All language subtitles for The Nanny s06 e11

All right now.

Oh, "What to expect
in your eighth month.

Indigestion, heartburn,
bloating,

flatulence, nasal congestion."

Oh, well, according to this,
my entire family is pregnant.

You know, the worst part
about your pregnancy is going
to be the mood swings.

-Oh.
-I can get very testy.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, I'll get it.
I'll get it, sweetie.
It's okay.

Oh, look who this is.

Aunt Freida.
What a surprise.

-Hi, Aunt Freida.
What are you doing here?
-Hi.

[kissing]

-I came by to drop off
your wedding present.
-Oh.

Since I was not invited
to your nuptials.

Or ensuing festivities.

Oh, Freida,
we sent you an invitation.

That said,
"You are invited to attend

but forbidden
to sing, Freida."

Well, Ma did want
to personalize
the invitations.

I knew it was all her doing.

She's jealous.

She's jealous
of my singing talent

and of my successful
business investments.

What business investments,
Freida?

You married a billionaire
who dropped dead
two days later.

All right, so a little luck
was involved.

The point is that Sylvia
has hurt me deeply.

Aw.

But I'm not gonna
take this out on you.

[sobbing] Oh, Frannie!

You! This SOB bought
our apartment building

and threw your father
and me out.

However, your mother
is going to pay!

You are horrible, Freida.

We are never gonna have you
up to our house again.

What house?

Your father and I are
practically homeless.

We have to sell everything.

Do you know anyone
who wants to buy
a 40-year-old couch

which, thanks to
plastic slipcovers,
is like brand-new.

Oh, Ma, Ma.

You're not gonna be homeless.

Me and Max will
take care of everything.

We figured that.

Morty!

Where do you want me
to put this?

Upstairs,
near the bay window.

♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell
make-up
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

Oh, Niles, how am I ever
going to tell Maxwell...

...that my parents
are staying here?

Quickly and
without the negligee.

Maybe I shouldn't
tell him at all.

How long do you think
it'll be before he notices?

Well, not long.
He'll see her here
for breakfast,

he'll see her here for lunch,
he'll see her here for dinner.

So I'm figuring
I got at least six months.

[scoffs]

Oh, darling,
don't you look beautiful.

Mmm, and that perfume.

Oh, I haven't smelled
that perfume

since the last time
you did something wrong.

What did you do?

Nothing.

Can't a wife just put
something on sexy
to entice her husband...

[mumbling]
...when her parents
are moving in?

-What, darling?
-I said, can't a wife

just say over and over again
how much she loves
her husband...

[mumbling]
...when her parents
are moving in?

What do you keep mumbling
into my neck?

[sighs] Okay, all right,
I'll tell you.

But while I'm telling you,

would you please,
just focus on the negligee.

Freida bought Mom and Dad's
building and threw them out
of their apartment.

Oh, darling, that's terrible.
Oh, I wish I had known.

Well, we have to help them.
What are they gonna do?

Oh, don't worry.
They already found
a new beautiful place to stay.

Well, that's good. Nearby?

Walking distance.

Do you use all your closets
in here?

No.

Focus on the negligee.

Well, I have to
call the agency.

None of these models
they submitted are right
for our poster.

You know, sir,

if you need an attractive,
photogenic man on camera,

-I can pass for--
-Hume Cronyn?

[laughs]

[clears throat] Niles,
thank you for your offer

but this poster really has
to sell our new show.

We need someone virile,
someone who exudes masculinity.

Oh, well,
then there's your man.

-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi, sweetheart.

Have you found your virile,
masculine model yet?

Not yet, no.
We shoot tomorrow.

Oh. Well, maybe Michael
will know someone.

Honey?

How you doing? What's up?

Margaret.

Maxwell, let me handle this.

You're hired.

The job pays $5000.

Sorry, Hume.

Well, I don't care.

All those models live
hand-to-mouth.

At least I have skills
to fall back on.

Morning, Ma.

Good morning, darling.

Oh, I'm so happy
that you're going to be here
all the time.

I forgot what it's like
living with my mommy.

Mmm.

Darling, don't you think
your rouge is
a little orangey.

I'm remembering.

What's the matter?

Sweetheart,
have you considered bangs?

Why?

They took 10 years
off your sister's face.

Ma, it was the eye lift
that took 10 years off.

The bangs just
covered up the scars.

So... [chuckling]
Have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?

Of course you are.

Otherwise, you would be up
at the crack of dawn

making blintzes
for your husband.

Little Miss Sleep Till 10:30.

So have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?

Darling, rush and bring these
to your husband.

Tell him you made them.

I don't need the credit.

Ma, you're doing
that thing again.

-What thing?
-You know, that thing
that caused me

to weigh 140 pounds
in fifth grade.

