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1
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,460
She had a letter, then?
2
00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,860
Postcard.
3
00:00:51,860 --> 00:00:57,080
Postcard - ah, that'll be from
Bridlington. Tenerife. Tenerife?
4
00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:01,660
Ah, well, it must be NEAR
Bridlington. Canary Islands!
5
00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:03,860
Canary Islands?
6
00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:09,140
Ah! That'll be in THAT direction,
past Whitby. Spain.
7
00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:13,140
Spain? She don't know anybody
in Spain.
8
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:17,000
She's getting postcards from Spain.
From who?
9
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:23,700
I don't go gossiping
about other people's mail. Ah! That will be from their Kathryn.
10
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:28,600
Somebody called Gladwyn. Gladwyn?
Does she know a Gladwyn?
11
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:36,380
She got a postcard from him. I hope
he's having a good time(!) He is. Weather's good, food's brilliant.
12
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:38,940
Canary Islands...?
13
00:01:38,940 --> 00:01:41,200
Gladwyn?
14
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:57,560
What do you want? I want
to give thee some advice. Advice?
15
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:03,440
Forget canaries...
stick with ferrets.
16
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,040
Psst!
17
00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:21,140
The former Mrs Truelove used
to do that. I just wanted a word.
18
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:25,960
She wanted to give me a coronary.
(Will you do me a favour?)
19
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,080
You mean like - drop dead?
20
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:33,300
You're not in the pay
of the former Mrs Truelove?
21
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:36,300
No. Of course you could be lying.
22
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:39,820
I just wondered, if Pearl asks,
23
00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:44,440
would you tell her
that you're my security adviser?
24
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:50,720
You're spot on, Howard.
They don't come any more secure than Truly of the Yard.
25
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,540
Out of the way, lad!
26
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,660
Ohh!
27
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:09,140
That is MARVELLOUS, Mr Pegden!
28
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:11,820
That is WONDERFUL!
29
00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,160
That is BRILLIANT!
30
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,680
How would you like to road-test it,
lad? That is...
31
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,480
How would you like to road-test it,
lad? That is...dangerous.
32
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:24,540
It's an off-road vehicle. We'll
take it out in the countryside.
33
00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:32,040
But why does it need anybody on it
if it's radio-controlled? In case something goes wrong, lad. Wrong?!
34
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,060
I wish you wouldn't say "wrong".
With the controls.
35
00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:40,940
It's still in its infancy.
If the radio control goes wrong,
36
00:03:40,940 --> 00:03:45,440
you can take over and bring
the machine to a safe halt.
37
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:50,440
Just think, lad. You'll be
the very first to ride this!
38
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:53,160
Aye, I'm thinking.
39
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,280
I'm thinking.
40
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,800
It's amazing how your fame spreads.
41
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,280
Even Howard's heard.
42
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,880
This carpet's getting a bit worn
near the door.
43
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:18,740
Howard's a shrewder judge
of character than I thought.
44
00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:26,760
At first glance you'd never believe
he'd be so discriminating about his choice of security adviser.
45
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,360
Nora Batty's getting postcards
from the Canaries.
46
00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:41,320
I suppose
I could put a rug over it.
47
00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,120
Name of Gladwyn.
48
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,280
A canary called Gladwyn?
49
00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:54,780
He's NOT a canary! Cor!
50
00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:57,360
Oh, that's bad, then.
51
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,960
He's probably Welsh.
52
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:03,600
Why's she going out
with a Welsh bloke?
53
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:09,100
They're probably easier to feed than
a canary. They sing just as well.
54
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:12,760
I bet that's what's done it!
55
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:18,800
He's been singing at her and she's
fell for it! I've got some ground to make up here.
56
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,280
Well, I wouldn't sing.
57
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:26,280
What else am I going to do?
I don't know. Try anything.
58
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:29,500
Emigration, suicide...
59
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,300
but, please, NOT singing.
60
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,880
I know what I'll do.
61
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,960
I'll put a rug over it.
62
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,000
I've got to do summat.
