Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,540
Get up off that damp floor
before the cat gets you.
2
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,140
Check the pecs, baby!
3
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,220
Are you ready for living
with no fat, all beef?
4
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:20,760
I've seen this ewe.
It was here yesterday.
5
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,660
Well, I'm sorry about that.
6
00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:25,180
Perhaps we could have it replaced.
7
00:01:25,180 --> 00:01:28,500
With concrete...as they do.
8
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,540
Today, I'm Alvin.
9
00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:32,500
Man of action. Don't show me views.
10
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:37,220
Alvin.
You're a deeply sensitive person.
11
00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:40,240
Nora Batty says that.
12
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:44,240
No, she doesn't.
She says you're barmy.
13
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,660
Yeah, but she means
deeply sensitive.
14
00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:04,700
We've warned you.
15
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:08,920
If you're being sick,
that's three points on your licence.
16
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,840
I haven't been sick. She'll kill
me if she knows I've been arrested.
17
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,040
Tell her that sounds
like a good idea.
18
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,780
Tell her to hang on to it.
19
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:19,320
Where are we?
20
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,680
You don't like surprises?
21
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,780
It's five miles that way.
22
00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:28,420
By the time you get back to your car
you'll be in a better condition for driving.
23
00:02:28,420 --> 00:02:30,920
I'm not getting arrested?
24
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,780
It's your lucky day.
We're having a sale.
25
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,480
I'm not going to court?
26
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,740
We don't go to court
unless we can't help it.
27
00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:41,420
It doesn't work for us any more.
28
00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:43,440
Don't lose this.
29
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:47,080
Make sure you're sober
next time you use it.
30
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:51,060
I will. I will.
It's been a pleasure.
31
00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,700
Suppose he gets a lift.
32
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:07,980
Won't help him.
I've given him the wrong key.
33
00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:17,180
Look at that.
34
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:23,360
What? People.
35
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,380
You come way out here
and still there are people.
36
00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,460
Probably live round here.
37
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:30,620
I don't accept that excuse.
38
00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,900
Can you see anybody?
39
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,100
Like who are we looking for?
40
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:43,140
Nobody. Oh, right.
41
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,520
That clears things up, then.
42
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,980
You can't see anybody? No.
43
00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:51,620
Right, then. This is us.
44
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,980
So, who're we looking for?
45
00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:19,460
I told you. Nobody.
46
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,380
And you're right. There is nobody.
47
00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:25,120
We've cracked it. We can relax.
48
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,180
I am relaxed.
It's you that's twitchy.
49
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,200
Are you surprised?
50
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,860
We're in the world's
trickiest line of work.
51
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:37,920
It's not that bad the way we do it.
52
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,380
Course, I guide us
every inch of the way.
53
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:45,480
Are you paying attention?
54
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:49,660
I'm about to furnish you with the
ultimate secret of modern policing.
55
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:55,260
Have you been holding this back?
56
00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:57,060
I had to be sure you were ready.
57
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,000
This isn't an exchange for
one of my sandwiches, is it?
58
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,940
Because you can forget it.
I'm giving you this free.
59
00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,080
Later, we can talk sandwiches.
60
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,000
No, we can't.
61
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,000
The absolute first requirement
of today's policing -
62
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,300
and they don't tell you this
at training college - is...
63
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,620
are you ready for it? I'm ready.
64
00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:22,500
Invisibility.
65
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,840
The art of not being seen.
66
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,360
And they don't make it easy for us.
67
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,240
Sticking us in these uniforms.
68
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:35,160
Dead giveaway.
Any fool can see you're a policeman.
69
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,820
Which some people might say
is the whole idea.
70
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:40,620
Once upon a time.
71
00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:44,900
But now the law's gone
over the other side, how much of a good idea is it?
72
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:58,000
You can take him to lunch somewhere.
73
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,940
What do you feed vicars on?
74
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:02,100
Same as anyone else.
75
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,340
Really? Are you sure about that?
76
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,580
Suppose I'm already chewing
when he starts saying grace.
77
00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:12,400
You'll be fine.
78
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,660
Your Auntie Jessie says
he's very nice.
79
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:18,180
She thinks all vicars are nice.
80
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:23,660
And what do you talk about
over lunch?
81
00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:26,440
An entire lunch.
