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1
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,500
Can't tha put a silencer
on that brush?
2
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:48,560
I wish you'd fit one to your mouth!
3
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:54,360
Get something on! You're not fit
to be appearing in windows!
4
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:58,760
Tha thinks this is bad?
Tha should see the bottom half!
5
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,920
The way you dress,
half Yorkshire's seen it!
6
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:07,720
Don't tha get fed up sweeping
that yard? It has to be done.
7
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:11,820
Doesn't tha feel
tha wants to break out?
8
00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:13,340
To do what?
9
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:21,360
We could hitchhike across Europe.
Tha could teach the Italians how to make Yorkshire pudding.
10
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:25,360
Or we could go further -
somewhere tropical.
11
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:30,160
You must be joking! You're always
half naked in this climate.
12
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,940
I daren't think what you'd be like
if it was warm!
13
00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:41,140
I would look irresistible, that's
how I'd look. In me summer-weight wellies and me bare chest!
14
00:01:41,140 --> 00:01:43,220
Oh!
15
00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:46,060
We could have Mussolini and chips.
16
00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:50,840
O sole mio...
17
00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:54,200
KNOCKING
18
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,640
Who is it?
Can I come in, Cleggy?
19
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,840
As long as you're alone, Howard.
I am. I'm alone.
20
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:06,460
No wives or reasonable facsimiles,
eh? Come in, Howard.
21
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:15,060
I knew I could rely on you! Where
are you going? I'm stopping here.
22
00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:21,520
You won't let me down.
I can rely on you, Cleggy. When you say, "Stopping here..."
23
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:25,980
I've left home. Is that a cup of tea
you've got on the go?
24
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:34,760
I thought you were broke.
25
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:39,540
You were telling everybody you were
broke. I am broke. I'm skint.
26
00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:42,220
How can you afford to be in there?!
27
00:02:42,220 --> 00:02:44,880
Aw, tha wouldn't understand.
28
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:49,980
When I get a cashflow problem,
I go in there for the atmosphere.
29
00:02:49,980 --> 00:02:52,020
Oh!
30
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,800
That's very Age of Aquarius.
31
00:02:54,800 --> 00:03:00,700
I see. It gives you some kind of
profound, mystical experience.
32
00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:03,480
It charges the batteries.
33
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:07,080
I can go in there
feeling really depressed
34
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,020
and come out feeling twice as bad.
35
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:12,740
I hate being skint.
36
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:20,760
When I said, "Come in", I didn't
mean for the rest of your life!
37
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:25,460
Well, you can't turn a bloke
out in the street, Cleggy.
38
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:28,540
What I want to know, Howard, is...
39
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:35,900
where did you get the nerve
after all these years to walk out on Pearl? I'm impressed!
40
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,500
Oh, it...
41
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:40,760
it was surprisingly easy, really.
42
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,820
Easy? Walking out on Pearl?
Easier than you'd think.
43
00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:47,640
I don't believe it! What happened?
44
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:53,080
She found what she rashly assumed
to be lipstick on me collar...
45
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:57,640
and she threw me out.
Yeah, well, this I CAN believe.
46
00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:03,000
Look, a bloke has something that
looks like lipstick on his shirt,
47
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,800
the next minute he's been thrown out!
48
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,900
Get used to it - you're
about to be thrown out again!
49
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:12,680
Oh, you can't do that, Cleggy!
50
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:18,020
Pearl did. The question is...
Do you think she meant it?
51
00:04:18,020 --> 00:04:21,380
SHE packed me suitcases.
52
00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:23,680
She meant it!
53
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:28,980
"Goodbye," she said.
"Go! Don't bother to write."
54
00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:36,040
When she threw you out
and said, "Go!", don't you think she meant further than next door?
55
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:43,660
You've got to help me get back,
Cleggy. This may take some time!
56
00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,940
I mean today!
57
00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:51,620
Well, you soon got fed up being
a free man, Howard. Why today?