Darling, I don't mean
to criticize

but that man
that you married
is a prince.

You should wait on him
hand and foot.

He's a big step up
from anything we thought

you would wind up with.

Oh, good, more blintzes.

-They're delicious.
-Thank you, darling.

Fran made them.

What's the matter?
You look so tense.

Oh, no, I just got
a slight headache.
That's all.

Oy, let Mamala
take care of that.

No, really, it's fine.
Really, it's....

Ooh, that does feel good.

Oy, you have beautiful hair.

Morty had gorgeous hair
like this.

Till he lost it
at the Pirates of the Caribbean.

Whoosh!

Hey, Fran,
about your mother?

What? I said I was glad
she's here!

Yeah, I can see that.

Oh, your father was right.
Your father was right.

Oh, this was a big mistake.
I've already had three muffins,

a box of cereal,
and about 16 puddings,

and I've only been with her
20 minutes today.

Hey, Fran,
what does it mean
when your mother says

she likes your sweater
but on somebody else?

It means I gotta get her
out of this house.

You know, it'll be fine.

It's all for the best
because I'll be happy.

And you know what?
Your father will
be even happier.

Because he wants her out
even more than I do.

♪ Climb upon my knee
Sonny Boy ♪

♪ Though you're forty-three
Sonny Boy ♪

Honey?

Oh, where's Max?

Your mother took him to Sears
to have his portrait taken.

Boy, are they getting clingy.

You know, I didn't realize
when I married Max

that I was marrying
my whole family too.

You know,
I know Mr. Sheffield thinks
that I'm too old

for the poster
for his new show,

but perhaps
if he saw me in print.

This is your
high school photo.

I know, but I could
look like that again

if the lights were
in the perfect position.

Off?

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
I'm just lashing out.

It's Ma.
She has got to go.

Well, why don't you
just tell her that you think
it's time for her to leave?

How can I bust up
Harold and Maude?

I don't understand
what happened
all of a sudden.

Why is he so attached to her?

You met his mother.

You saw how
she paid him no attention
at the wedding.

-She wasn't even there.
-Hello.

Don't you see?
He's never been pampered before.

Do you know that
when he was a child
and cried,

his mother left him
out in the garden
until he stopped?

Oh, that's horrible.

Yes, and you wonder
why he clings to Sylvia.

The poor man is starved
for nurturing and affection.

And I can only go so far.

Oh, my poor Maxwell.

And here I was too lazy
to get out of bed

and make him a lousy blintz
this morning.

Well, that's all gonna change.

From here on in,
I am going to give him
everything

that he was deprived of
as a child.

Love, warmth, comfort.

But first, I'm gonna
make up for him
being bottle-fed.

Oh, God.

Did Niles die?

Honey, can't a wife
order some lunch
from a deli

and pretend she made it
for her husband
without a big to-do?

I'm just trying
to pamper your father.

Well, then why didn't you make
the food yourself?

Well, because I'm too young
to be a widow.

Oh, he is going
to be so excited

when I show up
at Michael's photo shoot

with this great
special picnic basket.

Fran, these blintzes
are delicious. You have
to give me the recipe.

Val, I already told you
that I'm pretending to make it.

Well, let me tell you
something, girl.

They taste real.

Niles, hurry up!
I'm ready to go
to Michael's photo shoot.

Sweetie, cut the price tag off
of this afghan
that I knitted your father.

Yo.

Niles, Michael was the one
that got the modeling job.

Yes, I know, but when
Carol Haney got sick
inThe Pajama Game,

Shirley MacLaine went on
in her place and became a star.

Yeah, you know,
it's trivia like that
that really works

against this whole
machismo thing
that you're going after.

All right. Thank you.

-Wish me luck.
-Good luck.

[door closes]

Come on then, people.
Let's see smiling.

Think fun, think passion.

Think paychecks.

You know,
Michael's working out
very well, Margaret.

I'm glad we hired him.

Yeah, but don't you think
he would look better
without those girls?

-Uh, which ones?
-All of them.

Oh, darling,
don't get jealous.

It's just work.

Fire them, Daddy.

When's lunch?

Darling, you just had an Altoid.
You can't eat again
until Tuesday.

Oh, Kaitlin,
how many times
do I have to tell you

I'm a married man?

I'll tell Kaitlin,
and then I'll kill her.

Oh, Fran, darling,
what are you doing here?

Oh, sweetie.

I just wanted to pop in

and see if you're okay
and tell you
how much I love you

and make sure
you're warm and comfortable.

Oh, that's very sweet
of you, darling,
but I'm really very busy.

Haven't had a chance to stop.

[sniffing] Do I smell
your mother's
kugel mit raisins?

Oh, now,
Ma's not the only one
that can cook.

