Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:44,200
CHURCH BELLS RING
2
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,640
HE YAWNS LOUDLY
3
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:53,900
You look lovely every Sunday!
4
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,120
Why waste it on the vicar?!
5
00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:02,140
The road to paradise, lovely,
is in THIS direction!
6
00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:04,680
Get something on!
7
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:09,200
You've no right to talk
to a churchgoer in that condition.
8
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:16,300
If you get mice in your bedroom,
you'll need a good neighbour. Mice are better neighbours than you!
9
00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:19,920
She's got a wicked tongue!
10
00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:25,640
I love a mature woman
with a wicked tongue!
11
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,700
Aaaaaaah!
12
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:46,260
Will you close your mouth?!
13
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:51,260
How did you get planning permission
for a hole that size?
14
00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:56,300
Well, I were up before dinner,
seeing Nora Batty off to church.
15
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,820
That's the crack of dawn, is it?
16
00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:02,900
AND I were up half the night
with my ferret.
17
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:06,540
Sorry to hear that.
Anything serious?
18
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:09,060
No. He's just got too much energy.
19
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:12,040
He were exploring inside my clock!
20
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,000
Sneaks up your nostril, does he?
21
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,480
My chiming clock!
22
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:25,320
How odd it all seems to those of us
used to a ferret-free environment.
23
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:30,160
You just let it wander about?
24
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,180
I don't LET it. It doesn't ask
permission. It just gets out.
25
00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:37,460
And goes to the clock?
26
00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:40,440
Every time! Straight to the clock!
27
00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:43,920
Why don't you buy him a wristwatch?
28
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:50,440
He just likes to ferret about
inside the works.
29
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:58,120
As a headmaster, I can tell you
small boys are like that. Into EVERYTHING.
30
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:03,160
The number of times I had to
replace Matron's hearing aid!
31
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,540
I suppose
their curiosity is natural
32
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:11,560
but I never dared employ
anyone with an artificial limb.
33
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:15,520
They'd have had it unscrewed
in a trice.
34
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,920
Hey, Norm, what's a trice?
35
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:25,960
Well, it looks like a jiffy,
but it has three wheels.
36
00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:38,920
Why do you think the world
is full of creepy crawlies?
37
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:43,980
Well, if you've no qualifications,
it's one way to get on in the world.
38
00:03:43,980 --> 00:03:50,480
I'm talking about
invertebrates - the insects and associated squigglies.
39
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:55,440
Are they an evolutionary mistake,
or is there a purpose?
40
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,440
Could you repeat the question?
41
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,460
We're not paying attention again,
are we?
42
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:09,980
Will he keep me in at playtime?
43
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:12,520
I wouldn't be surprised.
44
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:19,560
You should be interested
in these questions. You can't swan through life any old how.
45
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,460
I don't do badly.
I'm good at any old how.
46
00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:26,500
I'd say you were VERY good at it.
47
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:31,560
Look at the state of him.
Do you call that "not so bad"?
48
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:35,560
What have you done
to make people admire you?
49
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,060
I live next door to Nora Batty.
50
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,440
That's TRUE!
51
00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:45,980
One can only admire such STAMINA.
52
00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:52,980
You get medals for being in a war
but absolutely nothing for living next door to Nora Batty.
53
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:55,260
Nothing to it!
54
00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:57,840
Oh, he's so modest!
55
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:02,860
Makes you realise,
there will always be an England.
56
00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:06,540
CAR HORN TOOTS
57
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,480
Ey up! It's Jack Harry Teesdale.
58
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,520
'Ow do, lads?
59
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:16,000
And good day to you,
Jack Harry Teesdale.
60
00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:19,840
What's wrong with Mrs Teesdale?
61
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:24,580
If you want to know anything,
Seymour, just ask!
62
00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:29,160
She'll be all right.
We've had a great weekend.
63
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,380
She just hates the last bit.
64
00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:36,220
Coming home?
She hates coming home?
65
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:39,820
I do. I hate it.
I really hate it.
66
00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:43,140
You should try living in my place!
67
00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:47,220
She DOESN'T hate it.
I do. I hate it.
68
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:49,900
It SOUNDS like she hates it.
69
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,980
Well, don't stand there.
