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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,155 --> 00:00:02,554 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,557 --> 00:00:04,557 Oh, hey, Brenda. What brings you out tonight? 3 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:05,996 Just needed to get out of the house. 4 00:00:05,998 --> 00:00:07,117 I hear that. 5 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,902 Want some company? 6 00:00:08,905 --> 00:00:10,234 Sure. 7 00:00:10,237 --> 00:00:12,314 Then what if we go someplace else? 8 00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,794 What do you have in mind? 9 00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:16,103 Herschel does have the kids. 10 00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:20,018 - [pants] - You okay? 11 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,497 George? 12 00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:22,672 Hello? 13 00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:23,992 BRENDA: Mary, it's Brenda. 14 00:00:23,995 --> 00:00:25,195 George is in the hospital. 15 00:00:25,198 --> 00:00:26,265 What's going on? 16 00:00:26,268 --> 00:00:28,148 Paramedics think it might be his heart. 17 00:00:28,151 --> 00:00:31,506 All we did was have a nice time in a public place. Hmm? 18 00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:33,683 Now, is there anything wrong with that? 19 00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:35,000 Kind of feels like it. 20 00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:36,567 It does feel like it. 21 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,222 Why does it feel like it? 22 00:00:38,225 --> 00:00:40,341 [sighs] Maybe... 23 00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:44,044 'cause it was nice to talk to someone and feel special. 24 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,829 It was. 25 00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:51,312 ADULT SHELDON: Sundays were not my favorite day. 26 00:00:51,315 --> 00:00:53,359 In fact, the only light at the end of the tunnel was 27 00:00:53,362 --> 00:00:57,036 the wry musings of Andy Rooney at the end of 60 Minutes. 28 00:00:57,039 --> 00:00:59,970 Noise is sound you don't want to hear. 29 00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:04,312 And of course, one person's sound is another person's noise. 30 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:05,578 So wry. 31 00:01:05,581 --> 00:01:07,601 The rest of the day was filled with football, 32 00:01:07,604 --> 00:01:11,084 church and the only school I didn't enjoy attending, 33 00:01:11,087 --> 00:01:12,578 Sunday school. 34 00:01:12,581 --> 00:01:14,941 And then his mother put baby Moses in a basket 35 00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,552 and sent him down the river. 36 00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,032 Why? 37 00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,338 Maybe he was crying all night 38 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,079 and his mother and father needed a break. 39 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,543 And maybe his grandmother was in town to help out, 40 00:01:23,546 --> 00:01:26,312 but she went to bed early because she had jet lag 41 00:01:26,315 --> 00:01:28,968 after her flight from Dallas. 42 00:01:28,971 --> 00:01:30,492 She did it because Pharaoh ordered 43 00:01:30,495 --> 00:01:31,914 all the male babies to be killed. 44 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:34,004 - That's really in the Bible? - Yes. 45 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,335 And Mom won't let me read Judy Blume. 46 00:01:36,338 --> 00:01:38,906 Sheila the Great changed my life. 47 00:01:38,909 --> 00:01:40,468 JEFF: Back to Moses. 48 00:01:40,471 --> 00:01:42,242 He was found by Pharaoh's daughter 49 00:01:42,245 --> 00:01:44,406 and went on to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, 50 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:48,932 because even when you feel lost, God has a plan for us all. 51 00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:50,891 What was his plan for the male babies 52 00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:51,935 who didn't get rescued? 53 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,648 It's tough to say. 54 00:01:53,651 --> 00:01:55,764 There was a decree to throw them in the river. 55 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,245 Innocent babies? 56 00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,594 That is not cool. 57 00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:01,023 That was Pharaoh, that was not God. 58 00:02:01,026 --> 00:02:03,688 But according to you, it's all part of God's plan. 59 00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,907 How do you sleep at night? 