58
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:53,460
Well...
59
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,780
today's baking day.
60
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:58,600
She does this steak and kidney pie.
61
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,960
OK, I may have fooled about a bit
with other women,
62
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:07,840
but I've always been there
for that steak and kidney pie.
63
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:12,240
Oh, they don't make marriages
like that any more!
64
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:20,460
Why do you bet on horses?
Cos there are no racing giraffes!
65
00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:28,060
I never throw my money away
on horses. Tha never throws it away on anything! It's being responsible.
66
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,580
It's known as being tight.
67
00:05:36,140 --> 00:05:37,780
Eli!
68
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,140
CRASH!
69
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:50,720
Are you all right, Eli?
Oh, I'm fine.
70
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:54,320
What were you lot doing
in the middle of the road?
71
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,880
Look, look,
I don't like interfering.
72
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:06,660
You're not interfering. Well, how
come it feels like I'm interfering?
73
00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:20,100
Go on!
74
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,700
(FROM INSIDE:) Go away!
75
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:27,640
Ah! Ha-ha-ha!
76
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:32,680
She said, "Go away!" Of course
she did. She's in a bad mood!
77
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:37,120
Exactly. But this is no time
to be ringing her bell.
78
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,100
Please, Cleggy, try again. Oh!
79
00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:51,140
I warned ya!
80
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:58,700
Ring it again. Don't let me down,
Cleggy. I'm relying on you!
81
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:11,780
I warned ya, Howard!
82
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:14,580
Ah!
83
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:22,320
I knew it was dangerous.
84
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:27,200
Look, she wasn't mad at you.
She thought it was me!
85
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:32,620
Woman empties the contents of her
bucket - it all seems unreasonable.
86
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,680
It does to me!
87
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,460
Look on the bright side, Howard.
88
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:42,060
Tha'll be able to see more of
Marina. I don't know what you mean!
89
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:44,580
Whoo-op! Whoo-op!
90
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:47,580
Why has she thrown you out, Howard?
91
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,720
She thought she'd found
lipstick on me collar.
92
00:07:53,720 --> 00:08:01,460
I admit it LOOKED like lipstick.
I could understand anybody thinking it might BE lipstick. What was it?
93
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,500
Lipstick.
94
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,400
I...I don't know how it got there!
95
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:11,160
Is that what you told her? Yes.
Well, no wonder she threw you out.
96
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,140
You'll have to think of
a better story than that.
97
00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:19,240
Such as what?
98
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,940
I'll think of something.
99
00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:27,860
It's your story. YOU can tell her.
I'm not going near the place.
100
00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:30,940
Just leave it with me, Howard.
101
00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:35,540
You're looking at a man
who learnt the arts of deception behind enemy lines!
102
00:08:46,786 --> 00:08:50,186
Couldn't somebody give me a hand
with these suitcases?
103
00:08:50,186 --> 00:08:54,806
We'll do all we can to help, Howard.
Except for carrying the suitcases.
104
00:08:56,046 --> 00:08:57,646
Thanks(!)
105
00:08:57,646 --> 00:08:59,926
Great to be free, eh, Howard?
106
00:08:59,926 --> 00:09:02,446
It's great to be dry!
107
00:09:02,446 --> 00:09:08,946
I thought you were going to
come up with some clever excuse to get me back home.
108
00:09:08,946 --> 00:09:13,926
I thought you were going to invent
some smart story about that lipstick.
109
00:09:13,926 --> 00:09:17,426
I am. I am.
Just leave it with me, Howard.
110
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:22,406
The thing to do is to give Pearl
a little time to simmer down.
111
00:09:23,586 --> 00:09:25,426
About five years!
112
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:36,346
You just stay here for a while,
Howard.
113
00:09:36,346 --> 00:09:40,086
Let her get used to you
being absent.
114
00:09:40,086 --> 00:09:42,086
Well,
115
00:09:42,086 --> 00:09:44,506
let her start missing you.