70
00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:55,440
Hop in, if you want a lift.
71
00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:04,080
I REALLY hate it.
72
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:17,980
Great weekend. Bit of fishing.
Bit of intensive bingo. She enjoyed it!
73
00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:22,000
I did.
I'm not hard to please.
74
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,540
My mother was a Wagstaffe.
75
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:30,600
I used to know your Eric.
He took early retirement.
76
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:38,600
At every opportunity!
He's not a good colour. I was saying that earlier.
77
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:43,600
But we always do enjoy it.
Caravanning is our cup of tea.
78
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,120
We get away every weekend.
79
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,360
Every weekend!
80
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:52,800
Every single weekend.
81
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:57,320
She loves it.
Can't keep her at home.
82
00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,840
HE WHISTLES:
"I'M FOREVER BLOWING BUBBLES"
83
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:12,820
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Did you feel the benefit?
84
00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:15,340
It's a lot of bobbing up and down.
85
00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:18,400
I wouldn't call it a lot. No!
86
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,460
It's not excitable,
like foreign religions!
87
00:07:22,460 --> 00:07:27,380
^
You'll get used to it. Oh, I don't know.
88
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:33,540
You can get a lot
of quiet Christian amusement watching some of the hats.
89
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:37,520
I don't think
the hats are funny.
90
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,000
Not from where you're looking!
91
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,100
Didn't you feel a glow?
92
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:47,600
Even beginners
can admit to feeling a glow.
93
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,120
I felt a draught.
94
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,660
There WAS a draught!
95
00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:55,420
You should sing louder, then.
96
00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:59,900
I don't think it's necessary
to sing loud.
97
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:04,940
I think it's more important
to look seriously Christian.
98
00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:07,880
I think YOU'VE cracked it!
99
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,440
I believe in singing loud.
100
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:14,740
That's where
the draught was from!
101
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,560
We weren't taught to sing quietly.
102
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:23,240
There's too many whispering
Christians in the Church.
103
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:27,500
But will it work?
Of course it will!
104
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:30,260
You aren't messing about here.
105
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,060
This is BIG medicine.
106
00:08:33,060 --> 00:08:37,120
I know our vicar
isn't very impressive
107
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:41,620
but you have to remember
the power of his firm!
108
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,360
Good day, Vicar. Very nice service.
109
00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:59,300
Well, here we are then.
Safe and sound.
110
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:02,920
Yes, here we are, then.
111
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,460
Thanks, Jack. Any time!
112
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:07,980
Ta-ta, then, love!
113
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:10,500
Oh, cheer up! It might not happen.
114
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:14,600
It always has. Every damn time.
Come along!
115
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,300
Let's not start prying.
116
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:19,820
I like a little pry.
117
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:22,120
She's not happy.
118
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,800
But what can you expect
when all she eats is handkerchiefs?
119
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,320
What colour IS her Eric?
120
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,360
A sort of pale, Eric colour.
121
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,900
I thought he was dead.
122
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:37,420
No wonder he's a funny colour.
123
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,880
No. The dead one is their Ronald.
124
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,420
Come on!
125
00:09:42,420 --> 00:09:45,740
Another foot! That way!
126
00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:48,260
Jack Harry looks cheerful enough.
127
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:52,320
He always was.
I can't understand it.
128
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:57,840
In every other particular
he'd pass as perfectly normal.
129
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,340
Come on! Come on!
130
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,320
Another foot!
131
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,700
Which way?
132
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,740
Which way?
133
00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:11,760
That way.
134
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,760
Left hand down or right hand down?
135
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:18,320
Left!
136
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,480
NO! NO! RIGHT! RIGHT!
137
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,060
STOP!
138
00:10:30,479 --> 00:10:34,039
I can't get over
Mrs Jack Harry Teesdale.
139
00:10:34,039 --> 00:10:36,519
Sitting there, eating handkerchiefs.
140
00:10:37,999 --> 00:10:40,539
Poor woman!
141
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:43,259
How long since their Ronald died?
142
00:10:43,259 --> 00:10:45,719
Must be two years.
143
00:10:47,079 --> 00:10:51,599
It's such an odd name
to be dead with, "Ronald".