60 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,778 Okay, we're gonna revisit getting me some help 61 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:09,953 with Sunday school. 62 00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,882 I am ready, willing, and... 63 00:02:11,885 --> 00:02:15,220 Nope. I want someone who can really connect with the kids. 64 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,700 But connecting with the kids is what I do. 65 00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:20,312 What planet are you on? 66 00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:24,490 I'm Miss Mary, and I'll be your Sunday school teacher. 67 00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:29,041 Oh, no, you won't. I will. 68 00:02:29,044 --> 00:02:32,019 Slithers, that is a lie. 69 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,978 And what's another name for a lie? 70 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:38,633 [hissing]: A s-s-sin. 71 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:42,603 Boy did that s-s-suck. 72 00:02:42,606 --> 00:02:44,606 Fine, what do you have in mind? 73 00:02:44,609 --> 00:02:46,337 It's time we hire a youth pastor. 74 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,963 Fresh blood. I like the sound of that. 75 00:02:48,966 --> 00:02:50,479 I already put in a call to my buddy 76 00:02:50,482 --> 00:02:51,955 at the Southern Baptist Convention. 77 00:02:51,958 --> 00:02:54,475 So, this isn't open for discussion? 78 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:55,650 It's already happening? 79 00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,739 As they say in the rec room Tuesday nights: 80 00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,174 "Bingo!" 81 00:02:59,177 --> 00:03:01,179 S-s-sorry. 82 00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:05,966 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 83 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:08,838 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 84 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,276 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 85 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:14,233 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 86 00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:20,830 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 87 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,203 ♪ 88 00:03:29,801 --> 00:03:31,105 Hey, Brenda. 89 00:03:31,108 --> 00:03:32,891 Oh, hey, Connie. 90 00:03:32,894 --> 00:03:34,416 Haven't seen you in a while. 91 00:03:34,419 --> 00:03:35,561 Yeah. 92 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:36,866 Sounds like you and George 93 00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,041 had a crazy night, huh? 94 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,914 What? No, we didn't. 95 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:43,221 He has a heart attack, and you get him to the hospital. 96 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,918 That wasn't crazy? 97 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,963 No. 98 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:50,080 Well, thank God you were with him. 99 00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:52,722 Well, I-I wouldn't say I was "with him." 100 00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:54,144 You weren't? 101 00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,451 I was there, and he was there, 102 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:59,367 and other people were there. 103 00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:00,549 Okay. 104 00:04:00,552 --> 00:04:01,767 - [chuckles] - You know, 105 00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:03,299 I'm just glad that he's doing better. 106 00:04:03,302 --> 00:04:04,868 Mm. Yeah. 107 00:04:06,181 --> 00:04:07,492 Well, it's good seeing you. 108 00:04:07,495 --> 00:04:08,496 You, too. 109 00:04:21,192 --> 00:04:24,193 You both liked it that day I taught Sunday school, right? 110 00:04:24,196 --> 00:04:25,361 Ugh, with the snake? 111 00:04:25,364 --> 00:04:26,463 I didn't like it, either. 112 00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,017 But I'm critical of most things. 113 00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:29,877 You aren't doing it again, are you? 114 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,357 No. We're hiring a youth pastor. 115 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,837 Why? 116 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,908 To help get young kids excited about God. 117 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,244 The same God who lets babies get thrown in rivers? 118 00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:43,019 - What? - We covered Moses in Sunday school. 119 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,181 Oh. 120 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:47,327 Well, that was Old Testament God. 121 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,650 He gets more fun later. 