I made this myself.

Now, come sit down
and let me pamper you.

-Mmm.
-Fran, why are
you doing this?

Because you were left out
in the garden.

Darling, I know that
makes sense in here,

but I'm out here.

Oh, sweetie,
I love you so much.

I just wanna fuss over you
like Ma does.

Yeah, but if
I wanted someone

to cook and clean
and fuss over me,
I'd have married Niles.

Oh, and you didn't think
this look worked for me.

Come. Come on, darling.
I have a lot of work
to do here,

so why don't
I just finish up
and you go home,

light some candles,
and get the Jacuzzi
ready for us, hmm?

Oh, sweetie, I'd love to,

but, you know,
Mom and Dad booked
the Jacuzzi for tonight.

What do you mean booked?

They made up a schedule.

Find that pretty irritating,
don't you?

No, no, I...

I enjoy having
your mother around.

She's a lot of fun.
She makes...

She makes-- Well, all right,
maybe your parents
do have a few quirks.

and sometimes I do find it
a little annoying that
I can't use my own Jacuzzi,

my own golf clubs,
my own limo.

-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-But...

You see, you want people
living in your house,

then you're not gonna
always get the stuff that
you want when you want it.

Remember when you wanted me
and Ma came walking in

withThe Godfather,
one, two and three?

Let's just say
for our own sake,

I agree with you,
there's nothing
we can do about it.

Freida kicked your mother out
and that's that.

Yeah.

Unless we could figure out
a way to get Freida
to sing at our wedding.

What?

Honey, you know that camcorder
that we keep in our bedroom?

-Yeah.
-Well, I just figured out

a whole new way to use it.

Love you.

-Did you okay this concept?
-Hmm?

[doorbell rings]

Hurry up, Ma!

The Good Humor man is here.

I want toasted almond.

That's not Ricky,
that's Freida.

Oops! My mistake.

-Syl.
-Free.

Oh, well, this is off
to a good start.

We're on half-name basis.

Ma, we were very insensitive

to Aunt Freida's feelings
when we told her

-that she couldn't sing
at the wedding.
-I was very hurt.

And I'm not talking to you.

You know I have
that exact skirt
in blue.

They make it in blue?

Well, teal,
but mine has
Western stitching.

Ah. I don't look too good
in thatHee-Haw look.

No, you could carry it.

This is how
you say "I'm sorry"
in Jewish.

I'm still not talking to her.

But if you see one in teal,
pick me up one.

All right.

Since Freida wasn't
at the wedding,
I thought it would be nice

if we all watched
the wedding video together.

Honey, why don't
you turn it on
and we'll see it.

["Bridal Chorus" playing]

She looks so beautiful.

[blowing nose]

What the hell is this?

That's your ticket home, Ma.

["Hava Nagila" playing]

[rhythmic clapping]

[singing in Hebrew]

Listen, I don't wanna say
anything,

but could this chicken
be drier?

I'll take the dry chicken
over the fishy salmon.

Mmm. Mmm.

I don't know about you, girls,
but my sea bass is delicious!

[laughing]

"Hey, why doesn't
Aunt Freida sing? She's
better than Lisa Minnelli."

-Liza. Liza Minnelli.
-Liza Minnelli.

[Fran as Sylvia]
I'll have you know,

Freida's the best singer
in the world

and anyone who disagrees
can settle it with me!

Oh, I have a little request
from my darling Sylvala

who's always been
like an older sister to me.

Hit it.

[playing piano]

♪ I remember you ♪

♪ You're the one who made
My dreams come true ♪

♪ A few kisses ago ♪

♪ I remember too
A distant bell ♪

♪ And stars
That fell like rain ♪

♪Out of the blue

♪When my life is through

♪ And the angels
Ask me to recall ♪

♪ Oh, the thrill of it all ♪

♪ Then I shall tell them ♪

♪ I remember ♪

♪ You ♪

[people applauding]

Thank you.

[sobbing]

-My God, Freida,
that was beautiful.
-Thank you.

Unfortunately,
you can't stop after one number.

There's a Gershwin medley,
a salute to Kander and Ebb--

Oh, Ma, would you just say
"I'm sorry" to Freida?

Does the teal skirt come
with a matching jacket?

I think so,
but I can't promise
that it has Western stitching.

Well, darling, you know,
I have to admit,
I'm gonna miss your mother

when she leaves.

♪Climb upstairs with me
Sonny Boy

♪The Jacuzzi's finally free
Sonny Boy

Love, warmth, comfort.

But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being breast-fed.

Love, warmth, support.

But first I'm gonna make up
for him being breast--

[laughing]

Love, warmth, comfort.

But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being bottle-fed.

[screaming excitedly]

[theme music ends]