144
00:10:51,599 --> 00:10:56,899
It just doesn't seem to fit
into the bigger cosmic conditions.
145
00:10:56,899 --> 00:10:59,419
What did he die of, anyway?
146
00:10:59,419 --> 00:11:02,779
He fell down a 200-foot cliff!
147
00:11:02,779 --> 00:11:05,339
He were on holiday.
148
00:11:05,339 --> 00:11:09,359
That's some holiday.
I think he was drunk.
149
00:11:09,359 --> 00:11:13,339
Witnesses said
he sang all the way down!
150
00:11:16,219 --> 00:11:18,439
I think that's terrible.
151
00:11:19,459 --> 00:11:21,499
Singing in public.
152
00:11:22,639 --> 00:11:30,259
Save your concern for the living.
What about poor Mrs Teesdale? She seems worried about something.
153
00:11:30,259 --> 00:11:35,239
You're very sharp today. Of course
she's worried about something.
154
00:11:36,839 --> 00:11:39,379
We've got to try to help her.
155
00:11:39,379 --> 00:11:43,419
I could help her better
with another pint!
156
00:11:43,419 --> 00:11:45,959
Suppose we can't help her at all?
157
00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:48,419
Suppose it's none of our business?
158
00:11:48,419 --> 00:11:53,459
I am a former headmaster
with wide experience of the world.
159
00:11:53,459 --> 00:11:57,959
I'm a former blood donor.
A former book club member.
160
00:11:57,959 --> 00:12:00,259
How can it be none of my business?
161
00:12:05,499 --> 00:12:07,359
RIGHT!
162
00:12:23,859 --> 00:12:26,359
If there's anything we can do...
163
00:12:26,359 --> 00:12:28,939
You can put a match to that caravan.
164
00:12:28,939 --> 00:12:34,999
I thought you liked caravanning.
I like GOING but I HATE coming home.
165
00:12:34,999 --> 00:12:41,039
He can never back it
into the damned drive. It happens every time.
166
00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:46,539
He gets me so I don't know my left
from my right, then he blames me.
167
00:12:46,539 --> 00:12:50,579
I was sorry to hear
about your Ronald.
168
00:12:50,579 --> 00:12:54,419
Our Ronald was a drunk.
He was useless.
169
00:12:54,419 --> 00:12:59,139
And I loved him dearly.
It's my husband I can't stand!
170
00:12:59,139 --> 00:13:04,179
Is that all it is? A question
of backing a caravan into a drive?
171
00:13:04,179 --> 00:13:06,699
You think it's nothing?
172
00:13:06,699 --> 00:13:11,739
It's almost ruining our marriage.
He won't speak to me all week.
173
00:13:11,739 --> 00:13:14,299
And he insults my cooking.
174
00:13:14,299 --> 00:13:21,659
Go indoors, dear lady.
Make yourself a cup of tea and leave everything to Seymour.
175
00:13:21,659 --> 00:13:24,199
Where will Jack Harry be?
176
00:13:24,199 --> 00:13:29,219
The White Horse. Every Sunday.
He practically lives there. Er...
177
00:13:29,219 --> 00:13:34,259
If he doesn't talk to you all week,
how can he insult your cooking?
178
00:13:34,259 --> 00:13:36,859
Facial expressions.
179
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:44,499
That man has a range
of miserable expressions handed down through generations of Teesdales.
180
00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:51,019
She were right about the Teesdales.
181
00:13:51,019 --> 00:13:53,539
They could sulk a bit!
182
00:13:53,539 --> 00:13:57,579
You had to make
your own amusement in those days.
183
00:13:57,579 --> 00:14:02,639
They were very close. They used to
sulk together as a family!
184
00:14:02,639 --> 00:14:10,139
If I hadn't spotted that poor
woman's problem, that marriage could have ended in divorce.
185
00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:14,119
It's becoming more popular
than caravanning.
186
00:14:19,099 --> 00:14:21,619
Normally, she's not a bad lass.
187
00:14:21,619 --> 00:14:24,139
We've been reasonably happy.
188
00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:29,159
She's not too demanding -
we always get a good night's sleep.
189
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,959
She does a great Yorkshire pudding.
190
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:34,019
Onion gravy?
