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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:00:03,433 --> 00:00:07,503
Okay, boys. Here we go.
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These are your gloves.
4
00:00:08,350 --> 00:00:11,450
This is the ball,
and these are the rules--
5
00:00:11,483 --> 00:00:13,253
You throw, you catch.
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00:00:13,283 --> 00:00:15,123
Reverse, repeat.
7
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Where's your cap?
8
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Oh, I'm not really
a cap person.
9
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,380
Oh, come on.
You'll look adorable.
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My life's ambition.
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Try and be cool.
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There.
13
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Oh, yeah, we cool.
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Come on, Gracie.
We're going to the park.
15
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I'm a little anxious
16
00:00:35,483 --> 00:00:37,403
about this
whole
kite thing.
17
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:39,433
Why, sweetie?
We're gonna have fun.
18
00:00:39,466 --> 00:00:42,096
What if I let go of the string
and lose it?
19
00:00:42,133 --> 00:00:44,163
I'm not good with separation.
20
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:47,220
Oh, come on.
You're not gonna lose it.
21
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,230
A kite
is like a really cute guy.
22
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:52,246
You give him some slack,
let him fly free.
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Then, at the end of the day,
24
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:57,830
you yank his string
and reel him back in.
25
00:00:57,116 --> 00:00:58,996
And you hang him
on a hook
26
00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:01,470
till you're ready
to use him again.
27
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And I'm teaching you?
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00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,280
♪♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪♪
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♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
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♪♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪♪
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♪♪ In one
Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
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♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
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♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
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♪♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪♪
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♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
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00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:24,826
♪♪ She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more ♪♪
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♪♪ She had style, she had flair
She was there ♪♪
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♪♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪♪
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♪♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪♪
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♪♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
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00:01:35,116 --> 00:01:36,316
♪♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪♪
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00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:38,100
♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
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♪♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪♪
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♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
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♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
46
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♪♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪♪
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♪♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪♪
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♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
49
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:57,400
Okay, last question--
what is the capital of Peru?
50
00:01:57,433 --> 00:01:58,453
Lima.
51
00:01:58,483 --> 00:02:00,253
Very good!
52
00:02:00,283 --> 00:02:02,163
Boy, if she fit in your bookbag,
53
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,270
you might actually
pass this test.
54
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:05,220
I don't need to be a genius.
55
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,160
I'm going to be a producer,
like Dad.
56
00:02:08,216 --> 00:02:10,096
Who said that?
57
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,350
Good morning, everyone.
58
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,323
I have the most fabulous news.
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00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:18,660
They've
selected
a dilettante
60
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,450
for the Biosphere?
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00:02:19,483 --> 00:02:21,153
I was at Elizabeth Arden
62
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,323
getting a facial, manicure,
and herbal wrap--
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00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:24,450
You know, at Earl Scheib,
64
00:02:24,483 --> 00:02:27,663
you could get the whole job done
for $89.95,
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00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,170
bodywork included.
66
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,830
Anyway, who do you think
was under the next turban?
67
00:02:32,116 --> 00:02:35,326
Aladdin?
Yasser Arafat?
68
00:02:35,660 --> 00:02:36,420
No, that's not a turban,
that's a burnoose.
69
00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:39,330
Whatever it is,
he could use a facial,
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00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,000
or better yet, a chemical peel.
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00:02:41,330 --> 00:02:43,130
C.C.: Nanny Fine...
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00:02:43,166 --> 00:02:44,446
Wha..? We're giving him
the Gaza Strip.
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00:02:44,483 --> 00:02:46,433
Would it kill him
to take a shave
74
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:49,126
and put on
a little Paco Rabanne?
75
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:51,416
Does the name Maureen Wentworth
ring a bell?
76
00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:53,100
Not even a jingle.
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00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:55,373
She invested $50,000
in our last production.
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00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,150
Ah, yes.
How is the dear lady?
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00:02:58,183 --> 00:03:01,373
$50,000 for a lousy play?
80
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,480
Oh. Which I found
delightful.
81
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,230
I'm still humming the tunes.
82
00:03:07,266 --> 00:03:09,426
$50,000 is
the kind of
change
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00:03:09,466 --> 00:03:11,196
she finds in her couch.
84
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:14,003
These are the Wentworths
that came over on theMayflower.