122 00:04:48,653 --> 00:04:50,374 Anyway, Pastor Jeff 123 00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:53,744 is hoping to bring in someone from the outside to help. 124 00:04:53,747 --> 00:04:56,530 Oh, and you're jealous 'cause you think you can do it better. 125 00:04:56,533 --> 00:04:57,822 No. 126 00:04:57,825 --> 00:05:00,767 I'm sure whoever we get will do a wonderful job. 127 00:05:00,770 --> 00:05:02,205 She's jealous. 128 00:05:02,208 --> 00:05:04,166 You know it's bad when I can see it. 129 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:08,627 What's up? 130 00:05:08,630 --> 00:05:10,698 My smoke detector's beeping again. 131 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,484 Have you got one of those little batteries? 132 00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:14,486 - I think so. Come on in. - Thank you. 133 00:05:14,489 --> 00:05:17,842 See, I'm three beeps away from breaking out my shotgun. 134 00:05:17,845 --> 00:05:20,535 [chuckles] I don't even put batteries in ours anymore. 135 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,711 - Do not tell Sheldon. - [chuckles] 136 00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:25,627 I saw Brenda at the grocery today. 137 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:26,933 Oh, yeah? 138 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,326 How's she doing? 139 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,478 I don't know. 140 00:05:29,481 --> 00:05:31,372 Something going on with her? 141 00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:32,697 What do you mean? 142 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,071 I was just talking about what happened to y'all at the bar, 143 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:37,335 and she kind of got weird. 144 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,095 Weird how? 145 00:05:39,098 --> 00:05:40,627 What'd she say? 146 00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:43,205 Well, it's not so much what she said. 147 00:05:43,208 --> 00:05:45,774 Just kind of a vibe I got. 148 00:05:45,777 --> 00:05:48,595 Well, maybe you made her uncomfortable. You do have 149 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,684 that effect on people. 150 00:05:49,687 --> 00:05:51,275 I didn't do anything. 151 00:05:51,278 --> 00:05:53,321 I was just being neighborly. 152 00:05:53,324 --> 00:05:55,107 Found it. Here we go. 153 00:05:55,110 --> 00:05:57,850 Hey, anything else? 154 00:05:57,853 --> 00:05:59,026 No. 155 00:05:59,029 --> 00:06:00,595 Well, see you. 156 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:04,186 See you. 157 00:06:07,079 --> 00:06:08,513 [phone rings] 158 00:06:08,516 --> 00:06:09,767 Hello? 159 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,158 What did you tell Connie? 160 00:06:11,161 --> 00:06:12,378 - What do you mean? - GEORGE SR.: She said 161 00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:13,598 she saw you at the grocery store, 162 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,686 and you were acting weird. 163 00:06:14,689 --> 00:06:16,417 She caught me off guard. 164 00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:19,389 She was asking questions about us hanging out at the bar. 165 00:06:19,392 --> 00:06:21,611 - [chuckles] What did you tell her? - Nothing. 166 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,869 Well, whatever you said's got her sniffing around me 167 00:06:23,872 --> 00:06:25,426 like a hound dog after a polecat. 168 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,314 A hound dog after a polecat? 169 00:06:27,317 --> 00:06:29,305 When I get nervous, I get extra country. 170 00:06:29,308 --> 00:06:31,960 - Did you get country in front of her? - No. 171 00:06:31,963 --> 00:06:34,431 - So you played it cool. - No. 172 00:06:34,434 --> 00:06:35,999 So, we got to get our stories straight. 173 00:06:36,002 --> 00:06:38,002 Now, wh-what did you tell her? 174 00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:39,918 I told her we weren't together. 175 00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,783 I was there, and you were there, 176 00:06:41,786 --> 00:06:43,269 and other people were there, too. 177 00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:44,689 That's good. That's good. 178 00:06:44,692 --> 00:06:46,315 So, what did you tell her? 179 00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:47,564 I was a little rude 180 00:06:47,567 --> 00:06:48,971 and rushed her out of the house. 181 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:51,147 Don't you do that all the time? 182 00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:53,587 Oh, yeah. Oh, I guess we're okay. 183 00:07:01,248 --> 00:07:03,267 I drew up a list of interview questions 184 00:07:03,270 --> 00:07:05,314 we can ask the pastors. 