191
00:14:34,019 --> 00:14:37,979
Yes! What kind of barbarian
doesn't do onion gravy?!
192
00:14:37,979 --> 00:14:42,959
Marvellous. She's not bad
with a Black and Decker.
193
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:45,479
The simple jobs. You know.
194
00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:49,219
What about...relations?
195
00:14:49,219 --> 00:14:51,719
There's only their Eric.
196
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,699
And he's a funny colour!
197
00:14:55,699 --> 00:14:59,159
I mean normal
domestic arrangements.
198
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,979
Unless we're backing caravans, fine!
199
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:07,079
It's a wonderful bond
between two people.
200
00:15:08,399 --> 00:15:10,419
Onion gravy!
201
00:15:11,659 --> 00:15:15,739
If you're so fond of her,
why do you shout at her?
202
00:15:15,739 --> 00:15:22,759
Because she drives me flaming mad!
She doesn't know left hand down from right hand down.
203
00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:27,139
I don't know left hand down
from right hand down.
204
00:15:27,139 --> 00:15:32,219
Fair enough, but you LOOK like
a mechanical idiot!
205
00:15:32,219 --> 00:15:34,819
I wouldn't ask YOU to back a caravan.
206
00:15:34,819 --> 00:15:41,499
She's been doing it for six months
and it's the same damn performance every time.
207
00:15:41,499 --> 00:15:44,579
What will you do? What I always do.
208
00:15:44,579 --> 00:15:50,799
I'll wait here till dark
then hope we can back in with no-one looking.
209
00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:54,099
What time do you get backed in?
210
00:15:54,099 --> 00:15:56,559
The record was 2.30 in the morning.
211
00:15:57,559 --> 00:16:03,599
I use more chuffin' petrol
outside our house than I do going to Bridlington.
212
00:16:03,599 --> 00:16:08,619
A lot of women get dozy, you know.
About ferrets as well.
213
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:12,679
It needs a steady eye
to reverse a ferret.
214
00:16:12,679 --> 00:16:14,019
Yes.
215
00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:20,879
Relax, Jack Harry.
Your problems are over. WE will guide you in.
216
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,459
Thank you.
217
00:16:27,459 --> 00:16:33,719
So that's it? I go to church once
and my husband stops going astray?
218
00:16:33,719 --> 00:16:36,719
What do you mean, "once"?
219
00:16:36,819 --> 00:16:39,879
You start to go each week.
220
00:16:39,879 --> 00:16:41,879
Each week?
221
00:16:41,879 --> 00:16:44,359
Well, he goes astray each week.
222
00:16:45,459 --> 00:16:49,899
It's a wise move.
You'll have no cause for complaint.
223
00:16:49,899 --> 00:16:54,299
Get the strength of the insurance
companies behind you.
224
00:16:54,299 --> 00:16:57,339
How seriously does he go astray?
225
00:16:57,339 --> 00:16:59,899
We don't need details.
226
00:16:59,899 --> 00:17:03,139
He doesn't go SERIOUSLY astray.
227
00:17:03,139 --> 00:17:05,879
It's just that he's weak.
228
00:17:05,879 --> 00:17:08,859
Mmm. He LOOKS weak.
229
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:11,719
He gets talked into things.
230
00:17:11,719 --> 00:17:17,479
They do. It's often a blessing
when they go deaf.
231
00:17:17,479 --> 00:17:25,059
By the time they're old enough
to go deaf, people have usually stopped talking them into things.
232
00:17:25,059 --> 00:17:27,819
Does he wear a woolly vest?
233
00:17:27,819 --> 00:17:35,959
I always think that
if they're wearing one, they will act responsibly.
234
00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:38,459
Yes. Even if it's a thermal.
235
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:43,579
They don't like it
when you go to church.
236
00:17:43,579 --> 00:17:48,399
It makes them uneasy. Less inclined
to put their feet up on chairs.
237
00:17:48,399 --> 00:17:52,459
I wouldn't have that
even if I was an atheist.
238
00:17:52,459 --> 00:17:58,459
Dad used to think it was
his birthday if you let him get his bottom on a chair!
239
00:17:58,459 --> 00:18:01,039
No-one asked you to tell tales!