82
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,540
I see St Paul sure gave it
to those Corinthians.
83
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,720
Stop it.
84
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,660
You'll be fine.
85
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,320
Just treat him like
an ordinary human being.
86
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,240
Have you had a good look
at those lately?
87
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,660
Get used to it.
You promised your Auntie Jessie.
88
00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:46,660
I didn't say when.
She'll be checking.
89
00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:48,720
He was her favourite vicar.
90
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,320
Why doesn't she take him out?
91
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:56,360
They do. Several of those old ladies
do, but he never sees a male person.
92
00:06:56,360 --> 00:07:00,340
He's got God... Barry.
even if he has retired.
93
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,140
The vicar, not God.
94
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,060
Although you have to wonder
about that these days.
95
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:15,440
Keep your eyes peeled for danger.
96
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,300
Keep your head down.
97
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:19,820
Get through the shift.
Name of the game.
98
00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:23,500
You've got 14 across wrong.
99
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:26,480
It's not "receptacle". It was a fit.
100
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,100
Not if you spell it right.
101
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,340
Golden rule.
102
00:07:33,340 --> 00:07:35,300
Keep away from people.
103
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:36,880
Troublemakers.
104
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,800
They'll suck you into all kinds
of lairy situations.
105
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,800
It's the only time they ever want
a policeman...when there's trouble.
106
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:49,720
Does that sound fair to you? Going
to have to get a harder crossword.
107
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:54,200
An intellectual.
I'm stuck with an intellectual.
108
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,020
I don't need this.
109
00:07:56,020 --> 00:07:58,280
I need muscle.
110
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:02,980
If I need backup in a hurry, I don't
need you coming in with 14 across.
111
00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:04,560
I'll look after you.
112
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,060
You let that woman hit me.
113
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:09,620
I can't go about wrestling women.
114
00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:11,580
It's not all bad.
115
00:08:17,419 --> 00:08:19,719
KNOCK ON DOOR
116
00:08:22,159 --> 00:08:25,139
We found Barry walking past
with a miserable expression.
117
00:08:25,139 --> 00:08:27,859
Didn't you tell him you'd got one?
118
00:08:27,859 --> 00:08:29,359
Sure he didn't get it from you?
119
00:08:30,359 --> 00:08:32,679
Don't tell me Howard's contagious?
120
00:08:34,439 --> 00:08:38,099
I've got to babysit a retired vicar.
121
00:08:38,099 --> 00:08:40,219
I'm supposed to take him out
for the day.
122
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,059
Sounds like fun.
123
00:08:42,059 --> 00:08:43,879
How did you get landed with that?
124
00:08:43,879 --> 00:08:47,079
Me Auntie Jessie.
Why can't she take him out?
125
00:08:47,079 --> 00:08:51,419
She does. The old ladies
are always taking him out. Oh.
126
00:08:51,419 --> 00:08:53,299
How is your Aunt Jessie, Barry?
127
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:56,859
Well enough not to take no
for an answer.
128
00:08:56,859 --> 00:08:59,819
Taking a vicar out for the day.
129
00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:03,719
That's a new one.
I've never thought of that.
130
00:09:04,779 --> 00:09:05,899
You could take mine.
131
00:09:05,899 --> 00:09:09,319
He can't take a vicar
on his kind of travels.
132
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:13,079
I've been nowhere
a vicar couldn't go.
133
00:09:13,079 --> 00:09:15,539
But you've been more often.
134
00:09:15,539 --> 00:09:20,079
All you need is a bit of backup,
Barry. Let this mob go with you.
135
00:09:20,079 --> 00:09:24,499
Sorry. I've got to stay in
and wash my hair.
136
00:09:24,499 --> 00:09:29,179
I'd love to, but promise wife
I take her to her woodwork lesson.
137
00:09:29,179 --> 00:09:32,599
Oh, they'll go with you, Barry.
They're easily led.
138
00:09:48,059 --> 00:09:49,759
I say, hello!
139
00:09:52,699 --> 00:09:54,919
Who is it?
140
00:09:59,119 --> 00:10:01,439
Bloke on a bicycle.
141
00:10:03,079 --> 00:10:06,279
They come from miles
just to bring you their problems.
142
00:10:06,279 --> 00:10:08,119
Maybe he's just passing.