185 00:07:05,317 --> 00:07:07,685 [clicks tongue] But these are all softballs. 186 00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:09,209 Shouldn't we dig a little deeper? 187 00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:10,220 Are you kidding me? 188 00:07:10,223 --> 00:07:12,080 "Who's your favorite apostle and why" 189 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,866 is gonna have them squirming in their seat. 190 00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,788 Oh, please, there are 11 good answers and one bad one. 191 00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:18,871 Mary, if you're not here to help, 192 00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,220 I can do this on my own. 193 00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:22,265 I am here to help. I am just saying 194 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,964 that most people see this job as a stepping stone 195 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,095 to bigger and better oppor... 196 00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,639 This is Pastor Andy. 197 00:07:27,642 --> 00:07:29,621 - Hi, there. - Welcome. 198 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:32,928 Who is my favorite apostle and why? That is a toughie. 199 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,147 [Andy chuckles] 200 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:35,877 Although, I suppose any answer 201 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,445 other than Judas is safe. 202 00:07:37,448 --> 00:07:38,971 [Andy laughs] 203 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,548 So, where you from? 204 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,027 Originally Rhode Island. 205 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:47,116 And you're a Southern Baptist? 206 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,510 I guess I'm more of a Northern Baptist, 207 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:52,817 but we're all just Baptists, right? [chuckles] 208 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,123 I'll show him out. 209 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:58,998 So, how do you relate to young people? 210 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 Bad. 211 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:04,351 Which is what kids these days say when they mean "good." 212 00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:08,056 It's a Michael Jackson song. [chuckles softly] 213 00:08:08,059 --> 00:08:10,973 Here's another Michael Jackson song: beat it. 214 00:08:10,976 --> 00:08:12,463 - Peg. - Sorry. 215 00:08:12,466 --> 00:08:15,034 But she's right. Thank you for coming. 216 00:08:19,718 --> 00:08:21,010 Can I ask you a question? 217 00:08:21,013 --> 00:08:22,275 Mm. 218 00:08:22,278 --> 00:08:24,244 Do you have any women friends? 219 00:08:24,247 --> 00:08:25,551 Uh-oh. 220 00:08:25,554 --> 00:08:27,908 Mary finally wise up and kick you to the curb? 221 00:08:27,911 --> 00:08:29,041 I'm being serious. 222 00:08:29,044 --> 00:08:30,908 I have plenty of women friends. 223 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,477 Matter of fact, my best friend's a woman. 224 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,830 Are you gonna say your wife? 225 00:08:34,833 --> 00:08:36,035 You know I am. 226 00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,267 She got in the shower 227 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,455 with me this morning. 228 00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:39,718 I don't need to hear that. 229 00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:41,474 How could something be so clean 230 00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:43,478 and so dirty at the same time? 231 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,696 I'm sorry I asked. 232 00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:48,299 Are you upset 'cause I said she was my best friend 233 00:08:48,302 --> 00:08:49,736 and not you? 234 00:08:49,739 --> 00:08:50,912 No. 235 00:08:50,915 --> 00:08:52,017 You're in the top three. 236 00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:53,443 Stop talking to me. 237 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,535 Definitely my best white friend. 238 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,709 - [chuckles] - [chuckles] Okay. 239 00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:01,392 Who is your favorite apostle and why? 240 00:09:01,395 --> 00:09:03,384 Ooh. 241 00:09:03,387 --> 00:09:05,236 I'm-a say Judas. 242 00:09:05,239 --> 00:09:06,761 What? How? 243 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,937 Well, for man to be redeemed, 244 00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,896 our Lord had to die. 245 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:13,246 If Judas hadn't betrayed him, 246 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:15,727 mankind wouldn't have been saved. 