85
00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:16,000
How did they know
what to pack?
86
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,330
I mean, you're going
to a new world--
87
00:03:18,660 --> 00:03:21,250
is it hot, is it cold,
is it rainy?
88
00:03:21,283 --> 00:03:24,283
There are no brochures.
89
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They were pilgrims, Miss Fine.
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00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,430
They all wore the same thing.
91
00:03:27,466 --> 00:03:29,246
And that was a mistake.
92
00:03:29,283 --> 00:03:32,283
Very few people can wear
a big hat, a big collar,
93
00:03:32,316 --> 00:03:34,116
and a big buckle.
94
00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:37,120
Anyway, Maureen
and her daughter, Cynthia,
95
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,450
are very active
in the Cotillion Society,
96
00:03:39,483 --> 00:03:41,133
and I mentioned Maggie,
97
00:03:41,166 --> 00:03:43,276
and they've invited her
to be a junior deb.
98
00:03:43,316 --> 00:03:46,296
MAXWELL:
C.C., that's splendid!
99
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:48,303
What a nice opportunity
for Maggie.
100
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:50,203
Maggie? Oh, yes, of course.
101
00:03:50,233 --> 00:03:53,373
And it wouldn't hurt us
to cultivate some new old money.
102
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,370
Excuse me, but does anyone
care how I feel about this?
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I know I don't.
104
00:03:58,466 --> 00:04:00,176
Oh, you'll love it!
105
00:04:00,216 --> 00:04:01,416
I was a debutante.
106
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:04,220
It's the only way
to meet the right people,
107
00:04:04,250 --> 00:04:05,450
make the right connections,
108
00:04:05,483 --> 00:04:07,353
marry the right man.
109
00:04:07,383 --> 00:04:09,383
But you never got married.
110
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Good one.
111
00:04:15,233 --> 00:04:18,663
I don't want to be a deb.
112
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:20,220
But sweetheart, it might
help you come out of your shell.
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00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:21,480
I like my shell.
114
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,120
If you get real close
to Maggie,
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you can hear the ocean.
116
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,120
You know,
I agree with Miss Babcock.
117
00:04:29,150 --> 00:04:32,320
I know. It was an ugly
shock to me too.
118
00:04:34,283 --> 00:04:38,103
But, angel, I think it would be
a good opportunity for you.
119
00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:40,433
I don't care what you all think.
I don't want to do it!
120
00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:42,376
Kids.
121
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,096
I should have stayed in retail.
122
00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:46,833
I'll do it.
123
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:50,333
I mean, who does C.C.
think she is,
124
00:04:50,660 --> 00:04:51,420
butting into my social life?
125
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,470
What social life?
126
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,330
I just went to the movies
with Denise.
127
00:04:56,366 --> 00:04:59,146
Honey, she's the cleaning lady.
128
00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:02,320
You're 14 years old.
129
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:05,200
This house should be filled
with obnoxious teenagers,
130
00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:09,233
swapping sweaters
and trashing each other.
131
00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:11,216
I hate all those girls.
132
00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:13,180
They all go to my school.
133
00:05:13,216 --> 00:05:16,246
They're just so stuck-up
and snobby.
134
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,453
Popular?
Yeah.
135
00:05:18,483 --> 00:05:21,423
Oh, honey, you could
be just as popular.
136
00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:23,170
You're smart
and gorgeous,
137
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,170
plus you got
a double-A
width.
138
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,430
The world
is your
oyster.
139
00:05:27,466 --> 00:05:30,376
Skinny feet cannot get you
into this group.
140
00:05:30,416 --> 00:05:32,466
You don't know
what these cliques are like.
141
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,480
Oh, you think
they're any
different
142
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,380
from the Cosmetology Club
at Flushing High?
143
00:05:37,416 --> 00:05:41,246
True, we had better nails,
but all cliques are alike.
144
00:05:41,283 --> 00:05:43,253
You got your leader
of the pack--
145
00:05:43,283 --> 00:05:45,833
she's the prettiest,
the snobbiest,
146
00:05:45,116 --> 00:05:46,996
and everybody wants
to be her friend.
147
00:05:47,330 --> 00:05:48,500
That's Cindy.
148
00:05:48,830 --> 00:05:49,350
Forget her. She don't need you.