143
00:10:08,119 --> 00:10:10,259
They're never just passing.
144
00:10:10,259 --> 00:10:12,839
How did he find his way out here?
145
00:10:12,839 --> 00:10:14,499
It's the car, isn't it?
146
00:10:14,499 --> 00:10:17,999
They give us these damn things,
blue lights all over.
147
00:10:17,999 --> 00:10:19,759
No wonder they find us.
148
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:24,599
We're all pastel shades.
What's wrong with grey?
149
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:31,959
He's coming. I told you.
150
00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:35,719
All right. We're down here
checking the rear wheel.
151
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:38,339
Maybe he'll think
there's nobody here.
152
00:10:38,339 --> 00:10:42,139
Not in car? Where would we be?
153
00:10:42,139 --> 00:10:46,119
Out searching the area for...
a lost child.
154
00:10:46,119 --> 00:10:48,859
I hope we find her. Don't.
155
00:10:48,859 --> 00:10:51,399
They leave sticky finger marks
all over.
156
00:10:52,459 --> 00:10:54,799
There you are. Get down, sir.
157
00:10:56,359 --> 00:10:58,479
You're in his sights. Sights?
158
00:10:58,479 --> 00:11:00,039
The sniper.
159
00:11:00,039 --> 00:11:02,039
We're about to take him out.
160
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,119
Foxtrot, control.
161
00:11:06,119 --> 00:11:09,999
We've got another problem.
A civilian's just stumbled in.
162
00:11:09,999 --> 00:11:14,099
We'll have to exfiltrate him first
before we can tackle the sniper.
163
00:11:14,099 --> 00:11:15,999
No.
164
00:11:15,999 --> 00:11:17,839
We daren't wait for backup.
165
00:11:17,839 --> 00:11:19,439
This guy could kill.
166
00:11:19,439 --> 00:11:22,119
We're going in. And listen.
167
00:11:22,119 --> 00:11:24,479
If something goes pear-shaped,
168
00:11:24,479 --> 00:11:28,399
get word to my wife. Tell her...
169
00:11:28,399 --> 00:11:30,799
thanks for all the wonderful years.
170
00:11:33,399 --> 00:11:35,679
Keep your head down below the wall.
Go, go.
171
00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:37,159
Go, go!
172
00:11:41,279 --> 00:11:43,319
I wonder what he wanted.
173
00:11:43,319 --> 00:11:45,299
Directions probably.
174
00:11:45,299 --> 00:11:49,479
Anyway, he knows where he's going
now. Back where he came from.
175
00:11:49,479 --> 00:11:54,259
"Tell her thanks
for all the wonderful years"?
176
00:11:54,259 --> 00:11:56,019
Human touch.
177
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,119
People love the human touch.
178
00:12:03,219 --> 00:12:06,539
It'd be good for me
to be seen with the vicar.
179
00:12:06,539 --> 00:12:09,599
Retired. Still counts.
180
00:12:09,599 --> 00:12:12,359
Once a vicar, always a vicar.
181
00:12:12,359 --> 00:12:17,279
When they see me with him,
people will realise I've got a serious side.
182
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:21,219
As long as you keep him on that side
and not your other side.
183
00:12:21,219 --> 00:12:26,499
You can make fun of it, but Pearl
was impressed when I told her we were taking the vicar out.
184
00:12:26,499 --> 00:12:30,519
She'll be even more impressed
when she knows it's a lady vicar.
185
00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:34,079
What? It's not, is it?
186
00:12:34,079 --> 00:12:36,859
No, it's not. Relax.
187
00:12:36,859 --> 00:12:40,299
Hey-up, best behaviour.
Here he comes now.
188
00:12:45,539 --> 00:12:48,919
Morning, Vicar. Morning, Vicar.
Morning, Vicar.
189
00:12:48,919 --> 00:12:50,799
No, no, no, no!
190
00:12:53,099 --> 00:12:56,699
If it's a bad time,
tell him we can come back.
191
00:12:56,699 --> 00:12:59,859
Are you sure he's the one?
Haven't they got anything quieter?
192
00:13:00,939 --> 00:13:03,859
He kept muttering,
but I thought he was praying.
193
00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:12,039
If there's anyone here particularly
pious, I suggest you leave now. This is my day off.