63
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:46,400
With Nora Batty?
Clegg says put a rug over it.
64
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:08,860
I warned him.
You'll remember I warned him.
65
00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:12,840
I think he's desperate.
He feels he HAS to try.
66
00:06:18,140 --> 00:06:20,560
NORAA-AA!
67
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,480
Is a face in the misty night!
68
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:30,400
A face that I so want to see
69
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:36,200
My heart is filled
with such delight
70
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:42,860
Just like a plate
of mus-hy peas...
71
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,440
Maybe she didn't like the song.
72
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,380
Hello, love.
73
00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:28,280
You're home early.
Let's hope YOU are.
74
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,100
Who are you today, then? Action Man?
75
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:36,520
I'm just off to test meself
against the wilderness.
76
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:43,540
Did you finish that second bedroom?
Well, yes. I thought, I'll just finish this second bedroom,
77
00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:50,000
then I'll go and test meself
against the wilderness. Suppose it wins? Ah, well...
78
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,860
I'm being trained by an expert.
79
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:57,740
Truly of the Yard
has kindly agreed to be my adviser.
80
00:07:57,740 --> 00:08:04,500
It takes one to know one.
He suggested I should get used to living off the land.
81
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:10,200
Living off the land? You've got to
when you're in the wilderness.
82
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:15,680
Oh, I see. How long do you intend to
be out there, "living off the land"?
83
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:19,020
Well, I thought maybe until about...
84
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,860
teatime.
85
00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:26,580
I see. Do you think you'll be able
to manage till teatime?
86
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:31,720
Oh, yes, love. I've got
a few biscuits and a sandwich.
87
00:08:38,826 --> 00:08:42,846
This is a critical time
for me and Nora.
88
00:08:42,846 --> 00:08:45,766
I'm getting there bit by bit.
89
00:08:45,766 --> 00:08:49,806
One final push...
and she is mine!
90
00:08:49,806 --> 00:08:54,386
What do you mean, getting there?
She threw water on you.
91
00:08:54,386 --> 00:08:59,146
Maybe she likes me wet.
Maybe it shows off my figure.
92
00:08:59,146 --> 00:09:03,166
In those trousers
you show your figure off enough!
93
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:07,346
Maybe this Gladwyn
has better trousers for singing in.
94
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:12,306
Tha's probably right. Maybe
his trousers are a sturdy baritone,
95
00:09:12,306 --> 00:09:16,306
whereas yours
are a sort of flimsy falsetto.
96
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:19,426
What it is, is you lack glamour.
97
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:23,306
Give over! I'm number one glamour!
98
00:09:23,306 --> 00:09:27,366
I'm notorious for it!
Men lock up their wives!
99
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:34,666
Yes, I used to feel the same impulse.
No, what you lack is the prestige and glamour of a uniform.
100
00:09:34,666 --> 00:09:39,786
If she's going to throw water,
I should get a frogman's uniform.
101
00:09:39,786 --> 00:09:44,806
I don't need a uniform
to pull the birds. It would help...
102
00:09:44,806 --> 00:09:49,286
especially now
there's a canary called Gladwyn.
103
00:09:58,426 --> 00:10:01,906
SNORES
104
00:10:01,906 --> 00:10:04,526
An intrepid airman.
105
00:10:05,586 --> 00:10:07,386
Uhh?
106
00:10:07,386 --> 00:10:10,066
You know, that's JUST what you need.
107
00:10:12,066 --> 00:10:15,146
I'm for display purposes only.
108
00:10:15,146 --> 00:10:21,286
The outfit!
Maybe we could come to some arrangement with Auntie Wainwright.
109
00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:24,806
Just as long
as I don't buy anything.
110
00:10:24,806 --> 00:10:29,846
I've sworn a solemn oath NEVER
to buy anything. I heard that.
111
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:32,306
I accept the challenge.
112
00:10:32,306 --> 00:10:36,846
Actually, madam, we are considering
offering you a deal.
113
00:10:36,846 --> 00:10:41,886
It's getting better all the time!