116
00:09:44,506 --> 00:09:48,086
She didn't miss me!
She got me dead on!
117
00:09:50,406 --> 00:09:57,486
Now, I want you to stay here
and when we've sorted things out, we'll come back and fetch you.
118
00:09:57,486 --> 00:10:00,206
Well, how long? Why here?
119
00:10:00,206 --> 00:10:05,946
Leave it with me. You stay here and
practise looking happy to be free.
120
00:10:08,726 --> 00:10:14,646
Tha'll have to do better than that,
Howard. I'm trying, I'm trying!
121
00:10:14,646 --> 00:10:21,166
Where are you going?
Relax, Howard. We'll be back. Can't I wait in Cleggy's?
122
00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:27,906
No! My place is haunted.
There's this terrifying figure with a hatchet!
123
00:10:27,906 --> 00:10:29,646
Who?!
124
00:10:29,646 --> 00:10:31,606
Me!
125
00:10:31,606 --> 00:10:35,126
You poke so much as your nose in!
126
00:10:40,586 --> 00:10:45,866
Well, I've done my bit for today.
I've got wet through for charity.
127
00:10:45,866 --> 00:10:53,646
So don't get me involved in your
plans. That goes for me too. Thank you both, but I don't need you.
128
00:10:53,646 --> 00:11:00,786
No, I shall play on Pearl's
sympathy. I shall tell her we've just seen Howard looking pathetic.
129
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:06,046
I shall paint a very sad picture.
It gets the ladies every time.
130
00:11:06,046 --> 00:11:10,066
I wonder if that's why
they always go for me(?)
131
00:11:10,066 --> 00:11:13,566
I'm not going near Pearl's door -
it leaks.
132
00:11:13,566 --> 00:11:18,326
I'll do it. She's not likely to
mistake someone my size for Howard.
133
00:11:18,326 --> 00:11:20,406
Maybe a camel.
134
00:11:20,406 --> 00:11:26,346
I hate washing my hair midweek. You
feel your manhood is in question.
135
00:11:26,346 --> 00:11:31,586
If tha's gonna knock on Pearl's
door, the best of British luck!
136
00:11:31,586 --> 00:11:35,686
It's not a matter of luck.
It's down to planning.
137
00:11:35,686 --> 00:11:37,846
Generalship.
138
00:11:45,986 --> 00:11:50,326
He may be a twit,
but tha's gotta admit he has a go.
139
00:11:50,326 --> 00:11:55,406
They only have that foolhardiness
if they've never been married.
140
00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:59,566
It's all right
bragging about killing Japs,
141
00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:03,106
but did he ever
have to sleep with them?
142
00:12:03,106 --> 00:12:05,606
Well, he never said.
143
00:12:05,606 --> 00:12:07,966
RINGING
144
00:12:18,126 --> 00:12:21,126
Foggy! Foggy, psst!
145
00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:23,846
Psst!
146
00:12:23,846 --> 00:12:25,806
Foggy!
147
00:12:40,806 --> 00:12:43,866
I can't see a damn thing!
148
00:12:43,866 --> 00:12:46,886
She's probably on her bed weeping.
149
00:12:46,886 --> 00:12:49,966
I expect she's missing him by now.
150
00:12:49,966 --> 00:12:55,866
Well, you know what women are. They
haven't got our icy self-control.
151
00:12:55,866 --> 00:12:58,526
I'll unlock the door.
152
00:12:58,526 --> 00:13:02,846
Unless you're planning on
squeezing through the keyhole(!)
153
00:13:09,766 --> 00:13:16,126
Just what you need when you get home.
Six foot of tomfool attached to your keyhole!
154
00:13:25,886 --> 00:13:28,526
Oh, look at him!
155
00:13:30,606 --> 00:13:34,106
That's it!
That's the picture we want!
156
00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:38,746
That's how we play on her sympathy.
Look at him. Who could resist it?
157
00:13:40,246 --> 00:13:42,786
I could resist it.