247 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,424 Pretty cool. 248 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,666 [exhales] I never thought about it like that. 249 00:09:19,669 --> 00:09:22,170 Well, you know, when you come at things from unexpected angles, 250 00:09:22,173 --> 00:09:23,514 people pay attention more. 251 00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:25,385 It's what I hope to do with the kids. 252 00:09:25,388 --> 00:09:27,211 [chuckles]: Well, you got my attention. 253 00:09:27,214 --> 00:09:29,010 Hold on. I'm not sure 254 00:09:29,013 --> 00:09:33,005 that we should be teaching the kids that Judas was cool. 255 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:35,635 Well, I just try to see everyone the way Jesus would. 256 00:09:35,638 --> 00:09:36,705 Preach. 257 00:09:36,708 --> 00:09:38,619 No, no, that's your job. 258 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:42,994 Look, I just want to get the kids excited about church. 259 00:09:42,997 --> 00:09:45,111 Think of me as the warm-up band 260 00:09:45,114 --> 00:09:46,975 - before you hit the stage. - [Jeff chuckles] 261 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,064 I think we just found our new youth pastor. 262 00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,065 [Jeff chuckles] 263 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,284 Can we discuss this? 264 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:53,462 Of course. When can you start? 265 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,813 [screaming] 266 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:02,469 Why are you watching The Ten Commandments? 267 00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,885 - I've just been thinking about God. - Why? 268 00:10:04,888 --> 00:10:07,149 I don't understand how a God that's supposed to be good 269 00:10:07,152 --> 00:10:09,152 lets such bad things happen. 270 00:10:09,155 --> 00:10:10,850 Oh. 271 00:10:10,853 --> 00:10:13,424 Hmm. Can you think about it while I watch Yo! MTV Raps? 272 00:10:13,427 --> 00:10:14,950 - Sure. - Dope. 273 00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:19,588 ♪ Bust a move... ♪ 274 00:10:19,591 --> 00:10:21,415 Do you believe in God? 275 00:10:21,418 --> 00:10:23,041 - Yeah. - But in the Bible, 276 00:10:23,044 --> 00:10:24,728 he does all kinds of mean stuff. 277 00:10:24,731 --> 00:10:26,557 If he's good, why would he do that? 278 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,256 Maybe he just wants to show he's in charge. 279 00:10:29,259 --> 00:10:30,470 Hulk Hogan's nice, 280 00:10:30,473 --> 00:10:33,561 but in the ring, he will mess you up. 281 00:10:33,564 --> 00:10:36,565 That's either really smart or really stupid. 282 00:10:36,568 --> 00:10:38,263 That's what I do. 283 00:10:38,266 --> 00:10:40,788 Do you ever wonder if it's all made-up? 284 00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:42,838 Look, this is Texas. 285 00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:45,314 We like football. We like God. 286 00:10:45,317 --> 00:10:48,013 And beef. Beef's up there, too. 287 00:10:48,016 --> 00:10:50,211 But how do you know there's a God? 288 00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,502 See that girl dancing in them shorts? 289 00:10:52,505 --> 00:10:54,375 ♪ Hey, yeah... ♪ 290 00:10:54,378 --> 00:10:55,857 There's a God. 291 00:10:57,417 --> 00:10:59,373 Excuse me? Pastor Rob. 292 00:10:59,376 --> 00:11:00,635 [exhales] 293 00:11:00,638 --> 00:11:04,138 I'm sorry if I came off a little strong back there. 294 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:07,273 Oh. Hey, you're just trying to do what's best for the kids. 295 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,377 I respect that. 296 00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:10,595 Thank you. And I just want you to know 297 00:11:10,598 --> 00:11:13,104 that I am very well-connected with the parents, 298 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:15,585 so if I can be of any help there, 299 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:16,804 please let me know. 300 00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:18,635 Yeah, you know, actually, 301 00:11:18,638 --> 00:11:20,895 I try not to get too close to the parents. 302 00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:23,064 I-I just think it's important for the kids to feel 303 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:24,594 like I'm on their side. 304 00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:25,830 Okay. 305 00:11:25,833 --> 00:11:27,299 Ooh, maybe we could do a, uh, 306 00:11:27,302 --> 00:11:29,215 "good cop, bad cop" sort of thing. 307 00:11:29,218 --> 00:11:31,447 [chuckles] Why am I the bad cop? 308 00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,429 Oh, I don't have all the answers. 