149
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,270
Find the low man on the totem
pole and make your move.
150
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,660
You see,
no one ever listens to her,
151
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:58,330
so she'll be grateful
and wide open for infiltration.
152
00:05:58,660 --> 00:05:59,280
How do I infiltrate?
153
00:05:59,316 --> 00:06:02,326
Choose from the
three
universal topics--
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00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:05,500
boys, clothes,
and Bobby Sherman.
155
00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:07,300
Bobby who?
156
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,333
Okay, Marky Mark,
157
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,400
but he doesn't have
half the talent of
Bobby.
158
00:06:11,433 --> 00:06:14,403
It also helps to unite
against a common enemy.
159
00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:16,483
A good choice would be
your gym teacher.
160
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,480
You make it sound
like a war.
161
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,130
It's worse. War is just hell.
This is high school.
162
00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:29,500
That's Bobby Sherman.
163
00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:30,220
What's that?
164
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,470
That's his hair.
165
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,270
Isn't he cute?
166
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,130
He's not really my type.
167
00:06:36,166 --> 00:06:41,096
I'm torn between Barney...
and Ted Koppel.
168
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:43,173
Yeah, but Bobby could sing.
169
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,270
You should hear his records.
170
00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:47,220
What's a record?
171
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:49,470
Oy... just bury me.
172
00:06:51,150 --> 00:06:54,120
That sweater you wore today
is just gorgeous.
173
00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:57,380
Sure. No wonder Jason Matthews
has a crush on you.
174
00:06:57,416 --> 00:07:01,096
Don't you think he looks
just like Marky Mark?
175
00:07:01,133 --> 00:07:03,423
The three universal topics
and sucking up...
176
00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:06,160
grand slam.
177
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,470
Can this be?
Our Maggie has a friend?
178
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,420
You live long enough,
you see everything.
179
00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:14,370
[DOORBELL RINGS]
180
00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:17,833
Where's Maxwell?
181
00:07:17,116 --> 00:07:19,366
Yes, I've been feeling
a little under the weather,
182
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,150
but I'm much better now.
183
00:07:21,183 --> 00:07:24,163
He wants these contracts
in London by morning.
184
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:25,270
Well, here, hop on.
185
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,470
With the time
difference,
you'll just make it.
186
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:35,833
Fran...I'm on the phone
with Cindy Wentworth.
187
00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:38,476
And she'd like to know
what to bring tomorrow.
188
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,270
I told her-- potato salad,
and not the German kind.
189
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,420
Niles, why is Miss
Fine
using the words
190
00:07:44,450 --> 00:07:47,350
"Wentworth" and
"potato salad" in
the same sentence?
191
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,373
Miss Margaret
and Miss Fine are hosting
192
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,270
a mother-daughter
debutante tea.
193
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:54,130
You're hosting a society tea?
194
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:56,146
Yeah.
I thought we'd do potluck.
195
00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:57,403
That always goes over big.
196
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,453
What?
197
00:07:58,483 --> 00:08:00,273
Meanwhile, with all their money,
198
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:03,130
go find someone
to bring an entrée.
199
00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:06,176
You're asking Maureen Wentworth
to bring her own food?
200
00:08:06,216 --> 00:08:07,446
Well, fair is fair.
201
00:08:07,483 --> 00:08:09,333
I mean, we're springing
202
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:10,180
for the make-your-own
sundae bar,
203
00:08:10,216 --> 00:08:11,426
the cosmetic
demonstration,
204
00:08:11,466 --> 00:08:13,316
and the gypsy
fortune-teller.
205
00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:15,473
Come on, kids.
206
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,350
Let's go wrap the gifts
for the grab bag.
207
00:08:17,383 --> 00:08:19,373
Miss Fine, a moment.
208
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,250
Does this mean
you're not leaving?
209
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:24,223
Sorry to disappoint you.
210
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:26,470
I'll bounce back.
211
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,330
Okay, kids,
start without me.
212
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:30,320
Oh, and Maggie...
213
00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:31,400
make sure you take
the best gift
214
00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:33,253
and wrap it
in aluminum foil.
215
00:08:33,283 --> 00:08:36,333
That way you can always
grab it for yourself.
216
00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:37,400
Always
the gracious
hostess.