158
00:13:42,786 --> 00:13:44,826
Me too.
159
00:13:44,826 --> 00:13:49,806
Yes, but you see, you haven't got
this soft, feminine nature.
160
00:13:49,806 --> 00:13:52,806
I'd like to emphasise that!
161
00:13:54,526 --> 00:13:56,526
Me too!
162
00:13:57,966 --> 00:14:00,786
I mean, just look at him!
163
00:14:00,786 --> 00:14:03,566
See, he looks so lost.
164
00:14:06,186 --> 00:14:12,246
We should get Pearl out here. Catch
a glimpse of him. It'll all be over.
165
00:14:12,246 --> 00:14:17,746
They'll embrace each other. We'll
have a happy ending. Pearl?! Yeah.
166
00:14:17,746 --> 00:14:22,106
I don't believe it even had
a happy beginning!
167
00:14:22,106 --> 00:14:24,726
That's just on the surface.
168
00:14:24,726 --> 00:14:29,146
Underneath, there are all these
softer emotions flowing.
169
00:14:29,146 --> 00:14:31,726
She'll miss him for the windows.
170
00:14:31,726 --> 00:14:35,166
How are you going to get Pearl
out here?
171
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:39,386
Well, we'll think of something.
It's known as planning.
172
00:14:39,386 --> 00:14:43,886
If you're messing with Pearl,
it's known as reckless!
173
00:14:43,886 --> 00:14:51,286
I've seen her scare gypsies. I've
seen her with Jehovah's witnesses getting the Watchtower for free!
174
00:15:00,646 --> 00:15:04,906
She told the police
she'd lost some valuable china.
175
00:15:04,906 --> 00:15:07,886
When did she have
valuable china?
176
00:15:07,886 --> 00:15:11,406
She said it was a gift
from a gentleman friend.
177
00:15:11,406 --> 00:15:15,466
Did his wife know?
How did the thief get in?
178
00:15:15,466 --> 00:15:20,586
He was pretending
to be selling things. And she let him in?!
179
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:25,946
I blame force of habit. She's
let some strange ones in before now!
180
00:15:25,946 --> 00:15:28,966
Speak of the devil!
181
00:15:28,966 --> 00:15:34,466
Think. Why has it always got to be
me that comes up with all the ideas?
182
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:38,366
I've got an idea.
About time, too. What is it?
183
00:15:38,366 --> 00:15:43,746
I think I'll talk to Nora. Oh, my
little Yorkshire pudding! Get off!
184
00:15:43,746 --> 00:15:47,266
Come here.
Stop bothering the ladies!
185
00:15:47,266 --> 00:15:49,566
That's no bother.
186
00:15:49,566 --> 00:15:52,786
That's romance.
NORA: What?!
187
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,946
Romance!
188
00:15:54,946 --> 00:15:58,306
It's like tangling with a JCB.
189
00:15:58,306 --> 00:16:03,146
Hey up, I might be rough on the
surface. There's no might about it.
190
00:16:04,966 --> 00:16:10,266
But underneath,
I am as smooth as Julio Iglioarsis.
191
00:16:10,266 --> 00:16:13,266
Julio Iglioarsis!
192
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:17,086
Ho, ho, that really is smooth(!)
193
00:16:17,086 --> 00:16:21,386
You should keep him under control.
I'LL keep him under control.
194
00:16:21,386 --> 00:16:25,186
Er...three of your delicious teas,
please, Ivy.
195
00:16:25,186 --> 00:16:27,926
And none of your flannel, either!
196
00:16:27,926 --> 00:16:30,526
Sit down! I'll bring them over!
197
00:16:36,406 --> 00:16:38,786
I'm disappointed in you.
198
00:16:38,786 --> 00:16:43,066
I ask you to come up with
a simple plan, and nothing.
199
00:16:43,066 --> 00:16:47,526
Hey up, what about thee?
Tha's not got an idea either.