194
00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:15,799
If it's not pious you want,
you'll be safe enough with him.
195
00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:19,719
I hardly know the young lady.
196
00:13:22,619 --> 00:13:25,799
So this is it, then?
My escort for the day.
197
00:13:25,799 --> 00:13:27,519
Here we go again.
198
00:13:27,519 --> 00:13:29,899
If it's not old women, it's old men.
199
00:13:29,899 --> 00:13:32,399
You should see
some of the specimens I get.
200
00:13:32,399 --> 00:13:34,079
I used to bury better.
201
00:13:36,439 --> 00:13:38,599
You'll have to catch him, Barry.
202
00:13:38,599 --> 00:13:40,539
He's legally your responsibility.
203
00:13:40,539 --> 00:13:43,299
Lost him already.
You've only had him five minutes.
204
00:13:47,579 --> 00:13:51,379
Here they are. You're not allowed
to restrain us. He's right.
205
00:13:51,379 --> 00:13:54,959
Well, if you think you're so right,
what you fighting him for?
206
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,439
You can't stop us from fighting.
207
00:13:57,439 --> 00:13:59,339
You're absolutely right, sir.
208
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:03,479
May I say how impressed we're both
becoming by your big mouth?
209
00:14:03,479 --> 00:14:05,039
Has it been trained?
210
00:14:05,039 --> 00:14:06,959
Or did you come by it naturally?
211
00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:08,959
That's verbal abuse.
212
00:14:08,959 --> 00:14:11,279
No. That were just the warm-up.
213
00:14:14,039 --> 00:14:15,639
You can't touch us.
214
00:14:15,639 --> 00:14:18,299
Touch you? Who wants to touch you?
215
00:14:18,299 --> 00:14:21,919
Have you seen the state of you,
rolling on the floor?
216
00:14:21,919 --> 00:14:24,759
He started it. Liar!
217
00:14:24,759 --> 00:14:26,799
Give it a rest.
218
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:31,399
I think it should be compulsory
that people have to wash before they can be arrested.
219
00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:36,759
Are we being arrested?
220
00:14:36,759 --> 00:14:39,879
Unless you want option two.
221
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,139
What's option two?
222
00:14:42,139 --> 00:14:45,959
It's brand new.
You'll be among the first.
223
00:14:45,959 --> 00:14:47,479
Bring them to the car.
224
00:14:58,039 --> 00:14:59,719
Here we go.
225
00:14:59,719 --> 00:15:01,579
Put these in your pockets.
226
00:15:01,579 --> 00:15:05,679
Now, the rules are, they must
remain with you at all times.
227
00:15:05,679 --> 00:15:08,919
They're empty soft drink cans.
228
00:15:08,919 --> 00:15:10,639
You're the sharp one, aren't you?
229
00:15:12,199 --> 00:15:14,979
I wouldn't say he's all that sharp.
230
00:15:14,979 --> 00:15:17,819
Of course, they look like
soft drink cans.
231
00:15:17,819 --> 00:15:20,879
Deliberately made that way
by a caring authority
232
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:26,039
so that if people see you with them,
they won't realise you've been tagged for drunk and disorderly.
233
00:15:26,039 --> 00:15:28,459
Now, is that thoughtful or what?
234
00:15:28,459 --> 00:15:31,819
How long do we have to...?
Till the buzzer goes off.
235
00:15:31,819 --> 00:15:34,979
When you finish your stretch,
you'll hear the buzzer go off.
236
00:15:34,979 --> 00:15:37,399
Until then,
keep them with you at all times.
237
00:15:37,399 --> 00:15:38,839
We will be monitoring.
238
00:15:50,939 --> 00:15:54,319
Someone's going to call your bluff
one of these days.
239
00:15:54,319 --> 00:15:56,439
I have a strategy for that.
240
00:15:56,439 --> 00:15:59,079
It's you. You're nicely built.
241
00:15:59,079 --> 00:16:04,259
You should be able to handle
yourself while I'm on the radio, getting backup.
242
00:16:19,659 --> 00:16:25,399
I think we got off to a bad start.
I think that sums it up.
243
00:16:25,399 --> 00:16:28,239
Start not getting any better.
244
00:16:28,239 --> 00:16:30,159
Pull up just past him.
