a fuck
what nobody say.

Mike Tyson can fuck me
for five million.

Fuck that. It's cold,
it's tight out here in this motherfucker.

Motherfucker be fuckin',
"Who's the champ?

"Who's the champ?"

Fuck that.

Give me a Rolls Royce,

y'all be like, "Look at that
faggot motherfucker

"in that Rolls Royce."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

Sew my ass up.

Give me one of them
hot water bottles.

Ladies, please don't lie
to your kids like my mother did to me.

She lied to me.
Told me that douche bag was a hot water bottle.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

And me and my buddies,
we was in the cub scouts.

We went...
We went on a hunting trip.

I couldn't afford a canteen.

[AUDIENCE GROANS]

Filled that motherfucker up
with Kool-Aid.

Talking about,
a hunting we will go, a hunting we will go.

Them motherfuckers
ran out of their shit,

I still had half a
bag of Kool-Aid.

Talkin' about,
"Hey, hey, oh, no.

"That ain't no
Kool-Aid, motherfucker."

Crazy shit out here.

How you doing, brother?

Motherfucker's so black,
he don't walk, he just appear.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

You and I be having a
conversation and be like, "Hey, motherfucker."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Crazy shit.
How you doing, man?

Scud missile-head
motherfucker, what's happening?

Nigga, glasses so thick,
you can look at a map and see people waving.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Crazy shit,
and I'm telling you.

In 1993, if you ain't
eating pussy, fellas,

you ain't going to be able
to keep your woman.

Now, I don't want to offend
any of the ladies in the house

by telling them that
they have to eat pussy.

So, if I have offended you
ladies, would you please clap.

Now, if you like
your pussy ate

but you don't want
to incriminate yourself,

could you just wink.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

'Cause I'm telling you,
fellas.

Ain't nothing wrong
with eating pussy.

Ain't nothing wrong with
liking where you come from.

That's called recycling.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

'Cause I know we get into
that old macho shit, you know.

Yeah, I got A... I met a woman
about a week ago.

She was fine.

She said, "Look, later
for that old macho shit, we goin' do some new shit.

"Say back!
Down with the new shit."

[VOCALIZES]

She... Went to her house.

She said, "I want you
to take off your clothes and you get into bed first."

I said, "Back!"

Took my shit off, jumped
in the bed, she was fine!

And ladies, if you really
want to turn a man on,

wear some tight,
tight panties,

not them
Oprah Winfrey panties.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

She was fine.

She was so fine,
my dick was so hard,

a midget could do pull-ups
on that motherfucker.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

She said, "Before I take them
off, I want you to roll over on your stomach."

Back! Roll over on my stomach.

New shit. [VOCALIZES]

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

And then I said
to myself, "Self,

"you know, God,
you and I are cool.

"Please, God, don't let
this be no man."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Crazy shit.

Has anybody here got asthma?

Lying motherfuckers.

I got asthma.

I'm telling you,
if you have asthma and you making love,

don't talk shit 'cause
you goin' run out of air.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

I got my asthma spray
right before I got the pussy.

[VOCALIZES SPRAYING]

Came out,
"Oh, shit, goddamn it, baby, who pussy is this?

"God dam it, who...
Who pussy is this?"

She say, "Martin Lawrence."

[AUDIENCE CHEERS AND LAUGHS]

Fuck the wrong shit,
one of them who pussies. "Who pussy?"

[GASPS]

Crazy shit.

Before I go,
I have to say this,

'cause I always
say this in my show.

When you got a beautiful
audience like this,

you have to do
positive messages.

I hate the Klan.

Ku Klux Klan.
I hate the motherfuckers.

And if you look at...
Fuck the Klan.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

You ever see the Klan?

All they do is kill
black...

Poor black people, like,
in rural areas and shit.

How come them motherfuckers
don't... All you see is,

"We hate niggas."

Ain't no niggas around.

"We hate niggas.
We hate niggas.

"We hate Jews."
Ain't no Jews around.

"We hate Jews."

How come them motherfuckers
don't come to Harlem and say that shit?

[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

'Cause we could damn sure
use them sheets.

God bless, goodnight.

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]

Terry Hodges.[MUSIC STOPS]

Give it up for my man,
Terry Hodges.

Coming to the stage
from Marshall, Texas.

Brother's living in LA.
He runs a comedy club out there, the town house.

Give it up for my man,
Wan Dexter.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC STOPS]

All right, wassup,
New York? Wassup?

All right, everybody
in the house.

Let me hear you say, "Hey!"

AUDIENCE: Hey!

Oh, yeah, 'cause,
you know, that's like our secret password.