217
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,423
Oh, you should've seen
my Sweet 16
218
00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:41,150
at Benny's Clam Bar.
219
00:08:41,183 --> 00:08:43,153
We took over
the whole half-shell room.
220
00:08:43,183 --> 00:08:45,333
I'm sure
it was the
highlight
221
00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:46,200
of the Flushing
social season.
222
00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:47,373
Nah.
223
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,480
That was the Astoria Boulevard
block party.
224
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,270
They had two of The Four Tops.
225
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:54,220
Miss Fine, my point is,
226
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:57,500
a society hostess
should have style, flair,
227
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,320
and a proper degree
of social sophistication.
228
00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:01,230
Yeah, so?
229
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:05,396
So you're grossly
underqualified.
230
00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:08,833
And yet still
Maggie's first choice.
231
00:09:08,450 --> 00:09:12,660
Miss Fine, this is not
a popularity contest.
232
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:14,250
And I won anyway.
233
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:17,350
I'll have you know
I have traveled
234
00:09:17,383 --> 00:09:19,283
in some pretty exclusive
circles.
235
00:09:19,316 --> 00:09:21,416
I sat at the captain's table
on the Carnival cruise,
236
00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:24,420
passed the A-1
to Kathie Lee.
237
00:09:24,450 --> 00:09:27,100
Miss Fine,
this is not
brunch
238
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,473
with Captain Stubing.
239
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,420
These women are
vicious, backstabbing,
judgmental harpies.
240
00:09:31,450 --> 00:09:34,320
I know.
They're my closest friends.
241
00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:36,500
Oh, you don't scare me.
242
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:39,500
I have sat in
on my mother's Mah Jongg group.
243
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:40,350
Ah.
244
00:09:40,383 --> 00:09:42,273
My fears are allayed.
245
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,400
Maggie's social future
246
00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:47,333
rests securely
in your capable hands.
247
00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:49,000
[LAUGHS]
248
00:09:51,283 --> 00:09:54,163
Well, at least her fears
are getting allayed.
249
00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,180
You know, I'm really
getting the hang
250
00:09:59,216 --> 00:10:00,426
of this baseball thing.
251
00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:02,246
I'm rather enjoying it,
actually.
252
00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:04,373
Don't toss the ball
in the house, sir.
253
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:08,130
Oh, Niles, don't be
such a stick-in-the-mud.
254
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:10,396
Go on, old man,
get out in the hall.
255
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:12,123
I'll burn one in.
256
00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:14,200
Dear God in heaven.
257
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,370
Right. Ready?
258
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,380
[CRASH]
259
00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:26,230
It was old.
260
00:10:26,266 --> 00:10:28,476
Ancient, actually.
261
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,120
Oh, well.
One less thing to dust.
262
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:34,370
Maybe I'll just
pay some bills.
263
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,660
Oh, and I was so hoping
264
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,100
we could toss
the frisbee
around.
265
00:10:39,366 --> 00:10:41,266
Who's Madam Aleska?
266
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:43,380
And why am I paying her $200?
267
00:10:43,416 --> 00:10:46,266
She's the fortune-teller
Miss Fine hired for the
party.
268
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,270
A fortune-teller
at a society tea?
269
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,250
Perhaps she can
read the leaves.
270
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:53,373
Oh, Niles, I'm beginning to have
second thoughts about this.
271
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,330
Can you really picture Miss Fine
272
00:10:55,366 --> 00:10:58,826
in a room full
of New York society matrons?
273
00:10:59,216 --> 00:11:01,196
Wouldn't miss it for the world.
274
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,300
You want to hear a good one?
275
00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:06,153
Miss Babcock was saying
276
00:11:06,183 --> 00:11:08,153
I'm going to stick out
like a sore thumb
277
00:11:08,183 --> 00:11:10,153
at tomorrow's tea party.
278
00:11:13,266 --> 00:11:17,276
Well, jump in anytime
with heartfelt reassurance.
279
00:11:17,316 --> 00:11:20,246
Don't worry, Miss Fine.
These ladies tend to be
a bit stuffy,
280
00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:22,223
but you'll be
a breath of fresh air.
281
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:25,330
A delightful...
novelty.
282
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,320
In other words,
a freak in the sideshow.
283
00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:32,100
Well, everybody
loves the circus.