A deal a day keeps the doctor away.
114
00:10:41,886 --> 00:10:44,526
I thought that was an apple!
115
00:10:44,526 --> 00:10:50,326
Yes, it is. And very lifelike, too.
Good quality. Shall I wrap it?
116
00:10:50,326 --> 00:10:54,046
No!
Why would he want a brass apple?
117
00:10:54,046 --> 00:10:56,566
They make wonderful paperweights.
118
00:10:56,566 --> 00:10:59,206
Why would he want a paperweight?
119
00:10:59,206 --> 00:11:04,506
I wish you'd stop being so negative
about his brass apple. MY apple?!
120
00:11:04,506 --> 00:11:06,726
He admits it!
121
00:11:08,006 --> 00:11:12,506
Your airman here -
he doesn't look the part.
122
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,206
He looks more like a furtive felon.
123
00:11:17,086 --> 00:11:19,806
Doesn't look right?
124
00:11:20,886 --> 00:11:22,846
Get up.
125
00:11:27,826 --> 00:11:32,826
He lacks any high-altitude
macho bezazz and whammy.
126
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:36,366
He lacks it at low altitude, too.
127
00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:41,426
YOU wouldn't look right if you'd
been wearing a parachute for hours.
128
00:11:41,426 --> 00:11:43,846
It's not the parachute,
it's the face.
129
00:11:45,146 --> 00:11:48,106
It's definitely the face.
130
00:11:48,106 --> 00:11:52,246
Mother always said
it were a good face.
131
00:11:52,246 --> 00:11:58,866
This lady needs
something more adventurous. Or just a willingness to spend.
132
00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:03,866
He doesn't look like
the determined-to-fly boy.
133
00:12:03,866 --> 00:12:08,926
I can't see him pressing on
regardless through heavy flak.
134
00:12:08,926 --> 00:12:11,466
Whereas Ace here...
135
00:12:11,466 --> 00:12:15,166
would look the part.
HIM? ME?!
136
00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:21,566
Ace would wear this uniform
and cruise around town. Set people talking.
137
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:24,106
In that rig I certainly would!
138
00:12:24,106 --> 00:12:29,546
Can we leave now?
I can feel another sale coming on.
139
00:12:29,546 --> 00:12:36,186
A walking advertisement for you.
WITH the parachute? Definitely WITH the parachute.
140
00:12:39,286 --> 00:12:42,326
Best of luck.
It gets between your legs.
141
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:45,866
And you've got more legs
than most people.
142
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:50,026
They only just reach the floor
like anyone else's.
143
00:12:55,726 --> 00:12:59,946
You don't need to hang on
the handlebars, Barry.
144
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:03,986
I'LL do the driving,
you just take over in emergency.
145
00:13:03,986 --> 00:13:07,866
Why are you using words like
"emergency"?
146
00:13:07,866 --> 00:13:13,946
Nothing dangerous.
Just technical problems. How fast will we be going?
147
00:13:13,946 --> 00:13:20,046
Oh, very slow. These are just
first tests. Very slow. Or maybe even slower?
148
00:13:20,046 --> 00:13:25,006
Just fold your arms, Barry.
Leave the driving to me.
149
00:13:25,006 --> 00:13:29,226
BIKE REVS LOUDLY
Are you ready, lad?
150
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:33,266
If I get hurt,
your daughter will kill you.
151
00:13:33,266 --> 00:13:37,086
I'd hate to be causing trouble
in the family.
152
00:13:37,086 --> 00:13:44,306
Barry, we're going to take
a steady amble round this field. We're NOT doing Starship Enterprise.
153
00:13:44,306 --> 00:13:49,046
Here we go, then, lad.
Sit back and enjoy it.
154
00:14:08,686 --> 00:14:10,686
Great!
155
00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:27,926
If we're going out
into the wilderness, Howard, what are we doing in the park?
156
00:14:27,926 --> 00:14:30,446
It's just for training purposes.
157
00:14:30,446 --> 00:14:35,506
You've brought me into the park
for training purposes? Yes, love.