200
00:16:47,526 --> 00:16:54,946
That's where you're wrong. I've had
one all the time. I was just giving you the chance. He's full of it!
201
00:16:54,946 --> 00:16:58,626
I vote we leave Howard
homeless in the park.
202
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:02,506
I could get used to Howard
being in the park.
203
00:17:10,566 --> 00:17:14,646
All right, big Phyllis.
What is this GREAT plan?
204
00:17:14,646 --> 00:17:21,886
Well, you're wondering how we're
going to get Pearl to see Howard in the park, aren't you?
205
00:17:21,886 --> 00:17:25,346
Well, we're going
to write her a note.
206
00:17:25,346 --> 00:17:29,126
We're going to
play on her curiosity.
207
00:17:30,566 --> 00:17:32,426
"Urgent.
208
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:35,846
"Meet me in the park
209
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,686
"at 15.45.
210
00:17:38,686 --> 00:17:42,546
"Important information...
211
00:17:42,546 --> 00:17:46,306
"Signed, a friend."
212
00:17:46,306 --> 00:17:50,766
And tha reckon that's
going to fetch her into the park?
213
00:17:50,766 --> 00:17:55,786
I guarantee it. They can't resist
once their curiosity's been tickled.
214
00:17:55,786 --> 00:18:00,226
No wonder he's still unwed
if that's all he's been tickling!
215
00:18:00,226 --> 00:18:03,766
If you ask me,
that's tickling enough for anybody.
216
00:18:03,766 --> 00:18:07,206
Tha was never a great lover,
was tha, Norm?
217
00:18:08,206 --> 00:18:09,766
Well...
218
00:18:09,766 --> 00:18:12,566
I got this Meccano set.
219
00:18:19,426 --> 00:18:24,986
Yes, but how do we deliver that
note? We sneak it through her door.
220
00:18:24,986 --> 00:18:27,626
Hang on. I've forgotten summat.
221
00:18:28,906 --> 00:18:33,246
What's he forgotten?
He wasn't carrying anything.
222
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,226
SCREAMING
223
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:52,546
Oh, it breaks your heart!
224
00:18:52,546 --> 00:18:56,126
It doesn't break mine.
I like him in the park.
225
00:18:56,126 --> 00:19:01,066
We could come out occasionally
and feed him like we do the ducks.
226
00:19:01,066 --> 00:19:05,026
I bet you could.
He looks a lot like a duck!
227
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:11,446
About time! How long
am I supposed to wait here?
228
00:19:13,466 --> 00:19:15,466
Till 15.45.
229
00:19:15,466 --> 00:19:17,546
Why 15.45?
230
00:19:17,546 --> 00:19:21,006
Don't argue, you're in the army...
well, nearly.
231
00:19:21,006 --> 00:19:25,026
Just...just leave it with me.
You're in good hands.
232
00:19:25,026 --> 00:19:28,066
It's boring sitting here.
233
00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:31,926
Quack, quack, Howard!
Quack, quack, Howard!
234
00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:35,866
15.45.
235
00:19:35,866 --> 00:19:37,326
Be here!
236
00:19:51,966 --> 00:19:57,966
What are we doing HERE? We need a
small gift to go with Pearl's note.
237
00:19:57,966 --> 00:20:02,046
To arouse her curiosity
still further.
238
00:20:02,046 --> 00:20:06,946
You know, sometimes I frighten
myself. I'm so diabolical.
239
00:20:06,946 --> 00:20:13,506
Who's paying for it?
Howard is. It is for his benefit. That's all right, then.
240
00:20:13,506 --> 00:20:19,866
I'm not going inside.
I'm allergic to overspending. Well, you can stay out here.
241
00:20:20,026 --> 00:20:24,826
We shan't be a moment. We just want
something small and attractive.
242
00:20:25,906 --> 00:20:30,406
Sometimes you think that Foggy
is all weasel words
243
00:20:30,406 --> 00:20:33,786
and then he does something
REALLY brave.