284
00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:34,353
But I don't want
to embarrass Maggie.
285
00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:37,283
14 is a very vulnerable age.
286
00:11:37,316 --> 00:11:39,246
I remember when I was 14.
287
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,423
My mother came to pick me up
after school
288
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,400
in a halter top
and pedal pushers--
289
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:46,233
Oh! I'm still looking
for the right support group.
290
00:11:50,133 --> 00:11:51,323
All right, Miss Fine,
291
00:11:51,350 --> 00:11:54,130
let's suppose for a moment
we shared your concern.
292
00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:57,216
It's really too late
to cancel the party now.
293
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,300
Or is it?
294
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,303
Oh, no, don't. You can't cancel.
295
00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:02,133
Maggie is counting on it.
296
00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:05,276
Can't you just teach me
how to fit in?
297
00:12:05,316 --> 00:12:08,466
Come on, Niles.
You know all about
that fancy-schmancy stuff.
298
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,470
Yes. I'm very
proud
of my command
299
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,180
of both the fancy
and the schmancy.
300
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,150
So tell me--
301
00:12:15,183 --> 00:12:19,333
what is the difference
between me and those ladies?
302
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:21,000
I wouldn't know
where to begin.
303
00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:23,000
Her clothes.
Her hair.
304
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:25,500
Her voice.
Her laugh.
305
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,250
Boy, you came up with that
list pretty fast.
306
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,330
It would be
a monumental task.
307
00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:32,170
Impossible.
308
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,480
Oh, go for it.
309
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,220
I'm an empty canvas,
a blank slate,
310
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:39,450
an Etch-A-Sketch
right after you shake it.
311
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,100
All right,
you're on.
312
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:44,403
We have 24 hours
313
00:12:44,433 --> 00:12:46,153
to turn this breath
of fresh air
314
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:48,273
into a stale
pretentious snob.
315
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,480
In other words, Miss Babcock.
316
00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:54,126
By George, I think he's got it.
317
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,366
Round tones, Miss Fine.
318
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,330
How now, brown cow?
319
00:13:09,366 --> 00:13:13,496
How now, brown... oy.
320
00:13:16,183 --> 00:13:19,333
Enough with the marbles.
I've swallowed three
and passed two already.
321
00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:24,280
How now, brown cow?
322
00:13:24,316 --> 00:13:27,656
Not that there's gonna be
any cows at the party.
323
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:28,480
That's what you think.
324
00:13:30,150 --> 00:13:31,370
Party, Miss Fine.
325
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,400
Yes, let's try to capture
that elusive letter "R."
326
00:13:34,433 --> 00:13:37,663
What?
Your accent, it's so...
327
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:40,123
odd.
It's inescapable.
328
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:42,380
I don't see an "R"
coming out of your mouths.
329
00:13:42,416 --> 00:13:44,096
That's because
we're British.
330
00:13:44,133 --> 00:13:45,303
Yes, we can say
anything we like,
331
00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:47,423
and people think
it's Shakespeare.
332
00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:50,470
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
333
00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:56,500
All right. Repeat after me.
334
00:13:56,830 --> 00:13:59,380
Mark went on a lark after dark
in Central Park.
335
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:01,376
Gee, I hope he has a gun.
336
00:14:03,183 --> 00:14:05,833
Miss Fine, focus.
337
00:14:05,116 --> 00:14:08,496
All right, but the Kennedys
don't have an "R" between them.
338
00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:09,330
They pahk the cah
in the rivah,
339
00:14:09,366 --> 00:14:11,826
and get away with it.
340
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:16,146
No, no.
It's all wrong.
341
00:14:16,183 --> 00:14:19,123
I'll say. This book is
flattening my whole pouf.
342
00:14:20,116 --> 00:14:22,826
It's your hips,
Miss Fine.
343
00:14:22,116 --> 00:14:24,146
I've never had
any complaints before.
344
00:14:24,183 --> 00:14:27,833
It's the way they move
from side to side.
345
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,326
Well, I've never had
any complaints before.
346
00:14:31,183 --> 00:14:33,303
What's the matter?
These ladies don't have hips?
347
00:14:34,266 --> 00:14:35,466
Not really, no.
348
00:14:36,316 --> 00:14:38,196
And flat bums.