158
00:14:35,506 --> 00:14:39,826
I wanted to do the bushes test.
The bushes test?
159
00:14:39,826 --> 00:14:44,906
That sounds interesting, Howard.
I want to test you in the bushes.
160
00:14:44,906 --> 00:14:49,606
Ooh! You certainly know
how to set a girl's heart racing!
161
00:14:49,606 --> 00:14:54,406
Let me explain to you what
I want you to do. I can't wait!
162
00:14:54,406 --> 00:14:58,566
I want you to go and stand
in the bushes
163
00:14:58,566 --> 00:15:03,626
and then I'll...I'll walk
way over there. Wait a minute.
164
00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:09,246
I'm in the bushes
and you're way over there?
165
00:15:09,246 --> 00:15:16,766
I'll be checking to see if you've
blended in with the background. Checking from way over there? Yes.
166
00:15:16,766 --> 00:15:20,306
And that's the bushes test?
Yes, love.
167
00:15:20,306 --> 00:15:23,626
And they think going astray is easy.
168
00:15:29,126 --> 00:15:34,226
All the grace of the former Mrs
Truelove. It's all right for thee!
169
00:15:34,226 --> 00:15:39,326
Tha's got two legs with space in
between. Very useful on a bicycle.
170
00:15:39,326 --> 00:15:42,026
Slow down! I can't go on!
171
00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:46,866
You grab his other arm, Clegg.
I'll give him a pull. Come on.
172
00:15:50,246 --> 00:15:54,266
Does it bite?
What do you feed it on? Bananas?
173
00:15:54,266 --> 00:15:56,646
Grrr! Agh! Meat-eater!
174
00:16:01,146 --> 00:16:04,006
QUAD BIKE ROARS
175
00:16:07,786 --> 00:16:12,746
Catch it, Barry! Don't let it
get away from you, lad!
176
00:16:17,746 --> 00:16:22,286
There are comings and goings
at that house at all hours.
177
00:16:22,286 --> 00:16:27,506
Her security lights are on and off
so fast you'd think it was a disco!
178
00:16:27,506 --> 00:16:35,026
She works a couple of hours at Oxfam
and thinks it entitles her to do as she pleases for the rest of the week.
179
00:16:35,026 --> 00:16:42,066
She's no better than she ought to be.
I don't care how many Third World stickers she's got on her windscreen.
180
00:16:42,066 --> 00:16:47,866
And the colour of her hair -
it looks like a badly-dyed rug.
181
00:16:47,866 --> 00:16:49,906
I know...
182
00:16:49,906 --> 00:16:51,886
it's terrible!
183
00:16:55,966 --> 00:17:00,006
Nora's in there
having a cup of tea with Ivy.
184
00:17:00,006 --> 00:17:05,106
All you have to do is go in there,
swagger past her and impress her.
185
00:17:05,106 --> 00:17:09,086
Swagger?! I'm walking like a duck
with a problem!
186
00:17:09,086 --> 00:17:12,166
You've got room for a tail gunner.
187
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:17,226
It doesn't matter how you WALK.
All she'll notice is the glamour.
188
00:17:18,266 --> 00:17:20,666
What do you think, Norm?
189
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:26,686
Like the rest of us, she'll be
impressed by the sheer stupidity. I hope so.
190
00:17:26,686 --> 00:17:29,526
Off you go, then, intrepid airman.
191
00:17:33,266 --> 00:17:38,706
What'll I say? Ask her
if she wants to buy a brass apple.
192
00:17:38,706 --> 00:17:43,166
Tell her to look after your ferrets
if anything happens.
193
00:17:44,266 --> 00:17:50,246
Happens? What can happen, except I
cripple myself with this parachute?
194
00:17:50,246 --> 00:17:54,286
It's like having a pool table
between tha legs!
195
00:17:54,286 --> 00:17:59,486
If anything happens to YOU on this
dangerous flight you're going on.
196
00:17:59,486 --> 00:18:02,906
Ah ha! Dangerous flight!