You know what I'm saying?
I don't care where you are,

when you see a fine man,

a fine woman,

you hear your favorite song
on the radio,

what's the secret password?

AUDIENCE: Hey!

Hey.

Fellas, don't you hate,
though, when you in a club

and your lady looking good,
you with her.

And another fine lady walk by,
all you can do is this.

Hey. [CHUCKLES]

Oh! [CHUCKLES]

And in L.A., you know,
they got the swap meets.

And they got all those
Koreans in there,

they be in those
record shops.

I don't know if
they study or what,

but they know where
every damn rap tape,

they know the name
of the groups,

they can tell you
everything.

I don't know how they did it.
They like,

[IN KOREAN ACCENT]
"Oh, oh, TLC, right here.

[CHUCKLES]

"Jodeci, oh, oh, right here."

[CHUCKLES]

[IN NORMAL ACCENT] Y'all,
I made up a group,

just to see what
he was gonna say.

I said, "Look man, you got
MC Bubbilicious Fish Eyes?"

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

[VOCALIZING SPEAKING KOREAN]

[IN KOREAN ACCENT]
"Right here."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

[IN NORMAL ACCENT] Man,
they ain't even came out yet.

[IN KOREAN ACCENT] "We got it,
motherfucker, right here."

[IN NORMAL ACCENT] I said,
"Damn, this brother got everything."

I said, "You got pictures
of my wife fucking around?"

[IN KOREAN ACCENT]
"Right here.

"Oh, he fucked her good, too."

Sit on this, right here.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, they do all
of that, y'all.

MC.

Y'all, believe it or not,
I used to teach

fourth graders for six years.

Y'all remember being
in the fourth grade, right?

Oh, yeah,
ain't nothing changed.

Nothing has changed, y'all.
They do the same stuff.

Oh, they talk about each other
and I'm supposed to tell them,

"Don't do nothing.
No talking about each other."

But, you know,
being a comedian, I need the material.

So, I let them go,
and they get up and talk about each other.

[AS A KID] "You shut up.
Your momma so poor.

"I went over her house
and asked her what she was having for dinner,

"and she put her foot on her
plate and said corn."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

[AS HIMSELF] I'm at my desk
like this, right?

That was pretty good. Corn.

So, another little girl
got up.

[AS SMALL GIRL] "Yo momma
so stupid, she put some lipstick on her head

"talkin' about she trying
to make up her mind."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

That's good.

[CHUCKLES]

[AS HIMSELF] And I have one
little boy in my class, right,

named Eduardo.

Eduardo used to cuss
all the time.

I could never,
never call on him

because I would think he'd
say a bad word in class.

So, we were going through our
vocabulary words A through Z.

"All right, what's
our A word?"

Eduardo was like,
"Oh, oh, come on, Mr. Dexter,

"I got a word, I got a word."

And I'm thinking
in my mind, "No."

'Cause if I call on Eduardo
for the letter A, he might say...

AUDIENCE: Asshole.

Eduardo?

All right. [CHUCKLES]

So, we skipped him.
We skipped, right?

We got to the letter B,
he's like, "Oh, come on, Mr. Dexter,

"I got a word, I got a word.
Please call on me."

And I said, no.

'Cause if I call on Eduardo
for the letter B he might say...

AUDIENCE: Bitch.

Yea, y'all good. [CHUCKLES]

So we skipped
the letters C, D, E.

You know we skipped
the letter F.

Got all the way
to the letter R.

He's still hanging in there.
"Oh, come on, teacher, you never call on me."

And I'm thinking
in my mind, hell,

I don't know a curse
word that starts with a R.

I guess it's safe.
"Okay, Eduardo, what's your word?"

He said, "Rat.

"Big ass motherfuckin' rat.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

"This motherfucker was big.

"Yeah, fuckin' dick was
that long too, teacher."

Hey I'm Wan Dexter, y'all,
thanks a lot.

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Kid Capri.

We love you in New York,
Kid Capri,

and we love you all over.

So... [CHUCKLES]

So, coming to the stage
from Washington D.C.,

living in L.A. now,
please welcome Mark Wheatle. Give it up.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING][MUSIC STARTS]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Wassup? Wassup?

How's everybody doing?

Good, good.

I was watching the president
on TV last night.

Bill Clinton is the jogginest
motherfucker I've ever seen.

The secret service can't
even keep up with him.

'Cause Clinton claims to be
a man of the people.

He like to wake up
in the morning, eat breakfast at McDonald's,

play the saxophone on TV,

be hanging out on the corner
with hoes and shit.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

You know, and the only
reason I like Clinton

because when the reporters
ask him a question,

he give up a real answer.