245
00:16:30,159 --> 00:16:32,199
We'll try the softly, softly bit.
246
00:16:44,499 --> 00:16:47,179
You could have had him there.
Why didn't you stop him?
247
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:51,339
You can't physically restrain
a vicar.
248
00:16:53,839 --> 00:16:56,019
I think we might have to.
249
00:16:56,019 --> 00:16:59,099
I'd sooner tussle with him
than my Aunt Jessie.
250
00:16:59,099 --> 00:17:02,339
Drive round, Barry.
We'll catch him at the other end.
251
00:17:02,339 --> 00:17:05,119
Is it allowed to catch vicars
at the other end?
252
00:17:23,079 --> 00:17:25,199
Do you know what mental health is?
253
00:17:25,199 --> 00:17:27,759
It's listening to a black bird.
254
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:31,819
Wife's got relatives
in Leighton Buzzard.
255
00:17:33,399 --> 00:17:34,879
We've never been.
256
00:17:36,779 --> 00:17:39,399
Chewing a blade of grass
is therapeutic.
257
00:17:41,319 --> 00:17:43,179
We're going next weekend.
258
00:17:45,979 --> 00:17:49,319
Of course, it means you ingest
a percentage of insect manure.
259
00:18:07,539 --> 00:18:09,939
What's the idea?
260
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:37,099
This is called showing a police
presence. You go nice and slow.
261
00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:40,519
You think you're on to something.
It brings a sense of comfort.
262
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,519
They find it reassuring.
263
00:18:42,519 --> 00:18:44,679
I'm getting cramp.
264
00:18:44,679 --> 00:18:46,839
I get that.
265
00:18:46,839 --> 00:18:48,959
Never in t'mouth, I notice.
266
00:18:50,539 --> 00:18:53,539
Nice and slow. Not too slow,
else one of the brassier ones
267
00:18:53,539 --> 00:18:57,099
will seize the opportunity of coming
at you with a boring complaint.
268
00:19:02,239 --> 00:19:04,239
There's one now...
269
00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:08,899
..unless he's selling a pointed hat.
270
00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:12,519
Tell him we're not the police.
Tell him we're ticket inspectors.
271
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:17,059
They shoved him in a car. The vicar.
I saw it, he didn't want to go.
272
00:19:17,059 --> 00:19:19,319
At least four of them.
They went that way.
273
00:19:19,319 --> 00:19:21,319
Oh, I'm glad I caught you.
274
00:19:21,319 --> 00:19:23,759
We were just thinking the same.
275
00:19:23,759 --> 00:19:25,359
Can you slow down?
276
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,339
What exactly did you see?
277
00:19:27,339 --> 00:19:31,299
A kidnap. Get after them.
They just kidnapped a vicar.
278
00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:34,079
They went that way.
I've got the number.
279
00:19:57,439 --> 00:19:59,519
CAR ENGINE
280
00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:01,159
That's them.
281
00:20:11,039 --> 00:20:12,799
Foxtrot, Control.
282
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:17,119
There we go, Vicar. Mind your head.
283
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:22,659
I minded being dragged out here
when I could have been back in my room with a good book.
284
00:20:24,719 --> 00:20:26,199
Hey.
285
00:20:26,199 --> 00:20:28,639
You take him. We'll watch the car.
286
00:20:28,639 --> 00:20:30,319
I can watch cars.
287
00:20:30,319 --> 00:20:32,219
Barry needs you.
288
00:20:34,719 --> 00:20:37,819
We were told you liked a day out.
289
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,979
Did anyone ask? No.
290
00:20:39,979 --> 00:20:44,719
It's taken for granted that
I'm available to be snatched away at anyone's whim.
291
00:20:44,719 --> 00:20:47,359
I suppose we're here for the scenery.
292
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,659
Ye gods, more scenery!
293
00:20:52,559 --> 00:20:55,699
He was right. It's the vicar.
294
00:20:55,699 --> 00:20:58,919
Why would anybody
want to kidnap a vicar?
295
00:20:58,919 --> 00:21:00,999
Maybe it's the atheists.
296
00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:03,679
They're very stroppy these days.
297
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,519
Splendid view, Vicar.
298
00:21:07,519 --> 00:21:09,359
So I'm led to believe.
299
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,599
People come from miles.