240
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:07,419
Nature designed your father
for laying under motor cars, not on my three piece suite!
241
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,519
Quite right!
242
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:16,659
Listen, I can't thank
you blokes enough.
243
00:18:16,659 --> 00:18:21,219
You've no idea what a weight
it's taken off my back.
244
00:18:21,219 --> 00:18:25,979
Just to know for once
that I can back into my own driveway.
245
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,959
No problem!
246
00:18:47,339 --> 00:18:51,319
HE WHISTLES A TUNE
247
00:18:59,079 --> 00:19:01,079
Howard.
248
00:19:02,479 --> 00:19:04,479
Marina!
249
00:19:07,899 --> 00:19:10,739
How do, Howard.
250
00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:14,519
I don't know who you mean!
251
00:19:23,699 --> 00:19:26,139
How are you, Howard?
252
00:19:26,139 --> 00:19:28,999
I can't stop.
253
00:19:28,999 --> 00:19:31,799
Is our relationship cooling?
254
00:19:34,939 --> 00:19:37,939
It isn't cooling.
255
00:19:37,939 --> 00:19:40,999
How can you accuse me of cooling?
256
00:19:40,999 --> 00:19:44,079
I can hardly breathe in this stuff!
257
00:19:44,079 --> 00:19:47,039
You used to breathe a lot heavier.
258
00:19:47,039 --> 00:19:50,119
Do you no longer find me desirable?
259
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:54,299
All I know is that when I look
at your legs...
260
00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:58,519
..I have difficulty in swallowing.
261
00:19:58,519 --> 00:20:03,219
You really know
how to pay a girl a compliment.
262
00:20:05,219 --> 00:20:09,699
And here's me,
wearing your favourite blouse.
263
00:20:09,699 --> 00:20:14,519
Don't say any more!
I can't SWALLOW!
264
00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:17,719
Oh, Howard!
265
00:20:17,719 --> 00:20:19,779
Oh, Marina!
266
00:20:19,779 --> 00:20:23,859
Oh, for crying out loud!
Hurry up, love birds!
267
00:20:23,859 --> 00:20:26,679
Are you coming or not?
268
00:20:26,679 --> 00:20:33,719
I don't know about this stranger,
but I'm just resting exhausted from a bicycle ride.
269
00:20:54,499 --> 00:20:56,759
INAUDIBLE
270
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,379
What's he doing?
271
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,959
We find it simplest never to ask.
272
00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:30,139
Seymour never just jumps in
and makes a bog-hole of it. He works it all out very carefully.
273
00:21:30,139 --> 00:21:32,839
THEN he makes a bog-hole out of it!
274
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:37,779
It's a question
of angles and curves.
275
00:21:37,779 --> 00:21:41,899
Is that it? Is that
the best help I get?
276
00:21:41,899 --> 00:21:46,899
Just sit behind the wheel,
follow my instructions, and relax.
277
00:22:09,679 --> 00:22:12,279
That boy there! Come here!
278
00:22:13,839 --> 00:22:16,319
Here we go, Norm!
279
00:22:19,859 --> 00:22:22,379
Now, stand there!
280
00:22:22,379 --> 00:22:24,359
No, there!
281
00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:28,299
Now, don't move!
282
00:22:28,299 --> 00:22:30,919
Not an inch! You there!
283
00:22:36,299 --> 00:22:38,279
Yes, you!
284
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,319
Now! You stand...
285
00:22:45,619 --> 00:22:47,119
..there!
286
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,219
Right.
287
00:22:49,219 --> 00:22:56,699
Now, you musnt't move an inch,
either of you, or you'll throw all my calclations out of gear.
288
00:22:56,699 --> 00:22:59,159
And I won't have it! I...
289
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:09,519
All right, Norm?
290
00:23:09,519 --> 00:23:11,599
Not bad.
291
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:15,059
I don't mind standing.
I can do standing.
292
00:23:15,059 --> 00:23:20,599
Boring though, isn't it?
I can handle boring, too.
293
00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:25,619
I've had a lot of practice
queuing at the Post Office.
294
00:23:25,619 --> 00:23:30,039
It gets you finely tuned
to boring.