309 00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,822 Maybe you should ask God. 310 00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,957 Really looking forward to working with you. 311 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:40,306 [exhales] 312 00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:42,571 [engine starts] 313 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,575 [keyboard clacking] 314 00:11:47,265 --> 00:11:48,395 Got a minute? 315 00:11:48,398 --> 00:11:49,962 I'm kind of busy. I'm inventing 316 00:11:49,965 --> 00:11:52,478 a system of heraldry for two warring tribes of orcs 317 00:11:52,481 --> 00:11:53,828 in my D&D campaign. 318 00:11:53,831 --> 00:11:56,625 Oh. I was hoping we could talk about atheism. 319 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:59,020 Much like an orc, I'm all ears. 320 00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,947 What's it like to not believe in God? 321 00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:02,689 It's great. Big fan. 322 00:12:02,692 --> 00:12:04,460 Are you ever afraid you're wrong? 323 00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,375 About religion? Never. 324 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,769 About other things? Also never. 325 00:12:08,772 --> 00:12:10,440 I don't know. It seems a little scary 326 00:12:10,443 --> 00:12:11,666 to just stop believing. 327 00:12:11,669 --> 00:12:12,853 Well, is it more comforting 328 00:12:12,856 --> 00:12:14,379 to believe in a God who could flood the world 329 00:12:14,381 --> 00:12:16,558 and kill everyone because he had a bad day? 330 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,439 That's a good point. But doesn't it 331 00:12:18,442 --> 00:12:20,224 upset people when you say you don't believe? 332 00:12:20,227 --> 00:12:21,357 [chuckles]: Oh, yeah. 333 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:22,751 And that doesn't bother you? 334 00:12:22,754 --> 00:12:24,928 Does it bother you when you upset people? 335 00:12:24,931 --> 00:12:26,365 I couldn't care less. 336 00:12:26,368 --> 00:12:27,715 Welcome to atheism. 337 00:12:27,718 --> 00:12:30,371 Now, if you were an orc, would you like this flag? 338 00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,071 [country music playing] 339 00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,510 Hey, Connie. Usual? 340 00:12:35,513 --> 00:12:38,206 Yeah. 341 00:12:38,209 --> 00:12:39,948 ♪ Slow down... ♪ 342 00:12:39,951 --> 00:12:41,670 [chuckles] 343 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:44,674 I spend a lot of money here, right? 344 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:47,329 - [chuckles] - You sure do. 345 00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:49,157 So if my son-in-law 346 00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:51,899 was in here doing something stupid, 347 00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:55,033 I should know, right? 348 00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:56,197 I guess. 349 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,635 Before he went to the hospital, 350 00:12:58,638 --> 00:13:03,467 was he in here doing something stupid? 351 00:13:03,470 --> 00:13:05,514 Just hanging out. 352 00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:07,872 - Why? - No reason. 353 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,533 Just watching too many soap operas, I guess. 354 00:13:10,536 --> 00:13:12,006 [both chuckle] 355 00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:15,142 Let's just keep this between us, okay? 356 00:13:15,845 --> 00:13:17,192 Sure thing. 357 00:13:17,195 --> 00:13:19,369 - [phone rings] - Hello? 358 00:13:19,372 --> 00:13:21,361 Hey, George. It's Nick from the bar. 359 00:13:21,364 --> 00:13:24,939 Why the hell are you asking questions about me at the bar? 360 00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:27,056 I don't know what you're talking about. 361 00:13:27,059 --> 00:13:28,319 Nick told me everything. 362 00:13:28,322 --> 00:13:30,361 Well, clearly, I was lying. 363 00:13:36,064 --> 00:13:37,617 You want to accuse me of something, 364 00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:39,707 - say it to my face. - All right, fine. 365 00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:41,101 You have a fight with your wife, 366 00:13:41,104 --> 00:13:42,775 you end up in a bar with Brenda Sparks, 367 00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:45,033 and now you're both acting weird about it. 368 00:13:45,036 --> 00:13:46,601 There's no story. 369 00:13:46,604 --> 00:13:49,477 We're two people who went to the same bar. That's it. 370 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,611 That better be it. 371 00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,142 Connie, I get it. You're protecting 372 00:13:53,145 --> 00:13:54,188 your daughter, but hear me 373 00:13:54,191 --> 00:13:57,150 when I say nothing happened. 