197
00:18:02,906 --> 00:18:06,506
Heroics, roger and out, dingo!
198
00:18:18,826 --> 00:18:24,806
Oh, good grief!
It's the Red Arrows! What's he dressed like that for?
199
00:18:24,806 --> 00:18:29,846
For protection, madam. Against
the high winds at high altitudes.
200
00:18:29,846 --> 00:18:33,746
So that he can perform all his
functions at temperatures minus zero.
201
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,946
Or even minuser!
202
00:18:36,946 --> 00:18:40,926
But he's very brave.
He seldom complains.
203
00:18:40,926 --> 00:18:43,546
At least you can't see any holes.
204
00:18:43,546 --> 00:18:49,266
It makes a change to be able
to look at him with both eyes open in confidence.
205
00:18:49,266 --> 00:18:53,786
You see? Progress already.
I'm doing well, Norm.
206
00:18:53,786 --> 00:18:56,186
Brylcreem boy!
207
00:18:56,186 --> 00:19:02,166
Three teas, please, Ivy.
He's got time for a cuppa before he goes off.
208
00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:04,946
With a bang, I hope!
209
00:19:04,946 --> 00:19:10,926
I have. I've just got time.
You're not worried about air sickness, then?
210
00:19:10,926 --> 00:19:14,386
Oh, no, Norm. I'll fight against it.
211
00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:16,926
(Is she looking at me?)
212
00:19:16,926 --> 00:19:19,486
Oh, she's looking at you, kid!
213
00:19:20,646 --> 00:19:24,686
He's getting dafter.
What's he doing in overalls?
214
00:19:24,686 --> 00:19:27,726
He's not going to work finally,
is he?
215
00:19:27,726 --> 00:19:33,006
Overalls? Flying suit, madam.
Intrepid airman, for the use of.
216
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:37,086
HE can't fly a plane!
He's a mechanical idiot.
217
00:19:37,086 --> 00:19:39,826
You see? More progress.
218
00:19:39,826 --> 00:19:43,846
That's the first time
she's ever called you mechanical.
219
00:19:43,846 --> 00:19:47,446
What does tha think?
It's time you bailed out.
220
00:19:47,446 --> 00:19:54,026
If he's got to fly by the seat
of his pants, he's in trouble. He hasn't much seat left.
221
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,966
He can't fly a plane!
He's often unsteady on his bicycle!
222
00:20:01,966 --> 00:20:07,186
It's not working, is it? It's not
working. Relax, little aviator!
223
00:20:07,186 --> 00:20:10,406
Give it time. Come on, sit down.
224
00:20:12,766 --> 00:20:14,746
Agh!
225
00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:17,746
He can't fly a chair,
226
00:20:17,746 --> 00:20:20,206
never mind a plane!
227
00:20:23,966 --> 00:20:26,926
They go far too fast up this hill.
228
00:20:27,966 --> 00:20:30,006
Hey, listen...
229
00:20:30,006 --> 00:20:32,406
Here's one now.
230
00:20:32,406 --> 00:20:37,406
He's going quite a bit.
We'll have this one. Don't let him get past.
231
00:20:37,406 --> 00:20:39,926
Nothing's going to get past!
232
00:20:39,926 --> 00:20:43,106
THROATY ROARING APPROACHES
233
00:21:12,326 --> 00:21:17,886
I telled thee she'd never believe
it. She knows I can't fly a plane.
234
00:21:17,886 --> 00:21:20,686
Say you've been to night school.
235
00:21:20,686 --> 00:21:24,726
Don't worry. We'll surprise her
on the way out.
236
00:21:24,726 --> 00:21:29,266
I usually do. But I won't be
fast enough in THIS gear.
237
00:21:29,266 --> 00:21:34,426
Leave it to me. I'll get you looking
like an intrepid airman again.
238
00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:40,086
She'll be full of admiration.
How? She knows I can't fly a plane.
239
00:21:40,086 --> 00:21:46,586
You don't imagine
I was able to catch the Hackney Strangler without a little cunning?