Reporters will be like,
"All right, excuse me, Mr. Clinton,

"how do you feel about
President Bush going over to Somalia

"to feed the starving negros.

"What are your thoughts
about that?"

Clinton be like, "Man,
fuck that. Next question."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

"Shit, ask me about
some weed or something."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

[CHUCKLES]

Man it's '93,
it's a new year.

Gotta get paid, man.

You gotta learn how
to run a scam, man.

Just to survive, you gotta
know how to run game.

'Cause I used to work
at a bank as a teller.

It's hard working for somebody
when you wanna rob them.

Every day I go to work.
You know, I don't think they would suspect me.

I actually had one
of my friends come in and rob us one time.

And I remember telling
this brother.

I said, "Look man, this is
what you gotta do."

"Come into the bank,
write out a note,

"hand me the note,
I'll give you the money.

"Tell the manager
it was a white boy,

"boom, meet you
around the corner.

"You got that?

"Don't fuck this up man,
we gonna get paid, all right?"

And he was one
of them dumb brothers.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah
I got it, man, I got it, man.

"We all right.
We gonna get paid."

So, the next day,
he comes into the bank wearing a stocking cap.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

And stands in line.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Like nobody goin' know
he waiting for me.

You know? So, after about
fifteen minutes,

he comes over to my counter
and he hands me this note.

And the note says,
"Dear Mark,

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

"This is a robbery.

"Put all the money in the bag,
don't try nothing, nobody will get hurt.

"PS: Meet you
around the corner."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Dumb, man.

I'm trying to figure
people out, man.

I'm trying figure these
white people out.

I think white people
been crazy way back since Evel Knievel.

Y'all remember Evel Knievel
jumping over the grand canyon on a ten speed?

That's some crazy shit.

And white people have
an expert for everything.

You know, if they fucked up
in the head

they go to a psychiatrist
to tell them that they fucked up.

And for sex, they listen
to Dr. Ruth.

Dr. Ruth is 200 years old.

What does she know
about fuckin'?

Last person to hit that
was a cave man.

[AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS]

I would not get
my advice on sex

from someone
that ain't fuckin'.

See, only white people
do that. Only white people,

"Hey, I need some advice,
can you help me?"

Black people,
we will not do that.

Brothers, we have a problem
with our sex life, we just keep fuckin'.

It will work itself out.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Fuck that.

But on the real before I go,
man, I wanna tell y'all

that there are a lot
of elements out there

trying to take us out
as a community, as people.

Brothers, if you're
having sex, put on a condom.

Please. All right, for real.

'Cause it's just that simple.

If you fuck without a condom,
you die. It's that simple.

'Cause AIDS don't give a fuck
if you white, black, gay, straight, whatever.

AIDS dropping people
off like flies.

Sometimes I put on
two condoms.

'Cause I ain't trying to be
one of these brothers

walking down the street
and falling out.

Be walking down the street,
"Hey, you know, I got some pussy last night."

[AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS]

New York, thanks.

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey Russell![MUSIC STOPS]

Russell and them
have a new group on Def Jam.

Give it up for Onex.

Up there.

And the lead singer
is Sticky Fingers.

How the fuck you get
sticky fingers, man?

How you get the name
sticky fingers on the label?

That's all I want to know.

All right, y'all, coming
to the stage, this is my man.

This is one of them brothers
I truly think...

I thought of it last year,
he should've had a one-night stand.

He's a very,
very funny brother.

One of the most talented
young brothers out here.

And whenever you see him,
go support him 'cause the boy is bad.

Give it for what can I say,

he's in Poetic Justice,
you can see him.

Give it up for my man,
Joe Torry.

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Wassup!

Dogs in the house. [WOOFS]

If y'all ready for this
last laugh, let me hear you say, "Hell yeah."

AUDIENCE: Hell yeah!

All right then,
we can get this motherfucker started.

You get your boots
off the stage man.

You ain't at home
and shit, God damn.

Feel like a gay pirate.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Your boot all over the
motherfuckin' stage.

What the fuck is wrong
with you?

Do that shit at home?

Yeah.Yeah?

'Cause you ain't got
no motherfuckin' furniture, that's why.

Crates don't matter.

That's a damn shame.

What's up, man?
Muffin man, the muffin man.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

This big old motherfucker.

Sitting there like
a big ass bag of snacks.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

Yeah, motherfucker.

I outta jump down there
and print your brownie off your forehead.

Probably take your shirt
off your back.

It's rolled up like
a honey bun.

It's a big-ass vending
machine there.