244
00:20:38,806 --> 00:20:41,886
How long have you thrown him out for?
245
00:20:41,886 --> 00:20:43,326
Forever!
246
00:20:44,366 --> 00:20:46,846
You have to be firm.
247
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:53,206
I packed his suitcases. Both of 'em.
I mean, one's not going to last forever.
248
00:20:53,206 --> 00:20:57,786
Forever's the only way, especially
if they haven't got a watch!
249
00:20:57,786 --> 00:21:04,826
If you throw them out,
it's got to be forever. Anyway, they're usually back by teatime.
250
00:21:04,826 --> 00:21:08,026
It's awful
to throw your husband out!
251
00:21:08,026 --> 00:21:11,466
They need the exercise.
252
00:21:11,466 --> 00:21:15,106
I used to throw
mine out forever regularly.
253
00:21:15,106 --> 00:21:20,946
The first time I threw my Wally out
forever, he was away for three hours.
254
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:24,686
He had me ringing
the police and the hospitals.
255
00:21:24,686 --> 00:21:28,126
I nearly killed him
when he came back!
256
00:21:28,126 --> 00:21:32,586
That's the trouble with throwing
them out. They take advantage of it!
257
00:21:32,586 --> 00:21:35,626
I'd never throw my Barry out.
258
00:21:35,626 --> 00:21:42,106
You're going to have to learn.
When the time comes, don't come running to me.
259
00:21:42,106 --> 00:21:45,766
I've enough on -
throwing your father out.
260
00:21:45,766 --> 00:21:50,026
I never knew you did that.
Why did you throw him out?
261
00:21:50,026 --> 00:21:52,246
Drink your coffee!
262
00:21:52,246 --> 00:21:57,466
It does them no harm. I always think
regular exercise is beneficial.
263
00:21:57,466 --> 00:22:02,266
They get under your feet if you
don't throw them out occasionally.
264
00:22:02,266 --> 00:22:04,286
I mean it.
265
00:22:04,286 --> 00:22:06,446
He took two suitcases.
266
00:22:06,446 --> 00:22:10,306
- Who packed them?
- I did.
267
00:22:10,306 --> 00:22:13,106
They're no good at packing.
268
00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:18,246
A small, personal gift for a lady.
269
00:22:18,246 --> 00:22:23,326
A...a small personal, INEXPENSIVE
gift for a lady.
270
00:22:23,326 --> 00:22:29,746
Oh, here we go again!
I don't know why I'm always preyed on by bargain hunters.
271
00:22:29,746 --> 00:22:34,126
It says in your window,
"A thousand bargains inside."
272
00:22:34,126 --> 00:22:41,786
That's a thousand bargains for me.
Not any idiot that comes in here. An old lady has a living to make.
273
00:22:43,606 --> 00:22:45,066
Right!
274
00:22:45,066 --> 00:22:48,066
Something personal for a lady.
275
00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:08,846
Yes, well, I wasn't really thinking
of a hat and umbrella stand.
276
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:14,026
Oh, it's perfect to a lady. And I've
thrown you the bonnet in for nothing.
277
00:23:14,026 --> 00:23:17,846
Yes, adds a touch of elegance
to any home.
278
00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:21,246
And your lady friend
will be over the moon.
279
00:23:21,246 --> 00:23:25,766
It's not MY lady friend. Then
why are you desperate to save money?
280
00:23:25,766 --> 00:23:27,986
It's the way he is.
281
00:23:27,986 --> 00:23:32,806
Mmm. And I could fix you up
with a new outfit. Very reasonable.
282
00:23:32,806 --> 00:23:39,746
I can't afford very reasonable.
Ye gods, it's a terrible area for scraping up a living!
283
00:23:42,066 --> 00:23:46,986
Yes, well, actually, you know,
I think we got quite a bargain.
284
00:23:46,986 --> 00:23:51,446
I bet Howard won't think so
when he has to pay for it!
285
00:23:51,446 --> 00:23:54,866
Oh, stop giggling, Clegg.