300
00:21:11,599 --> 00:21:14,659
As do the sheep.
301
00:21:14,659 --> 00:21:17,899
Of course, it's not
always attractive.
302
00:21:17,899 --> 00:21:20,799
In winter,
people have died of exposure.
303
00:21:20,799 --> 00:21:22,499
One knows how they feel.
304
00:21:24,619 --> 00:21:29,159
Makes a person think,
I always think. A nice view.
305
00:21:29,159 --> 00:21:31,419
Is that what you think?
306
00:21:31,419 --> 00:21:34,799
Always makes me think
of what lies beyond.
307
00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:36,859
Manchester, I shouldn't wonder.
308
00:21:36,859 --> 00:21:40,199
What an imposition.
Bringing me all this way out here...
309
00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:43,279
What's he saying?
310
00:21:44,879 --> 00:21:46,639
Maybe he's praying.
311
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,319
It didn't sound like praying.
312
00:21:49,319 --> 00:21:51,639
We ought to respect his privacy.
313
00:21:59,539 --> 00:22:01,959
They've left him alone.
314
00:22:01,959 --> 00:22:05,759
Where's he going? It's a sheer drop.
315
00:22:05,759 --> 00:22:08,359
You don't think...
316
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,199
We need to grab him, don't we?
317
00:22:10,199 --> 00:22:11,999
While he's alone.
318
00:22:11,999 --> 00:22:14,239
We'd better keep him quiet...
319
00:22:14,239 --> 00:22:15,719
else he'll hear us.
320
00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:24,159
He's a bit prickly for a vicar.
321
00:22:24,159 --> 00:22:27,099
He's a bit prickly for a sinner.
322
00:22:27,099 --> 00:22:30,719
You should cheer him up, Barry.
Ask him about his favourite funerals.
323
00:22:30,719 --> 00:22:33,159
I'm not going too near him.
324
00:22:33,159 --> 00:22:34,679
You saw what he did to his hat.
325
00:22:35,819 --> 00:22:37,959
I'll cheer him up
when he's finished.
326
00:22:37,959 --> 00:22:39,559
I'm good with people.
327
00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:41,759
You can't take HIM in the bushes.
328
00:22:56,899 --> 00:22:59,179
Where are you going to take him,
then?
329
00:22:59,179 --> 00:23:01,599
I was hoping
you might have a suggestion.
330
00:23:01,599 --> 00:23:03,799
We're just here for ride.
331
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:06,039
Non-executive function.
332
00:23:06,039 --> 00:23:07,899
They just hand him over to you.
333
00:23:07,899 --> 00:23:11,059
You'd think there'd be
a list of instructions.
334
00:23:11,059 --> 00:23:13,379
Hadn't you better be
getting back to him?
335
00:23:13,379 --> 00:23:15,959
We thought we'd give him
a few moments of privacy.
336
00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:19,099
I expect he wants to say a prayer.
337
00:23:19,099 --> 00:23:22,459
For you, probably.
He must have heard the rumours.
338
00:23:22,459 --> 00:23:26,659
Here, Howard,
suppose the prayer works
339
00:23:26,659 --> 00:23:29,479
and you lose all interest
in misbehaviour.
340
00:23:31,819 --> 00:23:35,059
But wouldn't it start with
just a small reduction, first?
341
00:23:51,419 --> 00:23:54,259
Keep him quiet.
I'm trying to keep him quiet.
342
00:23:54,259 --> 00:23:57,879
He's going to be bellowing,
isn't he, the minute you let go of his mouth?
343
00:24:03,259 --> 00:24:05,379
Sorry, Vicar,
it's for your own good.
344
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,039
I bet he gave really long sermons.
345
00:24:18,239 --> 00:24:20,579
Quick. What about the gang?
346
00:24:20,579 --> 00:24:23,219
We can't do it all.
They're setting up road blocks.
347
00:24:23,219 --> 00:24:24,879
The helicopter's out.
348
00:24:24,879 --> 00:24:26,219
We did good, didn't we?
349
00:24:26,219 --> 00:24:28,259
We did good.
350
00:24:28,259 --> 00:24:31,419
MUFFLED MOANING
I'm a perfectly respectable...
351
00:24:31,419 --> 00:24:32,519
Not sure he thinks so.