Just kick you in the ass,
all type of just treats fall the fuck out.

Cigarettes, beechnut gum,
motherfuckin', Ho Hos, Ding Dongs.

Just sweet roll-ass
motherfucker.

He's sitting there
and shit, man,

'cause he can't get to
the muffins in his pocket.

He's pinching
the motherfucker off.

I ain't worried about you
coming to the stage

'cause by the time you
get here, you'll be tired.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Big old ass and shit.

I got it. Hey.

I hope I get some pussy,
all that screaming.

Shit, woo hoo.

Come home with me,
you take that shit up a notch.

All right, I be cool.

I'll quit that shit,
I'll quit that shit.

I ain't got much goddamn
time up here.

I wanna talk about
the gays, man.

I think they should let them
in the military. Fuck that shit.

'Cause I ain't going...
Let them motherfuckers go fight.

Half y'all thinking that,
you know, don't send them over

'cause they got the sickness
or some shit like that,

and everybody else
will get it. Fuck that.

Shoot, they put
that shit in the gun

and have them shoot it over
to the motherfuckin' enemy.

Kill them motherfuckers
'cause them gays might come in handy.

I ain't got nothing against
they ass, for real, they might come in handy.

Say you in the goddamn,
you know,

you crawling through the
goddamn jungle and shit.

You know and shit
through the jungle, sneaking up on your enemy,

and a snake bite you
on your dick.

And you gonna lay there
hollerin', "Medic, medic".

Medic ain't coming to suck
the poison out your dick.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Motherfucker. You better
call Lieutenant Liberace or some motherfucker.

'Cause if I'm private and
that motherfucker,

his ass sit there and bleed
like a motherfucker.

Shit, you gotta die, man,
I ain't sucking your dick.

Fuck that shit.

Motherfucker, and they always
talking about everybody trying to turn somebody people gay,

and all them motherfuckers
talking about Michael Jackson. Fuck y'all.

Michael Jackson
buy all you broke motherfuckers.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

Always... Mike ain't done
shit to nobody, never.

I'm with you, Mike,
if you wanna paint your ass orange,

have a tail coming out
your ass, I'm with you.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

You see he shut Hammer
straight the fuck up, didn't he?

Hammer trying to fuck
with him, talking about,

"I wanna challenge Mike
to a dance contest."

Mike's in a
whole other level.

He could of just called
a radio station

and have Hammer shit
cut smooth the fuck off.

[AS MICHAEL JACKSON]
"Hello, yeah, cut Hammer's shit off.

"Yeah, and Jermaine's, too."

Motherfucker, Mike got money
and shit.

And they talking about he gay.
Mike ain't gay.

Mike just a happy
motherfucker, big-ass kid, he ain't got to grow up.

For real, that's why
he got them animals now,

so he can do what
the fuck he want to.

See, Joe Jackson
don't come over his house now, beating his ass, do he?

Mike be like, "Come on over,
I'll sic this gorilla on your motherfuckin' ass."

[AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS]

So I'm just getting me a
nice-ass woman and shit.

But I can't...
But you don't know...

You don't know if you can
trust them though, man.

You be on the
road and shit.

Don't know if you can trust
woman now goddamn days.

Come home and shit
they've been fucking.

You know they goin' fuck,
you've been gone three months.

'Cause woman can lie
and shit.

Woman can lie about they shit
'cause they can adjust they shit.

For real.

They can look at a
man's dick and just adjust it like it's rich.

They be like, "Seven
sixteenths, god damn."

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

They be sitting there,
talking to your ass,

talking about,
"I ain't fuck nobody."

You be like, "You're
a goddamn liar. I know how horny you get.

Your ass... "I been gone three
months, you've been fucking."

"I ain't." You get inside.
Talking about, "See, see how tight it is."

And she be done adjusted
the motherfucker.

You be like, "I believe you,
baby, I believe you."

You be like,
"You believe me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know,
it's so goddamn tight." And she done adjusted it.

And then as soon as
that motherfucker get wet, the truth come out.

You be like, "I believe,
I believe you!

"Hey, what the fuck happened?

"Oh, that's fucked up,
fucked up, fucked up.

"Let me out this motherfucker
you, lying bitch,

"bitch, bitch, bitch,
bitch, bitch."

Peace y'all, I'm out.[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]

All right.[MUSIC STOPS]

Well.

Another Def Jam
is down and gone.

Let's bring my man out.

Thank you guys for always,
always supporting.

And bring my man,
Russell Simmons up here.

I got my eye
on somebody, Russell.

Thank y'all for coming out.
God bless you. Goodnight.

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

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