Give him a hand!
286
00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:05,086
Do you think this will
really influence Pearl?
287
00:24:05,086 --> 00:24:09,946
A note pinned to a combined
hat rack and umbrella stand?
288
00:24:09,946 --> 00:24:15,126
She'll find it intriguing.
She'll think somebody's crackers. He IS crackers!
289
00:24:15,126 --> 00:24:18,166
STREET CROSSING BLEEPS
290
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:21,586
I thought she didn't look very
well on the pavement!
291
00:24:55,346 --> 00:24:57,706
It's not working!
292
00:24:57,706 --> 00:25:00,546
I told thee it wouldn't work.
293
00:25:00,546 --> 00:25:04,186
We'll just have
to think of something else.
294
00:25:04,186 --> 00:25:08,626
It's not been a total dead loss.
She's got a hat rack(!)
295
00:25:15,206 --> 00:25:18,706
It is working.
She's heading for the park!
296
00:25:34,526 --> 00:25:36,786
Howard!
297
00:25:38,966 --> 00:25:40,946
Marina!
298
00:25:53,566 --> 00:26:00,566
I must say it gives you a pleasant
feeling to know you've been able to reunite a married couple.
299
00:26:00,566 --> 00:26:04,206
Does tha think
he wants reuniting with Pearl?
300
00:26:04,206 --> 00:26:09,606
Of course he does. You saw how lost
he looked. He always looks lost.
301
00:26:09,606 --> 00:26:11,786
That's true.
302
00:26:25,906 --> 00:26:27,106
Whoops!
303
00:26:28,626 --> 00:26:31,226
Oh, heck!
304
00:26:34,606 --> 00:26:39,266
Ah, Pearl! I expect you're looking
for Howard, aren't you?
305
00:26:39,266 --> 00:26:44,086
I said to my chaps, "There's Pearl.
I bet she's looking for Howard."
306
00:26:44,086 --> 00:26:48,746
Where is he? Ah, I was right,
you see. You ARE looking for Howard.
307
00:26:48,746 --> 00:26:52,286
I had a note.
Writing to you already, is he?
308
00:26:52,286 --> 00:26:55,206
You've got a number one fan there!
309
00:26:57,426 --> 00:27:01,986
I'm not saying I know this
young lady, but she was with ME.
310
00:27:01,986 --> 00:27:05,426
I wouldn't recommend that
at the moment!
311
00:27:05,426 --> 00:27:10,146
Here, get hold of that!
I wouldn't know where to start!
312
00:27:10,146 --> 00:27:14,706
Well, I always think this is
as good a way as any. Ah! Ah!
313
00:27:14,706 --> 00:27:19,526
Stand aside. There's a young lady
being attacked in these bushes!
314
00:27:19,526 --> 00:27:21,566
You daft prat!
315
00:27:21,566 --> 00:27:24,786
Will you listen to me?!
316
00:27:26,406 --> 00:27:29,086
SPLASHING
317
00:27:33,186 --> 00:27:35,866
Why are you strangling Mr Simmonite?
318
00:27:35,866 --> 00:27:39,646
I'm just clearing
his air passages, love.
319
00:27:39,646 --> 00:27:42,726
Having saved him from drowning.
320
00:27:42,726 --> 00:27:44,766
You...
321
00:27:44,766 --> 00:27:47,186
saved him from drowning?
322
00:27:47,186 --> 00:27:51,246
I saw it with my own eyes.
The chap deserves a medal.
323
00:27:51,246 --> 00:27:53,786
It was nothing, really.
324
00:27:56,106 --> 00:28:01,006
Don't overdo it, Howard! Otherwise
tha could get tha medals bent!
325
00:28:03,066 --> 00:28:07,346
You better come home.
Get yourself dried out.
326
00:28:07,346 --> 00:28:11,286
Last thing we want's
any more of you to shrink!
327
00:28:11,336 --> 00:28:15,886
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