349
00:14:40,116 --> 00:14:41,346
But who's looking?
350
00:14:41,383 --> 00:14:43,133
Mm.
351
00:14:45,266 --> 00:14:48,096
Perhaps we should
move on to conversation,
sir.
352
00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:50,433
Oh, now, that's my area
of speciality.
353
00:14:50,466 --> 00:14:53,156
I am never at a loss for words.
354
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,180
There are several
topics
which are appropriate
355
00:14:55,216 --> 00:14:57,326
in any social setting--
356
00:14:57,660 --> 00:14:59,200
the weather, current events,
literature.
357
00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:01,383
I'll take literature for 100,
Alex.
358
00:15:01,416 --> 00:15:04,826
[LAUGHING]
359
00:15:04,116 --> 00:15:05,466
What, I shouldn't laugh?
360
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,170
If you must,
361
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,220
try a soft,
breathy
"a-ha ha ha ha".
362
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,450
A-ha ha ha ha.
363
00:15:11,483 --> 00:15:13,483
And close.
364
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:18,380
MAXWELL:
No. No. No. No.
365
00:15:18,416 --> 00:15:22,276
I can't believe
you're knocking my style.
366
00:15:22,316 --> 00:15:24,246
I'm known for my style,
367
00:15:24,283 --> 00:15:27,003
except for that brief
cornrow period
368
00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:29,200
after I saw10.
369
00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:32,353
Ah, what about
this beige
frock?
370
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,283
That's my dress bag.
371
00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:42,450
Two arm holes
and a string of pearls...
372
00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:45,320
Could work.
373
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:49,500
This is the fish knife,
374
00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:51,120
the steak knife,
the salad knife,
375
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,300
and the butter knife.
376
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:55,503
You know, one amazing Ginsu
could do it all.
377
00:15:56,150 --> 00:15:57,370
All right. Let's start again.
378
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:01,180
The salad course has arrived,
and you pick up your...
379
00:16:01,216 --> 00:16:03,276
Mm... the salad fork.
380
00:16:03,316 --> 00:16:04,476
And wrong again.
381
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,300
That is
your shrimp fork.
382
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:09,453
Well, I don't know about you,
but I'm getting shrimp salad.
383
00:16:09,483 --> 00:16:12,503
All right.
We've finished our meal.
384
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:13,130
What do we do now?
385
00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:15,826
If you're at my mother's house,
386
00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:17,656
you open your pants
and flop on the couch.
387
00:16:18,466 --> 00:16:20,316
Guess again.
[TAPS ON GLASS]
388
00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:22,250
Oh, yeah.
389
00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,500
Tart but refreshing.
390
00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:30,270
No, Miss Fine, that
is your finger bowl!
391
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:32,220
It's for washing
the fingers.
392
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:34,370
What, these people
can't afford Wet Naps?
393
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:43,400
[HARP MUSIC PLAYING]
394
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,420
Oh, God. This is worse
than an opening night.
395
00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:49,170
And the critics
here
are much tougher.
396
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,380
Well, whatever
happens, Niles,
397
00:16:50,416 --> 00:16:51,416
I've enjoyed
working with you.
398
00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:52,470
Same here, sir.
399
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,170
Somehow I feel
closer to you.
400
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,170
Well, let's not get
carried away, old man.
401
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,280
Sorry, sir.
402
00:16:59,233 --> 00:17:01,663
I say, old man,
we did it.
403
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,220
We did it!
We did it.
404
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:03,430
We said
that we would do
it.
405
00:17:03,466 --> 00:17:05,396
And indeed we did!
406
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:09,253
[ENUNCIATING CLEARLY]
Hello. How do you do?
407
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,370
How now, brown cow?
408
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:20,320
Maureen.
409
00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:22,470
C.C., how lovely to see you.
410
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,330
Kiss-kiss.
Hug-hug.
411
00:17:24,366 --> 00:17:27,096
Uh, tell me, who is
that lovely creature
412
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,103
on Maxwell's arm?
413
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:30,353
That's the nanny.
414
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,353
Oh. And yet,
what a stunning outfit.
415
00:17:33,383 --> 00:17:35,173
Thank you.
416
00:17:36,483 --> 00:17:39,223
Mrs. Wentworth,
I'd like you to meet
417
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,220
our hostess, Miss Fran Fine.