374 00:13:58,683 --> 00:14:00,334 Okay. 375 00:14:00,337 --> 00:14:03,010 And I don't appreciate you snooping around behind my back. 376 00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:04,830 You're absolutely right. 377 00:14:04,833 --> 00:14:07,268 I was wrong to do that. I'm very sorry. 378 00:14:07,271 --> 00:14:10,971 Little ticked at Nick for blabbing about it, but... 379 00:14:11,936 --> 00:14:13,936 I'm-I'm sorry. 380 00:14:13,939 --> 00:14:15,982 Thank you. 381 00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,942 We good? 382 00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,902 We're good. 383 00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,595 "We're good" my ass. 384 00:14:31,249 --> 00:14:32,986 All right, you two, get ready for bed. 385 00:14:32,989 --> 00:14:35,142 - Church in the morning. - I'm not going. 386 00:14:35,145 --> 00:14:36,612 What do you mean, you're not going? 387 00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,440 I don't think I believe in God anymore. 388 00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:39,845 What did you do to her? 389 00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:42,741 Hey, she came to me. I mean, I took the ball and ran with it. 390 00:14:42,744 --> 00:14:44,882 Look at you with a sports analogy. 391 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,058 We're both evolving. Ooh, evolution. 392 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,798 Another thing I'll teach you about. 393 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,670 I don't care what you believe. 394 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,345 You are going to church tomorrow. 395 00:14:52,348 --> 00:14:53,455 I don't want to. 396 00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:54,456 It might be fun. 397 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,342 - The new youth pastor's starting. - So? 398 00:14:56,345 --> 00:14:58,397 We can attack his belief system together. 399 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,375 Like the Wonder Twins of atheism. 400 00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,296 See? Your brother's excited. 401 00:15:02,299 --> 00:15:05,293 You just want the new guy to have a bad day. 402 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,033 I can want two things. 403 00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:09,783 [quiet chatter] 404 00:15:09,786 --> 00:15:11,350 Well, hey, y'all. 405 00:15:11,353 --> 00:15:13,223 I'm Pastor Rob. 406 00:15:13,226 --> 00:15:16,400 I'm, uh, guessing everyone knows what this is. 407 00:15:16,403 --> 00:15:18,697 - The Bible. - That's right. That's right. 408 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,178 What else is it? 409 00:15:20,181 --> 00:15:21,354 The word of God. 410 00:15:21,357 --> 00:15:23,806 Excellent. Excellent. 411 00:15:23,809 --> 00:15:25,767 You know what else it is? 412 00:15:31,377 --> 00:15:32,564 It's just a book. 413 00:15:32,567 --> 00:15:34,088 [whispers]: I like him. 414 00:15:34,091 --> 00:15:36,976 It's a good book. Got lot of great stories. 415 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,689 Instructions on how to live life. 416 00:15:38,692 --> 00:15:40,083 But... 417 00:15:40,086 --> 00:15:44,853 God is more than just a book. 418 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,041 God is real. 419 00:15:47,044 --> 00:15:49,127 God is everywhere. 420 00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:54,350 And God loves you. 421 00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:56,007 [whispers]: He's losing me. 422 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,447 It ain't pretty, but it's private. 423 00:16:00,450 --> 00:16:01,885 So, 424 00:16:01,888 --> 00:16:02,924 what's up? 425 00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:04,796 Now, don't freak out, 426 00:16:04,799 --> 00:16:07,353 but Connie was at the bar asking questions. 427 00:16:07,356 --> 00:16:08,353 What the hell? 428 00:16:08,356 --> 00:16:09,861 It's fine. I handled it. 429 00:16:09,864 --> 00:16:11,025 - [sighs] - We're all good. 430 00:16:11,028 --> 00:16:12,114 Well, I hope so. 431 00:16:12,117 --> 00:16:13,508 We are. 432 00:16:13,511 --> 00:16:15,377 But I think we probably shouldn't go to the bar 433 00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:16,771 at the same time for a while. 434 00:16:16,774 --> 00:16:18,924 Okay. You stay home. I'll go. 435 00:16:18,927 --> 00:16:20,885 Why me? That's where I hang out. 436 00:16:20,888 --> 00:16:22,252 I'm single. 437 00:16:22,255 --> 00:16:24,275 Who am I gonna meet sitting at home? 438 00:16:24,278 --> 00:16:27,801 I don't know. Mailman? Plumber? 439 00:16:27,804 --> 00:16:29,767 I've seen a movie where the pizza delivery boy 440 00:16:29,770 --> 00:16:32,466 does pretty well for himself. 441 00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:34,034 [both chuckle] 442 00:16:34,037 --> 00:16:37,275 Yeah, I bounced around from job to job after college. 