295
00:23:30,039 --> 00:23:35,079
What we have here, Jack Harry,
are two important markers.
296
00:23:35,079 --> 00:23:40,099
At my command, I want you to begin
reversing towards the first marker,
297
00:23:40,099 --> 00:23:44,119
All the time
applying left hand lock.
298
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,659
Left hand lock as far as Compo.
299
00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:48,719
Right! Right!
300
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:53,899
When you get to your first marker,
you reverse on the opposite lock.
301
00:23:53,899 --> 00:23:58,979
Left hand lock as far as Compo,
right hand lock as far as Clegg.
302
00:23:58,979 --> 00:24:04,999
Correct! And as soon as
you draw abreast of Clegg, you begin levelling off.
303
00:24:04,999 --> 00:24:09,019
Then you'll glide gracefully
into your drive.
304
00:24:09,019 --> 00:24:11,539
I'll give it a whirl!
305
00:24:11,539 --> 00:24:15,579
Give it a whirl?
It's not a lottery!
306
00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:18,039
These are calculations!
307
00:24:20,399 --> 00:24:24,659
Right! Are we ready?
At my signal. Wait for it!
308
00:24:24,659 --> 00:24:27,599
Get on with it!
309
00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:29,479
BEGIN!
310
00:24:31,779 --> 00:24:35,059
Now right hand down to Clegg.
311
00:24:42,519 --> 00:24:43,919
And straighten up.
312
00:24:58,679 --> 00:25:00,719
And voila!
313
00:25:00,719 --> 00:25:03,259
Is the man a genius?
314
00:25:03,259 --> 00:25:05,799
Do I hear sounds of applause?
315
00:25:05,799 --> 00:25:08,839
All we can hear is tha big gob!
316
00:25:08,839 --> 00:25:12,999
Now what?
I mean, what's wrong with that?
317
00:25:15,379 --> 00:25:17,939
Is no-one ever satisfied?
318
00:25:17,939 --> 00:25:25,419
I didn't expect a vote of thanks,
but some small acknowledgement of one's efforts would be nice.
319
00:25:25,419 --> 00:25:27,879
It was poetry in motion.
320
00:25:34,439 --> 00:25:36,999
What's his wife doing next door?
321
00:25:36,999 --> 00:25:40,659
She's not next door.
WE'RE next door!
322
00:25:57,679 --> 00:26:02,119
Someone moved!
Own up, the boy that moved!
323
00:26:04,079 --> 00:26:07,099
Are you ready, now?
324
00:26:07,099 --> 00:26:08,559
GO!
325
00:26:30,159 --> 00:26:31,639
STOP!
326
00:26:32,679 --> 00:26:37,719
You begin to see the problem!
The man's an unskilled driver.
327
00:26:37,719 --> 00:26:42,739
I can see the problem.
It's thee, poking tha big nose in.
328
00:26:42,739 --> 00:26:45,299
Oh, come on. Be fair!
329
00:26:45,299 --> 00:26:50,279
Next time, YOU stand
behind the caravan! I'll do it!
330
00:26:50,279 --> 00:26:52,759
I don't mind standing behind it.
331
00:27:03,239 --> 00:27:07,279
Jack Harry Teesdale!
Where are you going
332
00:27:07,279 --> 00:27:11,979
in such a damned hurry!
THE WHITE HORSE!
333
00:27:11,979 --> 00:27:14,379
He sounds upset.
334
00:27:14,379 --> 00:27:18,419
He wants upsetting,
driving like that.
335
00:27:18,419 --> 00:27:21,519
I wonder what's upset him.
336
00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:27,119
The man's a menace behind the wheel.
337
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,659
He KNEW I was behind the van.
338
00:27:29,659 --> 00:27:32,199
Didn't you tell him I was there?
339
00:27:32,199 --> 00:27:34,699
He could HEAR you, there. Nag, nag!
340
00:27:34,699 --> 00:27:37,299
I thought I was a goner.
341
00:27:37,299 --> 00:27:41,459
It makes an unpleasant noise,
a crushed Seymour!
342
00:28:29,219 --> 00:28:33,199
Subtitles by Mary Thompson
BBC - 1989
343
00:28:33,249 --> 00:28:37,799
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
26498
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