418
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,220
Charmed, I'm sure.
419
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,330
Look who discovered
the letter "R."
420
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,270
Please excuse me
for being tardy,
421
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:50,280
but I was on the phone
with my mother,
422
00:17:50,316 --> 00:17:53,656
and she can be such ayenter.
423
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,416
This is a great party, Maggie.
424
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,380
It's almost as much fun
as algebra.
425
00:17:57,416 --> 00:18:01,326
Look, guys,
it's gonna get better, really.
426
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:03,430
Fran has the whole party
all planned.
427
00:18:03,466 --> 00:18:06,446
What a lovely artifact.
Is it Mayan?
428
00:18:06,483 --> 00:18:08,473
No, it's his-an.
429
00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:12,130
Niles, mayday.
430
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,346
I'm on it, sir.
431
00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:16,123
Would you care
for a cucumber sandwich?
432
00:18:16,150 --> 00:18:18,500
Oh, thank you.
Don't these look yummy?
433
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:21,330
Please enjoy.
I've had the seeds
removed to avoid
gas.
434
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,380
Come. Let's meet
our other guests.
435
00:18:24,416 --> 00:18:26,496
Gas, Miss Fine?
436
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:28,200
I was just trying
to make conversation.
437
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,283
Indeed. Literature, the
weather, and the lively
arts
438
00:18:30,316 --> 00:18:31,996
are such narrow topics.
439
00:18:32,330 --> 00:18:34,130
One must invariably
turn to flatulence
440
00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:35,996
for inspiration.
441
00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:38,000
Would you like
to come up to my room
442
00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:39,100
and play
with my Gameboy?
443
00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:40,153
Eat dirt.
444
00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:41,283
Ooh-kay.
445
00:18:41,316 --> 00:18:45,426
Dead, my uncle was,
right there on the couch,
446
00:18:45,466 --> 00:18:48,416
only nobody noticed until
the seventh-inning stretch,
447
00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:50,330
when he did not.
448
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,660
Ah-ha ha ha ha.
449
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,420
And close.
450
00:18:57,466 --> 00:19:00,426
Fran, could I talk
to you for a
moment?
451
00:19:00,466 --> 00:19:04,156
If you'll excuse me,
we'll schmooze later.
452
00:19:06,466 --> 00:19:08,166
Fran, my friends are bored.
453
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,660
I thought you said we were gonna
have entertainment.
454
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:12,350
Well, we're gonna sing madrigals
with the harpist.
455
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:14,303
Is this classy or what?
456
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:15,403
No. It stinks.
457
00:19:15,433 --> 00:19:17,323
What?
458
00:19:17,350 --> 00:19:19,400
This is the worst party
I've ever been to!
459
00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:23,153
She obviously missed
my cousin Ira's bris.
460
00:19:28,830 --> 00:19:31,120
I take it in there
you weren't entirely thrilled
461
00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:32,330
with the party.
462
00:19:32,366 --> 00:19:35,656
What happened to the party
we planned?
463
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:37,300
Well, I thought
that this would be better--
464
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:38,423
you know, classier,
465
00:19:38,450 --> 00:19:40,320
more like
what you're used
to.
466
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:43,660
I'm used to sitting home alone.
467
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:46,250
All right, so after this party,
things should be back to normal.
468
00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:48,273
What have you done
to yourself?
469
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:51,660
That hair, that outfit?
470
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:54,000
And where did you get
that voice?
471
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:56,470
Well, I got a little from Niles,
a little from your father,
472
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,350
but mostly Mrs. Howell.
473
00:19:59,383 --> 00:20:01,273
What were you thinking?
474
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,330
Oh, I wasn't.
475
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:04,170
I listened
to Miss
Babcock.
476
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,280
Why, I don't know.
477
00:20:05,316 --> 00:20:06,476
Does she entertain?
478
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,330
In all the time
I've known the woman,
479
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:11,000
she's never
had me over once.
480
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:13,350
I can't believe
you dressed up like a geek
481
00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:14,483
and ruined my party.
482
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,330
Oy.
483
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:20,480
It's the nicest thing
anyone has ever done for me.
484
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,220
Aw, don't mention it...
485
00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:25,000
ever again.