352
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,359
MUSIC: "Z CARS" THEME
353
00:24:45,199 --> 00:24:47,599
He's gone again. In broad daylight?
354
00:24:47,599 --> 00:24:51,199
You think I'M good at disappearing?
How can he have gone?
355
00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:52,679
He's just gone.
356
00:24:52,679 --> 00:24:55,579
Completely, as in not there?
357
00:24:55,579 --> 00:25:00,519
Exactly as in not there.
Just disappeared.
358
00:25:00,519 --> 00:25:02,479
Did you look everywhere? Everywhere.
359
00:25:05,519 --> 00:25:06,679
Except...
360
00:25:17,139 --> 00:25:19,599
I hate looking for fallen vicars.
361
00:25:19,599 --> 00:25:22,199
Fall, or did he jump? Don't say that.
362
00:25:22,199 --> 00:25:24,719
He wasn't in that bad a mood. Close.
363
00:25:25,739 --> 00:25:29,879
Can you see him? You can't tell.
There's too much cover down there.
364
00:25:29,879 --> 00:25:32,699
I expect he's lying there in agony.
365
00:25:32,699 --> 00:25:34,199
Oh, thank you for that(!)
366
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:36,459
We'd better go and look for him.
367
00:25:36,459 --> 00:25:41,619
They'll blame me.
I'm going to go through life as "That's him who lost the vicar".
368
00:25:41,619 --> 00:25:45,939
You can't give up hope.
He might only be seriously mangled.
369
00:25:52,219 --> 00:25:54,699
You put the reverend gentleman
in the boot?
370
00:25:54,699 --> 00:25:56,779
For his own safety.
371
00:25:59,139 --> 00:26:02,119
Go on. Tell the Chief Superintendent
you were kidnapped.
372
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,439
It's perfectly true. I was. I was.
373
00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:06,079
Kidnapped. By these two idiots.
374
00:26:09,899 --> 00:26:13,619
I can explain... Shut it, Cooper.
I've heard your explanations before.
375
00:26:13,619 --> 00:26:14,919
Life's not long enough.
376
00:26:14,919 --> 00:26:18,079
It were all perfectly... Enough.
Just answer me this.
377
00:26:18,079 --> 00:26:22,279
Is this why we've got the helicopter
out and road blocks every which way?
378
00:26:29,899 --> 00:26:31,899
Well, he's not there,
thank goodness.
379
00:26:31,899 --> 00:26:34,879
There's a lot of cover down there.
380
00:26:34,879 --> 00:26:36,699
It's very secluded.
381
00:26:36,699 --> 00:26:41,199
Well, when you bring Marina,
keep an eye out for the vicar.
382
00:26:41,199 --> 00:26:44,559
I've no idea what you mean.
383
00:26:44,559 --> 00:26:46,819
He's not there.
We've looked everywhere.
384
00:26:46,819 --> 00:26:49,019
Maybe the vicar's gone
straight to heaven.
385
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,099
CAR HORN TOOTS
386
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:16,659
Vicar. What happened to you?
387
00:27:16,659 --> 00:27:20,079
You're not going to believe this.
Trust me, I'm going to believe it.
388
00:27:21,719 --> 00:27:25,119
I couldn't persuade you to come
for a quiet drink, could I?
389
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,379
You know, I really think you might.
390
00:27:31,659 --> 00:27:34,939
I must say, this has been one
of the more interesting days out.
391
00:27:56,139 --> 00:27:58,479
That's the last time
we do things by the book.
392
00:27:58,479 --> 00:28:00,839
We forgot the mustard.
393
00:28:01,859 --> 00:28:03,419
We didn't forget the mustard.
394
00:28:03,419 --> 00:28:06,359
From now on...
Are you listening to this?
395
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,939
I'm listening.
396
00:28:08,939 --> 00:28:12,399
No more by the book. You've seen
what happens when we go by the book.
397
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,679
In future, we go by my rules -
398
00:28:14,679 --> 00:28:16,439
Cooper's Rules, OK?
399
00:28:18,059 --> 00:28:22,239
Survival policing
for a time of low behaviour.
400
00:28:23,699 --> 00:28:26,579
You don't think the vicar
would have nicked the mustard?
401
00:28:26,629 --> 00:28:31,179
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
30561
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.