240
00:21:46,586 --> 00:21:48,666
CHAIRS SCRAPE
241
00:21:55,146 --> 00:22:00,306
Why don't you slip into something
more comfy - like the next county?!
242
00:22:00,306 --> 00:22:03,346
He's got no control of his parts.
243
00:22:03,346 --> 00:22:07,046
Can you imagine HIM
trying to fly a plane?!
244
00:22:07,046 --> 00:22:12,206
He wanted to see you before he took
off. We tried to talk him out of it.
245
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:16,606
It's too dangerous, we said.
But he scoffs at danger.
246
00:22:16,606 --> 00:22:19,926
I do. I often have a good scoff.
247
00:22:19,926 --> 00:22:22,006
What danger?
248
00:22:22,006 --> 00:22:27,526
He was determined. He wanted to say
goodbye in case anything went wrong.
249
00:22:27,526 --> 00:22:31,806
It's already gone wrong!
Look at my table!
250
00:22:31,806 --> 00:22:35,666
HE'S not doing anything dangerous!
251
00:22:35,666 --> 00:22:38,766
When's HE learnt to fly a plane?
252
00:22:38,766 --> 00:22:44,606
Oh, he's not FLYING one. Did you
think he was flying one? Oh, no!
253
00:22:44,606 --> 00:22:49,466
He's jumping OUT of one.
He's doing a parachute jump.
254
00:22:49,466 --> 00:22:53,226
Brave old you. Nothing to it, Norm.
255
00:22:53,226 --> 00:22:57,266
He's going to JUMP
out of an aeroplane?!
256
00:22:57,266 --> 00:23:02,086
Don't risk it, we said.
You're a national treasure, we said.
257
00:23:02,086 --> 00:23:05,306
I'll stop
as soon as I reach the ground.
258
00:23:05,306 --> 00:23:10,346
Don't stop for ME.
Where DO they dream these things up?
259
00:23:10,346 --> 00:23:12,946
I don't know,
but they get wilder!
260
00:23:12,946 --> 00:23:19,606
Can you believe HIM
jumping out of an aeroplane?! He can't even jump out of bed!
261
00:23:27,886 --> 00:23:33,326
I told thee she wouldn't believe it.
Well, maybe she NEARLY believed it.
262
00:23:33,326 --> 00:23:38,806
She didn't look as though
she nearly believed it. All right.
263
00:23:38,806 --> 00:23:46,166
You know what a hard-nosed lot
they are round here. We'll just have to pile on the evidence. Hey up!
264
00:23:46,166 --> 00:23:49,266
I'm not jumping out of an aeroplane.
265
00:23:49,266 --> 00:23:53,166
No. We'll just make them THINK
you are.
266
00:23:54,906 --> 00:23:58,386
I don't like it, Norm.
Don't worry yet.
267
00:23:58,386 --> 00:24:02,766
It's been my experience
that things will get worse.
268
00:24:02,766 --> 00:24:06,346
I'll organise it.
We have the technology.
269
00:24:10,766 --> 00:24:15,826
Who do they think they're kidding?!
Jumping from aeroplanes!
270
00:24:15,826 --> 00:24:21,286
You never know. The dafter it sounds,
the more likely they are to do it!
271
00:24:21,286 --> 00:24:25,686
I think they must have a gene
for stupidity!
272
00:24:25,686 --> 00:24:28,446
My Barry has A-levels.
273
00:24:28,446 --> 00:24:30,986
In stupidity?
274
00:24:30,986 --> 00:24:33,486
In social studies.
275
00:24:33,486 --> 00:24:35,766
Same difference.
276
00:24:35,766 --> 00:24:41,306
Jumping out of aeroplanes!
How DO they dream these things up?
277
00:24:41,306 --> 00:24:45,486
It's a natural gift -
for irresponsibility.
278
00:24:45,486 --> 00:24:51,466
The stories that mine tells
when he's trying to wriggle out of something!