486
00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:26,470
You know, you didn't
have to change.
487
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,400
Aren't you always
telling me to be myself?
488
00:20:29,433 --> 00:20:31,273
Sure, when you're you,
perfection,
489
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:32,420
you could be yourself,
490
00:20:32,450 --> 00:20:36,330
but when you're me,
a diamond in the rough--
491
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:38,350
Are you kidding?
I'd kill to be like you!
492
00:20:38,383 --> 00:20:39,403
Really?
493
00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:42,133
I'd kill to be like you.
494
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,203
So what do you say
we go throw a party
495
00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:46,473
that'll kill C.C.?
496
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,250
Oh, now you're
thinking
like a deb.
497
00:20:49,283 --> 00:20:52,153
Kiss-kiss.
Hug-hug.
498
00:20:53,216 --> 00:20:55,156
Come on,
take my hair
out.
499
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,380
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
500
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,170
Actually, my
people
came over
501
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,320
on theMayflower.
502
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:07,430
Oh, of course--
the collar, the buckle.
503
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:10,246
I didn't put it together
without the hat.
504
00:21:13,416 --> 00:21:15,346
We landed on Plymouth Rock.
505
00:21:15,383 --> 00:21:18,283
My family can be traced back
for 500 years.
506
00:21:18,316 --> 00:21:20,246
We landed on Ellis Island.
507
00:21:20,283 --> 00:21:22,663
They changed our names,
508
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:24,330
and now we don't know
who the hell we were.
509
00:21:28,216 --> 00:21:31,146
Okay. Who wants sprinkles?
510
00:21:31,183 --> 00:21:32,483
Your father
is really cute.
511
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,270
You know, they say
I look just like
him.
512
00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:37,000
They lied.
513
00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:40,330
You know, these
are just
delicious.
514
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:42,176
You like, huh?
515
00:21:42,216 --> 00:21:45,346
Marshmallow Rice Krispy treats,
always a big hit.
516
00:21:45,383 --> 00:21:47,403
Mm. You must give me the recipe
for Cook.
517
00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:50,173
Honey, buy the cereal.
It's right on the side panel.
518
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,320
What, you're gonna make me
write it down?
519
00:21:53,350 --> 00:21:56,150
Maxwell,
this woman is a
gem.
520
00:21:56,183 --> 00:22:00,163
Oh, Maureen, enough!
521
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:01,350
Fran tells me
you're
mounting
522
00:22:01,383 --> 00:22:03,503
a new musical.
523
00:22:03,830 --> 00:22:04,270
I want in.
524
00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:06,380
You think that you have room
for one more investor?
525
00:22:06,416 --> 00:22:08,996
For Mrs. Wentworth, anything,
526
00:22:09,330 --> 00:22:11,250
and I'm certain this
one's
gonna be a monster hit.
527
00:22:11,283 --> 00:22:14,833
I know. The
fortune-teller
told me.
528
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:17,180
I tell you
for the hundredth time.
529
00:22:17,216 --> 00:22:18,466
I see no tall, dark,
handsome--
530
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,420
nothing
in your future!
531
00:22:26,116 --> 00:22:28,496
This is a great
party,
Maggie.
532
00:22:28,830 --> 00:22:29,380
I hate to go home.
533
00:22:29,416 --> 00:22:32,326
What do you say
I give you a ride in the limo?
534
00:22:32,366 --> 00:22:34,446
Just me and you in the backseat?
535
00:22:36,283 --> 00:22:37,433
Okay.
536
00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:40,130
Oh, God!
537
00:22:43,416 --> 00:22:45,396
Fran?
Thanks for everything.
538
00:22:45,433 --> 00:22:47,383
Oh, angel.
539
00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:49,383
Hmm?
540
00:22:49,416 --> 00:22:52,326
I never doubted you
for a minute.
541
00:22:52,660 --> 00:22:53,400
I want you to pick first
from the grab bag.
542
00:22:53,433 --> 00:22:57,153
Me? Oh, I wasn't gonna pick.
543
00:22:57,183 --> 00:22:59,333
All right.
544
00:23:00,366 --> 00:23:03,276
Oh, I wonder what this could be.
545
00:23:05,330 --> 00:23:07,830
[MUSIC PLAYING]
546
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,330
[♪♪♪]
36747
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