443 00:16:37,278 --> 00:16:39,561 Never really had a plan for what was next 444 00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:44,213 until one day, I felt the Lord call me to his service. 445 00:16:44,216 --> 00:16:45,939 Yes, Missy Cooper. 446 00:16:45,942 --> 00:16:47,986 - Right? - How'd you know? 447 00:16:47,989 --> 00:16:50,528 Let's see, Mary's your mother, Sheldon's your brother, 448 00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:53,564 and I hear you are one heck of a pitcher. 449 00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:55,002 I do my homework, y'all. 450 00:16:55,005 --> 00:16:57,205 [whispers]: Homework. He's winning me back. 451 00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:58,580 So, what's on your mind, Missy? 452 00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:00,783 Is it okay that I'm wondering if God is real? 453 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:02,205 I can take this one. 454 00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:03,368 Yes. 455 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:06,275 He is absolutely right. 456 00:17:06,278 --> 00:17:08,377 - He is? - I usually am. 457 00:17:08,380 --> 00:17:11,599 Can't just believe something because people say it's true. 458 00:17:11,602 --> 00:17:13,378 You have to question it. 459 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:16,025 It's kind of like the, uh, the scientific method, 460 00:17:16,028 --> 00:17:17,157 right, Sheldon? 461 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,705 Did my homework on you, too. 462 00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:20,969 But what if I decide he's not real? 463 00:17:20,972 --> 00:17:24,431 Look, I'm not asking you to believe what I believe. 464 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:27,740 I'm just asking you to think about what you believe. 465 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,978 Sounds like you're already doing that. 466 00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:34,017 - Yep. - What do you know about me? 467 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,205 Hmm. Billy Sparks. 468 00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:37,642 Sixth grade. 469 00:17:37,645 --> 00:17:40,428 Also plays baseball, but maybe not as good as her. 470 00:17:40,431 --> 00:17:42,214 Whoa. 471 00:17:42,217 --> 00:17:43,978 And then Pastor Rob said it doesn't matter 472 00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:46,329 if I believe in God 'cause God believes in me. 473 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:48,071 I said the same thing. 474 00:17:48,074 --> 00:17:49,334 Not like he did. 475 00:17:49,337 --> 00:17:50,400 SHELDON: Well, I told him 476 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,517 religion isn't objective and there's no proof for it. 477 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,651 Oh, I bet he didn't like that. 478 00:17:54,654 --> 00:17:55,740 He loved it. 479 00:17:55,743 --> 00:17:57,308 He quoted Kierkegaard and said 480 00:17:57,311 --> 00:18:00,291 if you could prove it, there'd be no room for faith. 481 00:18:00,294 --> 00:18:02,947 Oh. Well, good for him. 482 00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,863 - He also likes homework. - Mm-hmm. 483 00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,995 MISSY: He even threw the Bible on the floor. 484 00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,674 - MARY: He what? - MISSY: You heard me. 485 00:18:12,995 --> 00:18:14,843 When you were married, would you have said 486 00:18:14,846 --> 00:18:16,672 that Herschel was your best friend? 487 00:18:16,675 --> 00:18:19,879 [scoffs] What married person would say that? 488 00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,185 My buddy Wayne. 489 00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:22,877 Does this buddy of yours have kids? 490 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,144 - No. - Then what the hell does he know? 491 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,452 He's a very happy guy. 492 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,193 It's exhausting. 493 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,447 [chuckles] Ooh, I should get going. 494 00:18:31,450 --> 00:18:32,665 Okay. 495 00:18:33,293 --> 00:18:35,154 You want to take a chicken for the smoker? 496 00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,955 Do I look like a vegetarian? 497 00:18:36,958 --> 00:18:38,635 - [both laugh] - BILLY: Mom? 498 00:18:38,638 --> 00:18:41,291 - You out here? - Um, I'll-I'll be there 499 00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:44,338 in a sec, honey. I'm-I'm just feeding the chickens. 500 00:18:44,341 --> 00:18:47,603 - You need some help? - No. I'm almost done. 501 00:18:47,606 --> 00:18:48,953 Okay. 502 00:18:50,892 --> 00:18:56,666 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 35159

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