279
00:24:51,466 --> 00:24:56,126
Yes, they're very good
at wriggling out of things.
280
00:24:56,126 --> 00:25:00,166
My Barry's usually most obliging
around the house.
281
00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:04,546
That's suspicious.
He's at home with a feather duster.
282
00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:07,326
He sometimes gives that impression.
283
00:25:07,326 --> 00:25:10,686
I'd never let Barry jump
from an aeroplane.
284
00:25:10,686 --> 00:25:16,886
Well, not with a feather duster.
And I don't think there's any danger he'd want to.
285
00:25:16,886 --> 00:25:22,566
He didn't want to go and test
that machine. Well, he'd get his clothes dirty.
286
00:25:22,566 --> 00:25:29,286
You've got to be prepared for that
in life. They WILL get their clothes dirty.
287
00:25:29,286 --> 00:25:34,446
At least on mine it doesn't show.
He's wearing camouflage combat gear.
288
00:25:34,446 --> 00:25:38,026
He's testing himself
against the wilderness.
289
00:25:38,026 --> 00:25:42,046
At least he's not jumping out
of aeroplanes!
290
00:25:42,046 --> 00:25:48,366
Nobody's jumping
out of an aeroplane! It's beyond their capacity!
291
00:25:48,366 --> 00:25:51,386
Never stops mine.
292
00:25:53,006 --> 00:25:55,526
PHONE RINGS
293
00:25:55,526 --> 00:26:01,406
POSH:
I expect that must be the vicar, in search of my recipe for sponge cake.
294
00:26:08,766 --> 00:26:12,626
What's he doing? Who is he phoning?
295
00:26:12,626 --> 00:26:15,186
You know as much as me.
296
00:26:15,186 --> 00:26:20,666
Right. That's it, then. They're on
their way. Who's on their way?
297
00:26:20,666 --> 00:26:24,726
The ladies to the rescue.
Rescue WHO?
298
00:26:24,726 --> 00:26:27,826
You, you little parachute person.
299
00:26:27,826 --> 00:26:30,706
And this time they WILL believe it.
300
00:26:35,806 --> 00:26:40,666
Now what?
We wait for the ladies to arrive.
301
00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:45,766
When we hear them coming, I'll give
the signal, you drop from the branch,
302
00:26:45,766 --> 00:26:52,946
and you'll be dangling comfortably
in your harness. Lucky you. Dangling comfortably in your harness.
303
00:26:52,946 --> 00:26:57,966
Hey up! Have you seen the kind
of places I'll be dangling on?!
304
00:26:57,966 --> 00:27:04,566
It's worth it.
You'll look as if you've made your jump and got tangled in the tree.
305
00:27:04,566 --> 00:27:07,086
Think of the impression you'll make.
306
00:27:07,086 --> 00:27:11,086
Think of that branch
you've got to jump off.
307
00:27:12,186 --> 00:27:14,666
It's a bit high.
308
00:27:14,666 --> 00:27:18,646
High?! You've just jumped
out of an aeroplane!
309
00:27:18,646 --> 00:27:21,006
That bit were easy.
310
00:27:22,066 --> 00:27:24,746
Listen... I can hear a vehicle.
311
00:27:24,746 --> 00:27:28,686
It's coming this way.
All right, Ace, jump!
312
00:27:33,306 --> 00:27:36,286
Come on, Ace, move it!
313
00:27:40,186 --> 00:27:42,926
By 'eck, I'll tell thee summat...
314
00:27:42,926 --> 00:27:47,606
this parachute -
it makes the eyes water!
315
00:27:47,606 --> 00:27:53,126
Stop complaining! Think of
the impression you'll make. VEHICLE APPROACHES
316
00:28:01,766 --> 00:28:04,126
Sorry, Mr Simmonite!
317
00:28:04,126 --> 00:28:09,766
It's all right, Barry! Just think
of the impression you've made!
318
00:28:46,706 --> 00:28:50,986
Subtitles by Gillian Frazer
BBC Scotland, 1998
319
00:28:51,036 --> 00:28:55,586
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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